It was the last days of the Empire of the Rising Sun. The wolves were at the gates, the Emperor was dead, Prince Tatsu was missing and the only thing that stood between the Empire and destruction was the Black Tortoise. Yet all was not lost.
For in the Empire's last dying days, a great device was created. Powered by the most powerful Japanese psionics alive, a collosal Psionic Decimator was created with the sole purpose of utterly smashing the Allies and the Soviets into oblivion.
It worked too well.
After it was fired, all the Japanese psionics who were powering it became little more than living shells. The rest of the planet was consumed in a great Psionic firestorm, obliterating all of humanity. The Allies and Soviets tried everything - overlapping Iron Curtians, cryogenics, tesla shielding, chrono-sphereing in time rather than space, orbital launches, everything.
Some may have succeeded.
Yet despite the massive amount of devastation, some life harnessed the energy and used it to evolve over generations.
Horses were heavily effected, those closest to the epicentre of the Psionic Decimator were granted the ability to harness its energy. Others in mountainous or open plains evolved wings and the ability to manipulate the weather. The rest were made stronger afas were the first to learn the art of farming. All became more intelligent and eventually became the various types of pony.
In some places, eagles evolved to become bigger and more intelligent, becoming griffons. Lizards grew bigger and grew wings and eventually turned into dragons.
No one knows where the Changelings or Discord came from.
The Tesla Trooper was the first to move. Breaking free of the Allies cryogenic prison was difficult but after a while it simply melted, letting the trooper free. He walked over towards the light switch, grateful his suit had the crude night vision systems of the Soviets. He hit the switch and the dormant generators fired into life for the first time in thousands of years.
Most of the lights were broken, the bunker was beginning to show signs of failure. He checked the stolen Allied watch he had added to his wrist to check how far in the future he had awoke.
"Three thousand years?"
He stared at the timepiece, unbelieving, before he began the awakening process for 42nd Tesla Tank Squadron.
One Apocalapse, one Trooper. All that remained operational of his once grand Squadron. The rest had crumbled away after the unfreezing process.
"Ha, Comvrade, we beat dem Japs after all!" The tank's Commander shouted from the cupola. "And ve're three thousand years post-annihilation, still alive, and..."
"Trapped in a vault." The trooper finished for him. "Does the m-harpoon and saw still work?"
There was a loud revving, signalling that both did.
"Good, Comvrade...?"
"Oleg."
"Milvoramvich, does your tank have any crew?"
"Nope! Apocalapses are one man machines of destruction. Although Natasha is sleeping in the living quaters on the MCV. I checked with my thermal scanners."
Milvoramvich nodded. "Call me Vilch, Oleg. I'll pilot the MCV out of vere."
"Da, Comvade. I go first vith the saw, you follow behind."
The Blue glow of a chronosphere depositation lit up the night.
"Three thousand years, dead on the mark!" The pleased Guardian Tank pilot shouted. "All other forces, report in."
There was static before "This... Vilch... 42nd...Tank Squadron. Digging from... Bunker 42. Two minutes out."
The veteran tanker sighed to himself. "Stuck three thousand years in the future with a bunch of Commies... At least Athena is still here, right?"
"I'm always here Mark." Athena's cold, synthetic voice stated.
"Allied MCV wreckage detected. I highly recommend checking for survivors."
"Thanks, Athena. I'll get over there right away."
Mark switched the radio over to the Soviet frequency.
"Vilch, Oleg, I've got Allied wreckage. I'm going to check it out."
"Roger that Comvade, Dastya is back online and conducting scans for other cryo-vaults." Vilch said over the radio.
"Dastya has also hacked the Empire's mind-drone network while we were in cryo and it turns out the psiconic firestorm affected the evolution of several species by a very long time."
"What, talking animals?" Mark joked.
"Yes, we've got talking animals, pegasi and unicorns."
"That was a joke by the way."
"I'm not joking. Ask Athena to check it out."
"Athena, is Vilch's claim true?"
"Possibility of truthfulness is 100%. Data gathered suggests this is also the case with a large number of other species. It also appears that the unicorn's horns act as a focus for the left-over residue from the firestorm."
At that point a familiar face raced out of the forest. Mark opened the hatch and yelled "Connor! Still carrying around that old shotgun of yours, I see. Get in here, we need to rendezvous with the Soviets."
Connor lept up onto the Guardian's back and clambered in as the tank turned and sped back towards the Soviets.
"Any idea where we are?"
"Three thousand years in the future, in the land of talking wildlife."
"You're mocking me?"
Mark turned to him with a serious look.
"Ok, ok! You're serious about it. We have a MCV?"
"A Soviet one. There's only five of us- me, a Tesla Trooper, a Apocalapse tank, you and Natasha."
"We got Natasha? The Natasha? Well, as long as we've got her, we'll be fine. Not even Tanya could take her and Yuriko's long dead. Were we an early or late chrono?"
"Early. The next is set for about a thousand years. Then after that, one chrono every two-hundred and fifty years."
"None of our own reinforcements then? How about the cryo-vaults?"
"If we find one we should be fine."
"And bacon?"
Mark sighed. Same old Connor.
