The Chronicles of Princess Molestia

Cakelestia

On most days, the royal Canterlot palace could always be found with ponies bustling about; guards and servants all accompanying the majestic Princess Celestia to whatever duties she may have on the agenda for that evening. Or there were diplomats from other nations seeking an audience with her to discuss politics between kingdoms. Whatever the case, Canterlot palace always kept a hectic pace ‘round the clock. But once in a blue moon of Luna’s, there would come a day where no royal business was scheduled for the evening. The entirety of the palace could be found in a state of rest: the chefs portioning out the ingredients for whatever recipes were called for, the cleaning staff dusting off the statues adorning the hallways, and other servants finding menial tasks to keep them busy, and therefore keep their salary in check. Aside from the small maintenance taking place, the building would have no urgent matters taking place inside its walls.

On rare days like these, the princess usually secluded herself within her bedchambers, stepping out occasionally to stretch her legs or to take a stroll through the palace as a routine check for upkeep of her home. Otherwise, neither hide nor hair was seen of her. Two guard ponies would be posted outside her doors as per usual cautionary measures. The two appointed would have the demeanor of statues, not once speaking or moving while keeping watch.

“…Ahem.” The guard on the left of the door cleared his throat abruptly.

“Something wrong, Lieutenant Haselrig?” the guard on the right asked.

“Sorry Lieutenant Cromwell, but… are we allowed to talk at all?”

Cromwell rolled his eyes at the question. “If you’d paid attention to your reference guide, you’d know that according to Royal Guard tradition any and all conversation is forbidden while keeping watch over the princess’s quarters.” Haselrig winced then focused his eyes to the front. “But to be honest with you… I don’t think our princess is going to pitch a fit that two guards bored out of their skulls held a small conversation outside her door.” The guard he spoke to sighed in relief, chuckling at his words. “What’s on your mind?”

“I just kind of think it’s weird.” Haselrig shifted his eyes to the side, not wanting to break his stance more than he needed to. “Princess Celestia is such a friendly mare with everypony she interacts with. Why does she lock herself in her room on such a beautiful day like this?”

Cromwell smirked and nodded his head. “I guess some might think that strange. But look at it this way.” He turned his head to the side to meet Haselrig’s gaze and connect with him a bit easier. “Being princess of an entire nation is an all day job. You don’t get to punch-out at the end of the day, go home to soak your hooves and fall asleep when you feel like it. Everything is scheduled for her; meals, baths, even relaxation are on a constrictive schedule. And whenever she does go out to enjoy herself, protocol stipulates that she is accompanied by guards such as us wherever she goes. So on a day with nothing scheduled, can you really blame her for wanting to saunter around and do nothing all day?”

The rookie lieutenant laughed softly. “When you put it that way, I’d probably be happy to have a day all to myself. But, what do you think she does in there all day?”

“I don’t know. But it’s not really any of our business, we- hey, look sharp, something’s coming.”

Snapping back to attention, the two guards observed a large object being pushed slowly towards them. Once it was in front of them, a gray colt with a lavender mane adorned in postal office attire poked his head out from behind. “Um… package for the princess?” His voice while deep was saturated in apprehension before the two guards.

“State the contents of the package.”

“I really can’t do that.” He replied meekly. “Postal service guidelines state that we don’t intrude on the privacy of the customer. I’m not even sure what it is, so I couldn’t tell you if I wanted to.”

“That package isn’t getting through these doors until we know exactly what it is. Even if it wasn’t your intent, it could be something dangerous. Like poison, or a bomb, or-”

“My cake!” Princess Celestia bellowed, bursting through the doors and flattening both guards against the wall. “Oh, it’s finally here; I’m so happy!” The doors swung away from the walls, Haselrig swaying back and forth in a daze and Cromwell holding his head with his eyes shut in pain. “Oops! Sorry boys…”

“Ugh, that’s quite all right, your majesty.” Cromwell shook his head to clear up any stars he might still be seeing. “Wait, so you’ve been expecting this package? Pardon me for asking, but why was it not passed through us? We need to make preparations for things like these, for your safety.”

The princess pursed her lips before she spoke. “I just wanted to ask for something on my own, for once. I get so frustrated with having others handle my mail, and this was something I wanted delivered to me without getting passed around by everypony else in my employment. I mean, just look at it…” the princess’s horn lit up with magic as she forced the box open, revealing the inner contents. The two guards and the mail pony stood in awe of its presence.

Inside of the case there was a giant confectionary tower composed of marzipan mascarpone meringue cake. The sides of each layer were adorned with an enormous amount of exceptionally exquisite chocolate éclairs. The tops of the middle layers were stacked with an assortment of sprinkled and frosted donuts. A crown of velvety chocolate mousse shaped appropriately in the head of a moose rested at the summit of the dessert.

