Pride and Prejudice and Ponies

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Epilogue
Prologue
Chapter 3
Interlude

Chapter 1

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet were a happy and sad couple, who lived in the Carousel Boutique in the quaint little town of Ponyville. Their happiness, as well as their sadness, rested upon the fact that they had five daughters. As a result, there was rarely a dull or quiet moment at the Bennet House.

"My goodness!" Mr. Bennet said, holding his hooves over his ears as he walked through the sitting room. "You girls make almost as much noise as your mother does!"

Mrs. Bennet, who had entered the room with her husband, frowned slightly. "That's not funny, dear," she said. "But I could hear the commotion from all the way in the kitchen. Why were you shouting, Sweetie Belle?"

"Scootaloo got her cutie mark today!" Sweetie Belle whined. "Now I'm the only filly in school who doesn't have one!"

"Oh, dear," Mrs. Bennet said.

"Fluttershy says she and Rainbow Dash got their cutie marks when they were ten!" Sweetie Belle said. "But I'm eleven! When am I gonna be old enough to get a cutie mark?!"

"Age has nothing to do with it," Mr. Bennet said. "Why, your sister Rarity got her cutie mark when she was...um...how old were you again?"

"I remember, it was the month before Sweetie Belle was born," Rarity said. "I was nine."

"AAAAAAAA!" Sweetie Belle screamed.

"Sweetie Belle Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet said. "No screaming inside the house! A lady does not scream!"

"Huh," Mr. Bennet said. "Good thing I'm not a lady, then. Pinkie Pie would—" he stopped and did a quick head count of his family members. "Girls, where's Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh no!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Don't tell me she's run off again!"

"Relax, she just went to get some cookies from the store," Rainbow Dash said.

"Without adult supervision?!" Mrs. Bennet cried. "She could get hurt! Or robbed! Or she could meet her future husband, without anypony there to introduce her to him!"

Everypony in the room groaned, except for Mrs. Bennet.

"What?" she asked. "That could happen, and it would be a disaster! A tragedy! A reason for—"

"Darling," Mr. Bennet said calmly. "Do you remember what I told you last month? When you forced Pinkie to get a job at Sugarcube Corners, because you thought Mr. Cake would fall in love with her?"

"That is a completely different situation!" Mrs. Bennet scoffed. "After all, how was I supposed to know he's already married?"

"Um...he works with Mrs. Cake," Fluttershy pointed out.

"I thought she was his mother!" Mrs. Bennet said. "And besides, he and Pinkie make such a cute couple. I don't see how you could blame me for one innocent mistake!"

Rarity, who still remembered the Hearts and Hooves Day she had been forced to spend with Hayseed Turnip Truck, muttered something unkind under her breath. Rainbow Dash, the only one close enough to hear anything, smirked at her.

They didn't have long to wait before Pinkie Pie returned. A few minutes later, the front door burst open and Pinkie Pie ran in. "Super important news, everypony!" she said. "Super duper important news!"

"Pinkamena Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet scolded. "What have I told you about going out alone?"

"Mom!" Pinkie whined. "I don't need a foalsitter to take me everywhere! I'm almost an adult!"

"You don't turn 18 for two more months!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Why, when I was your age—"

Mr. Bennet interrupted, hoping to avoid an argument. "What's the news, Pinkie?" he asked.

"New ponies in town!" Pinkie said, bouncing around the room. "There are new ponies in town!"

All the Bennets let out exclamations of interest at this, and they crowded around Pinkie Pie, asking questions. Pinkie was glad to be the center of attention.

"You know Granny Smith, the old mare who lives at Sweet Apple Acres?" Pinkie Pie asked. "She finally sold her farm to some of her relatives! I caught a glimpse of them as they were moving their luggage through town!"

"What were they like?" everypony wanted to know.

"Two of them were mares," Pinkie said. "They both looked kind of nasty, if you ask me. One was orange, and she's around our age. The other one was a yellow filly."

"Does she have a cutie mark?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I don't remember," Pinkie Pie said. "But the third pony! Oh my gosh! His name is Big Macintosh, and it fits, because he's the largest stallion I've ever seen!"

"A stallion?" Mrs. Bennet cried. She picked up Fluttershy and spun around in a circle. "Do you hear that, Fluttershy? We found you a husband!"

"Eep!" Fluttershy said, blushing.

"Dear, you're moving too quickly again..." Mr. Bennet said, holding a hoof to his forehead.

"Nonsense," Mrs. Bennet said. "It is a universally acknowledged truth that if a stallion is single and in possession of a good fortune, he needs a wife. And our girls are the prettiest, most elegant, most wonderful mares in town! Mr. Macintosh is sure to fall in love with one of them, when we invite him over for dinner tonight!"

"Tonight?" the girls gasped.

"Talk about short notice!" Rainbow Dash complained.

"I don't have anything to wear..." Fluttershy said.

"But I was going to visit my friend Twilight!" Rarity said.

"You'll have to change your plans," Mrs. Bennet said. "If you don't stay for dinner, how are you going to meet Mr. Macintosh?"

"Oh! I know!" Pinkie Pie said. "Everypony that moves to Ponyville gets a big Welcome to Ponyville party, right? We can meet the Bingleys there!"

"A party? Even better!" Mrs. Bennet said. "You can dance the night away with Mr. Macintsoh! The bonds of love will flow as swiftly as your feet! Your father and I first met at a dance, you know!"

Mrs. Bennet starting humming a waltz. She stood up on her hind legs and grabbed her husband, forcing him to dance along with her.

"Darling...there's a...problem..." Mr. Bennet said, trying to keep pace with his wife's hooves.

"What's that, dear?" Mrs. Bennet asked.

"We haven't been invited to any party yet," Mr. Bennet said.

Mrs. Bennet gasped and dropped her husband. He fell on the floor with a loud crash. "Oh my Celestia, you're right!" she said. "You'll have to get us an invitation!"

"Me?" Mr. Bennet asked, rubbing his right hind leg as he got up from the ground. "I'm not the one who wants to marry him! Why don't you send our daughters?"

"It would be improper for one of our daughters to call on him!" Mrs. Bennet said. "You're the only stallion in our family, so you have to be the one to meet Mr. Macintosh."

"Fine, fine, I'll get going," Mr. Bennet laughed. "You girls take care of your mother while I'm gone, okay?"

The girls all kissed their father goodbye, as he put on his hat and travelling coat.

"Good luck with Mr. Macintosh," Fluttershy said.

"Make sure to tell us all about him," Rarity said.

"Let me know if the filly has a cutie mark!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Don't come back until you get an invitation to the welcoming party at Sweet Apple Acres!" Mrs. Bennet called.

Mr. Bennet shook his head and smiled as he left. "You know," he said to no one in particular, "she wasn't quite this forceful about relationships when I was courting her."

Chapter 2

The welcoming party at Sweet Apple Acres took place the following Saturday night. About thirty mares and seven stallions were invited, including a few of Big Macintosh's relatives. Mrs. Bennet was not very happy with that particular mare-to-stallion ration; Mr. Bennet remarked that the stallions probably had no problems with the situation.

Big Macintosh Bingley was there to personally greet the Bennets, when they arrived. Big Macintosh was good-looking and gentlemanlike; he had a pleasant countenance, and easy manners that were charmingly rustic.

"Howdy," Big Macintosh said to Mr. Bennet. "This must be your family."

The girls all lined up, and Mr. Bennet introduced them in turn. Big Macintosh nodded at each of the girls, then frowned slightly when Mr. Bennet ended by introducing his wife. "What about the one with the pink mane?" he asked.

"YAY!" Pinkie Pie said, jumping forward. "I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm the cutest!"

Big Macintosh seemed a bit rattled by Pinkie's enthusiasm. "No, I mean...the mare behind Rainbow Dash."

"Oh," Rainbow Dash said. She stepped aside to reveal Fluttershy, who had been trying to hide behind her sister. Fluttershy took a small step forward, her head hanging low and her hair over her face.

"That's Fluttershy," Mr. Bennet said. "She's the eldest. Stand up straight, dear."

Fluttershy lifted up her head and looked at Big Macintosh. She let out a small gasp of surprise when he smiled at her.

"Miss Fluttershy," Big Macintosh said, holding out his hoof to her. "Will you do me the honor of giving me your first dance of the evening?"

Fluttershy let out a small squeak.

"What was that?" Big Macintosh frowned.

"I said—"

"Big Mac! There you are!" a voice shouted. Two seconds later, an angry-looking orange mare with an unfashionable Stetson hat stepped forward. "Stop getting flirty with the guests and get ta work! You gotta finish takin' out all the chairs!"

"Ah, Applejack!" Big Macintosh said. He gestured towards the Bennets. "Everypony, this is my sister Applejack. Applejack, this is the Bennet family."

"Pleased to meet you, Applejack," Rarity said graciously. "My name is—"

"Whatever," Applejack said. "Just get movin', Big Mac. This is your party, so you gotta take care of it!"

"Please, excuse me," Big Macintosh said. "It was a pleasure meeting you all."

"YES!" Fluttershy shouted.

Everypony looked at Fluttershy, and she turned beet red. "Yes, I'll save my first dance for you," she said.

Big Macintosh smiled widely, as his sister pushed him out of the way. Mrs. Bennet immediately rounded on Fluttershy and gave her a barrage of advice that didn't end until Mr. Bennet dragged her away. The Bennets then broke off into little groups; Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash went off together, while Sweetie Belle went in search of somepony her own age. As for Rarity, she decided to speak with some of the ponies she didn't know.

Big Macintosh and his sisters were the highlight of the party, but there was one stallion in particular who gathered a good deal of attention on his own. He was an elegant unicorn named Mr. Darcy, with a fancy little mustache and high society manners. The fact that he owned an estate up in Derbyshire, worth about ten thousand bits a year, did not hurt his popularity in the slightest.

No, what ruined Mr. Darcy's popular was his foul attitude towards anypony besides the Apples. It was clear he did not wanted to attend this party, and he dismissed all who came to talk to him. Indeed, when Pinkie Pie tried to introduce herself, he abruptly sneered and walked away.

Dancing started about a half-hour into the party. Due to the lack of stallions in attendance, Rarity was obliged to sit down for the first several dances. She decided to amuse herself by getting a drink at the refreshments table. When Big Macintosh tried to convince his standoffish friend to join in the festivities, Rarity was close enough to overhear the entire conversation.

"Come on, Darcy," said Big Macintosh, "I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance."

"I certainly shall not," Mr. Darcy said. "You know how much I detest dancing with complete strangers. Dancing with one of the mares here would be more of a punishment than an enjoyment."

"A punishment?" Big Macintosh laughed. "If you got off your high horse and actually talked to a mare, you'd see they're not so bad. In fact, in my whole life, I've never met so many pleasant mares as I have this evening!"

"Common folk are always simple-minded," Mr. Darcy said. "I would much rather be back at Canterlot."

"They may be common folk, but the mares are uncommonly pretty," Big Mac said, nudging his friend. "Even you can't deny that."

"Easy for you to say!" said Mr. Darcy, looking at Fluttershy. "You are dancing with the only beautiful girl in the room."

Big Macintosh blushed slightly. "She is the most beautiful creature I've ever seen," she said. "But if I were you, I wouldn't be so quick to judge. Why, there's one of her sisters getting a drink just behind you. She seems rather agreeable. I can ask Fluttershy to introduce you."

"Hm? Who do you mean?" Mr. Darcy asked. He turned to look at Rarity, who quickly turned her head away to make it seem like she had not been spying on them. Knowing that the best-looking stallion in the area was watching her, Rarity smiled charmingly and struck a pose which showed off her dress.

"She is tolerable, but not pretty enough to tempt me," said Mr. Darcy disdainfully, looking away after a second.

Rarity's jaw dropped.

"I am in not in the mood to humor young ladies, who are not good enough to get dance partners of their own. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."

"Hmph!" Rarity said to herself. "The only waste of time here would be talking with such a rude stallion!"

Rarity marched off, intent on finding some friends and telling them what had just happened. Mr. Darcy's behavior called for a round of immediate, severe mocking. Rarity quickly found her best friend, Twilight Sparkle, conversing with Rainbow Dash and Mr. Bennet.

"I just heard the most ridiculous thing!" Rarity said, as she stepped towards them.

"Oh, dear," Mr. Bennet said. "Don't tell me you also have been talking about the town's newest dancing champion!"

"What?" Rarity asked.

"Big Macintosh," Rainbow Dash explained. "He and Fluttershy shared two dances in a row."

"Really?" Rarity asked. She turned her gaze to the dance floor. "It looks like he's dancing with Pinkie Pie now."

"Well, he danced with me first," Twilight said.

Mr. Bennet let out a loud, fake groan. "I can't keep track of all of his dancing!" he said. "If only he had sprained his ankle! Then my life would be complete!"

"I am sure he is just being polite and dancing with all the mares here, so nopony is left out," Rarity said. "However, his friend Mr. Darcy is not polite! He said I was not pretty enough to dance with him!"

Twilight gasped in horror, while Mr. Bennet pretended to faint.

"Ouch," Rainbow Dash said. "Want me to beat him up for you?"

"Perhaps," Rarity said. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Which one is Mr. Darcy?" Twilight asked.

Rarity pointed him out. "He's the unicorn, standing next to the barn, doing nothing and looking absolutely bored. Of course, that's what he should be doing, seeing as he turned down the best entertainment of the night."

"You're starting to sound like your mother," Mr. Bennet said. "Celestia help us."

The four of them continued to chat, until Big Macintosh interrupted.

"Pardon me, Miss Bennet," Big Macintosh said. "Would you care to dance?"

"Yeah, it'd—" Rainbow began to say.

"I'd love to," Rarity said, interrupted, stepping in front of her sister. "As long as it's not here. I'd prefer to dance by the barn."

Chapter 4

The Bennet girls were known for being the most active mares in all of Ponyville. Not only were Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash the winners of the Running of the Leaves for the past six years, but all five sisters working together had set a few world records at the last year's Sisterhooves Social.

So it was somewhat odd that the five active girls chose to spend the next morning inside the room they shared together. A miniature platform had been set up in the middle of the room, and Fluttershy stood upon it, feeling very self-conscious.

"I'm jealous," Sweetie Belle said, as she combed Fluttershy's tail. "Your mane is so soft and straight! I wish mine was like that."

"There's nothing wrong with a curly mane," Rarity said. She held up two outfits. "Which one do you like more? Red or blue?"

"The blue one is my favorite," Fluttershy said. "But...um...do you think Mr. Macintosh will like it?"

"He likes you, Fluttershy," Rarity said. "I'm sure he'll be happy, no matter which outfit you wear."

"I just...I don't want to make any mistakes," Fluttershy said, her voice dropping to a whisper. "This is...really important to me..."

"I think you should run up to Mr. Macintosh and give him a humongous kiss on the lips!" Pinkie Pie said. "That way, you'll get all the awkwardness over and done with as soon as possible!"

Fluttershy blushed at the thought. "No, that's...I mean, it's..."

"You wanna kiss him, don't you?" Pinkie asked. "I've never kissed a stallion, except for those three times which don't count. You have to tell me what it's like!"

"Don't listen to Pinkie," Rainbow Dash said. "She's still a little filly."

"I'm almost eighteen!" Pinkie protested.

"The point is that you shouldn't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable," Rainbow Dash said. "If Mr. Macintosh gives you a hard time about anything, I'll sock him in the eyes."

"That's the problem," Fluttershy said. "I feel comfortable, and I feel uncomfortable, and...I don't know how to explain it, really."

"What do you mean?" Rarity asked, as she adjusted the the dress' collar around Fluttershy's neck. The yellow pegasus' hair had been tied back into a bun, so she couldn't hide behind her mane, like she sometimes did when she was nervous.

"It's just...well, you know I'm not so good at talking to other ponies," Fluttershy said. "But last night, when I was with Mr. Macintosh, it wasn't like that. He's so good-natured and easy to talk to! I really like him!"

"So what's the problem?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"That's the problem!" Fluttershy said. "I feel uncomfortable because he makes me feel comfortable! Does that make sense?"

"He's the first stallion you've ever liked, and things seem too good to be true," Rarity said. "It makes perfect sense that you're nervous."

"I still say there's nothing to worry about," Rainbow Dash said. "He's crazy about you, 'Shy. He'll like you, even if you manage to accidentally knock him into the lake."

"I still say kissing him wouldn't hurt your chances," Pinkie Pie said.

"Pinkie, aren't you supposed to be getting the food ready?" Rainbow Dash asked, exasperated.

"I got the picnic basket right here!" Pinkie said, holding it up.

"Perfect. So let's run through this one more time," Rainbow Dash said. "You remember what you're going to do, right?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I go to Sweet Apple Acres and ask Mr. Macintosh if he'd like to have lunch with me."

"Exactly. Let's try it out," Rainbow Dash said. She tried to imitate Big Macintosh's accent. "Whah hello thar, Miss Fluttaiysheei. Ah nevuh expected tuh see yo' hyear."

Sweetie Belle giggled. "That sounds nothing like him!" she said.

"Hush," Rarity said.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Macintosh," Fluttershy said, smiling a bit. "It's such a nice day that I thought I'd go out and have a picnic by the lake."

"Whai, thet sounds maihtee foine," Rainbow Dash said. "Hue are a rully smert pa-hony."

"Oh, dear, but I think I packed too much food," Fluttershy said. "There's no way I can eat all this by myself! Could you help me—this isn't going to work."

Rainbow Dash's face fell. "What? Why'd you stop?" she asked. "You were doing great!"

"No!" Fluttershy said. "It's so...obvious! He's going to be suspicious that I packed too much food by accident! He'll be mad that I'm lying and trying to trick him, and—"

"Calm down," Rarity said, putting a hoof on Fluttershy's side. "How do you want to do this, then?"

"I...I want to be honest," Fluttershy said. "I want to ask him to eat with me, but I can't because he might say no, and—oh! I don't think I can do this! I want to just stay here at home!"

"Nuh uh!" Sweetie Belle said. "I've been combing your mane for fifteen minutes! You're going to show it off!"

"No, no, no!" Fluttershy said, shaking her head violently. "I can't risk it! He's not going to like me, anyway! Nopony likes me!"

"We like you," Rarity said.

"Yeah, you're the best big sister ever!" Pinkie Pie said. "And we're all super-psyched that you're going to get some action today!"

"And even if things don't work out with Big Mac, we'll still love you," Rainbow Dash said.

Small tears formed in Fluttershy's eyes. "You four are the best...I'm so happy...and scared..." she mumbled.

The Bennet girls soon found themselves in a group hug, with Fluttershy at the center. "Don't worry," Rarity said. "Nothing is going to ruin your big moment with Mr. Macintosh."

That was when Mrs. Bennet entered the room. "Girls, why are you all cooped up in—AAAAAA!"

"Mother, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, concerned.

Mrs. Bennet grabbed her chest and gasped loudly. "Fluttershy! You're all dressed up! You—you're going to become Mrs. Fluttershy Apple Bennet Bingley!"

"...I spoke too soon," Rarity said.

Fifteen minutes later, Mrs. Bennet was marching all over the sitting room, lecturing Fluttershy on how to win Mr. Macintosh's heart. Mr. Bennet, who was sitting in his usual chair, tried to protect Fluttershy from his wife's onslaught, while the other girls looked on.

"I knew you two were destined to be together," Mrs. Bennet said. "The fact that you want to go see him is living proof of that."

"And the fact that you're interfering is proof that everything will go horribly wrong," Mr. Bennet said. "Why not leave the girls alone? I think asking Mr. Macintosh to a picnic is more than good enough."

"Good enough!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Don't be foolish! You don't trap a husband with a napkin; you trap him with a net!"

Mr. Bennet sighed. "Please tell me that you're not planning on foal-napping Mr. Macintosh and locking him in the basement until he agrees to marry Fluttershy," he said. "I'd really hate to get the police involved."

Mrs. Bennet honestly considered that plan for a moment, before dismissing it. "No," she said. "I'm saying that Fluttershy shouldn't bring Mr. Macintosh a small picnic lunch. She should bring him a large dinner!"

By this point, Fluttershy had curled herself up into a ball, and she wished she had the ability to disappear. "Um...that's too much," she mumbled.

Mr. Bennet nodded at his eldest daughter encouragingly. "Yes, I think a picnic lunch is the superior plan," he said. "She and Mr. Macintosh will have a much better time, if they are alone."

"Besides," Rainbow Dash said. "The weather team scheduled rain for tonight. The only time Fluttershy can visit Sweet Apple Acres is during the day."

"That's exactly my point," Mrs. Bennet said. "If Mr. Macintosh is half the gentlecolt I think he is, he won't let Fluttershy go home in the rain. He'll let her spend the night at Sweet Apple Acres with him!"

Fluttershy moaned. "I can't stay overnight with a stallion!" she said. "What will everypony say?"

"And another thing," Mrs. Bennet said. "That dress is far too loose-fitting. We need to get you into a full-body corset, immediately. Losing a few inches will work wonders."

"Fluttershy isn't fat!" Rainbow Dash said hotly.

"Yeah, compared to me, she's got the most healthy diet ever!" Pinkie Pie said.

Fluttershy brought a hoof to her left wing and rubbed it, worriedly. "Tight clothing hurts my wings," she said. "And I like the outfit Rarity made..."

"Wings? What do you need your wings for?" Mrs. Bennet asked. "Mr. Macintosh is an Earth pony, so you need to look like an Earth pony to get his attention! Strap those wings to your sides!"

"I think it's better for Mr. Macintosh to like Fluttershy for who she is, not who she pretends to be," Rainbow Dash said.

"Ridiculous!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Do you think I was honest with suitors, when I was being courted? Why, to this day, my husband still doesn't know my real age!"

"My dear wife," Mr. Bennet said. "You can't hide the truth from me. I know for a fact that you're forty-five—"

"THIRTY-TWO!" Mrs. Bennet yelled.

"Um, I'm twenty-two," Fluttershy said.

"No, if Mr. Macintosh asks, you're nineteen," Mrs. Bennet said. "And do stop questioning me about this. As the only married woman in this household, I can assure you that my stallion-catching tricks never fail."

So it was that Fluttershy left for Sweet Apple Acres, ten minutes before the scheduled rainstorm. Her family wished her well as she left the house. Rarity frowned as she saw that Fluttershy was walking a bit awkwardly in the tight clothes her mother made her wear.

An hour later, there was a knock on the front door of the Carousel Boutique. It was Derpy Hooves, the faithful town messenger.

"Message from Sweet Apple Acres, for the Bennet Family!" Derpy said, saluting.

"Ah, Miss Hooves," Mr. Bennet said. "We've been expecting you. Is Fluttershy going to spend the night at Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Bennet," Derpy said.

"See?" Mrs. Bennet said. "I told you my plan would work."

"They said she's staying there because of...um...what was it?" Derpy asked. She scratched her head. "New...knew...pneumonia! That's it! She's staying there because she got pneumonia!"

"What?" Mrs. Bennet screeched.

"Yeah, I saw her, and she's too sick to walk," Derpy said. "Who decided to let her go outside in the middle of a rainstorm?"

Everypony glared at Mrs. Bennet, who chuckled weakly. "Oops."

Chapter 5

"One of us should go to look after Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said.

"I volunteer," Rarity said. "I'll leave immediately, and you can all visit on the morrow."

"You can't go to Sweet Apple Acres right now. It's still raining!" Mrs. Bennet said.

"I'll take the carriage," Rarity said.

"No, you can't go out this late at—"

"Let Rarity be," Mr. Bennet said, stepping forward. "The last pony our daughters should listen to right now is you."

"Mr. Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed.

"I like to think that I am a reasonable pony," Mr. Bennet said, in a tone of forced calm. "I put up with a lot of silly nonsense about stallions and marriages, because I love you. But I draw the line at almost murdering one of my daughters!"

"It was a dreadful accident—"

"NO!" Mr. Bennet said, clomping his hooves on the ground. "You should never have interfered in the first place! Fluttershy wanted to have lunch with Mr. Macintosh, and that was perfectly reasonable! I told you this! Fluttershy told you this! Everypony agreed a lunch would be sufficient!"

