Chapters Chapter 1: Horses with Thu'um?!?
Sighing, Theresa took stock of what she had, making sure that nothing had fallen off or turned into a sweetroll or something even weirder, the Wabbajack had sent her somewhere, but Sheogorath sometimes had a sense of humor like throwing someone at a dragon, then turning their sword into bread and using the toast to eat the remains.
Chillrend? Check, slung across back. Full charge.
Well, everything seemed to be in order, except the cheese sack. Then again, he could of turned it into a sabercat or something even worse, so she supposed that it was better then some other things. Now, she needed to find out what of the 9 main species of Nirn inhabited this castle. After all, each had different way of patrolling, setting up traps, and the various other things a thief needed to know to get around. Looking at the doorways, she saw that they had a extended stone ridge above them, almost like a sunshade or porch roof. Those would make perfect hiding places, and she quickly climbed up onto one, wondering why any sane man or mer would make such a stupid mistake constructing a castle, a place that was supposed to be easily defended and hard to get into. She shrugged, and heard a click, click, click of boots moving down the corridor. She made sure that she wouldn't be seen from whatever was coming, and waited.
She did not have to wait long.
A horse, about her height, dark blue with a horn and wings, with a moon tattoo on its butt, and a mane that was weirdly wavy and made her want to cut it and see if it did anything else. It wore a crown, and a odd necklace, along with silvery horseshoes that were most likely what she had heard echoing.
"What. The. Fuck."
The horse thing turned around, and yelled something that sounded familiar, but she didn't recognize it, although the effect was quite obvious. After all, a wall of force was hard to miss, although it was easy to counter. " FUS RO DA!" The shouts slammed into each-other, and mine blew through the horse-things shout like a dagger through butter. "Hey, horse-thingy, you talk?" The horse, staggered by my Shout, opened it's mouth, and said something in a unknown language, although it seemed familiar. It's horn glowed a deep cobalt blue, and I saw that a aura of the same color was enveloping me. Damn, few mages can lift a person, and even though women are lighter, with all my gear I still weighed around 300 pounds. And this thing had lifted me!
"Let me go! Now!" I struggled, and the horse-thing winced a bit. Maybe it was keeping the air in place around me, instead of directly lifting me? "Oh ho, I think you fucked up. You see, you left my mouth uncovered. DU KEY LAH!" The shout formed as a black wave, laced with gold streaks, and when it hit the horse, the glow around the horn dissipated. "Heh, stupid horse." It covered it's head with it's hooves, in a odd gesture for a horse. I walked over, drew Mehrunes Razor, and slammed the pommel into the horn at the base. The horse-things eyes rolled up, and it fell limp. I leaned over, and reached for the necklace that it wore, when it suddenly slammed it's horn into my chest, piercing me through. I slammed the blade of Mehrunes Razor into the eye, and pulled the eyeball out, no time to play nice, and kicked it in the head, launching myself off the horn. Casting a quick healing spell, and drinking a potion, I got back up. The horse-thing was screeching at a volume that made my ears bleed.
"SHUT UP!"
I slammed the blade into the emptied eye socket, and drove it into the brain. Then it somehow got back up, and gored me again! "How the hell are you doing that?!?!" I switched to Chillrend, and slashed at the right wing, severing it. The amount of blood coming out of the stump, coupled with the eye being ripped out and a stab wound in the brain, would of stopped even a dragon, and the damn thing still lived! I launched myself off the horn again, this time slashing at it, trying to sever it. Some mages would put themselves in a object, and if the object was separated from them, they died. I hoped this horn was the same, even with draining the horse-thing of magic, I couldn't take another goring like that without being seriously wounded.
"Just die already, Talos damn you!" Healing my wound again, I noticed that Chillrend had somehow not severed the horn. The horse-thing had widened eyes, and appeared to be shocked that anything could cut it's horn, even though the blade barely cut through a quarter of it. It turned around, and began sprinting, and I couldn't have that, guards are annoying to deal with, and this horse-thing was probably important to some noble. I shot it in the right hind leg with a firebolt, shattering the kneecap, and bringing the damned thing to a halt. I slashed it's other wing off, and proceeded to slam Chillrend into the horn again, nearly severing it this time.