“I… I can’t believe it!” Haselrig said in awe as he gazed upon the towering cake. “That was the cake that won the Canterlot National Dessert Competition! It was made by chefs from all over Equestria. How in the world…?”

“Oh, it was easy.” The princess scoffed, raising a hoof to her mouth. “I offered all of them a stay in my reserved estates. If shelling out some royal retreats for a few days means getting a cake of this caliber in return, it’s quite worth it! Well gentlecolts, I’ll be taking this. Thank you for the delivery!”

“Your highness.” The mail pony acknowledged her, bowing as she levitated the cake into her room, shutting the doors once she entered. “So uh, could I get one of you to sign for that?”

“Oh, of course.” Cromwell was presented with a quill and parchment. He took the quill into his mouth and signed near the bottom of the page. With the transaction completed, the colt nodded his head and bid them both farewells. As he made his way out, the doors crept open once again as Princess Celestia poked her head out.

“Oh, and you’re both dismissed. You don’t need to guard my door right now.”

“Your majesty, we can’t do that.” Haselrig told her. “Official guidelines state-“

“I know what they state.” The princess cut him off, somewhat annoyed.

“Then you understand we can’t just forsake our guard duties, even if you’re requesting us to.”

“Okay, fine. But do you think you could keep watch a little further away from the doors? Like, over there?” she gestured towards the end of the hallway.

Haseilrig looked to his superior, unsure of what action to take. Cromwell thought to himself for a moment. “Well, I suppose we could do that. We are still keeping watch on you that way.”

“Thank you. It means a lot to me. Keep up the great work.” She gently shut the doors after she pulled her head back inside. With a confused look on their faces, the two guards trudged along the hallway, putting a good deal of space between themselves and the doors.
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After shutting them behind her, Princess Celestia turned with her back against the doors. Finally. Now I don’t have to worry about either of them hearing me. She thought to herself. Her expression turned from one of worry to one of enticement as she eyed the marzipan éclair donut mousse madness in front of her. “Oh, don’t think I forgot about you, sweetie.” The alicorn said out loud to nopony in particular. She was completely alone in her room, just herself and that massive, delicious cake: It was just the two of them.

There was something that the princess didn’t share with most ponies, not even her most faithful student Twilight Sparkle. Although most ponies in Equestria enjoyed a diet composed of confectionary sweets, the princess absolutely loved cake. She had a passion for it. Just from the taste alone, she could tell all sorts of things about a cake and the history behind it: what country it hailed from, what type of character the chef preparing it had; she could even tell how long it had been since it was baked. She enjoyed most of her foods with a degree of royal demeanor to keep up a good appearance, but she had to take extra special care to keep her composure when she ate cake in public, so as to not make a complete fool of herself… as had been done recently.

Her younger sister, Princess Luna, had decided to play a nasty prank on her. Princess Celestia had sworn off of cake for a month to try and lose some weight (she felt that her royal flank had been growing a bit in size recently). Nearing the end of the month, she felt confident that she would pull out ahead in this bet. One day, she decided to take a walk in the palace gardens. There she had stumbled upon it: a large pile of cakes, so many different slices of flavors: Germane chocolate cake, Manehattan Cheesecake, simnel cake, mooncake (oh, Luna had such a cruel sense of humor!) all piled there with nopony else in sight to watch over them. The solar princess’s stomach grumbled as she looked upon them, her teeth clenched in dread. She sprinted over to them hastily; looking to and fro to make sure that nopony was watching her. Grabbing the nearest slice, she opened her mouth wide to prepare for the first bite. At that moment, a light flashed in front of her: she wasn’t sure what it was, but the smell of the dessert in front of her made her put it out of her mind. All it took was one bite, one sweet and satisfying bite, and the princess lost herself in a frenzy of self-indulgence. Her memory sort of went fuzzy afterwards.

It wouldn’t be until a few days later that the princess learned what the flash of light had been; three schoolfillies going under the guise of Gabby Gums, who had used her moment of weakness to print out a story for their school newspaper. She was so embarrassed by what had been exposed! Luckily her subjects were mostly kind-hearted souls, and didn’t spend their time making fun of her. But she knew what they were thinking when they looked at her. On the day that she had first seen the modified MMMM cake, she felt such a burning desire for it. Licking her lips as she gazed upon its glory, it took every bit of strength for her not to jump into it and devour it all at once (luckily Pinkie Pie had done so before she could get the chance). Twilight had saved her a small slice before it had been destroyed, but when she leaned in to take a bite, she couldn’t help but feel like all the ponies around were snickering at her.