"I...just thought...dinner..." Mrs. Bennet said, sounding more like Fluttershy than herself.

"Instead, you forced Fluttershy to leave during a rainstorm," Mr. Bennet said. "Now she's lying on her deathbed. If she doesn't come out of this alive, I...I..."

"You'll dismiss me?" Mrs. Bennet gasped.

"I'm not sure what I'll do," Mr. Bennet said. He turned around. "In any case, Fluttershy's bed is now available, and I suggest you make use of it. You certainly shall not be sleeping in our bedroom tonight. Nor tomorrow, nor the next."

"Husband!" Mrs. Bennet said, grabbing Mr. Bennet's hoof. "I didn't mean for this to happen!"

A tear appear in Mr. Bennet's eye. "I want to be alone right now," he said. "Fluttershy is...she could be...where do we keep the key to the liquor cabinet?"

Rarity took the carriage to Sweet Apple Acres, but the farm was not designed for carriage traffic. She had to walk the last hundred yards on hoof, and by the time she arrived at the front door, she had been thoroughly rained on. Her hair was disheveled, and her petticoat had mud all over it, but she didn't care in the slightest.

Big Macintosh was at Sweet Apple Acres with his sisters and, much to Rarity's displeasure, Mr. Darcy. Darcy's mouth fell open in shock, when he saw Rarity's wet mane.

"Dear me," Mr. Darcy said. "Are all the mares in Ponyville so impetuous, as to walk in the rain without an umbrella?"

"I had no time to retrieve one," Rarity said. "My first priority was ensuring my sister's health."

Mr. Darcy nodded. "I confess I would probably act in a similar manner, were my sister Fleur to fall ill. Still, it is unseemly for a mare to appear—"

"Perhaps I did not make myself clear," Rarity said. "Fluttershy is my first priority, not engaging in idle chatter. Where is she?"

"We put her upstairs, in a guest room," Big Macintosh said. "I can take you there immediately."

"Please do," Rarity said.

"Hold it!" Applejack said. "First, get a towel from the linen closet and dry off! We can't have you trackin' mud all over the house."

Rarity scowled at her, then trotted off with Big Mac to get a towel. Applejack snorted, then walked over to Mr. Darcy, who watched Rarity leave from across the room. "What is with the mares in that family?" Applejack asked. "Do those fools want to catch their death of cold?"

"...Very attractive," Mr. Darcy muttered.

"What?" Applejack said loudly.

Mr. Darcy shook his head. "Sorry, I was lost in thought for a moment there," he said. "What did you say, Miss Applejack?"

"You were makin' goo-goo eyes at that mare!" Applejack accused.

"I was not!" Mr. Darcy said. "I would never pay attention to a mare with such a bold attitude and...passionate devotion to her family and...long silky hair which reaches to the ground..."

Applejack snorted. "Typical stallion," she said. "A mare comes in, looking like a tramp, and all of a sudden, she has your complete attention. I'll have you know that's the mare you refused to dance with last night."

"The—what?" Mr. Darcy asked. "No, you misunderstand. The mare I refused to dance with was that plain-looking unicorn with the purple mane and—"

He paused. Miss Bennet did look a good deal like the mare who had just left the room. If she was the same mare he had declined to dance with...

"I...how do you know about that?" Mr. Darcy asked. "I didn't tell anyone, besides your brother."

"Shucks, everypony knows," Applejack said. "The story of you turning her down was the biggest gossip of the party."

Mr. Darcy gulped. "Oh, dear," he said.

Fluttershy was lying in a bed with thick covers, despite her complaints that it felt too warm. Rarity flung herself over her ailing sister's body, while Mr. Macintosh stood nearby in sober silence.

"Fluttershy, don't die!" Rarity sobbed. "You have too much to live for!"

"I...I'll be fine," Fluttershy said with a weak smile. She coughed heavily.

Rarity brushed her sister's hair aside. "Are you all right? Do you need water? An extra pillow?"

Fluttershy coughed some more. "I just...I need rest..."

"Your constitution is too delicate for a struggle like this," Rarity said. "If only we could afford a doctor! A thousand curses upon Collins!"

"Er...what?" Big Macintosh asked.

Rarity explained. Their father's estate made about a quarter of a million bits per year. Since Equestrian law favored male inheritors, and all of the Bennet children were female, most of the family's money went to an unknown cousin named Mr. Collins.

"That slime Collins took advantage of a legal loophole!" Rarity said angrily. "I don't care if there are fewer stallions than mares! That doesn't mean they should get preferential treatment! He's been stealing our money for years, even though he's just a colt!"

"That doesn't seem fair at all," Big Macintosh agreed. He shuffled towards the doorway.

"Where are you going?" Rarity asked.

"To get a doctor," he said. "Since y'all can't afford one, I'll pay for it. I don't want to see Fluttershy sick any more'n you do."

Rarity was struck by Mr. Macintosh's generosity towards a girl he had only met the night before. "That...that's very kind of you," she said.

"It's the least I can do," Big Mac said. "I'm the reason she was walking in the rain, after all." He nodded, then left the room.

"You know, Fluttershy..." Rarity said softly. "Maybe you have a chance of marrying Mr. Macintosh after all."

Fluttershy coughed.

Author's Note

I actually did the math for the value of the Bennet estate. In the book, Mr. Bennet makes 2,000 pounds per year. 2,000 pounds in 1810 equals 67,920 pounds in 2005. At that time, the pound was worth about 1.8 US dollars, which means that Mr. Bennet's estate generates $123,458.18 US dollars a year. If a bit is 50 cents, as some people theorize, that means the Bennets make about a quarter million bits per year. Not bad!

Chapter 6

"Applebloom, you need to clean up your room," Applejack ordered her sister. "Miss Rarity is going to be using it tonight."

"Whaaaat?" Applebloom whined. "Why?"

"She says that she can't go home, until her sister is better," Applejack said. "Load of hogwash, if you ask me. It's not like she's gonna do something to take away the cold."

"I think the affection she shows for her sister is very pleasing," Mr. Darcy said.

"Don't pay any attention to him," Applejack said. "He's only saying that because he thinks she's pretty."

"Pretty rude," Applebloom said. "I'm getting kicked outta my room by some stranger pony? It's not fair!"

"Well, life ain't fair," Applejack said. "And your brother won't listen to sense, because he thinks Miss Fluttershy is pretty. I swear, stallions must have a disease where their brains disappear whenever there's a mare around."

"I take offense at that remark," Mr. Darcy said.

"Then ask yourself this, Mr. Fancypants," Applejack said. "What would you do, if your sister acted like Miss Bennet? Running five miles in the rain?"

"That...would be foolish," Mr. Darcy said.

"Eeyup," Applebloom said. "So where am I gonna sleep tonight?"

"You'll be with me," Applejack said. "Unless somepony else decides to spend the night here. How many guest rooms do ponies think there are on a farmhouse?"

The sisters continued talking for some time, until Big Macintosh stepped into the sitting-room with news. "The doctor says it'll take a few days, but Miss Fluttershy should be fine," he announced.

"Great!" Applebloom said. She was pleased, because it meant she would get her room back all the sooner.

"That's good news," Applejack said.

Mr. Darcy smirked at Applejack. "So you're concerned about Miss Fluttershy's health now?"

"Always have been," Applejack said. "Her sister might not be too bright, but Fluttershy's certainly a sweet girl. I wish with all my heart that she was well settled in life, but with such low connections as her father and mother can provide, I am afraid there is no chance of it."

"Sweetie Belle told me they have a rich uncle somewhere," Applebloom said.

"Oh, I'm sure they have a rich uncle," Applejack said. "Where does he live? Dreamland? Cheapville?"

"If all their relatives lived in Cheapville," cried Mr. Macintosh, "it would not make them one jot less agreeable."

"But it certainly must lessen their chances of marrying stallions of any consideration in the world," Mr. Darcy said, frowning slightly.

Following the doctor's appearance, Fluttershy's health was much improved. She could not leave the bedroom, but the care and attention that Mr. Macintosh lavished upon her made the cold much less dreadful to deal with.

The Bennet family visited the next day, to look after Fluttershy's health. Mrs. Bennet was notably absent from the group. Since they did not want to overwhelm Fluttershy by all visiting her at once, they went to see her in pairs.

While Rainbow Dash and Mr. Bennet visited Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie started up a game of loo in the sitting-room with the others. Rarity, who had enough of the Bingley sisters' company for one day, decided to avoid the card game by reading a book by herself in the corner of the room. Much to her dismay, she soon found that a certain pony was paying more attention to her than the cards.

"Mr. Darcy, I should think that watching me read would not be such an interesting subject to a worldly stallion such as yourself," Rarity said.

"I apologize," Mr. Darcy said. "I was lost in thought. My gaze was not intently directed at you, Miss Rarity."

"Do you often make a habit of doing things you do not intend?" Rarity asked.

Mr. Darcy adjusted his monocle. "I do not," Mr. Darcy said. "I have spent my entire life, avoiding the weaknesses which expose one to ridicule."

"Such as pride and vanity, no doubt," Rarity said.

"Vanity is a weakness, but pride is not," Mr. Darcy said. "Where there is superiority of mind, pride will always be under good regulation."

Rarity turned away to hide a smile. If Mr. Darcy considered himself to be of a superior mind which excluded pride, his life's work was wasted.

"Are you two quite done, then?" Applejack asked, irritated. "It's Darcy's turn."

"Yes, I understand his character now," Rarity said. "Mr. Darcy is absolutely perfect, with no flaws whatsoever. He says so himself."

"I made no such pretension," Mr. Darcy said. "I dare not vouch for my temper. But flaws are inevitable in any pony, for there is a defect in every disposition."

"Yes, and your disposition is to hate everybody," Rarity said.

"And yours must be to willfully misunderstand everyone," Darcy said, smiling.

Back in the real world, Sweetie Belle interrupted her older sister.

"Rarity, is anything going to happen in this story?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Rarity put down her copy of Pride and Prejudice. "What are you saying? It's been fascinating so far!"

"For the past ten minutes, all they've done is talk to each other!" Sweetie Belle complained. "When is it going to be back to the good stuff?"

Rarity sighed, then skipped ahead five chapters in the book.

Mr. Macintosh and Mr. Bennet came down the stairs, laughing like old friends. "Girls, time to go!" Mr. Bennet said.

The girls lined up, and Mr. Macintosh smiled. "I must compliment you on your family," said he. "I am constantly amazed at how accomplished all young ladies are."

"All young ladies, accomplished?" Mr. Bennet smiled. "I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh, it's certainly true," Mr. Macintosh said. "They are all so talented and intelligent. I feel overwhelmed merely talking to one lady, much less five."

"Nonsense," Mr. Darcy said. "That is a matter of exaggeration. In my life, I have not know more than a half-dozen mares who are really accomplished."

"Then you must expect too much out of mares," Rarity said.

"Hardy," Mr. Darcy said. "I believe that no pony can be accomplished, unless she knows singing, music, drawing, dancing and the modern languages. Unicorns must know a wide variety of magic, pegasi must know how to fly, and ponies of all types should be avid readers."

"That's quite a list of accomplishments," Mr. Bennet said.

"Indeed," Rarity said. "With such requirements, I find it astonishing that you know any accomplished mares. But I sincerely doubt you believe anyone besides yourself to be accomplished. Good day, Mr. Dercy."

Dercy? Darcy wondered, as the Bennet Family left the house. Applejack walked over to Mr. Darcy and put her hoof on his shoulder.

"Tough luck, lover boy," Applejack said. "But in case you couldn't tell, she doesn't like you very much."

"The feeling is mutual!" Mr. Darcy insisted.

"Sure, just keep telling yourself that," Applejack said.

"Now, AJ, don't tease my best friend," Big Macintosh said. He put his arm around Mr. Darcy. "If you like Miss Rarity so much, maybe I could convince Fluttershy to put in a good word for you."

"Augh!" Mr. Darcy cried, throwing off the Bingley siblings.

Author's Note

Having to skip ahead five chapters in _Pride and Prejudice_, to get to a part where they do something other than talk? True story.

Chapter 7

It was four days, before Fluttershy was well enough to travel home. Her sisters all went to Sweet Apple Acres to pick her up, and they were happy to see her out of bed and walking around.

"Thank you for your hospitality," Fluttershy said before leaving.

"It was my pleasure," Mr. Macintosh said. "Just try not to get sick again, okay?"

Fluttershy furtively looked left and right, then kissed Mr. Macintosh on the cheek. "Thanks again," she said.

"Eeee...yup," Mr. Macintosh said. He was too stunned to say anything else.

Fluttershy giggled slightly. Mr. Darcy frowned at her forward manner, and his eyes unconsciously drifted towards Rarity. Disgust covered her face, when she realized he was staring at her again.

Why does he keep looking at me? she wondered. He made it quite clear at the dance that he hates me, and the feeling is mutual.

"All right, that's enough of that," Applejack said, stepping forward and shooing the Bennets out the door. "Y'all have a safe trip home, now!"

"Bye, Sweetie Belle!" Applebloom said.

Fluttershy let out a cry of delight as the group walked off of the farm. "It's so nice to be outside again!" she said.

"Sure, that's why you're smiling," Rainbow Dash said, winking. "It has nothing to do with Big Mac."

"He was so kind and friendly while I was sick!" Fluttershy said. "Oh! But don't tell Mother! She'll get...you know..."

"Super obsessive and start buying wedding dresses?" Pinkie Pie suggested.

"I won't say anything!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Me neither," Rarity said.

"Actually..." Fluttershy said. "Um...I didn't want to say anything before, but...why didn't Mom come to visit me?"

Rarity frowned. "Mother and Father are...they..."

"He hasn't spoken to her in days," Rainbow Dash said. "He stopped talking to her once you got sick."

"Oh, dear," Fluttershy said. "I don't want them to fight because of me..."

Fluttershy's worries were dispelled, when the front door to the Carousel Boutique was opened. Inside the main room, the Bennet parents were running around the room and giggling like foals.

"Can't catch me! Can't catch me!" Mr. Bennet sang.

"Hold still, you slippery eel!" Mrs. Bennet said. She tackled her husband and smothered him with kisses. He grabbed her head and pulled her in closer for a deeper kiss.

"Ew!" Sweetie Belle said. "Grown-up love!"

Rainbow Dash covered Sweetie Belle's eyes.

"Um...hello?" Fluttershy called. "We're back!"

The two parents got up quickly from the ground, where they had been rolling around. Smoothing down his shirt, Mr. Bennet said, "Girls! We weren't expecting you back so soon!"

"Clearly," Rarity said dryly.

Mrs. Bennet enveloped Fluttershy in a large hug. "Oh, my darling! It's such a joy to see you again! I hope your half-week with Mr. Bingley was productive!"

"I...um..."

"I am sure nothing inappropriate happened," Rainbow Dash said. She put on a fake accent, imitating Rarity's voice. "Unlike some mares, Fluttershy does not run around houses, playing chase with stallions!"

Mrs. Bennet blushed. "Your father and I are married! It's perfectly natural for us to act like..."

"Teenagers?" Pinkie Pie asked. "And you're always telling me that I need to grow up and act like an adult! For shame!"

"Yes, well, your mother and I have patched things up," Mr. Bennet said. "In any event, I have some news for all of you girls. I received a letter in the mail, which says we are having a dinner guest tonight."

"A dinner guest? Who?"

Mr. Bennet smiled. "He is both a gentleman and a stranger."

"Mr. Bingley, I am sure!" Mrs. Bennet said. "We will have to set up extra food for him! The best way to a stallion's heart is through his stomach!"

"It is not Mr. Bingley," said her husband. "It is a pony whom I never saw in my whole life."

"Just tell us who it is already!" Sweetie Belle said.

"You girls have no appreciation from dramatic revelations," Mr. Bennet sighed. "The guest is our cousin, Mr. Collins."

"The stallion who is stealing the entire estate from under our muzzles?" Mrs. Bennet asked. "I shall have nothing to do with him!"

"Your opinion may change, when you read the letter he sent," Mr. Bennet said. He gave the letter to Fluttershy, to read out loud.

"Hunstrod, near Trotterham, Kent. 15th January.

Dear Mr. Bennet,

The disagreement between yourself and my late father always bothered me. Now that my father is no longer with us, I see no reason for me to continue his campaign against your family.

Specifically, I wish to alleviate your concerns about my inheritance of the Longhorn Estate. It is my most earnest desire to repair our broken family, by making amends to you and your lovely daughters. I assure you that there is a special way in which I alone can please them, but more on that later.

I have recently gained a distinguished patron, the Right Honorable Lady Chrysalis de Bourgh. She is a most wonderful mare, the like of which I have not met elsewhere. She has graciously granted me the opportunity to go on holiday for a fortnight, and as my travels will take me near Ponyville, I immediately thought of you.

If you should have no objection to receiving me into your house, I request the satisfaction of meeting you and your family. I shall arrive on Monday, February 18th, by four o'clock.

I remain, dear sir,

With respectful compliments to your lady and daughters,

Your well-wisher and friend,

SPIKE COLLINS

PS. I'm a dragon."

"Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaat?" Mrs. Bennet yelled. The other Bennets soon burst forth with their own thoughts and feelings on the letter.

"Who is this Lady Chrysalis?"

"What does he mean by pleasing us?"

"A dragon?"

"I hope he talks less than he writes."

"We can give him a new pony party!"

Spike was true to his letter. At precisely four o'clock, he knocked on the door of Carousel Boutique and was received into the house. He was still a young dragon, but he spoke with much ease and at great length.

"I have come here to make amends," Spike said. "It would be wonderful if our two families were to be...united, if you know what I mean."

"What does he mean?" Rainbow Dash whispered to Rarity.

"I have no idea," Rarity whispered back.

"I had heard much of the beauty of your daughters, but in this case, the rumors have fallen short of the truth," Spike said. His eye lingered on Rarity. "I daresay, I have not seen such lovely young women in all my life."

"Um...thank you?" Rarity said, a little uncomfortable.

"Did I mention that, by dragon laws, I'm old enough to be married?" Spike said. "And by most fortunate coincidence, your three eldest daughters are of marrying age as well."

"Why, yes!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Fluttershy has had great success with her newest suitor. In fact, I would be surprised if she does not get a proposal within a few weeks."

Fluttershy blushed and mumbled something about Big Macintosh.

"Congratulations," Spike said. "I hope that one of your other daughters will soon get a proposal as well." He winked at Rainbow Dash.

It soon became apparent that Spike had come to the Bennet family with a wife in view, as he meant to choose one of the daughters, if he found them as pretty and amiable as he had heard. Marriage was his plan of amends for inheriting their father's estate, and he thought it was an excellent one, full of eligibility and suitableness, as well as excessively generous on his part.

The Bennet girls, however, could not disagree more. Even Pinkie Pie, who usually enjoyed outlandish things, had no pleasure in considering a relationship with a dragon or a cousin, much less both. Though dragons age differently than ponies, the age difference between Spike and the others seemed an insurmountable challenge.

The challenge became all the greater, as they learned more about Spike himself. He enjoyed talking to no end, and he particularly enjoyed brown-nosing other ponies. Indeed, this was how he had received the patronage of Lady Catherine. His other qualities were less than commendable; he was he was childish, lacking in focus, easily excited, and he made miserable attempts to flirt with the Bennet daughters.

Mr. Bennet disliked him almost immediately. Meeting Spike only confirmed the notion that he did not deserve to inherit the Bennet property. Mrs. Bennet's feelings were the exact opposite of those of her husband. She was elated to have a suitor who wished to marry one of her daughters! A marriage would not only make one of her daughters happy, but it would ensure that the Bennet property stayed with the Bennet family! There was no way that this courtship could end poorly!

Emboldened by Mrs. Bennet's promptings, Spike asked to speak to one of the daughters privately, before dinner. Much to Rarity's dismay, he chose her.

"Rarity, was it?" Spike asked. "You are quite beautiful."

"Thank you, Cousin," Rarity said. She nervously eyed the exit.

"So...have you ever kissed a dragon?" Spike asked. His eyebrows wiggled expectantly.

Rarity ran out of the room as quickly as possible.

"She's feisty," Spike said to himself. "I like her already."

Chapter 8

Pinkie Pie trotted into the girls room and removed her traveling coat.

"It's done," she announced. "Spike's 'Welcome to Ponyville Party' is all set for tomorrow night, at Luna's Lodge."

"Great," Rarity said. "Maybe he can find another pony to obsess over, and leave me alone."

"He's not so bad," Fluttershy said.

"He doesn't have a crush on you!" Rarity said. "He's been following me around for two days now, whining about pointless things in his nasally voice!"

"Don't worry, I invited lots of mares to his party," Pinkie said. "And stallions! You should have seen Shining Armor in his uniform! He's so cuuuute!"

"You think every stallion in the Royal Guard is cute," Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.

"Can I help it if those uniforms are the most attractive things I've ever seen?" Pinkie asked. "Next to Rarity's summer line of dresses, of course."

"Am I invited, or is this another adults-only party?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Of course you can come, squirt!" Pinkie said, rubbing her sister's hair. "Your friend Applebloom'll be there. I invited her family and Mr. Darcy yesterday."

"Big Macintosh is going to be there?" Fluttershy asked. "Oh...oh my!"

Rarity groaned. "Did you have to invite Mr. Darcy?" she asked. "He's even worse than Spike!"

"I know," Rainbow Dash said. "Yesterday, he lectured me for an hour on a gem pizza he ate two years ago. I think he only likes you for your gems, Rare."

Rarity threw herself on her bad. "Well, at least tell me that—"

"Sorry, Mom's gonna be there, too!"

"Ugh!" Rarity shouted into her pillow. A week ago, her mother hated Spike for taking the family inheritance. Now that he intended to marry one of the Bennet girls, she was Spike's biggest supporter. Mrs. Bennet was always forcing Rarity to sit next to Spike at mealtimes, and she forbade Rarity from leaving the room when Spike told one of his long, pointless stories.

Spike's party was held at Luna Lodge, named after its owner, Lady Luna. Lady Luna was the closest thing Ponyville had to royalty; she had been given her title by Queen Celestia herself. Lady Luna was quite wealthy, due to the military achievements of her husband in the war against Prance.

Lady Luna's greatest joy in life was playing matchmaker for ponies in town, especially with her two children, Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. Needless to say, Lady Luna and Mrs. Bennet were good friends. At the start of the party, the two of them practically shoved Fluttershy into Mr. Bingley's arms.

Rarity tried to hide herself in a corner to avoid everypony, but her best—and only—unicorn friend quickly found her.

"Hello, Rarity," Twilight said. "How goes it?"

"Twilight! You're not wearing the dress I made for you!"

"Oh, I'm saving it for the Netherfield Ball on Tuesday," Twilight said. "I heard this party was for one of your relatives. Who?"

"Spike Collins," Rarity said. "He's never visited us before now, and I honestly wish things had stayed that way."

"Is he that bad?" Twilight asked.

"He's worse," Rarity said. "He keeps trying to court me because I am, quote, 'one smokin' hot mamma with a dynamite flank'."

"Ouch," Twilight said. "How is he related to you, again?"

"We're cousins," Rarity said. "On my father's side. I think we might be half-cousins, actually."

Their conversation was interrupted by the dragon himself. Spike, of course, wanted to spend some time with Rarity, so he walked over, twirling his bow tie. "Laaaadies," he said. "It's your lucky night! You get to hang out with the Spike-meister!"

Rarity looked as if somepony had stepped in something smelly.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle," Twilight said. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," Spike said, smiling in what he thought was a seductive way. In reality, it looked like he had stomach cramps. "I'm sure you've noticed by now that I work out regularly. Every day, I do at least four sit-ups!"

He was, of course, counting "getting out bed" and "leaving his chair after mealtime" as a sit-up.

"Uh...yeah," Twilight said. She was a little disgusted when she saw a food stain on Spike's fat little tummy.

"Rarity and I are getting really close," Spike said, wrapping his claw around Rarity's leg. "She's really pretty, and I'm...me! We must be the best looking ponies in town!"

