A Love So Strong
by Miss Dark Angel
She had a system, a method gone unchanged for years.
However, this day would be different.
Amidst the celebration of a threatening mare's defeat, she sat in Sugar Cube Corner with her new friend, Pinkie Pie, the others somewhere in the room. They had all of the day to have parties that lasted the night, but the night was for themselves to hang out as brand new friends.
Yet as the day went on, something in her bothered her. And it did not drift away. It ached in her chest for the most part, and she swore she didn't eat anything that would cause that. So what was it?
It took a while, but eventually, the answer clicked into her head, and she struggled hard to keep her face straight as the realization hit her. Hide her sudden distress so as to not ruin the others' party. She enjoyed the treats Pinkie Pie tossed about and conversed with the girls, getting to know them better. For maybe a good part of the night, she forgot all about what bothered her, distracted by these new mares who she got strangely close with in a short amount of time.
However, as the sky dawned into a darker painting, she knew she could not linger on it any longer. The feeling in her chest would not leave until she settled what she thought ought to be done that night. A little change in schedule never hurt anypony... she thought while glancing at the doorway.
“I gotta go,” Rainbow Dash said curtly, barely gesturing to Pinkie Pie, who was talking with Rarity at that moment. They both turned to her curiously.
She didn't even give Pinkie or Rarity a chance to speak before flying out the opened door, leaving a hint of dust in her wake. She somewhat shut the door—it remained opened just ajar—and headed into the outside, which was blessed with a peaceful, purple sky
Upon entering the night, the silver instrument bathed Equestria in a somber light alongside the jeweled sky it accompanied. She breezed through the gentle wind, not so much speeding through. Not only was her destination in short distance from Sugar Cube Corner, but she found it far more enjoyable than soaring at high speeds at the moment. However unwonted, something inside her told her to keep it slow.
As she made her way there, she passed a wide field encased with high variety of flowers, both in lavish color and type. She always passed here before heading to that place, having a strange yet comforting tradition of getting something here before going there.
Rainbow snagged a white blossom with dark green leaves as she glided past it. She slowed down a bit to get the flower but otherwise went by in seconds.
It took a total of a single minute to arrive to her destination. Even in Luna's reflecting moon, it was dark and spooky—in fact, with the moon, it was far creepier.
She stepped cautiously into the ominous field. She wouldn't be surprised to see a fog shroud the space around her. That's how it went in horror stories, anyway. Yet those stories never fazed her. Even on darker nights such as these, she would do anything to head to her desired destination, even if it didn't look quite the most friendly of locations.
Then again, when would a graveyard ever be described as friendly, of all things?
The gate creaked open and shut when she went in. Still, she was unfazed, simply accepting this strange aura about the area. It did not bother her in the least. She refused to be afraid of something that she had grown accustomed to for so long. Every year, she stepped in here, day or night, clear skies or threatening thunderstorms; none of this bothered her. She would not allow it, because nothing would get in her way of coming here.
All around her, tombstones stabbed into the ground that surrounded the path she trotted slowly on. Rather than soar through the air, she always found herself walking to him. It was not necessarily something she thought of; it was just a habit that refused to end.
Finally, she arrived to his grave. Walking slowly up to the dark tombstone just a few feet from the sidewalk, her hooves barely drew a sound as they inched closer to the stone. She, at first, stared at the plate engraved with a name and the name's time to life. Everything else was shrouded in dust from long going untouched.
For a moment, she just stared at it, as if waiting for it to speak up first.
The first thing she did, eventually, was blink and place the blossom against the tombstone. It wilted to its side, as if it were sad, reflecting Rainbow's emotions.
Rainbow Dash kept telling herself to keep calm. This was no big deal, really. So why should she feel like she was ready to cry? She was Rainbow Dash, strong and fearless, tough and brave.
Despite all these very true statements about herself, she did not feel this way she stared at this gravestone. It taunted her, bothered her as it reminded her why she came here now.
