Rise of the Paladin

by Brisingr

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Comedy
Length: 1824

A human, some ponies, and a can of kick ass await you!

Moises lived a fairly average life. A few mistakes, okay alot of mistakes here and there and all of that will change when an all too familiar creature arrives in his apartment asking for his help. So, in order to save lives, he must leave what little he has behind, forever.

-Rated teen for sexual humor, light gore, and indirect scenes of intimacy.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-02 21:37:23 UTC

Chapter 2: Rough Reception

‘Damn it Celestia! Couldn't you have set me on the ground!?' I thought as the wind whipped my mane in my face as I fell through the night sky.

'Long distance teleportation is a very difficult art, especially when you are going across the universe. I'm not a deity, I make mistakes too!'

I sighed.

'You are so lucky I'm a pegasus!' I mentally screamed at her.

I unfurled my wings and flapped. Both of which were extremely difficult considering the fact I just got them less than ten minutes ago. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to fly yet. So I just continued falling. As I was falling I noticed several different things.

I didn't know where I was, my memory was fading as quickly as my fall towards the ground

I was wearing a hoodie made for a pony (with no pants) my wallet was still in there though

On the forest path, now less than a hundred feet below me, six technicolored ponies were walking deeper into the forest

Any thoughts were quickly cut short as my face connected with the ground. I yelped in pain as my right fore hoof was dislocated from its socket and a slight crack emanated from it.

I heard six muffled screams through the dirt that covered my face. I had landed in the most ridiculous way possible. My face was buried in the dirt and my ass, or flank, was sticking up in the air.

I pulled my head out of the dirt and looked up to see two very large teal blue eyes less than in inch from my face. I stepped back and saw the other five of the mares standing behind her. My eyes came back to the butter-yellow Pegasus before me. I couldn't help but lose myself in those big eyes, filled with curiosity. I blushed slightly. 'Who the hell are they!? They're not humans, they look like ponies! Marshmallow ponies. And so do I for some weird reason!!!'

‘I must leave you with these mares you must defend my champion. Guard them well and you will be greatly rewarded. They are all your age, in case you were wondering,' a familiar voice said to me in my mind, causing my blush to deepen.

'What the hell is that supposed to mean!? Who are you!?' I yelled through our mental link.

I turned my attention back on the mares.

"Are you okay mister?" the pegasus said in that adorable voice of hers.

"Yeah I'm okay," I said, quickly trying to hide my blush.

"What the hay happened to you?" a mare with a rainbow colored mane said, stepping forward.

"I ...... don't remember," I lied of course. I knew someone brought me here, turned me into a pony, and dropped me out of the sky.

They all gave me questioning looks. I tried to get out of the hole my crash had created, but was quickly stopped by an immense pain in my right foreleg. My leg buckled underneath me.

"Oh, my are you hurt? I could help you, if that's okay with you," The yellow pegasus said to me.

I nodded my head, which was kind of hard to do with my face in the ground.

"It's my right one."

She slowly and gently helped me to sit on my haunches.  They all gave me weird looks again.

"What in tarnation are you wearing?" asked the orange mare with the cowboy hat. Pointing to the thing I had on.

"It's called a hoodie. Don't you have these here?" I said to her, my memory was completely gone now.

"They don't exist here in Equestria," the lavender one said with a look of curiosity on her face.

"Can you take it off so I can help fix your leg? If you don't mind that is," the pegasus said to me.

I struggled to get it off for a good minute or two, but I finally got it off. They all stared at me with large eyes, I mean they had pretty big eyes before but these were even bigger. I moved my head to what they were all looking at. It was on my leg. A picture of a sleeping rainbow maned pony, her long hair forming into the shape of a heart.

I looked between my tattoo and the cyan mare. It looked exactly like her, that is to say she looked adorable. All six of them did.

They're glances all switched to my other leg. On it was a circular formation of a bunch of strange looking shapes. There was a balloon, a diamond, a pink butterfly, a cloud with a rainbow colored lightning bolt, an apple, and a purple star.

"Our cutie marks?" the white marshmellow colored mare asked.

"That's one weird place for a cutie mark," said the cyan pegasus.

"What's a cutie mark?"

They all gasped at me. The orange mare turned so her side was facing me and gesturing to her flank with a hoof. I quickly looked away, afraid I might offend her by looking at her flank.

"No, look this is a cutie mark!" she said turning my head to look. There were three bright red apples on her flank. I turned my head to look at the other mares; all their cutie marks were different. I turned my head expectantly to my own. To my disappointment, there was nothing.