"You're not a pony," Rarity said curtly. "And please, don't touch my leg."

"Where do you want me to touch you, Babe?" Spike asked.

Rarity grit her teeth and tried to calm herself down by imagining what it would be like to slap Spike.

"Piano!" Twilight blurted out.

"Huh?"

"Rarity and I were about to play the piano," Twilight said, nudging her friend. "Sorry to cut the conversation short, but duty calls!"

"Oh, yes!" Rarity said. "Play we must!"

Spike pouted as the two mares walked away to the other side of the room. Rarity complimented Twilight on her quick thinking, and the two of them played some small songs together.

Rarity's performance was pleasing, though by no means capital. Neither she nor Twilight had very good voices; usually, they had somepony else sing in their places. A few ponies gathered to hear the music, most surprisingly, Mr. Darcy. For a brief moment, Rarity saw an admiring look on Mr. Darcy's face as he watched the two friends. The instant he saw she was looking him him, he frowned, turned away and wandered off quickly.

What is he up to? Rarity wondered.

Pinkie Pie took Rarity's place at the piano, and she played some jaunty music for the ponies to dance to. Rarity made it a point to avoid the dance floor, although her friend Twilight went in search of a dance partner. Twilight soon found herself at the mercy of Spike, who unsurprisingly had been unable to find a partner himself.

After some time, the hostess of the party came to the area. "Good evening, Fair Rarity," Lady Luna said. "Your sister looks quite happy with him, does she not?"

Rarity glanced at the dance floor. Fluttershy was dancing very close to Big Macintosh, with a dreamy look on her face.

"They certainly do," Rarity said. "I have not seen Fluttershy dance this much since...well, ever."

"Fluttershy? Nay!" Lady Luna said. "I speak of thy sister Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash was with a muscle-bound white pegasus. He looked like he was shouting something enthusiastically. Rainbow Dash shouted right back in his face.

"Er...they seem...emotional," Rarity said.

"Yes, the emotions have been doubled!" Lady Luna said, clapping her hooves together. "Young love is wonderful, is it not? And I have heard that you, in particular, have no less than two stallions vying for thine affections. Perhaps some of your luck can rub off on my daughter?"

"I must protest," Rarity said. "Indeed, if it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck with the stallions at all."

"Then you deny the rumors?" Luna asked. "They say that Mr. Spike Collins is especially fond of you."

"And I sincerely wish he was not. I could see myself falling for a pegasus or Earth pony, but I assure you that I have no interest in dating a creature of another species."

"A fair point," Luna said. "But what of Mr. Fancypants Darcy? Of all the visitors in town, he is certainly the most charming. Everypony knows he is quite handsome and rich."

"Yes, well, some ponies believe wealth and handsomeness are the same thing," Rarity said dismissively. "Mr. Darcy has been foul to me, ever since I first met him. He has demonstrated no affection for me in the slightest."

"If the rumor I heard from Sweet Apple Acres is true, then he is certainly masking his affections," Lady Luna said. "There is only one way to find out."

Lady Luna left abruptly, and she headed straight for Mr. Darcy. For a moment, Rarity pondered the look she had seen on Mr. Darcy's face, while she was playing piano. Could it be that her music had found an admirer?

Rarity's thoughts were broken off, when Lady Luna returned. She was speaking loudly, with Mr. Darcy at her side. With an air of surprise, she stopped in front of the white unicorn.

"My dear Rarity, why are you not dancing? Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure, when there is so much beauty before you."

Mr. Darcy appeared to be extremely surprised at this, though not unwilling. He held out his hoof for Rarity to take, when she instantly drew back with some discomposure, and said, "Indeed, I have not the least intention of dancing. I entreat you not to suppose that I was standing here alone, in order to beg for a partner."

Lady Luna frowned at the objection. "You excel so much in the dance, Miss Rarity, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you. And though this gentlecolt dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half-hour."

"Yes, Mr. Darcy is all politeness," Rarity said dryly.

"He is, indeed, but considering the inducement, my dear Rarity, we cannot wonder at his complaisance—for who would object to such a partner?"

"I would," Rarity said. She arched her eyebrows, then turned away. Lady Luna was much disappointed at this, but, as is often the case with stallions, Mr. Darcy's opinion of Rarity was not injured in the slightest, after being rejected.

Chapter 9

The following day, Mrs. Bennet offered to take Pinkie Pie into town for some shopping. Sweetie Belle begged to go along, and when Rarity heard Spike would remain at home, she asked to join the party.

Mrs. Bennet was reluctant to let Sweetie Belle and Rarity accompany her and Pinkie Pie, and the reason for this soon became apparent. They were no more than two minutes away from home, when the group encountered Shining Armor. Mrs. Bennet promptly fainted.

"Oh, dear me!" Mrs. Bennet said. "I am dizzy today!"

"We can take you home," Rarity said.

"NO!" Mrs. Bennet shouted. "I mean, ahem, I do not wish to spoil Pinkie's trip. If only there were a handsome stallion who could serve as her guardian!"

She looked pointedly at Shining Armor, who adjusted his uniform. "I could watch over your daughters," he offered.

"Such a gentleman!" Mrs. Bennet said.

"It's no real bother," Shining said. "I was actually on my way to meet a friend in town."

Mrs. Bennet heartily thanked Shining Armor and told him to keep a very close eye on Pinkie Pie. As she left for home, Mrs. Bennet whispered to Rarity, "Don't ruin your sister's chances." Rarity groaned.

Once Mrs. Bennet was gone, Pinkie Pie sidled up next to Shining Armor. In a happy voice voice, Pinkie said, "So...Shining. Mom said that you like pink ponies!"

"I do," Shining Armor said, taking a step away from Pinkie. "My fiancee, Cadance, is pink."

"Oh," Pinkie Pie said, disappointed. "I didn't know you were engaged." Under her breath, she muttered, "Figures."

"The wedding is going to be in the spring," Shining said. "I'm sure Twilight will want me to invite all of you to come."

"Can I be the flower filly?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Sure!" Shining Armor said.

"Yay!" Sweetie Belle said. She started bouncing with happiness, like her older sister Pinkie usually did.

As the group walked towards town, they chatted about various things. Shining Armor explained that Victorian's Secret, the stallions-only clothing store in Ponyville, was having a large sale that day. Indeed, there seemed to be more stallions walking around town than usual. This, Rarity supposed, was the reason her mother wanted her daughters outside.

Shining Armor apologized, when they reached a store known as Snowflake's Saddles. This was the scheduled location for him to meet up with his friend. They explored the shop for a few minutes until Shining's friend appeared.

Rarity's jaw dropped as she saw Shining's friend approach. He was definitely worth the wait. The stallion's appearance was greatly in his favor; he had all the best part of beauty, a good figure and very pleasing address. He smiled greatly as he was introduced to the ladies.

"Good day," said he, "I am Mr. Wickham."

Rarity let out a giggle, as he kissed her hoof. Why can't I have suitors like this stallion, instead of suitors like Spike? she wondered.

Mr. Wickham was a unicorn from the Canterlot area, which is where he met Shining Armor. He claimed to be stopping through town on minor business, although he did not say what sort of business he was involved in. Rarity found him to be a most welcome addition to the party, with his sophisticated air and impressive tone.

As luck would have it, Rarity got to spend a good deal of time, talking with Mr. Wickham, because her two sisters constantly got distracted by shopping. Rarity did not mind this one bit. The more she talked with him, the more she liked him. Unlike many other stallions, he listened attentively when she discussed her fashion and clothing designs.

It was almost as if somepony had reached into Rarity's dreams and found the perfect stallion for her, except...well, there was a curious incident with Mr. Wickham about halfway through the trip.

At this time, the group was going down the road, when in the other direction, they saw Big Macintosh ambling along with his friend, Mr. Darcy. As the two groups grew near, Mr. Darcy caught sight of Rarity and resolutely determined not to fix his eyes upon her. He looked to the left and saw Mr. Wickham.

The effect on both stallions was astonishing. Mr. Darcy's monocle fell off, while Mr. Wickham bit his lip and turned red. He nodded slightly, and Darcy tipped his hat a short distance.

What just happened here? Rarity wondered.

Only Rarity noticed the exchange between the two gentlecolts, because the group's attention was upon Big Macintosh. He earnestly asked how Fluttershy was doing. He was much relieved to hear that she was feeling quite well.

"Do you think she will be going to Netherfield on Tuesday?" he asked.

"Of course!" Sweetie Belle said. "We all are!"

"Yeah, it's going to be great!" Pinkie Pie said.

"I'm sure it will be," Mr. Macintosh said. "Now if you'll excuse us, Darcy and I must be off."

The two of them left, and Rarity saw a hardened glare on Mr. Darcy's face as he passed. She turned to Wickham, whose face was blank and inscrutable. After a few seconds, he shook his head.

"Netherfield," Mr. Wickham said. "Isn't that a few towns over? Why would Mr. Macintosh want to know about that?"

"The Netherfield Ball is on Tuesday," Shining said. "It's a big event around here."

"A ball?" Mr. Wickham asked.

"It's a great party!" Pinkie Pie said. "Almost everypony attends! And it's fun meeting all the ponies who live in Netherfield!"

"I would like to go myself, but alas, I do not have an escort," Rarity said. She fluttered her eyelashes at Mr. Wickham. "It does seem like it would be a lovely time."

He smiled gently. "As long as you are there, Miss Rarity, I am sure the ball cannot be anything other than lovely. I would be honored to escort you."

Rarity smiled genuinely, the strange moment between Wickham and Darcy forgotten. "That is most kind of you, Mr. Wickham!"

"Please," he said, gazing into Rarity's eyes. "Call me Blueblood."

Author's Note

Rarity has a date to the Netherfield Ball! I sure hope Mr. Blueblood does not turn out to be a scoundrel.

Chapter 10

Rarity stayed close by Blueblood for the rest of the trip, but they didn't get another chance to speak to each other until Pinkie accidentally knocked over a shelf at the bookstore. Sweetie and Shining moved in to help clean up the mess, while Rarity and Blueblood stayed back.

"Your sister has a tremendous amount of energy," Blueblood said. "I find such passion for life to be charming."

"Yes, well, sometimes Pinkie's boundless enthusiasm gets her in trouble," Rarity said.

Blueblood smiled and ran a hoof through his long blonde hair.

"Mr. Blueblood, I don't wish to pry into your private affairs, but...I saw your reaction when we met Mr. Darcy earlier," Rarity said. "Do you two know each other?"

"Ah," Blueblood said, his face falling. "Yes, in fact, the two of us grew up together."

Rarity was greatly astonished at this information, considering the cold exchange between the two. "Then why was he so standoffish towards you? I know he's generally unpleasant and standoffish to everypony, but to treat a foalhood friend that way!"

"The two of us had a falling out," Blueblood said. "I would explain, but I...I do not wish to damage his reputation."

"I can assure you that Mr. Darcy's reputation in Ponyville cannot be worse than it already is," Rarity said. "The stallion is prejudiced against Earth ponies, and his unbearable pride causes him to treat other ponies as lesser beings. You could not find a single pony in town who could say a good word about him."

Blueblood nodded. "Sadly, that sounds just like him. He was always a bit spiteful towards others, even when he was a foal. I believe that he was secretly jealous of my relationship with his father. My father died when I was very young, you see, and the late Mr. Darcy practically raised me as his second son."

"The late Mr. Darcy?" Rarity asked. She found the interest of the subject increasing, and she listened with all her heart. "I take it he is no longer among the living?"

"He died two years ago," Blueblood said. "It was quite a tragedy. Mr. Darcy was one of the best stallions that ever breathed, and the truest friend I ever had. It is a shame his son is his exact opposite, in this regard. It is his fault I am here, you know."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"The senior Darcy left me an inheritance to provide for me," Blueblood said. "Nothing too fancy, just a small house in the country. But when the house became empty and I prepared to move there, Mr. Darcy stepped in. He asserted that I had forfeited all claim to my inheritance due to misbehavior, though I had done nothing wrong. Left without a home, I was forced to join the Royal Guard."

"How awful!" Rarity said. "This is quite shocking! He deserves to be publicly disgraced."

"Since he is a lawyer, and I am not, I can do nothing," Blueblood said. "Out of respect for his departed father, I have not made the affair public. But still, I would highly advise you to never trust that stallion. He is cruel, petty and underhanded."

"There is no need to warn me against creating ties with that stallion," Rarity said. "I have hated him since the moment I first met him, but this, this is practically intolerable! To ruin a pony's life for no reason!"

"Yes, it is a cruel situation," Blueblood said sadly. "I sometimes wonder what my life would be like, if things had turned out differently."

"You poor, poor darling," Rarity said, running her hoof down the side of Blueblood's face. "I wish there was some way I could make things better!"

"I already feel better, being with you," Blueblood said. "Your radiant beauty and refined manner are all the consolation I need."

Rarity blushed, and Blueblood stole a kiss from her. The two of them smiled at each other for a moment, and she leaned in to kiss him again, when they were interrupted by a large gasp.

"Rarity!" Sweetie Belle said. "How could you—I'm telling Mom!"

Sweetie Belle did indeed tell Mrs. Bennet about Rarity kissing a stallion she had just met. A heated argument about the situation soon took place in Mr. Bennet's study.

"This is the most scandalous thing I've ever heard of!" Mrs. Bennet scolded. "I can't believe one of my daughters is acting like a two-bit trollop! How could you kiss a complete stranger like that?!"

"He's not a bad pony!" Rarity said.

"I don't care if he's Queen Celestia's nephew!" Mrs. Bennet said. "You shouldn't be running around town with strangers, especially when you already have a suitor in Spike! What if he hears about this and decides not to pursue you?"

"Good! I don't want to marry Spike!" Rarity said. "He's immature, he eats like a pig, and besides, he's too short!"

"Not to mention he ate my prized gemstone cufflinks," Mr. Bennet said. "Do you know how much those cost?"

"Now's not the time for your jokes!" Mrs. Bennet said harshly to her husband. She turned on Rarity. "It's a good thing nopony besides Sweetie Belle saw, or you would be the disgrace of the entire town! I have half a mind to forbid you from going to the Netherfield Ball!"

"But I have to go to Netherfield!" Rarity said. "It took me two months to make my dress, and besides, Mr. Blueblood promised he'd take me!"

"He is not!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Your lovely cousin Spike is going to take you, and that is that!"

"That's not fair!" Rarity said. "You're always interfering with my life! I wish you'd leave me alone and let me make my own decisions! Yes, I met a handsome and nice pony today, and I decided to kiss him! Is that the end of the world? No! The only pony who has a problem with it is you, because you want to control everything your daughters do!"

"I wouldn't have to control your behavior, if you didn't misbehave so often!" Mrs. Bennet shot back. "You disobedient—"

"—Interfering old nag of a—"

"—Nopony is fooled by your fake accent—"

"—Hairstyle which was out of date when you were young—"

"—Petty, high-maintenance whiner!"

Mr. Bennet put his hooves in his ears and moaned. "Stop yelling, you two! Do you want everypony in the house to hear?"

"We can hear you just fine!" a muffled voice said from outside.

"Pinkie, stop listening at the door," Mr. Bennet said.

"Awww..." Pinkie said. There was the sound of shuffling hooves at the door.

"Rainbow, you should go away, too," Mr. Bennet added.

"How did he know I was there?" Rainbow's voice asked. She, too, left her hiding place in the hallway.

"Now then," Mr. Bennet said. "As far as I can tell, you are both correct. Rarity, you acted improperly today. You should not be romantically involved with a stallion, before introducing him to your parents."

"I apologize for my impropriety," Rarity said lowly.

"...Which is why you'll have to ask him to come here first, before he takes you to the Netherfield Ball," Mr. Bennet said. His wife gasped at this. "If he meets with our approval, the two of you can go together. Until then, you are forbidden from seeing Mr. Blueblood. Is that fair?"

"It is not! What about Spike?" Mrs. Bennet asked indignantly.

"Oh, let him court Rainbow Dash, if he must," Mr. Bennet said. "Something tells me he's not very picky when it comes to mares. Or observant, for that matter."

"Father, thank you!" Rarity cried.

Mrs. Bennet scoffed. "I am displeased with this arrangement."

"My decision is final," Mr. Bennet said firmly. "Now before you two leave, I want you to hug each other and put this mess behind you."

"Do we have to?" Rarity asked, scrunching her face a bit. "I'm not a little foal anymore."

"Yes, you do," Mr. Bennet said. "It's the pony way of settling disputes."

Rarity reluctantly wrapped her arms around her mother. "I love you, Mother," she said.

"I love you, too," she said. "Even though sometimes you—"

"End that sentence there," Mr. Bennet interrupted.

"Right. I love you," Mrs. Bennet said. She squeezed her daughter extra-hard. "Just try to behave a little better in the future, okay?"

Chapter 11

Rarity was not allowed to leave the house, until the night of the Netherfield Ball. She was unhappy about this arrangement, but her cousin Spike was quite pleased because it allowed him to spend more time with her. In his mind, the two of them were getting closer and closer to the wonderful day when their hearts and fortunes would be forever joined in blissful union.

In Rarity's mind, however, the two of them were getting closer and closer to the wonderful day when she finally smacked him upside the head and told him to look for somepony his own age. And species. And preferably somepony not directly related to him.

The only thing which entertained Rarity in the following few days was the company of her sisters, which she used to exhaust the topic of Mr. Darcy's misdeeds against Blueblood. Rainbow Dash thought it was enough reason to run Mr. Darcy out of town. Fluttershy, for her part, fell upon her characteristic kindness and refused to think evil of anypony; she insisted that there must have been a misunderstanding somewhere.

It was exceptionally rainy that weekend, which put none of the girls in particularly good mood. Rarity spent most of her time putting the finishing touches on her sisters' dresses, and daydreaming about how nice it would be to dance with Mr. Blueblood. Alas, Rarity's fantasy of entertainment and romance was dashed, when her dream stallion failed to make his appearance.

"I don't understand," Rarity said, checking the clock again. "It's well past 4:30! He should be here by now!"

"Maybe he got lost," Sweetie Belle said.

"My letter was very specific!" Rarity said. "He promised to be my escort tonight! Where is he?"

"Obviously, he is a lying scoundrel," Mrs. Bennet said. "I told you right from the beginning I never liked that stallion!"

"You haven't met him yet," Mr. Bennet said.

"That doesn't matter! Any stallion who kisses one of my daughters without my permission is a scoundrel!"

"I didn't know that Rarity's lips need a formal letter of introduction," Mr. Bennet said dryly.

"Not helping! Not helping!" Rarity said, practically dancing on her antsy hooves. Pinkie Pie, thinking this was some sort of game, starting imitating Rarity's movements.

In the corner, Spike was trying hard not to smirk. He had made a few, shall we say, adjustments to Rarity's letter to Blueblood when he delivered it through his flame-breath, and it seemed that his efforts were paying off handsomely. Almost as handsome as I am in this suit... he thought.

Finally, there was a knock on the door at 4:58. With a huge sigh of "finally!", Rarity opened the door to find Shining Armor, dressed in full regalia.

"Hey, everypony," Shining said. "Twilight's waiting in the carriage. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie said.

"I suppose it is time to leave," Mr. Bennet said.

"But...but...where's Mr. Blueblood?" Rarity asked.

"Didn't he tell you?" Shining asked, a tad confused. "He's not coming with us to the ball tonight. He told the Royal Guard that he had to leave for Rosings this week, due to urgent business. He left yesterday."

"WHAT?"

"It was kind of weird, actually," Shining said. "I dunno. I got the sense he didn't want to go, because he's avoiding somepony."

"Darcy," Rarity said under her breath.

"Well, this is great news!" Spike said, suddenly appearing at Rarity's shoulder. The small dragon was wearing a top hat and a false mustache, to make himself look more cultured. "If Blueblood isn't here, then I can be the first to dance with you, Rarity!"

"Er...perfect," Rarity said.

The ponies all filed out the door and into the carriage. Mr. Bennet stopped next to Rarity and put a hoof on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, darling," he said. "I know you were looking forward to being with Mr. Blueblood. If you want to, you can always forego the ball and stay home with me."

"You're not going?" Rarity asked.

"I couldn't leave, when my favorite daughter needs me right now," Mr. Bennet said, smiling down at her.

Rarity smiled weakly and wiped a tear away. "Thank you, Father," she said. "...But you're not getting out of the Netherfield Ball that easily! I heard you promise Mother that you would dance two foxtrots with her tonight! I'm not going to miss that, even if my escort has absconded!"

Mr. Bennet groaned slightly as he and Rarity entered the carriage bound for Netherfield.

For his part, Mr. Darcy was also having an unpleasant evening, leading up to the ball. First, he had somehow gotten dirt all over his dashing derby hat, which he had been planning on wearing. Second, he had discovered that Apple Bloom broke his mustache comb in a bizarre attempt to get a cutie mark. Even worse than these mishaps were his so-called friends, the Apple family.

"Okay, Lover Boy," Applejack said. "You're leaving on Friday, right? So this is your final chance at makin' sweet-talk with that mare."

"I assure you I have no idea what you are talking about," Mr. Darcy said.

"No need to pretend," Big Macintosh said. "Y'all have been mooning over her ever since she came to check up on her sister."

"I do not moon," Mr. Darcy said. "If I have seemed upset, it is because I have been away from home and my sister for so long."

"Hey, Mr. Darcy," Apple Bloom said. "If'n you and Miss Rarity get married, will that make me and Sweetie Belle cousins?"

"Enough with the ridiculous questions!" Mr. Darcy said. "I admit that Rarity Bennet is quite pretty, and her ingrained sense of self-reliance and independence set her far apart from the gold-digging mares I usually encounter in high society. However! This is not cause for romantic entanglement. If it was, I would have long since asked Applejack to dine with me."

"Ah, shucks, you're making me blush," Applejack said.

"But just so you don't get the wrong idea, Macintosh," Mr. Darcy said, "you should know that I intend to use this ball as a means to make a thorough investigation of the Bennet family."

"Checking out your future in-laws?"

"No, rather, yours," Mr. Darcy said. "I heard...an unsavory rumor about Miss Fluttershy Bennet. I hope to determine if it is true or not."

"Aw, well, it's obviously false," Big Macintosh said. "She's such a sweet, purdy gal that I can't imagine she's done anything wrong."

"You are blinded by her beauty," Mr. Darcy said. "You need an objective third party, such as myself, to investigate the matter."

"Heh, well, don't get distracted none by her unicorn sister," Applejack said. "Say, you think if I had long eyelashes like hers, I'd be able to wrangle me a stallion? I heard y'all go hog-wild over a pair of lashes."

"Ooo! I want long eyelashes, too!" Apple Bloom said.

At Netherfield, Rarity danced the first two dances with Spike, which brought a return to her distress. Spike was awkward and fidgety, and he often moved wrong without being aware of it. He gave her all the shame and misery which a disagreeable partner for a couple of dances can give. The moment of her release from him was ecstasy.

Rarity took refuge in her best friend, Twilight. "My hooves!" she cried. "He kept on poking my hooves with those weird clawed things he has!"

"I think they're called 'toes'," Twilight said.

"Whatever they're called, they hurt!" Rarity said. "And the whole time, he kept talking about how romantic it was for him! I swear, the day he goes back to his home up north will be too soon!"

"Aw, Spike's not so bad," Twilight said. "He stopped by the library the other day and volunteered to sort all the books in the non-fiction section for me."

"Did he try to eat all your gems, afterwards, as a payment?" Rarity asked.

"Well...yes," Twilight said.

"Of course he did," Rarity said. "That greedy little dragon has eaten nearly a quarter of my gems! Why, he took my broach, and—"

Rarity was cut off, when a larger white stallion approached her from the side and coughed to get her attention. "Excuse me," Mr. Darcy said. "Miss Bennet, I would like the pleasure of taking your hoof in a dance."

"I—wha—you—"

"Excellent," Darcy said. "When they begin the next cycle, then? I look forward to it."

He walked away quickly, with his head in the air. Rarity's jaw was still dropped.

"What just happened?" Rarity asked.