There’s our princess, getting her cake fix again. They must have been thinking. Didn’t know her majesty was such a cake fiend! She really ought to get some professional help for that. She could feel her eyes sting as she took small nibbles of the slice, a feeling of guilt overcoming her with each bite. She was so worried by what everypony thought of her, that she couldn’t even finish it and threw the slice away. Her heart hadn’t hurt that much in many centuries.

But that day was gone. No more need for worry. Nopony else could ruin this moment for her. Just the two of them: the princess… and her dessert.

“I’ll be with you in just a moment.” She said to the cake out loud. “Just let me make myself a little more… comfortable.” Using her magic, the majestic alicorn levitated her golden tiara off of her head, letting her magical flowing mane come loose. After her golden broach was slipped over her head, she shook her hair from side to side so that it lost all of its composure. Now, instead of majestically being cast to one side, it instead illustriously hung from both sides of her. “Ah, so much better. Wait right there dear, just need to grab a little something.” She illuminated her horn again and out of the bottom of her dresser came a knife and plate that flew towards the cake in front of her. “I promise I’ll be gentle…” She rested the knife onto the side and took a deep breath before she commanded her magic to press down. She bit her lip in excitement as she could hear the soft squish of the blade penetrating the surface of the cake, until it reached the bottom of the layer. She raised the knife and repeated the motion, until a nice and compact slice had been formed. Clapping her hooves together, she moved the plate in front of her face and gazed at the slice affectionately. Her eyes melted as she stared at the inside of the slice, its moist and tender green layers just begging to be ravished.

“Oh my goodness.” The sun princess uttered, feeling her heart beat a bit quicker as she surveyed its beauty. “I… I think I’m in love.” She closed her eyes and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on the slice of cake. She smiled as she felt its sweet frosted topping meet her lips. She began to move her white lips into it, letting her slender tongue slip out into the slice and dance around, causing it to lose its form and fall around her tongue. Then she instinctively began to purse her lips back so that her teeth could properly scrape the pieces of the delicious treat inside of her mouth. “Mmm…” she uttered as she savored the sweet taste. “The name that Pinkie gave it is so fitting. Mmm…” she rolled the dessert in her mouth for a moment, before she eventually swallowed. She sank her head in and quickly scooped up the remaining bites, licking the plate of its crumbs once they were all gone.

“Thank you, sir.” she whispered, looking at the rest of the green confectionary tower with a burning passion. “May I have another?” she hurriedly pressed the knife down to form another slice for her plate. She raised her hoof to the top of the slice, moving it around so that it picked up a good amount of frosting. Licking her hoof gently, she then tilted her head upwards and ran it down her chest. It left a trail of frosting down her front, all the way down to her royal nether regions. She could feel her teeth clench in excitement as her hoof hovered over her most sensitive spot, anticipating the sensation she was about to experience. Closing her eyes, she pressed into herself firmly. “Ah!” She squealed in delight at the feeling. The wet and cooling feel of frosting smeared itself over her lips, which secreted their own type of frosting in return to mix with what was already down there. She pushed her hoof into the folds of her passage, lathering up a good mixture of frosting and juice. She was careful not to push too hard and cause herself some unnecessary pain (hooves could only go so far and do so much for a mare, unfortunately). With her hoof promptly wet with the solution of herself and the cake, she hungrily lapped up the sweet mixture resting on her hoof. “Oh, this taste!” The princess hastily carved another slice out of the tower and flew it in between her legs, letting it brush up against her labia gently. Her eyes rolled up in pleasure as she took a bite out of the slice she had previously been hoofing.

“Om nom nom, ah yeth!” Princess Celestia cried out with a mouth full of dessert. “It’th so amathing!” As the slice beneath her rubbed lovingly against her marehood, she could feel her inner thighs becoming drenched as a result of her stimulation. Geez, I always get unusually wet down there. I hope it’s not a medical problem. Finishing off the slice in front of her, she raised the slice underneath her, now layered in her own juices. She placed her tongue upon the surface and lapped up some of her fluids, licking it all across her lips seductively. She then took a large chomp out of it and munched happily as she felt her legs shake and quiver beneath her, making a great wet mess upon the floor.

