Just a little Payne

by bronys unite

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Adventure, Tragedy
Length: 2337

Max Payne in Equestria hired by a cretain princess for a guard job

When walking from the bar on the beach the UFE return with a vengeance and attack him at his small beach hut in a mad attempt to kill him, which they almost succeeded in until a divine intervention saves Max and drags him into the overly colorful world of ponies to which he is hired for a protection detail, but he uncovers a darker side to the truth of this supposed innocent world.
Sex is him going into a pony version of a stripper club
Violence is… well obvious

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-31 00:55:47 UTC

I was tired of the chair and pissing it off was my best option

Life is worth Living Max

That's what Passos and Marcelo had told me

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Now I was once again far away from a home I couldn't return to and forced to live in this cursed world of ponies. I was tied to a chair my black pants and shirt with a vest both ruined by rips and tears and multiple bandages placed here and there from an over caring pony, specks of blood spread over my face and caught in my beard that had more grey in it than usual. All the while being interrogated by some sort of thing that I thought I knew, but it was all a lie, a show put on for a ponies jealousy.

"I asked you a question Max, where are they!!" It shouted again becoming angrier with each word it said to me.

"Like I've said before FUCK YOU!!" I yelled wanting her to leave so my plans could come into play, these words only made it slap me once again with a golden clad hoof, my jaw should’ve snapped but it wasn’t the hardest she could hit.

"Max I've had enough of this just tell me where they are." It asked again this time in a calm voice the same voice sh- it used to persuade its mindless ponies enslaved by the mare’s image it used.

"Fine, but if I'm telling this tale I'm starting from the beginning." I said it only nodded content with my answer.

"It all started when I was teleported to this hell about -"

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I was walking away from the bar, content with what had happened and heading towards the hammock that I had set up a bit ago I was going to take a nap, relax for a while longer and wait until dark before I took the short walk to my hut. I was deep in thought when I started to get into the hammock I saw the sun nearing the horizon casting a beautiful orange tint across the sky and in return the water. A few lazy clouds also being illuminated by the sun making them a little shaded by the tint of the sun while I hung lazily in my hammock covered by the shade which made the area a little cooler. I then sat my beer down on the table next to me and took my sun glasses off and placed them next to the beer and then I placed my hat on top of the glasses. I then lowered my duffel bag of money down beside me, then I kicked my flip-flops off next to the duffel bag and moved the bag on top of them. Then I kicked back and relaxed and began to doze off completely oblivious to the men watching me from afar...

The bartender at some point had come over to wake me up from my small time in heaven, I wasn't even haunted by a nightmare of sorts, “Sir you might want to wake up its getting pretty dark." I woke up with the bar tender shaking my arm with gentle hands I opened my eyes to be met with a beautiful night sky, stars making patterns and a bright full moon, then I glanced down at the elderly man his skin with a dark tan and wrinkled in some spots from age.

"Thank you sir." I replied calmly before yawning and hastily grabbing my things off the table, I left the beer, then I looked down and saw my duffel bag still there I moved it to the side and slipped my feet into the flip-flops and grabbed the duffel bag and placed the strap on my shoulder. Then stood up and reached into my pocket and checked to see if the music player was still there, I pulled it out and remembered how I had received it. Da Silva had given it to me saying that I needed to get with the modern day technology. I'm fairly positive he just wanted to watch me get aggravated trying to figure out how to turn the damned thing on, until he showed me how it worked. Then gave me headphones to listen to it with, they were currently in my duffel bag.

I then opened my duffel bag and did a quick inventory it held money I had gotten from the job and my headphones, I then pulled out the headphones and plugged them into the slot in the music player. I then started scrolling through the music and clicked on, "Late Goodbye." The song brought back buried, but welcomed memories of Mona Sax the second and last woman I had fallen for, before Vlad killed her. I had learned a lesson from her though that lesson was lost with years of anger and hate. I then glanced up towards the sky a smile of remembrance threatening to break through my usual grim visage. The sky was clear allowing a breath taking view of the mysterious mistress known has the night with her strange yet compelling beauty and the constellations aligning in the smooth black velvet that made the night sky. Though all good things come to an end and so did this.

I arrived at my hut a few moments later and pulled the key from one of the lower pockets on my light cargo shorts my plaid shirt wrinkling across my sunburned back causing a slight pain from the sensitive flesh. I welcomed it though has I grabbed my key and pulled it out looking at its surface has it glittered in the moonlight shining like some sort of treasure. I then inserted it into the dark lock turning the key and hearing the click of the lock mechanisms unlocking the door. I opened the door and kicked off my flip-flops then walked inside I hastily made my across the rather clean room and into my room. I then saw my two M1911's sitting next to both of the holsters I had one made of worn leather and another one made of some newer material resting on the wooden bedside table. I crouched down and opened the cabinet on the bedside table and grabbed a bottle of painkillers along with a bottle of whiskey... some habits die hard. So had this one, with a sigh I put the whiskey back and placed the pain killers on top of the bedside table.