She cleared her throat, something in her throat disturbing her. There was a long moment of hesitance, a strange, abrupt nervousness overcoming her. What to say? Was there anything? Plenty. After all, the sudden arrival was not incidental. But where to begin?
“Uh,” she began, coughing from a sudden lump in her throat, “heh. Uh, hey, gramps.”
There was no greet back, of course. This she was aware of. However, she liked to think he sat there atop that dirt pile, smiling warmly at her arrival with his round glasses glinting in Luna's glowing moon above, though she had long accepted he would never respond to whatever she said.
It still hurt to think about that, though.
Remembering quickly just why she came here on a different night than usual, she explained, “I kinda saved the world today—no, really. I met these girls, and we saved the princess from her evil sister. It was pretty sweet, if I do say so myself,” she said in a sudden moment of pride returning to her as she stuck up her head at the recollecting of her shining moment. Her smile about it, however, was weak, a mere mask to her true feelings.
She chuckled lightly, rubbing her hoof on the back of her head. “Turns out I'm some sort of Element... oh, yeah, the Element of... Loyalty or something...”
At this, her voice grew solemn and quieter, to the point where she barely mumbled to herself. Her ears drooped as she fell onto her flank and bowed her head. Her feigned excitement fell, the mask cracked to revealed a deeply troubled mare.
She tried to feel pride in this accomplishment. Anypony would; hay, she constantly bragged about it to many of her Pegasi friends as the day went by. However, she wasn't as into it now as she was hours ago, because this name reminded her of flaws—flaws that made her question that Element.
Choking back any tearful emotion, she went on with a grunt. “Ah, hay, I don't deserve it,” she argued to herself through her teeth. Standing up, she added, “The... whatever magic crap that told me what I am... must have mistaken me for somepony else. I'm not loyal... not when I think 'bout you.” Her eyes glossed over with tears she did not even notice. And she refused to address any falling tears. She had to be strong... had to, even if she was losing that fight with her emotions.
She didn't deserve it. Not at all. They were wrong. They lied. Something was flawed about that system; that was the only reason behind her snagging that Element.
At that instant, she thought of what happened the night before, when she had saved the day with her new-found friends. She especially recalled what Twilight had said, complimenting something about her that she doubted.
“And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire, represents the spirit of... loyalty!"
She remembered exactly how that went, the moment where her fate as an Element, an apparent protector of Equestria, was sealed. When the necklace laced onto her, well, neck, glowing a bright red in a bright streak of lightning, she was beyond speechless. And when it turned out to be a weapon against evil, she couldn't believe it still. It was too much for words. There were no simple words to describe it or her thoughts as it happened. Awe? Surprise? They were mere understatements.
As the day went on, though, she began to doubt it. The thought of her grandfather alone made her think she didn't deserve this. Even Rainbow Dash, ever the prideful and stubborn, had her moments of uncertainty. Even the strongest ponies have times when they have fallen hard and need to let out a few tears, despite her stubbornness against that.
Her eyes, bloodshot from sobbing, grazed over to the name on the tombstone:
Gliding Heights.
They were best friends, she and her grandfather. Even when she had many friends to be around, she always had time for him and her visits to his cloud house. They had connections her friends could not even try to accomplish.
For what felt like an eternal minute, her mind flashed an image of him—specifically, of him before he had fallen ill from cancer. Even with the cancer, his head of light brown coat was bald long before she was even born. And he took this with pride, according to her father (her grandfather's son); whenever someone commented on it, he'd say with a cocky grin that would rival that of Rainbow Dash, “Bald is beautiful.” It was strange and random, crazy even, but he apparently didn't care. He was too awesome to, as she always said. And she loved him for that.
His eyes shined under his glasses, those rose eyes... her eyes. If there's one way to never forget him was when she glanced at herself in the mirror. In her eyes, she saw him, and some days, she struggled to keep a strong face each time—no matter how many times it happened.
