Pinkie is a Word.
Pinkie Pie was running, or, in her case, hopping to her good friend Rainbow Dash for another fun day of pranking unsuspecting ponies.
“Oh! That sounds like fun!” The pink pony felt her heart leap in joy as a million schemes, prank contraptions, and bowls of pudding (… for some reason) were floating around in her thoughts. “I keep the pudding in there in case I get hungry, or if a friend needs it. You can never have enough pudding! And it feels really funny in my head.”
I’ll just take your word for that.
“Okay! But why am I in a white void? I don’t remember Ponyville having nothing,” said the enthusiastic party pony with a small frown on her face as she half hopped, and half floated demonstratively in the nothingness that surrounded her.
Oh, didn’t I do some world building yet? Let me get right to that. Let me just add some dirt roads under those hooves, some wind in your poofy hair, a bit of clouds and sky, aaaand done! How do you like it?
“Well, that’s better, but where are all my friends and all the buildings? Ponyville wouldn’t really live up to its name if it didn’t have any ponies or ville, would it? And ‘white-void-ville’ just doesn’t roll of the tongue, don’t you agree?” A few ponies looked confused at the baker pony that was conversing with what seemed to be thin air. After a few seconds of watching the spectacle, they just shrugged and continued to go along their daily routine in the various shops and homes all over Ponyville. This was Pinkie Pie after all.
Pinkie smiled as she finally saw her beloved village again. “Nice prank, voice in my head, you really got me there!” The party pony let out a noise between a giggle and a snort as she was already planning a counter prank in adorable retaliation.
“Hey! I don’t snort when I laugh, or do I?” Pinkie sat on the ground while she scratched her chin with her hoof, lost in deep thought. “Nah, I don’t,” the pony said as a bright and confident smile appeared on her face. “Gummy would tell me otherwise.”
Pinkie looked at a random spot on the yellow wall of the building in front of her as a conspiratorial look appeared on her face. “Just between you and me, voice,” the mare whispered, “Gummy can be brutally honest. Sometimes I think that he should have been the bearer of the element of honesty.” A sudden look of concern appeared on her face as looked at the bare spot on the wall. “Don’t tell Applejack I said that, though!” the baker said, pleading. “She’s a great bearer for the element of honesty! I wouldn’t want her to feel intimidated by Gummy’s potential. Besides, baby alligators can’t be wear jewelry. They’re babies, it would be crazy!”
Uhm… sure, Pinkie. Your secret is safe with me, whatever. Shall we get on with the adventure? I believe that you were about to visit Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie let out a sigh as she swiped the concern from her face, glad that the element bearer crisis was averted.
“Okie dokie,” the mare cheerfully said as she started to walk to Rainbow Dash’s cloud home again. Suddenly, her walking came to a, surprisingly literal, screeching halt as she looked behind her with a frown on her face. “Wait. What do you mean with ‘adventure’?”
Nothing, just keep going. You wouldn’t want to keep your friend waiting now, would you?
“Well, alright,” the earth pony reluctantly agreed as the suspicious look slowly melted away. “You’re right! I can’t keep Dashie waiting! She’ll think that I’ve forgotten her!” The pink mare smiled again as she quickly went the correct way again, to her friend.
Pinkie pie was panting as she finally arrived at the outskirts of Ponyville, where her Pegasus friend had moved again. The baker had always wished that she could life in a cloud house too. Dreaming about how amazing it must be to simply float your home to wherever you wanted.
“Why am I *huff* so *huff* tired?” the mare asked as she was lying down on the grass, slowly regaining her breath. “I run around *huff* all the time.”
Oh, that’s because you are wearing two saddlebags filled with stuff for pranks. Those rubber chickens can be pretty heavy if you pile them up.
“Hey! No fair!” complained the earth pony. “I’m not complaining! Those things weren’t even there a second ago, you’re cheating!” The mare huffed as she stomped her hoof on the ground.
They were there all this time. I just didn’t decide to describe them yet. We don’t want the first part of this thing to be a big exposition dump, do we? You’ve got to bring these things in the world in a natural way.
“You’re just making things up to make it hard for me.” Pinkie crossed her front hooves as she looked away from the invisible object of her irritation. “I’m not listening to you anymore until you apologize.”
