Out of Control

You wake up. A slight pain...everywhere, but it could be worse. You hear beeping sounds, has to be one of these things to monitor heartbeats, what where they called, ECG? You try to shift a little, but your movement is stopped. Arms and legs are cuffed to the bed, but you don't really care, it's warm and cozy under your blanket.
”Hey, wake up.”
You know that voice, it's that Twilight pony, what little memories you have come back. The dark tower. Being chased, no, hunted. Beaten up by an angry Rainbow pony. Being minced by a Griffon creature. That ominous human who controlled time or something like that, he must have been a hallucination, getting beaten to within an inch of your life does funny things to your brain. And dieing. Getting revived by Twilight. Twilight then berating those violent ponies into submission, man, she must be a hell of an leader.
...
You want to forget it, it was so painful and they were all so angry...at you. But that's over, right?
“Is it over?” your voice asks weakly
”Yes it's over, you're safe now.”
Argh, you forgot Twilight!
”Does it hurt? Should I call the Nurse?” she asks.
It hurts, but you need no nurse. Maybe you should risk it and take a peek? Okay, what do you have to lose? You open your eyes, Twilight is staring at you with curiosity and a gentle grin. You are most happy that you are not in that depressing tower thing anymore, it looks like you are in a hospital. You are bandaged all over, should you ask her where you are? Your savior? That's right, she saved your ass in more than one way, more than once, the least you can do is show some gratitude!
“Thank you”
”You're welcome, I believe you have a lot of questions. I will answer them in due time, but not now. You need to rest.”
For all you know she's right, just being awake makes you tired.
“I... I can't rember-” you want to ask what happened, but she cuts you short.
”That's alright. I found an interface from which I could access your mind, and so I removed some... bad stuff.” she puts on an innocent smile.
“You mean... you deleted my memories? Why would you do that?”
She must have had reasons, you are too grateful to get angry at her.
”Please don't jump to conclusions and listen, I know what it sounds like at first! Let me explain. You did some awful things to us, I mean me and my friends, but those actions were planted inside your head by someone else beforehand. So I simply removed those memories that made you do those ill things.” she says that like it's routine for her.
“What do you mean, planted inside my mind? I-Is that even possible?” what is she talking about?
”We can talk about details later, just let me give you a quick rundown, okay?” she is probably right, better listen to her.
”Sooo, where was I, oh yeah! When I was done removing those memories, I took a little look around.” She looks a little embarrassed, wait, she probed your mind?! She must know something about you!
“So you know all my preferences and dark secrets?”
Twilight clears her throat and continues ”Well, that was what I expected too, buuuut...”
Oh no “But? I hope that's a good 'but'.”
She chuckles at that, but keeps her worried look. Wait, did she just laugh at an awful bad, dirty, unintended joke? Things must be serious...
”Well, I was taking a look around, looking for some...uh...answers...but there was nothing!”
“Nothing?” you ask unbelieving
”Yes, you were a blank slate, empty. If I had to guess I would assume that, whoever gave you those evil intentions, also deleted all of your memories. Like you were just born! No! Even less!” she lets out a long sigh ”But you are free now, you can go back home and... oh, well, we can figure that out later. Maybe you should first get cured and then we'll see, okay?”
That didn't shock you half as much as it should. Well, it could be worse, you could be in jail or, wait...
“Twilight, what are these cuffs for? It's not like I'm gonna run away as soon as I get the chance.”
”Just safety precautions. Don't worry, Nurse Redheart will take care of that in a moment. I mean, you WERE quite dangerous back then. But I got to go, I still need to write a letter to the princess, tell my friends that I was right about you all along, and then...” she looks upwards and exhales audibly “Oooohh, so much to do...I'll come by tomorrow maybe, get some rest, bye.”
She leaves the room quickly while shouting ”SPIIIIIIIKE!” Sounds like you are not the only one with problems, whoever that Spike is, he has your sympathy. But now you need some sleep, all that talking was more exhausting than it should. You drift into a dreamless slumber right away.
...
You were cruel
...
You wake up, still cuffed, bathed in sweat. After the sun rose completely, a pony enters your room. A pony with a white coat and she wears her light pink mane in a bun. She wears a nurse's hat and has a tattoo on her flank, a red cross with a pink heart in each corner. You faintly remember Twilight's ass also sporting some kind of a tattoo. Maybe it's a trend here. Her bright blue eyes fixate on you. She smiles. Oh god, she looks like an angel. Your heart aches, you want to hug and cuddle with her.
Stop it, you are too manly for stuff like that!
”Good morning, I'm Nurse Redheart, how are you?” she asks while eyeing you from tip to toe. Oh damn, now she stands directly besides you, she is so cute! What are you thinking! That is a PONY alright, she's not even the same species!
You just stare at her while you fight with your feelings. Your heartache becomes worse as your heartbeat accelerates. The heart monitoring device beeps faster and faster. Damn, she is killing you with her cuteness! You attempt to hold your heart, but the cuffs hinder you.