I raised Chillrend again, about to sever the horn, when it was yanked out of my grasp by a purple horse, this one with a horn. With the purple one were a orange horse with a weird hat, a white horse with just a horn, a yellow horse with wings that was cowering in a corner,a pink horse that was acting like a Khajiit on enough skooma to kill a giant. A cyan blue blur slammed into me, and I was suddenly on the floor with a cyan blue horse with wings, purple eyes, and a rainbow mane stood on me and yelled something in that weird language. These horses were all much smaller, although if they were all as powerful as the blue one, I had a problem. "Three words bitch: FUS RO DA!"
The cyan blue winged horse, who I named "Noisy" in my head, slammed into the ceiling, and I heard the wings, and probably several other bones, crack loudly. "Do you damn horses even talk?" Then you see a purple and green dragon, incredibly tiny and probably mutated, pop out from behind the purple one. "..Drem Yol Lok Dovah. Drey Key Lo Hiu?"
Author's Note
Du Key Lah: devour horse magicka.
"Look, whatever the hell is going on, I just want to find out where I am and stop being attacked! Leave me alone!" Theresa yelled at another one of those damned horses, no.... wait... A UNICORN! Bloody fucking hell, a unicorn? The Hero of Kvatch killed the last one, so how is one here? Did I travel through time and space? It just made a clumsy slash at her, not even coming close to cutting her as she deflected it with ease.Do these things ever fight? I saw better moves off bandits then that! She sighed, and raised her blade, about to slay the stupid unicorn, when the little pink and yellow ball somehow hovered in front of her. She looked at it curiously..
And met oblivion. Eyes full of fury met hers, and she stiffened. "....What are you? Some sort of lesser daedra?" She stared back, meeting the fury of this strangely scary yellow winged horse with the knowledge accumulated from a thousand dead dragons, the emotions of their lives roaring up inside her, filling her with power. She growled in fury, reached out, and snapped the wings off at the base. "Fuck with my head again, and I will give you to the lord of rape as a new playtoy." The little horse was shivering, so she decided that it had enough. She looked at where the armored unicorn was, and now around 80 horses, some with wings, some unicorns and all with armor, had arranged themselves in front of her. Standing in the center was a majestic sight, another winged unicorn but this one was pure white, wearing armor that appeared to be forged from some strange light blue-green metal. In front of it, in a golden aura, was a massive halberd. It was made of the same strange material, and looked extremely sharp. It had a filigree of gold on it, in the shape of a sun, outlining a masterfully carved ruby in the same shape. When she looked at the large, white horse, it had a tattoo on it's butt of the sun. Well, someones got a theme going.
"Screw this, 80 to 1 odds? Not gonna fight like that. Now, if it was more even..." GOL HAH DOV! The Thu'um manifested as a ring of golden light, ringed with white, and hit around 30 of the unicorns, and about 14 of the winged ones. It also struck the big one, but it somehow resisted it. She gave it a curious look, not even dragons could stand up to that! "What are you?" She asked it, and it responded with some sort of odd pulse, which looked like ripples of golden water, pouring out from it. The strange magic struck her, and her jaw dropped as her weapons appeared in a pile behind the strange winged horse.
"Oh, it is ON now, bitch. You took my weapons? Fine, then you die slower." She pulled back her hood, revealing hair that was a ebony black, skin of dragon scales, and eyes that looked like frozen diamonds, glittering with pure fury. The large white horse reared back, and slammed its front hooves into the ground, and the floor shattered beneath her feet. The Nightingale quickly reached up, grabbed the rim of the sudden hole in the floor, and pulled herself up, launching her lithe body into the ceiling, where she grabbed the one with rainbow hair, and ripped out a wing bone. She grinned, now she had a weapon, and with it, she immediately dropped down, and drove the sharp point of the bone, shattered from the impact of her wings on the ceiling, into the armored unicorns eye, causing it to drop its sword. She let go of the bone, and picked up the sword, swinging it a couple of times experimentally, testing the balance. "Not bad smithing for a bunch of retarded unicorns and mutated freaks." Several of the winged horses looked green, and the floor soon had a light coat of vomit.