"I think you just agreed to dance with your sworn enemy," Twilight said.

Chapter 12

At first, Rarity resolved not to talk to Mr. Darcy at all, while they were dancing. As the silence continued and Mr. Darcy made no attempt to speak, Rarity changed her mind. Conversation could be an ideal method for tormenting Mr. Darcy, seeing that he could not get away from her for a substantial period of time.

"This is quite a lively ball tonight," Rarity said as an opening statement.

"Hm? Yes, quite," Mr. Darcy said.

He made no signs of continuing. After twenty seconds, Rarity shook her head and addressed him a second time. "It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some sort of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples."

"I...I see," Mr. Darcy said. "Do you talk, then, as a general rule while you are dancing?"

"Sometimes," Rarity said. "It would be exceedingly odd for two ponies to be silent for half an hour together. Do you mean to tell me that the dances are different in Canterlot?"

"They are not so different," Mr. Darcy said. "However, I have found that most of my dance partners do much in the way of talking, but very little when it comes to conversation."

"I see," Rarity said. "It would seem that, here in the country, we mares expect a bit more out of stallions."

"Or perhaps that is a trait which is peculiar to yourself, Miss Rarity," Mr. Darcy said.

"It is true that expect a good deal out of the stallions I meet," Rarity said. "That is why I planned to come tonight with Mr. Blueblood Wickham as my escort. It is a shame I have to settle for somepony lesser."

The effect was immediate. A deeper shade of haughtiness overspread his features, but he said not a word. Rarity, though gratified to see her words had their desired effect, could not go on. At length, Darcy spoke, and in a constrained manner said, "Mr. Blueblood is blessed with such happy manners that he can easily make friends. Whether he can be equally capable of retaining them is less certain."

"Yes, I heard that he was unlucky enough to have lost your friendship," Rarity said with emphasis. "I am sure that is a dreadful blow, from which he will be unable to recover. I daresay, he may suffer all his life."

Darcy made no answer and seemed desirous of changing the subject. At that moment, Lady Luna appeared close to them, meaning to pass through the set to the other side of the room, but upon seeing them together, she stopped with a curtsy of superior courtesy to compliment the match.

"Fair Fancypants, it is a delight to see you finally gracing the floor. Such very superior dancing is not often seen, and your lovely partner compliments you in every way." Lady Luna glanced noticeably at Fluttershy and Big Macintosh. "It is such a pleasure to see so many happy couples tonight! Perhaps Shining Armor's wedding will not be the only one to take place soon..."

Luna excused herself after this, but Mr. Darcy seemed to pay no attention to her at all. His eyes were directed with a very serious expression towards his friend and Fluttershy, who were laughing happily as they danced. Recovering himself shortly, Mr. Darcy turned to his partner and said, "I apologize. Lady Luna's interruption has made me forget what we were speaking of."

"We were not," Rarity said shortly. "Lady Luna could not have interrupted two ponies in the room who had less to say for themselves."

"I see," Mr. Darcy said. "So you do not wish to speak with me anymore?"

"I believe I have a firm understanding of your character now," Rarity said. She said no more, and they went through the other dance and parted in silence. Both sides were dissatisfied, though not to an equal degree.

Rarity avoided the dance floor after that, which ended up being a good idea, as Pinkie Pie soon tried to get everypony to do the Pony Pokey. Rarity wandered the area, talking to her friends and the various townsfolk. She had a short conversation with Applejack, which ended abruptly after Applejack offended Rarity with her blunt manner.

Rarity withdrew from the area, and she was headed towards one of her old acquaintances, when Spike came up to her.

"Rarity!" Spike said. "Want to dance again?"

"I...I've had enough of dancing for tonight," Rarity said.

"That's okay," Spike said. "By an extraordinary accident, I have just now learned that there is a near relation of my patroness in the room! A nephew of Lady Chrysalis herself!"

"Er...what?" Rarity asked. To be honest, she didn't pay much attention in the past, when Spike talked about Lady Chrysalis and how wonderful she was for sponsoring him.

"Yes, I happened to overhear the gentlecolt himself mention his cousin, Miss de Bourgh," Spike said. "I know it may seem like bad manners, but I simply must introduce myself to him!"

"Right, you go do that," Rarity said, not much concerned if Spike made a fool out of himself. She was, in turn, greatly surprised when she saw Spike waddle not to some strange pony, but directly to Mr. Darcy. At such a distance, Rarity could not tell what they were saying, but Spike was waving his arms around in a manner which clearly indicated that he was giving an enthusiastic speech.

After about forty seconds, Mr. Darcy made a response, which could not have been longer than two words. Spike interrupted and gave another long speech. The expression on Darcy's face was entertaining to see, in a cruel sort of way, as Spike kept talking and talking. Eventually, when there was another break in Spike's monologue, Darcy gave a polite bow, then immediately turned and went in another direction.

"Oh dear," a voice at Rarity's shoulder said. "It looks like Mr. Darcy is avoiding Spike."

"Fluttershy!" Rarity said, turning her head. "Did you ask Mr. Macintosh about Mr. Blueblood?"

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy said. "Maccy doesn't know anything about him. He says the first time he met Blueblood was the other day, in the market."

"You're calling him Maccy now?"

Fluttershy blushed. "He...he called me Flutters, so I thought I'd make a pet name for him!" she said. "Please don't tell anypony, though! His sister Applejack overheard, and she got mad."

"I happen to think it's adorable," Rarity said. "If Applejack doesn't approve, then it's too bad for her."

Eventually, the bell rang, signalling an end to the dancing and talking. Dinner soon followed.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Rarity said, as she found Mr. Darcy sitting next to her designated spot.

"Miss Bennet," Mr. Darcy said. "It seems we will have the unexpected pleasure of being eating partners, as well as dancing partners."

"My joy in life is complete," Rarity said. She rolled her eyes at her seat, then stopped. "Wait a second. That's not my spot."

"Excuse me?" Mr. Darcy asked.

"I am not the only R. Bennet in attendance tonight," Rarity said haughtily.

"Oh, good, you found my seat," Rarity's mother said, stepping forward, She plopped herself down, next to Mr. Darcy. "I'm starved! What are they having?"

Mr. Bennet got the seat next to his wife, and Lady Luna got the seat on his other side. As he remarked later on, being seated between his wife and Lady Luna was something like standing inside a chicken coop. The two of them talked so long and so loudly that he could not get a word in edgewise. Rarity, seated next to Twilight on the other side of Luna, found she could not partake in conversation either.

Luna started by discussing Shining Armor's engagement to the lovely pink pegasus, Cadance. Talk of wedding dates and invitations soon followed, with little end in sight. "'Tis a most promising match," Lady Luna said. "Verily, the pleasure in our household has been doubled. I only wish both of my children could be so happy."

Twilight squirmed a bit in her seat and blushed.

"Oh, I know," Mrs. Bennet said. "That is why it will be such a good thing for Fluttershy to marry Mr. Macintosh Bingley. It will certainly throw my remaining daughters in the way of other rich men."

Next to her, Mr. Darcy choked on his soup. The conversation dawdled on this particular topic, as Mrs. Bennet was speaking freely, openly, and of nothing else but her expectation that Fluttershy would soon be married to Big Macintosh. It was an animating subject, and Mrs. Bennet seemed incapable of fatigue while enumerating the advantages of the match. His being such a charming young stallion, and so rich, and living but three miles from them, were the first points of self-congratulation. As she continued, the expression on Darcy's face gradually changed from indignant contempt to a composed and steady gravity.

At length, the supper came to an end. Music started up again, and Sweetie Belle eagerly volunteered to sing for the party. Her singing was not quite equal to her enthusiasm, but when she showed all the signs of continuing, her father stepped in and distracted her with mild compliments. Rarity breathed a sigh of relief, happy that the potential embarrassment for her family was over.

...That was when Spike took the microphone.

"I'm not very good at singing, but I love karaoke!" Spike said. "And this is a song that I'd like to dedicate to a very special unicorn."

Love is in the bloom!
Something...something...kaboom!
Two hearts becoming one
A bomb that cannot be undone because
LOVE IS IN THE BLOOM!
STARTING A LIFE AND MAKING BROOMS
For us...

Rarity had the urge to smash her head against the nearest wall. "Please tell me this is not happening..." she moaned.

Spike finished the song with dance moves of his own creation, which resembled the spasms of a dying moose. He gave a large thumbs-up to the stunned crowed. "Shout out to my boy, Mr. DarCAY!" Spike shouted. "Dude, your aunt is the greatest!"

"That's it," Mr. Darcy decided. "I'm leaving. Now."

Rarity sighed. "At least Spike can't make things any worse for me..." she said to herself.

She was wrong. Oh, she was very, very wrong.

Chapter 13

The next day opened a new scene at Carousel Boutique, as Spike decided it was finally time to propose to Rarity. His vacation ended in less than a week, and he knew that he could tarry no longer.

As this was a private affair of the heart, Spike knew that he had to be discreet in proclaiming his intentions, and...nah, I'm just kidding. Spike was about a subtle as a buffalo in a pie-eating contest.

Fluttershy was the first to finish lunch that afternoon. As soon as she left the room, Spike jumped on her chair and shouted, "EXCUSE ME! I want to talk to Rarity privately!"

The Bennets looked up from their plates, with confused expressions. "Yes?" Mr. Bennet asked.

"So...could you all leave now?" Spike asked.

"We're eating right now," Rarity said. "Can't it wait?"

"Yeah, or maybe you two could talk in another room?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"It's super important! I have to talk to Rarity right now!" Spike said. "Please, just go, okay? I don't want an audience while I propose to—I mean, talk to her."

Oh, no, Rarity thought. No no no no no.

Mrs. Bennet's eyes lit up with joy. "Is that so?" she asked. "In that case, we shall exit immediately! Let's go, everypony!"

No no no no no no no no no no!

Rarity made a desperate grab as her family left the room. "Father, I beg you, please don't leave me here," she said. "Surely, you can do something!"

Mr. Bennet looked suddenly old. "Rarity, I...I only wish the best for you," he said.

Rarity groaned. Once her family was out of the room—leaving the door wide open behind them, Rarity noticed—Spike began.

"My dear Rarity," Spike said. "It may come as a surprise to you, but I did not come here to Ponyville just for a vacation. I came here to find a bride, a companion for my future life. These past days, I have fixated myself on you, because you are clearly the most beautiful out of all of my cousins who are still available."

Rarity's anger flared at this, but she calmed herself.

"Originally, I wanted to come here in order to sort out the inheritance problem," Spike said. "But my very dear patroness, Lady Chrysalis, recommended that I look for a bride among one of you. She is a most wonderful pony, and I love her so dearly that I could not ignore her advice, especially when it is so agreeable to my happiness."

I hate this Chrysalis mare already, Rarity thought. If you love her so much, why don't you propose to her, then?

"Your mother has made it clear that she wants you to get married. Therefore, there can be no doubt that this is a greatly desirable match which will make our families happy. So, Rarity, will you marry me?"

"No," Rarity said.

"...No?" Spike asked.

"No."

Spike paused for a moment. "Ah..." he said at last. "I've heard about this! You're playing hard to get! Sneaky!"

"No!" Rarity said. "I don't want to marry you! I want to marry a pony, not a dragon!"

"But that's what makes this a good match!" Spike said. "Your special talent is finding gems, and my special talent is eating them! Just think of it! You can spend the rest of your life, happily searching for rubies and sapphires for your beloved Spike."

"This is exactly the problem with us being together," Rarity said. "You're too immature for me. I'm over twice your age, Spike. Do you honestly think it could work?"

Spike frowned. "I'm not going to say that you're being cruel right now," he said. "But the next time I propose to you, I expect to hear a more favorable answer."

"Next time you propose?" Rarity asked. "No! I already turned you down, once! Why is there going to be a next time?"

"Obviously, you're just pretending not to like me," Spike said. "I mean, come on. This is the best moment of your entire life! I'm a terrific catch, and besides, it's not likely that any other stallion is going to want to marry you, right? Like you said, you're getting pretty old. All those spa trips and makeup aren't going to cover up your wrinkles forever."

"I am perfectly serious in my refusal," Rarity said. "You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last mare in the world who could make you so. Please do not speak to me ever again."

Rarity turned and left the room abruptly. Behind her, she could hear Spike burst into tears, bewailing his poor fortune.

As Rarity expected, her family members were waiting just outside the door.

"Oh my gosh, that was crazy!" Pinkie Pie shouted.

"You foolish girl, what have you done?" Mrs. Bennet cried. "You must accept his proposal immediately!"

"Darling, Rarity can make her own decisions," Mr. Bennet said. "And I believe she has made the right one."

"No!" Mrs. Bennet said.

"Yeah, good job, Sis," Rainbow Dash said. "You really stood up for yourself."

"I wanna be just like you when I grow up!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Thank you for the support, everypony," Rarity said.

Mrs. Bennet draped herself over Rarity and sobbed. "Out of all the horrible things that could have happened!" she said. "This is the! Worst! Possible! THING!"

Her declaration was premature, as the front door to the Carousel Boutique flew open shortly afterwards. Fluttershy ran in, screaming and crying.

"Fluttershy?" everypony asked.

"Nooooo!" Fluttershy cried. "It—I—"

"What's wrong, dear?" Mr. Bennet asked.

Fluttershy couldn't talk. She threw an envelope on the ground. Rarity picked up the letter with her magic, and some of the words instantly jumped out at her.

—Leaving Ponyville forever—

—Sorry I won't see you again—

—Big Macintosh Bingley

Chapter 14

The envelope contained a sheet of elegant, little, hot-pressed paper, covered with Big Macintosh's large handwriting. Mr. Bennet read it aloud, although he did omit a sentence or two which contained elements of a private nature between Big Mac and Fluttershy.

"Urgent business summoned me back home, and there is a high probability this means I am leaving Ponyville forever," Mr. Bennet read. "The family's business at Sweet Apple Acres is finished, and the earliest we can possibly return is late spring. I am sorry I won't see you again before the train leaves, but it really cannot be helped. Know that I will always think fondly of our time together in Ponyville."

"I'll never see him again!" Fluttershy wailed.

"How could they have moved away so quickly? We saw them at Netherfield last night!" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I'll see if I can track them down," Rainbow Dash said. She flew away at top speed, heading for the train station.

"The only stallion who every liked me is gone!" Fluttershy cried.

"This is the greatest tragedy of modern times!" Mrs. Bennet cried, hugging her daughter and sobbing with equal fervor.

"Hopefully they took Mr. Darcy with them..." Rarity muttered.

Fluttershy was inconsolable, and no pony could blame her for it. Even Rarity, who was not prone to fits of matchmaking like her mother, had to agree that Fluttershy and Big Macintosh were an excellent pair, whose calm demeanor, modesty and love of animals had brought them closer together. These past few weeks were the happiest the eldest daughter had ever been.

Any normal pony would be gravely offended by what happened, and her affection would soon be poisoned into the opposite. But Fluttershy's legendary kindness soon arose, and she found that she could not hate Big Macintosh for what happened.

"He told me he'll love me forever..." she said. "Maybe it's just a misunderstanding..."

"Maybe he was replaced by a changeling!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Or he got a head injury and now he thinks everything backwardsly!" Pinkie Pie said. "Or maybe his sister Applejack teamed up with Mr. Darcy to ruin your relationship, because they don't like you very much!"

"Nonsense. You said things were getting better with Applejack, right?" Mrs. Bennet asked.

"I...I think she likes me," Fluttershy said. "She can be kind of rough but...that's just what makes her unique."

"I highly doubt that Mr. Macintosh is being bossed around by his little sister," Mr. Bennet said. "In any case, I believe the next step is clear. You must write back to him and politely request a fuller explanation."

"Polite, nothing! You DEMAND an explanation!" Mrs. Bennet yelled. "Tell him if he doesn't have A GOOD REASON for abandoning you, I'm marching write over there and tattooing the words 'UNTRUSTWORTHY STALLION: ALL MARES STAY AWAY' on his forehead!"

"That might be a bit too much," Mr. Bennet said.

"Um...um..." Fluttershy moaned.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked.

"Icasendressho," Fluttershy mumbled.

"What was that?"

"I can't send him a letter, because I...I don't know his new address..." Fluttershy said.

"...That's not good," Mr. Bennet said.

Rainbow Dash returned, with the news that Sweet Apple Acres was completely emptied out, and some renters were poised to move it. Mr. Bennet and Rainbow Dash went to speak with these ponies, in hopes of learning the new address of the Bingleys.

The momentous events of the day were not over yet, however. No less than three hours later, there was a loud slamming against the front door. "RARITY! RARITY! RARITY! OPEN UP!" a voice screamed.

"Isn't that...?" Mrs. Bennet began to ask.

The second Rarity opened the door, Twilight Sparkle burst into the room. "Rarity! Rarity! I have the best news ever!"

"Whoa, Twilight, calm down," Rarity said to her friend, who was practically bouncing around the room. "What is it?"

"It's great! I, Twilight Sparkle, have..." Twilight stopped, when she saw the family gathered around a morose Fluttershy. "What's wrong?"

Rarity quickly and quietly explained the situation to her friend.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Fluttershy," Twilight said. "I can't believe that happened!"

"Thank you, Twilight," Fluttershy said. She sniffed, and with a forced smile, said, "What is your good news? I could use some cheering up."

"Okay!" Twilight said. She took a deep breath. "I...Twilight Sparkle...am going to be married!"

"What?"

"Who?"

"How?"

"Spike proposed to me!" Twilight said, squealing with happiness. "He came by my house today, and he asked me to marry him!"

"WHAT?" Rarity shouted.

"I know! Isn't it romantic? He said he had his eye on me, ever since he came here! Remember that song he sang at Netherfield? He said it was for me!"

"I...I don't believe it!" Rarity said. I reject Spike, and he immediately proposes to my best friend?!

"You have to be my mare of honor!" Twilight said. "And you can design my wedding dress! It's going to be so much fun!"

"But...but...of course..." Rarity said, putting on a smile which was faker than her eyelashes. "I...I wish you every conceivable happiness, darling."

The compliment was obviously false, but either Twilight Sparkle didn't notice, or she was too polite to mention it. She wrapped Rarity up in a huge hug. "Isn't this wonderful? It's all I ever dreamed of!"

On the other side of the room, Rainbow Dash looked at her mother. "Do...should we tell her the truth?"

"No, that would be too cruel," Mrs. Bennet said, shaking her head.

"Wait a minute..." Pinkie Pie said. "If Spike and Twilight get married and have foals, doesn't that mean they inherit our property, not us?"

Mrs. Bennet started cursing loudly.

Chapter 15

To Rarity's delight, Mr. Blueblood returned to town, a week after his disappearance. His first course of action was visiting Carousel Boutique.

"Hello, Miss Rarity," Blueblood said. "I am very glad to see that you have recovered from your illness."

"Illness?" Rarity asked.

"You...had the pony pox, did you not?" Mr. Blueblood asked. "It said so in the letter that you sent."

"I have been perfectly healthy as of late," Rarity said. "Fluttershy was sick a few weeks ago, but that was before we first met you."

"I...there must be some mistake," Blueblood said. "I received a letter saying that you were too sick to attend the Netherfield Ball. It was signed by a Dr. Spike Collins."

Rarity's jaw dropped. "You didn't go to Netherfield, because of Spike?" she asked. "But...I..."

"That and I feared the evening would not be enjoyable without your presence, Miss Rarity," Blueblood said. "Was I incorrect in assuming so? Perhaps one of your sisters was free."

He cast a side glance at Pinkie Pie, who had gotten a brush stuck in her mane. She was trying to pull it out, but she kept crying in pain and letting go because it hurt. Blueblood shook his head slightly and returned his focus to Rarity.

"I am afraid you have been deceived," Rarity said. "I did attend the ball, and your presence was greatly missed."

"A thousand apologies," Blueblood said, smiling dashingly. "Perhaps I can make it up to you, with dinner tonight? After I meet your parents, of course."

Rarity's parents approved of Mr. Blueblood as a worthy suitor. Mr. Bennet had some reserves about his past, but Mrs. Bennet said that he was Spike's superior in every way. She especially liked his gracious manners, which were of excellent caliber.

Privately, Blueblood admitted that he had taken Mr. Darcy into consideration. Namely, he avoided the event, in part, to prevent the creation of an unpleasant scene which would disturb all in attendance. Rarity complimented him on his forbearance, and he responded by complimenting her in turn.

The date with Blueblood was a pleasant affair. Rarity considered herself to be too intelligent to fall in love with a stallion without getting to know him first, but she knew that the feelings she had could one day develop into love. He was good-looking, a charming speaker, and he seemed rather taken with her, and that was more than sufficient in this stage of their relationship.

That, and he was an excellent kisser. But you never heard Rarity say that.

Before returning home, Rarity stopped by her friend Twilight's house. To Rarity's surprise and displeasure, Spike opened the door.

"Oh...Rarity," Spike said. He scratched his head awkwardly. "What brings you here?"

"You changed the letter I wrote to Blueblood," Rarity said, narrowing her eyes angrily. "You told him I was sick."

"Heh heh...funny thing about that..."

"Playing with my emotions is funny to you?!" Rarity snapped.

"Who is it?" Twilight called from inside.

"It's, uh...it's Rarity Bennet!" Spike said.

"Show her in," Twilight said. "Then go back to making dinner."

"Uh, right!" Spike said. He turned around and waddled into the kitchen as quickly as his chubby legs could take him. As Rarity walked inside, Twilight came downstairs from the upper floor.

"Hi, Rarity!" she said. "How are you doing?"

"I am well, thank you," Rarity said. "I didn't know Spike was living with you."

"Yes, he's here until he has to leave later this week," Twilight said. "I've been training him to do chores for me. He's so sweet! It's almost like he's my personal assistant."

"I can see that," Rarity said. Perhaps the marriage between Twilight and Spike would work out after all. "Does your mother approve of him staying here?"

"It was her idea, actually. She said him staying here would 'fan the flames of love'..." Twilight said. She sighed lightly. "I'm not sure sure what she's hoping for. I have no illusions that Spike and I have a great romance, like Roameo and Juliet."

"Seeing as they killed themselves, that's probably for the best," Rarity said. "Where is your mother, anyway?"

Twilight tilted her head to the side. "She's at your house. Didn't you come from there?"

"No, I just came from a dinner date with Mr. Blueblood."

"Ooooo!" Twilight said. "Tell me what happened!"

"Shining Armor and Cadance are having a Canterlot wedding?" gasped Mrs. Bennet.

"Lady Chrysalis insisted on it," Lady Luna said. "She's also going to pay for Twilight's wedding! It's such a boon for us to be marrying into her family!"

"Technically, Twilight isn't marrying into the de Bourgh family," Mr. Bennet said. "Lady Chrysalis is merely Spike's patroness."

"Either way, we get to inherit Carousel Boutique when you die," Lady Luna said. She looked around at the room, appraising it. "This is a nice place...I wouldn't mind moving in here once you kick the bucket...By the way, how old are you, Sir? Feeling healthy?"

Mrs. Bennet practically spit fury. "I beg your pardon! My husband will be healthy for years to come, so you can keep your greedy hooves off of our house!"

Lady Luna laughed loudly. " 'Tis a joke!" she announced. "We like you, Bennets! That's why you're invited to the wedding!"

Mrs. Bennet took the joke better than one would expect. "Well, I'm glad there are no hard feelings between friends!" she said. "I thought you would be upset with us, because Spike proposed to my daughter first."

Lady Luna's face fell. "He what?" she asked.

"Heh heh heh..."

"Rarity turned down Spike's marriage proposals," Mr. Bennet said. "All three of them. Or was it four? I forget."

Lady Luna was slowly turning purple with rage.

"Oh, dear," Mr. Bennet. "You look sick. How old are you, Madam? Feeling healthy?"

The Bennets all wanted to go to Canterlot for Shining Armor's wedding, but there were two reasons why they could not. First, the wedding was the same week as Pinkie Pie's eighteenth birthday, on April First. They did not want to interfere with Pinkie's birthday plans, which had been in place for a long time. Second, the Bennets did not have enough money for all seven of them to take an extended vacation.

