"Spike! Was that somepony at the door?" Twilight quickly rushed over to Spike, who was trying his very hardest to eat a triple layer pickle and ketchup and frosting and sprinkles and whatever had been on the bottom shelf of the fridge sandwich.
"Twilight, that was just the sound of your hooves tapping against the ground from all your pacing...again," he groaned before turning back to his meal, opening his mouth as wide as possible to try and gulp it all down.
"But how can you be sure? What if my pacing drowned out the noise of the knocking? Can't you go check to be sure?" Twilight begged him before rushing back to her books. Today was another re-shelving day and Twilight didn't want to risk being distracted and accidentally putting a book in the wrong spot.
"Okay, fine," Spike grumbled, hopping out of his chair and heading towards the door. "But I'm telling you, nopony's going to be there, I don't even think it's time for the mail yet." He swung open the front door to reveal...nothing, once again.
"See Twilight?" Spike turned to her but she was already back among her books, levitating massive piles of them to carefully arrange among the shelves. "Oh never mind."
He was about to shut the door when something slammed into the ground in front of him, nearly sending him to the ground.
"Through the blue skies I have sailed, to deliver all your mail!" a sing-song voice announced.
"Hey Ditzy," Spike said, pulling himself back to the doorway. The wall-eyed mare happily waited for him, a bright smile on her face. "I didn't think you delivered mail this early."
"Well I normally don't, but I know Twilight loves getting new books so I decided to deliver her mail personally!" suddenly, she seemed to notice that the door was already open. "Are you sure I wouldn't come this early? You had the door ready and everything...oh! Are you psychic? Is that one of your magic dragon powers?" Ditzy was right in Spike's face now, an expectant look in her eyes.
"Uh...I don't think dragon's have any powers like that," was all Spike could say. "I just got lucky, that's all."
"Aww, okay," disappointed, Ditzy pulled away. "Anyway, here's Twilight's new book." Opening her saddle bag with a wing Ditzy quickly pulled out a massive looking package, obviously struggling with the weight. Spike held out his arms for it but the package still almost sent him smashing to the the ground.
"Thanks...Ditzy," Spike managed to say through gritted teeth.
"No problem Spike! It was nice to see you. Tell Twilight I said hello, I've got some more packages to deliver," Ditzy gave him a cheery wave before leaping back up into the sky. Spike didn't look after her, rushing over to Twilight in an attempt to get of the package as soon as possible.
"Twilight...mail...package..very heavy..." he gasped out before the unicorn. He was so very tempted to drop it to the ground but that last time he'd done that with a package he received a ten minute lecture on the importance of book maintenance, especially when a new first edition was involved.
Any amount of pain would be better than that.
He didn't have to wait very long. Twilight quickly wrapped the package up with her magical aura and tore the wrapping up like a filly at her birthday.
"Yes, it's finally here!" she proudly waved her new book around the library. "The newest Dictionary!"
"Seriously..." was all Spike could say after a few moments of silence.
"Of course, this is greatest book ever! If you don't know what a word means you can look it up, or you can flip it open to a random page and learn something new every time! It's almost like an adventure!" Twilight explained, setting the dictionary down on a pedestal for reading.
"But haven't we gone though like...three of them since we moved to Ponyville?" Spike had to ask.
"That's the other great thing, since everypony is always learning new things they have to keep adding new definitions to the dictionary. This book holds almost everything know to ponykind!" Spike still couldn't understand how Twilight could sound so amazed about books.
Sure they were a great way to spend an afternoon, and maybe some of the adventures of Daring Do couldn't help but grab his attention, but he would never lose any sleep over the late delivery of a new book.
Still...a part of him was drawn to this new dictionary...he wondered if maybe...
"Hey Twilight, do you think that maybe...I could have a look at that book?" he gingerly pointed at it with a claw.
"Really...I didn't think you'd be that interested in it," Twilight raised an eyebrow at him.
"Well yeah, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try. You know, like with vegetables," he said hopefully.
"Spike, the only green things you've ever put in your mouth are emeralds," Twilight replied, a sly smile on her face.