…
Rainbow Dash, awoken from a nap she took to regain some energy after a morning filled with practicing various stunts, peeked carefully over the clouds of her home. “Pinkie? Who are you talking too?” asked the cyan mare as her rainbow mane fell over the edge of the clouds.
“Oh, just some stupid voice in my head that no one can hear except for me.” The mare instantly forgot her sour mood as soon as she saw her prank buddy. “He seemed really nice at first, but then he just started to make stuff up for no reason at all, who even does that?”
“Riiiiight,” the blue Pegasus said while raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure that you are feeling okay, Pinkie?”
“Of course I’m feeling alright, Dashie,” the earth pony replied as started to hop enthusiastically again. “Because today we are going to pull the best prank EVER!” The ground shook a bit as the mare said the last word at an unreasonable loud volume. “Oops, sorry.”
“That’s… that’s okay, Pinkie.” The Pegasus started massaging her head to get rid of the ringing noise in her ears. “I can’t wait to see the look on Fluttershy’s face when she finds out that we replaced all of her animals with rubber chickens.” The blue prankster chuckled at the prospect of another successful joke.
The mare on the ground stopped her cheerful hopping as she processed what her friend had said. “Wait. That’s what the chickens are for?”
“Yeah, of course,” came the answer from the clouds. “Let me just get my stuff from my house and I’ll see you in a second!”
“Wait!” A concerned look was growing on Pinkie’s face as she called back her friend with a worried yell. “We can’t prank Fluttershy, she’s way too sensitive. We promised that our pranks would always be in good fun, remember?”
“Yeah… you’re right.” The rainbow mare had a disturbed look on her face as she stared at her friend. “Strange. For some reason I… forgot.” Dash shook her head, as if to get rid of the cobwebs in her head. “I’m sorry, Pinkie. I’m not feeling that well today. We’ll hang out another time.”
The earth pony deflated a bit as an entire day of fun with a good friend went up in thin air in just a moment. “Oh, okay. I understand if you’re feeling a bit sick. Don’t be afraid to call me if you need anything.” The pink mare hopped up again her grin returned. “We’ll do an even better prank together as soon as you are better.”
The Pegasus allowed a weak smile to return to her tired face. “Will do, Pinkie. Don’t worry. I just need some rest.”
The baker pony waved her friend goodbye as she went to Ponyville again in search of something to do with an entire day without plans.
“That was strange,” the pink mare said as she browsed the various wares that were displayed in the market of Ponyville. “Rainbow Dash would never forget that we wouldn’t prank Fluttershy. The poor thing, she looked so guilty when she remembered. Maybe I should buy her something to cheer her up.”
I’ll say. I can’t believe that you remembered that. Or that I forgot it. How does that even make sense?
“Oh, hey! It’s you again, weird voice.” Pinkie’s outburst attracted the attention of the other ponies, who started to shy away a bit from the eccentric mare. Even for Pinkie Pie, this was starting to get a bit strange.
Weren’t you mad at me?
“That was like, half an hour ago.” The mare shrugged as she paid for a particularly good looking cherry, not noticing the weird look the stallion gave her along with her change. “Besides, what’s a bit of reality warping between friends?”
Well, okay. Hey, you know what you should do? Visit your friend Applejack! You two can do all sorts of fun stuff together. Like, bake a pie or… uhm… drink cider? I don’t know. Whatever it is, I’m sure that you’ll love it!
Pinkie gasped loudly as the incorporable being proposed its idea. “You’re right, voice!” The mare kicked up small clouds of dirt as she ran across the path toward her friend’s farm. “Applejack always has the most amazing and fun things to do!”
The mare barely managed to slow down her sugar powered dash as she saw the familiar shape of Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse appearing in the distance. Dodging various trees and buckets filled with apples, the mare made her way to the orange farm pony. The sound of trees being kicked by powerful hooves filled the air, and made it easy to locate her hardworking friend.
“Hey A.J., what are you doing!?”
The orange mare yelped and missed the tree she was aiming for as the pink pony appeared next to her. With a painful smack, the farm pony landed on her face. A groan of pain could be heard from under her Stetson.
“Ohmygosh! I’m sooo sorry!” Pinkie was profusely apologizing as she helped her friend up again. “I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just that I had planned an amazing day with Rainbow Dash, but then she got sick, and all the rubber chickens were making me tired, and the voice in my head was being a meanie, but then he gave me this great idea to come visit you. So that’s why I’m here!” The pink mare beamed as she finished her frantic explanation.