Memories flashed into her mind as she thought of her favorite moments with him, all while sitting down again, her eyes drifting upward. How he had stopped smoking when she was born, even though he got caught ever so often when she visited. She grinned at that. How he had multiple Wonderbolts magazines. Gliding Heights was a pony whose Cutie Mark—a pair of wings behind the sun—showed his talents in powerful flying. He always said that if he were a few years younger when they started, he'd do anything to be a part of that team. While they weren't around when he was a younger stallion, he found them interesting over time, enough to hand the magazines and enthusiasm over them over to her when his son revealed he wasn't into them. Rainbow Dash was not like her father; she enjoyed every instant when they sat in the living room, the fire flickering in the background for the cold night. They'd take turns turning pages and taking note on the profiles of the Wonderbolts's teammates, their best performances, and when they would next head out and where.
It was because of him that her desire to join the Wonderbolts bloomed over time. And she would never give up. For him.
It was the least she could do for him. Since she hadn't done anything for him before his time in Equestria came to an abrupt end—abrupt, at least, according to her. She never saw it coming; at such a young age and oblivious to the cruelty of life, it came to whack her in the face brutally.
“I never told you how much I loved you,” she murmured in a voice close to being unlike her, unwonted. As if she cared; she had every right to feel this way, even if those who found inspiration in her would be caught off guard by this emotional side of her. No, she didn't care about them one bit. All she cared about, at these very moments, was her grandfather.
As the memory waved into the back of her head and played a cruel game by making her think back to the day when the dreadful news reached her ears:
Rainbow Dash grazed into the air, wings brushing into the puffy clouds. A wide grin was splayed across her face as she thought over just what kind of tricks she could do that day. She drifted back to the ones her grandfather showed her last since he left for the hospital the week before.
The few details about her grandfather that she actually was certain about was that he was sick for quite some time. His days with her were numbered to barely two days a week, if she was lucky. And in the time she actually had with him, she noticed how his flier was slower and weaker, far less impressive than he normally accomplished. Even his smile and brilliant eyes were weak. However, even when he landed in the hospital, she didn't think much of it.
In fact, she was certain that she would see him again soon, and things would return to normal. Of course they would, because that's how she thought it would go. Happy endings for all...
So focused on her practicing, she didn't even catch somepony's presence until a mare' voice called out her name. Stopping midair in the midst of doing a triple loop—or at least trying to—she turned down to the ground to see her mother standing in the glow of Celestia's sun.
“Come down here, Rainbow!” she had called out.
Floating down with the speed of a bullet, Rainbow did as her mother requested. “What's up, mom?” she asked, swiftly landing onto the ground and grinning widely at her mother. Any concern for her mother's somber expression, should she have any, was not visible as she walked up to her, waiting for her mother.
Meanwhile, her mother struggled for the perfect words. She bit her lip. “It's about your grandfather,” she said.
Rainbow's face fell a little. However vague the statement was, it spoke a million, more silent words. She hated her mother's tone; despised it.
However, she tried to remain calm. She could not jump straight to such a devastating conclusion. Faith, though, was struggling to remain with her. “Is he getting out today? He's doing better, right?” she suggested with hints of desperation. She wanted that to be the truth, and for a moment, she thought it was. Her face brightened a little at this more enjoyable possibility.
But the longer her mother remained quiet, trying once again to explain the situation, the realization dug into her. Her heart sank deeper and deeper with each moment her mother left her going.
“Right?” she said in a whisper, now begging for the truth—or better yet, an answer she found best for her. She was this close to jumping to her mother's hooves and actually begging.
But finally, an answer, full of sadness and tears. “He died an hour ago. He's in a better place now, Rainbow.”
Everything snapped away. The world disappeared, leaving only distraught in its wake. Her eyes watered until they could no longer hold it in anymore. She took a step back, fighting in one last act to try to be strong by not falling into her mother's arms like she wanted to. However, she buried her face in her hooves as tears poured from her eyes in tiny rivers against her cheeks. Her face burned as this pathetic emotion escaped her—and she accepted it.