The large one did something similar to what the other winged unicorn had, creating a wall of force with its voice. Oddly, it was not using the Thu'um, but something else. Are these things capable of mimicking the Thu'um? It looks like it. She merely said "FUS RO DA", and the wall of force created by the large white winged unicorn was canceled out by the force of the Thu'um. "Whatever the hell you are, you just screwed up by the numbers. Challenging me to a battle of shouts is the very last thing you want to do. YOL TOOR SHUL!" The stream of fire slammed into the large white winged unicorn, and dissipated harmlessly. It launched a massive fireball back at her, and she stopped it, barely. She charged, and slashed the first unicorn in the throat, grabbed that ones sword, and jammed them both into the chest of one of the winged ones, kicking the corpse off the simple blades. A bolt, similar to a firebolt spell, but golden in color, flew at her, and she dodged it with ease, killing another unicorn by gutting it while she rolled. She got up, and cut both wings off one of the winged ones, where it collided with a unicorn. They both collapsed, the unicorn from the impact, and the winged one from the fact that it had a horn sticking out of its chest. "SLEN TIID VO!" The world slowed down, and the Nightingale smiled. She ran over to the pile of weapons behind the large one, when it somehow managed to slam a wing into her throat, crumpling the esophagus. She collapsed, and her vision faded to black...
Chapter 3: Why not to lock up a thief.
Theresa awoke, grumbling slightly that she had been beaten by a "Fucking winged unicorn with a sun fetish" She attempted to stand up, and heard clinks, feeling a pressure around her lower legs. "...The fuck is this? Why would they put chains around my legs? Really, my opinion of these horses is dropping down like a dragon with a missing head." She grumbled, noticing that they, for some reason, hadn't taken her armor. "Hmph. So, did they seal off the little pocket dimension where I keep my stuff?" She reached behind her back, under her cloak, and pulled out a set of lockpicking tools. "Nope! Now, to leave, get my weapons, and then find that fucking winged unicorn that beat me. Might be able to beat me in a straight fight, but most things die if they have no time to react. If it is as tough as the blue one though, I probably should- why the hell am I talking to myself?" She bent over, crouching slightly to properly reach the locks on the chains. She felt around them, and they felt like the work of an apprentice, and were easily bypassed. The chains slid off with a THUNK, rather louder then steel should make. "The fuck? That sounded like gold!"
She carefully concealed her hands, and cast a bound dagger spell, quickly hiding the blade under the cloak. She sat and waited for her eyes to adjust to the gloom, otherwise she might strike sparks, which would attract guards, possible more of the winged unicorns. She could take one at a time, but multiple might actually be able to kill her, which was rather unusual for her opponents. Having of stolen the body of a world-devouring dragon by letting herself die so he absorbed her soul then overriding his soul with her own, then forcing it into a relatively human shape, generally did that to a person. Admittedly, she had gotten rather cocky, but that was rather justified. While she thought about this, her night vision came back. "Finally!" She gently slipped the blade along the chains edge, the daedric blade cutting the steel like butter, revealing a familiar metallic sheen. "They make chains out of gold here? Jeez, I've heard of golden cages, but this is insane! Do they have any CLUE how to restrain people? Then again, the steel was pretty bad too, so maybe they are just shit metalworkers. Hooves would be a pain to work with in a forge. Hard enough with hands." She stood up, and carefully examined the bars. Could they be this steel over gold mix as well? She drew the blade along the edge of the bar, and again the metallic sheen of gold showed up. "Ok, at this point, I am seriously considering just stealing all the chains and selling them.
She neatly cut the bars off, making a redguard-turned part dragon-sized hole. She pulled them out, and silently walked through the hole. She turned around, and lightly put the bars back in the hole, welding them back on with a simple flames spell, concentrated into a tiny, one-inch flame that burned blue. Best not to make whatever guards this place had suspicious, if the winged unicorns were the guards, then she would be FUCKED if she ran into a bunch of them. She blended in with the shadows, carefully avoiding even the tiniest glints of light. She slipped by a ordinary horse, this one armored with the unicorns and the winged horses she had encountered earlier, and kept going. Were the unicorns and winged ones the ones who fought, and the ones without either relegated to prison duty? It would make sense, prison duty was boring as hell from what she heard, and was considered a job that the shittiest guards were given as a punishment. Without a horn, or wings, the ordinary horses must have a big disadvantage in this place.
She quietly slipped by a total of 3 more armored normal horses, easily avoiding them. They were a bit like the falmer reversed, instead of being incredibly ugly, they were so cute that it broke the scale and went to ugly, instead of being blind, they had impossibly huge eyes, and instead of having incredible hearing, they seemed to have the ears of a dead duck. She sighed, it was really fucking annoying. She was used to having to disguise her noise, because she could simply stay behind someone and if she was silent, they never saw here. With these, she had to blend in, and look like the background, which was difficult in a location of which her knowledge could be summarized as: Stupid horses. Some unicorns, some with wings, some unicorns with wings. Unicorns with wings very dangerous. Make steel-coated gold chains. Not much to go on, for blending in with the background. Especially as the eyes would let them see behind themselves, like a prey animal. Most prey, like deer, had eyes to see all around them, to spot approaching predators, and predators had forward-facing eyes, to focus more on the prey.
