Girl's Night

Chapters

Wine and Absent Literature
Welcoming and Anticipation
Dinner Parties and Private Shows
Big Stallions and Bigger Stallions (SEX GOES HERE)
Fullness and Finishing (Sex also goes here)

Wine and Absent Literature

My favorite thing about living in Ponyville is the third Sunday of every month.

That’s the day of the month when I head to Cheerilee’s house in the evening and we host our regular book club meetings. Well... book ‘club’ is a bit strong. Really, it’s just the two of us. We sit around, talk, share girly thoughts, and usually share a bottle or two of wine over the evening.

It’s nice. Relaxing. It almost feels like I fit right in, which is a bit difficult considering how different I am. It’s not a personality thing. I can make friends. I do an okay job at talking to folks. But when everyone else is a fancy-colored talking horse, and I’m a human... well. I don’t blame them, in any case.

Having someone to talk to makes me feel a little more at home. After spending days puzzling over my appearance in Equestria, along with the best unicorn scientists Princess Celestia could conjure up, none of us were any closer to understanding why I turned up here in the first place, or what to do to send me back.

With that in mind, I’ve tried to make the best of things.

Cheerilee and I clicked almost immediately. She’s just fun to be around. She reminds me of my friends from back home – or one in particular; Mandy, who I used to spend every other Saturday night with. We’d watch a movie and get ice cream and do the usual ‘girly get-together on the weekend’ thing.

Well... mostly usual.

I know normally weekends for girls my age are reserved for going out the bar, meeting boys and bringing them back home to... you know. That kind of thing. I don’t know what it is, but the idea of a ‘date-a-week’ never really appealed to me. I think most guys are kind of... not ‘icky’. What’s the right word? They’re just... boring. Like, yes, you have a very nice haircut and a fast car, I’m very happy for you, but that doesn’t mean I wanna bring you back to my apartment and let you put your thing in places and act like I’m enjoying it.

I think guys could pick up on that. Even though I’m nothing hard on the eyes, it seemed like any guy coming up to drop a line or give me his number was either doing it on a dare from his friends or second-guessing himself the whole time. I mean, I don’t think I’m that bad to look at. I keep my hair long, just below my waist, and I haven’t dyed it away from my natural blonde once, which you assume guys would appreciate. Plus, even without wearing something completely skanky, I’ve got enough to look at upstairs. You figure a set of double-d’s would be the same under a sweater or in a low-cut top, right?

It might be that I could stand to lose a few pounds. I’m not exactly a super model... staying in on the weekends with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s probably helped me pack on a few. Still, I think a girl without any curves is a bit worrying. I mean... yeah, a diet wouldn’t be a terrible idea, but I’m comfortable with my pudgy-pudge. It keeps me from freaking out over a skeleton in my mirror when I wake up, in any case.

Maybe, aside from all of that, it was just the fact that guys could tell I wasn’t interested.

I tried to play nice once or twice, pretending to myself that I wanted so badly to meet some guy and bring him back to my apartment for a roll in the hay – especially during the time of the month when I got particularly riled up – I have a naturally high sex drive to begin with, but you know what I’m talking about.

But the thing is that most guys, even after all that trouble, weren’t worth the effort. They were boring, usually kind of greasy, and just not... fun. Plus, a lot of them... well. I feel like if I’m gonna spend my evening with the whole of my attention focused on not just someone, but something, that ‘thing’ should at least be worth my time. None of the guys I found seemed to be, though I have reason to believe from the porn I’ve watched that I just might have some unusually high standards. When the term ‘giant cocks’ pops up in your search history just after the typing letter ‘g’, it’s pretty easy to believe you might have a certain preference. I dunno if that makes me a size-queen, or just someone with unrealistic expectations, but it means guys in general didn’t seem to be worth the effort to me. I’d rather spend the evening chilling out or spending time with a friend anyway. Someone like Mandy.

Mandy was my best friend, but she was also really... cute. She had a short, bouncy hair-cut, and freckles to match her hair. She was small, but not too small, round where it counted, and wore shorts all the time, even when it was cold.

In my defense, I’ve always had a thing for redheads.

The first time it happened, I don’t think either of us expected it. We were watching some stupid romantic comedy and curled up in my bed, both of us in our pajamas. I remember noticing how warm she was pressed up against me, and how soft her PJs were.

I don’t remember who did what first, but pretty soon the movie was rolling credits and she had her head between my legs after yanking my pajama bottoms off.

I always looked forward to ‘girl’s night’ after that.

Things with Cheerilee are different, of course. She reminds me of Mandy, in a way, but she’s a different mixture of laid-back and ‘detail-oriented’. She teaches at the local school, which I find fascinating ‘cause I’ve always sort of wanted to be a teacher. She’s also well read, which means that even though I haven’t heard of any of the books we end up discussing, as long as I have a week to catch-up, we can talk for hours about the tiniest details in whatever she’s picked for the week. It’s great. I wasn’t a complete book-nerd before I showed up in Equestria, but now I hardly do anything else in my spare time.

Cheerilee’s a sweetheart. She’s got the cutest laugh, and this look on her face that she saves for special occasions that’s a kind of a mix between a question and a tease. Like, she’ll smirk and raise one eyebrow just a little bit, like she’s saying “Really?”, but daring you to go on regardless. She uses it when I start in on a particularly raunchy joke, or when I tease her about still being single. A lot of the time it’s almost like I’m still back home.

But there’s one particular instance that’s made me feel just right-as-rain when it comes to belonging in Equestria. Something that made me feel like I really was back home spending my weekend curled up with my best friend until we both got distracted by something more interesting than our movie.

It happened last week.

I was at Cheerilee’s, and it was Sunday. I’ve always made the time to visit her on other days of the week, her being my best pony-friend and all, but Sundays are special.

We were around her living room table, each of us with a glass of wine and a copy of the book Cheerilee had picked for the week (my experience in Equestrian literature being more than a little lacking). Cheerilee’s house is quaint, but pretty spacious on the inside. She’s got nice pictures hanging up on the walls, some of them drawn by her students, and a host of enough rooms to keep company over: a kitchen stocked with all kinds of cooking gadgets and fancy utensils, a living room with a fireplace and perfectly positioned windows... and other rooms, I guess, ostensibly. I’ve never seen the bedroom myself.

As usual, the conversation drifted off-topic; which, really, wasn’t a problem. The ‘book club’ meetings are really just an excuse for us to hang out and drink until everything we say is funny, and then both pass out and nurse each other’s hangovers away in the morning. That’s the way things usually go, anyway.

“Sooooo, Cheerilee,” I started, already angling to my most favoritest topic of conversation. “Meet any likely looking stallions lately?”

“Oh, Samantha, stop. You know I’m not interested in what’s on the market in Ponyville right now.” Cheerilee was already sounding a little giggly, which meant she was on her third or fourth glass of wine. I was on my second.

Oh, and my name is Samantha. Just in case that needed clarifying.

“What’s wrong with the Ponyville market? Are you waiting for some prince to ride into town and sweep you off your fee–hooves?” I still had trouble remembering half my favorite sayings needed translation before they made ‘pony-sense’.

Cheerilee shook her head with her wine-glass between her two front hooves. A little bit spilled out and onto her table, which was fine, because she’d long ago taken the precaution of laminating it for just that reason.

“It’s not that there aren’t some very nice stallions in town... very nice, I mean...” Cheerilee leaned forward to emphasize her point, and I held back a giggle when I noticed how glazed over her eyes looked.

“It’s just that none of them is what I’m interested in. Maybe for a... a roll in the hay, perhaps”–I giggled at that, and Cheerilee gave me a jokingly agitated glare–”but nopony who’d be right for settling down with.”

“Why does it have to be someone to settle down with?” I asked, pouring myself a third glass of the vintage red that Cheerilee had selected for the evening’s enjoyment. I noticed my aim was a little off as I poured, but I managed to keep the majority of the wine inside the glass. The rest sprinkled onto the table next to Cheerilee’s. I was more interested in getting the rest of what was in my glass in my mouth instead of where the rest of it happened to end up, so I barely noticed.

Cheerilee looked at me curiously as I swallowed a large mouthful of wine, and she smirked as I felt my cheeks redden a little. They always do when I get a bit tipsy.

“You know, I just mean... I mean, I mean, you don’t have to start looking for someone to move in with and marry and start making babies with...” I get a little bit repetitious when I’m drunk, which means Cheerilee was used to hearing me say the same thing one of several ways over and over again.

“Of course not,” Cheerilee said, considering a swish of her glass before she swallowed a sip. “But I’m not exactly a young filly. If I’m going to spend my time courting a dashing suitor, I should at least make sure he’s going to be onboard for a while... or until I’m an old mare turning grey.”

I scoffed and gave Cheerilee a nudge with my hand, pushing her shoulder back. Miraculously, she kept her glass under control, keeping more drops of red from joining the small puddle already on the table.

“You’re not gonna be old and grey any time soon. I see the way the guys in town check you out when you walk by... you do that little tail-swish thing without even thinking about it, you know. It gets their attention every time.”

Cheerilee blushed and looked over her shoulder.

She has the most adorable tail. It’s a cute little bob of light-pink that matches her coat perfectly, and it has a kind of bunchiness at the end that makes it perfect for swishing back and forth, or just for staring at. It looks kind of like a swirly ice-cream cone. Sometimes I feel like I just wanna lick it.

Cheerilee gave an experimental wag of her tail, and I imagined in my head what a colt or stallion standing behind her might get an eyeful of with such an unintentionally sultry swish. She usually wiggled her hips a little too when she did it. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was asking for the attention.

I touched a finger against my cheek and pulled it away warm.

Maybe I’d had more to drink than I thought.

“See what I mean?” I said, leaning back in my chair and finishing off my glass. Cheerilee was blushing harder than I was, and she tucked her tail under her legs like she was embarrassed by her accidental sexiness.

“I don’t see how having a well-kept tail and walking the way my mother taught me is any evidence for being the focus of a few stallions’ attention...”

“What did your mom do for a living anyway?” I asked.

Cheerilee scrunched her mouth for a minute, struggling to pull up the information through the wine clouding her thoughts.

“Hmm... you know, I can’t seem to recall exactly what her job was. She just... well, she was always very well-dressed, and well-mannered besides. She seemed like a proper lady, and money was never an issue, even when my father was laid off from the cloud-factory for several months...”

“Your mom sounds like she was a whore,” I said matter-of-factly, and set my glass on the table.

Cheerilee’s mouth dropped open, and I couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

It took me a while to stop. By the end, I had to wipe a tear away from my eye, with Cheerilee glaring at me the whole time.

“I’m sorry,” I said, still coming down from my giggle-fit. “I’m sure your mom was a wonderful pony with a perfectly respectable job.”

Cheerilee bit her lip, as though she’d suddenly recalled an incriminating memory she didn’t want to let go.

“Well...” she started, looking away from me towards the wine-splattered table.

“What?” I asked.

Cheerilee kept staring away. She was blushing pretty hard.

“What is it?” I repeated, giving her shoulder a nudge with my hand. Her fur felt warm and soft, and I felt like I wanted to keep my hand there for a little longer than was necessary.

“Well, I don’t recall anything exact... but I do seem to remember my mother had a number of stallions who were particularly fond of her. Several of them even stopped by the house on occasion, bringing her gifts, or just to say hello. And my father never seemed to be upset by it...”

“Do you think your mom really was a prostitute?”

Cheerilee glared at me, but quickly turned her face back to her normal unoffended smile.

“I’m not sure. I certainly don’t remember her ever telling us what she did for a living, in any case.”

“Well, maybe that’s where you got it from. Maybe the reason you don’t want to waste your time on ponies you know you won’t settle down with is because you know, in the back of your head, that if you do, you’re gonna be sucking a non-stop parade of dicks until you’re the biggest town bicycle Ponyville’s ever seen.”

Cheerilee gave me the look. It killed me every time. I couldn’t help but bust up, laughing harder than I think I had in ages.

She still had the look on her face when I finally calmed down, which made stopping the rest of the giggles welling in the back of my throat even harder.

“I do admit that I miss the idea of finding a ‘special somepony’ to spend my evenings with... not that I don’t find your company wonderfully enjoyable.” Cheerilee stretched out a hoof and put it on my hand reassuringly. Just like her to switch from ridiculous discussion about her mom’s theoretical prostitution right back to a semi-serious conversation about the semantics of dating.

I could see where she was coming from though. As much as I loathed dating back on Earth, the complete lack of human interaction was starting to get to me. And, as content as I was to spend my days by myself reading and finding other entertaining things in a world filled with magical talking ponies, at the end of the night, a pillow and blanket set made for a pretty shoddy companion to fall asleep next to.

Plus... well. Not having the internet was the cruelest joke of the whole thing. Memories of Mandy’s soft, slender legs and recollections of the videos I’d saved in my favorites bar didn’t quite cut it, and my hand was far less up to the task than the array of toys I’d collected for myself in lieu of a proper relationship.

“I know what you mean,” I said simply. “I don’t miss dating, or guys in general, but I do miss them... in specific, if you know what I mean.”

Cheerilee blinked at me, blank-faced. I wasn’t sure if the alcohol had taken its toll on her sensibilities or if she was just oblivious when it came to blunt discussion about the opposite sex. I didn’t think the latter was the case – Cheerilee was too pretty not to have been around the proverbial block once or twice.

I sighed.

“You know. Like... having time to myself is great, and just like you said, girl’s night is a blast. But sometimes, I... y’know. Wish I had a nice, comfy somebody to curl up next to. And to... do other things with.”

Cheerilee’s eyes flashed with understanding, and she nodded.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been... with somepony. So, I think I know where you’re coming from.”

We shared a smile, basking in the shared misery of our mutual singlehood. Cheerilee’s hoof was still on my hand, and it felt warm and comforting.

“I will say though,” I started, taking up the last of my wine with my free hand and downing it before going on, “that I don’t have particularly fond memories of the time I did spend dating. Maybe this is all just a life-lesson to convince me I should be an asexual spinster.”

“What was it about dating that was so unpleasant?” Cheerilee asked, leaving her own wine glass empty. There was still more than a quarter of a bottle to go, and I could tell both of us were set on finishing it before the night was over. Still, there was no rush.

“Just the guys. They were always so... disappointing.”

“How do you mean?” Cheerilee leaned forward a little, her head hovering over the table covered in red wine.

“You know. Like, some of them tried a bit, and I could tell they wanted to do well, but I just always felt like something was missing.”

Cheerilee blinked again.

“You mean... specifically in regards to being intimate–”

“Yes. In regards to the sex. It was... lacking.”

Cheerilee blushed again ever so lightly.

“Do you mean–”

“Yes. Mostly that.”

A moment of semi-awkward silence passed as Cheerilee considered where to take the logistics of the conversation next.

“Is that a problem with human males?” she asked. She sounded genuinely uncertain.

“I’m not sure,” I replied. I set my glass down on the table and lifted the bottle, pouring as much of it as I could aim steadily into the waiting crystal. I did the same for Cheerilee, and she gave me a nod as I finished off the bottle. She raised her glass to her mouth and took a long drink, letting out a little ‘ah’ before setting it back down on the table.

“I mean, I don’t really have a ton of experience. I got the impression from asking around that they weren’t that bad. But I dunno. I just always expected something... more.”

“How much more are we talking?” Cheerilee asked before swallowing another gulp full of wine. That must have been her fifth glass; it was the only explanation for her daring to step past her normal comfort zone of avoiding the specifics of my sex-laden conversational stylings. I was the sex-obsessed one, not her, so I could always tell when she’d hit her peak for the night when she could match me sentence for sentence in talking about my sexual history or hers.

