Friendship is Recursive
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ATTEMPTING TO GIVE A BUCK... THE BUCK WILL BE GIVEN IN...
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“… I don’t even know, sometimes!”
Gizmo Gadget snapped back to reality, for only a moment, but it was enough time to observe his surroundings. He was in a small cottage surrounded by his new friends. Most of them he hadn’t met until recently, but he had been introduced to his new town by two of his former friends, Seetie, a unicorn with a knack for explaining things, and Soots, a very straightforward pegasus . At the moment, Soots was looking at him with a concerned expression, but, soon turned back to the group when he didn’t respond. An outgoing earth pony stallion was droning on about some interesting facts he had learned.
“Did you know that in Trotgomery, it is prohibited to use an umbrella while on the street?”
“No. That’s fascinating, though, where are you getting these from?” Soots asked.
Gizmo started fading off again.
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“I just happen to own a book about the most idiotic legislations in all of Equestria”
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“Also, Baltimare, Mareland prohibits the bringing of manticores to the theater!”
“Well, I don’t know about all of you, but when I go to the theater, I leave my manticore at home!” laughed another pony, a red Pegasus near Seetie, who was being uncharacteristically quiet.
“Hey, I’d actually heard that one before!” Soots announced with a grin.
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“In Oklahomane,” the earth pony continued, “you are not allowed to make faces towards dogs… oh, and get this: A farmer in Horstrailia made his own country. It still exists, and he is still the king!” At this, everypony decided to jump into the conversation at once.
“I actually knew about this Horstarilian Farmer King!”
“We should all move there, I bet the taxes aren’t too high!”
“Sounds like a plan to me!”
“HELLO, IS THIS THING ON?”
It became very quiet in the room at that.
“Hey, you ok over there, GiGa?” Soots asked him, looking concerned once more. It was then that he noticed that everypony was staring at him the same way. Gizmo was confused, because though he had heard that voice like the rest of them, he hadn’t realized it was his own.
“IT'S REALLY DARK IN HERE, AND I CAN HEAR VOICES!” Soots looked like he was trying to see if Gizmo was joking. “I'M TRAPPED IN SOME SORT OF BOX, AND I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND MY WAY OUT! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME DON'T LISTEN TO STEVEN, HE IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED, AND YOU'LL PROBABLY END UP IN HERE, TOO!”
“Who’s Steven?” An orange unicorn mare asked incredulously.
“WHY IS NOPONY ANSWERING ME?” the voice that wasn’t Gizmo’s asked.
“Is it our job to answer you, now?” the unicorn asked sarcastically.
“Don’t worry everypony, I think he’s faking it!” Soots assured them, then to Gizmo, whispered “You are faking it, right?” Gizmo detected a hint of annoyance in Soots’ voice.
“I WAS PUSHED IN HERE BY A STALLION FROM TWENTY MINUTES IN THE FUTURE WHO SAID MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT, BUT NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS REAL ANYMORE... WHY IS NOPONY RESPONDING TO ME”
“We are!” the fact spewing earth pony practically shouted.
“CAN ANYPONY HEAR ME? IS ANYPONY AROUND?”
“Of course, we can hear you, you’re yelling, for Luna’s sake!”
“MY HEAD ACHES... I THINK I'M GETTING SICK. I HATE YOU STEVEN!” Everyone was aghast upon hearing the H-word. It was a word ponies didn’t use lightly.
Soots decided to play along. “Ok, GiGa, I’m opening the box. You can come out now.” He chuckled although it was more of a sound of worried than relieved.
“I THINK IT'S... ALIVE!”
“W-what?” A pegasus near soots asked, her eyes wide with fear.
“OK, IT’S DEFINITELY ALIVE. IT JUST SAID ITS NAME! STRANGE HE HAS YOUR NAME, STEVEN...”
“Who is Steven!” Soots demanded, now visibly annoyed.
“IT’S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO WRITE THESE TEXTS, NOW THAT STEVEN IS GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER. HE IS REALLY WEIGHING DOWN MY HEAD!” At this point everypony was looking as annoyed as Soots. “I DON'T THINK ANYONE CAN HEAR ME! I'M DEPRESSED…” At that, everypony in the room became silent again. Sane ponies don’t get depressed. Everypony knows that if a pony becomes depressed, that pony is insane. “STEVEN FELL OFF A WHILE AGO AND I LOOKED EVRYWHERE FOR HIM... IT ENDED BADLY... I'M BEGINING TO THINK I'LL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE!” The voice finished its thought in a sad tone. It then continued with its rambling. “I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME... I CAN'T GO ON FOR MUCH LONGER...”