”Are you in pain? Please say something!” her voice is full of worry.
Just look away! Look at... THE BLANKET! Hope that helps!
”Please calm down! You have to calm down!” she leans over you and pushes you down by the shoulders. Oh god, she worries about you! You feel your cheeks redden as blood shoots to your head. You close your eyes and try to breath steadily, eventually your heart calms down.
”I knew it was too early for you!” she says in a worrisome tone ”Let me get these cuffs off of you, stay awake!” why does she has to be so adorable?! She is even cute while she removes the cuffs. Then it starts again, you grab your chest with a hand as you close your eyes and try to stay calm.
”Don't faint on me, you hear me?” her blue eyes, the cute hat. Oh god, it is, coming... you... need... control... yourself...she stands right next to you again.
Fuck it!
You quickly sit up right, ignore the pain in your chest and
”Eeeep!” she squeaks a little as you hug her, taking her by surprise. After a short moment of confusion she returns the hug. You scratch her a little behind her ear and you are rewarded with a cute sigh. Oh god, what are you doing?! You are creeping her out! And you stink and what if she gets angry! Oh no! NONONONO! You realize it! It's far too late! You can't do anything about it anymore! You want to deny it! YOU HAVE A CRUSH! Maybe if you...maybe if...if you...she...what next?! Think faster!
The heartbeat monitor kicks up again, this time faster than before. Nurse Redheart pushes you gently down and looks at the heart beat monitor.
“S-Sorry I just-” Redheart interrupts your apology
”Shhh. It's okay. Relax now.” She checks your drip and stays with you until you have calmed down again.
She chuckles ”What was that about? Twilight told me she talked to you yesterday for a bit without incident. I wanted to check up on you then, but you were already asleep so...”
“I'm sorry I just...” you don't know what to say, you want to apologize even more
”Anyway, if you are feeling better, I need to make some tests. Twilight gave you a direct magical heart massage and that usually does more damage than it is worth. Just need to make sure that you are going to be alright.” She smiles. You forget the pain and smile back at her sheepishly. By now you must be red as a tomato from blushing.
”You look red, are you feeling fine? Do you have a fever?” she holds her forehead against yours. That is not a medically correct way of taking ones temperature! But she is so close, you'd just have to tilt your head, a tiny little bit, and you could kiss her. Blood starts to gather in your loins. Her eyes are beautiful and she is much warmer than you are. Your heartbeat starts acting up again and the pain comes back a little. She moves back and raises an eyebrow while looking at your ECG.
She looks at you.
She looks back at your ECG.
She looks back to you again.
”You have a very low temperature, are you sure you are feeling fine? Patients with hypothermia are usually pale, but you are bright red” you love it when she is talking dirty, err, you mean “Hypo-what?” You try to look as innocent as possible, but can only muster a bad pokerface. Don't let her get it, please, don't let her figure you out!
”It means that your body temperature is too low, but you had this low temperature all the time and...maybe it's normal for your species...or maybe...” she stares at you while rubbing her chin. Is she suspecting? Oh please no, you couldn't handle that! Thinking of her identifying the reason of these fishy happenings...what would she do? What COULD she do?
”Hmm, weird” she mumbles. ”It's probably nothing noteworthy.” she says with a grin.
You're a smooth criminal anon, a real master of disguise, that was close!
”I'm going to consult Nurse Sweetheart about this, I'll be right back, and then you are going to get a nice sponge bath!” she takes on a sultry look and whispers ”You need it.” she winks at you and trots out of the room. You catch yourself staring at her ass, or rather at her tail.
...
What a pony...that's right a pony! You didn't see any other humans around. Maybe you see them later, for now you indulge in 'what if' fantasies about your favorite nurse.
You scratch your ear, damn hot! Your ear is really warm, that's it. Touching your ears you realize just how much you were blushing, no wonder she thought you had a fever! Your ears must glow in the dark right now! You look outside the window as time goes by, finally your most favorite Nurse on the planet returns with a smile.
”She said it's probably just stress...and she giggled all the time, she can be such a jerk sometimes.” Oh no, Nurse Sweetheart, she didn't...ECG speeds up.
”Okay, just tell me when it starts to hurt okay? Don't overexert yourself. Can you get up? Time for your bath.” she says smiling. If she is going to do what you think, you will be caught red handed. Damn, just try to think about something else!
As you sit up on the bed you realize that you are naked under the blanket
”Is something wrong?” Redheart asks as she catches your uneasiness...she is naked as well...
...
You wrap the blanket around your waist like a towel, effectively eliminating the aspect of being naked and hiding your erection perfectly “I'm not comfortable with being naked, I'm sorry”
Redheart looks puzzled ”Why is that?”
Good question, why?
“Well, I, you know...it's...complicated” you don't even know that yourself.
