To Dash an Apple

by Toraka

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Tragedy, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3907

We all see monsters from time to time, ones from which we run and hide. But how can you escape a foe which lives inside of you?

We all see monsters from time to time, ones from which we run and hide. But how can you escape a foe which lives inside of you?

Published 2013-02-25 08:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-25 08:30:02 UTC

Erasure

"Yeah. I don't wanna live with this. Now that she's dead, she might as well be gone, right?" Rainbow argued.

"Very well. Come to the library, we'll see to you."

"There we go. She's coming along." Rainbow heard a voice, but it was coming from far away. She was surrounded by darkness save for a single dot of light. She clung to it with all her force as it steadily grew, eventually leading her to a blurry library.

"Uh? Whazzgoinon?" she mumbled, trying to get a grip on reality. The picture before her just refused to focus.

Suddenly, a smiling face came into her vision, bearing down on her from above as she laid stretched out on something soft. She knew this pony, her lavender coating, her ruler-straight mane. Her name was Twilight Sparkle. "Welcome back, Rainbow. You've just... agreed to help me with a new spell. There might be some side effects, including loss of memory and, um, some crossed eyes, but I assure you, what's bothering you is only temporary."

Not the pony to simply give up, Rainbow quickly collected herself and gave her wings a powerful flap in order to return to where she belonged, above the ground. At least that had been her intention, which was rudely interrupted by her face coming to closely inspect the floorboards. She decided that walking was a better idea for the moment, pleased to see that it was possible without too much effort. She wobbled over to Twilight. The letters in the book her friend was reading were fortunately still comprehensible, though she felt that she had been a faster reader sometime earlier.

"Say, it's normal that I can barely remember a thing, right?" Dash asked as casually as possible.

"I'm almost sure that it is. Most of the effects you're experiencing right now will go away over time. Although you may need to relearn some too. Why don't you start with checking back on your friends? Given your earlier flight performance, I'd say you could use a ground-acessible place to sleep for the first time. Unfortunately, I really don't have room right now, so you might want to ask around while the Sun's still up."

"Got it." Just as she contemplated her options, a stinging headache appeared, though it had vanished just as soon as she could react to it. "So it's you, well, you're down, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, or Fluttershy. Did I miss anypony?"

"I don't think so. Be careful out there, alright?"

"Will do. See ya!" Rainbow called as she trotted out the door.

Briefly put, the problems hadn't just gone away. Still, the past few months had been good on Rainbow Dash. She had recovered most of her earlier skills, and while some things were still in improvable condition, amongst them her eyesight, she was able to all in all live a happy life without burden.

The weather forepony had been surprisingly understanding, allowing her as much time off as she needed to get back on track. She'd gladly taken it as a chance to recover surrounded by her friends, but she'd been equally glad on the day when her wings would finally carry her again and she could reclaim the skies. Occasionally, she would be struck by an odd headache, but she could imagine worse.

She paused for a moment to inspect her work of the day. There was scheduled to be a small rainstorm coming across Ponyville starting above Sweet Apple Acres, so she'd been gathering together clouds to assemble that. Looking back on it, she'd have to pat herself on the back if that was in any way possible. The cumulus had grown to an imposing size, already lightly rumbling and tumbling, avid to drop its load regardless of who or what it'd hit.

It was almost perfect. Almost. It needed only a tiny bit more, like the puff of cloud Rainbow had just spotted floating over a small group of trees. She sprinted to it, eager to end her work. Once she had reached it however, another idea came to her mind. She hadn't slept too much that day, her eyes were aching, and that cloud looked softer than anything she'd ever seen. Surely, she could afford a few minutes of break time.

After a refreshing, but all too brief relaxation period, Dash had her meditation broken as a rogue wind from the storm she'd created had torn up her cloud bed and sent her spinning downwards. This was not a big issue, of course. She could remember having done similar maneuvers in earlier times. Her wings didn't quite seem to be as quick to recall as there had yet been no need for it, but she'd be able to execute it just fine, she just had to remember the exact movements.

Seconds later, she'd stabilised her rotation and was about to pull out of the dive, though she paused before doing so. Out of the corner of her eye, she had seen something. It was too far away for her eyes to still make out clearly, but there was a distinctive glint coming from the ground, reflected by some bright stone, perhaps marble. Any other pony would shrug it off as a shiny and return to work, but somehow, the glint reached deep into her mind. So far that she remembered what it was and why it was there. Why she'd tried and failed to escape it.

Rainbow Dash inhaled, closed her eyes, and folded her wings back together.

Author's Note

Was this really the right choice?