After all, she just lost her grandfather and best friend.
She didn't know how much time she would have had at the time—or better yet, the time she lost. Too focused on practicing for the Wonderbolts.
She didn't think he would die. She thought he would make it, because he deserved to live. But the world wasn't with Dash on that day, because he died before she could even realize it could happen.
He never even got to see her get her Cutie Mark. Never saw her save the world. Never saw how her training was going for the Wonderbolts. Never.
“Are you proud of me?” her voice cracked as the question digging deep into her mind finally left her. Of all the ponies she wished to tell the story of what she and her new friends did, it was him. She had written a letter to her parents, and her friends and Cloudsdale no doubt had gotten the news in no time. But he would never have anyone tell him the news, not even her.
And yet she wanted to see him as soon as the party was over before; she wanted to explain in great detail, with great enthusiasm, what happened, wanted to watch his reaction whilst hoping it would be full of pride in his granddaughter. She imagined him smiling, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses, and slapping a wing around her shoulder while he ruffled her prismatic mane. Like old times...
She wiped a hoof on her shoulder. He was doing no such thing; he never would.
As she thought of what she already had accomplished at this point in life, she divulged into more of what she wanted to do. Becoming a Wonderbolt, their dream of her to accomplish?
“I wish I could tell you all things I did, or will do. It's different to try to be a Wonderbolt without you there,” she said with a shrug, knowing this wasn't really as big a problem compared to other ones bothering her. She would still be a Wonderbolt in the end, no matter what.
“I kinda wish you could see my friends, gramps,” she started into another conversation rather casually, not stopping to think somepony may pop out and see her talking to this gravestone. She just went on so simply like he was there, smiling and nodding understandingly. “They're all awesome. They deserve those... Elements they got.”
Kindness. Laughter. Generosity. Honesty. Magic. All perfect. She saw the truth in the girls' eyes as they went through the forest and did what they thought was best for each other, for others, for themselves.
Granted, she wouldn't have left him in the dark like that. She wouldn't dare think of that. They were so close to saving the Princess, and she certainly wouldn't stop them from doing so by joining some Shadowbolts; they weren't even real!
Still, her past disturbed any certainty she had to be this Element of Loyalty. She could have been there for her grandfather, could have been by his side for his last few days of life. She could have simply said she loved him before he gave away his last breathing into the wind.
But she didn't, and it bothered her for years. She visited as if it would make up for that. And what happened yesterday only made her feel worse, so going this day felt beyond necessary. She had more words to say than she ever said or even thought to say over the past years.
Words that never would get a response, words that would remain in the dark, no matter how desperate she was to get answers.
“I'm... I'm sorry,” she said with her voice cracking. Wincing, she struggled for a moment to even say that. But crazy things happen when you're in deep distress. “Can you forgive me, grandpa? I'd really... I really wish I knew how you felt.”
No answer.
Gritting her teeth, she rubbed her face in irritation. So many questions and no solution. She groaned and was ready to fall onto the ground, ready to burst into tears again. Reality was cruel, a haunting game that she kept on losing. And she just wanted to scream, scream, Please! I need something! Please!
She knew it would be in vain, though. It had been this way for years, so she should have come to accept this by now? Even after over a decade of going there, it was not so. She bowed her head.
At this moment of her on the brink of going crazy with the unbearable silence, the breeze's strength grew, to a point where her prismatic mane brushed into her vision. After a blind point, she blew stands of rainbow locks from her face. Taking a few heavy breathes, she began to calm herself. She needed to chill; screaming and going nuts wasn't going to do a thing for her.
Curiously, she looked back over to the tombstone and noticed something was... different. Tilted her head, she leaned in to observe it.
Only one thing really had changed. The dust from the long days it had gone untouched had been whisked into the wind, revealing that not only the name and the life and death, but also a phrase the deceased usually praised was scrawled onto the stone.
Do not linger too much on the past, or think too much about the future, because it will ruin the time you have right now.