“Perhaps I should cast a spell to remove his vocal cords…” the orange unicorn thought aloud.
“WAIT IS THAT A LIGHT?GOING TO CRAWL TOWARDS IT... IT MAY TAKE A FEW DAYS THOUGH...”
“Please! Stop the monolog!” the frightened pegasus pleaded.
“HALFWAY THERE... THE PAIN IS INTENSE!” the voice said. Gizmo noted that it sounded exhausted. “SO CLOSE...”
“Will somepony please shut him up”
“Just stop already”
“..CAN'T BREATHE... WALLS CLOSING IN... I'M ALMOST THERE!” Gizmo felt his face contort, as if in agony, though clearly nothing was there to cause him any pain. Soots grabbed him by the head, and started shaking. “Snap out of it, GiGa!”
“CRAWL! CRAAAAAAAAAWWWWLLL!!!” the voice screamed in anguish. “I HATE YOU STEVEN ... TEN MORE STEPS... WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME... 7 MORE STEPS... LEAVE ME ALONE...”
“Somepony escort him outside. Now!” Soots commanded. Two earth ponies obliged, and began dragging Gizmo towards the entrance.
”PLEASE STOP... TWO MORE STEPS... I CAN ALMOST TOUCH IT!” The frightened Pegasus was now openly sobbing with fear. A nearby stallion tried to comfort her. “It’s alright, sometimes ponies just go insane… There there!”
The voice let out an otherworldly screech, “REEEEEEAAAAACCHHHH!!!” And then Gizmo Gadget went slack in the earth ponies' hooves.
“Is… is he…” the sobbing pegasus tried to ask, but was cut off when Gizmo started to stir.
“I... I'm back...” he said softly. He flashed a weak smile, then proceeded to get up, and trot out the door.
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“Hiya Soots, long time no see!” It had been a few weeks since Gizmo’s outburst. He had cloistered himself away in his house. Nopony had seen him since then. Soots had finally mustered up the courage to go talk to him along with a few others who had been there, mostly because they worried about Gizmo’s health. they were surprised to find Gizmo looking healthier than ever upon the door being opened.
“Hey there, Giga.” Soots said in a reserved tone. “We all thought we’d stop by and say hello, as well as make sure everything was alright. You know we haven’t seen you since… well, you know.”
“Terribly sorry about that!” Gizmo apologized “I’ve just been so incredibly busy hanging out with my new friend!”
“New friend?” Soots raised an eyebrow. “Who would that be?”
“Why, my good friend Steven, of course!” Gizmo responded with outright glee. Upon hearing that name, Soots stiffened. “I get the feeling that this is not a real pony.”
“Oh, really?” Gizmo aked him, looking astonished that Soots could have said something like that.
“Yeah, really.” Soots answered flatly.
“Well then, leave if he upsets you so much!”
“I never said he upset me!” Soots snarled. The other ponies looked startled at Soots’ loss of composure, which he almost instantly regained. “All I said is that I don't think he's real.” With that, he flew off.
“Well, that was weird! Steven!” He called, “You can come down now!” Gizmo then whispered to them, “Please don’t be startled by his appearance, he’s very sensitive about it. Also I think he’s a little hard of hearing, as he talks really loudly. Much to the concerned ponies’ surprise, they heard hoofsteps coming from upstairs. They were then introduced to a pitch black earth pony, which had no tail or mane, and milky white eyes. His cutie mark, which was pure white, resembled some sort of simple face.
“Everypony, I’d like you to meet Steven.”
“HELLO PONIES! HOW ARE YOU?”
“See everypony, I told you he was real!”
“WHY I SUBMIT MYSELF TO HIM, SOMETIMES I'LL NEVER KNOW...” Steven rolled his eyes in a playful manner.
“You’re just jealous of my good looks.” Gizmo retorted, giving the ebony stallion a wink.
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It had been a few days since everypony had first met Steven, and they were starting to get used to him.
“HEY EVERYPONY, WELCOME TO GIZMO GADGET’S AWESOME GET TOGETHER! IT’S GOING TO BE ONE HECK OF A PARTY.” Steven announced at his usual volume, which was more of a shout.
“Now Steven, you know that this is only going to be a normal get together, not a party.” Gizmo corrected.
“YEAH, SURE, WHATEVER!” Steven acknowledged, ushering the guests inside. There was the sobbing pegasus, the factoid earth pony, the mouthy unicorn, and of course Seetie and Soots. At first, Soots refused to even acknowledge Steven’s existence, but he had finally agreed to come.
“For you, GiGa, not for him. I don’t trust him.”