I shifted my eyes to the side as I considered the question for a second, then held up my hand. I stretched my thumb as far away from my index finger as I could manage, then used my other hand to span the length and held it up to Cheerilee to demonstrate.

She looked speechless.

“That... is that all?” she asked. She almost stumbled over her words with her surprise. It wasn’t a reaction I was expecting.

Then again... I suppose I’d never thought about that. Horses were well known on Earth for being... big; so why didn’t it make sense that talking ponies would be along the same lines?

I’d never done the research before. Despite my usual ‘monster dick’ search tag, I’d never taken the idea into my head to stumble into the intimidating field of horse porn. The idea of getting held down by a giant, unintelligent beast, and spreading yourself open on its animal cock seemed... kind of gross. I’d certainly never considered it, despite my hankering for something a little more substantial. I’d never thought about talking pony dick either.

But now the idea was in my head. It didn’t seem as disgusting as the real thing.

“Mostly,” I replied, taking a small sip of my drink. “How big are... I mean, how does that compare to pony... thing?”

Cheerilee looked at me, deadpan. Without her expression changing an inch, she held up her right foreleg and stretched it out. Then, she placed her left hoof on the tip of her right, and dragged it down her foreleg slowly until she reached the first joint; about the equivalent from the tip of my fingers up until my elbow.

I coughed a little on my mouthful of wine.

“Are you serious?” I asked, incredulous.

Cheerilee nodded.

Damn.

I’d never thought about it before. As weird as it was being around talking, sometimes magical, sometimes flying ponies every second of the day, I’d never even considered the mechanics of their sex organs, or sex in general. I’d reminisced, from time to time, about how close Cheerilee felt to my old friend, and what it might be like to tackle her to the ground after a couple drinks and plant a big kiss right on her fuschia coloured lips – but I’d never gone through with it, and that was as far as my imagination went. I’d certainly never contemplated the physical logistics of what it might be like to get fucked by a pony – certainly not how big they were, though I had a best guess based on the pictures that everyone managed to stumble into over the course of their internet browsing.

So why did the idea sound so appealing now?

The ponies in Equestria aren’t like the real thing; they’re talking, thinking, feeling creatures that may as well be human, aside from the whole ‘walking on four legs and being miniature horses’ thing. I’d met a few stallions, talked to them, even hung out with them once or twice – but I’d never thought about their dicks, or how big they must surely be, swinging around between their hind legs waiting for a mare to present herself at the right moment and get railed until the stallion filled her up with his seed.

I could feel myself turning red.

“That’s, uh... pretty big. Doesn’t it–”

“Hurt?” Cheerilee finished for me. “No, not particularly. Like most things, it does take some getting used to. But, all-in-all, I think it’s worth it. You just feel so... full during the whole thing. It’s a feeling not quite like anything else.”

“Huh,” I responded flatly. I swirled around my glass of wine, staring into the red liquid as it sloshed around.

I took a sip and let a moment of silence pass.

Cheerilee smirked at me.

“Don’t tell me you’ve thought about–”

“I haven’t,” I blurted, stopping Cheerilee mid-sentence. “I mean, I haven’t... until just now. Until you just said that, I hadn’t thought about it. I mean, how would that even work? It doesn’t seem like there are a lot of ponies who find the idea of a human girl attractive.”

“I think you’d be surprised,” Cheerilee said, setting her empty wineglass onto the corner of the table. She couldn’t tell yet, but I knew the second she stood up all that wine would rush right to her head and she’d be struggling to stand up properly, let alone form a coherent sentence.

“How’s that?” I asked, leaning forward a little more eagerly than I intended. Cheerilee leveled my enthusiasm with a smirk.

“There’s something wonderfully inviting about the idea of another species. I dare say there are ponies who already find the notion of being intimate with a Griffon or a Zebra attractive, though both of those two are a bit closer to ponies than you might be. Still... I’ve heard murmurs around town. The idea is a fair bit... exotic. I think if you asked around, you might find some willing candidates.”

I almost spat out my mouthful of wine.

“Willing candidates for what?” I asked, managing to swallow the bit of vintage red still on my tongue.

“Oh. Well, I thought you’d said since you were considering the idea...”

“I said I was considering... I mean, I was thinking about... that’s not what I said!”

Cheerilee grinned at me. She didn’t get mischievous like this often, and I could tell she was enjoying it. Plus, having the upperhand (upperhoof?) on me meant that despite her imminent drunkenness, I’d likely had more than a fair bit to drink as well – and I am not a quick-witted drunk.

“All I’m saying is that the option is there. I could think of a few nice stallions to introduce you to if you decide to pursue the idea further–”

The doorbell rang before I could lobby a response, whether defensive or compliant. It was a sound neither of us expected, which meant Cheerilee practically jumped when she heard it, and I shook my glass of wine in surprise, almost spilling even more onto the table fast becoming completely red.

“Who could that be at this hour?” Cheerilee asked, more to herself than to me.

I glanced at the clock. It was only just after eight, which meant normal visiting around Ponyville had stopped.

So, who was at Cheerilee’s door this late at night?

Cheerilee stood up from her four-legs kneeled position, and immediately I could see the flush of the wine coursing through her body. She attempted her first step but stopped almost immediately, reaching out to steady herself by placing her hoof on a nearby door-frame and holding herself there for balance. If she didn’t take it slowly, it’d be a miracle if she made it the door.

So, I probably needed to give her a hand.

“Here,” I said, taking one of her forelegs and wrapping it around my waist. Her fur tickled a little against my stomach through my shirt, but I ignored it and did my best to pull her towards the door. I think it might have been a bit cruel to have her field a visitor in her current state, but I was in no better position to do so despite my relatively even-footed abilities. Besides which; it wasn’t my house, and I still felt nervous talking to ponies most of the time anyway.

Cheerilee didn’t bother to look through the peephole before she pulled the door open. She found the handle on the second try.

“Yes?” she asked cheerfully to the pony standing on her doorstep.

It was a big one. A stallion I recognized from town; tall, with a red coat. Big Mac, I think his name was.

“Hello Miss Cheerilee,” he said, shifting his weight to the side to hold the package in his saddlebag a little better. “Sorry to bother you so late at night, but I was tallying up the deliveries for the day and realized I’d missed one. Applejack’d have my head if I forgot a delivery to one of our best customers, so I figured I’d run it to you before the day was all the way over.”

Cheerilee blinked cluelessly in a standstill as Big Mac tucked his snout into his saddlebag and procured the object that had given reason for his trip; a green bottle with a fancy golden label wrapped all around.

“I know how you expect yer, uh, Apple Schnapps every month. Hope the late delivery ain’t too much of a put out.”

Cheerilee took the presented bottle between her two forehooves, luckily managing to keep it steady and not drop it onto the stone of her doorstep. She studied it for a minute as though she was unsure what it contained, but her eyes shone with sudden understanding when she read the label on the side.

“Oh, my. Thank you, Big Macintosh. I wasn’t expecting a visitor so late at night, but I do appreciate your commitment to your deliveries. I promise I wouldn’t have been at all upset if you’d had to wait until tomorrow, though.” Cheerilee did a good job of not slurring her speech despite the five glasses of wine coursing through her body. Maybe she had an extra reserve of composure saved up for situations just like this.

“Ain’t no worry. I wouldn’t forgiven myself if I’d let it sit. That bein’ said, I do apologize for botherin’ ya so late. I’ll let you get back to your evenin’, if that’s alright.”

Big Mac poised to lift his leg and turn to leave when I felt my mouth spring open. I let loose the only word I could find that seemed appropriate.

“Wait!”

Big Macintosh did exactly that, holding his hoof in the air. Cheerilee turned to me as he did, both of them staring at me, awkwardly holding my hand up, my face still flushed from the wine I’d just downed.

What could I say?

“Uh, I mean... before you go, Big Mac...”–Big Mac seemed surprised I knew his name, though he only showed it with a single raised eyebrow–”...Cheerilee was just saying to me how she was hoping to have, uh, some other ponies over this month. For a get together, over drinks, sort of thing. And she was just, uh, feeling bummed that we had the whole night in front of us and no one else to spend it with. Weren’t you, Cheerilee?”

Cheerilee looked at me with empty eyes for a second before she picked up on the desperate blinking of the hidden signals hiding behind my pupils. She nodded curtly to show she understood, then turned to Big Macintosh with as earnest an expression as she could manage.

“Oh, yes, that’s absolutely right. I was just saying, how, um...” Cheerilee looked to me for guidance, and I scrambled to think of what I could say or do that might key her in on my plan. Even I didn’t know what my plan was, so that might be a little difficult.

‘Get Big Mac over for drinks’ might work as a summary.

Or, one of those other ponies Cheerilee had mentioned.

“...how we should have a dinner-party on short notice!” I finished for her, trying to sound as though we’d discussed the idea in detail before Big Mac’s arrival.

Big Mac, for his part, didn’t seem sure of how to react. He looked back and forth between Cheerilee and me, not letting on if he found our behaviour suspicious.

“Oh, yes, uh. An impromptu get-together, yes, that sounds like an excellent idea. Because–”

“Because you’ve been feeling, uh... lonely.”

Crap. Was that a good angle to play?

Cheerilee caught my eye for a moment. Her look of shock had vanished and was quickly being replaced by the red flush of her drunkenness, as well as a proper understanding of what I was hinting at.

To my surprise, she winked at me.

“Mhm, that’s right too. I have been feeling lonely...” Cheerilee stretched out the last word as she pried herself from the door-framing, standing sideways with remarkable coordination considering her drunken state. As I watched, open-mouthed, she shook her tail once or twice before moving it forward, wafting the tip right under Big Mac’s nose and tickling the bottom of his jaw, then pulled her tail back, giving her hindquarters a little shake in the process.

Big Mac didn’t show any noticeable signs of agitation in his expression, but I thought I saw a bead of sweat run down his forehead.

“...so, I was thinking it would be excellent to have a few stallions – lovely, handsome stallions like yourself – over tonight. Doesn’t that sound like a good idea to you, Big Macintosh?”

Big Mac eyed Cheerilee as she batted her eyelashes at him seductively. He didn’t seem like a stupid pony, which meant he could read the signs Cheerilee was throwing at him a mile away; what was uncertain was how he’d react to them.

I needed to jump in and try to seal the deal.

“I think that would be great too,” I said, ambling towards Cheerilee’s side and resting a hand at the base of her tail. I swore I felt her hips swoon just a little bit towards my touch, but I ignored it.

“In fact, I’d love to get to know you a little better, Big Mac. I always see you around town, and you look like such an interesting pony. Do you think you can make the time for us lonely girls tonight?”

I couldn’t tell if Big Mac was blushing, what with his coat being red and all, but he did swallow particularly loudly before he spoke.

“Well, I... I’m all done deliveries for the day. I suppose I could... say yes to a dinner party, if you’re havin’ one.”

Cheerilee clopped her front hooves together like an excited filly.

“Wonderful! We’d be thrilled to have you, Big Macintosh.”

“Yeah, we would,” I echoed lamely, my hand still at the base of Cheerilee’s tail. I picked it up as I felt her move, shifting sideways and then walking closer to Big Mac until her face was level with his.

“Of course, we would like to have a few more guests to make it a proper get-together. I don’t suppose you could think of another fine young stallion to attend our dinner party, hmm?”

Big Macintosh looked around nervously. His forehead still looked sweaty in the light from Cheerilee’s door-light.

“Well... my cousin, Caramel is on town. He’s a nice fella’, real polite and probly wouldn’t mind dinner with two real nice girls–”

“Nice girls? Why Big Macintosh, that’s so sweet of you.” Cheerilee beamed, and gave another swish of her tail, this time all the way over her back, on the other side of Mac’s face. I noticed him gulp again.

“That being said... I have another request, if you don’t mind. There’s one pony I’d like very much to have over tonight, and I was wondering if you could track him down...”

“Yes,” Macintosh blurted. I think his hormones were in control of his thinking at this point.

“Excellent!” With that, Cheerilee leaned in close and whispered something into Big Macintosh’s ear. I couldn’t make out anything, so I contented myself with leaning back against the wall behind me and hoping it wouldn’t decide to suddenly reorient itself to my detriment.

“Sound good?” Cheerilee asked at regular volume, pulling her mouth away from Mac’s ear.

“Mhm-hmm,” he said and nodded. “I’ll probably need a little while to find Caramel, and uh–”

“Take your time!” Cheerilee interrupted, patting Big Mac on the shoulder. “We’re in no rush, really. The more time you take, the more time we’ll have to prepare for such lovely guests. Isn’t that right, Samantha?”

I blinked as though I’d woken up suddenly and pried myself off the wall, trying to look as invested as possible.

“Oh.... yes, of course. We need time to, uh, get everything ready, anyway, so it’s okay if you take a little bit.”

Mac looked back and forth between both of us. Cheerilee’s face was perpetually sultry, and I tried to put on the best sexy pout I could manage. I think it worked.

“Okay,” Big Macintosh said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can manage.”

“We’ll be waiting!” Cheerilee said and closed the door as Big Macintosh turned to leave. She took a moment to steel herself against the door, watching Big Mac through the peephole as he walked off. When she was convinced he was gone she turned to me, eyes narrow, and a huge grin on her face.

“So,” she said. “What’s the plan?”

Welcoming and Anticipation

We did the best with the arrangements that we could, given the time. Being that I wasn’t sure of the plan myself, it took a little while to work it out with Cheerilee. Honestly, even minutes before the boys arrived, I was still nervous. I could feel a shake in my hand as I laid out the plate of cheese and crackers and set the longer living room table with glasses and plates. I wasn’t sure if anyone there would be eating, but I had to at least assume things would proceed as normal – or, as ‘normal’ as I hoped they would.

A knock came at the door at a quarter to nine, which meant it had taken Big Mac only half an hour to round up the other two guests of honor. Cheerilee had keyed me in on her personal request, and though I’d batted an eyelash, she’d assured me there was method to her madness.

Cheerilee dashed to the door the second she heard the knock and threw it open without checking the peephole.

“Come in!” she said, opening the door with a sing-song tune in her voice.

Big Macintosh was the first to come inside. Two other ponies followed him: a shorter yellow-coated stallion with a well-oiled brunette mane and a set of horsehoes on his special talent spot, and a lanky, off-orange pony with bright green, unkempt hair and a snail cutie mark on his flank.

The last entrant got a raised eyebrow from me.

“Aren’t we going to be serving drinks?” I asked Cheerilee, already confused about her choice in particular pony attendance.

“Snails isn’t exactly a young colt, dear. He’s a little... slow, but he’s a darling. It does mean he’s been held back a few times, however, which means conversely that he’s probably quite close to being of legal age for a few glasses of Apple Family Schnapps. It’s a line I feel comfortable blurring, in any case.”

I’d started drinking when I was sixteen, so I could see where she was coming from.

Plus, there was something else to the colt – Snails’ – invitation. Cheerilee wouldn’t have asked for him without knowing what my plan was, or without having at least slight inkling.

“Don’t you feel weird about–”

“Like I said, dear; he’s old enough to drink, in my mind. I don’t see why other ‘adult’ activities shouldn’t go along with that.”

Good enough for me, I guess.

And, I had to admit, I wasn’t used to seeing Cheerilee being that forthright. Regardless of what happened next, the idea of her being a sultry, drunken minx towards one of her students, slow though he might be, was kind of exciting.

That all aside, the evening wasn’t about to proceed without getting to know the guests in attendance.

Big Macintosh I already knew, mostly from the times I’d seen him around town, and from Cheerilee’s explanation before his re-arrival. Apparently they’d had sort of a ‘thing’ for a while, but had broken it off as fast as it started. She wasn’t keen to get into the details, but she let me know that while she still thought he was a sweetheart, there was nothing really romantic left between them. They had stayed good friends though, she insisted.