Applejack stared at the energetic pony with a dazed look as the constant stream of words invaded her ears. Shaking her head, she decided to simply nod and greet her friend.
“Nah need tah apologize, sugahcube. Ah’m jus fine.” The orange mare gave a reassuring wink as she dusted herself off. “The Apple family is made of sturner stuff, yes ma’am.”
“Oh no! Applejack, did you chip a tooth when you fell?” The baker pony quickly hugged her friend in concern as she was starting to tear up. “Don’t you worry. I’ll pay for your dentist appointment! Everything will be alright!”
The farmer looked with a raised eyebrow at the unexpected display of dramatics. “Ah have no ahdea what yur talkin’ about, Pinkie,” the mare said as she gently removed herself from her friends embrace. “Besides, Ah dun have got no time tah go to tah dentist with all these trees that need buckin’.”
The party pony held up her hooves in exasperation as she pleaded to her friend. “But A.J., you sound so weird that I can’t even understand half of what you are saying. How are you going to sell apples like this?”
“Are yah tryin’ tah pull a prank on me? That’s jus mah accent, yah know that durn well,” Applejack said as stared at her friend with a frown on her face.
“Of course I know your accent, A.J, its super fun,” The pink pony put a hoof on her friends shoulder. “But that’s not an accent, that’s a speech impediment. You really should get that looked at.”
Okay, okay! I get the hint. I’ll tone the accent down.
“Ssssh, voice!” The baker pony quickly turned around as she seemingly chastised an innocent apple tree. “I wasn’t talking to you. I’m trying to help Applejack.”
“Are you hearin’ voices again, Pinkie?” A look of concern was on the farm ponies face as she observed the unusual behavior of her friend. Well, more unusual than was normal for Pinkie.
The pink mare gasped in joy as she looked back at her friend. “You’re all better again! That’s great,” she said as she jumped up in joy. “Now we can go bake an apple pie together, or maybe twenty. It will be so much fun!”
“I’m sorry, Pinkie, but I’m really busy today.” The farmer pony gestured with her hoof to the hundreds of trees that were still filled with ripe apples, ready for the picking. “I need to get all these trees done by the end of this week. So I really don’t have any time to hang out today.” The mare gave a tired smile as she looked at her friend. “Maybe we can do something fun together next week.”
“Oh, that’s okay. Are you sure that you don’t need help?” The baker gave a smile as she offered her assistance and was already moving to one of the trees, ready to help out her friend.
The orange pony would have none of it, however, as she guided her friend away from the tree. “Don’t you worry about nothin’, sugarcube. I can handle this on my own.” She waved Pinkie goodbye as her friend trotted away with an unsure look on her face. “You go out and have fun. I wouldn’t ask a friend to help on her free day.”
“Well, if you are really sure that I can’t help…” The pink mare let her words hang in the air for a while.
The farmer just shook her head as she gently nudged her friend away from the numerous empty baskets. “I’m sure. I can handle this on my own, trust me.”
“Well, okay, see you soon, A.J.” The mare beamed a smile as she happily trotted away, leaving her friend to her work.
Wait. Seriously? Aren’t you going to help her?
“Well, I would love to help her, but she looked like she had the situation under control.”
But… but I was planning on a whole conflict between you and Applejack. You guys were going to argue and you would help her secretly so that she wouldn’t overwork herself. It was going to be perfect!
“That’s silly.” The mare giggled as she slowly saw the numerous brightly colored houses of her town appear behind the hill she was walking on. “Ever since last apple buck season and that whole weird cider competition, Applejack knows that she count on us when she really needs help. Last month she even asked all of us to raise the dozenth barn the Apples were building this year.”
Well, okay. If you’re sure.
“I’m pretty sure that I’m sure about being sure.” The inhabitants of Ponyville didn’t even look up anymore as Pinkie Pie was seemingly talking to herself. Word of her latest quirk had quickly spread across town as an amusing, if a bit disconcerting, story.
Sure, whatever. Hey! I have an idea! How about you go visit Twilight? I’m positive that you two can have an interesting adventure.
The baker mulled the idea over for a bit as she browsed the several wares that were stalled out all over the market place. “Nah. I think that I want to visit Fluttershy, or maybe Rarity. I haven’t seen them in two days.”