"Warning. Settlement of intelligent equines to the south. Within hearing range of the Guardian's engine. Recommend undertaking evasive manuveres and regrouping with the Soviets or initiating first-contact without possible Soviet interference or intervention."
"Thanks, Athena. Great, just what we need. Now I wish we had a Mirage instead."
"Athena, will the Soviets ruin chances of peaceful contact?"
"Negative. Equines seem to be peaceful and pacifists. Shock may be evident as they appear to believe humans to be a myth."
"Mark, I vote we go in without those drunk blundering Commies trying to turn them into French horse steak."
"For once I agree with you, Connor. Let's move."
The tank ground into motion once more, heading towards Ponyville.
"Warning- flying pony detected."
"You are joking with us, Athena, right?" Connor asked from the usually empty loaders chair.
"I do not have the capability to joke."
"Connor, Athena just tells us what she sees with her eyes in the sky. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Flying pony has diverted course to intercept trajectory. ETA, two minutes and counting."
"Athena, I believe they are pegasi?"
"Reclassifying flying pony to pegasi. Warning- pegasi has exceeded Guardian's top speed. Recommend preparing for impact."
"Bah, what can a mere pony do against the might of allied engineering?"
"Comvrade Oleg, the Allies have attempted to make contact on their own. Recommend drilling to town named 'Ponyville' and either interrupting contact or making contact before the capitalist pigs so the ponies can be exposed to Communism before the capitalists expose them to their decadent ways." Dastya warned in her synthetic female voice.
"Oi, Vilch, Natasha!" Oleg shouted into the crude but simple radio "The capitalist pigs have attempted to make contact without us! I'll tunnel our way there!"
At this the engines of the Apocalapse and MCV roared into life before the Apocalapse, using its massive metal destruction saw, tunnelled it's way into the earth swiftly followed by the MCV.
Rainbow Dash stared at the strange object. It was big and unusual. Big meant dangerous and cool while unusual ment having to tell Twilight.
The sounds of laughter echoed through the Guardian as Connor and Mark stared at the rainbow pony on the screen.
"It has a rainbow mane and tail?" Mark kept laughing.
"And with its mane like that, it can only be a..."
The two friends stared at eachother. "Lesbian!"
They broke into a new fit of laughter. During this, Connor hit the external speaker switch.
The big object suddenly started to laugh very loudly. Rainbow Dash was not unnerved by the laughter itself but rather what it was laughing at. She looked around her and couldn't see anything that struck her as funny.
"What are you laughing at?" she yelled at the strange object. Or was it a creature? She couldn't decide.
Mark saw the strange creature shout at them but over Connor's insane laughter couldn't make out what was said.
"Connor, did you turn the external speakers on?"
"Connor, did you turn the external speakers on?"
Rainbow Dash thought the creature was talking to itself before a guilty voice said "No..."
"You idiot Connor, you did, didn't you?"
"Yes..." Connor replied to the first voice.
"Great, Connor, just great. Oi, wierd rainbow pony pegasus thing standing in front of me tank! I'd move unless you want to be turned into a flattened French wing-bone horse steak! Move! Now!"
Rainbow Dash tried staring the object down.
"Connor! Can you drive this thing?"
"No! The last time I tried, we ended halfway up Mount Rushmore when we were supposed to be destroying the power generators!"
"Redeem yourself then. And whatever you do, don't put that wierd Empire song through the external speakers. Please, the last time you played it the entire camp kept singing it for the next month. I'm going to have a word with our little disagreeable friend out there. Oh, and if I say so, flatten her."
"Right ho, boss."
"Athena, satellite status."
"Southern group 1 through 37 are dormant, 38 to 70 are destroyed and 70 to 100 have uplink problems.
Northern Group 1 through 97 have been destroyed by unknown phenomenia, 98 through 100 are operating at full capacity. Station Zero is still active and attempting to reactivate Southern Group satellites 1 through 37 and fix the uplink problems."
"Targeting status."
"98 is currently targeting a large nearby city, known as 'Canterlot'. 99 is currently tracking the progress of the Soviets towards Ponyville. 100 has locked onto nearest unknown, 'Rainbow pony pegasus thing'."
"Good... Did you say the Soviets are heading towards 'Ponyville'?"
"Yes."
"Connor, new plan. Run the pony over, the Soviets have taken up the gauntlet. We must beat them to the town!"
The object burst forwards, catching Rainbow Dash off guard and nearly crushing her into a pulp.
After narrowly escaping, she flew up and landed on a cloud to watch the object from.
At that point she noticed it was heading straight for Ponyville.
================================================
"The Capitalist scum have begun to move towards the town."
"Vilch, how's the MCV holding up?"
"She'll be fine Oleg. Just beat the Allies!"
"Optimal surfacing point reached."
"Thanks Dastya. Beginning surfacing procedure!"
The massive Apocalapse tore out of the earth in a blast of tree roots before crushing the apple tree that it surfaced next to. Paying only a cursory glance to the apple orchard, the Apocalapse swiftly ripped and shredded its way out, the MCV following close behind while the Apple family looked on in complete bewilderment as the metal boxes drove towards Ponyville.