It was decided that the three unicorns would attend the wedding, namely, Mr. Bennet, Rarity and Sweetie Belle. Mrs. Bennet would stay at home and watch over Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. Poor Fluttershy could have used the diversion of a trip to Canterlot, as she was still mopey and sad about Mr. Macintosh, even though a month had transpired since he left.

Rarity could sympathize with her sister, but she had a fantastic month before the trip to Canterlot. Mr. Blueblood Wickham had called on her, at least one a week, and Rarity would be lying is she said that she didn't enjoy the attention. Mrs. Bennet soon championed the cause of Blueblood and Rarity, declaring that there would be a marriage proposal within another month.

It was Rarity's first trip to Canterlot, and she was practically glowing with excitement at all of the glamour around her. Sadly, the Bennets were not staying in the city proper; they were staying inside a small cottage on a farming community, close to Spike's residence. The cottage had not been used in some time, but it was comfortable enough for a temporary living space.

A frilly yellow envelope was lying on the floor, waiting for them as they entered. Mr. Bennet picked it up and read it aloud with some difficulty, given the overly fancy and flowing script. It said that the three of them were invited to dine that night, with Twilight Sparkle and Spike. Rarity was excited about the idea of having a formal Canterlot dinner with her friend Twilight, until she learned that the hosts were Lady Chrysalis de Bourgh and her nephew, Fancypants Darcy.

Author's Note

The start of Volume Two is another place where you can easily skip five chapters and not miss much. The wedding with Twilight and Spike is the next major scene, but the book insists on explaining everything that happened in the intervening six months. Most of it deals with unimportant relatives who were not mentioned anywhere in Volume One.

Unless I read things incorrectly, the only interesting thing that happens during this time is Fluttershy's search for Big Macintosh. She goes all the way to London to talk to him, but just when they're about to be reunited and passionately declare their love for each other, Evil Applejack opens the door. She scares Fluttershy away for good, and purposely doesn't tell her lovelorn brother about it. That's a really interesting scene, in my opinion! Unfortunately...it all takes place off-camera, and we only hear about it secondhand. Ugh, Pride and Prejudice, you are killing me here!

Chapter 16

Spike and Twilight came to take the Bennets over to Lady Chrysalis' estate, although the estate at Rosings was so large that it could not possibly be missed. Twilight hugged Rarity, but when Spike moved in to hug her as well, he found himself on the end of a telekinetic shove.

"I've never met Lady Chrysalis before," Twilight said. "I wonder what she's like."

"Her ladyship is the most excellent product of high breeding and class," Spike said. "But she is also exceedingly generous, so don't make yourselves uneasy about your apparel. Lady Chrysalis will not look down upon you for having shoddy clothing."

"Shoddy clothing!" Rarity said.

"Your clothes are so cheap, it looks like you made them yourself," Spike said, shrugging. "Just put on whichever of your clothes is superior to the rest. There is no occasion for anything more."

Must...kill...Spike... Rarity thought slowly, seeing red. Mr. Bennet put a calming hoof on her shoulder.

As the weather was fine, they had a pleasant walk of about half a mile across Rosings Park. Every park has its beauty and its prospects, and Rarity saw much to be pleased with, although she could not be in such raptures as Spike expected the scene to inspire. An off-white stallion with a dark blue mane and a military uniform was walking around the grounds, and he trotted over when he saw the group.

"Ah, you must be the Bennets," the stallion said. "How do you do? I am Colonel Fancypants Darcy."

"Fancypants Darcy?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Where's your mustache and eye thingy?"

Colonel Fancypants laughed good-naturedly. "You're thinking of my cousin Fancypants," said he. "He doesn't arrive until tomorrow."

"...You and your cousin are both named Fancypants Darcy," Mr. Bennet said.

"It's a family name," Colonel Fancypants said.

"But you don't even wear pants!" Sweetie Belle said.

Rarity chuckled nervously. "Sweetie Belle, let's be polite to the Colonel."

"It's okay, I get that a lot," Colonel Fancypants said. "Would you like a tour before you—?"

"Obviously, the first thing they should do is meet Lady Chrysalis," Spike interrupted.

"Er, right," Colonel Fancypants said. He led the group inside the mansion, and Spike pointed out items of interest as they went through the entrance-hall, up a flight of stairs and through an ante-chamber before they reached the room where Lady Chrysalis was seated with her daughter, a unicorn named Trixie. Her ladyship, with great condescension, arose to receive them. Colonel Fancypants introduced everypony.

Lady Chrysalis was a jet-black unicorn, tall and large, with strongly-marked features which might have been beautiful once. Her green eyes were cruel, and her manners haughty; whatever she said was spoken in such an authoritative tone as marked her self-importance. Trixie was of the same ilk as her mother; her primary concern seemed to be making herself look great and powerful in comparison to all other ponies. While it was true that Trixie might have strong magical powers, she was a bit too pale and sickly to make her self-appointed prowess seem probable.

"Trixie is the reason why my cousin is arriving late," Colonel Fancypants whispered to Rarity. "She fancies him, and he wishes to avoid her."

Rarity smirked at this. Being pursued by Trixie and her formidable mother was a suitable punishment for Mr. Darcy, and indeed, it would go a long way towards explaining why he was generally unpleasant.

After the introductions were made, an unlively conversation followed. There was little to be done but to hear Lady Chrysalis talk, which she did without any intermission. One by one, she questioned Twilight and Spike about the minute details of their lives, and she gave a good deal of advice as to the management of their affairs. Spike was enraptured by the speeches, but Rarity soon came to the conclusion that Lady Chrysalis' main priority in life was dictating the lives of others.

"The reference section at the front of a library at all times," Lady Chrysalis told Twilight. "You must fix that horrid miscarriage of justice as soon as possible."

"Yes, your ladyship," Twilight said.

"Excellent," Lady Chrysalis said. She turned to the Bennets. "And you, Mr. Bennet. I am told that not all of your family is here today."

"That is correct," Mr. Bennet said, bowing slightly. "My wife has chosen to remain at home with three of my daughters."

"You have five daughters, then?" Lady Chrysalis asked. "Astounding! I take it they are all trained in the proper arts?"

"We have endeavored to help our children cultivate their unique talents, rather than put them all through the same program," Mr. Bennet said. "For example, Rarity likes to work with fashion and clothing design, while Sweetie Belle enjoys singing."

"Oh! Then at some time or other we shall be happy to hear you. Our instrument is a capital one, probably superior to—you shall try it some day."

"I, um...I don't play piano," Sweetie Belle admitted.

"What? You can sing, but not play piano?"

"With me, it is the opposite," Rarity said. "I can play, but I cannot sing."

"Why not all of you? You ought all to have learned. The Webbs all play, and their father has not so good an income as yours. How sufficient is your governess?"

"We never hired any governess," Mr. Bennet said.

"No governess! How was that possible! Five daughters brought up at home without a governess! I never head of such a thing. You must be quite a slave to your daughters' education."

"Sweetie Belle goes to Ponyville Elementary," Rarity said.

"Miss Cheerilee is our teacher, and she's nice!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Public school? No private tutors?"

"I have had private tutors all my life," Trixie said. "That is why I am so accomplished at magic."

"Indeed," Lady Chrysalis said. "I have never understood why some ponies insist upon living beyond their means. A pony should never have more children than they can afford."

"I find it curious you would say that," Mr. Bennet. "If money is all that matters when it comes to children, why do you only have one daughter, when you could easily afford to have twenty?"

"I beg your pardon!"

"Then I give you my pardon," Mr. Bennet said easily. "My wife and I love our daughters very dearly, and the enjoyment that our family brings more than compensates for the occasional pain in the pocketbook."

"I see," Lady Chrysalis said haughtily. "Are you the son of Mr. Roughshod Bennet?"

"That I am," Mr. Bennet said.

"I recognize you perfectly now," Lady Chrysalis said. "I met your parents once, thirty years ago. It is a shame that their son has not lived up to the Bennet family's expectations. But enough of speaking; let us have dinner."

Dinner was a silent affair for the Bennets, as Lady Chrysalis did not talk to any of them. Rather, Colonel Fancypants became the main participant of the table's discussion, which was to the pleasure of all, considering that he was the most pleasant member of the family. Instead of having the customary coffee after dinner, Lady Chrysalis dismissed everyone early.

"Fancypants, you must return for dinner tomorrow night," Lady Chrysalis ordered. "And you must return as well, Miss Rarity. Bring your designs for Twilight's wedding dress. I must ensure that there are no mistakes."

"I will, Aunt Chrysalis," Colonel Fancypants said.

"Lady Chrysalis," she corrected. "I need not see the rest of you until the wedding. Good night."

She turned and left the room quickly, as if she could not put enough space in between herself and Mr. Bennet. With a small "hmmph!", Trixie followed.

"Isn't she the greatest?" Spike asked. "So high class!"

"She's, um...strong willed?" Twilight asked. "I don't think her daughter likes me very much."

"They were different before my uncle died," Colonel Fancypants sighed. "Very well. Shall we proceed back to your cottage?"

Chapter 17

The next day, the Bennets took a carriage into the city. They went to see Queen Celestia give a speech, and afterwards, they went to visit their grandparents.

"Yay, Gramma and Grampa!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Father," Rarity said. "What did Lady Chrysalis mean yesterday, when she talked about the Bennet family's expectations?"

"It's not important," Mr. Bennet said. "You should forget about it."

"Are your parents not proud of you?" Rarity asked. "Is that why they never visit us in Ponyville?"

Mr. Bennet sighed. "I...it's a long story. Have I ever told you how your mother and I first met?"

"Mom says you met at the Grand Galloping Gala," Sweetie Belle said. "She was wearing a beautiful dress, and all the stallions liked her!"

"Don't let your mother know I told you, but that's not quite how it happened," Mr. Bennet smiled. "The truth is that she...well, let me back up a bit. I was born and raised here in Canterlot."

"Not Ponyville?" Rarity asked.

"No, I grew up here," Mr. Bennet said. "My parents aren't the richest of ponies, but we were quite well-off. My brother and I lived comfortably for years, and...let's see...when I was seventeen, I was the class valedictorian of Queen Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns."

"But that's a prestigious school!" Rarity gasped.

"I was a prestigious student," Mr. Bennet said. "As a reward for my good grades, I got a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. That's where I met your mother."

"Was it love at first sight?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Not exactly," Mr. Bennet said. "Your mother wasn't there as a guest. She was there as a scullery maid. Sort of like...Cinderella. Her job was to clean to clean to kitchens and the bathrooms."

"Ew!" Sweetie Belle said.

"She was so busy listening to the gossip at the ball that she didn't pay attention to what she was doing, and she spilled coffee all over my new suit," Mr. Bennet said. "We yelled at each other for a bit, and we were thrown out of the Grand Galloping Gala. Then it was love at first sight."

"That's not at all how Mother tells the story," Rarity said.

"No, I doubt she would tell it that way," Mr. Bennet said. "We started seeing each other after that, but nopony approved, especially not my parents. They wanted me to finish school and start working at the family business, not fall in love with a low-class servant. But your mother and I...we...on my eighteenth birthday, we ran away and got married."

"What?" Rarity gasped.

"I know," Mr. Bennet said. "Our parents were furious. Getting married while still in school? It was unheard of! They practically refused to talk to me for three years!"

"Why three years?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"That was when Fluttershy was born," Mr. Bennet said. "Once there were grandfoals, my parents became much happier with my marriage. Still, we ended up moving away from Canterlot when Rarity was born. That's why we don't see your grandparents often."

"Wow," Rarity said. She couldn't believe somepony in her family would get married on their eighteenth birthday!

In Ponyville, Mr. Blueblood Wicked, er, Wickham was down on his luck. After leaving the market, he ran into his two bookies, Flim and Flam. Flam opened up his mouth and began singing.

Why, look at what we got here, brother of mine, right here in town,
It's the pony who bet a lot of money while 300 bits down!

Flim picked up the melody.

Maybe he's not aware that before you make bets,
You need to pay off your gambling debts!

Both of them sang the next line together.

At the Flim Flam Brothers Super Shady, Quite Illegal Casino!

"I'll get you your money!" Blueblood said. "I just need more time! The bank refused to give me a loan!"

"We gave you a month, pal!" Flim said. "You paid us 1000 bits, but you still owe 2000 more!"

"Do you want to go to jail, buddy? Is that it?" Flam asked. "From what I hear, this isn't the first time you've been late in paying off debts!"

"No, please!" Blueblood said. "I'll figure out a way to get your money! Maybe if you let me play another round of poker...!"

"No way," Flim said. "But since you already paid a third of your debt, we're giving you an extra week."

"Two thousand bits, one week. Otherwise, we'll report you to the police," Flam said. He began to sing again. "And you'll be in jail for life!"

So take this opportunity
And come up with our money!
He's Flim!
He's Flam!
We're the world famous Flim Flam Brothers!
Gambling bookies extraordinaire!

Blueblood didn't know what he disliked more: the crippling debt or the singing. He decided to visit Carousel Boutique, in hopes of getting some money out of Rarity. Her family was rich, right? They had five children, after all!

Pinkie Pie answered the door. "Hi, Mr. Blueblood! If you're here for Rarity, you're too late because she's in Canterlot! But if you're here for my party, you're too early because it's in three hours!"

"Your...party?" Blueblood asked.

"It's my birthday! I turn eighteen today!" Pinkie said. "I'm officially an adult!"

"Really," Mr. Blueblood said. "That's old enough to be married..."

"Uh huh!" Pinkie Pie said.

"And this is a rather large house..."

"Yep-a-rooni!" Pinkie said. "It's perfect for the party!"

"And your parents would probably support a new son-in-law..." Blueblood said to himself.

"What was that?" Pinkie asked.

"I was just saying that you look beautiful today, Pinkie," Blueblood said. "I will most certainly attend your special birthday party! But until then, how about a special birthday kiss?"

"A birth—mmmph!" Pinkie said, as Blueblood grabbed her head and forced his lips upon hers. Pinkie's eyes rolled back as the sensations swept through her mouth.

"Since you're eighteen, that means you get seventeen more," Blueblood whispered breathily. "But let's save for that for when we can be alone...in private."

"W-wow..." Pinkie Pie said.

Blueblood excused himself, as a wobbly-legged Pinkie Pie tried to regain her composure.

"I didn't know it was customary to make out with stallions on your eighteenth birthday!" Pinkie Pie commented. "This will be the best birthday ever!"

Chapter 18

The Bennet grandparents were extremely friendly and glad to see their relatives. It was with some regret that Rarity had to leave early, so she could dine with Lady Chrysalis again.

Rarity gathered her sketches for Twilight's wedding dress and went to Lady Chrysalis' estate. Without her father there to constantly make jokes, Rarity had an easier time getting Lady Chrysalis' approval. The uppity mare decided that the third design was best, but she still demanded several changes which she insisted would improve the dress. The older mare was not used to being contradicted, and so Rarity did not voice her concerns; she was accustomed to demands from unreasonable customers.

Mr. Darcy was in attendance, as one would expect. His manner that night was more unpleasant than normal, as Trixie tried to cozy up to him. Rarity grinned at his displeasure and stuck close to Colonel Fancypants, whom she believed was the only tolerable member of the family.

When coffee was over, Colonel Fancypants reminded Rarity of having promised to play to him, and she sat down directly to the pianoforte. He drew a chair near her. Lady Chrysalis listened to half a song, and then talked, as before, to Mr. Darcy about his sister Fleur. After some time, Mr. Darcy walked away from her and, making with his usual deliberation, he stationed himself so as to command a full view of the fair performer's countenance. Rarity saw what she was doing and turned to him at the first convenient pause.

"What brings you so close to me, Mr. Darcy? Do you mean to frighten me, into playing poorly?"

"Not at all," Mr. Darcy said. "I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know that you are not easily swayed from your course. I daresay that nothing short of a rampaging manticore could stop you from finishing your piece."

Rarity laughed heartily at this picture of herself, and said to Colonel Fancypants, "Your cousin will give you a very pretty notion of me, and teach you not to believe a word I say. I am particularly unlucky, because I had hoped to pass myself off as a native here in Canterlot. Really, Mr. Darcy, it is ungenerous for you to mention all that you know about me from Ponyville. Should you continue, I may be forced to retaliate."

"I am not afraid of you," said he, smilingly.

"Pray tell what you know," said Colonel Fancypants. "What dastardly deeds did my cousin perform in your hometown?"

"Prepare yourself for something very dreadful," Rarity said. "The first time of my ever seeing Mr. Darcy was at a hoedown on a farm."

Colonel Fancypants burst into laughter, thinking of his prim and proper cousin at a country hoedown. "Indeed? Did he join in one of the local occupations, such as wrassling or square dancing?"

"Exactly the opposite," Rarity said. "He danced no dances at all, even though gentlecolts were scarce, and there was more than one young lady sitting down in need of a partner. Mr. Darcy, you cannot deny this fact."

"I...at that time, I did not have the honor of know any lady in the assembly."

"True," Rarity said. "But I understand that you went so far as to deny the loveliest mare in town, even when your friend offered to introduce her."

Recognition and regret filled Darcy's eyes, as he found himself unable to contradict the veiled accusation. "Perhaps I should have judged better, had I accepted the introduction, but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers."

"How odd," Rarity said. "Colonel, do you know why a stallion of sense, education and worldly experience would find it hard to recommend himself to strangers?"

"Without naming any pony in particular, I can answer your question," said Colonel Fancypants. "It is because he will not give himself the trouble of talking to them."

"Yes, that seems like a fair estimate," Rarity said. "He is too quick to judge other ponies, and he does not allow himself the opportunity of befriending them."

Mr. Darcy looked thoughtful at this. "I certainly have not the talent which some ponies posses, of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or I do not appear interested in their concerns."

"Do you know, I am not talented at playing the piano?" Rarity said, in an offhand manner. "My hooves do not move over the instrument in the masterly manner that some ponies employ. But I do not blame my hooves for not being the equal to Mozart's. Rather, I accept the fact that it is my own fault, because I do not take the trouble of practicing."

Here, they were interrupted by Lady Chrysalis, who demanded to know what they were talking of. Rarity began playing again, and Chrysalis began to remark on Rarity's performance, mixing them with many instructions on execution and taste. Rarity received them with all the forbearance of civility. Meanwhile, Mr. Darcy said nothing and eventually left the room, casting a glance backwards at Rarity as he did so.

Colonel Fancypants walked Rarity back to the cottage. She thanked him earnestly, for being the one bright spot in an otherwise bleak night.

"I fear you are too harsh on my cousin," the Colonel said. "He is not as bad of a pony, as you would believe. Why, if you knew what he did with his friend, Mr. Bingley—"

"Big Macintosh, of the Apple family?" Rarity asked. "I know he is friends with Mr. Darcy. Both were in Ponyville, before their unplanned departure last month."

"Yes, and there is good reason for their hasty exit," Colonel Fancypants said. He seemed a bit uncomfortable. "Forgive me, Miss Bennet. It is not proper to speak of these matters, which were given to me in confidence."

"But you have piqued my interest," Rarity said. "Indeed, everypony in Ponyville is curious as to why Mr. Macintosh left town so quickly."

"Mr. Macintosh left, because of a certain mare," said the Colonel. "Neither he nor Mr. Darcy wants the circumstances to be generally known, for they do not wish to shame the lady's family."

Rarity had a sudden sense of dread, but she could let the subject drop. "I promise I shall tell no pony."

"That is generous of you. The truth is that Mr. Darcy saved his friend from marrying the wrong pony."

"Marrying the wrong pony?"

"Yes, Friend Macintosh had fallen madly in love with the most vile and deceitful of ponies. I am told that she won his affections, by pretending to be demure and kindly, when all along she had her eyes on obtaining for herself the Bingley fortune. Mr. Darcy was able foresee the coming disaster, and he was able to convince his friend to leave forthwith."

"I know the mare in question," Rarity said. "I can assure you that sweet Fluttershy had no designs whatsoever in pursuing Big Macintosh! Furthermore, who made Mr. Darcy the judge of these matters?! I do not see what right he had to interfere with his friend's happiness, or why he believed he should determine and direct in what manner Big Macintosh should live his life!"

To be sure, Rarity had briefly suspected Mr. Darcy of separating Big Macintosh and Fluttershy. But hearing the truth of the matter from a third party was beyond offensive, considering all that Fluttershy had suffered and still continued for suffer. Darcy had ruined every hope of happiness for the most affectionate, generous heart in the world, and no one could say how lasting an evil he might have inflicted.

Darcy must have been misled by his pride or his vanity, for there is no way an otherwise intelligent pony could come to such an erroneous conclusion, Rarity decided. There could be no possibly objection against Fluttershy, nor my father's station in life, nor my mother's...well, let's just say there could be no valid objections against our family!

"I have upset you," Colonel Fancypants said. "I apologize, Miss Rarity. It seems this matter is more personal to you than I expected."

"No, not at all," Rarity said. "I do not blame you for my anger. If there is any pony I am mad at, it is Mr. Darcy! How could he do something like that to my sister?"

"S-sister?"

In Ponyville, Blueblood prepared himself for the wicked deed he was about to perform. Tricking Pinkie Pie into marrying him was not a noble course of action, but there was no other option. He had to get the money as soon as possible.

Besides, it's not like I haven't seduced an underage mare before, Blueblood thought smugly, remembering the things he had done with Mr. Darcy's younger sister, Fleur.

The party at Carousel Boutique was in full swing, by the time Blueblood entered. The crowd was good, as it would provide cover for what he was doing. Blueblood prepared a special drink with high alcohol content and gave it to Pinkie Pie, toasting her for her birthday.

"I wish you many happy returns of the day," Blueblood said. "I must say, I find it especially appropriate that you were born on April First."

"Yeah, April Foal's Day!" Pinkie giggled. "That's me, the silly party pony!"

Blueblood decided to test the waters. "Tell me, Pinkie Pie...have you thought about marriage?"

"I'm too young for that!" Pinkie Pie said. "I don't even have a coltfriend!"

"What about me?"

"Don't you...like Rarity?" Pinkie asked.

"No, of course not!" Blueblood said. "Not in a romantic sense, anyway. You are clearly the most attractive mare in the family!"

"Hee hee hee..." Pinkie giggled. "Do go on!"

"I've loved you ever since the moment I laid eyes on you," Blueblood said. "You bring life to every room you enter—here, let me refill your glass—and I would like nothing more than to make you as happy as you make me."

He leaned forward and kissed Pinkie Pie. He hesitantly pulled back to see her reaction.

Pinkie swallowed her entire drink in one gulp. "Whoo! Bluey, you're all right!" she said. She kissed him openly, running her hooves through his long blond hair.

Across the room, Rainbow Dash gasped loudly. She ran to get her mother, but by the time Mrs. Bennet came from the other room, it was too late. Pinkie Pie and Blueblood were long gone.

Author's Note

The picture in this chapter is the above scene from Pride and Prejudice, ponified. Before I started writing this story, I googled "Pride and Prejudice pony", and that was the only relevant search result I got. I wanted to include it in this story, even if it contains the characters from the book, and not Rarity and Fancypants playing Elizabeth and Darcy.

Chapter 19

The agitation and tears which the subject occasioned brought on a headache, and it grew so much worse towards the evening that Rarity could entertain no notion of sleeping. She gave the barest of details to her father and sister, then spent the rest of the time seated at the sofa, thinking of what she had learned.

While settling herself, she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door-bell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of it being Colonel Fancypants, come to call late in the evening. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room.

Darcy was clearly distressed, speaking in a hurried tone. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up, walked around the room. Rarity was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began:

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire you."

Rarity's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, colored, doubted and was silent. Darcy considered this to be sufficient encouragement, and he began to profess his feelings for her. He spoke well, but he spoke inelegantly of her family, which awakened Rarity's deep-rooted dislike of the stallion. Her initial compassion for the pain he was to receive was soon replaced by anger and resentment. He had destroyed Fluttershy's chances of happiness? Very well. It was only fair that Rarity return the favor, by destroying Darcy's happiness.