It only took another quick chomp until the slice was finished. She placed her hooves upon her stomach as she felt it rumble when she examined the remaining cake. Am I still hungry? The princess thought to herself. How many more slices is it going to take? She looked at the knife levitating beside her… and then immediately sent it flying away from her, the blade piercing the wall as the handle stood outright. “Mine!” she shouted, jumping up and tackling the cake to the floor, making a huge splat as it made contact with the ground. The substance covered Princess Celestia’s coat and mane in chocolaty frosting filled marzipan cakey goodness. Bracing her forelegs and hindlegs on either sides of the confectionary treat, her beautiful tail swished beneath her, gathering up some creamy green frosting before it instinctively rose into the air in traditional mating position. With her royal alicorn flankhole and labia exposed for any and all to see, she scooted her hips up to the center of the cake and rocked her pelvis into it passionately. Her passionate bucking forced a layer of moist green cake to smear across her inner thighs which were already wet with her own desire. She cried out in bliss with each thrust, letting her marehood smear up into the wet and messy frosting.

Somehow during the frenzy, her rump had backed up into one of the éclairs that had fallen off of the sides. She whimpered in bliss as she gently pushed it deeper inside of her, careful not to let its delicate form smash under the force of her great flank. She lit her horn up to lend it some reinforcement, sliding it up and down her narrow passage. As it gently scraped against her inner walls, she arched her back as a result of the gratification it provided her. “Oh, yes!” she exclaimed as she slapped a hoof against her left cheek, feeling it jiggle from the tender assault. Looking downwards, she found one of the sprinkled donuts resting over a glob of chocolate mousse. She bent her head down and placed a wet kiss upon the surface, inserting her tongue into the round donut hole and lapping up the creamy mousse underneath it. All the while she continued to rub her own rump intricately. Using her magic to stimulate herself and moving her body so frantically was proving to be an exhausting task, as she raised her head to catch her breath.

“Oh, oh my, oh my!” she cried out, her eyes shut and her mouth hanging open. “I love you, my sweet! I want to be your bride!” she knelt her head down and licked up a mess of frosting underneath her face, smacking it in her lips and relishing in the taste. She didn’t care how messy things were at this point. She didn’t care if she’d have to explain to the maids what they were cleaning up, or if she’d have to do the cleaning herself. All that mattered was that she was with the thing she loved more than anything in the world. She raised her upper body and let her forelegs dangle in front of her chest, letting the confectionary dessert take control of her. She knew in the back of her mind that it wasn’t a living being, but for the sake of her pleasure she imagined that it was. She wanted for one moment to think that maybe this cake loved her just as much as she loved it. “Oh please take me!” she cried out, her mane covered in chocolate mousse draped over her eyes. Her harmonious moaning echoed throughout the room as her heart was filled to the brim with love and desire.

Her legs began to shake violently as she rocked herself back and forth. “Oh, here it comes!” she yelled out excitedly, hunching over and wrapping her forelegs around the pile of cake mashed on the floor. She wiggled her frosting covered rump back and forth as that tingly zest built quickly within her and neared its peak; she strengthened her magic to speed up the rhythm of the eclair, letting it slide in and out of her wet lips hastily. “It’s coming, I can feel it! Oh, and it’s a big one! Right there- right there- right there- right- right- ohhhh, almooooost therrrrrre!” she braced her hips back as much as she could, trying to force all of her strength into building up the strongest climax she’d ever felt with nopony else around.

At that moment, a large magical spark burst out behind her as a smaller dark alicorn appeared. “Tia, if you aren’t too busy, would you- AHHHH!” Princess Luna’s royal Canterlot voice took over instinctively as she witnessed her sister pleasuring herself in the most confusing way she could imagine.

“L-L-Luna!? Ohhh~! Ahhh~!” Though her concentration had been broken, Celestia’s orgasm had achieved its intended level at last. Letting out a high-pitched whinny, she released a torrent of wetness out of her lips and drenched what was left of the marzipan cake underneath her. She let out several deep gasps as her body contracted and her muscles tried to relax from all of the stimulation they had gone through. Panting for breath, she gazed at Luna out of the corner of her eye, clearly horrified at what she had just witnessed of her older sister.

“Are… are you… is that cake?” Luna asked, clearly still trying to come to grips with the situation before her.

Celestia made no attempt to cover herself up at this point. Her tail still hung lazily to the side exposing her private bits to her sister behind her. “What do you want, little sister?” she asked, sounding rather annoyed.

Luna levitated a plate next to her, a half-eaten slice of chocolate cake accompanied by an uneaten slice resting on top of it. She forced herself to close her hanging jaw before she spoke. “I was going to ask you… if you wanted some cake.”

I'd like to thank my proofreaders quillsaga, farnsworth hoovington, Karrakaz, and ExtraExtraPie for helping me clean up this story that started out so messily in grammar and syntax, and ended up messy only in content. And I'd like to thank those of you who still manage to find your reading eyes to these silly clops of mine. Now go wash your hooves, dears!
~Cloperella