So, that was two, including the green-haired colt with a dopey smile across his face – but what about mystery guest number three?

“This here’s my cousin Caramel,” Macintosh ventured by way of introduction as he closed the door behind himself. “He’s in town for a bit, and uh, I figured he might have a good time at this, er… dinner party.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Caramel! Always nice to see a new face in Ponyville, even if it’s just for a little while.” Cheerilee extended a hoof in an attempt at a hoof-shake or bump of some sort, but Caramel reacted as though there was a loaded gun staring him in the face. His eyes shot to the ground, he leaned his head low and hid his face under his mop of shiny brown hair, and he returned the gesture like he’d rehearsed it in a hostage situation prep course.

“Nice to meet you…” he murmured.

So he was a bit shy then. Hopefully that wouldn’t put a kink in the evening’s plans.

“Hi, Caramel! I’m Samantha.” I tried to sound as bubbly as possible, helped in part by the several glasses of wine still making their way through my veins. I always felt a little weird offering a handshake to someone without hands, but given that there wasn’t really a better way to introduce myself, I held out my palm and waited for Caramel’s hoof to meet it.

He returned the gesture in the same way he had with Cheerilee. I could feel the quiver along his foreleg as I shook his hoof. Poor guy seemed so out of his element, I almost felt bad for him. He reminded me of myself in a way; I’d never been that awe-struck nervous before, but I certainly remembered instances of family members or friends dragging me out for a night’s activities I’d protested before they’d even started. Being somewhere you don’t want to be is a miserable experience, regardless of the ‘why’.

Maybe I’d just have to find a way to help Caramel loosen up.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” Cheerilee said from behind me, interrupting my pondering on the subject of Caramel’s nervousness. “We’ve got things all set up in the living room, just this way.” Cheerilee gestured to the spacious carpeted room to the right of the house’s entrance.

I followed her with my hand still on Caramel’s hoof, dragging him along like a kid on a reluctant playdate. I felt like if I let him go he might go sprinting terrified into the night, and I didn’t want that to happen. Three stallions was just the perfect number for an enjoyable evening, after all.

Big Mac kept an eye on his cousin as he and Snails followed myself and Cheerilee into the living room. True to Cheerilee’s statement, the boys were greeted by the array of snacks and drink glasses we had laid out, as well as the prominently displayed bottle of Apple Schnapps Cheerilee had placed at the center of the table. For seating arrangements, her garish poofy couch was on one side of the table, and two chairs for us were set up on the other. One of them looked like leather, but it was hard to tell. A cow might be someone you said hello to on your next trip into town, so using their skin for furniture didn’t seem likely.

Cheerilee gestured to the couch with her foreleg and Snails hopped on without a second thought, squishing the padded cushions underneath himself and squirming around for a second before he found a comfortable sitting position. The idea of ponies sitting upright like people was always a bit weird to me, but they managed to find ways to not look entirely akward or creepy; usually a mix between some kind of cross-legged position or lying back with their hind legs raised as necessary.

I’d never sat across from a stallion seated like that. I wondered if I’d be able to see…

Big Macintosh took his seat at the couch opposite Snails, which left room for Caramel right in the middle. I realized I still had my hand on his hoof, so I let go as gently as I could manage to avoid startling him. He gave me a tiny smile before settling in between his cousin and Snails, who was looking around at the room like an amazed connoisseur in an art gallery.

“Would anypony care for a drink? We have a lovely selection that was delivered by Big Macintosh just this evening.”

Cheerilee was an excellent host. Our guests had barely just walked in the door and she was already offering them refreshments. It might have been a little rushed in normal circumstance, but for tonight, I was happy to get the drinks out as soon as possible.

“That’s okay,” Caramel said, speaking before the ponies on either side of him. “I’m not thirsty.”

Big Macintosh looked up at us from beside his cousin with a sympathetic frown.

“Caramel, uh, doesn’t really drink that much.”

“Nonsense!” Cheerilee countered, popping open the bottle of schnapps and tilting it towards one of the three glasses across the table. “What kind of host would I be if I didn’t let all of our guests sample this wonderful delivery? I insist, you have to at least try a taste.”

Caramel bit his lip, hiding a protest as Cheerilee filled his glass to the brim with sparkling green schnapps. Big Macintosh eyed the glass wearily but said nothing.

“And you as well, Big Macintosh?” Cheerilee poised the tip of the bottle at the edge of Big Mac’s glass and smiled at him with her eyes half-open.

Big Mac considered the offer for a moment.

“Ah, sure, what the hay.”

Cheerilee beamed at him. The schnapps flowed as soon as the last syllable had left Big Mac’s mouth, and after a few seconds his glass was full as well.

“Snails, would you like to try some?” Cheerilee’s voice sounded different when she spoke to Snails. I could hear the teacher’s annunciation in her intonation, coating every word in nurturing sympathy and pronouncing every letter slow enough for the presumably bit-behind colt to keep up with. It was adorable – and, given the context, a little naughty, which made my face feel even more flushed than the wine had made it feel previously.

“Sure!” Snails said without a second thought. Cheerilee topped off his glass just as quickly, and Snails was the first at the table to take a sip, knocking back more than a healthy mouthful. He swished the liquid in his mouth for a second before swallowing.

“It tastes… sparkly.”

Cheerilee grinned at him.

“Yes Snails, that’s a very good word to describe it. It’s what makes it so delicious.”

Big Mac considered his glass for a second and then followed Snails’ lead with a shrug, downing more than half the contents of his crystal holder in a single gulp.

Caramel was more reticent. I could feel the tension of the surrounding peer pressure in his contemplation. Normally I would have been fine letting him pass, but dammit, he wasn’t going to be the only sober one at the table.

I leaned over as far as I could manage, lamenting the fact that the shirt I’d picked for the evening wasn’t one of the low-cut tops I’d managed to put together from local sewing shops. I did my best to squish my boobs together as I looked Caramel in the eye and smiled at him. My lack of a bra probably helped; I’d given up wearing them after the first month in Equestria.

“Come on Caramel. It’s good. Don’t you wanna try some?”

I sounded like every cliché older girl in an after school special convincing the naïve little kid to drink.

But it worked.

Caramel took one look at me, swallowed loudly to clear the lump in his throat, and threw back the entire contents of his glass in a single motion. My mouth fell open a little bit as he gagged slightly, then set the glass down on the table.

“Wow! I didn’t know we had such a talented drinker at the table. Very impressive, Caramel!”

His face was already reddening from the alcohol it was more than obvious he wasn’t used to, but my voice got an extra rosy tinge out of his cheeks.

Mission accomplished so far.

“So,” Cheerilee started, content that everyone at the table had been given the appropriate means to accelerate their lack of sobriety, “how are you gentleman this lovely summer evening? We’re so happy you were able to come. The night was just dragging on before you three got here.”

Caramel blushed even harder, and Big Mac looked to the side nervously as if he wasn’t sure how much of Cheerilee’s speech was meant to butter him up and how much of it was sincere. Snails didn’t look like he cared either way; he just smiled wide and helped himself to another sip of his schnapps.

You’d figure a kid’s first drink would go right to his head, but it was hard to tell with Snails. Even if he was black-out drunk, I’d be hard pressed to notice the difference. He always looked kind of… dopey. Smiling all the time. Like his eyes were lost in a permanent haze of not quite keeping up with what was going on around him.

“My night’s going great!” Snails answered, oblivious to the rhetorical nature of Cheerilee’s question. But, that meant it was a question to be answered after all, so Cheerilee smiled at Snails and turned to the other two stallions in attendance. Caramel had drawn himself out of his slouch and was sitting up a bit more, holding his empty glass like he was baffled over its lack of contents, while Big Mac occasionally shuffled back-and-forth on the couch and looked awkwardly to the side every now and then.

“My night’s, uh… well, to be honest, it wasn’t too excitin’ until y’all invited us over.” Big Mac managed a small smile, and Cheerilee answered it tenfold.

“And Caramel? How are you enjoying your stay in Ponyville so far?”

“It’s…” Caramel drawled the word over his tongue as though he wasn’t sure it was the correct one. He chewed on a mouthful of nothing for a moment, stirring up the next part of his sentence. “…it’s been good. Big Mac’s shown me a lot of… neat stuff.”

Oh boy. Caramel sounded like he was already halfway to gone.

No complaints from me there.

“Wonderful! You know, it’s always a pleasure to have someone visit from out of town, especially a handsome stallion like yourself. It just brightens up the whole place!”

Caramel blushed but stuck out his chest a little, as though the word ‘handsome’ had reminded him he was supposed to be a masculine alpha male, invited over for drinks with two comely lasses lathering him in attention.

For a moment the five of us sat there, the boys with their drinks (or lack thereof) and Cheerilee and myself sitting and staring interestedly across the table at our guests. I took the initiative and poured a new helping of schnapps into Caramel’s glass, which he eyed with less disdain than his first helping. Schnapps does have a habit of growing on people – or ponies – after all.

“So,” I said, leaning back in my chair.

And that was it. I had this vague idea in my head about what I’d expected would happen with three immediately liquored young stallions invited over to our girl’s night, but… none of them had been realistic. I still wasn’t sure what exactly I wanted to happen, after all. I mean, I was pretty sure. Even if I wasn’t positive about what might occur by action or instigation, I did have a very concrete image in my mind of Cheerilee tracing her hoof up one foreleg, the size of my arm, wrist to elbow…

I glanced at the three stallions sitting on the couch. None of the three had assumed a particularly compromising position, but I imagined that given the supposed size of what I was looking for I might be able to catch a glimpse of something. No luck on the first two – Big Macintosh was seated very properly for someone I assumed was inherently down to earth, and Caramel was tucked up on his cushion like a kid still buzzing from his first taste of dad’s beer.

Snails though. I had to remind myself I wasn’t drinking anything to avoid doing a spit take.

Snails was sitting on the couch like a boy on the bus might, or at least one without any regard for the people sitting across from him. A homeless guy might have been a more appropriate analogy, because no guy with a modicum of manners would let himself… hang out like that. Snails had his legs splayed in either direction, and I could see very plainly between them; Cheerilee hadn’t been lying.

In fact, she might have been underestimating.

Maybe that was just an average.

Snails’… thing… was right there, between his legs. It wasn’t hard, or at least it didn’t look it from a distance – but even flaccid, it looked huge. Like, gigantic. Like, one of those ridiculous toys you see at the sex-shop and think to yourself, ‘who on earth would use something that big?’ It looked like a big floppy, slender forearm, bunched up between his knees and in plain view for me or Cheerilee or anyone else who happened to want to look.

Cheerilee was doing exactly that, noticeably enough that her hosting duties seemed very obviously in the back of her mind as she looked across the table and licked her lips.

I was beginning to see what she saw in the little guy after all. Maybe Snails was a big enough boy to hang with the evening's crowd after all.

I cleared my throat and turned my eyes to the side in an attempt to reconstruct my attention elsewhere. If I wanted to, I could easily get distracted speculating on the size of the monster between the orange legs to my right, but there was still a whole night ahead, and I very dearly wanted to see if Snails was the bar set at the top of the standard or just an average.

My ‘so’ was still hanging in the air, and I could tell without further prompting it might just sit there forever. So, with that in mind, I gave Cheerilee a tiny nudge under the table, tapping onr of her hind legs with my foot. I would have hissed a whisper at her as well, but overt signals were to be avoided at the moment. Although… there wasn't really anything subtle about the way we'd asked the guys over in the first place. Short of putting up a banner that said ‘we wanna fuck’ in the middle of Cheerilee`s living room, we'd be hard pressed to mask our rapidly realized attentions any less than we had.

Cheerilee jerked in her chair as though I’d kicked her a little too hard, but she snapped out of her pointedly focused daze and sat up at attention immediately, picking up where I’d left off.

“So,” Cheerilee started, shifting her chair a little to get an eyeful of all three stallions instead of just her wonder-student, “now that you’re all here, I must admit… Samantha and I did have a bit of an ulterior motive in inviting you.”

I swallowed a mouthful of nothing with a noticeable gulp. I wasn’t expecting Cheerilee to dive right into things, but I trusted her judgement; that, and I wasn’t about to say no to speeding up the progression of the night’s events any further.

Big Mac looked up over his glass with mild suspicion, but Caramel and Snails stayed mostly blank at Cheerilee's sudden confession, the latter staring bemusedly forward and Caramel nursing his new glass of schnapps as though it held the secrets of the world inside its sparkly green bubbles.

“Samantha and I spent the whole night talking about it… really, having you three over was the only solution. So, I’m going to ask you all something, and I’d like you to be upfront with your answers.”

Big Mac kept his suspicious eyebrows raised. Snails simply nodded, and Caramel bobbed his head in a bit of a delay, still further away from the conversation than anyone else.

“Which of us,” Cheerilee started, turning to me and pointing with her hoof, “do you think is prettier?”

I coughed, but quickly muffled myself to the best of my ability. It didn’t do to burst into a coughing fit with three stallions silently ogling me – at least, I hoped they were ogling me.

Still; that hadn’t been what I was expecting.

“Huh?” Caramel asked, blurred by the haze of his schnapps.

“We were just thinking...” Cheerilee went on, placing her hoof on my lap. I’m not sure if it was the alcohol, or how much I’d noticed the softness of Cheerilee’s touch before, but I felt a tingle run through my leg as her hoof settled on it.

“...that the two of us are so terribly lonely these days,” Cheerilee continued. “Surely there must be something we’re doing wrong. Maybe neither of us is cute enough to get any attention? And then of course, one thing led to another, and now we have a bit of a debate to settle, and we were hoping you three gentleponies might be able to give us some assistance. We’d be ever so grateful.”

Cheerilee’s voice was thick and sultry like delicate honey, and the way she batted her eyelashes at the stallions across the table made my heart skip a beat, as well as sending a twinge to other places apart from my chest. The effect of her tone didn’t go unnoticed on the boys either – even Big Mac, who seemed set on keeping himself as stoic and composed as possible, let his stern expression soften, and I think I detected a hint of blush in his cheeks as he leaned back on the couch.

“Were you lookin’ for us to make a call right this second, or-“

“Oh no no no, of course not. That wouldn’t be fair to you or to us,” Cheerilee interjected. She finished of the last tiny sip of her own glass of schnapps (that she’d poured without me noticing, evidently) and leaned towards Big Macintosh, swishing her tail behind her head.

“We thought some sort of contest might be in order. Nothing showy, of course… just a simple demonstration of our best features, to help our wonderful judges make their decision. Does that sound alright to the three of you?”

“Sure,” Snails chimed in, either completely oblivious to the gears turning in Cheerilee’s head or playing into her plan more subtly than he seemed capable of. Caramel mumbled an ‘okay’ from the middle of the couch before closing his eyes for a moment, and both Cheerilee and I rested our attention on Big Mac, leaning forward in anticipation.

He looked down at his half-finished glass of schnapps, back up to us, and then back down to his glass. After waiting no more than a few seconds, he raised the glass to his lips and drained the rest of its contents, then set it down on the table with a tiny ting.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” he said, grinning.

Cheerilee and I grinned back at him.

We didn’t do any preparation. Like my plan to Cheerilee, I’d had no idea about what her plan might be, but I played along to the best of my abilities in the interest of bringing things along in whatever direction she saw fit. We had about five minutes in her bathroom to discuss the logistics before going back out to face the boys.

“It’s not meant to be a fashion show or anything of the sort, I’m sure you know that,” she said, taking a moment to consider the evenness of her mane in her bathroom mirror. “All we have to do is go out, prance around a bit, show off our… assets… and the boys will be on board for whatever else we have planned for the evening.”