He concluded by representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavors, he had found impossible to conquer. He expressed his hope that his attachment would be rewarded by the acceptance on her part. As he said this, she could easily see that he had no doubt of a favorable answer. He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed real security.

"You appear to have given this matter great thought," Rarity said. "Have you struggled greatly with your feelings for me?"

"I have," said he. "For weeks, I have tried to deny that which my heart desires."

"That is very lovely of you," Rarity said sweetly. "You tried your hardest to hate me as much as possible! Dear Darcy, you are quite the romantic!"

"I...I did not mean that—"

"I don't care what you mean to say. The answer is no. You are the foulest stallion I have ever met, and I would sooner pluck out my eyebrows than be courted by you."

Mr. Darcy, who was leaning against the mantelpiece with his eyes fixed on her face, seemed to catch her words with no less resentment than surprise. His complexion became pale with anger, and the disturbance of his mind was visible in every feature. He was struggling for the appearance of composure.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked. "Don't you find pleasure in cruel rejection? You seemed to enjoy it well enough, when you ruined Fluttershy's life. I have heard that you and you alone drove my sister away from Big Macintosh, causing them endless grief. Can you deny it?"

"I...I do not rejoice in my success in that matter," Darcy said.

"Oh, but Fluttershy isn't the only pony whose life you have destroyed! What of Mr. Blueblood Wickham, the stallion who you cheated out of his inheritance? You have reduced him to his present state of poverty! You deprived him of the advantages which were his due, out of trivial jealousy!"

Rarity was going to continue and speak of Mr. Darcy's ugly mustached, but she was interrupted. "And this," cried Darcy, as he walked with quick steps across the room, "is your opinion of me! This is the estimation in which you hold me! I thank you for explaining it so fully. I can see why everypony says you are generous!"

"It is too generous of me, even to speak to a hateful pony like yourself," Rarity said. "From the very beginning—from the first moment, I may almost say—of my acquaintance with you, your manners impressed me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others. I believe you are incapable of having love for any pony other than yourself, and my dislike of you has grown to the point that within a month I have felt that you are the last stallion in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry."

"You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time."

And with these words he hastily left the room, and Rarity heard him the next moment open the front door and quit the cottage. The tumult of her mind was now painfully great. She knew not how to support herself, and she collapsed on the sofa. She cried to herself for a few moments, until a small cloth dropped on her horn.

"Huh?" Rarity asked. She grabbed the cloth, which was a hoofkerchief, and used it to dry her eyes. "Thank you, Sweetie Belle."

"See, I told you I can do levitation!"

"Yes, but you dropped it on her head," Mr. Bennet remarked. "Are you well, Rarity?"

"I-I'm fine," Rarity said. "It's...been a difficult night."

"So I heard," Mr. Bennet said. "You know, given the stressful situation here, I think it might be best if we avoided going to the wedding rehearsal tomorrow. We could go to downtown Canterlot instead. I believe that's where the Apple Family lives."

"I can see Applebloom again?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Yes, and I can talk with Big Macintosh," Mr. Bennet said. "What say you, Rarity? Would you care to join us? There is no need of your staying here with...the unpleasant ponies in the estate."

"Yes, I-I would enjoy that very much," Rarity said.

"Excellent. In that case, I recommend you go to bed. The hour is late, and you have had quite enough excitement for one day."

"Thank you, Father," Rarity said, getting up off of the sofa.

Mr. Bennet embraced his daughter warmly. "I love you, Rarity. If you ever need to talk, I'm always here for you."

"Me too!" Sweetie Belle said, joining the family hug.

"I love you both so much," Rarity said. She took a deep breath. "And you need not concern yourselves with me. I followed the most logical and honorable course of action, and there is never any shame in that."

"It is my experience that matters of the heart are not always logical and honorable," Mr. Bennet smiled, "Mr. Darcy being a prime example. What possessed him to come here tonight? I was under the impression that he hated you."

"I have no idea what changed his mind," Rarity said honestly. "But since he is as odious as ever, my opinion of him remains unchanged."

Rarity left for her bedroom. After she was gone, Sweetie Belle asked her father if Rarity was going to turn down every stallion who asked for her favor.

"Perhaps. I never much cared for that stallion. I find it odd that he only refers to himself by his surname."

Chapter 20

"You have received a letter," said Mr. Bennet to Rarity the following morning. "Judging from the thickness of the envelope, it is a long letter indeed."

"Who is it from?" Rarity asked.

"Why, none other than Mr. Darcy, you favorite stallion in the entire world!"

"...He wrote me a letter."

"I would venture a guess that he writes better than he speaks," Mr. Bennet said. "He came here to deliver the letter himself, and he desires that you give him the honor of reading it."

With no expectation of pleasure, but with the strongest curiosity, Rarity opened the letter.

Rosings, Lady Chrysalis' Estate. April the Second, 8:00 AM.

To Miss Rarity Bennet:

Be not alarmed, madam, upon receiving this letter, for fear of its containing any repetition of those sentiments or renewal of those offers which were last night so disgusting to you. I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on impossible wishes. I believe that, for the sake of your happiness and mine, the events of last night cannot be too soon forgotten. You must, therefore, forgive me for demanding your attention here, for I know that you will bestow it unwillingly.

Two offenses of a very different nature, and by no means of equal magnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The first mentioned was, that, regardless of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley from your sister, and the other, that I had, in defiance of honor and justice, ruined the immediate prosperity and blasted the prospects of Mr. Blueblood Wickham. You are correct in asserting that it would be a depravity to have willingly and wantonly thrown off the companion of my youth, the acknowledged favorite of my father, a young man who had scarcely any other dependence than on our patronage, and who had been brought up to expect its exertion. There could be no comparison between this atrocity and the separation of two young ponies, whose affection could only be the growth of a few weeks. I should have defended myself on both counts, but I was taken aback from the severity of that blame which was last night so liberally bestowed, respecting each circumstance. I shall hope to be secured in the future, when the following account of my actions and their motives has been read. If, in the explanation of them, I am under the necessity of relating feelings which may be offensive to yours, I can only say that I am sorry.

I had not been long in Ponyville, before I saw, in common with others, that Big Macintosh preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country. But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment. I have often seen Big Macintosh in love before, and I believed his regards towards Fluttershy were no greater than that which he had bestowed on other ponies. You will recall that I had the honor of dancing with you at the ball, at which point we were interrupted by Lady Luna, who gave us the accidental information that Big Macintosh's attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage. She spoke of it as a certain event, of which the time alone could be undecided.

From that moment I observed my friend's behavior attentively, and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening's scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. The serenity of your sister's countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily touched. If you have not been mistaken here, I must have been in an error. Your superior knowledge of your sister must make this probable, and if it be so, if I have been misled by such error to inflict pain on her, your resentment has not been unreasonable. I apologize most heartily.

Upon reflection, I can see that I was desirous of believing her indifferent, but this was not my primary reason for separating her from Big Macintosh, as I will venture to say that my investigations and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears. There were equal causes of repugnance, which I had first heard through rumor, then later verified myself during the dinner at Netherfield. You will recall, of course, that I was seated next to your mother, and I had ample opportunity to hear her thoughts on the match of Big Macintosh and Fluttershy. She frequently, almost uniformly, betrayed a total want of propriety in boldly proclaiming that the two would be wed, and the primary advantage of the match would be financial, with the secondary advantage being that you and your sisters could likewise be wed to rich stallions. Her tendency towards radically impolite behavior was shared by your pink sister, your dragon cousin, and occasionally even by your father.

Pardon me. It pains me to offend you, as I surely have done by describing, however briefly, the defects of your nearest relations. Let it give you consolation that, to have conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure, is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your eldest sister. I will only say farther that from what passed that evening, my opinion of all parties was confirmed, and every inducement heightened which could have led me to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection. His sister Applejack was equally uneasy with the match; our coincidence of feeling was soon discovered, and we were sensible that no time was to be lost in detaching her brother. He was scheduled to leave Ponyville for Canterlot on the day following, with the design of soon returning, and we impressed upon him the necessity of making his departure permanent.

The part which I acted is now to be explained. I readily engaged in the office of pointing out to my friend the certain evils of such a choice. I described, and enforced them earnestly. But, however this remonstrance might have staggered or delayed his determination, I do not suppose that it would ultimately have prevented the marriage, had it not been seconded by the assurance of your sister's indifference. He had before believed her to return his affection with sincere, if not with equal regard. To hear otherwise was a great shock to him, and though it pained me to see him so wounded, I cannot blame myself for having done thus much to protect my best friend.

On this subject I have nothing more to say, no other apology to offer. If I have wounded your sister's feelings, it was unknowingly done; and though the motives which governed me may to you very naturally appear insufficient, I have not yet learnt to condemn them. With respect to that other, more weighty accusation, of having injured Blueblood, I can only refute it by laying before you the whole of his connection with my family. Of what he has particularly accused me I am ignorant, but of the truth of what I shall relate, I can summon more than one witness of undoubted veracity.

Blueblood's father was a very respectable stallion, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him. My father liberally bestowed the same kindness of Blueblood, supporting him at school and afterwards at Canterbridge. My father was not only fond of this young man's society, whose manners were always engaging, but he had also the highest opinion of him. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of Blueblood in a very different manner. As a young stallion nearly the same age as himself, I had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, in which he displayed vicious propensities and lack of principles, which he was careful to keep from the knowledge of my father. I perceive that Blueblood has created certain sentiments in you, Rarity, and I fear that here again, I shall give you pain, to what degree only you can tell. But your affection for him shall not prevent me from unfolding his real character.

My excellent father died about five years ago, and his attachment to Blueblood was to the last so steady, that in his will he particularly recommended it to me, to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow There was also a legacy of one thousand bits. His own father did not long survive mine, and within half a year from these events Blueblood wrote to inform me that he needed the thousand as soon as possible, saying that it was not unreasonable for him to expect the pecuniary advantage early, though he was not to receive it before having finished school. He claimed that he had the intention of using the funds to help him study the law. I wished, rather than believed, him to be sincere, and I was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal.

All connection between us seemed now dissolved. I thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley, or admit his society in town. In town I believe he chiefly lived, but his studying the law was a mere pretense, and being now free from all restraint, his life was a life of idleness and dissipation. For about three years I heard little of him, until he wrote to me again. His circumstances, he assured me, were exceedingly bad, and I had no difficulty in believing it. He had found the law a most unprofitable study, and he requested that I give him three thousand bits to secure a new livelihood for him, saying that I could not have forgotten my revered father's intentions. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances. Doubtless, his abuse of me to others was as violent as his reproaches to myself. After this period every appearance of acquaintance was dropped. How he lived I know not. But last summer he was again most painfully obtruded on my notice.

I must now mention a circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and which I would prefer not to mention to you or any other pony. Upon the death of our father, my sister Fleur was left to the guardianship of myself and my mother's nephew, Colonel Fancypants. About a year ago, she was placed in a boarding-school at Canterlot with a fine reputation for education. There also went Mr. Blueblood, undoubtedly by design, for there proved to have been a previous acquaintance between himself and the headmistress, Sunset Shimmer, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived. By her contrivance and aid, Blueblood so far recommended himself to Fleur, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in love, and to consent to an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse.

I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement, and then Fleur, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father, acknowledged the whole scheme to me. You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Regard for my sister's credit and feelings prevented any public exposure, but I had no such qualms about dealing with Blueblood, who immediately left the place before I could reach him. Fleur was removed from Sunset Shimmer's care. Blueblood's chief object was unquestionably my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand bits, but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been complete indeed.

This, madam, is a faithful narrative of every event in which we have been concerned together, and if you do not absolutely reject it as false, you will, I hope, acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards Blueblood Wickham. I know not in what manner, under what form of falsehood he has imposed on you, but his success is perhaps not to be wondered at, ignorant as you previously were of everything concerning either. Detection could not be in your power, and suspicion certainly not in your inclination.

You may possibly wonder why all this was not told you last night; but I was not then master enough of myself to know what could or ought to be revealed. For the truth of everything here related, I can appeal more particularly to the testimony of Colonel Fancypants, who, from our near relationship and constant intimacy, and, still more, as one of the executors of my father's will, has been unavoidably acquainted with every particular of these transactions. If your abhorrence of me should make my assertions valueless, you cannot be prevented by the same cause from confiding in my cousin. That there may be the possibility of consulting him, I shall endeavor to find some opportunity of getting this letter in your hooves in the course of the morning. I will only add, God bless you.

FANCYPANTS DARCY

"I have been the world's greatest fool," Rarity said.

Chapter 21

"Alas, cruel fate!" Rarity cried. "What bitter irony! In wounding Darcy, I have wounded myself all the more! O self-inflicted wound of fate, / why stingest thou myself so late?"

"She's acting weird again," Sweetie Belle commented.

"Your sister can be a drama queen sometimes," Mr. Bennet said. "She gets it from your mother."

"I hated him, Father!" Rarity said. "I hated Darcy, because I perceived he was prideful and overquick to judge! But now I see that I was the vain one who judged unjustly! I accused him of being the villain, when he is a stallion of the highest caliber! No fault can be found in his actions, which I had charged against him as eternal proof of his wickedness!"

"Do calm down," Mr. Bennet said, taking the letter from Rarity. "I believe I shall judge the contents of this letter."

Rarity bewailed the current circumstances, especially the fact that she had been so easily deceived by the foul Blueblood. Sweetie Belle tried jumping up next to her father to see the letter. "What's it say?" she asked.

"Quite a lot," Mr. Bennet said, skimming through the paragraphs. "For the sake of your happiness and mine...blah blah blah...no comparison between this atrocity and...ah, here we go! I had not been long in Ponyville, before I saw that Big Macintosh preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country. But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment."

Mr. Bennet silently read the six paragraphs about Fluttershy and Big Macintosh. A frown appeared on his face as he re-read it. "So that's why Big Macintosh left Ponyville," he said at length. "I can see that I find this explanation less satisfactory than you do, Rarity, but I am glad to finally know the truth."

"What's the truth?!" Sweetie Belle whined.

"It was all a humongous misunderstanding. Mr. Darcy received the wrong impression of Fluttershy, because your mother couldn't keep her mouth shut," Mr. Bennet said, shaking his head. "I remember that night at Netherfield. She wouldn't stop talking about how rich and handsome Big Macintosh was, even when I told her to stop."

"You can't pin the blame entirely on Mother," Rarity said. "Mr. Darcy also mentions that he disapproved of a certain stallion who turns everything into a joke."

"I have no idea who he's talking about there," Mr. Bennet said. "There's certainly no wise-cracking stallion like that in our family."

The three unicorns traveled by carriage to Downtown Canterlot. The letter from Mr. Darcy only increased their desire to talk to the Apple Family, but as they were unfamiliar with the area, it took over a half-hour of searching before a familiar face appeared.

"Sweetie Belle? Is is you!" a red-maned filly said. "What are you doing all the way in Canterlot?"

"Appleblo—oh, no WAY! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Huh? What is it?"

"Applebloom got her cutie mark!" Sweetie Belle cried.

Applebloom proudly displayed her flank for all the Bennets to see. "I got it two weeks ago! What do you think?"

"An apple," Mr. Bennet said. "Very creative."

"Why am I the only pony not to have a cutie mark?!" Sweetie Belle moaned.

"Applebloom, is your family nearby?" Rarity asked. "We need to speak to your brother."

"It's about Fluttershy, ain't it?" Applebloom asked. "Yeah, they're not too far. I'll take you."

"Thank you, Applebloom," Mr. Bennet said.

Applebloom described how she got her cutie mark in tremendous detail, as she led them two blocks to her family's stall. Big Macintosh was seated behind the stall, looking doleful, until he saw the Bennets. His eyes lit up and he burst forward with fervor, jumping on top of Mr. Bennet.

"Is it true?" he asked. "Does my shmoopy-doo still love me?"

"Oof," Mr. Bennet said. "A pleasure to see you again, good sir."

"Oh, um...sorry," Mr. Macintosh said, helping the other stallion off of the ground. "I got a little excited, that's all. See, Mr. Darcy sent me a letter today about—"

"He sent you a letter, too?" Rarity asked.

"Eeeyup," Big Macintosh said. "He said that he talked with one of Fluttershy's sisters, and he was wrong about everything! So is it true? Does she love me?"

"She...she certainly cares for you a good deal," Mr. Bennet said, a bit hesitant to use the word "love".

"Yeeeeehaw!" Big Macintosh cheered. "It like to broke my heart when I heard she didn't care for me! It's been a month, and I still can't stop thinking about her! She's different from all the other mares I've met!"

"He's been real mopey ever since we left Ponyville," Applebloom said.

"Fluttershy's been acting the same way," Sweetie Belle said.

"Thought so," Applebloom said. "Grown-ups are weird. If they like each other, why can't they say so?"

"Yeah, like, Rarity talked with Mr. Darcy last night, and—"

"That's enough of that conversation, Sweetie Belle," Rarity told her sister.

Meanwhile, Mr. Bennet apologized to Big Macintosh for his wife's indiscretions. This was unnecessary, as Mr. Macintosh was not upset about what happened in the slightest, as he was too busy being pleased to hear that Fluttershy didn't hate him. Big Mac wanted to go to Ponyville immediately and sweep Fluttershy off of her hooves, but Mr. Bennet convinced him that it would be smarter to contact her before visiting out of the blue.

The Bennets ended up spending the day with the Apple Bingley Family, and after dinner, they took a carriage back to Rosings. Along the way, Rarity wondered what she could possibly say to Mr. Darcy when they arrived. An apology was surely in order, but how could she properly apologize for what she had said to him? And further, would Mr. Darcy even listen to such an apology?

All thoughts of Mr. Darcy were banished from Rarity's mind, when the group returned to their cottage to find Twilight and Spike waiting for them.

"Where have you been?" Twilight demanded. "We've been waiting for you for hours!"

"I-I'm sorry," Rarity said. "We were in town. What's wrong?"

"It's a disaster!" Spike said. "Our family is going to be ruined! Destroyed!"

"Spike puked up a letter for you during the wedding rehearsal," Twilight said.

"I don't puke letters," Spike said. "I just...magically send and receive them using my fire breath."

"I know that, Darling," Twilight said, rubbing the top of Spike's head affectionately. "I'm just joking with you."

"Anyway, you have to read the letter!" Spike said. "It's from your wife!"

"Okay, okay," Mr. Bennet said easily. "I wasn't aware that today was 'Write Letters to Other Ponies Day', that's all."

Mr. Bennet's good humor disappeared as he read the already-opened letter. "WHAT?" he shouted. "PINKIE PIE IS MARRIED?"

Rarity and Sweetie Belle let out equal gasps of astonishment. "Impossible!" Rarity said. "She turned eighteen yesterday! Who could she have married?"

"Blueblood Wickham!" Mr. Bennet said. He collapsed onto the nearby sofa. "Of all the things that could have happened, this is THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!"

Chapter 22

The Bennets wanted to return to Ponyville immediately, but they knew that they couldn't afford to buy last-minute train tickets. It was decided that Mr. Bennet would travel alone, while Rarity and Sweetie Belle stayed for the wedding. Much was it to their surprise, therefore, to find that three one-way tickets to Ponyville had already been purchased in their name.

"Tickets from an anonymous donor," Mr. Bennet commented. "Somepony must like us."

"Either that, they they wanted to get rid of us," Rarity said darkly, thinking of Lady Chrysalis and Trixie. "Who else knows about Pinkie Pie?"

"Um...everypony," Spike said. "I kind of...interrupted the wedding rehearsal when the letter came on."

Rarity rolled her eyes and groaned. So much for keeping the family's problems a secret...

The situation at Ponyville was worse than Rarity expected. Pinkie Pie and Blueblood were both missing, and they could not be found anywhere in Ponyville. Blueblood seemed to have no close friends who could give news about his whereabouts, and considering the wretched state of his own finances, there was a very powerful motive for secrecy.

The only piece of information they had was a copy of Pinkie Pie and Blueblood's marriage certificate and an attached note from Blueblood, saying that the newlywed couple was quite happy, and that they would return after the honeymoon. Blueblood requested that five hundred bits of Pinkie Pie's dowry be given to his creditors, the Brothers Flim and Flam, while he would return at a later date to collect the remainder of the dowry.

Mrs. Bennet was distraught at the loss of her daughter, and she would not cease crying. Rainbow Dash blamed the entire incident on herself, because she wasted time getting her mother, instead of stopping Blueblood the instant she saw him kiss Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy was so upset that she stopped talking altogether.

Fluttershy broke her silence when Rarity told her about Big Macintosh and his desire to return to Ponyville, but the brief moment of joy was gone, all too soon. Fluttershy hid in her bed and spent the remainder of the day, petting her bunny. Occasionally, she muttered softly, but nopony could hear her words.

The sadness and weariness of the house was broken, when Mr. Bennet returned, shortly after nine o'clock. The heavy look on his face betrayed the fact that his actions had been unsuccessful.

"Did you find—?"

"No," Mr. Bennet said. "I talked with everypony in the Royal Guard, and they helped with the search. Wherever they are, they aren't in Ponyville."

"NOOOOOO!" Mrs. Bennet wailed. "He has taken my baby Pinkie away from me! If only I hadn't encouraged Pinkie's flighty behavior!"

"If only I had learned about his true nature sooner..." Rarity said. "We could have banned him from the house!"

"I have a meeting tomorrow with Flim and Flam," Mr. Bennet said. "I hope they can give us a clue as to Blueblood's whereabouts. In the meantime..."

Mr. Bennet used magic to open his saddlebag, where he pulled out a small sack and dropped it on the ground. "There were forty-seven train tickets purchased yesterday. These are the receipts. What time did they leave?"

"After seven," Rainbow Dash said.

"Thank you, Rainbow," Mr. Bennet said. "Could you go through the tickets and look for a pair with that timestamp? I'm exhausted from the trip and the search today. I need my rest."

"But Darling, you skipped your dinner," Mrs. Bennet said. "Have some food before going to sleep."

"I'm not hungry. I don't think I'll be hungry for a long time," Mr. Bennet said. "That's all. Line up, girls!"

The Bennet girls stood in a row, and he went down the line, kissing them all good night.

"Fluttershy, I have the Apple Family's address. Remind me to give it to you, so you can write to Big Macintosh."

"Oh...okay."

"Rainbow Dash, you will sort those tickets. I'm trusting you to find the right pair. Don't let me down."

"Yessir!"

"I apologize for taking you home early, Rarity. I know you wanted to be mare who catches the bouquet at the Canterlot wedding."

"It's perfectly all right. I understand."

"And you, Sweetie Belle. Now that Pinkie Pie is an adult, I suppose this means you're my only daughter who is still a foal."

"Uh huh."

"Well, since you're our last chance at happiness, we're not making any mistakes with you! No, I've got plenty of new rules for you to follow. No stallions are allowed to visit, balls are absolute prohibited, and you are never to stir out of doors unless both your mother and I are present."

"But Daddy!" Sweetie protested.

"Do not make yourself unhappy. If you are a good girl for the next ten years, we can review these conditions."

Mr. Bennet kissed his wife, and the two of them left for their bedroom, talking in low voices.

The next day's search yielded no tangible results. The Flim Flam Brothers could not do anything to help, besides for singing a song to cheer up Mr. Bennet's spirits.

Following the trail of tickets was a difficult task. It seemed that Blueblood tried very hard not to be found, as he and Pinkie switched trains four times over the course of their journey. After going to Trotsdale, Codsgallop, Whinnyworth, and Cleveland, the two of them arrived at Manehattan, a city far too distant and large to be searched. Undoubtedly, that was the reason Blueblood had picked the place.

Big Macintosh's letter for Fluttershy arrived that day. He apologized most profusely for leaving her, explained the circumstances of his departure, and begged her to agree to see him again when he returned. She wrote a lengthy response, which she refused to let anypony see. There could be no doubt as to the nature of her reply, though, as Big Macintosh arrived in Ponyville three days later, and the two of them were nigh-inseparable afterwards.