”Is that so? Is every one of your species like that?”
“I actually don't know, I lost my memory.”
She holds a hoof over her mouth ”Ooops, sorry, Twilight told me all about it, I can be a klutz sometimes, sorry. Come, I'll lead you to the bathroom.”
She takes care of the drip and the ECG and you make your way to the bathroom. After fruitlessly assuring her that you can bath alone, you take a bubble bath. Thank the deity of this land for bubbles. Luckily, every time your heartbeat accelerates because of Nurse Redheart doing something cute, the consequential pain suppresses your boner, and even if you get a hard-on the bubbles hide everything. Everything she does is cute, damn! Why do you have to like her so much?! Damn hormones. Can you even get a crush on a pony naturally? Twilight must have done something to your mind! That's it! Bet she made you feel attracted to ponies! That's it! Mystery solved! No further questions allowed! If it's like that, there is no problem with you liking ponies! After all it's not your fault then, right?
After successfully cleaning yourself and avoiding getting caught with an erection, you make yourself comfortable again in your bed with fresh sheets and all. The ECG gets attached to your chest and you get a nice fruity breakfast. Just as you finish eating, Nurse Redheart comes in, perfect timing!
“Nurse Redheart, I have a question about my injuries.”
A smug grin forms on her face ”I already wondered when you were going to ask.”
You continue “Nurse, last thing I remember I couldn't even stay conscious for more than a few seconds because of my injuries-”
She holds a hoof up, gesturing you to stop ”You need to speak no further, I know exactly what you mean. When you got here you had a lot of fatal injuries. Worst of all was a contusion on your heart muscle.”
“How many injuries did I have? You make it sound like a lot...”
“Yeah uuh, let me just take a look at your patient file, that was quite a lot.” She trots to the end of your bed and takes a look at the clipboard that hangs there. ”You had...a bruised heart muscle, your sternum body had a comminuted fracture, I'll skip the single names but you had 8 broken ribs, a consequential traumatic pneumothorax-”
You interrupt her “What does that mean?”
”One of your ribs punctured your lung and you couldn't breath properly.”
“Ooh, okay.” ouch. You take a look at your chest, Nurse Redheart bandaged you up after your bath again.
Redheart continues to read ”Eeeehm, your middle and index fingers were broken, so was your jaw in three places, your left cheek bone had a comminuted fracture as well, your nose was broken and your left clavicle had a hair fracture. You had also major cuts on your torso and upper arms and your right leg had major lacerations.”

She puts the clipboard away satisfied and comes back to the head of the bed. Putting on a worried face she asks ”What did you do? Did you have a brawl with a dozen manticores or a full grown dragon?” then she leans in on you, examining your many healed injuries and looking for an answer written on you.
”I did some bad things apparently...and after I lost my memories it came back to bite me in the ass. I don't want to talk about it too much if you don't mind.”
”Don't worry, I won't pry if you don't want to talk about it.” such a sweetheart.
But your initial question is still unanswered “What about my injuries? Why are they in such a good condition, I doubt they healed overnight.”
”Oh yes, I almost forgot, sorry. Okay, it is normal procedure here to put somepony into an induced coma if they have a serious heart injury. Its to keep the heart calm, if you had woken up the next day, the pain from your several injuries would have increased your heart rate and in combination with a heart condition it could lead to death!. Wearealsonotsurehowmuchmoredamagethatheartmassagedidtoyouthatswhattheupcomingtestsarefortomakesureeverythingisinorder!” After saying the last part without breathing she has to catch her breath, but she seems happy to share her medical knowledge with you. Her breath smells fruity. Only now you realize how close she is to your face, she stands half in your bed actually. Maybe you can...
She looks at you with a smug grin and wide eyes, still proud of her medical knowledge. You take off her Nurse's hat, but she keeps looking at you. You reach to her head and gently scratch her ear, she closes her eyes and lets out a cute sigh. She likes it, no question. You caress her mane and she leans in a little. You fondle her neck below her ear, a little blush spreads on her face. She really likes it.
For the next few minutes you switch between petting, ear scratching and caressing along her neck and she totally digs it. She is so damn cute! You want to kiss her and lean in a little. Then you hesitate, not sure about whether you should do it or not.
BANG!
Suddenly the door bangs open.
Redhearts and your jimmies are both rustled tremendously. The ECG reaches an incredible rate as your heart makes a jump and you are rewarded with a great amount of pain in your chest. You curl up a little while holding your chest and groan in pain.
”Oh sorry! I forgot about that!” a second nurse rushes to your bed and checks your vital signs ”But I was wondering where Nurse Redheart was hiding!”
You look at the new nurse, she has a bright yellow coat, blue mane & tail and has a white cross with pink hearts in each corner on her flank. Her nurse's hat has a more detailed logo than Nurse Redheart's. She glares over you at her ”Since Nurse Redheart only wanted to check up on Anonymous real quick!”