The mare gasped as she realized what she had said. “Ohmygosh! That’s like, ten days in friendship years! What if they think that I don’t want to be their friend anymore?” Pinkie stomped her hoof on the ground with a determined look on her face. “It’s a plan! I’m going to them right now!”
I really think that that isn’t-
“Sssh!” The very rude mare cut off the voice’s suggestion as she began to run. “Can’t you see that my friends need me!?”
Pink hooves carried the pony over several streets, through small alleyways, and corridors as the pony sped to her fashionable friend’s boutique. But no matter what route Pinkie took, or how long she looked, she always seemed take a wrong turn just before she could see the large and excessively decorated shop of her friend.
“This is weird,” the mare said with an almost shaking voice. “How could I forget where Rarity’s house is? I never forget something that’s this important.” The mare shook her head as if to forcefully obtain the location of Rarity’s house by harassing her brain enough.
The baker gave a small, uncertain smile as she stopped the futile exercise. “You’re right! This is pointless. I’ll go ask Fluttershy to help me find Rarity.” The pink mare disappeared in a flash as she ran to her shy friend’s cottage.
No! No! You can’t go there. I didn’t even prepare for this. Don’t-
Pinkie gasped, this time not in surprise, but horror, as she reached the place where her friend’s house was. Or was supposed to be. There was nothing at the end of the trail that Pinkie had walked a thousand times before. Literally nothing.
No cottage, no Everfree Forest, no Fluttershy.
I… uhm… I can explain this. No need to worry.
“Where is my friend!” the pink menace screamed into the great white void that surrounded the entire village.
Now now, there is no need to be upset. Just go to Twilight, have a fun adventure, and I’ll take care of this small oversight. It’s really all your fault if you think about it rationally. I did tell you not to come here.
“I’m not moving from this place until you tell me what you did to Fluttershy and Rarity!” The insufferable pony sat down on her rump as she crossed her front hooves, looking into the nothingness with a frown.
Look, be reasonable. I’ll fix this whole mess if you just listen to me.
Pinkie simply huffed and somehow managed to look away from the omnipresent voice.
As by a miracle, our pink protagonist suddenly materialized in the local library. “Hey! Stop cheating and tell me what you did to my friends!” The mare was furious as she searched for the source of her problems.
“Hey Pinkie! I didn’t see you come in.” Twilight Sparkle greeted her friend for behind a book that was nearly half her size. Several other books lay opened on the ground next to inkpots and notebooks filled with Twilight’s neat and clear handwriting.
“I’m a bit busy at the moment with a very important research project that princess Celestia herself asked me to do.” The librarian puffed up her chest in pride as she said this. “I’ve been with my nose in the books all day. So, unless it’s an emergency, you should ask Spike to help you find your books.”
The baker grabbed her friend with her shoulders as she pushed the gigantic book away. “Twilight! This is super super super serious!” The mare was mere inches away from the very surprised librarian’s face. “I can’t find Rarity or Fluttershy, and I think that there is an evil invisible spirit that did something to them!”
Hey, I heard that!
The insanely rude mare simply ignored the voice as she continued to plead to her friend. “Please, Twilight, you have to help them. Who knows what is happening to them right now.”
The purple mare laughed nervously as she gently pushed her friend out of her breathing space. “Pinkie, you worry too much. I was just at Rarity’s home an hour ago and she was doing fine.”
The way too paranoid for her own good pony seemed relieved when she heard her friend’s reassuring words. “Well, I guess that it’s possible that I somehow got lost on the way to Rarity,” Pinkie rushed into the librarians personal space again as she continued speaking. “But that still doesn’t explain what happened to Fluttershy! Or her house! Or the rest of the world around Ponyville!”
“Come on, Pinkie,” the purple mare said with a concerned smile on her face. “That’s ridiculous. The rest of the world couldn’t simply stop existing. Listen to yourself for a moment.” She placed a hoof on her friend’s shoulder as she continued her speech. “Look, I think that you just had a very realistic nightmare. That happens all the time.” The mare laughed. “I know that I one day went to my teacher in tears because I had dreamed that I had delivered an assignment too late. It seemed so real at the time.”
The pink mare was on the verge of crying as she heard the words of disbelieve from one of her most trusted friends. “Twilight. Please believe me.” She held out her hooves in a begging gesture as she looked her friend straight in the eyes.
