Jumping Blind

Chapter 10: Reflections

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        Everyone passed through the door to the darkened hallway. I smiled a little as the group walked in front of me, oblivious to my change in appearance back to semi-human. “Welcome to my home everypony.”

“Why is it so dark?” Someone asked, I couldn’t make out the voice.

“I haven’t been here in a while. Why would I leave the lights on the entire time?” I stepped to the front, ignoring the confused looks. Rubbing my hands together I let a small stream of magic flow down to them, powering the increasing charge between them. I pulled them apart, grinning as static arced between them, and thrust them both upwards. Magic flooded through me and a bolt of electricity jumped from my hands to the hanging light above us.

With the lights back on, I could make out the surroundings. We were in a four-way intersection with halls leading off to the left, right, and front. I turned back to the group, shaking my head sadly when none of them looked impressed. Knew I should have done the ‘unlimited power’ thing…

“So…” I peered done each hall way realizing that I had no idea where I was. “Interesting, House must have changed the layout again.” I looked at the girls. “Pick a direction, any direction.”

“Up.” Pinkie said while throwing her forelegs up randomly.

“Ok then.” A voice similar to mine said, like the next note in a chord. The world spun momentarily and we were all on the ceiling looking at the floor above up. I glared at Purple as he walked down the left hallway to join us, hopping over a ceiling light on his way. He had decided to match my current form, five-eleven, tanned skin, unhealthily skinny, with naturally highlighted brown hair bringing out shades of orange and blonde. He also wore the same comfortable outfit of worn jeans while switching a black t-shirt for my white cotton one, grinning like a madman at us.

Spike jumped off of Twilight’s back and sprinted towards the second chimera, as much as his waddling gate would allow. “PURPLE!” He screamed midair.

Purple grabbed and swung the baby dragon up into the air to catch him on his shoulders. “Heya champ. You’re looking better than the last time I saw you.” He pulled an ice cream cone out of somewhere to hand to Spike. “I believe that I owe you this for behaving during our little jump.”

Spike took the offered treat and downed it in one bite. I gave up glaring and chuckled while stepping forward to shake his hand. “Purple, I see you’ve found the gravity controls. Again. I really need to hide those better.” He looked at the offered limb.

“What is this nonsense?” He glared at me. I gave him a clearly confused look and he grabbed my hand before pulling my into a tight hug. “Silly Grey.”

I rolled my eyes before turning to the group behind us. “Girls, Purple. Purple, girls, though you’ve met Pinkie and Fluttershy before.”

He shook each of their hooves, doing an insanely complicated hoofbump with Pinkie. “Hello everypony. I’m Purple.”

Spike rolled his eyes and Rainbow drifted forward to stare at his face. He stared right back, mimicking each of her movements in an exaggerated manner. He did so to the point where he had to open his wings and follow her into the air as she gained a little altitude.

“Whoa…” They gasped in awe, I just shrugged. It’s not like I hadn’t seen them before considering that they’re my wings.

“Wait just one second.” Twilight spoke while stepping past me to look at Purple, her eyebrows were creased together in concentration. We both had to stifle a chuckle. “I’ve seen that coloring before, and those eyes seem familiar too.”

I grinned from behind her, slowly opening my wings as well, much to the amusement of the others. Spike had to cover his mouth to stop his giggles. Purple landed in front of the librarian and counted down fingers. Three. Two. One.

Twilight spun around to face me, glaring at my outstretched wings. “You have the same coloring, your bodies and facial features are extremely similar if not the same too.”

Purple and I smiled at her before talking at the same time. “Of course Miss Sparkle.” We waved our hands in a circle while simultaneously scratching our chins. “Although such a phenomenon could be a coincidence, could it not?” We spoke in unison. We separated our movements and speech when Purple took a step to the left as I stepped back to allow Spike into the spotlight.

“He can make copies of himself. The copies are each a different color that matches what part of his personality they are.” The baby dragon explained to the group. Purple pulled out a professor’s pointing stick and a pair of glasses and gave them to the dragon.

Spike handed me the props. I put on the glasses and lightly hit Rainbow with the pointer to wake her up before picking up the explanation where he left off. “That isn’t to say that their characteristic is the only one that they can show. They each have their own quirks. It’s just their primary one.”

“Just like how Rainbow there normally acts off of her more brash personality quirks but she still can show nervousness and fear.” Purple finished tossing the items behind him, where they promptly detonated in a brilliant explosion of streamers and burning magnesium. We looked at each other.

“Chaos.” We said at the same time.

“It’s building again.” Purple warned. “We need to find a release.”

“Isn’t it just an addition to our normal magics? Or is it separate?” I asked. Don’t look at me like that. I may be talking to myself but he’s better at magical theory than I am.

“It’s neither. I’m not even sure it’s magic. Just be happy they aren’t reactive. We would have been chunks all over the throne room.”

I shot a smirk at him. “So, just like that time…” He shoved a hand firmly over my mouth.

“We aren’t talking about that, you know how Orange gets…”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get our aggressive side riled up, I know. Gods and Goddesses, I need a nap… It’s too early to be this tired and frustrated. Or late. I kind of lost track of time.” I rubbed my eyes before gesturing back at the group. “I’m taking the girls for a tour and I have no idea where anything is. Care to join us?”

He shook his head. “This layout is new to all of us too. House got bored is my guess. Besides, I have some more work to do. We have two new types of magic to study so I’m heading to the library then the lab. I think Orange is in the armory, Yellow is in wardrobe as usual, Green is either out on the grounds or in the library, he switches a lot, and Blue is in the reflection room. I think that’s everyone who’s active.”