Meanwhile, the letter Rarity received about Blueblood's past actions was shared with the rest of the family. This led to a discussion of Rarity's fight with Mr. Darcy and all that had happened to Rosings. Mrs. Bennet was so upset over what happened to Pinkie Pie that she completely forgot to scold Rarity for turning down the richest stallion she had ever met.

Mr. Bennet kept the search going for two more days before ending it. There was nothing to do, but wait for the couple to return. That they did on April 8th, a week afterwards.

Chapter 23

The Bennets were eating lunch when Pinkie Pie walked into the room. "Hi, family!"

"Pinkie!" Rarity shouted.

Her family members fell upon her, asking a barrage of questions. She tried to answer them as best as she could. "We just arrived ten minutes ago. He's getting a hotel right now. No, he hasn't given me a wedding ring yet. What? Of course I'm not pregnant! We haven't even—well, I'm not pregnant. He doesn't spend much time with me, because he doesn't like going to the same places that I do."

"Pinkie, you have to tell us what happened," Rainbow Dash said. "How could you just run out on us like that?"

"I...I don't really remember that night," Pinkie said. "One minute I was having fun at my birthday party...then he was kissing me...and when I woke up, we were in Manehattan with a marriage license."

"There has to be more to the story than that," Rarity said. "You'd never run off with a stallion you don't love."

"I...I must love him, if I agreed to marry him," Pinkie Pie said. Her ears flattened alongside her head. "I'm sorry, Rarity. I know you liked him."

"I wish I had never met that stallion!" Rarity said. "That smooth-talking fiend!"

"This is a punishment!" Mrs. Bennet cried. "A punishment, because we ran away and got married without our parents' permission!"

"Whoa, what?" Pinkie Pie asked. "You and Dad—"

"Look, all that matters is you're here now, safe and sound," Mr. Bennet said. "We're going to contest the marriage, and you can move back in with us."

"I...I'm not moving back," Pinkie said. "I...it doesn't matter if Blueblood isn't the best stallion ever. He's my husband, and I have to stay by him."

"But he only married you to get our money!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Which is stupid, because we don't have any money! The most we could give him is ten bits a year!"

"He's not greedy!" Pinkie Pie said. "Just the opposite! He loves spending money! He took me to a lot of nice places places in New Yoke!"

"Did you actually see him pay for anything?" Rarity asked.

"Well...no...but I thought the food was free! After all, there weren't any prices on the menus!" Pinkie said.

"Darling, that means the prices are extra-expensive," Mr. Bennet said. "Either way, where is your hus—where is Blueblood?"

"I asked him to come with me, but I think he was scared you would hurt him," Pinkie said.

"He's probably right," Rarity muttered.

It was decided that Blueblood would come to the Bennet household for dinner that night. What was supposed to be a nice family gathering quickly devolved into a large confrontation.

"What? I told you to give the dowry to my creditors!" Blueblood said, slamming the table. "Flim and Flam will be furious!"

"They're in jail, and you should be, too," Mr. Bennet said. "I have no doubt that you were one of the customers in their illegal gambling organization."

"Gambling? Oh my, how horrid!" Blueblood said, in a fake voice. "I had no idea those outstanding gentlecolts were involved in something shady like that!"

"I find that hard to believe," Mr. Bennet said. "They sang about their illegal activities in public. Quite frequently, actually."

In the corner, Fluttershy was crying softly. Big Macintosh was nuzzling her, softly whispering that everything would be okay.

"Look, just give me the thousand bits, and we'll be on our way," Blueblood said. "We'll move to San Franciscolt, and never bother you again."

"But I don't want to move away from my family forever..." Pinkie Pie said.

"You don't have a choice," Blueblood said. "I decide what the Wickham family does."

"Don't talk to my daughter that way!" Mrs. Bennet said.

"Look, I'm a reasonable stallion," Blueblood said in a low voice, so only Mr. Bennet could hear. "If you want me to sign divorce papers and leave Pinkie behind when I go, it'll be an extra two thousand. That way, everypony wins."

"My daughter is not for sale," Mr. Bennet replied.

The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the front door. It was the town's faithful messenger, Derpy. "Papers for Big Macintosh Bingley!" she said, holding a small folder in her hooves.

Big Macintosh eagerly opened the folder. "Eeeyup!" he said. "This is it! I thought they'd never come!"

"What is it, Maccy?" Fluttershy asked.

"They're from City Hall," Big Macintosh said. "There was something fishy with that marriage license, so I did some digging there today."

"It's 100% legal," Blueblood said. "You can't prove that I forced Pinkie Pie to sign it."

"That ain't the problem. The problem's with the date," Big Mac said. He pulled out one of the papers. "According to this copy of Pinkie's birth certificate, she was born early in the morning, on April Second."

"Yeah, I knew that," Pinkie said. "But we celebrate my birthday on the first, because it's April Foals' Day and—oooh!"

"She wasn't eighteen when you married her!" Big Macintosh said, pointing dramatically at Blueblood. "That means the marriage is ill-eagle!"

"I think you mean illegal, Mr. Macintosh," Mr. Bennet said.

"Er, right, that."

"Impossible! I assure you that our marriage is on the up-and-up! My friend, Judge Sombra, oversaw the entire ceremony!"

"Um...maybe we should check to make sure—" Pinkie Pie began.

Blueblood scoffed. "There is no way that I would—what in the world is that thing?"

Blueblood pointed at the far wall. When everypony turned their heads to look, Blueblood quickly flipped the table over and ran out the room.

"H-he's getting away!"

"No he's not!" Rainbow Dash cried. She flew out the room and gave chase. Blueblood tried to fool Rainbow Dash by teleporting away, but she was able to tackle him outside of the Carousel Boutique.

It took some doing, but Rarity was able to convince Big Macintosh to buy her a two-way ticket to Pemberly, the following week.

The estate was more extravagant than Rarity had expected. The house was a large, handsome, stone building, standing well on rising ground, and backed by a ridge of high woody hills. In front was a stream of some natural importance which swelled into a lake, without any artificial appearance. As Rarity approached, a well-sculpted stallion who had been swimming slowly left the water.

"Mr. Darcy," Rarity said politely.

"Rarity Bennet?" Mr. Darcy asked, as he levitated a towel and began drying himself off. "I never expected to see you again. What are you doing here?"

"I figured out that you were the anonymous pony who bought my family train tickets to Ponyville," Rarity said. "I came to thank you for it."

"How did you know it was me?"

"It had to have been somepony who was at the wedding rehearsal. Nopony else knew about it," Rarity said. "And you saved Pinkie Pie, too, didn't you? Big Macintosh took the credit, but I know it was you."

"I-I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Don't pretend. Why would Big Macintosh think to go over the legal documents? He's a farmpony. You, on the other hoof, are a lawyer. Legal documents are your field of expertise."

"I...you are as perceptive as ever, Rarity," Mr. Darcy said. "Yes, it was I whoo figured out how to nullify that sham of a wedding. I just didn't want anypony to know about it."

"Why?"

"I...I feel everything which happened was my fault. I should have stepped forward to stop Blueblood earlier, but instead, I left him free to destroy more lives."

"No, I mean, why keep your involvement in the affair a secret?"

"You...I know you dislike me with a great passion, Rarity. If you knew the source of your help, you would have rejected it out of hoof."

"I was wrong when we spoke at Rosings," Rarity said, gently touching her hoof to Mr. Darcy's leg. "The truth is that you are a great and noble stallion. Your letter and your actions have proven this, beyond any measure of doubt. I no longer despise you."

"You do not?"

"On the contrary. I admire you greatly." Rarity kissed Mr. Darcy on the cheek. "Thank you for everything you've done for me and my family, Fancypants."

"Rarity!" Mr. Darcy said. "I-I..."

"Sadly, I must leave you now," Rarity said, with a touch of sadness in her voice. "The train doesn't stay in the station for very long. Goodbye, Mr. Darcy."

"Fare thee well," Mr. Darcy said, bowing slightly. "Knowing you has been a great pleasure."

Rarity turned and walked down the path. She had not gone far, when Mr. Darcy shouted at her. "Miss Rarity, wait!"

"Yes?" Rarity said, turning her head backwards to look at him.

"I...I will be at the wedding of Twilight and Spike. Can I expect to see you there?"

"I will save my first dance for you," Rarity said graciously.

"Excellent," Mr. Darcy grinned. "You know how much I detest dancing with complete strangers. I daresay I might have to spend the entire dance with you."

"Anything to make you happy, Mr. Darcy."

Chapter 24

Rarity returned home to find her sisters gathered around Fluttershy, who had a smile on her face and a ring on her hoof. "I am certainly the most fortunate creature that every existed!" cried Fluttershy. "Oh, Rarity! Big Macintosh came to call on me today!"

"What?" Rarity exclaimed. "I missed his proposal?"

"You knew he was going to propose?" Fluttershy asked.

"I suspected he would," Rarity said. "Oh, Fluttershy, I'm so happy for you!"

"Where were you today, anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I...I had some important business to take care of," Rarity said. "But it's over now. Where is Mother?"

"Where do you think?" Mr. Bennet asked, from his chair. "She is out, telling the good news to everypony in town. No doubt all of Ponyville will know of the engagement by sundown."

One morning, about a week after Big Macintosh's engagement with Fluttershy had been formed, as all the females of the family were sitting together in the dining-room, their attention was suddenly drawn to the window by the sound of a carriage, and they perceived a chaise and four driving up the lawn. It was too early in the morning for visitors, and besides, the equipage did not belong to any of their neighbors. Neither the carriage, nor the livery of the servant who preceded it, was familiar to them, and the mares conjectured who it could be, till at last the door was thrown open, and their visitor entered.

It was Lady Chrysalis de Bourgh. She entered the room with an air more than usually ungracious, made no other reply to Rarity's salutation than a slight inclination of the head, and sat down without saying a word. Rarity had mentioned her name to her mother on her Ladyship's entrance, though no request of introduction had been made.

Mrs. Bennet, all amazement, though flattered by having a guest of such high importance, received her with the utmost politeness. After sitting for a moment in silence, she said, very stiffly, to Rarity, "I hope you are well, Miss Bennet. That lady, I suppose, is your mother?"

Rarity replied very concisely that she was.

"And these, I suppose, are your sisters?"

"Yes, madam," said Mrs. Bennet, delighted to speak to a Lady Chrysalis. "These are Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie—"

"It is a pleasure meeting you," Chrysalis said, in a tone of voice which indicated the opposite. After a question from Rarity, she made a few perfunctory remarks about Shining Armor's wedding, then fell silent. Rarity was now completely puzzled. What motive could Lady Chrysalis possible have for travelling all the way to Ponyville to meet the Bennets?

Mrs. Bennet, with great civility, begged her Ladyship to take some refreshment, but Lady Chrysalis very resolutely, and not very politely, declined eating anything. And then, rising up, said to Rarity, "Miss Bennet, there seemed to be a prettyish kind of a little wilderness on one side of your lawn. I should be glad to take a turn in it, if you will favor me with your company."

Perceiving that Lady Chrysalis wished to speak privately, Rarity went to the girls' room to grab a parasol. The two of them left Carousel Boutique together and walked along the pathways behind the house. They proceeded in silence along the gravel walk, for Rarity would make no effort for conversation with a woman who was now more than usually insolent and disagreeable.

As soon as they entered a wooded area, Lady Chrysalis began in the following manner. "You can be at no loss, Miss Bennet, to understand the reason of my journey hither. Your own heart, your own conscience, must tell you why I come."

Rarity looked with unaffected astonishment. "Indeed, you are mistaken, madam; I have not been at all able to account for the honor of seeing you here."

"Miss Bennet," replied her Ladyship, in an angry tone, "you ought to know that I am not to be trifled with. But however insincere you may choose to be, you shall not find me so. A report of a most alarming nature reached me two days ago. I was told that you, Miss Rarity Bennet, had paid a visit to the estate of my own nephew, Mr. Darcy, with the intention or marriage. Though I know it must be a scandalous falsehood, I instantly resolved on setting off for this place, that I might make my sentiments known to you."

"There are rumors that I might marry Mr. Darcy?" said Rarity, coloring with astonishment and disdain. "If you believe that these rumors to be false, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far. What could your Ladyship propose by it?"

"I came at once to insist upon having such a report universally contradicted," Lady Chrysalis said. "You will tell everypony, at once, that there is no attachment between you and my nephew, and you will agree never to see him again."

"You ask a good deal from me, based on rumor alone," Rarity said.

"Let me be rightly understood. This match, to which you have the presumption to aspire, can never take place. No, never. Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter. Now, what have you to say?"

"First there is talk of Mr. Darcy being engaged to myself, now there is talk of him being engaged to Trixie?" Rarity asked. "Dear me, Mr. Darcy must be quite the busy stallion, if he has been proposing to as many mares as you have indicated. Next, I suppose, he is to steal Twilight away from Spike."

"Obstinate, headstrong girl! I am ashamed of you! Is this your gratitude for my attentions to you two weeks ago? Is nothing due to me on that score? You are to understand, Miss Bennet, that I came here with the determined resolution of carrying my purpose, nor will I be dissuaded from it. I shall not leave until I am convinced that you will not interfere with Mr. Darcy's engagement to Trixie, for his mother and I have planned this wedding, ever since the day of her birth."

"Dear me, that it is a very long time. It is a shame that Mr. Darcy himself is completely ignorant of the match."

"Tell me, once for all, are you engaged to him?"

Though Rarity would not, for the mere purpose of obliging Lady Chrysalis, have answered this question, she could not but say, after a moment's deliberation,
"I am not."

Lady Chrysalis seemed pleased. "And will you promise me never to enter into such an engagement?"

"I will make no promise of the kind."

"Miss Bennet, I am shocked and astonished. I expected to find a more reasonable young woman. But do not deceive yourself into a belief that I will ever recede. I shall not go away till you have given me the assurance I require."

"And I certainly never shall give it. I am not be to intimidated into anything so wholly unreasonable. If Mr. Darcy ever wishes to propose to me, that is his business and his alone. How far your nephew might approve of your interference in his affairs, I cannot tell, but you have certainly no right to concern yourself in mine. If I decide to pursue him, I assure you that no action on your part can possibly stop me."

"And this is your real opinion! This is your final resolve!" Chrysalis screeched. "You are just like your ill-raised father—scorning all judgment and decency for the sake of selfish gain! Very well. I shall now know how to act. Do not imagine, Miss Bennet, that your ambition will ever be gratified. I came to try you. I hoped to find you reasonable, but depend upon it I will carry my point."

In this manner Lady Chrysalis talked on till they were at the door of the carriage, when, turning hastily round, she added, "I take no leave of you, Miss Bennet. I send no compliments to your mother. You deserve no such attention. I am most seriously displeased."

Rarity made no answer, and without attempting to persuade her Ladyship to return into the house, walked quietly into it herself. She heard the carriage drive away as she proceeded. Her mother impatiently met her, to ask why Lady Chrysalis would not come in again and rest herself.

"She wanted to leave immediately," Rarity said.

"I hope you didn't offend her," Mrs. Bennet said. "What an honor to have such a distinguished guest! I suppose she was on her road, and, passing through Ponyville, though she might as well call on you to say that Twilight and her family were well. Did she have anything particular to say to you, Rarity?"

Rarity was forced to give in to a little falsehood here, for to acknowledge the substance of their conversation was impossible.

Author's Note

Outtake:

"I cannot believe the two of you are going to be wed!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Well...I haven't accepted the proposal yet," Fluttershy said.

"What?"

"I figured I should make him wait a few days before saying yes," Fluttershy said. "Rainbow says he deserves it for leaving me without any explanation last month."

"Good thinking," Mr. Bennet said.

Chapter 25

Rarity was most astonished. Lady Chrysalis, it appeared, had traveled by carriage all the way to Ponyville, for the sole purpose of ending Rarity's supposed engagement with Mr. Darcy.

Rarity could not determine where the rumors of such an engagement had come from. True, she had kissed Mr. Darcy, but that was just to thank him. Perhaps the rumors arose because Darcy was the intimate friend of Big Macintosh, and the fact that Rarity was Fluttershy's sister was enough to supply the idea. After all, the expectation of one wedding made everypony eager for another.

In all the excitement of the engagement, Rarity had forgotten that the marriage of her sister would being her more frequently in contact with Mr. Darcy. She was unsure how to feel about this fact. While the situation between herself and Mr. Darcy had been mended, Rarity had to admit she was partial to the idea of not seeing him again, until Twilight's wedding. That would give her enough time to sort out her feelings for the stallion whom she previously hated.

As it turned out, Mr. Bennet had been gone that morning, on a trip to Sofas and Quills, which remained one of Ponyville's most popular stores, even though it only sells two things. He returned home with a letter in his hoof, an upholstered quill in his pack, and a smile on his face. "Rarity," said he. "I was going to look for you. Please, come with me to my study."

Rarity followed him there, and her curiosity to know what he had to tell her was heightened by the possibility of its being connected with the letter he held. Or could it have something to do with the unhappy visit of Lady Chrysalis? The two of them sat down and he began to speak.

"Today is a very happy day indeed. I knew that Fluttershy was engaged to Big Macintosh, but I did not know that I had a second daughter on the brink of matrimony. Let me congratulate you on a very important conquest."

"You...you have heard the rumors?" Rarity asked. The color now rushed into her cheeks in the instantaneous conviction that the letter had been from the nephew instead of the aunt. Rarity was undetermined whether to be pleased or offended that Mr. Darcy's letter was addressed to her father, not herself.

"So, you do not deny it outright!" Mr. Bennet said. "That shall make this all the more entertaining, for I intend to determine the identity of your admirer. Spike did not mention the lucky stallion by name."

"Spike?"

"He wrote me this letter. He begins with congratulations on the approaching nuptials of my eldest daughter. No doubt, he heard about it through Lady Luna or one of her acquaintances. He continues, 'now let me add a short hint on the subject of another happy event. Your daughter Rarity, it is presumed, will not long bear the name of Bennet after her elder sister has resigned it. I am told that a young gentlecolt is pursuing her with great effort, and he is blessed with everything the heart can desire: splendid property, noble kindred, and extensive patronage. Yet in spite of all these advantages, I feel it is my duty to warn you and Rarity of what evils you may incur by accepting his proposals too quickly. You see, I have reason to imagine that Lady Chrysalis de Bourgh does not look on the match with a friendly eye.'"

"I...I see," Rarity said. "So that is what ponies are saying."

"Shall I continue, or can I guess who it is now?"

"It must be Mr. Darcy," Rarity said.

"Splendid!" Mr. Bennet said. "So the two of you have mended your relationship, after that brief lovers' spat, have you? Darcy shall make a most excellent son-in-law. I congratulate you most heartily, Rarity!"

"Th-this is not humorous, Father!" Rarity said. "I recently had an unpleasant encounter with a pony who believed these false rumors were true."

"Doubtlessly, you refer to your mother," Mr. Bennet said. "I wonder how she will react, if I tell her that you made a secret trip to visit Darcy at Pemberly."

"H-how did you know?"

"After the incident with Pinkie Pie, I have made it my business to ensure that none of my daughters leaves town without my knowledge," said he impressively. In truth, it had been told to him by Mr. Macintosh, when he asked the father for permission to propose to Fluttershy. "What happened during your visit, to prompt rumors of engagement?"

"I merely thanked him for buying us the tickets to Ponyville, and for his role in Blueblood's arrest."

"Ah, so he was responsible for that? I thought it odd, at first, that Big Macintosh should be the hero of such legal drama."

"I also apologized for misjudging him, and I showed him a sign of my affection," Rarity said. "That is all. Nothing which could be misconstrued as a proposal."

"I see. What sort of affection did you display?"

"...I kissed him."

Mr. Bennet fell out of his chair, pretending to faint.

"On the cheek!" Rarity quickly said.

"Break out the champagne bottles!" Mr. Bennet cried. "My little baby's getting married! Soon there will be tiny white unicorns running around!"

"It's not funny!" Rarity said. "Did you know Lady Chrysalis came to visit this morning?"

"Lady—what? That crusty old bug?"

"She heard the rumors about her nephew proposing to me, and she was furious! She ordered me not to see him again, and—Father, stop laughing! I told you that it's not funny!"

"This is the best thing I've heard in weeks!" Mr. Bennet laughed. "She—ha ha ha—Mr. Darcy—ha ha! When is the wedding date?"

Rarity frowned deeply. Even when Spike was in Canterlot, he was causing problems for her.

"I expect—ha ha—your mother will—*ahem*—" Mr. Bennet cleared his throat and put on his "serious father" face. "In all honesty, how do you feel about Mr. Darcy? I highly doubt you would travel all the way to Pemberly just to visit a casual acquaintance."

"I...my dealings with him have been...complicated. I welcome the opportunity for us to have a fresh start with each other. However, I have no delusions about the difficulties of being romantically involved with him. We live in completely different towns."

"You are being very sensible," Mr. Bennet said. "And I cannot deny that Mr. Darcy is a much better suitor for you than either Spike or Blueblood. Should you choose to pursue him, I shall not interfere. Your mother, on the other hoof..."

Chapter 26

Since both Spike and Lady Chrysalis had heard and believed rumors of the engagement, it could hardly be expected otherwise that Darcy himself should arrive before many days had passed. As his aunt did before, he invited Rarity to walk with him, so they might talk in private.

Rarity's family watched in confusion as the two ponies left with each other. "What possible business could he have with Rarity?" Mrs. Bennet asked. "I thought he was incredibly rude to her."

"He probably wants to talk about their upcoming wedding," Mr. Bennet commented. "According to Spike, Darcy plans on proposing to her."

"WHAT?" Mrs. Bennet, of course.

"Daddy's just joking," Sweetie Belle said. "Mr. Darcy's not gonna propose again, 'cause Rarity yelled at him the last time he did."

"Really? Great. Now I'm the only one who hasn't been proposed to yet," Rainbow Dash complained.

"What happened in Canterlot?" Mrs. Bennet screeched.

"What brings you all the way to Ponyville, Mr. Darcy?" Rarity asked.

"I came to congratulate my friend, Big Macintosh, on his recent engagement. Since I was in the neighborhood, I thought it would be advantageous to visit your family and offer them my congratulations as well."

"I see," Rarity said. "And I suppose your aunt had nothing to do with your visit?"

"Lady Chrysalis...does not know I am here," Darcy confessed. "But I had a most illuminating conversation with her recently, which, in part, helped prompt my visit. She says that she came here to speak with you the other day."

"That she did."

"There is no delicate way to put this. I heard that you outright refused to respect her and follow her demands to avoid me."

"Of course I did not," Rarity said. "I am not going to let some complete stranger order my affairs, just because she happens to be a Lady."

"And that is why I admire you, Miss Rarity. Like myself, you are strong-willed and unhesitant to speak your mind. It is a refreshing change from the women I encounter in Canterlot, who see me as little more than a talking wallet, to be appeased and gratified for the sake of a possible match."

"Such as your cousin Trixie, no doubt."

"The less said about my aunt's designs for Trixie, the better. More to the point, I understand that Lady Chrysalis asked if you would ever accept a marriage proposal from myself, and you...did not answer in the negative."

"I...yes, well...I said that if you ever decided to court me, I would decide for myself how favorably I should accept it."

"This has taught me to hope, as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before," said he. "I know enough of your disposition to be certain that, if you are absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Chyrsalis frankly and openly."

Rarity colored. "After I abused you so abominably to your face, you mean to say, I should have no scruple in abusing you to your relations."

Mr. Darcy shook his head, unwilling to blame her for the disastrous events at Rosings. "What did you say of me, that I did not deserve? For, though your accusations were ill-founded, formed on mistaken premises, my behavior towards you at the time had merited the severest reproof. It was unpardonable. I cannot think of it without abhorrence."

"I disagree, but we will not argue over who deserves the greater share of blame for that evening," Rarity said. "The conduct of neither, if strictly examined, will be irreproachable."

"You taught me a great lesson that evening," Mr. Darcy said. "I have heard ponies speak of me as selfish and overbearing, but by you, I was properly humbled. I could see how insufficient all my pretensions were, and my pride was duly deflated."