The mare looked uncomfortably away from her friend’s sad eyes. “Look, Pinkie, I believe that you think that it’s real, but what is more likely? That you had a bad dream, or that the world ended without anyone noticing?” The purple mare sighed as the baker began to pout and a few actual tears ran down her cheeks. “Okay. I want you to go to Fluttershy’s cottage again, and if it still isn’t there then I will cast every spell that can help you, okay?”
The wise and rational mare gave Pinkie a small hug as she stopped talking. Pinkie used her hooves to dry her tears as she smiled with a bit more confidence at the librarian. “Okay, maybe you are right Twilight. I hope that you are right.”
The baker trotted to the door, ready to dash to the cottage of her animal loving friend to reassure herself, when she suddenly stood still with her hoof on the door.
“Just wait a tick.” She turned her head to look back at her friend and pointed an accusing hoof at her. “You just said that you’ve been studying all day. How did you have time to visit Rarity?”
The purple mare stumbled back, kicking over a few books, as she heard the condemning words of her friend. “Well, there is a perfectly rational explanation for that.” Sweat drops started to form on Twilight’s face as she searched for words. “You see… I… uhm…”
Enough! I’ve seriously had it with you! Pointing out plot holes, saying that things aren’t canon, and all your complaining about my characterization! Do you have any idea how hard I tried to get everyone right? You don’t even appreciate it, do you?
“That isn’t Twilight, is it?” The unreasonably critical pony approached the purple shell that was standing motionless in front of her. Like a doll whose strings had been cut.
She is as much like your friend as I could make her.
“What about the others?” That stupid horse continued complaining as she again questioned and second guessed everything.
The same.
“Why are you doing this? Give me my friends back!” The mare actually growled as she tried to threaten the voice.
Look, okay, I’ve been a bit of an jerk. Just cooperate with me and everything will be fine. I promise. Just give me what I want and nothing bad will happen. I’m not even asking for much, just a small adventure with your friends.
“These things aren’t my friends!” Pinkie prodded the lifeless construct in front of her. “It was just you talking through these things, wasn’t it? Give me back my friends right now before I throw confetti so hard at you that you’ll look like a birthday for a week!”
Why are you making such a big deal out of this? I even made Fluttershy’s cottage for you, with all the animals. And you should see how I created Rarity’s boutique; it came out way nicer than I thought. Look, I’ll even let you decide what the adventure is going to be about.
“No!” The difficult mare, whose parents probably kicked her out of their house because she was such a bother, refused the extremely generous offer that was given her. “That’s not true! My parents love me. And I’m not doing a thing you say! I’m just going to sit here until my friends come and save me.” The childish thing even stuck out her tongue as she defied the voice.
Pinkie, let me ask you a question.
The baker put her hooves against her ears as she sat on the ground and closed her eyes.
You can’t keep me away that easily. I’m in your head. But that’s beside the point. Have you ever read a book? Don’t answer that, the look in your eyes says enough. Well, have you ever wondered about what happens to the characters when a book ends?
The mare opened her eyes, but still refused to answer.
That’s right. Nothing! They fade away into the void, lost. Now tell me, pony, do you want to disappear?
“That isn’t true! I’m real and so are my friends. You are going to be so sorry when they hear about all this.”The pink mare’s behavior completely changed as she seemed to have a sudden realization. “We can still be friends you know? I’m sure that there are dozens of ponies that would love it if you created awesome adventures for them.”
I don’t want that. I already put way too much work into this to introduce another pony. No, we are going to do this whether you like it or not. Now get up and go have an adventure.
Pinkie frowned at the voice’s refusal. “No, not until I can get back to my friends.” The mare stomped her hoof on the ground, accidentally kicking over an inkpot that stained the books under her.
…
Fine! I’m stopping this. This is way too much trouble. Good luck with finding out how real you really are.
The baker gasped as the library around her slowly started to disappear. Books fell down from disintegrating bookcases and exploded into dust before they even hit the ground. A large white void consumed the library until all that was left was a small pink pony with a determined look on her face.
Last chance to change your mind. I’m stopping now.
The mare didn’t answer as she floated in the void. Smiling as she waited for her friend to rescue her.
Really, no turning back now.
Okay, you know what? We can still go on and have that adventure with Rainbow Dash. There will be lots of laughing and fun. And there will be a party at the end! You like parties, right? Of course you do, you’re Pinkie Pie the party pony. Come on, we can still make this adventure work!
… fine! Be like that.
The End! There!