I pursed my lips into the mirror and leaned forward to get an eyeful of my own ‘assets’ before turning to Cheerilee.

“And what exactly do we have planned for the rest of the evening?” I asked.

Cheerilee grinned at me.

“I think it’ll be more fun if we keep it a surprise.”

I was hard pressed to disagree.

Dinner Parties and Private Shows

There was no music or flashing strobe lights when we walked back out, which was just as well; I wasn’t sure I could keep a straight face if I had to parade around like a model doing a strip-tease for the attention of a few stallions. Though, the look I imagined on Big Mac’s face if I was to maybe wrap one of my legs around him and pull my shirt off to show him the lack of a bra underneath…

Ahem.

Cheerilee got to go first. I stood to the side of the living room, perpendicular to the couch and just to the side of the currently unlit fireplace. Cheerilee came into the room a second after I arrived, prancing and strutting forward exactly like she was a model on display. It made me a little jealous; even in my best moments pretending for a date or doing silly performance for a girlfriend, I’d never manage to be anything but a clumsy pudge-ball with big boobs lumbering around more awkwardly than a one-legged duck. Cheerilee’s entrance alone made me want to holler and throw dollar bills on an invisible stage.

She seemed to be well aware of what she was doing, in any case. As she walked by the couch she made sure to give each stallion a swish of her pink, bobbing tail right under their nose, tickling their snouts with a garish swish of her intoxicating ice-cream pink. Caramel in particular looked attentive after his swish, and sat up properly in his seat for the first time since his drink.

Cheerilee made her way over to me by the fireplace, swishing her butt the whole way. She flicked her tail side-to-side every few seconds, giving the boys in the audience ample view of her dark-cherry behind. I was a little jealous; I’d never taken the time to ogle Cheerilee’s booty before; now I desperately wanted to, but was confined to standing awkwardly on the side of the ‘stage’ waiting for my turn to attempt a look even half as sexy as Cheerilee. If one of them didn’t pounce her and start rubbing her squishy looking butt I might just have to myself.

Cheerilee took care to elongate the movements in her performance. I could almost picture the cheesy music an invisible DJ was playing in the background. Cheerilee turned in circles, flicking her tail with each rotation and spreading her legs as she bobbed back and forth more than I'd imagined she was capable. She paused on the third turn and faced her audience on the couch. She gave them what I imagine was the most provocative look any of them had ever seen, and then arched her back, slowly, pushing her head to the ground and pointing her ass straight up in the air. She flicked her tail back and forth as she did so, letting the bunched tip bounce over her back and haunches.

She gave me a full view of her backside in the process.

Damn.

In much the same fashion that I'd never taken the time to look at what might be on display between an errant stallions legs, I'd also never taken the time to get an eyeful of a pretty looking mare’s love-hole or accompanying decoration. Cheerilees was on display right in front of me, and it made me wonder how anyone in Ponyville got any work done with what must be a veritable smorgasbord of hot, fuckable pussy parading around town for the taking. What was even more unbelievable was that Cheerilee, with her pliable, grab-able, imminently delectable looking backside and everything else in between, somehow managed to have a problem with finding suitable stallions. There should have been a line around the block waiting for the chance to even look. Maybe an application process to start filtering out first date candidates. I’d have to set something up after the evening was over.

Cheerilee’s show had the intended effect. Whether the boys were aware that she was giving little ol’ bisexual me a full view of her already eager looking pussy and accompanying accoutrements, I could see a nervous shuffling in the couch and an extra attention to the available drinks on the table.

Big Mac and Caramel were still tucked into a proper sitting position, but I was rewarded for craning my head over Cheerilee’s bent-over back with a sight I’d been wanting to see all night; not from any pony in particular, but just in general.

Snails was staring at his teacher’s sexy, suggestive swaying. The piece of meat I’d ogled before starting our little ‘contest’ wasn’t soft anymore – from the size in comparison, it didn’t look like it was hard all the way either, but there was a definite stiffness to the giant thing standing up between Snails’ legs. Goddamn did it look huge. I have no idea how Cheerilee managed to keep herself under control in class with such a colossal, perfectly gigantic length of cock waiting for her only feet away. Even from just a glance I wanted to grab it in my hands and feel how big it was, caress every inch with my fingertips, and then see how good it would feel to wrap both my hands around and start jerking that huge fucking rod until its owner sprayed a hot stream of-

Woah.

Um.

I clenched my legs together as Cheerilee returned to her normal posture, and hoped the three audience members present were focused on the sexy school teacher in front of me instead of my not so subtle lip-biting and ogling.

Cheerilee smiled as she walked up beside me and gave me a swish of her tail as well. I could smell the wine we’d shared earlier as she wafted her tail under my nose, and a little something I hadn’t noticed about Cheerilee before; a particular scent, like school chalkboards mixed with soft flowers and fancy pillows and ‘take me back to your bed right now and make love to me until I can’t say my own name’.

Hngh.

I shuffled on my feet again, hoping I wasn’t showing anything that someone might see through my clothes. I was wearing jeans, so that wasn’t much of a worry.

But.

My nipples were pretty hard under my shirt.

No bra.

Damn.

I guess I’d have to hope that ponies, not doing the whole ‘boobs’ thing, wouldn’t pick up on how obviously turned on I was from the two pointed tips on my tits.

The shirt I was wearing felt very heavy all of a sudden. It made me wish Cheerilee would turn the fireplace on so I could use that to keep myself warm instead of the stupid cloth fabric over my chest.

And, while I was at it, why not take the jeans out of the equation as well…

“Well, that’s it for me. I hope my performance is enough to go by, gentleponies.” Cheerilee’s speech pulled me out of the reverie of my clothesless speculation and back into the present.

The three stallions on the couch murmured an assent of ‘mh-hmm’s and bobbed their heads in approval.

Oh god.

Snails’ dick bounced with the rest of his body. The tip bobbed up and down like a candy apple on a stick that I wanted so badly to get my mouth around…

“So, Samantha. I hope you have something prepared to present to our guests as well.” Cheerilee sounded like she was lecturing me in class, chiding me for coming to school with an ill-prepared homework assignment. I pulled my gaze away from Snails’ painfully attention-grabbing dong and looked at her uncertainly.

“Um… sure. I dunno if I can make myself look as good as you though.”

Cheerilee smirked at me and gave me a wink that seemed to go unnoticed by the peanut gallery.

“Don’t worry, dear. I’m sure your natural talents will speak for themselves.”

I swallowed nervously and turned to face the audience on the couch.

Better start with some kind of sexy dance routine as best I could manage–

“Hold on a minute.”

Snails’ voice interrupted me before I was even a few seconds into what was bound to be a clumsy start to a dance move I’d seen in a bad music video several years ago. I paused and turned to him, breaking the imaginary strip-club wall I’d put up in my mind.

“Yes, Snails?” Cheerilee asked, soothing and motherly as though she was completely oblivious to the giant dick swaying in between her favorite student’s legs.

“This isn’t really fair, is it?” he asked.

I felt crushed. Was the contest over already? I knew Cheerilee would out-sexy me any day of the week, but if she was right, I was hoping I’d at least have the ‘foreign beauty’ thing going for me…

“What do you mean, Snails?” Cheerilee asked, stepping forward a bit from her waiting place by the fireplace. I focused my attention alongside hers, both of us looking at Snails and trying to ignore the sizable distraction staring us right in the face.

“Well,” he started, sounding as though he was puzzling out each word as he went along, “it’s not a good comparison, ‘cause… Miss Cheerilee’s not wearing anything. And you’ve got… stuff on.”

He called her ‘Miss Cheerilee’. Why was that so hot?

He was right, too.

“That’s a very good point, Snails. It’s not really fair to our judges if we’re not both on an even playing field. Don’t you agree, Samantha?”

Why did she have to put me on the spot like that?

I felt a flush of red run across my cheeks as Cheerilee suddenly focused her attention on me.

“Well, yes… I mean, no… sort of. It’s kind of… different, where I come from. With humans, I mean.”

“How?” Snails asked obliviously, still rocking back and forth in his seat slightly, his engorged member bobbing along with his motion.

I bit my lip and tried not to squirm.

“Well,” I started, unsure of how best to explain my species’ fixation with the avoidance of nudity, “normally humans are only naked when they’re… around someone they, uh. Someone they’re really comfortable with. “ I considered the host of a few guys I’d brought back to my apartment and been anything but comfortable with. “Or, when they’re, uh, going to be intimate with someone.”

That might suffice for an explanation.

“Oh,” Snails said. He looked down for a moment, as though pondering the information I’d given him. He raised his head after a few seconds.

“Does that mean you and Miss Cheerilee are gonna be in-ta-mate with us?”

I wished dearly I’d had a drink to spit. Instead I had to settle for coughing.

Cheerilee kept her composure a bit better, but I could see the giant grin creeping across her face. Big Mac and Caramel were toggling their attention back and forth between Snails and me, both of them trying to avoid the very noticeably not-so-girly thing behind them.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Snails,” Cheerilee cautioned, smirking like a Cheshire Cat.

Gah.

“I do agree that Samantha is doing herself no favours by keeping her clothes on though. It’s not fair to our judges if she hides her beautiful body and doesn’t let them see both contestants properly.”

If my face wasn’t completely red, surely the blush must be spreading to the rest of my body as well.

“Don’t you think so too, Samantha?” Cheerilee asked, leaning towards me and giving a very pointed nudge to my tummy with her outstretched hoof.

“I guess so…” I mumbled, rubbing one of my arms awkwardly.

“Excellent! So, I’ll let you get on with your turn then. Whenever you’re ready.”

The eyes of the three stallions in front of me felt suddenly very hot on my skin. It felt like being back in middle-school gym class, changing in front of everyone for the first time. Except, I don’t recall being soaking wet changing for my first gym class.

The fabric under my hands felt alien as I tucked my fingers under the bottom of my shirt. This would be the easy part – one swift motion and the shirt would be off. As for the jeans and panties underneath… well, I’d have to deal with that when I got there.

Just like taking off a band-aid, I thought to myself, and yanked my shirt off with one fluid motion.

The silence in the room felt suddenly unbearable.

I wanted to clench my eyes shut and block out the rest of the room, but I knew I couldn’t, or shouldn’t, so I settled on starting awkwardly at the couch with my face scrunched. I felt like I needed someone to say something – anything – to take away the awkward feeling of self-doubt at suddenly exposing my boobs and chub to a room full of presumably turned-on stallions.

Snails was the first to pipe up.

“What are those?” he asked in his voice that always sounded just a bit forced. It reminded me a little of a Canadian accent.

Still; that wasn’t the compliment I’d been looking for.

I wanted to melt into the ground, but the laws of physics prevented that.

Cheerilee glared at Snails, an expression it seemed like he was used to. He at least had the courtesy to look embarrassed for the bluntness of his question. Cheerilee looked to take that as apology enough, and she softened her expression before answering.

“Those are breasts, Snails, just the same as any mare has. Though, pony breasts are normally only visible at that size when they’re engorged, which occurs primarily when expecting after mating, to provide the foal with milk.”

How could Cheerilee make talking about tits sound so… educational?

“Oh,” Snails said. “Is she expecting now?”

“No,” I blurted out, fighting every urge in my body to cover my tits with some sort of crude hand bra. “Mine are just… always that big.”

“Oh,” Snails said again.

He let the revelation hang in the air for a moment before he spoke again.

“They’re pretty,” he said.

My skin must have looked like a ripe tomato.

Cheerilee made a sound like she was holding back a giggle, then smiled at Snails and nodded.

“I agree, Snails, they are very pretty.”

How did a ‘sexy show off’ turn into a lesson about human anatomy, anyway?

“What do the rest of you think?” Cheerilee asked, trying to include Big Mac and Caramel in a conversation they were too sensible to have gotten into in the first place.

Caramel shrunk into himself a little bit out of embarrassment, but nodded his head.

“Yeah, they’re pretty.”

Cheerilee turned her attention to Big Mac, who looked a good deal more anxious than I’d expected.

I let my eyes fall between his legs.

Oh.

Please let that be what I think it is.

“They’re, uh… real nice. Wouldn’t mind… seein’ the rest of what’s there too, mind. Certainly a treat to look at.”

For a pony that seemed intent on keeping an economy of words, Big Mac managed to say a mouthful about my pair, and then some besides.

I think I was starting to like him.

“Thanks,” I muttered, still feeling flustered and out of my element – which, to be fair, I was, pretty much by definition. The fact that I had the equipment of the three stallions in front of me on my mind and was praying none of them would notice how interested in that equipment I was when I took my pants off didn’t help matters.

“Well then, Samantha, would you be so kind as to continue with your performance?”

I gulped and nodded.

What was the best way to do this? Turned around, probably, so I didn’t have to look at them. They’d see either way. At least this way I could… put on a proper show.

I took a large mouthful of air and held it in my lungs as I turned around. The button on my jeans was suddenly a complex lock, fighting every effort to be undone. I managed to push the button out before my lungs screamed at me for another breath, but let go the chestful of air I was holding in as I slid my zipper down. I pictured the interested ear-perks and maybe something else perks behind me as I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my pants and underwear and pulled them down.

Getting undressed had never seemed much of a show, but at least I knew it was something I was good at.

As I shuffled out of my jeans, taking care to remove my socks in this process (who wants to be naked with just their socks on?), I noted that despite the fact that I was now wearing less clothes, my body was noticeably hotter.

I felt a thickness in the air behind me even without turning around.

“Dang.”

Big Mac’s voice.

He must be able to see how...

“Come on, Samantha, it’s not polite to keep your eyes off your audience for so long,” Cheerilee chided. I wasn’t sure if she was revelling in my embarrassment or if she just wanted to get on with the evening.

Steeling myself with another large breath, I stood up and turned around before I had time to change my mind. The sight waiting for me on the couch made me glad no one could see between my legs anymore as long as I held them together.

All three stallions had apparently been paying very close attention.

I took a few seconds to get a look at each one. Snails, as already noted, was definitely the biggest – I’d been hoping Big Mac would have a secret surprise to live up to his namesake, but Snails had the monopoly on size, despite his age. Big Mac was nothing to scoff at though; I felt an extra shiver run down my back and a tiny trickle of wetness between my legs as I finally got a proper look at him. He did look about as big as my entire forearm, just like Cheerilee had indicated. In terms of size and shape... well, I hadn’t really been too sure what to expect. I mean, I was technically dealing with ponies, even if they happened to be smart and small and colorful. So, it made sense that none of them would be packing anything that looked ‘human’. Surprisingly, the slender shape and vaguely mottled texture didn’t seem off-putting at all; all I could think about was the size and how tingly just looking at Big Mac’s poorly concealed penis made me feel.

Caramel was nothing to scoff at either; it would have been hard to live up to the size of either of the two stallions on either side of him, but his length was still more than impressive. It almost reminded me more of a human’s size than a pony’s, except that if he’d been a guy I’d dragged home from the bar, I would have gone to bed happy I’d finally found someone not too disappointing.

I noticed Cheerilee grinning at me out of the corner of my eye, and stopped my staring as best I could manage.

“I think that, given the reaction, that we might have our winner. Wouldn’t you say so, gentlecolts?” Cheerilee asked the crowd, gesturing pointedly to my naked body. I tried to hunch into myself, but stopped as I realized I was doing no favours by tucking away the parts of me that seemed to be getting the most attention at the moment. I did feel a little self-conscious about the bulge of my stomach no longer covered by my shirt, but I don’t think that’s what anyone was focusing on anyway.

“I’m not too sure,” Big Mac said. His face was flushed, and it occurred to me as he spoke that I wasn’t the only one feeling embarrassed; Big Mac seemed flustered over how noticeably aroused he was, which only made me want him more. “I mean, y’all are both real nice to look at.”