To Dash an Apple

Rainbow Dash ran. She simply had to get to her, but it seemed that she had only been going on the spot for hours now without moving a single inch towards or away from her target. She had obviously tried to take off and get an edge out of the skies, but her wings simply clamped to her sides, refusing to stir in any way. Thus, she kept on sprinting into the darkness ahead, never daring to lose sight of her. Slowly, she started to notice her own panting. She pushed on as well as she could to ignore it. Something appeared to grant her a thousand times her usual stamina, but even that did not last forever. An ever present flame of doubt welled up ever so slowly within her. What if she was not fast enough for once, what if she couldn't save her?

Dash couldn't afford that doubt. Certainly, she would not fail, she could not. She didn't want to imagine living in the future that would result. She barely noticed the rain which had long since soaked everything on her body, in fact, she barely noticed anything as her environments blended together into two classes, free way and obstacles she had to avoid or surmount.

At long last, she thought to lose distance, to win the chase, only to be interrupted in her victory haze by a piercing scream higher than anything she'd heard before, paralysing her and freezing any liquid within her. There was no reason to keep going now, it was done. A world came crashing down to her as she dropped onto her flanks, unable to figure out a solution to the changed problem or even control her emotions. She was nothing more than a crying filly, alone, abandoned. Even though she certainly tried, all her tears could not wash away the blood that drenched and stuck her mane to her cheeks, once a brilliant mixture of every colour in the spectrum, now uniformly in that taunting red. She wished only for the nightmare to end, whatever way necessary. Fortunately, it always would seconds after.

"And then that's it?"

"That's when I always wake up," Rainbow Dash thus finished her description, adjusting her position on the violet function-over-comfort couch into sitting to give her tired neck a rest. She had spent enough time talking and staring up at the ceiling to know its exact contents, down to memorising the structure of the windows, all but one of which she had already crashed into before. It all looked the same as usual, far too immaculate to let anypony who didn't know better believe that the library was actually inhabited.

Twilight Sparkle straightened her reading glasses, a gesture which they both knew was almost pointless since she had perfect sight and only wore some uncut glasses for cosmetic purposes. "Well, that is... something, I must say. While we're here, let me thank you for your trust to bring those issues to me, rather than a studied psychiatrist. Now, is there anything else you'd like to tell me? Any explanations you have for it?" she said, quill still upright with its needle just above the parchment, ready to scribble down any necessary notes.

Rainbow crammed through her brain as fast as she could, but it yielded only the same result as always. "Nothing," she murmured. "That's the point, I have no idea what it's supposed to mean."

"Really? No traumata, perhaps a tragic loss sometime in your past? Losing a parent can be very dramatic for a foal, I've seen that well on her."

"My parents are alive and well, they even visited me last week, thanks for asking. Not anything that I'd know of, but there's gotta be something. I just can't remember what it is, and honestly, that's driving me crazy!"

"Hmm," the unicorn mumbled something incomprehensible, looking disappointed at Rainbow's lack of easily found psychoses. For a moment, Dash even thought to have seen worry in her eyes, though it quickly snapped back into the helpful smile she always wore a second later. "Well, I'll need to evaluate that case. You should try to enjoy yourself in the meantime and forget it, it's not going to kill you. Not... right away, at least."

"Isn't that encouraging," sighed Rainbow Dash. "Thanks for listening, I guess. Just had to talk to somepony about it. If you don't mind, I think I'm gonna see if AJ wants to hang out. I need other things on my mind."

"Actually, Rainbow," Twilight said, walking the pegasus to the door, "I... I think Fluttershy wanted to see you."

"Huh, guess I'm gonna see what she wants then. Thanks for the relay and everything you did and stuff."

"Any time." She magicked open their way outside and accompanied her friend the little distance that she would need from the tree in order to safely take off. Dash was already stretching her every muscle while walking with special focus on her wings. They certainly had to be itching after such a long time of disuse, Twilight figured. "I'll let you know if I find out something. Come again sometime."

Rainbow was already a solid ten feet in the air before calling, "See ya," as a last goodbye. When she was in the air, dragging a multicoloured trail behind her as proof of her casually reached record speeds, nothing seemed to be as bad as when she was firmly grounded, though even that effect couldn't help fade out the lack of memory that was bothering her. However, it helped the tiniest bit possible nevertheless. She was confident it was nothing.

After yet another example at exceptionally rapid flight, Rainbow Dash arrived at the small cottage just out of town. She had already beaten the distance in less time, but she could barely care less about that when even her slowest time still put most average pegasi at awe. She landed a short distance away, figuring that it'd be politer to come up on the ground where it was physically possible to see her coming. She set to knock, but heard animals being louder than usual before her hoof could touch the door and thus made her way towards the back, where her friend was likely tending to the animals.