Redheart now glares back ”Anonymous wanted to know something about his condition, so Nurse Redheart explained it to him!”
Are they talking in 3rd person now? Hopefully this doesn't end in a cat fight...or ponyfight. They glare at each other for a few moments. Then they break out into laughter. The yellow coated nurse heads out of the room saying ”Come on sugar, I need your help with Screwball, she's acting up again.”
Not sure what to say you look up to Redheart. ”Yeah, sorry about that, Nurse Coldheart likes to do those kinds of things, but she's all right. I'll check up on you later.” that said she trots after Nurse Coldheart and leaves the room as you wave her goodbye. You are left to your thoughts again.
...
After some time a brown pony enters your room alongside Nurse Redheart who gives you a warm smile. The brown earthpony introduces himself as Dr. Whooves and he will make some tests with you in order to check on your hearts condition. You are lead to a room with some funny looking devices and a treadmill, here you have to make some exercises while being strapped to a few monitors and other machines. Dr. Whooves and Redheart make a few 'hmm's, 'oh's and 'aha's on occasion, every time your heart beats too fast, it starts to hurt, you tell them immediately but they urge you to go on for just a little while.
After that Nurse Redheart leads you to back to your room. Dr. Whooves later tell you that they can't tell if there is something wrong because your heart pattern is different from that of normal ponies. The pain will subside within 6 months you are told. Twilight doesn't visit today. And Nurse Redheart has apparently her hands full with some ponies called Screwball and Screw Loose.
So the day ends without any major incident and you head to sleep
...
You did horrible things
...
”Hey, wake up sleepyhead.” You get woken up by a Nurse, but you close your eyes quickly again before you can see anything.
“Nurse Redheart?”
”Nope, today is Nurse Redheart's day off, so I will take care of you. I'm Nurse Tenderheart, nice to meet you.” Good, at least it's not Nurse Coldheart, her name suggests bad things. You open your eyes slowly and take a peek at the new nurse.
She has a light blue coat, purple eyes and a light green mane. She has the same Nurse's hat as Redheart and also the same symbol on her flank.
“Uuh, hi” you say groggily.
”Today is your big day big boy, you are going to be released from the hospital.
That's kind of sudden and you have to ask “Already?”
”Already? You are here two months and a half by now, no one told you? The only thing you need is some rest and time will take care of the rest.” she says enthusiastic
“That's kind of sudden...”
”Don't worry, you'll be fine.” she assures you.
“When can I go?”
”As soon as the doctor had a talk with you.” She gives you a tray with your breakfast, then leaves.
...
You should have a talk with Twilight after you get out of here. There is something that needs to be done, before you head home, where ever that may be. Because you have dignity! And because you are no coward! Yes, that's it. You have a plan now! You clench your fist and look at it, the fist that hurt Twilight and her friends. You will apologize for the things you have done! You may not know what that was, nor do you care at the moment. What is important is, that you don't just run away from your wrongdoings!
...
Finally the doctor has time for you. He barges in with a clipboard at the ready and wastes no time ”So Mr. Anonymous, Nurse Tenderheart already told you that you are being released today I guess?” professionalism dripping from every word.
“Yes.”
”Alright, listen then. You still have a heart condition, you feel it every time you stress it, right? I will prescribe you some pills that will deal with that. You will take them every day for the next three months and at the end of every month you will come here for a check up. If you experience unexplainable dizziness, you faint, the heartache remains for extended periods of time, you are very tired all the time or you simply have some questions, come here immediately. Do NOT take these symptoms on the chin, those could indicate serious consequential heart conditions.” This guy means serious business.
“Okay, I understand.” you stummer.
”Alright, you just need to sign some papers at the reception and you're good to go.” He pats you on the shoulder, then leaves ”See you in a bit Anonymous.”
“Yeah, goodbye.” you feel awkward, who pays for your treatment anyway?Also, you have no clothes...walking around naked is not what you need right now. You take the sheets of your blanket and wrap them around your waist. Maybe if you are lucky, you can get away with them. You walk out of your room and wander around the hospital, a few nurses walk around. As you almost crash into Nurse Tenderheart because you were staring at some cribs with little foals, you ask her for directions. She glances shortly at the sheets, shrugs and shows you the way. Quickly you sign the papers and leave the hospital.
Fresh air, a chilly breeze, blue cloudless sky. And a purple unicorn running towards you. ”Anon! Nurse Redheart just told me this morning that you are being released today! If I knew-”
“It's alright Twilight, I also got informed just today, aaand I wanted to talk to you.”
She looks pleased ”Oh good, that's what I had in mind as well. Nice...thing you have there by the way.” she points to your sheet clothing and giggles, then waves you to follow her and you walk side by side.
“Laugh all you want, but tell me, where ARE my clothes?”
”I burned them.” she says casually.
She burned them
“You burned them...”