“You’re both really pretty,” Snails chimed in, completely unashamed of the giant size of his cock swaying back and forth as he jostled in his seat.

“Very pretty,” Caramel echoed, reverting back to his pre-alcohol timidness.

Cheerilee set her eyes on Caramel as he spoke, and trotted over to him, her tail bobbing behind her butt as she walked. I managed to divert my attention from the viewing gallery of manliness to pay attention to her backside, and then the rest of her body as she reached the couch and leaned close to Caramel, moving with complete ireverrence to his prominent erection inches below her face.

“Is that true, Caramel? You think we’re both pretty?” Cheerilee turned her body as she spoke and began wafting her tail under Caramel’s nose, tickling the air in front of him with her pink ice-cream bob.

“I, uh, well...” Caramel stammered. It was easy to tell he wasn’t used to this much attention, especially coupled with the drinks and his stallionhood being on display for everyone to see.

Cheerilee giggled at his reaction.

“There’s no need to get flustered, Caramel. I was just teasing.” Cheerilee pulled herself back from the couch, flicking her tail one last time before giving a quick look to each of our three guests.

“Of course... teasing isn’t nice. As a rule, I try to avoid it because it just leaves everyone frustrated. Wouldn’t you agree, Samantha?”

“Yes,” I said, picking up on Cheerilee’s intent without even a wink. I was still fighting the urge to grab my clothes and cover myself immediately, but the insistence of my hormones and yearning for the thing I’d been waiting for all night won out. “I hate teasing too. I can tell you guys really appreciate the show we put on for you, and I think the fact that you’re willing to show it so much means we owe you some kind of a thank you.”

I felt a small conflict settling in the back of my head. On one hand, I remembered night after night of bad clubs with bad drinks and badly dressed guys rubbing up on to me while dancing, grinding their less than impressive erections onto my butt through their clothes. I’d never felt any obligation to them, nor did I have any qualms about ‘teasing’ them.

But right now, I felt guilty, like I owed the painfully aroused stallions in front of me some kind of compensation just for their display of excitement. Probably, more than anything, my brain was just confusing my natural enthusiasm with some kind of internal justification for wanting to get on my hands and knees and see how much of Big Mac’s dick I could fit down my throat before I started choking.

Which was fine by me.

“We’d hate to be teases, wouldn’t we, Samantha?” Cheerilee asked, sidling up to Snails as she spoke. For the first time that night, I caught a hint of understanding in Snails’ eyes, as though he might finally be cluing in to why he’d been asked over in the first place.

“Definitely,” I said, walking up to Big Mac on the opposite end of the couch. He moved his hooves to try to cover his erection, but the difference in visibility was almost laughable; I could still see most of his length from behind his makeshift shielding, and it just made me want to pull his hooves away and take the rest into my own hands.

“I don’t have a problem taking care of our guests if you do,” Cheerilee went on, lowering herself to the floor next to Snails and placing one of her hooves on his leg. I could see his eyes widen as the inevitable tingle of Cheerilee’s proximity to his youthful excitement jolted through his body.

“No way, I’d be more than happy to. That is... if you guys don’t mind?”

I don’t know why I needed to bring the question of consent into the matter. I couldn’t think of a guy in the world that would say no to getting his hard-on taken care of by a pair of drunken, horny girls practically slavering over the size of their dick.

Maybe Caramel.

I kneeled next to Big Mac and put my hand on his leg the same as Cheerilee had done. It took every inch of willpower to keep myself from grabbing his big, swinging dong and going to town on it, but I looked at him with a bit of a pout, hoping he’d give his approval for me to finally start touching him.

There was a battle going on behind his eyes. I could only guess at why – maybe he was just a ‘proper’ pony who was saving himself from marriage. Or maybe he thought it was too taboo to have a human girl jerk him off in what could easily become an orgy with a single suggestion.

I stuck out my lower lip a little further and leaned forward, giving him a good view of my tits. I could feel the last of his walls crumble.

“Okay,” he said after a moment’s pause. I fought the urge to jump for joy.

So, that just left one.

“Caramel? You don’t mind if we help you take care of that, do you?” I reached my hand towards him and, surprising even myself, lightly poked the head of his cock, making it bounce up and down once or twice.

Caramel clenched his teeth and hissed in a mouthful of air as my finger touched him. He didn’t speak for a moment, but shook his head back and forth. After a few seconds more, he managed to open his mouth.

“No,” he said simply. “Don’t have a problem.”

Success.

“Great,” I said, smiling at him. “I’ll be over in just a minute.”

But first, there was somepony else who I desperately wanted to get my hands on.

Big Stallions and Bigger Stallions (SEX GOES HERE)

I was almost afraid to touch it. While it looked a little more inviting than the one or two horsecocks I’d spotted in my erstwhile adventures into seedy places on the internet, Big Mac’s dick was still very similar, and huge besides. I could only imagine what it might feel like inside me... but, if all went well, that part of the night would come later.

I guess the only thing to do was to dive right in.

Big Mac didn’t speak as I wrapped my right hand around the middle of his shaft – but, to my delight, he did throw his head back and close his eyes, apparently struggling to keep himself quiet. I felt a jolt of enthusiastic pleasure go through my body at the same instant, and placed my left hand below my right, circling my fingers around the giant piece of meat in front of me.

Luckily Big Mac’s girth was only hugely impressive, rather than monstrous. Lengthwise, on the other hand, there was no way I was going to get even a decent portion of his rod in my hands. The few inches I managed to grab felt pretty much like every other dick I’d handled, with the difference being mostly the size and how warm it was. It felt like putting my hands in front of a well-heated fireplace, and then being given a giant length of dick to occupy myself with as I got warmed up.

Tentatively, I pressed my hands together to get as much in one grasp as I could, and tried moving them up and down. It felt like re-learning how to give a handjob all over again.

I let out a tiny sigh of relief as I felt Big Mac’s length twitch in my hands. He lowered his head back down, and watched me as I attempted to wrangle the frighteningly large size of his unit. His eyes on me made me feel even hotter, and I tried another stroke in the opposite direction, sliding my hands all the way down his tender but rock-hard skin until I met the base of his shaft and pressed down.

He didn’t speak, but he let out a hot breath of air onto the top of my head.

It occurred to me at that instant that, in my imagination, I hadn’t pictured Big Mac letting out even the slightest sign of enjoyment. But, it also occured to me that, while I’m sure there was no shortage of mares lining for a piece of his namesake, as much as he might or might not have spent hours railing prospective rutting partners, he’d probably never felt hands before.

There was a lot you could do with a well-used pair of hands.

I grinned to myself as I moved my arms in tandem, stroking all the way up to Big Mac’s head. I slid my right hand up a bit further, breaking the conjoinment of my fingers and rubbing my palm over the tip of his head. I held back an excited squeal as I felt the moisture of his precum against my skin, and I rubbed it a bit harder, spreading the clear liquid over the whole surface of his tip before sliding my right hand back down to meet my left. I only waited a few seconds before slipping them both back down to the base of his cock, and then back up again, starting to pick up speed and build a small rhythm.

“Geez.” Big Mac spoke, and I masked my delight at breaking his restrained composure. “That feels, uh, really good.” He sounded almost surprised, as though he hadn’t been expecting to pushed so far over the edge of his normal expectations for pleasure. I recognized the tone a bit; it sounded like the self-shocked words of a guy who’d gotten in a few thrusts before shooting off, cumming too quick even to be embarrassed – just confused.

I leaned forward as I moved my hands up and down Big Mac’s shaft, blowing a little breath onto his skin when my hands were at the top or bottom of his shaft. Every time I reached his head I was greeted with another bit of precum, which I spread over my palm before returning to my downstroke. Big Mac’s hips moved with my hands every time, and the tiny smack that went through the air when my hands collided with the bottom of his shaft made me shiver.

I wanted desperately to keep going, and to test my theory about Big Mac’s response to my alien human touch being a faceful of his cum sooner than he’d ever expected – but there were two other stallions in the room, and at least one of them was feeling left out.

I chanced a look over at Cheerilee, wanting dearly to see what she’d managed to get up to while I’d started my own attentions. To my surprise, she was still in front of Snails, but wasn’t touching him other than the hoof on his knee. Whether she’d been waiting for me to look, or just examining her evening’s prize, I couldn’t be sure, but the moment I looked over, she raised her hoof, though giving no sign that she had looked over to see me turn.

“Snails,” she asked, “have you ever had somepony touch you here before?” She prodded Snails’ unbelievably huge dick, and Snails watched it move with the force of her touch, bobbing back and forth once or twice.

Snails shook his head.

“Do you know how good it feels when somepony does? I think you might really like it.” Cheerilee leaned closer towards Snails and smiled at him, her eyes half closed as she looked towards her student. She couldn’t lean over top of his cock – it was so big, she had to settle for taking a spot beside it.

“Sometimes I touch it myself,” Snails said. I cringed at his painful obliviousness, but Cheerilee didn’t bat an eyelash. If anything, she almost seemed more interested.

“You do?” She asked, and began running her hoof up and down Snails’ leg, moving closer and closer to the base of his cock with each caress. “And how does it feel when you do that?”

“Pretty good,” Snails said, his eyes glazed over in contemplation. “Well, I don’t... I don’t touch it, really. I just kind of, like, move back and forth, and it swings up and hits my tummy, and it starts to feel really really good until it stops, and white stuff shoots out everywhere.”

Cheerilee’s stroking of Snails’ legs stopped abruptly. Though I’m not sure if Snails’ noticed it, I saw a definite clenching of her legs. She ground them together for a few seconds before returning her attention to Snails.

“Is... is that so?” Cheerilee’s voice sounded hot and flustered, like she was parsing information through a blazing desire to dispense with the foreplay and throw herself onto Snails’ dick. But, just like the Cheerilee I knew, she kept her cool as best she could. I couldn’t see quite where she was coming from for a second, but as I thought about it, the idea of Big Mac doing the same thing – slapping his dick against his belly until he shot all over himself – was pretty ridiculously hot too.

“Do you... do you think you could show me what that looks like?” she asked. One of her hooves disappeared, and I could see it dart down between her legs for a few seconds before returning to her side.

“Sure,” Snails said. Without a second thought, or even reorienting his position, Snails rocked his hips back and forth – and, true to his word, his cock bumped up against his belly with each shake, making a lewd ‘slap’ as it did so.

Cheerilee’s tongue hung out for a minute, but she quickly retrieved it.

“That’s... very good, Snails. But, I’d like to show you something that feels even better.”

“You wou–ah!” Snails’ rhetoric was cut off by Cheerilee as, with complete abandon, she gave up on the tiniest semblance of her restraint and took the head of Snails’ cock into her mouth.

I couldn’t help but lick my lips as I watched her work on swallowing the first few inches of her pupil’s behemoth.

It reminded me there was another well-sized apparatus still without attention, and one with a more practical size besides; perfect for testing out my first taste of pony cock.

“Caramel, are you feeling left out?”

Caramel looked away from me as I leaned towards him. I kept my left hand on Big Mac’s cock, no part of my ready to give it away, but I placed my right on Caramel’s leg and began rubbing it up and down, feeling the warm softness of his yellow fur underneath my fingertips. I considered apologizing for the drips of Big Mac’s precum I must surely be smearing in it, but I figured that both of us had more important things on our mind. He could always take a bath later anyway.

“No, it’s okay,” Caramel murmured, tucking his head towards his chest as though he was embarrassed by my attention.

If Cheerilee a few moments earlier had taught me anything, it was that hesitation was not the right approach.

Without giving warning, I reached forward and grabbed Caramel’s shaft with my right hand. He jerked as my fingers wrapped around his dick, and I smiled to myself, pleased, as I noticed the size of it compared to Big Mac’s. It was bigger than any guy’s that I’d been with, for sure – but it seemed more manageable than Big Mac’s. His I was having trouble even jerking off... Caramel seemed like he’d be a perfect fit for my mouth, no problem.

“It’s okay, Caramel,” I murmured as I leaned towards him. “I wasn’t going to forget about you.”

I closed my eyes and wrapped my lips around the head of Caramel’s cock as the last word left my mouth.

Caramel shouted something unintelligible as I took the first few inches of him into my mouth. He was a bit thicker than what I was used to, and still probably more than I could take without working my gag reflex a little, but nothing horrifyingly big. In fact, he felt nice. I caught myself moaning softly as I lowered my head further, getting halfway down his shaft before pulling back up, leaving a thick coating of saliva along his skin. As I lifted my lips off the head of his cock, I let a long strand of spit dangle between my mouth and the tip of his dick, and looked up into his eyes for his reaction.

He stared at me, shocked, as though he was unable to process the sight in front of him, let alone the feeling I’d left him with.

Guys have always liked my blowjobs – the messiness especially. I know I like it, anyway.

Without waiting for further approval, I lowered my head back to Caramel’s cock and dived down as much of his length as I could take in a single go. I was just a few inches from the base when I felt his head poking against the back of my throat, and I slobbered up his length again, pressing my tongue against the underside of his shaft and giving a lick to his hole starting to drip with precum as I reached the top of my arc. I didn’t wait as long before lowering this time, and started a quick up and down, letting liberal amounts of my saliva out as I bobbed my head. I kept my left hand moving shakily up and down Big Mac’s giant dick, and moved my right one elsewhere, sliding my fingertips up the inside of Caramel’s thigh until I found his balls, big and full and dangling right under the base of his cock.

He jumped when I squeezed them, and I felt his cock twitch in my mouth.

If he was as much of a virgin as he looked, that probably meant he wasn’t going to last long.

After feeling Caramel’s head at the back of my throat for the umpeenth time, I decided to see if I was up to the task of fitting the entire length of his dick inside my mouth. I tried to remember the trick to keep myself from gagging, and instead settled on just going with what felt natural; sliding my head down further, centimeter by centimeter, until, to my great relief, I felt my nose against Caramel’s crotch, and my hand only inches away, still fondling his nuts.

I was surprised when I didn’t feel his cum in the back of my throat, but just having him all the way inside was a treat. I already felt like I’d have to apologize to Cheerilee for the cleaning I was sure her carpet was going to need after I dripped all over it.

I decided to take a look at Cheerilee to see how she was doing. My mouth would have fallen open if it wasn’t full of dick.

Cheerilee was slobbering all over Snails’ cock like a champ, taking in over half the size of the gigantic thing with each bob of her head. She was moving like she was running an oral marathon, her lips making tiny schlup schlup sounds as she went to town on the giant horsecock in front of her.

Snails looked like he wasn’t sure how to react. He was half reclined, half upright in amazement, and one of his hooves was on the back of Cheerilee’s head, stroking her bubblegum pink mane as she sucked his dick.

I couldn’t pull my eyes away from them, so I kept staring as I took Caramel’s shaft into my second deep-throat of the night.

I felt the twitch under my fingers before I felt it in the back of my throat.

The first blast came with only that second’s warning; hot, and thick, and fast, spraying over my tongue and as far down my esophagus as Caramel could manage. I’m not the type of girl adverse to swallowing, but the sudden delivery combined with the volume surprised me, so I pulled my head back as fast as I could manage. Caramel got one more spurt into my mouth proper before the head of his cock popped out of my lips and the next jet hit me in the face, painting my forehead and my left cheek with what felt like a ridiculous amount of cum. Like, I was still working on swallowing the first two shots, and then the third one felt like someone had dumped a glass of mixed frosting onto my face.

Caramel’s balls twitched against my palm with every shot, and I had the presence of mind to give them a squeeze every few seconds as he rewarded me with his fourth and fifth spurts. The last one capped off with a dribble, a stream of his cum leaking down his shaft and onto my wrist as I gave his balls a final tug.