There were always ponies who claimed to be in touch with nature or the likes, but none of them could compare in the minds of ponies who had seen Fluttershy in her alone time. There were critters of all sorts and sizes, too many for anypony to even know the species of all, though she herself seemed to be able to call any one of them by name. And as she hailed, they all followed without hesitation or fear, running around and onto her. Slowly, Rainbow snuck closer. The animals inevitably scattered as she announced her presence by saying, "Hey Fluttershy," but they quickly returned once they saw their mistress' calm reaction to the intruder. A few daring squirrels even climbed onto the hexacolored mare who shook them off in an attempt not to break her own awesome appearance. "You wanted to see me?"

After carefully allowing each individual animal to crawl back off of her so that she could move without fear, Fluttershy replied, "Yes, uhm, you see, we have to count out the squirrels in the area for the statistics department."

Rainbow gave a critical eyebrow in response. "Didn't we just do that literally a week ago?"

"Uh, yes, but we need to be extra accurate." The yellow pegasus' expression was unreadable, but friendly as expected.

Though she knew her better than any other, Dash couldn't see her intentionally lying to a friend like that, so she decided to accept it. "Alright, let's get to it then." On cue, Fluttershy briefly conversed with one of the rodents that had previously been trying to mess up Rainbow's carefully unruly mane. It ran off into the dark forest and, a few minutes later, returned with half a population - or likely more accurately, an entire one - on its tail. "I never got how in the world you can talk to those adorable little pests," Rainbow Dash commented as they formed a double line for counting.

Fluttershy looked up from shaking hoof to paw with one who apparently had royal status, which didn't make him any less visually indistinguishable from the rest, to shoot a disapproving glare at the other pegasus. "You know that they can understand you, too?" Her face lightened up again, "It's a matter of listening. I'm sure you could do it too if you tried."

"I do know that they somehow understand us." Seeing as the line was still putting itself together, she then sighed and said, "Well, nothing to lose if I try. Except my dignity." She stepped forward to one somewhat particular specimen wearing a black triangular hat and holding a wooden steering wheel between its front paws, "Hello, little, uh, squirrel. What's with the wheel?"

Rainbow could not imagine achieving anything but making a fool of herself, but somehow, through the chittering, she was able to make out comprehensible words. "Aye, it's been drivin' me nuts," it said.

"Huh. Always gotta know where they go so you don't suddenly have a tree instead, right?" The critter nodded and affirmatively yarred. "Awesome. Can we begin then?"

Fluttershy gazed down the line, which was now as straight as it was going to become being composed out of woodland creatures. "I think so. Let's see then."

"Great, I really wanna check on AJ later," Dash said as she begun to count from one end of the line.

"I'm not sure you want to do that," the older mare replied with a voice that suddenly sounded much more fragile than before, even exceeding how she was around other ponies. "She's... really busy."

"So much that I can't visit her? Come on, that's not like her." Rainbow didn't receive any answer, so she simply returned to the task at hoof. Unfortunately, her patience didn't last too long. Around furry animal number forty-six, curiosity got the better of her and she once again asked, "What is it that's keeping her occupied? It's not any major seasons, she would've told me about anything. So what's the deal?"

"You shouldn't - crop preparation. She's doing that." It could be malicious intent on Rainbow's side, but Fluttershy's voice seemed to carry a note of fear within it.

They both reached the middle of the line. "Fifty-one on this side. Sorry, Shy, but... something feels wrong here. You know what, I'm gonna go ask her personally." Without further ado, Rainbow took off southwards, towards the Acres, leaving behind a panicking pegasus with her animals.

Fluttershy ran. She simply had to get to her, but it seemed that she had only been going on the spot for hours now without moving a single inch towards or away from her target. She had obviously tried to take off and get an edge out of the skies, but her wings simply clamped to her sides, refusing to stir in any way. Slowly, she started to notice her own panting. She pushed on as well as she could to ignore it. She couldn't allow physical weakness to make her fail now. Rainbow still looked normal when she finally caught up, zipping through the skies in search of a certain earth pony. "Stop!" she pleaded upwards, desperation providing the necessary strength to her voice. "You can't do this!"

"What in the pony is wrong with you?" came in response. "Seriously, all I wanna do I talk to my friend!"

"You don't want to," Fluttershy tried to argue, but tears swallowed her voice. However, that could have been the one thing that caused Dash to pause, look down, see her crying, and land.

"Hey, what's wrong? You act like something serious had happened." Rainbow tried to comfort her friend, an effort rendered even more futile as she spotted something over her shoulders. "What's that?"