Awkward silence. She looks proud, as if she did something heroic.
“You're kidding right?”
Twilight shakes her head ”Nope, they are absolutely gone.” This mare...just why...
”Oh come on, I'm just teasing you a little.” Knew it!
“So you have my clothes?” you ask hopefully.
”No, I really burned them, but for good reasons. A lot of ponies saw you in those clothes...with that creepy mask and all, so we told them that that person died. Remember, everypony knew that this masked guy was the evil pony.” she explains that everyone associated this mask outfit with that tower and that what she did was the best choice. She feigned your death.
After some time you both reach a tree house building
“Is that your house?” you ask her
”It's the Golden Oaks Library of ponyville and my home, come on in, I tell you what happened after that day on the tower.” she says proudly. You step inside, it's warm and cozy inside and books are scattered everywhere.
”Iiiit's probably best if you lie down here.” she points to a lounger. You waste no time and make yourself comfortable. You look to Twilight, she places herself at your side and begins to tell you what happened...everything.
About the first incident, a terrible storm during which that huge tower appeared out of nowhere.
After that, the pregnancy rates dropped to zero instantly.
How the three princesses figured out that the tower was at fault.
Your appearance a few weeks after the investigations on the tower started.
How you first abducted Twilight herself, Applejack, then Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and at last half of Fluttershy's animals...of which none survived your...experiments.
About the great escape of her and her friends thanks to Fluttershy's heroism.
The following riot to bring down that tower, ponies wanted to destroy that thing armed with pitchforks and torches. Apparently that didn't work.
Princess Celestia planned to banish that entire tower to the surface of the sun to get rid of it once and for all afterward.
How the royal guards were supposed to sweep the tower, so no pony would get accidentally sent to the sun.
Why the Elements of Harmony participated, of course they also wanted your ass.
That Twilight found a secluded area inside of the tower, some kind of office to control a few functions the tower manually, but most of it's functions were unavailable.
How she managed to remove your memories through an interface in that office, apparently there was a lot of combat training and orders to investigate all unknown species...in brutal ways.
That all beings in Equestria were flagged as unknown in your head only made things worse of course.
About the berating of her friends, that you weren't at fault, but they wouldn't listen because you hurt them so much in so many ways.
But then she hit the roof and convinced them in the end, probably because more of intimidation than goodwill, but whatever.
How she faked your death with that suit so you wouldn't be lynched.
And that the only ones that know who you are, are some people called Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash & Gilda, Twilight herself, the captain of the Wonderbolts Spitfire, her second in command Soarin' and another Wonderbolt named Fleetfoot.
...
It took her all day to sum up all the events of the past two years, alongside multiple theories for every thing you both know nothing of.
“Oooof! Twilight, that was a lot of information, I need a break.”
Twilight smiles proudly, you are not sure why, either because she saved you, or because she knew so much from the top of her head, or both. “But you did save me.” you stroke her mane “I am really grateful to you. If not for you, I wouldn't be sitting here.”
After a few seconds of content stroking, she grabs your hand with her hoofs and examines it.
”Oh you don't have to, after all, you were as much a victim as we were.” she says that without looking up from your hand.
Now to your plan “I still want to apologize properly to you and your friends, and-”
Now you've got her full attention again, she stares you dead in the eye, pondering heavily ”Thaaaat might not be such a good idea as you may think...albeit they said that they had forgiven you, they are not over it. They might still hold a grudge against you.” she says worried
You sit up and answer “That alone is enough reason to do it!”
”I really don't recommend this, what you did really made an impact on their lives. Rainbow wasn't able to fly for 2 months AFTER we got rescued from that tower, and she already was in there for a month. Do you know how important flying is for a Pegasus's psyche? Especially Rainbow's? Princess Celestia personally requested for Gilda's help to cheer her up. Well, at least Gilda wasn't a complete jerk anymore when she came back.” Twilight now looks sad. You need to change the subject, before this gets out of hand. You stand up and walk around a bit.
“But it's over now, all this madness. Is that tower gone already?”
The sad look on her face vanishes as quick as it came ”Oh yes, Princess Celestia sent that abomination to the sun the next day we captured you.” To the sun, this sounds insane “Can she really do that? Who is this Princess anyway?”
This topic is more to her liking and she proceeds with telling you the story of the land of Equestria, even though you only asked after the princess. She casually tells you about the recent history, the princess, that you can stay here at the library and about her friends and what else comes to her mind, which is a big one. She does so during the course of dinner and you don't dare to interrupt her. After she is done blabbering, she shows you the place where you will sleep tonight. She provides you with the essentials and you take a quick shower and make yourself ready to sleep. After that day full of 'what happened's, you happily jump into the pile of blankets and pillows that make your makeshift bed
...
With or without Twilight's help, you will find them, and then you will apologize to them, every single one of them!
You will get to it right tomorrow!
...
The next day starts with a little dragon poking your face.