“I don’t see why, when you can see him with your own eyes?” Gizmo frowned
“Yes, I concede I can see him,” Soots sighed, “However seeing is not always believing.” Soots noticed a flash of something on Gizmo’s face. It was only for a brief moment, but Soots caught it. Could it have been guilt? What was his friend hiding from him? He shook it off, though as he stepped inside. Several ponies were gathered in a circle, and in the center, was a very lively earth pony.
“…YEAH I KNOW RIGHT? WHAT SCARES ME ARE BOXES.” Steven shuddered at that thought. He was explaining this to Seetie, who seemed to be following along with him. He had taken quite the liking to her. What he didn’t know was that the feeling was mutual.
“Boxes? How fascinating!” the knowledgeable unicorn commented.
“IT’S WEIRD I KNOW. IT’S JUST… WHENEVER I’M AROUND ONE, I ALWAYS GET THIS STRANGE FEELING OF DREAD, LIKE I’M GONNA FALL IN, OR GET SUCKED IN OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT… MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE I’M HIGHLY CLAUSTROPHOBIC.”
“Claustrophobia is such an overused fear!” the mouthy unicorn commented with a roll of her eyes.
Steven’s demeanor instantly changed.
“HEY, GO TO TARTURUS!” The orange mare mouth hung wide open as she realized he had insulted her. Her eyes started well up with tears.
“Whoa there! That was a little too harsh!” the easily spooked pegasus criticized.
“WELL THEN, YOU CAN JOIN HER THERE AS WELL!” the Pegasus, rather than fighting it like the unicorn, openly wept, which caused the unicorn to burst out crying as well.
“Steven!” Gizmo roared. This stopped Steven in his tracks. Gizmo hardly ever raised his voice at him, and never like this. “Steven,” Gizmo repeated the ebony stallion’s name, “Stop it. You’re upsetting ponies.”
“BUT THEY DESERVED IT!” he whined.
“Maybe, but that is not the way to go about it! You can’t just curse ponies out for their opinions!”
“BUT, WHY NOT?”
“Because then you look like a crazy pony Steven. You…” Gizmo trailed off. He looked off to the side, as though deep in thought. Soon though he turned back to Steven, and cleared his throat. “Just apologize Steven. I have to go… somewhere, to do… something. I’ll be back shortly.” Before Steven or anypony else could object, he teleported outside, and began a full gallop to Celestia-knows-where.
“WELL, THIS IS AKWARD…” Steven turned to face the guests, two of which were glaring at him, their eyes still moist with tears. “LOOK, I DON’T NORMALLY DO THIS… BUT, SORRY. I’M SORRY FOR YELLING AT BOTH OF YOU. THAT WAS OUT OF LINE. I HOPE THAT YOU CAN FORGIVE ME, BUT I’D UNDERSTAND IF YOU DIDN’T.” He saw Seetie sneak into the kitchen, who then made a “come here” gesture with her hoof. “NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I MUST CHECK ON THE FOOD, IN THE KITCHEN… TONIGHT WE’RE HAVING… OH, FOR THE LOVE OF CADENCE, WILL YOU JUST- I MEAN, UGGGGH! BEING NICE IS HARD SOMETIMES” He stomped off into the kitchen. “HEY THERE, SEETIE! WHAT’S UP?” He asked in a very suggestive tone of voice. She sighed. “HAVE I DONE SOMETHING WRONG?” he asked, now worried.
“Oh, it’s not that! Forget about that! It’s not important at the moment. What is important…” she said the next few words in a very sultry voice, “Is that we haven’t done it in a while. At that he perked up.
“SHHHH! YOU WOULDN’T WANT ANYPONY TO FIND OUT OUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET.”
“I don’t even care anymore, let’s do it right here!” she begged.
“RIGHT NOW? WITH ALL THESE PONIES AROUND?” She nodded. He couldn’t believe this was the same Seetie he had talked to a few weeks back.
“WHAT IF THEY HEAR US?” he asked weakly.
“Are we gonna do it or not?” an ultimatum. Well, he’d done it in stranger places than this.
“FINE.” He said. This would be his first time in the kitchen.
“SEETIE, DEFINE FAILURE.”
"Failure: When your best just isn't good enough.”
“DEFINE LOSS.”
“Loss: The act of having something, and then suddenly not having it anymore.”
“DEFINE INSANITY.”
“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”
“DEFINE INSANITY.”
“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”
“DEFINE INSANITY.”
“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”
“Define stupidity.” At that they both looked over to the doorway to see Soots, who did not look amused.