"Well...yeah. But come on, just let me have a look at it. You're busy with all your re-shelving everything and I promise I'll give it back the second you're done," he pleaded, hands held together. Twilight paused for a few moments, thinking, then finally nodded.
"Okay Spike, but be careful with it," she lifted the book off of the pedestal and once more Spike found himself burdened with its weight. As quick as he could Spike ran off to one of the back rooms, setting the book down on a short table.
He could still hear Ditzy's words in the back of his head, asking about his 'Magic dragon Powers.' He didn't think he had anything like that, but what if he did and he had been missing out on it all this time? Maybe this book might have some answers.
Twilight had torn through the library before looking for anything and everything they might have on dragons and came up with nothing. But this book, it was new, it might have something. Maybe a hint of what he was looking for.
Carefully, he lifted the thick cover and looked over the contents of the book. Okay, everything was in alphabetical order, easy enough.
He gently ran a claw down the page until right...there! D, it was right over...
Spike flipped the pages, his eyes darting among the various words, searching intently for what he was looking for.
A few minutes passed, the only noise in the room being the rustling of paper, until...
Right there!
Spike stabbed downwards, his claw landing on the word.
Dragon.
Quickly, his eyes devoured the information before him...
drag·on [drag-uhn]
noun
Massively powerful magical creatures generally found in the caves or deep woods around Equestria. They are most generally known for their tough scaly hides, massive wings, powerful fire breath, and their monumental hoards of gold and gems.
And then it stopped...
Was that it? That couldn't be it! Spike frantically flipped to the next page hoping for more information, but there was nothing. The book simply flowed to the next word, which he had absolutely no interest in.
This was the worst book ever! Spike was almost tempted to flip the book off of the table but he doubted Twilight would appreciate it.
Plus, the book was still really heavy.
Still, he couldn't believe that something Twilight had hailed as the greatest book ever could have so little about dragons! Dragons were great, they should have had a whole page...no, a whole chapter completely devoted to them!
In fact, he bet he could write a better definition for dragons all on his own!
Filled with determination, Spike scrounged through the back room looking for a spare quill and blank sheet of paper. Luckily, they had just restocked and Twilight hand't gone into a list-making binge.
Placing the items down on the table Spike thought for a moment about where to start...
He couldn't rush it, this definition had to be better than amazing, it had to leap right over perfect and straight into space!
Slowly, Spike brought the tip of the quill the paper and began to write.
He started with D, the first letter, and the most important. D was for dangerous. Everypony knew to be scared of dragons, they were the biggest, strongest, and toughest things in Equestria! True there may have been that one time Fluttershy had scared away a dragon with her Stare, but claw to hoof, nopony was a match for a dragon.
Spike was very pleased at this and quickly moved on to the next letter.
R had to be for rule! Not just because of how great dragons were, but because wherever a dragon decided to live, nothing was going to mess with them. No griffons, ursa, or even Princesses would think of bothering them!
Next was A. That could be...could be...
Arrogance!
It wasn't the nicest word, but then again dragons weren't the nicest creatures. Sure there may be nice ones like him, but he knew first hand how big of jerks some dragons could be, They hoarded anything they could get their claws on, and the more they hoarded the bigger they grew and the more treasure they desired.
It was a terrible cycle, one Spike knew all too well.
With dragons, you just had to take the bad with the good, and hope the good won out in the end.
Spike shook his head and quickly moved to the next letter.
G took Spike a while to pick a word. He almost went for greed, but after arrogance, it felt like he would be repeating himself.
Finally, he decided on gargantuan. A word he'd always liked. From the dragon migration he'd seen dragons that had grown larger than an Ursa Minor, maybe even an Ursa Major! Everything about dragons was giant, their size, power, and their greed.
Nothing could match them.
Two more letters left. A good choice for O would be...obdurate! A word he'd learned from Twilight back when she had insisted on giving him vocabulary lessons.
Luckily Spike had grown out of those, and if Twilight ever got in the mood to teach again he still a few select hiding places she hadn't found yet.
Obdurate meant headstrong, refusing to change your course of action, no matter the consequences. If a dragon claimed an area almost nothing could make it move. If you were its enemy, it would remember your crimes until the end of time!