The term ‘facial’ was one hundred percent appropriate. I looked like I’d been given an appointment at a beauty center specializing in horse cum revitalization masks. Here I’d been expecting Big Mac to finish earlier than expected, and Caramel had gone and–

Oh, that’s right.

I turned my attention back to Big Macintosh without bothering to clean myself up. I was still downing the last few traces of semen left lingering on my tongue. Luckily, Caramel’s shots had missed my eyes, so I could still see fine, which meant my right hand didn’t have any trouble finding it’s place next to my left as I resumed stroking Big Mac with both hands. The look on his face at the look of my face was priceless, but I didn’t pay it any attention. I was too wrapped up in giving him a proper handjob again; I felt almost guilty that I couldn’t suck him off the same way I’d managed Caramel (there was no way I could fit any decent amount of his dick in my mouth), so I put as much effort as I could into my stroking, just the right amount of light touch in my fingertips, and special attention to his head and base.

His eyes said it, as well as the shaking of his hips as he met each of my strokes with a stronger thrust.

“Gettin’, uh...”

“Close?” I finished for him, looking up at him through my faceful of cum and batting my eyelashes. I felt a tingle in my stomach when he twitched as I spoke. Either I was doing a good job of being slutty and cute at the same time, or he really liked me. Maybe both.

“Uh huh,” he managed, gritting his teeth and struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Where do you want to cum?” I asked him, lowering my left hand to his balls and giving them a squeeze before resuming my two-handed movement. His balls were much bigger than Caramel’s, and much heavier besides. I felt another twitch as I touched them. His cocked seemed extra hard in my hands as I stared up at him expectantly.

He seemed embarrassed at my request, but I could see the gears in his head turning in contemplation. He looked me over once or twice, no doubt exploring the possibilities of a new species of partner with a whole new avenue of places to deliver his load. His eyes settled on my chest.

“I wouldn’t, ah, mind finishin’ on your, uh...”

“My tits?” I asked bluntly, keeping my voice as innocent as possible. “You wanna blow your big load on my tits?”

“Yes,” he managed, sounding breathless. He didn’t even wait a second before I felt him twitch in my hands, extra hard this time.

“Gonna...”

I stood up a bit and aimed his cock towards my breasts as best I could, jerking frantically.

He came in almost a spray. It wasn’t like Caramel, who’d given a few shots the way I was used to. Big Macintosh came like a fire-hose, spraying my chest with a long, continuous rope of his cum, thick and white and hot against my skin. I moaned out loud unabashedly as I felt his jizz splash across my skin, and I reduced my attention to one hand jerking and holding him as I used my right to rub his cum against my tits. The thickness of it against my palm was amazing, and it felt even better when I squeezed and pressed it into my breasts, feeling shudders course down my spine and right to my crotch as I pressed my palm against my nipples and slathered them in Big Mac’s cum.

After a few seconds the last drip of Big Mac’s load hung at the end of his cock, and I leaned forward and licked it up with my tongue, slathering over his tip and taking the head into my mouth for a few seconds and sucking. I pulled his cock out with a ‘pop’ and leaned back, sighing as the last of his cum settled onto my tits.

I looked over to Cheerilee again. She had beaten me; she was pulling off Snails’ cock with a full look on her face, and Snails’ contended groan let me know that she had swallowed his entire load of cum.

Or, at least most of it. A tiny bit had dribbled from the corner of her mouth onto her chin.

“You’ve got a little something...” I said, completely irrelevant of the oddity of the situation as I pointed out the dollop of white she had below her lower lip.

Cheerilee looked at me like she wasn’t sure where I’d come from. She raised a hoof to her mouth shakily and rubbed it against the side of her face opposite the dab of cum.

“No,” I said, shuffling across the carpet in Cheerilee’s direction. “Here, let me...”

My fingers touched against her face for a moment before I felt Cheerilee’s hooves on the back of my neck, pulling my face forward. I had enough time to grab a short breath before she yanked my mouth to hers, and I felt her lips pursed for a second before parting, dragging me into a kiss.

Cheerilee’s kissing was incredible. So hungry and desperate, unhindered or maybe spurred on by what must be a stomach full of freshly milked cum. I could taste it on her tongue, which she invited of her own accord into my mouth, swiveling and snaking it around my own and using it to drag moans out of me that I’d thought I could keep hidden from a simple kiss. Cheerilee’s kiss was different; she kissed with her whole body, pressing her chest against me, swishing her tail behind her back, even though I couldn’t see it, and dragging my attention into her embrace, making me pant and moan and feel the sweat on every inch of my skin.

She let the kiss part for a moment to gather breath, and I took the chance to lick her chin, grabbing the dollop of cum and bringing it into my mouth. Her eyes went wide, and she took a mouthful of air before diving back in, burying me in lips flavoured with red wine and a hint of salt.

After she stopped the kiss for a second time I fell backwards panting and landed roughly on the carpet, gasping for breath. Cheerilee remained more composed, but I could hear her panting nearby, evidently as breathless from the kiss as I was.

“That was... something,” I managed through my attempts to gather air. No one responded. After a few seconds, I pulled myself up off the floor, turning to the couch of stallions beside me.

Every single one of them was still rock-hard. I fought to keep my jaw from dropping.

“You guys are still pretty excited, huh,” I said, stating the obvious. I felt Cheerilee’s hoof on my back suddenly, rubbing softly against my bare, sweaty skin.

“They certainly are. Do you think we should do something about that, Samantha?”

Yes. One hundred percent yes.

“Of course,” I said, turning to Cheerilee and smiling at her. She grinned back at me.

“I’d be happy to continue, but my mouth and hooves are sooooo sore after that... I don’t suppose there’s any other way we could have fun?” Cheerilee asked, her voice oozing with put-on innocence and oblivious sexiness.

I turned to the couch and spread my legs with a smirk, giving all three stallions a full view of my dripping wet pussy. I wasn’t interested in beating around the bush anymore.

“Have any of you guys ever wanted to fuck a human girl before?” I asked.

The scramble from one end of the couch was my answer. I turned my head and found Big Mac looking embarrassedly attentive, standing up from his seat but trying to look away, as though he hadn’t literally jumped at the chance to rail me. I wasn’t about to chide him; he’d had me from the second I’d seen him hard. If there was anyone I wanted to lose my human-pony virginity with, it was him.

But, there were three stallions, and Cheerilee didn’t seem like a ‘double-penetration’ sort of girl to me, nor did I feel like one myself. Though... I did have a mouth and set of hands.

“I’ll can take two, if you want some one-on-one time with your... special guest,” I said, giving Cheerilee an appraising grin.

She beamed at me, but tempered her enthusiasm with a clearing of her throat and closing of her eyes.

“As much as I’d like to, I think it’s only fair if we shake things up a bit. I don’t mean to play favourites.”

I almost let my mouth fall open in disbelief. Here Cheerilee had gone to all the trouble of getting Snails over in the first place, getting him drunk, finally managed to get him hard, swallowing a stomachful of his cum – and now she was turning down the chance to get fucked by her freakishly huge dicked student?

I was at a loss for words.

“We’ll trade up again after,” she said, smiling at me. “Why don’t you take Snails and Big Macintosh, and I’ll help Caramel enjoy the rest of his evening?”

‘Taking’ Snails and Big Macintosh seemed like a bit more than I could handle, the first one especially.

But, I’ve never been a girl to give up on a challenge.

“Sure,” I said, and Cheerilee smiled at me again.

“Come here Caramel,” she said, beckoning the still bashful looking stallion over with a wave of her foreleg. “I know Samantha can be a bit forthright, and I’m sure you’re the type of colt who’d prefer to take things a little bit slower, yes? Why don’t you let me ease you into things...”

After all this was over, I might talk to Cheerilee about some sort of professional ‘first time’ service for inexperienced stallions. I’d never imagined leading someone into sex as reassuringly as she did.

Caramel seemed convinced. He hopped off the couch and wavered for a moment, still shaky from the alcohol coursing through his bloodstream. Cheerilee went to him and took his hoof, leading him over to a clear stretch of carpet which I imagined would join the list of things that would need cleaning after the night was over.

“Come on Snails,” I said, eyeing his giant dick as he picked himself up from the couch. Luckily he didn’t need any convincing – I probably could have told him to wait patiently and he would have obliged, but that would have made things much less fun.

Big Macintosh was waiting for me expectantly on the other side of the couch. Even though all the ponies in Equestria were smaller than me in comparison, Big Mac almost looked like a real horse in that moment, big and burly and strong. I placed my hand on his head as I walked up next to him, and he met my touch with a nuzzle of his head, rubbing his sandy blonde mane into my palm which was still a bit sticky with his cum. He didn’t seem to mind at all though. I stroked his mane a few times, running my fingers through his hair and drifting occasionally to the base of his ear which I rubbed with a finger. He exhaled softly, but still loud enough for me to hear, and rubbed his head harder into my touch as I scratched. I almost giggled, and moved my hand again, running it along his back, feeling the firmness of his body. I stroked him a few times, letting my fingers rest against his tail for a bit before finally moving my arm back to my side.

If I had been nervous at all before then, I was calm now – and still soaking wet.

Big Mac nuzzled his head against my shoulder and pushed a bit, pointing towards the ground.

“Why don’t you lie down’?”

I did as asked without hesitation. The carpet was a bit rougher than I would have liked, and it scratched my back a little as I lied down, but the warmth still coursing through my body and the anticipation of what was to come let me relax and close my eyes for a moment, sighing into the open air of the living room.

I jumped a little as I felt Big Mac’s nose on my skin. It was a little chillier than I expected, though not as cold as a dog’s might be. He started by pressing it into my leg, just below my waist. I tensed as he moved it around, nuzzling softly into my thighs and calves before nudging upwards. I grasped at a handful of carpet as I felt his proximity drift nearby the inbetween of my legs, but he moved away as soon as he’d come close, travelling up past my waist and onto my stomach. I giggled a little bit as I felt his lips kiss against my belly button and then move upward again.

Finally he reached my chest, and I shivered and let out a little moan as his mouth circled around my right breast, moving around and around, in between and to the outside. My nipples were hard, standing up straight despite the relatively warm air of the room, and my own skin besides. After what felt like an agonizing eternity, Big Mac parted his lips and carefully prodded my breast with his tongue.

The warmth and size were surprising; his tongue was almost big enough to cover my whole breast. He licked softly at first, pressing down gently over my nipple and lapping once across before turning his attention to my other side. I shivered as he licked there too, feeling the warm texture of his tongue and the subtle moisture of his saliva left behind. He licked my tits for a bit, back and forth to one, and then the other, spreading his attention between them. It was already enough to make me quiver; the anticipation in my head and the feeling of being so dirty and wanton with the gaggle of boys who’d been watching my all night had already gotten me soaking wet, and now Big Mac’s tongue felt like scorching hot fire on my skin, making my hips jerk against nothing as he licked, and my fingers clench into the carpet, begging silently for more.

Big Mac surprised me by tracing his tongue along my skin to my shoulder, and then my neck, lapping surprisingly softly for such a big pony. I swooned into his touch without restraint, moaning to show my approval as he caressed me with his tongue. He withdrew his tongue once or twice and nuzzled me with his snout in between his licks. I wanted dearly for him to kiss me there, or anywhere, but he kept his attentions restrained, just licking or nuzzling, so tenderly and attentively I felt like I was going crazy. After a while, long enough for my entire body to scream for more, he pulled his tongue away, and I felt the heat of his breath and the proximity of his mouth vanish. I opened my eyes.

Big Mac stared at me from a few inches away, smiling.

I wanted to smile back at him, but could only manage a soft, breathless grin before I opened my mouth to speak.

“Big Mac,” I said, reaching one of my hands towards him and running it through his hair. “I want you...”

He surprised me again; this time with a kiss.

I’d never thought about kissing a pony before, but Big Mac took away any doubt that was in my mind. His lips were big, and not particularly elegant, certainly nothing like Cheerilee’s had been – but his kiss was warm, and masculine, and all-consuming, and I moaned into his mouth without restraint as he kissed me. I wanted to throw my arms and legs around him and pull him closer and beg him to be inside me, but my begging was stayed by his lips and just a hint of his tongue, as well as the distance of his body away from mine. He was bigger than I’d thought at first glance, and there was no way I could reach him, so I contented myself with kissing him, hard, and passionately, moaning the whole time.

He moved his body forward as we kissed, and I felt it against me for the first time away from my hands; just the tip, poking into my stomach.

I pulled myself away from the kiss with my body screaming at me in two directions, and locked both my hands around the back of Big Mac’s head.

“Please,” I said, pressing my face against his and rubbing our cheeks together. “Put it in.”

Big Mac nuzzled back against me and nodded. I hadn’t expected him to be such a gentleman, but I could feel my heart pounding furiously in my chest as he pulled away, including the tip of him pressed up against my stomach. I was getting more romance than wild, animal lust, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about the difference.

I was soaking wet regardless, so I suppose the details were mostly irrelevant.

I felt him again, this time against the inside of my legs. I spread myself to give him room, and the flared tip of his cock slid up between my thighs to rest pointedly just above my entrance. I felt a tiny shudder along my spine as the head of his cock nudged my clit before moving back down, pressing against my lips, dripping with my own arousal.

He wasn’t even in, and already I felt like my skin had touched electric wire.

“Please,” I murmured again. Big Mac slid the tip of his cock up and down my entrance once or twice, coating it in slick, natural lubricant. Finally content with his level of wetness, he placed himself properly and, with a slowness that made me bite down on my tongue to keep from screaming, slid forward.

The first inch was amazing. The difference in size was noticeable even without the whole thing inside. I could feel the extra girth after a few seconds of consideration – and even though it was only the first inch of many, I could feel the extra size waiting as well, something in the way Mac’s shaft stayed aligned as it slid inside.

I started clenching involuntarily on Big Mac’s head, and saw him grit as teeth as he slid further forward.

The whole process was one long motion. I tried not to think about how many inches it must be as Big Mac moved further and further inside me.

I felt full before he was all the way inside, and reached my hand up to signal stop, patting him on his chest just above his foreleg. He looked down at me with concern in his eyes, and I simply motioned to show him that was enough, unable to speak.

The concern in his eyes was awash in a sea of desire, and I could tell there was a part of him struggling very hard not to simply start pounding away at the sexy, feminine body underneath him.

I wouldn’t have objected. For the first time since I could recall having sex, I finally felt like I was enjoying myself. No guy I’d ever met could have compared to Big Macintosh, and the feeling of him being stuffed inside me was one without compare even outside the realm of dating. I felt stretched in the best possible way; not painful at all, but with just the tiniest hint of potential discomfort. Every bit of me felt full, and it was a feeling that consumed every inch of my body and made me shiver with excitement. I was leaking a steady stream of girl-juice onto Big Mac’s shaft, and I knew he could tell, which probably wasn’t helping his whole ‘self-restraint’ idea.

“Move,” I said, not wanting to wait any longer.

Mac nodded, and pulled out before thrusting inside me properly.

The first move of his hips made me gasp. I couldn’t tell if my body was in shock or if I’d almost cum from one thrust.

BIg Mac smiled at me for a second, then continued his thrusting, taking no time at all to build up a rhythm.

The feeling of his cock was amazing. I’d never even dreamed of feeling so full, so full that when he moved my whole body moved with him, and my hips’ attempts to meet his thrusts were washed away by the overwhelming force of his size and strength and huge fucking dick pounding into my hole. I couldn’t look without being overwhelmed by the sense of how fucking good everything felt, so I closed my eyes and let my head roll back, and let out a series of long, constant moans, completely unconcerned with whomever else in the room might hear.