”Spike, stop bothering Anon, he was just released from hospital yesterday.”
That's right, hospital, you forgot to buy your medications! But you have no money to do so. So serious thoughts so early, you don't want them. You groan and stretch and make your way to the bath. Your trusty hospital sheet always around your waist. You do your bathroom things and get to Twilight who's already digging into her breakfast.
“Twilight, do you think I could get a job somewhere here in ponyville? I need to earn some money to make a living.”
Twilight perks her ears up and smile with her mouth full
”Thasshhh ah ghuuud- *gulp* That's a good idea! I thought about it a few days ago, but I didn't know how to approach that matter.”
“Do you have any suggestions? I don't know where to start.”
”Spike! Can you please get the newspaper?”
The little dragon speeds to the door and comes back with a newspaper
”Thank you Spike.” Twilight takes the newspaper from Spike and he joins the breakfast. The newspaper is split in three and you begin searching for jobs, but you have the part with the sport news.
“Twilight, those are the sport news, do you see any job offers?”
”I know, I thought you'd like them, aaand I have the breaking news part, Spike is looking for the jobs.”
You can almost see her grin behind the newspaper. Spike is mumbling incomprehensibly while working through the job offers.
”Here! This one is just perfect! The Spa Ponies are looking for a part-timer!”
Massaging little ponies is not happening, you snatch the newspaper from Spike. “You better eat your breakfast buddy, besides, I don't think I have qualifications for something like that, let me see what else there is...”
“That's not what Nurse Redheart told me yesterday. And you also tried that on me yesterday!” you ignore Twilight and...fuck. There only are 3 job offers at all.
“How big is ponyville?” you ask Twilight.
”Why do you ask?”
“There are only like, 3 job offers in here.”
”So many?”
You groan and show her the newspaper.
”You can decide what to do, isn't that great? Usually there is only about one vacancy in here at all. You can go to the spa, that's my recommendation for you, you can try it at 'Sofas and Quills', aaaand, oh , the last one is a job at the local school, it's just a stand-in job but you should try anyway!”
By now your face is buried in your hands, given the choices, there is no real choice. You think about where to go first as you spy Twilight's flank.
“It might be a bit sudden, but what's with those marks on your flanks actually? Are those tattoos?”
”Oh, those?” Twilight stands up and gestures to hers, a pink-purple six-pointed star surrounded by five small white stars.
“Yes, all the ponies seem to have them, what's the matter with those?”
A big grin grows on Twilight's face
“Can you keep it short please? There are jobs that need to be found.”
Twilight answers, never stopping to grin ”I'll try.” She pouts her head sideways up, keeping one eye open to see your reaction. You cross your arms and raise an eyebrow, then her blabbering begins again. ”A cutie mark, that's what they're called, is what bla bla bla...” Oh god, she needs to learn to control herself in that regard, after 15 minutes you know more about cutie marks than you want and make her finally stop.
“TWILIGHT!” she makes a jump and looks at you dumbfound after your third attempt to make her listen. “Thank you, but I really need to go now, bye!” You don't give her a chance to respond and rush out of the door, hearing Twilight shouting after you ”But I haven't told you about the unique cutie marks that appeared in the recent zebra historyyyyyy!”
You give her a thumbs up without turning back and get out of her sight.
First stop: Quills and Sofas!
You ask your way around, earning a few awkward stares from a some ponies and finally make it to the place. With your white sheets around your waist you knock on the door. A brown earth pony with a quill and a sofa as cutie mark opens the door and greets you ”Hey there big fella, I'm Davenport, owner of Quills and Sofas, need a sofa? Or maybe I can help you with a quill?” he smirks confidently.
“Good day sir, I'm Anonymous and I was looking for a job, in the-”
He gives you a guilty frown and stops you ”Oh I'm sorry, if you had been a few minutes earlier...”
He points inside to another pony which looks like his son, sitting behind a counter and waving at you both with enthusiasm. Okay, so the only job that most probably wouldn't drive you crazy isn't available, could be worse, right? Let's see about that school. Maybe being a teacher isn't as bad as you've thought until now.
You ask your way to the local school. It's a bit secluded, but that is not worth mentioning. As you approach, you see a bunch of little fillies playing at a playground near the school building.
A cerise colored adult stands at the entrance of the school. You walk over to her and introduce yourself “Excuse me please. I'm Anonymous, there was a job offer in the newspaper this morning for a stand-in job here.”
She smiles broad. Yes! Smiling is always a good sign!
”Oh wonderful! Errmm, sorry, where are my manners. I'm Cheerilee, the teacher here at the Ponyivlle Schoolhouse, I was looking for somepony who could take over teaching the little foals for a few week when I go on vacation in two months.”
You scratch the back of your neck “I'll gladly do it, but I have no experience in teaching.”
”No problem, I already worked out a detailed curriculum which you just have to follow. It's foalproof!” While Cheerilee gives you a little course of what you would have to do, a filly catches your attention.