At least...Spike thought they would. He didn't think the dragon of the Everfree Forest had forgiven him for eating those gems.
Last letter now, his hand was nearly cramping from holding the quill so tightly, but it was almost done. Almost unconsciously, the quill flowed against the paper, writing out the final word.
Notorious.
There were so many stories about dragons, about their attacks and the brave ponies who drove them away. Spike bet that almost everypony heard one of those stories as they grew up.
Spike had never liked those stories.
Yet even with all of those, all that history, still almost nothing was known about them.
Spike stepped back, staring down at the page, at his own definition.
Dangerous
Rule
Arrogance
Gargantuan
Obdurate
Notorious
Those six words, the aspects of being a dragon...
And how many of them fit him?
He may act otherwise...but deep down Spike knew he could never be as great as those other dragons he'd seen. He wasn't that dangerous, needing Twilight or her friends to help protect him.
He certainly didn't rule much of anything, except maybe the fridge.
Arrogance...he may have a bit of that, but Spike couldn't bring himself to give into those temptations. Something always stopped him, most often the smiling face of Rarity.
As for gargantuan...well one look into a mirror dashed any hopes for fitting into that category.
He may be a little stubborn, Spike could still remember his feelings of jealously towards Owlowiscious when Twilight had brought him to the library. He'd tried all of his trick to get rid of the owl...but he'd been wrong. He'd apologized and moved on.
Finally with notorious...well he doubted he had any reputation a dragon would be proud of.
Based on his own definition, Spike wasn't cut out to be a dragon.
Then just what was he meant to be? What did it really mean to be him? To be Spike?
The creak of an opening door snapped him back to reality. Spike quickly turned, blocking the sheet of paper.
"Spike? I just finished sorting through the books and was wondering if..." she paused, looking straight at him. "Spike...what's wrong?" Something else Spike couldn't escape. Twilight could almost always tell when he was trying to hide something from her.
"Oh I was just...you know I was..." Spike stuttered before stopping to take a deep breath. "Twilight...who am I supposed to be?"
Twilight simply stood in the doorway, unsure of how to respond.
"I...I'm not sure I understand Spike," Twilight finally said.
"It's like well...you ponies get cutie marks. You get to see your special talent, what you're meant to do! Dragons don't get anything like that, I don't get anything like that. How am I supposed to find out what I'm supposed to be, what I'm meant to do?" Spike tried to explain.
"And just what brought this on?" Twilight had to ask.
"Well..." Spike looked away, feeling embarrassed, though he wasn't entirely sure why. "You were so excited about the dictionary, about how it had almost everything in it. So I borrowed it to look up 'dragon.'"
"Oh..." Twilight realized. "And it wasn't what you hoped, was it?"
"No, not really. But I thought I could make a better definition," he stepped to the side and waved a hand at the paper. "But even my own definition didn't help. I know I don't have to be ashamed of being raised by ponies, but I don't want to miss out on being a dragon too. I don't think I fit any definition of a dragon..." Silent, Twilight beside him, slowly scrutinizing his handiwork.
"Spike..." she said slowly. "Do you know why the dictionary is always changing?"
"Well yeah, you told me yourself Twilight. Since we keep learning new things they have to be added to the new editions," Spike answered, a bit confused.
"That...and sometimes we realize that the old definitions of words no longer fit," Twilight said, turning to Spike. "They are not set in stone," she smiled at him.
"We are who we choose to be Spike, we are not defined by any definition in a book. Be your own dragon, your own definition," she continued.
"Is it really that easy?" Spike said.
"Well, I guess I could give you some help. You're the greatest assistant a pony could ask for, a messenger for the Princess herself, and above all of that you're one of my best friends," she knelt down next to him.
"Really?" Spike smiled back at her.
"Really, and if that makes you happy then it's far for important that anything you could look up in a book," Twilight said to him.
"Thanks Twilight," Spike wrapped his arms around her neck in a gentle hug.
Who he chose to be...
Well Spike chose to be here, with all of his friends. He could find the rest out later.
And that was enough.
Author's Note
You ever try to look up your own name in the dictionary when you were little? I did...and there was nothing there.
Nothing to tell me who I was supposed to be.
Enjoy your story Spike.