"I cannot agree, either with your assessment of myself as virtue's helper, or yourself as virtue's helped," Rarity said. "I think the truth is that you have always been a good pony, but you prefer to hide it from the world at large, as you have done recently through anonymous acts."

"I firmly disagree, Miss Bennet. I was raised to be like my family members, spoiled by fortune and favor, unable to control their tempers or to have concern for others outside of their social circles. You have shown me the error of my ways, and I am a much better pony for it. I cannot thank you enough."

"Your...you are too kind."

"As I believe I said earlier, I cannot ignore the promptings of my heart. I honestly and earnestly admire you," Mr. Darcy said. "Though it may be foolish, I must ask you again. Will you do me the honor of allowing me to court you?"

"Oh, Mr. Darcy!"

"Yes, Rarity?"

Rarity gazed into his eyes as their heads moved closer together. "You have something in your teeth," said she.

"Oh, COME ON!" a voice from the bushes shouted.

"MAKE OUT ALREADY!" another voice shouted.

"I knew it!" Rarity said furiously, turning on her sisters. "Sweetie Belle! Pinkie! Stop spying on me!"

Mr. Darcy paled, as Rarity chased her sisters away. "Is it too late to rescind my offer?" he asked.

"Yes. Now, come. If you're going to court me, you have to do it proper," Rarity smiled, "which means being introduced to my parents first."

Mr. Darcy gulped, but steeled himself in the knowledge that if Big Macintosh could do it, he could too.

To his credit, Mr. Bennet was able to maintain an attitude of seriousness during the entire meeting with Mr. Darcy. He broke out into fits of laughter afterwards, along with Pinkie Pie. Rarity angrily informed Pinkie Pie to show more respect to the stallion who had saved her from a lifetime of unhappiness with Mr. Blueblood Wickham.

Fluttershy was the most supportive of Rarity's pursuit of Mr. Darcy, as she was too kind to believe that he had ever done anything bad. Big Macintosh took all the credit for introducing the happy couple, and he dropped hints that a double wedding would be appreciated. The Apple sisters were mostly indifferent to the match, besides for saying "I told you her liked her".

Rainbow Dash did not particularly approve of Mr. Darcy, as she still thought he was prejudiced against non-unicorns. She went into a minor depression in the following month, which did not end until the yearly May Day celebration, where she caught the attention of all the town's stallions by being crowned May Queen.

Pinkie Pie felt that the incident with Blueblood was partially her fault, and she pledged to be more mature in the future. "Now I'm an adult, so I gotta act like it!" was her new motto. As proof of her new desires, she got a job as a secretary at City Hall. She wanted to quit within three days, but she stuck with the job.

Sweetie Belle eventually got her cutie mark in not bothering her old sister with pointless distractions while she was busy with work. That is a very good cutie mark to have, and all young fillies who hear this story should aspire to getting one of their own.

Mrs. Bennet quickly went from Mr. Darcy's harshest critic to one of his most ardent supporters. She insisted on cooking a humongous meal, made with all of Mr. Darcy's favorites, as an attempt to make sure he would never be too far distant. After Darcy went to the hospital with food poisoning, Mrs. Bennet wisely decided to take a less active role in the relationship.

Lady Chrysalis and Trixie were furious when they learned what Mr. Darcy had done, and they refused to talk to him ever again. Mr. Darcy seemed a bit sad about this, for the sake of his younger sister, but he told Rarity in confidence that he was much pleased that he did not have to hear his relatives' voices again. Colonel Fancy said he had no objections whatsoever, though he did find family gatherings a tad awkward afterwards.

Twilight and Spike (mostly Twilight) were happy for the new couple. She was especially pleased, when Mr. Darcy chose their wedding to be the place where he proposed to Rarity. Rarity accepted to the applause of the entire party, and everypony was greatly amused afterwards, when Rarity caught the bouquet.

As for Rarity and Mr. Darcy, what more needs to be said? It should be quite obvious to the readers that the two of them lived comfortably and contentedly in wedded bliss for the rest of their lives. Given their respective personalities, it was impossible for them to avoid the many arguments which arose over the years, but never did they have a fight so great as to intrude on their happiness. As Rarity remarked to her sisters, their lives would be boring without the occasional disagreement.

The End

Epilogue

"And that's the end," Rarity said, shutting the book. "Isn't that the greatest, most romantic story you've ever heard?"

"No," Sweetie Belle said.

Rarity's jaw dropped. "What? But it was fantastic!"

"Yeah, but you and Mr. Darcy were only in love with each other for the last two pages!" Sweetie Belle said. "I think it's more romantic when the two special someponies spend a lot of time together."

"Yes, well...perhaps you have a point," Rarity said. "Either way, good night, Sweetie Belle."

"Night, Rarity. I love you!" Sweetie snuggled into her blankets.

"I love you, too." Rarity turned off the light and started to leave the room, when Sweetie Belle spoke up again.

"You know, it's a good thing you finished the book tonight, because I go back to Mom and Dad's tomorrow."

"Yes. Maybe next time you stay here, I can read you Horse Sense and Sensibility. It's by the same author."

Sweetie Belle told the rest of the story to her friends, during the school day. It was a long story, and Sweetie couldn't remember everything, so it took a while. By the time Big Macintosh came to pick up Applebloom, the story still wasn't finished.

"I gotta go," Applebloom said, after Big Macintosh whistled for her. "But tell me what happens to my family first!"

"Big Macintosh marries Fluttershy, after he asks my dad for permission!" Sweetie Belle said.

"I knew it! They're the only ponies who actually love each other!" Scootaloo said.

"Eeewhat?" Big Macintosh asked.

"Don't worry, Big Bro! It's just a story Sweetie Belle's telling, where Fluttershy's her sister," Applebloom said.

"Yeah, you're not really married to Fluttershy! Not unless you want to be, I guess."

"Hold on a sec," Big Macintosh said. "You three are the reason why ponies think I'm in love with Fluttershy?"

"Ponies think you're in love with—? Oops."

"Sorry! I guess I shouldn't have told anypony."

"It's not my fault! Rarity told me the story!"

"Am I in trouble now?"

"Eeeyup."

Dear Miss Rarity Bennet,

While I may be desperately in love with your sister Fluttershy, my good friend Big Macintosh Apple is not. In the future, he would appreciate it if you could avoid spreading rumors about the possibility of their engagement. Not only does he find it most annoying, but the fair Miss Fluttershy was quite disturbed when your sister Rainbow Dash confronted her with rumors of their relationship.

Yours sincerely,
Edward Bingley

PS. Congratulations on your engagement to Mr. Darcy.

Rarity could not apologize enough to Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and the two older Apple siblings. Fortunately, it seemed that nopony else in town had heard the story, and Fluttershy was even inclined to laugh about it afterwards. Rarity was just relieved that her mother hadn't heard anything.

The entire mishap was soon forgotten, until two weeks later, when Fancypants had an opportunity to visit Ponyville. He always enjoyed Ponyville; the ponies there were open, friendly, and incredibly quaint. He was walking through town, when Sweetie Belle recognized him as the stallion who her sister spent a lot of time with at the Royal Canterlot Wedding.

"I know you! You're Mr. Darcy!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Excuse me?"

"Fancypants Darcy!" Sweetie Belle said. "My sister told me all about how she's in love with you, and you're gonna get married!"

"In-indeed?" Fancypants asked, nervously adjusting his derby hat. "And you are...?"

"Sweetie Belle! Rarity's little sister!" Sweetie said. "Wanna come in and meet my parents? Mom's been anxious to meet Rarity's new coltfriend!"

"Er, no, thank you," Fancypants said. The young filly's enthusiasm was quite charming, but he was a bit disturbed by what she said. "I...I have some urgent business to take care of, first. Perhaps I will see you afterwards."

"Okay! See you later, Mr. Darcy! Be nice when you propose to her!"

Ten minutes later, a loud scream could be heard throughout the entire town of Ponyville.

"SWEETIE BELLE!"

"Uh oh," Sweetie said.

Prologue

Twilight Sparkle and Sweetie Belle were walking through town together. Sweetie had just finished her second magic lesson with Twilight, and she was making good progress. True, she couldn't levitate objects yet, but with some effort, she could consistently maintain a magic glow for ten seconds.

To Twilight's surprise, a white stallion with a loud Hawaiian shirt was waiting for them outside of the Carousel Boutique. "Sweetie Belle!" the stallion said, lowering down on his haunches.

"Daddy!" Sweetie Belle cried. She ran and hugged him.

The white stallion introduced himself as Sweetie Belle and Rarity's father. He eagerly shook hooves with Twilight. "Any friend of my daughters is a friend of mine," he said. "It's nice to meet you, Twilight."

"Where's Mom?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Your mother is inside with Rarity," the stallion said. "You two go inside and chase her out, okay? If I have to wait much longer, I'll fall asleep standing up."

"Okay!" Sweetie Belle agreed. Twilight used her magic to open the front door of the Carousel Boutique, and the two unicorns waked inside. In the main room, Rarity was arguing loudly with a pink unicorn whose purple beehive hairdo was almost as gaudy as her husband's t-shirt. Twilight recognized her as a pony who had checked out a few travel books from the library.

"—saying that you need foals of your own!" the older unicorn said, glaring angrily at Rarity.

"Mother!" Rarity cried, stamping her foot. "I'm too young to have foals! Besides, I'm not even married yet!"

"And whose fault is that?" the older unicorn asked. "Last month, I set you up on a nice date with that farmer pony—"

"Which was an utter disaster!" Rarity protested. "Big Macintosh is my friend's brother!"

"How was I supposed to know that?" Rarity's mother asked.

"Gee, you could have asked, before you tricked me into dating him!" Rarity said.

Twilight grimaced, feeling uncomfortable to be watching this scene. She leaned a bit closer to Sweetie Belle. "Do they always do this?" Twilight whispered.

"Sometimes..." Sweetie Belle said.

The argument continued. "You can't fool me!" Rarity's mother said. "I heard rumors about some well-to-do unicorn from Canterlot coming to visit you last week!"

Rarity backed away at this. "That...that's personal," she said.

"You should have introduced him to me!" Rarity's mother said. "What was his name? I think it started with an 'F'. Flim? Flugelhorn? Fancy?"

Rarity's face was starting to turn a deeper shade of purple than her mane. Jumping in to her friend's aid, Twilight shouted, "Fitzwilliam Darcy!"

Both Rarity and her mother jumped backwards in surprise a bit at Twilight's outburst, and they turned to face her.

"Twilight, Sweetie Belle," Rarity said, in a voice which was a mix of exhaustion and frustration. "I didn't see you two come in! Mother was just leaving. Weren't you, Mother?"

Rarity's mother was not so easily distracted. "You're the librarian, aren'tcha?" she asked. "What was that name you said? Fits Durcy?"

"Rarity was meeting with Mr. Darcy," Twilight said. "He spends most of his time at his estate up in Pemberly."

Relief flooded Rarity's face, followed by a small grin. "His aunt, Lady Catherine, doesn't approve of our courtship," she said. "She thinks I'm too low-class."

"Hmph!" Rarity's mother said. She took a few steps over to Sweetie Belle and hugged her. "You two are the most wonderful daughters in the world. It doesn't matter if ponies look down on you for being poor. You're both high-class in my book."

Sweetie Belle muttered something about Diamond Tiara, while Rarity sighed deeply. "Yes, I know," Rarity said. "And no matter what I say, I do love you, Mother. Just...leave my love life alone, okay?"

"Only if you introduce me to this Mr. Darcy fellow," Rarity's mother said.

"I swear to Celestia that I will have Mr. Darcy over for dinner with our family, when he visits Ponyville," Rarity said, in her most sincere voice.

"That's all I wanted to hear!" Rarity's mother said happily. She started to leave the store, giving last-minute instructions to her daughters. "Take good care of Sweetie Belle this weekend, okay? Sweetie, no crusading. Rarity, no fashioning. Don't forget to do your homework, and treat each other well, okay? I love you both!"

"Bye, Mom!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Goodbye!" Rarity said, waving her hoof.

The instant Rarity's mother closed the door behind her, Rarity collapsed onto the nearest sofa. "Ugh," Rarity said, in an unladylike fashion. "How was the magic lesson, Sweetie?"

"Great!" Sweetie Belle said. "Twilight's really smart as a teacher! Maybe I'll get a magic cutie mark, just like her!"

Twilight chuckled nervously. "I'm not that good at magic..." she said.

"Thank you for helping out with my sister, Twilight," Rarity said. "And my mother. If you two hadn't come in—"

"Don't mention it," Twilight said. "We're just lucky your mom hasn't read Pride and Prejudice."

Rarity chuckled. "I do make an elegant Elizabeth Bennet, don't I?" she asked.

"Huh?" Sweetie Belle asked. "I don't understand."

"Mr. Darcy and Ms. Bennet are characters from a famous book," Rarity said. "If you want, I can read it to you sometime."

Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Sure, I guess," she said.

Rarity chatted a bit with Twilight, before the purple unicorn left to return to the library.

As the day went on, Rarity's thoughts kept returning to Pride and Prejudice. Now that Rarity thought about it, her life was a bit like that novel. She was from a family of all girls, and she had dreams of entering high society. Like Mr. Bennet, Rarity's father enjoyed telling jokes, and like Mrs. Bennet, Rarity's mother was overly obsessed with her daughters' love lives.

So that night, Rarity decided to read Pride and Prejudice to her little sister as a bedtime story. While Sweetie Belle got comfortable inside her blankets, Rarity picked up the book and began to read. "This is the story of a beautiful mare named Rarity Bennet, and how, to her great surprise, she found herself falling in love."

Sweetie Belle's nose wrinkled. "Is it really about a mare named Rarity?" she asked.

"It is now," Rarity smiled.

Chapter 3

"So, how do you like the party so far, Miss Bennet?" Big Macintosh asked, as he and Rarity danced in front of the barn.

"It's been wonderful," Rarity said. She cast a glance at Mr. Darcy, who was glowering at her and Big Macintosh. "It's just a shame some ponies don't seem capable of enjoying themselves."

Big Macintosh followed her gaze. "Ah," he chuckled. "Don't mind my friend none. He's a lawyer. They ain't allowed to have fun."

Rarity laughed theatrically, and she grinned when she saw Mr. Darcy get up and walk away, scowling. "Why did you invite such a stick-in-the-mud to a party like this, anyway?"

"I kinda had to," Big Macintosh said. "He's gonna be staying in town for a little while, helping me with all the paperwork and such for the farm. I imagine he'll leave after that."

"Do you intend to stay in Ponyville very long?" Rarity asked.

"Well, I should probably leave once I get the farm business up and going," Big Macintosh said. "But there might be something to keep me here a while longer."

"Something or somepony?" Rarity asked pointedly.

Big Macintosh chuckled again. "There are some very nice ladies here in Ponyville," he said. "I certainly wouldn't mind getting to know some of them better."

The song came to an end, and the two dance partners broke off. Big Macintosh went to find another dance partner, while Rarity went to speak with Twilight Sparkle. Twilight and Rarity were the dearest of friends, both of them being unicorns. Twilight was much older than Rarity, at age twenty-seven, but at present, she was acting like a much younger pony.

"How did you enjoy dancing with Big Macintosh?" Twilight asked giddily. "Isn't he charming?"

"He is perfectly gentleman-like," Rarity said. "But I do not think he is interested in me. Another pony has caught his eye."

Twilight squealed. "Maybe it's me!" she said. "I hope he likes me. He did pick me to be his first dance partner of the night, after all. I was very affectionate when we were together."

"Affectionate? You?" Rarity asked. "It's not like you to be so...forward, with a stallion you've just met."

"Yes, well..." Twilight said. "It's been a long time since a new stallion has come to town, and my mother..."

"Say no more," Rarity said. Twilight's mother, Lady Luna, was even more obsessed with relationships than Mrs. Bennet, if that was possible. Whenever Lady Luna started shouting about her daughter being single, everypony had the urge to run and hide. "My mother is certain that Fluttershy will find true love tonight."

"She might not be wrong," Twilight said, gazing forlornly at the dance floor, where Fluttershy was dancing with Big Macintosh for the third time.

Eventually, the night came to an end, and everypony left for home. As the Bennet family took their carriage to the Carousel Boutique, they all discussed the party. Mr. Bennet was the first to declare that it had been a tiresome event, with too much dancing and not enough desserts. His wife and daughters soon overrode his opinion.

Pinkie Pie had enjoyed herself; she had a partner for every single dance, and that was all she cared about. Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle had tried to befriend Big Macintosh's somewhat haughty sisters. Sweetie Belle was successful in winning over Apple Bloom, but Rainbow Dash had brought out Applejack's competitive side; the two of them had argued over who was the most athletic.

Sensing it was her turn to speak, Rarity said, "I had a perfectly enjoyable time, speaking with Twilight."

"Oh, Rarity, you don't have to pretend!" Mrs. Bennet said, hugging her daughter. "I heard all about what that dreadful Mr. Darcy said! Who does he think he is, insulting you like that?"

"I could care less what Mr. Darcy thinks," Rarity said. "He is not worth my time."

"The most handsome stallion at the party, spurning my daughter!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Why, if this story gets out, you may never find a date again! You'll die an old maid!"

"Eh, he wasn't that good looking," Rainbow Dash said.

"No way, he was smoking hot!" Pinkie Pie said. "But he was a jerk! He didn't want to talk to me either!"

"Two of my daughters spurned!" Mrs. Bennet said. "This Mr. Darcy has irreparably insulted our family! My dear Mr. Bennet, you must defend the honor of our name by challenging him to a duel!"

"Can't I challenge him to a game of checkers instead?" Mr. Bennet asked.

"He is only going to be in town for a short time," Rarity said. "Hopefully, a very short time. After that, I imagine Mr. Darcy can go back to admiring himself, full time."

"Um..." Fluttershy said in a small voice. "He can't be that bad, if he's friends with Mr. Macintosh. I don't think Mr. Macintosh would be friends with a mean pony..."

"And Fluttershy!" Mrs. Bennet said, fondly nuzzling her daughter. "You were the triumph of the night! When is your date with Mr. Macintosh?"

"D-date?" Fluttershy asked, turning red. "We...we didn't talk about...that..."

"But you danced with him four times!" Mrs. Bennet said. "He only danced once with every other mare! He clearly favors you, as his mare of choice!"

"Oh, no, he was just being friendly," Fluttershy said. "I'm sure he's not interested in courting me."

But when Fluttershy was alone with Rarity and Rainbow Dash, her cautious assessment of Big Macintosh Bingley was thrown aside, in favor of direct admiration.

"He is just what a young stallion ought to be!" Fluttershy said, opening her wings halfway. "He's sensible, good-humored and lively! I never saw such happy manners!"

"I'm glad you found somepony you like, 'Shy," Rainbow Dash said.

"He is also handsome," Rarity remarked. "And certainly, a young stallion ought to be handsome, if he possibly can. It completes his character."

"I was so flattered when he asked me to dance with him more than once," Fluttershy said. "I did not expect such a compliment."

"Why shouldn't he ask you to dance more than once?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Any other stallion would have done the same. You were about five times as pretty as every other mare in the room."

"I agree," Rarity said. "And I approve of Mr. Macintosh. You have liked many a stupider pony."

"Rarity!" Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash cried.

"I'm just saying, you can sometimes be too kind for your own good," Rarity said. "But I don't think we have to worry about that in Mr. Macintosh's case. He seems like a perfect gentlecolt."

"I think so, too," Fluttershy said. She blushed. "I really like him. I hope I get to see him again..."

"Well, there's only one way to make sure that happens," Rainbow Dash said.

"What?" Rarity asked.

"You have to go visit him," Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh, no, I couldn't!" Fluttershy said. "I'm sure he's busy, and it'd be awfully rude to just barge in unexpectedly, and I...I..."

"Weren't you just saying how much you like him?" Rainbow Dash asked. "He likes you, too, you know. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Fluttershy gulped. "I...I'll do it," she said at last. "But you have to help me."

Rarity and Rainbow Dash immediately agreed.

Interlude

Rarity put down the copy of Pride and Prejudice. "That's the end of Volume One," she said. "I'll read you the rest of the story later."

"But...but I wanna know what happened!" Sweetie Belle said. "What happened to Mr. Blueblood? Why did Big Macintosh leave Fluttershy? Are Spike and Twilight really getting married?"

"You'll find out tomorrow," Rarity said. "Right now, it's time for you to go to sleep."

"Aw..." Sweetie Belle said. Then she brightened. "Hey, I'm visiting Applebloom tomorrow! Maybe I can ask Big Mac why he left!"

Rarity immediately paled. "No!" she said. "Sweetie, this is just a made-up story! It's not real! You can't talk to Big Macintosh about it."

"What about Spike? I think he should know that you secretly hate him."

"What? I adore Spikey-Wikey!" Rarity said.

"But in the story, he's annoying and mean!"

"Yes, well, that's just a story!" Rarity said. She foresaw a coming disaster, if news of this story became public knowledge. "Sweetie Belle, I want you to promise me that you won't talk about this story to anypony in the book. No talking to Twilight, to Pinkie Pie, or even to Applebloom!"

"Really? But it's a fun story!"

"Promise me!" Rarity insisted.

"Okay, I promise," Sweetie Belle said. "I won't tell any of the ponies about the story they're in. Okay?"

"That's good," Rarity said, kissing her little sister's forehead. "Good night, Sweetie Belle. I love you."

"I love you, too, Rarity."

Sweetie Belle kept her promise. She didn't tell the story to one of the ponies in the book. Instead, she told it to her friend Scootaloo, who wasn't a character in Rarity's story.

Now, obviously, it wasn't Sweetie Belle's fault that Applebloom was there too, and she heard the whole thing. And you really couldn't blame Sweetie Belle because Scootaloo told Rainbow Dash and Applebloom told Applejack. And if a few of the story's details got lost in translation, clearly, Sweetie Belle was not responsible.

The fact remains, however, that Rainbow Dash and Applejack both heard about a romantic break-up between Fluttershy and Big Macintosh. Naturally, the two of them were calm and level-headed, and they took a moment to think things through before...nah, I'm just kidding. They immediately stormed Fluttershy's cottage, where Big Macintosh was helping Fluttershy make a birdhouse.

"Ooo, be careful!" Fluttershy said. "You don't want to break it!"

Big Macintosh nodded to indicate he understood. He was about to hammer in the final nail, when the front door slammed open.

"BIG MAC!" Applejack shouted. "What in tarnation are you doin' with Fluttershy?"

"Stop right there, buddy!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

Big Macintosh accidentally dropped the hammer, smashing the birdhouse. Fluttershy was equally surprised. "Oh, hello there," she said. "What's wrong?"

"Don't act like you don't know!" Rainbow Dash said. "We heard all about your secret relationship! You've been dating for months now!"

"What?" Fluttershy gasped.

"How long did you think you could get away without tellin' us?" Applejack demanded. "Big Mac, I thought you were better than that!"

"I can't believe you two are special someponies!" Rainbow Dash said. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh, oh dear," Fluttershy said. "Big Macintosh! Is...is that why you volunteered to help me?"

"Nope!" Big Mac said.

"You don't have to keep lying any more!" Applejack said. "But you do have ta explain!"

"If you've been trying to take advantage of Fluttershy, I'm going to pop you one!" Rainbow Dash threatened.

"But I—" Big Mac said.

"It's okay," Fluttershy said, putting her hoof on Big Mac's leg. "I understand."

"What?" Big Mac asked.

"You're not the first stallion who's had a little crush on me," Fluttershy said. "But I...I'm sorry, Big Macintosh. I can't be your special somepony. You're just too shy and reserved for an outgoing mare like me."

Big Mac's jaw dropped.

"I still like you, and I hope we can be friends," Fluttershy said. "Okay?"

Big Mac closed his mouth and nodded silently.

"Huh," Rainbow Dash said, scratching her head. It looked like Big Mac and Fluttershy weren't a couple. Maybe she heard wrong.

"Come on, Mac, let's get home," Applejack said. "Granny Smith's got a lot to say to ya."

Big Macintosh shook his head. Some days, I have no idea what's going on in this town, he thought.