Blinking, it dawned on her that she had never paid attention to this before, either because the dust concealed it, or if she actually saw it, it just didn't matter to her. The words hadn't struck her back then as much as they would now. Right now was when she found this words significant to her.
She mused over what was engraved, wondering what the hay just happened. Glancing all around her, she knew no one was here—at least in a physical form that was tangible to her. But was... no, of course not. Even with magic being a mundane piece of society, some myths such as spirits brought some skepticism to her.
And yet...
Dash smiled at the grave. Then at the saying, and then, for some reason, at the flower. It had risen from its drooping position. She no longer questioned it.
“I shouldn't be moping over this,” she muttered to herself. Then, in a louder tone, filled with realization as something flashed in her eyes, “You wouldn't want me to, would you?”
Again, no response. Yet something inside her, deep in her gut, told her what that response might have been. An epiphany rose from that tombstone, sending messages into her head to give her strong inspiration. It spread a warmth, a comfort to her, as she felt something calming in her. Before in despair, these words seemed to ease her in ways words anywhere else couldn't ever accomplish.
Nodding to herself, she said, “I still dunno if I deserve that Element. But... does it matter? I mean, c'mon, who else will get it? Will they just toss it to the nearest pony? Heh. I might as well hold onto it for the time being and try to live up to that.” She stared upward into the sky of glittering stars. If her friends thought she was loyal, maybe she could do her best to be that way for them.
“I'll be the best Element of Loyalty ever,” she said with a wide grin, her voice brimming with a sudden wave of confidence.
“And if there's one thing you can count on, is that I won't give up on being a Wonderbolt. I won't give up on that—for you, grandpa,” she finished in a quieter tone. She brushed a hoof against the stone and nodded to it.
She gave one last glance at the headstone, flashing a mock salute, said, “I'll come back on your birthday still. Promise,” before escaping the depressing place at high speed, leaving a poof of dust in her wake.
She sped through the graveyard and back into Ponyville, a sudden motive to her wings. She had friends to get back to, because she knew that for a long time, she'd stick with them. It was the least she could do for the Element of Loyalty by sticking with the girls who she felt a strange connection to.
The second she set a hoof back into Sugar Cube Corner, a wave of familiar faces turned directly to the doorway to see their runaway friend return. With a curt smile, she trotted over to them as they all smiled back, an overall aura of welcoming and kindness spread across the room.
“Where did you head off to so suddenly?” Rarity was the first to question. “We barely caught you leave in the middle of Pinkie's party.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Just had to visit someone.”
“Ooh, ooh, can we meet them?” Pinkie Pie asked, eyes on the brink of popping out as she bounced at the idea of meeting new ponies.
“Eh, probably not. He left a while ago.” Isn't that an understatement? she thought coolly with a roll of her eyes that, thankfully, no one questioned. She stood glancing at all the ponies, who awkwardly shifted in their positions a bit for a few moments. Despite having long hidden away any sad emotions, maybe something had slipped when she said that? The last thing she wanted needed was sympathy from them, or to downtrodden the lightened feel of the room they all stood in.
“Rainbow, are you alright? You seem... down,” Fluttershy observed, perking everypony else's interest as they turned back to the other Pegasus to see if Fluttershy was right.
Rainbow Dash attempted to brush off any sympathy from them. With a raspberry, she leaned against an empty chair and said, “I'm fine, what's there to be 'down' about.” She patted Fluttershy on the back with one of her wings. “It's all good.”
“Well, don't just stand there like a stranger. Sit down, Rainbow,” said Applejack with a chuckle.
Rainbow Dash accepted and plopped into a seat on either side of Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy. At once, when conversation gradually stirred up, she felt her mood rise. The words on her grandfather's grave rung strong in her mind, whispered gently to her, and thus, she enjoyed these very moments with her friends, who were connected by the Elements of Harmony but stayed for the good friends on their side. Whether truly worth of the Element of Loyalty, she'd do her best to keep her side of this exchange strong for them and Gliding Heights.