“OH, IT’S YOU! IGNORE HIM SEETIE. DEFINE RECURSIVE.” She obeyed him without hesitating.
“Recursive: Recursive.”
“Don’t try to ignore me! I don’t trust you and I’ll tell you why!” Soots bellowed at Steven.
“DEFINE INFINITY.”
“Seetie, had you ever seen this pony before Gizmo introduced him?” Soots asked.
“Infinity: Having no end. Forever… and no.”
“Doesn’t that seem a little strange to you?” Seetie looked genuinely conflicted. On one hoof, she liked Steven. On the other, she had to admit, Soots was right. It was a little strange.
“Well…”
“I knew it!” Soots stomped his hoof in triumph. “See, you’re not real! I don’t know how you are here, but I’m convinced that you aren’t really there!”
“HEY, THAT’S NOT TRUE!” Steven protested
“I tried telling everypony ad nauseam…”
“WAIT,” Steven cut him off, “WHO’S SICK HERE?”
“You are you sad, sad being.” He said coldly “Here, take this.” Soots pulled out a small envelope he had tucked under his wing. “Gizmo told me to give this to you at the right moment. I don’t think there has ever been a moment more right than now.” Steven took it grudgingly, noticing it was sealed. It was then that they all heard a knock on the door. Steven was so lost in concentration of getting the envelope open, he didn’t even notice the two ponies leave the room.
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Gizmo gadget knocked on the door. He was surprised when he was greeted by Soots and Seetie, rather than Steven. “Hello everypony, did you miss me?”
“Where have you been?” Soots asked.
“Just walking around. I had to clear my mind.” He looked down for a second then looked up when he heard a cough.
“Oh, hi there Steven!”
“HELLO, TRAITOR!” Gizmo saw that Steven was holding the letter he had drafted a few days ago. His heart sank. He’d been putting this off, but now it was finally time…“THAT WAS AN INTERSTING LETTER! CARE TO EXPLAIN?” he had the look and tone of a pony that was both furious and sorrowful.
“Well you see, Steven… Hmm… how do I put this gently?” he wondered aloud.
“PUT WHAT GENTLY, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT!” He demanded.
“I don't know how to tell you this, but Soots was right...” Gizmo continued. Soots had always known he was correct, but hearing it form Gizmo himself… He started to actually feel bad for Steven, because he knew what was coming.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOOTS WAS RIGHT?” Steven asked. But then he figured it out, and his face contorted in anger and grief. “NO... NO, DON'T TELL ME HE GOT TO YOU, TOO!”
Everypony else in the room looked either confused or uncomfortable. Some were feeling both.
“HE’S A LIAR!” Steven spat. “YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT, DO YOU GIZMO?”
“You’re right. I don’t believe it…” Steven relaxed a bit, but tensed up again when he heard the other half of that sentence. “…I know it!”
“BUT I AM REAL GIZMO! I AM!” he contested.
“Only half real.” Gizmo turned away. He hadn’t expected Steven to argue this much. It was becoming painful to even look at him, with the knowledge of what he had to do. He didn’t want to go through with it. But he knew he had to.
“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?”
“It's a sad but true story, I'm afraid...” Gizmo began to explain.“You see, I had been feeling intense loneliness when I first moved here. I was also under a lot of stress.”
“NO.” Steven said.“NONONONONONO!!!” He shouted when the words started to sink in.
“I needed somepony to talk to...”
“SHUT UP!” Steven ordered.
“One day at a get together similar to this one, I had just acted out a ridiculous character… Can you guess who?”
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!! I'M REAL! I AM!!!” at this point he seemed to be talking to himself, as if trying to convince himself that he was in fact real, rather than persuade others
“Well, he seemed to stick with me, almost seemed to talk back...” Gizmo went on seeming as if he could no longer control the flow of his words.
“I'M NOT LISTENING! IT’S NOT TRUE!”Steven seemed to be in physical pain, and looked as if he was about to cry.
“I needed a companion, so I chose you.” Gizmo said softly.
“NO! STOP IT!”
“You were nice and all, but you were flawed...” Gizmo winced at how mean that had sounded, but continued still.
“YOU’RE STARTING TO ACT LIKE THAT STUPID PEGASUS!” Steven told him, pointing a hoof in Soots’ direction.
“You had mood swings, were highly unstable, and of course, could only talk loudly...”
“NO. I DON'T BELIEVE IT!” a solitary tear ran down the left side of his face.
“We are two sides of the same bit, my friend... But there is only one bit...”
“YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND!” Steven shouted as loud as his lungs would let him. Gizmo had hoped he would say that... though that didn’t stop it from causing him large amounts of distress.