There was someone else in the room though, wasn’t there?

I vaguely remembered there were two stallions waiting on my attention, not just one.

Well, one stallion and one colt, anyway.

I managed to open my eyes through Big Mac’s thrusting, and looked to the side. Sure enough, Snails was standing there on all fours, waiting patiently for me to pay him some attention. I did feel bad, but any momentary guilt was drowned completely by the feeling of being so full and satisfied from the giant dick pounding into me over and over again.

“S-snails,” I said, attempting to speak coherently through the size of the rod slamming into me every second. Big Mac’s thrusts jostled me with their force which made my words shaky and breathless. “W-why don’t you, c-come over here, and, a-and let me pay s-some attention to y-ou...” I reached my hand out lamely into the air, knowing full well Snails was too far away, but hoping that he’d listen despite the broken up delivery of my request.

His expression didn’t change, but he bounced over to my side and poised his body above my chest, letting his almost comically huge dick hang down. It was big enough to reach my mouth and then some just from standing over top of me.

That would have to do.

I knew there was no way I’d be able to choke on his cock the same way Cheerilee had done, so I tried to do my best to give a different kind of attention, licking up and down the shaft and head and taking sections between my lips every once in awhile. Moving my mouth with any amount of articulation was difficult while being pounded, so after a while I settled for licking whatever part of Snails’ cock I could get in my mouth and stroking the farthest part of his shaft with my hands, which also jerked back and forth with the rest of my body.

The faint musk of Snails’ cum and the taste of his cock were what pushed me over the edge. My body had been sending me signals since the first thrust that I wasn’t going to hold out long, being so full and properly fucked for the first time in my life, but sucking on Snails’ giant dong while Big Mac rutted me like a mare in heat was all my brain could take in before it sent electricity to the rest of my body, overwhelming every inch of my skin with pleasure signals. My back arched, which meant Big Mac pressed up even further inside me. I thought I could feel him against my cervix, but I didn’t care. Not once in years had I cum without touching my clit, but I came then, hard, unbelievably hard, screaming and thrashing against Big Mac’s cock and grinding my fingernails so hard into the carpet I was sure I must be leaving marks. I could feel how wet I was around Big Mac’s shaft, how hard I was clenching it, my pussy spasming again and again, Big Mac not pausing the movement of his hips even once as I rode out my orgasm.

My whole body felt like a flattened paper bag as the last trace of my climax left. Big Mac noticed my sudden lethargy and stopped his thrusting, looking at me with amused concern as I panted and pressed a hand against my chest. Snails’ cock hung forgotten next to my face, dripping with a healthy coating of my spit from repeated tonguings.

I wanted nothing more than to lie here and let Big Mac fuck me until I couldn’t say my own name anymore, but it was fairly obvious that given the current arrangement, something different would have to be done to accommodate the other participant. As things were, there was no way I’d be able to take Snails’ dick in any hole, let alone while every bit of my focus was on how good Big Mac’s cock felt inside me. So, with that in mind, it might be best for everyone if Cheerilee and I switched up partners, as much as she might have enjoyed easing Caramel into his first time.

“Cheerilee, do you think we could–”

“Mmmnh!” Cheerilee cut me off with a particular loud moan which blurred into several smaller ones. It occurred to me that I’d been so wrapped up in my own goings on that I hadn’t paid any attention to how things were going on her side of the room; from the sound of it, particularly well at the moment. I hazarded a glance in her direction and was not disappointed.

Cheerilee had gotten Caramel onto his back in more or less the same position I was in and was riding him like a first year sorority girl who’d practice cowgirl like a sport. Cheerilee’s awesome, squeezable butt was bouncing up and down on Caramel’s dick, and her tail was swishing back and forth as she moved, waving in the air and giving once-in-a-while views of her ass and tight-looking pussy squeezing around Caramel’s shaft.

Apparently I’d caught her in the middle of a particularly loud set of moans that were only growing louder. Her eyes were shut as she rocked her hips back and forth like a porn star, bouncing her butt up and down until, as I watched, she slammed down suddenly and became mute. She pressed her hooves against Caramel’s shoulders, and, to my amazement, shivered and sprayed a small bit of clear liquid from her pussy onto Caramel’s crotch and stomach. She came for a few seconds, and her legs shook as she untensed her muscles, lowering herself all the way onto Caramel’s cock and resting there for a moment, panting and taking long, heavy breaths next to Caramel’s ear.

I couldn’t see Caramel’s face, but I had a pretty good idea of what it must look like. Probably the same as mine, or the same as anyone’s might have after seeing Cheerilee’s butt-bouncing lead her to a silent, squirting orgasm.

“Cheerilee,” I tried again, still well aware of Big Mac’s cock inside me and Snails’ shaft dangling near my face and waiting for attention. “Sorry to interrupt, but do you think we could trade off for a bit? I have something in mind, but Snails is too big for me...” I looked up at Snails apologetically. He smiled at me with dopey, empty eyes, as though he didn’t even know whether or not he was supposed to be offended.

Cheerilee took a long breath as she slid herself off of Caramel, her pussy visibly quivering as her lips slipped over the head of his cock. She took a few panted breaths for a second before turning to me, standing over top of an awkward looking Caramel, dripping a few extra remnants of her orgasm onto his shaft.

“Of course,” she said, sounding as though she’d just finished a triathalon.

It should have been obvious that no force in the world would have stopped her from getting more time with Snails.

Fullness and Finishing (Sex also goes here)

Cheerilee helped Caramel off the floor with as much tenderness as she could manage, her body still shaking as she came down from her orgasm. Caramel lumbered over towards Big Mac and myself in a daze, pausing when he reached the coffee table in between, and then slowly walking around it with his hoof on the wood for guidance. He walked until his hoof bumped into my shoulder, upon which he stopped and eyed the ground awkwardly.

So how was this going to work?

I pondered the question as I watched Cheerilee and Snails out of the corner of my eye. I felt a tingle in my clit as Cheerilee leaned up against a nearby wall with her forelegs raised for balance and arched her back, shaking her butt and waving her tail at Snails as she presented herself.

Well, Caramel was a lot smaller than Snails, so that would make pretty much anything easier. It did, however, make the current position impossible, as only someone of Snails’ size could stand over me like that and have their dick within comfortable reach. I could try to ride Big Mac and focus on Caramel at the same time with my mouth or hand, but something told me being in control of my movement and depth on top of Big Mac’s cock would only make me focus on that more, and pretty soon I’d be riding my way to another orgasm while ignoring Caramel.

And, no part of me was willing to give up the full feeling of Big Mac being inside me. So, what would work?

I remembered Mandy, suddenly. Our third or fourth time ‘together’, she’d gone scouring through my dresser drawers in search of something embarrassing and had giggled like mad when she’d found what she was looking for; an incriminating container full of special toys that I’d only been able to shrug at when she pulled them out. A girl has needs, and I’ve said before how the guys I was finding weren’t up to snuff.

She had toys too, she’d said.

And that’s what had lead to the first night I’d ever been full in both holes. I’d played around a bit with things going... back there... but given my taste in size, the prospect of having one of my normal toys back anywhere without a sufficient lead-up or practice was a little worrying. I’d always thought the idea of anal was kind of hot, which may or may not have had anything to do with how big my butt was, and how a decent selection of guys always said it was my best feature. I knew those ones were lying though; anyone with eyes could see my tits were my best feature.

But, that night had gone well enough, and I’d cum with my face in my pillow, trying not to bother my neighbours with how loud I was being as Mandy drilled my ass and pussy with the plastic implements she’d brought from home.

That had only taken a couple glasses of wine and some lube to work up to, and tonight, I already had the wine taken care of.

“Big Mac,” I said, running my hand down his foreleg and stroking my fingertips through his red fur, “do you think you can lie down for a minute? I have an idea about how to do this, but I’m not sure if it will work.”

Big Mac nodded and, like a perfect gentleman, pulled out without protest. I imagined that getting to shoot his first load early all over my tits had probably helped him keep his cool, even being buried inside an exotic human girl’s pussy, an idea which he seemed pretty excited for in the first place.

I almost begged him back in as I felt his big, flared head pop out, but I forced myself to stay silent as I stood up, knowing that given enough excuses I’d be letting Big Mac fuck me until we both passed out from exhaustion.

As per my directions, Big Mac laid down awkwardly on the floor and took up the same position I had been in. Ponies look naturally odd on their backs like that anyway, but Big Mac’s giant pole swinging back and forth between his spread hind legs didn’t help matters. Luckily, I wasn’t in any position to laugh, what with other things on my mind and all.

“I’m not sure I can do this, but it’s worth a shot,” I said, walking to Big Mac’s new spot on the floor and positioning myself above his cock. Even the proximity of his head to my entrance made my legs shake, but I went on without falling completely. I took his shaft in my hands and pointed it at my hole, then slowly lowered myself down, groaning as I felt Mac’s head slide past my lips and properly inside me. I managed to get about halfway down his shaft before I felt any more would have me shaking and unable to move.

As I steadied myself with Big Mac’s cock inside me, I tried my best to lean forward and present my butt in Caramel’s general direction.

“You can have my other hole, okay Caramel?”

I wasn’t turned around to see his reaction, but I had a good idea of what it was.

Ideally I would have conjured a bottle of lubricant, but given the circumstance, there was no such thing to be found. Luckily I’d been leaking so steadily since the beginning of the night that my entire lower half was coated in my own juice, which hopefully meant that Caramel would have an easy enough time sliding inside my butt, helped along by his fuck-session with cheerilee and my earlier blowjob. If not... well, I’d have to figure something else out.

I heard Caramel walk up behind me and try to find a position best to enter in. Given my body being in the way of his chest, he was forced to stand half-way upright. Ponies in Equestria did stand on their hind legs sometimes, but it was fairly unusual or inconsistent, and was avoided as a rule. Caramel seemed to manage okay, though I could feel him shake a bit as he placed a hoof on my shoulder and brought his body closer.

I could feel his hardness poking into my back, and I tried to take slow breaths and remind myself not to clench up. I reached one of my hands behind my back and felt for Caramel’s shaft, eventually getting a hold of it after a few seconds of fumbling. With my teeth clenched I guided him downward, sliding his head over my buttcheeks and arching my back forward as I did so, presenting myself as best I could for him to enter. Leaning forward meant Caramel could do the same, and in the same awkward motion we both effectively fell forward, me resting my weight on Big Mac’s chest with one outstretched arm and Caramel hovering over top of me as I tried desperately not to impale myself on the rest of Big Mac’s cock. I had to let go of Caramel as I leaned, but he found his way just the same now that he was in a more comfortable position. I could feel him poke against my back door for a minute before his head got its place properly, and nestled right against my tightest entrance.

I wasn’t sure if mares in Equestria did anal – but even if they did, I was sure Caramel wasn’t used to it.

“Go slow,” I said, and pressed my butt back a little bit to help guide him in.

I felt slick enough. Caramel placed his hooves on my back for leverage as he moved. I gasped as I felt the first bit of his head pop in. My body shivered in response, and I felt a tingle in my clit as he slid forward more, getting in a few inches.

It didn’t feel as comfortable as my pussy, but the sensation was unique, and inarguably a compliment to Big Mac’s shaft buried inside my other hole. I already felt full – but, as Caramel slid further forward until I was sure at least seven inches of him was inside me, I felt full.

I wasn’t sure how much more there was until Caramel’s hips pressed against my ass. I was surprised, honestly; I hadn’t expected to be able to take him all the way inside. The distraction of Big Mac’s cock elsewhere probably helped a fair bit.

Now to attempt the treacherous task of moving.

“You guys w-will have to do most of the work,” I said, stuttering a bit as my body shuddered and begged me to collapse onto either of the two dicks working me into a frenzy. I shut my eyes, so I couldn’t be sure if either stallion had noticed my request until I felt them move. Big Mac rocked his hips up and down as best he could manage, and I raised my hips a little bit to give him more room to slip inside. Caramel did the same, though his movements were a good deal more awkward than his cousin’s. His thrusts were slower too, which was just as well, as every inch of movement inside my ass sent a new series of twitches along my skin. Again, I felt like I was going to cum after not too much more, stuffed completely in both holes. My brain felt like it was melting, like it was burning up in a fever of pleasure.

“Ohh, fuck,” I moaned as I felt Caramel bury himself particularly hard in my ass. I hadn’t put much thought into reconsidering anal – but, if tonight was any indication, it was a thing worth revisiting.

“Fuck... you guys feel so good, you’re gonna make me cum again,” I said, filled with a sudden need to vocalize my enjoyment. Maybe because of the way I’d seen Big Mac reacted when I had asked him to cum, or because if I held on to the words brimming in my brain I felt like I’d go insane.

If either pony acknowledged my potentially early warning, I couldn’t tell immediately. My eyes were swimming around in the back of my head, lost in a sea of all-consuming ecstasy. I don’t normally use flowery words like ‘ecstasy’ when I think about getting fucked, or in this case filled up by two giant dicks, but there’s really no better word for the way my brain shut off and let me feel like I was floating on a cloud of pleasure that enveloped my entire body.

A grunt or two did manage to eke their way in through the haze of my delirious enjoyment, however, with the gruffest and most noticeable one coming from below me. I opened my eyes with some difficulty, struggling to keep them parted lest they fall back to the sight of Big Mac’s cock underneath me as I rocked back and forth on top of it and lost my attention to the throes of my ecstatic feeling of fullness.

Big Mac looked like he was undergoing a similar struggle to keep himself in the present, but he managed a sort of grim smirk at me through his teeth clenched in restraint.

“I’m kinda close myself,” he said through grunts accompanying his hip thrusts. I wasn’t surprised; he’d gotten me off once already, and the way he’d cum so hard and fast when I’d whispered even the slightest bit of dirty talk towards him was enough evidence that his self control around naked human girls wasn’t as strong as he hoped.

I wasn’t about to stop. I wanted him to cum right where he was, and me along with him.

“Yes,” I said, giving my approval through another moan. I lifted one of my hands off Big Mac’s chest and threw it to my own, grasping desperately at my right breast, and then my left. My nipples felt like they were on fire underneath my palm, tingling with sensitivity that sent jolt after jolt of almost-there pleasure down my body and right between my legs. It was difficult to focus on any one thing; the way Big Mac’s cock spread my lips open so wide as I managed to jostle my hips up and down a few inches on top of his thrusting; the way Caramel’s movement had become jerky and erratic on top of his already uneven pacing; the way my free hand massaging my tits felt like a paw from some unseen accessory to the act of being fucked by two more than capable suitors, making everything feel more forbidden, and exciting, and hot, hot all over. I felt like I was going to burn up, or fall away into nothing before my body finally let me go...

I had to say something.

“I’m cum–”

But Caramel beat me to the punch. I heard his grunt in my ear and felt his forelegs plant for traction at my sides. I’d been trying to keep my mind on the intensity of my own pleasure, so I hadn’t felt Caramel’s extra hardness or the way his breathing had become quickened. Apparently that would have been all the warning I got anyway; he didn’t say a word to let me know before I felt him twitch and fire the first shot of his payload inside my ass. To my surprise, I could feel every drop as it sprayed inside me; it was warm, and wet.

That was enough to push me over.

I didn’t manage to finish my announcement for Big Mac’s sake, but I knew he’d been waiting for me, so there were no surprises. I felt Caramel’s second jet as I scraped my fingers over Big Mac’s chest, raking my nails over his soft, red fur and mouthing wordlessly as my orgasm overtook me. I wanted desperately to tell him I was cumming, that he was making me cum, how good it felt having him inside me, the first anyone I’d ever let inside me that felt big enough for me to enjoy myself as much as I was now – but the words wouldn’t come. My tongue lost every facet of its articulation and flopped uselessly around in my mouth as I thrashed and jerked and squeezed so tight on the perfectly sized, giant, hulking piece of meat inside me, and the more accomdating average sized one buried elsewhere.