It's a white filly with green eyes and her mane & tail are lightly curled in two different purple tones. She watches you for a few moments, then interrupts Cheerilee ”Are you Anonymous?” she asks curious.
“Uuuhm, yes? wh-” she speeds away before you can say another word.
”SCOOTALOO!!! HE'S HERE!!!”
Cheerilee now has a concerned look on her face ”Oh no, what are they up to?”
You hear a stampede coming your way, all of the foals you saw earlier emerge from around a corner. A orange filly with spiky cerise colored mane & tail speaks up, making the entire horde stop right behind her ”You're Anon?!” They all look at you, awaiting your response, you've never felt that awkward before. But you just agreed on a job to teach these fillys for a few weeks, you have to stand up to them, show them your authority!
“I'm Anonymous, and -” they storm at you in unison
What the?!
FUUUUUUCK!!!
Just now you realize that they are all armed! Armed with pencils! Every single one of them. The one you suggest to be Scootaloo just screams ”You know what to do! GET HIM!”
Cheerilee futilely attempts to intercept the mob, but she can only handle three at a time, and they wiggle themselves free eventually ”Stop it you foals! Sto-”
You can only hear giggles and laughter as the wave of little ponies crashes down on you. You try to keep them away, but they push you down easily, you don't want to hurt them either so you keep struggling to a minimum. You feel them painting all over your body and, oh no! Your sheets must be like a canvas to them!
“Stop it, what are you doing! Staahhp!” you scream, but they don't listen. They roll you over on the back and ravage your front, Scootaloo jumps on your chest and gives you a grin that splits her face ”I'm so sorry.” she says with intentionally bad innocent acting ”But the awesome Rainbow Dash & Gilda told me to go a little rough on you.”
Damn.
“Rainbow and Gilda huh?” you ask cautiously. She giggles, grabs a pencil with her mouth and makes a drawing of a rainbow colored mare and a Griffon on your chest. Then she draws all over your face. After they are done and scattered you stand up and turn to Cheerilee. She has an apologetic look now and walks over to your now colorful self.
”I'm so sorry about that! We just had an art lesson and they always want to go on after that, I'm so sorry!” she apologizes
“It wasn't your fault, I know who's behind this. Maybe...I'm just not fit for this job...sorry.”
Being a teacher might be even worse than you thought.
Cheerilee points you in the direction of the lake and apologizes another thousand times. You shrug it off and make your way to the accumulation of liquid to wash yourself clean. In your current state, you are even more colorful than that Rainbow Dash. Can't walk around like that.
The sky is clear and the sun shines warm, except for that one cloud...that one seems odd...you can't shake the feeling of being watched and the cloud seems to follow you too. Every time you turn around, the cloud is there...probably just freaky coincidence. Hope you don't meet anypony on your way. Yeah, that would be embarrassing, like that minty colored pony over there snickering at you.
Shiiiiiiiit!
Now she bumps her pal, a creamy colored one with a cobalt blue & light pink mane. Oh no, now they are both laughing.
Reputation status: As good as Ruined
You walk faster, have to get away from watching eyes. You must look like a clown, these two are laughing out loudly by the time you're out of sight. Damn, where is that stupid lake? Gotta get rid of this shit! Another pair of ponies comes your way, and you can see another couple a bit farther away. You're not even in town, yet there are ponies everywhere! What the hell?! You hear some giggles right behind you, swirling around, you see...nothing. The cloud, even the clouds laugh at you. It could be worse, they didn't paint anything perverted onto you. Alright, man up you pussy, there's nothing to be ashamed of! You are just the victim of a prank! You ignore all the cackles and chuckles from the ever growing crowd and take your walk of shame like a man. The cloud is ever present, by now it's apparent that some ponies are hiding inside that thing. Clouds that are roaring with laughter ain't natural, no matter where you are. You finally arrive at the lake, time to wash this shit off, but first you admire yourself in the reflection on the water. Oh god.
Oh fuck damn shit.
You look hilarious.
No wonder they all laughed. You can't help but smirk at your own image. Suddenly your reflection grows a second head, and a third! You know those! You spin around and see the culprits “Gilda! Rainbow Dash!”
They can barely restrain their laughter.
“Scootaloo already told me! You both instigated this!” You can't help but feel a little angry
”BWAHAHAHAA!” they burst with laughter ”Let us give you a hand!” Gilda exclaims laughing, Rainbow adds ”Yeah, you can't walk around like THIS PFHFHFH!”
Gilda grabs your left arm, Rainbow the right, they steady their footing and-
“No! Stop it! I don't-”
You can fly.
Backwards.
You scream as you fly over the water. The last thing you see are the both of them rolling on the shore, holding their stomachs. Then you hit the surface of the water pretty far inside of the lake. It isn't as cold as you feared.
But.
You are sinking.