"So they're tattoos?" They all gave me those weird stares again.

"What's a tattoo, if you don't mind me asking?"  the adorable yellow one asked, her pink mane in her face.

"Well, when something is really important to someone..."

"Somepony," The lavender mare stated.

"What?"

"You mean somepony, you said somebody. Didn't they teach you this at school?"

"Okay then. When something is really important to 'somepony' they get an image of that something, or somepony, and get it permanently inked into their arm, of leg."

"But why am I and all our cutie marks on your legs?" the cyan one asked.

"I go them a long time ago with my brother."

Quicker than I could react, the yellow one grabbed my leg and popped it back into place. "OH GOD WHY!? DAMMIT ALL!!

"Oh I'm so sorry," she said, tears welling up in her eyes, "I didn't mean to hurt you Mister..."

"The name's ..." A sharp pain rang through my head before I could say my name and two words echoed in my mind; Dust Storm.

"My name's Dust Storm, and it’s alright I know you meant well." She perked up a little.

"My name's Fluttershy nice to meet you Mr. Dust."

"Nice to meet you Fluttershy, and please just Dust is fine," I turned towards the other mares, "And I don't believe we've met properly. The name's Dust Storm nice to meet you."

"I'm Twilight Sparkle," the lavender mare said.

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" That was a very suiting name considering she was pink.

"Da name's Applejack, howdy do?" She said rapidly shaking my hoof till I lost all feeling in it.

"Name's Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in Equestria," the rainbow maned mare boasted.

"And I am Rarity," said the white coated mare.

"It's nice to meet you all, but might I ask why are six mares wondering the forest in the middle of the night?"

Twilight spoke up, "We are on our way to the ruins of the castle of the royal sisters, get the Elements of Harmony, defeat Nightmare Moon and prevent her from bringing eternal night to all of Equestria."

I raised a hoof, "Question. 1) Who's Nightmare Moon? 2) What’s Equestria? 3) What kind of threat is eternal night? Sure it might cause some strong tides and may damage some houses, but come on eternal night?"

"Nightmare Moon. You know the evil alicorn from that old mares tale?"

"You're in Equestria silly!" Pinkie Pie said with a 'duh' look on her face.

"But she also trapped our princess in the sun!" Twilight looked very concerned about that.

"Okay, this is definitely a big problem. How can I help?" I said eager to help.

"Well, are you sure you can walk with that leg?" she pointed to my right foreleg.

"Of course he can! He has wings!" Rainbow Dash said kneeing me in the side with her fore hoof

"I actually can't fly," I said sheepishly.

"This just can't get any weirder," Rainbow Dash facehoofed.

I gave a shrug using my wings. It felt weird having wings. I felt like they shouldn't be there.

"Okay well let’s get a move on everypony!" Twilight yelled.

I smashed my face in the ground for like the fifteenth time in a row. "Flying is harder than I thought." I peeled my face out of the ground and curled up my wings.

"You barely remember anything, you don't have a cutie mark, you've got our cutie marks on your leg, and you can't fly. You are one strange stallion!" Rainbow Dash laughed.

"Not everyone can be the fastest flier in Equestria you know," I pouted.

"Stop teasin' 'im Rainbow," Applejack scolded the pegasus.

"Okay fine. Well why don't you tell us a bit about yourself Dust?"  Rainbow Dash asked

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"Why don't you start by telling us where you're from,” Twilight said.

"I'm from Highland, Indiana."

"Never heard of it." This just got really awkward.

"Okay, well why don't you tell me where we are?" I was extremely eager to change the subject.

"The Everfree Forest. You're not from around here are you?" Twilight asked.

"You could say that. But why is this place so bucking' creepy!?"

"No pony knows. You know why? Cause any pony who comes in has never come out!" Rainbow Dash's voice rose to a shout at the last part and the cliff we had been walking on collapsed under our hooves.

Everypony screamed, even me. I hit my head several time on the way down and was stopped by the edge of a cliff overlooking gorge a hundred feet below. My head was hurting for a good minute or two. I peeked over the edge to see everypony walking away as if nothing ever happened.

"Oh don't mind me! I'm just a flightless pegasus stranded on a cliff with no way up or down!" I shouted to the mares below. They all looked back and blushed in embarrassment. Rainbow Dash flew back and grabbed me around the waist. She carried me to the others and plopped me down on the ground. She gave me a really annoyed look.

"You really need to learn how to fly. I won't be around to save your flank all the time."

I was about to start complaining how it wasn't my fault and everything but was quickly cut off by a roar erupting from the other side of the gorge.

"Well this just isn't my day, is it?"