She quickly moved towards the alien object, meanwhile trying to convince the other mare to collect herself and come along, which was slightly effective by any means. The ground was no longer being assaulted by burning hot drops of water, but all the courage Fluttershy had available went into slowly trotting after her with her head hung low and whispering, "I'm sorry."

The object was a stone, set upright and inscribed with the words, "Here lies Applejack - Devoted to her family up to her very death."

"No... no, this isn't right. You're kidding me. This can't be true. It can't..." Rainbow looked to be on the edge of a neural breakdown. Struggling to control herself, to uphold an illusion of order that even she knew was simply lying to herself, she turned and stared at Fluttershy. "Why? Why didn't you tell me, why did she have to die?"

"You still don't remember? Applejack has never been our friend, she's been working for the enemy the entire time! Understand, she was nothing more than a spy sent by the Order to compromise our Brotherhoof, to relay all of our secrets to them. Everything was at stake! You simply had to eliminate her." She slowly approached and laid a hoof onto Rainbow's shoulder, though it helped little to quell the sobs coming from the cyan mare. "It was necessary. She would have endangered our position in the war, and with it, the greater good."

Rainbow Dash collapsed where she stood. "The greater good. And that's a reason to kill my friend!? My love? I can finally remember... Applejack, what have I done? No, it wasn't me... it can't have."

Minutes passed without any significant change in the scenery. The stone was hidden in a small group of trees so that nopony in the house could see them. Eventually, Rainbow's sobs ceased, and they just both sat in quiet contemplation. At least, they did until a voice coming from behind startled them, "Interesting."

They both looked around for the source, eventually spotting a purple unicorn flickering into view as the last patches of a high-level invisibility spell faded off of her. "Twilight!" Fluttershy gasped. "How much did you hear?"

"Oh, don't worry." Twilight walked forward and slowly strode around them, circling the grave. Before Fluttershy could relax however, she continued, "She's told me enough about the Order, the Brotherhoof, and your puny war. I could figure the connections. The greater good... a danger to the war. She's used those words too, but only now can I truly comprehend them. Can't you see where this will lead us? How many more innocents have to die before both parties will see the futility? How much love needs to be ripped apart? This is not a war, you're just quarrelling about who can disrupt life without reason the most! The quarrel which took her, and now Applejack."

"Twilight, is this really important right now?"

She stopped, put a hoof under Rainbow's chin, and lifted up her head in order to make her meet her own gaze. "It's what it all boils down to, my dear. Two days ago, you came to me asking that I should erase your memory of that night. I complied, and the rest's history. Obviously, now we'll need to do something to stop this from repeating, as I'm fairly certain it will if we'll just rid you of the same memories again. You can work out a way to end this charade sometime later."

"Hmm." Dash thought about any kind of possible solution while wiping the liquid from her eyes, of which she seemed to have simply run out to spill. "Could you just help me forget her? Then everything would be fine again, right?"

"Like, altogether?" Rainbow nodded. "That'd be a serious incision, but I guess it'd work if I recast the same spell on a larger scale. You'd lose much, though. Any memory where you consciously remember her being had to go. Not impossible, though. If you wish."

"Yes," Rainbow Dash said determinedly. "Or, actually..."

Author's Note

Choose your ending.

Confrontation

"Actually," Rainbow said, "I think I can handle it. Only cowards run away from the truth. On that note," she turned towards Fluttershy, silent anger and disappointment clear within her expression, "I hope you don't expect me to come back to the Brotherhoof. I'm done with that now. Goodbye."

She took off and escaped sight with unmatched speed. "No!" Fluttershy cried after her, an obviously pointless effort.

Twilight comforted her. "Relax, murderer. I'm sure she's fine. Right now, she needs time."

Night had fallen over Ponyville. Rainbow had always loved watching the night sky from her fluffy home. It gave her the best view possible, above any bother. Yet, as she sat alone on the edge of the cloud, it felt hollow. She couldn't get the night out of her head when she had shared this exact view with her dearest. She simply couldn't comprehend the loss. She couldn't accept it. She couldn't live with it.

A few noiseless tears started to drop again. Ponies walking below would probably see them as first indications for a rainfall that was never going to come. She tried to come to terms with it, perhaps forget, but she couldn't. Whenever she closed her eyes for as much as a blink, she would see the same challenging smile on the same face. She was not strong enough.

"Gonna be with ya soon," she whispered and glided forward. Instantly, her wings sprung open, fuelled by survival instincts. She wouldn't need them. A single thought of her was enough to remind herself of that.

Rainbow Dash inhaled, closed her eyes, and folded her wings back together.

Author's Note

Was this really the right choice?