She walked around, and found a strange hole in the wall. The horses walked right by it, as if it were not there. She closed her eyes, then opened her eyes, then opened her eyes again. Everything, even the air gleamed, like it was full of magicka, and the hole had a VERY powerful illusion spell on it, apparently keyed to the eyes of the horses, although it was hard to tell. It 'tasted' different when she looked at it. Almost like her own, but not the same, as if another her had done it, but was not a exact copy. It felt like a similar spell to invisibility, but directed towards eyes instead of light. Invisibility made light ignore you, this made the targets of the spell ignore you. It was fascinating, but she had to disable her eyes. She closed her eyes, and closed them again, then opened them. Now she could see normally, looking at magic for a while was NOT good for the eyes. She knew that strange tunnels generally led to loot, and loot was always good, so long as it was not too heavy. She crawled into there, dispelling the bound dagger in a tiny flash of purple. She crawled for what she estimated was fifteen minutes or so, noting the odd bits of chitin that littered the place. Was this a chaurus tunnel? She finally reached the end, and met a trapdoor. Not really a barrier, it wasn't even locked, and she pushed it aside with ease. She clambered up, and looked right into the face of a thing that looked like a chaurus and one of the winged unicorns screwed each other, then gave birth to something far too weird to be real. "What are you, creature?" It asked. "HOLY FUCK! You speak nordic!"
Author's Note
This was supposed to be from the POV of the ponies, but I could not get them to come off as anything like how they are depicted, and celestia came out as either pacifist to the point of stupidity, or a tyrant. Hard line to walk, that. Anyway, that was what caused the MASSIVE delay, this was supposed to come out a long time ago.
I know that everyone is probably expecting a update, but lore has gotten in the way. You know when Serana says that the Elder Scrolls are indestructible? That counters a part of the story that was critical to the plot. I tried to get around it, but I failed. Sorry. However, here are the notes, and how it was vaguely supposed to go. Do with it what you want.
Song of a Nightingale planning. Theresa tries talking to queen chrysalis, learns some basic data. Said data is: What pegasi are, what alicorns are, what ponies are called, a summary of the elements, how changelings feed (most likely gets a reaction of “not so different” out of Theresa) and after the not so different comment, a request for advice. Figure out line breaks. After a line break, have the weapons be located by the CMC. Scootaloo thinks the nightingale blade looks awesome, and picks it up in her mouth. As Theresa has parts of her soul in her weapons, it overrides Scootaloo, rips all data from the mind, and destroys the soul to charge itself. The scootablade then kills the other two, cleans it up, and hides the bodies. Then, it grabs the crossbows, and the bolts, and brings them to Theresa, because it wants to be back together with its other parts. Said blade, reunited with the primary soul part, will give understanding of pony, although human mouthparts are literally incapable of making the noises required, because Scootaloo’s soul, eaten, gave her knowledge to Theresa. This data will tell Theresa where the weapons are, as none of the ponies would touch them, because they “knew” to stay together, and zapped any of the ponies who tried to pick them up. When the CMC arrived, their minds were weak enough to be easily overridden, which was “seen” by the weapons. Said weapons will then be acquired for Theresa by the scootablade, because it is a useful minion. Next chapter.
Author's Note
So, after that wall of text, I have a few questions.
Prologue: Elder Scrolls and Buckets.
Theresa laughed as she waltzed through the guards, Castle Dour held no challenge for those with the Blessing of Nocturnal, the Mistress of Night. After all, how could you stop a being who you could not see, hear, touch or smell? The agent of stealth walked up to the great vault door, a smirk on her face. She took out her lockpicks, and began the touchy process of dealing with a master-forged lock. After she broke her fifth pick, she stepped back and frowned, examining the lock more closely. It was made of brass, and yet there was something familiar about it. She look more closely, and furrowed her brows in anger, for she saw the angular writing of the Dwemer, irritating little pests. Grumbling, she drew her dagger, a blade forged by Dagon himself. Nocturnal was not above allowing her servants to use the tools of other daedra, so long as they used them for her purposes.
"Sigh, time to go for brute force. I hate this method." She slashed the lock, right above the mechanism, causing it to fall to the floor with a great thud.Teleportation through Oblivion to Nirn, by a Psijic monk . This should work! Now, how do I do this?"
Half an hour later
Theresa's point of view