“Well, fine. Makes the next part easier.”
“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? KILL ME?” All the ponies in the room were disturbed by this, for they had been wondering the same thing. “IF I'M NOT REAL, THEN BY YOUR LOGIC YOU CAN'T KILL ME!” Steven asserted.
“No, you’re right. I can't kill you, but I can forget you.” A look of horror crossed Steven’s face.
“NO. DON'T DO THIS.” He pleaded.
“Why?”
“BECAUSE I'M NOT GONNA STOP TALKING!” He was now sobbing in frustration. “YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME IF I'M STILL TALKING!” His voice was like that of one whose head was next for the chopping block, saying anything to avoid the inevitable. “I'M REAL, I AM! I'M REAL! OH, I’M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY!”
“Steven, stop!” Gizmo firmly commanded. “You’re just making it harder on yourself...” He paused, knowing full well that Steven was making it harder on both of them.
“WELL, WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME...AFTER YOU...” He trailed off. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he had meant.
“You'll cease to exist, I'm afraid.”
“THIS BITES!” Steven said, defeat being evident in his voice.
“I know. But you were never meant to happen.” Gizmo consoled him.
“I GUESS.” Steven said with what sounded like acceptance.
“It is time. Goodbye Steven.” Gizmo closed his eyes preparing to concentrate.
“WAIT!” Gizmo’s eyes snapped back open.
“Yes?” he asked, suspecting more trouble.
“HERE, TAKE THIS...” Steven pulled out a small piece of paper. On it was sketch of his cutie mark, and a caption:
"F6ARE3WEL21L FR11IEND"
“SOMETHING TO REMEMBER ME BY...” he started to trot towards the front door. Just as he had reached it, he seemed to remember something. “OH, AND GIZMO?”
“Yes Steven?” He asked curious as to what Steven’s final words would be.
“I'M SORRY. FOR EVERYTHING!”
“Me too.” Steven opened the door.
What Steven said next, Gizmo would never forget. And it wasn't what he said that would cause this, but how he said it.
“Good bye, Gizmo.” Steven said quietly for the first, last, and only time in his short existence.
“Good bye, Steven.” With that, Steven stepped out the door. He seemed to dissolve upon contact with the outside world. It only lasted for a split second. And then he was gone.
Nopony spoke for what seemed like forever. Finally, Gizmo broke the silence.
“It had to be done,” His words carried the tone of one with a heavy heart. “Though I'd be lying if I said I won't miss him...” He paused as he often did while explaining something important. “This is what happens when I get extremely lonely, I fail to cope with my loneliness and instead create something to combat it. And I know it’s crazy, but I actually feel kind of bad for him.” He elaborated. “I used him. When I was done with him I cast him off. I feel sad now.”
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The guests had all left, with the exception of one. Seetie had stayed, even after Soots had begged her to leave.
“I just gotta tell myself, it was for the greater good...” he told her. She laid a reassuring hoof on his shoulder.
“He was never meant for this world...” She said calmly.
“I bet everypony who was here hates me now. I wouldn't blame you all.”
“What makes you think I hate you?” she asked him.
“I don’t know. Do you hate me?”
“Of course not!” She replied.
“Thank you, Seetie!” he smiled. “Hey, can I ask you something?” he said suddenly.
“Sure, ask away!”
“Define friendship.” Seetie thought for a while on this one, choosing her words carefully.
“Well, I could give you the textbook definition, but have this instead…
Friendship: True friendship is not when you go to school and hang around with someone just because you have no one else to chill with. It’s not calling someone up when you’re bored because they are fun to talk to. It’s not when you can’t think of a birthday gift and end up buying your friend a gift card. It’s not when you have to talk to someone about something you don't particularly care about (like how much snow we got last year) to avoid an awkward silence.
Friendship is when you love someone with every ounce of your being and genuinely want them to be happy even if it means sacrificing something yourself to make them happy. A true friend is someone you can talk to about your feelings, someone you can tell things you could never tell your family or even your partner. They are someone who you don't have to talk to but someone you want to talk to; someone you will go out of your way to be with. Friendship is when you love someone so much you want to hold them and never let go, someone you want to rest your head on and cry, and you would let them cry on you too. It’s someone you can talk to about things you disagree on and end up being closer for that disagreement. It’s when you think about someone and how close you are to them and how much you love them and you smile and are happy all over.
Friendship is when your love for someone exceeds your need for them.
A wise old mule once said that!”
When Seetie had finished, she looked up and saw that Gizmo was crying. But for once, these were happy tears.
“Well played mule, well played.”
THE END