How do you get back to the surface?!
You exhale.
You sink deeper.
Inhal- GRBGLHBLMISTAKEBGRHBL!!!
Panic kicks in. You can't swim! You flail around in terror. Not like this! It feels like an eternity without air. NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU! Only Rainbow and Gilda are here, and they hate your guts!
See? There they are! They even dived into the water to watch you drown!And now they hold on to you! They want to do it themselves! Watching isn't enough for them!
You struggle with all that you have, lack of oxygen making you dizzy already. You need to cough, expel the water you breathed in! Your lungs start to burn and flinch as you suppress any breathing related reflexes.
Gilda somehow managed to get behind you and pins one of your arms at your back. Her other talon holds your jaw. You have no chance! Your muscles start to relax as Gilda almost breaks your arm and squeezes your neck. You can just as well embrace the inevitable. End of the line. Gilda swims to the surface with you in her iron grip. AHA! She just wants to give you hope, so she can crush it again!
Both of you break through the surface and you cough to your hearts content.
She's coughing at least as much as you do ”Hold still dweeb, or you'll drown us both!” she's backstroking, keeping your head above the water. Both of you reach the shore alive, Rainbow grabs you as soon as Gilda drops you on the sand and pulls you away from the water. You just lie there, holding your stomach and catching your breath, just like Gilda.
”That's the third time I saved your sorry ass dweeb, you seriously owe me now!” she really did!
“Why did you save me? I thought you hated me both?”
“We are way too cool to do that.” Rainbow says
The griffon adds ”Yeah, that would be so not cool.”
You scratch the back of your neck, now you feel even more guilty, great. They forgave you. That easily? No way! It has to be more difficult! An awkward silence spreads. The heavy breathing dies down after a few minutes and the initial shock fades away. They shake off some water, you sit up and look at them. Gilda and Rainbow ready themselves to take off. Not so fast!
“Wait!”
They both turn around, their eyes make their thoughts clear: Make it quick or you can eat their dust!
“I...” Don't fuck this up now!!! “I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about what happened.”
They turn around, attention set on you
”Then learn to swim dweeb.”
W... what?! “N-No, that's not what I-”
You are cut short by their laughter, Rainbow trots over to you and pats you on the shoulder roughly ”We know, we're just pulling your leg buddy.” she says that while giving you a hearty grin ”Twilight told us all, you weren't yourself and all that.”
You don't know what to say “But...”
”Oooh, don't start whining dweeb, show at least SOME backbone!” Gilda is kinda right, you don't want to annoy them
“Okay Okay, just, don't throw me in the lake anymore.”
They look at each other and laugh some more, but that's not enough.
“But if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know, I'll do what I can for you.”
They stick their heads together and mumble something, after a few glances in your direction and occasional giggles, they turn to you.
”Alright, we consider your offer. Aaand sorry about the lake thing, we didn't expect THAT.” with that said, they lift off and out of sight in no time. You wash the rest of the paint from your skin, careful to avoid any deep spots in the water. The drawings on your sheet are completely unimpressed by your attempts to get rid of them. Well, they don't look THAT bad, you'll get them later with detergent eventually. For now, you just hang your sheet on a twig in the sun to dry and lie down. Thinking a little. In retrospect, everything went better than expected. Okay, except that near death experience maybe. Maybe the others have similar dispositions towards you AND won't kill you accidentally? Hmm... Nah. Better don't get your hopes up. But for now you feel great, relieved, like you finally did something that bothered you for a long time. Your jimmies are as unrustled as they can be. You doze off a little.
...
You dream of violence...
...
You wake up some time later, somehow your high spirits are gone, but your not in a particularly bad mood. Anyway, there is still a job you need to check out, you equip your dry, comfy hospital sheet shorts and head out.
The Ponyville Day Spa.
It really goes against your gut feeling to even ask for a job here, only girls work in these places, right? Oh to hell with all the prejudices, you have no job, no home, no money, no knowledge about anything and you wear a sheet plastered with foal drawings, what's the worst that could happen?
The door sports two big hearts
“Uuugh”
The entire building stands out in girlish colors
”Uuuuuuuugh”
And there is a poster filly above the door which is showered by glittering stars that fall out of a horseshoe
“UUUUuuuuuuuuugh”
”AHEM! Are you going to groan and block the entrance all day?” you turn around to the source of the sophisticated voice. OH SHIT! It's that white unicorn Rarity! Oh no, you aren't ready to confront her already! What to say? What CAN you say?! First off, don't stand there like an idiot!
You step aside, she just watches you with disinterest. Fuck, what now? She is going to a spa you moron, she has class! Be polite! At least try to!
You hold her the door open and she speaks up ”Hmpfh, at least you know your place now, wait here. I'll be right back. Don't dare to turn tail!” she walks inside and the door closes behind her. Now's your chance!
NO! She said wait! If you run away from this, she will hate you even more!
Damn.