I then sat down in the bed and looked at the other bedside table behind me and saw the pictures of my wife and along with it a picture of Mona I still can't figure out who I would chose if I could bring one of them back to life. I crawled over to it and grabbed both pictures I took them out of their wooden frames and held them just above my lap has I looked down at them old memories began swarming my head. I then caught a whiff of myself, I truly needed a shower I put the pictures down and walked into the bathroom and prepared a shower. When the water had reached a warm enough temperature I stepped in and used the fancy hotel soaps.

A few minutes later I stepped out and dried off with one of the many towels and draped it around my waste I then looked at myself in the mirror. There were multiple scars across my chest made from bullets a long time ago then there was the one on my left arm which was one of my newer ones in the collection, then there was my beard which was groomed rather nicely, then there were the wrinkles of age on my face and stress lines sitting above my eyebrows. I tiredly rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and walked back into my room and put on a fresh pair of briefs and a wife beater. I then pulled the covers down and laid under them I then pulled them up to my chest rolled onto my side and closed my eyes then started to drift off into the dark abyss of sleep.

I awoke a couple of hours later to the sounds of gunshots I quickly rolled out of bed and grabbed twenty-two magazines for my M1911's and my worn leather holster and placed the M1911's in it and then I put on a pair of lightly tanned cargo pants and quickly placed the magazines in their corresponding locations around my hips. I loaded my guns and opened the door to my room and waited for them to kick down the door. I waited for what felt like an eternity until finally the sound of the door being kicked in resounded through the room I then leaned out of the doorway I was in and pulled the triggers on my gun a total of two times, each bullet hit the man in his head and made a large quantity of blood fly from the wound and splatter on the floor. I was then greeted by the heartwarming site of an armor wearing gang member of the Cracha Preto.

"Não é Max Payne matar a cadela." The man shouted, I could only imagine what it meant, but has he finished it more armored people began to pour into the hut from the front. I grabbed the pictures on my bed and placed them into my left pocket knowing that I wasn't going to return to this hut.  Then the idea to get out through the back window hit me like a bullet. I quickly headed towards it silently hoping that no one would be there has I unlatched the locks and climbed out. My feet touched down in the sand silently, though the sand annoyingly worked its way between my toes.

My stealth factor was however ruined has one of them ran around the left corner and shouted, "Matá-lo matá-lo." I could only guess what that meant, I then began to retreat behind the opposite wall, but the bastard had got lucky and managed to hit me with one of his bullets. I could tell it was a higher caliber round by the mess it made it had most likely ripped a giant hole in my back has it exited. I could tell by the amount of blood that splattered and the searing pain.

I barely managed to get behind the corner but has I did I undid the lid of the painkillers and poured all six-hundred milligrams of the bottle into my mouth. I quickly chewed the pills and swallowed I felt the recoil of it has my vision blurred, though that fixed itself in a few short seconds. I then tossed the now empty bottle to the side feeling the most of the pain vanish, though it still hurt like hell.

I then pulled out my second M1911 and dove out of cover and saw a total of eight people who had also rounded the corner, I aimed for their heads and fired and most of the shots had connected and knocked their helmets off. I then quickly reloaded my guns and stood up, only to dive again only this time it was towards them I took aim again and fired each bullet connected with its target which caused blood to fly out of the back of their heads along with bits of skull. I quickly stood up and walked over to the bodies to inspect their gear I saw that one of them had a Rotary Grenade Launcher and the rest had a G6 Commando I took the Grenade Launcher the extra fire power would come in handy. I then looted the man’s pockets and found about ten more shots, so I had sixteen in total. I then went to the corner they came from and peeked around the corner only to lean back because of the amount of bullets that went flying by. There were multiple armor wearing gang members I could tell it was time to come up with another idea, I quickly decided on making a dive and firing like a mad man.

Before I could dive however a few of them had ran around the other corner and began to fire nearly all of the bullets hit their mark, but managed to fire back and hit them and unfortunately the explosion sent me flying through the air. I skid on the ground the armored men were readying their guns and preparing to fire, I would have stood but I couldn’t feel my legs during that moment. I aimed the Grenade Launcher at the armored thugs and pulled the trigger until it was empty. Each grenade exploded sending bits of what used to be a person, but was now a nothing but chunks of gore and blood. After the grenades had finished going off, the adrenaline had worn off and I could feel my legs the pain was excruciating and nearly caused me to scream in pain, but I held it in.

I then slowly got to my feet and began to limp towards one of their jeeps hoping that the keys were still inside. I was wrong, a man popped up from the driver seat and began to fire, each bullet going straight through my chest causing blood to splatter and fly through the air. As he stopped firing his gun the Grenade Launcher fell from my hands and clattered against the floor, echoing in my hears louder than any explosion could. I dropped to my knees my mouth filling with blood that I began to choke on I coughed it out before falling face first blood beginning to pool around me the darkness invading my vision once again, but this time I wouldn’t recover… Or so I thought.

Has my vision was fading a bright white light burned what was left of my vision and I felt like I was floating, but then unconsciousness took over.