I managed to look towards Big Mac for a moment before the lightning coursing across my skin forced my eyes shut. He looked back at me with his deep green eyes, and watched my lips move.

‘Cum for me,’ I mouthed.

The way he jerked underneath me was almost enough to throw me off balance, but the stability of his pole that I was still impaled on kept me in place. Caramel kept his movements fast and emphatic behind me as he finished himself off wedged inside my butt. Mac’s climax came differently; his strokes were slow and measured, and I could feel the shudders running along every inch of his length that he could manage inside me as he came. He pushed up, so far that I thought he might break me in half with his size, pressing up into somewhere so deep I could scarcely believe I wasn’t crying out in pain as a reflex – but if there was pain, it was buried in an all consuming wash of pleasure. My eyes were closed, but I imagined the way Big Mac’s face must be contorting as my pussy milked for every drop of his seed. I’ve never cum so hard in my life, but I felt like if I had focused I could have torn him off inside me with the intensity of my clenching. Instead, I contented myself for savouring the warm, hard texture of his member against my walls and babbling wordlessly as I thrashed on top of him, struggling to hold myself up with only my one arm for balance. My free hand had stopped minutes ago and was frozen in place, tweaking my right nipple between my fingertips. I didn’t want my hand there; I wanted Big Mac. I wanted his big luscious tongue and his mouth and I wanted him to bite me so hard it would leave marks and I’d be reminded of his giant dick inside me every time I looked in the mirror before getting dressed–

The second wave hit me out of left field. I’ve never been a girl prone to multiple orgasms, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything.

“Ahh!” I managed the most coherent verbalization I could come up with as I threw myself forward onto Mac’s chest. Caramel slipped out of my ass as I moved, which just left Big Mac, jerking his hips upwards and firing blast after blast of hot, thick cum inside my pussy. The warmth of it trickling out around his girth (as much as it could manage, given my relative tightness) made my second climax even stronger, and I used both hands on Mac’s chest, touching and pressing down and wanting to pull him further inside me even though I knew I couldn’t take it.

I opened my eyes, and Big Mac stared back at me, wide eyed, as though he was literally blown away by the enthusiasm of my reaction.

I didn’t wait; I kissed him before he could object.

I took proper time to invest myself in the kiss this time. I studied how it felt different, losing myself in the feeling of my climax and letting myself drift away into the warmth of Big Mac’s lips. The architecture of his mouth wasn’t what I’d expected; unlike a real horse, there was no great big snout or freaky jaw-line to maneuver around. It felt almost like kissing a person, except for the awareness of everything that felt just slightly ‘different’. The texture of his lips, here. The way his tongue was so much bigger than mine as I forced it inside his mouth. The way his cheeks felt under my hands as I held him there and kissed him, hard, forcefully, not wanting him to pull away. The last dribble of his cum had long since dripped down his shaft and onto his fur, but I didn’t care. I was still cumming, riding out the remnants of my second orgasm, and I wanted him there, kissing me, until I came back to Earth – or Equestria, in this case, I guess.

I gave him an extra hard, wet, passionate kiss as the last tingle of my climax settled, my clit tender just from the proximity of the best fuck I’d ever received. When I pulled my mouth away, I couldn’t keep the depraved sounding ‘ah’ from leaving my lips, or the long string of saliva that hung between my lips and his.

Big Mac looked at me as I tried my best to sit up with his rapidly deflating cock inside me. To my great delight, his cheeks looked redder than normal. He was blushing.

“Was that... as good for you... as it was for me?” I asked, panting between every few words. It felt like it was going to take a while for me to catch my breath properly.

Mac couldn’t muster up any words. He just nodded at me, and the bashful way he looked like he wanted to avoid my eyes out of modesty made me want to pull off him so I could coax his cock back to hardness with my mouth and get on top of him for a second round.

But, there was still one other pony in the room whom I hadn’t gotten to pay any attention to. Not that I objected to Cheerilee monopolizing him, in any case...

I almost expected Cheerilee to be in a perfectly timed come-down from her own climax as I looked over, but I guess the suckerpunch of my second orgasm had thrown our timing out of alignment; she did have the pleased-all-over post orgasm glow around her when I finally caught sight of her, but she was far busier than I had been after I finished. I would have been hard pressed to stand up for a few minutes after the first jolt shook my body, but Cheerilee was already hard at work, slobbing Snails’ knob like a desperate whore who needed her next month’s rent. There was something so tantalizingly desperate about the way Cheerilee sucked cock; it made me wonder if there were things her mother had taught her that she hadn’t seen fit to mention.

She wasn’t done yet though, and that meant I still had a chance.

I managed to stand up with shaky legs despite my body’s every insistence that I simply roll over and collapse into a pile of post-coital bliss. I couldn’t keep myself up though, as my knees made very clear on their threat to wobble sideways after a few seconds, so I contented myself with crawling across the carpet, still covered from my earlier facial and pearl necklace, and now leaking cum from both holes all over Cheerilee’s delicately upholstered carpet.

Cheerilee didn’t notice me until I gave her a tap on the shoulder, at which point she paused with at least a quarter of Snails’ length still in her mouth and turned her head to me. Her eyes were alight with curiosity but glazed over with the aftermath of her own orgasm – and, one of her cheeks was bulging with the head of Snails’ cock pressed at an angle in her mouth.

“Mhm?” she mumbled at me through her mouthful of dick.

Just the sight made me feel another twinge between my legs.

“Can I help?” I asked. I gestured to the oversized schlong Cheerilee was holding between her hooves and batted my eyelashes at her as seductively as I could manage through a faceful of Caramel’s jizz that had avoided cleanup.

Cheerilee only hesitated for a second before she pulled Snails’ cock out of her mouth with a pop. She held the giant length between her face and mine and proffered it towards me like some kind of profane offering for my consumption.

“Of course,” she said, and smiled at me.

Snails was seated on one of the footrests that was normally littered all throughout the living room, which meant his cock was at an angle for ingestion I was fairly familiar with. The size wasn’t something I was used to though; normally, if I plunked a guy down on my couch with his pants off, I could bury my whole face in his lap and suck him off with minimal visibility and spillage after the fact. Snails’ cock stuck out like a plastic toy-sword wedged between the footstool cushions and movable wheels, and the prospect of fitting even half of it in my mouth seemed daunting. Cheerilee had managed to a good job gagging herself on it, making that ‘hwulk hwulk’ sound like a bad porn star in a Brazzers video, but I didn’t feel up to the task; I’ve always been more interested in slow, sensual blowjobs than choking on some guys dick. Not that any of the ones I’d happened upon previously had been big enough for that anyway.

Maybe we could meet in the middle.

I took Snails’ dick with one hand on the middle of his shaft and moved his head towards my mouth. Even at full length he felt a little floppy, which I imagined was a result of having something so big requesting enough blood flow to stay rock hard. Maybe the reason he was so slow all the time was because his brain went wanting as his dick took the rest of what his body had available.

At least unlike my previous awkward attempts to fit his dick in my mouth, this time I had maneuverability on my side. I took the whole of his head and first few inches between my lips and licked with my tongue, caressing the sensitive underside of his shaft and slurping up the coat of precum that was leaking steadily from his tip. I licked for a minute or two before pulling my head back, leaving the part of Snails’ dick I could fit inside my mouth coated with a healthy later of my spit. I looked towards Cheerilee and held the giant unit between us, pushing it towards her with an imploring look in my eyes.

Cheerilee took the hint without further prodding and lowered her mouth to the head of Snails’ cock with a wink in my direction. She took up a similar to approach to the one I’d just given, but with even more care and particular attention to the sensuality of her movement. She didn’t take Snails’ head into her mouth, but lathered her tongue over his skin almost like she was bathing him. Her tongue was much bigger than mine, which meant longer, more encompassing laps over Snails’ shaft. She licked almost all the way down to the base, restricted by only the length of her own body, before coming back up, lingering over every inch until she reached the tip again. She shifted her head a bit until she was on the far side of Snails’ shaft, and batted her eyes at me over his sizable girth.

She didn’t start moving until I lowered my own head as well, planting my lips on Snails’ cock with only the width of his member separating us. In tandem, the two of us slid our tongues along either side of the hard dick between us, leaving trails of wetness until we met just near the base of Snails’ cock. It only took us a moment’s pause before we raised our heads together and kissed, so lightly a scream for more died in the back of my throat before our lips broke apart, and we went back in the other direction, meeting again at the top of Snails’ shaft.

We were treated to one spastic jerk of the rod underneath our mouths before Snails grunted and braced his hooves against the carpet.

Cheerilee was quick enough to take that as warning, and I followed suit, meeting at the head of Snails’ cock as the first spurt of cum spewed out. If Snails had been overloaded by the sudden sight of two sexy, sweaty girls paying attention to his dick, it was apparent in the volume of his load; the first spray hit both me and Cheerilee right in the face with a velocity I don’t think either of us had been expecting. It was like a whole glassful of sticky white liquid. I opened my mouth absentmindedly to let a bit of drip onto my tongue but had no sooner tasted the first trickle when another shot came, and then another. Cheerilee and I sat there like good girls, taking as much as Snails could give us, emptying himself onto our faces until we were both coated in his jizz. Finally spent, he gave one final, childish sounding groan and untensed his muscles, settling into his makeshift seating place as his body came down from its bone-shaking climax.

Cheerilee and I were both panting. I turned to her, struggling to see through the few facefuls of cum dripping down over my eyes and nose. She looked in a similar state, but she cleaned up a decent portion of her mask with a quick once around of her tongue, reaching farther up her cheek than I’d imagined was possible. She managed to look at me through her own eye-clouding drip of semen and smiled at me despite her facial.

“My goodness,” she said, placing one of her hooves on my knee. I felt a twitch run along my skin as her soft, vaguely sticky caress met my skin. “You look like quite a mess, Samantha.”

I felt timid, suddenly, as though Cheerilee’s motherly tone was reason enough to keep quiet with no further justification. Instead of firing a boisterous response back, I simply nodded, and muttered a one word reply.

“Yes...”

“We need to do something to get you cleaned up.”

I didn’t have time to brace myself before Cheerilee’s hoof was on my shoulder, and suddenly I was on the carpet, facing up at the ceiling. I took a moment to breathe before fuchsia fur eclipsed my view, and Cheerilee’s bubblegum pink mane besides.

She grinned and me and extended her tongue.

I managed to close my eyes as she dove in and I felt the first soft tingle of her tongue on my cheek. I was a bit aghast as just how much cum she managed to lap up in one go, but it only took a few slurps before my face was almost completely clean, Cheerilee ferrying away most of Snails’ payload after several licks. She gave me a warm half-smile with her mouth closed, and I returned it before she dived in again, this time aiming her mouth at mine.

The moment her lips parted I felt the slickness of white, creamy goo on my tongue.

Cheerilee kissed me the same way she had kissed me before, making me writhe and pant and thrash desperately for more – but this time her kiss was accompanied by the transfer of all the cum she had gathered up, dripping it sensuously into my mouth. It felt like a gallon jug of sticky cream being emptied onto my tongue, but I didn’t protest even a little bit. I gulped every bit that she dolloped over, drinking the whole of the deposit that had been on my face moments before. The tide of jizz eventually subsided, and Cheerilee capped it off with a kiss so strong I could feel my heart flutter in my chest.

I felt Cheerilee’s tongue there a few seconds after. She hadn’t even given me time to catch my breath before her mouth inched down past my neck and between my breasts. Her kissing continued there, and I kept my same frantic breathing pace, finding room for my fingernails in the carpet beside me and my hips moving of their own accord against some intangible stimuli that I wanted more of. Cheerilee wasn’t as gentle as Big Mac; she started with kisses, giving the occasional prod of her tongue, but progressed quickly to more emphatic attention. First a little nip of her teeth that almost made me jump, then both her lips around my right nipple, and then my left, sucking and squeezing and sending electric shocks right down to my clit, and then biting, oh god, biting, her teeth felt so good and I couldn’t keep myself quiet–

“Ohhh, fffuck...” was the most coherent thing I could manage as I felt Cheerilee’s teeth clench on my skin, and press down until I was sure she must be leaving a mark, and it hurt, but it hurt so good and I couldn’t stop moving my hips, god damn was she good at this–

And then her mouth left as quickly as it had come, turning from teeth into just her tongue, slipping all the way across my stomach, tickling over my belly button and then at my waist, and doing a little back and forth on either side of my thighs and then just right above and please please please just a little bit lower yes there–

“Ohhhhh!” I couldn’t think of words to add, so I just moaned. I fought to keep myself from wrapping my legs around Cheerilee’s neck and instead settled for pressing them down onto the carpet, my entire body shaking upwards as Cheerilee’s tongue ran over my clit. Being full was one thing, but this was something else that I’d missed, missed so badly, and now Cheerilee was doing it and she felt a million times better than anything I could have dreamed about or done for myself alone at home. Her tongue was the perfect size, I could feel the tip of it just over the top half of my lips and the rest encompassing my clit perfectly, so warm and just stiff enough as she bobbed her head back and forth. She lowered her mouth every now and then and licked playfully at the rest of my pussy, and I could tell she was lapping up the deposit of Big Mac’s cum that was still leaking out of me, and that just made it hotter. I could feel the extra wetness of her tongue when she came back up and circled my clit again, and when she nudged her head forward and I could feel her hair against my leg and hear the cute little noises she was making, like little ‘mphs’ muffled by my sex. I was already close, I’d been close when she started kissing me, I could have cum then if she’d asked me to, but I was so glad I’d held out. I wanted to hold out longer, to make things last, but I couldn’t, not with her tongue doing that and her soft little moans and the tiny glimpse through my barely parted eyes of her flicking her tail just like that...

In keeping with the theme of the night, I didn’t manage to give her a warning, but I knew she could tell. She redoubled her attention to my clit, and I came, so hard, and I did lock my legs around the back of her head and pulled her even closer still. I hoped in the back of my head that she could still breathe okay, but she didn’t slow down a bit, so I came, good god I came, so hard Cheerilee’s face must surely be soaked, and the both of us would need so many showers, not to mention her poor carpet.

Cheerilee gave me a tap on the thigh after a little while which I assumed must mean my leg-lock was too tight. I let the final shudder of my orgasm dart through my skin and unclenched my legs, letting Cheerilee go and collapsing completely into the carpet. As rough and wet as it might have been from the assortment of fluids leaking onto it, it felt like a waterbed of relaxation at that moment, warm and welcoming and the perfect respite from complete sexual exhaustion.

Cheerilee followed suit shortly after I let her go. She was panting loudly, and I saw a tiny splotch of white on the tip of her nose before she fell towards me, landing on her side. Her breathing was so forceful in my ear it made me worry that I’d hurt her somehow, but she reassured me without speaking by placing her hoof on my stomach and tracing it around in a little circle. It tickled a bit, but I was too tired to giggle. I placed my hand on her hoof and held it still, squeezing a ‘thanks’ with my fingers.

As I closed my eyes, I became acutely aware of the other sounds in the room, three more bodies breathing and the settling of post-coital euphoria. I was spent, having cum more in a few hours than I ever had with any number of dates, and certainly more satisfyingly than I’d ever managed by hand or with the help of a toy.

It was late, and I was still a bit drunk, thoroughly exhausted, and full of hot, sticky cum, as well as still covered in a decent amount of it.

If that was any indication, it seemed to be the case that Sunday evening book-club meetings were going to get a lot more interesting in the weeks to come...

But that’s a story for another day.