I gave him a brief nod and sent him on his way, but not before he put us back on the ground. We watched as he walked away on the ceiling.

“Who was that?” Rainbow asked, rapidly followed by similar questions from everyone else. Surprisingly, Pinkie just waited patiently for them to calm down.

“He’s me, or rather I’m him.” I answered with a faked grin while getting the group to start moving, turning randomly at intersections.

“What the hay is that supposed to mean?” Rainbow growled angrily.

Pinkie appeared, just freaking appeared, on my head, though for some reason she didn’t seem to weigh anything. She gently patted Rainbow’s shoulder from her perch. “What he meant to say is that they are the same person, just different parts. Purple is his creativity and curiosity.” Pinkie hopped off and I nodded thankfully at her.

“A while back there was an incident that literally shattered my soul. Those are the shards from that incident.” I started walking, closed my eyes and pointed at a random mare. It was Rarity. “Your question?”

“So which one of you is the original?”

I thought that over for a bit while we walking in silence. Finally I spoke up, “None of us are. We were all changed after that incident. We were weakened and scattered across the multiverse, separated from each other. That’s why each of us has a separate personality and quirks; they were developed in different environments bringing out specific qualities. Purple was dropped in a magically intensive world, so he’s better at magic than the rest of us. Luckily the inhabitants were friendly. Some of us weren’t so lucky…” I shivered a bit at that.

“Which one are you then?” Fluttershy quietly asked from the back of the group.

I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“You said that each one is has a color and a specific characteristic, which one is yours?” She seemed a bit more confident when the rest of the group nodded to her.

“Our eye colors reflect which personality it is. We also differentiate each other by color which is why Purple is called Purple. What color does that make me?”

“Grey, but there aren’t any characteristics associated with that color, are there?” Twilight answered again.

“Not really. Grey is just a series of combinations, black and white, the mix and the absence of all colors. Just like how I’m the combination of the reflections but separate as well. Usually they’re all in my head unless they need to be out, but this place sustains them without draining me. They like to stretch out when we’re here. And before you ask, I have absolutely no idea if they’re here while I’m gone. I still haven’t found any evidence either way.”

“Where’d ya’ come from then?”  Applejack asked.

“What?” I stopped at the question, hoping she wasn’t asking what I thought she was.

“Well, ya’ said that yall were made when those shards came together. Were ya’ made by that or were ya’ tossed somewhere else like the rest of them?”

“I was dropped.” I relaxed again, letting out the breath that I hadn’t noticed I was holding. Not the question.

“Where were you dropped then? You seem nice, so was it somewhere nice? OOOOOH did they have lots of parties?” Pinkie chattered while bouncing in place.

“No they didn’t and no it wasn’t. The library is the first stop on the list.” I shuddered as I continued to walk, ignoring the looks they gave me.

Twilight looked over at Spike who was keeping pace a few steps behind me. “Why don’t you seem very surprised by any of this?”

Spike shrugged at her. “You learn a lot if you spend a day with him and listen. He’s fairly open about everything. Just don’t ask too much about his past, he doesn’t like talking about a lot of it.” He stopped and stared at me for a few moments, looking like he was considering an important decision. “Look at him though, he’s tired and something is really bothering him.”

“And he can hear you.” I replied. He shut up and sat back down on Twilight’s back. I growled distinctly unkind things under my breath about particularly perceptive beings, but lead them on. Twilight had a field day in the first room we turned into. It was the size of a small house with two-story high ceilings with a marble spiral staircase in the middle leading up and down to the seven floors of books held on the shelves that lining the walls from floor to ceiling. I knew there were comfortable couches and living chairs dotted through the entire complex. After I pried her away from the index with a promise to allow her back I took them to the dining room where Discord and Luna had been in my mindscape earlier.

I left them at the bowling alley table to slip into the kitchen. Once I made it to the other room I began to make, and eat rapidly, one of my favorite meals in existence. Grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh, shut up, it’s a comfort food. And melted cheddar on toasted sourdough bread is delicious. The easy, practiced movements helped me to calm down a little from the onslaught of personal questions they kept asking. Five sandwiches cooked and consumed later, I decided that I had calmed enough to move on.

The girls somehow managed to turn on one of the screens built into the far wall and were conversing with the animated paperclip that appeared on it. I tried to take a seat without anyone noticing but of course, the one that would know that I was starving myself had to notice.

Twilight looked at me with a puzzled expression. “I thought you said you didn’t have to eat.”

I scratched at the back of my neck awkwardly, trying to subvert the irritation rising at the back of my thoughts. “Well… That’s sort of true. I can go for months without eating. My ability to absorb magic as well as the solar receptors in my skin and the energy cores that act as generators behind my hearts stop me from needing it for energy but I do need the nutrients and such. And those don’t help the hunger much”

I could see the war between curiosity and anger behind her eyes, she finally settled on vaguely annoyed. “So, you lied.” She glared into my eyes.

I quickly averted my glare to the end of her muzzle. “I didn’t lie. I just didn’t finish the explanation.” I spun to face the group. “Ok girls, most of my home is contained in the manor, you’ve probably noticed the ‘bigger on the inside’ bit, it holds a relatively small dimension in it. There are two places that are separate of it though, the Lab and the Vault. The Vault is held in a separate dimension, I might show you it some other day. The lab on the other hand is a ways under the rest of the mansion, cut into the bedrock below. Hopefully that will keep any mishaps from affecting anything above it. Again. I have got to stop letting Orange and Purple work on projects together.”

I lead them to an industrial style elevator, open except for the manually closed gates and hit the button to go down. There was a pleasant little ‘ding’ as we reached the bottom and I opened the gates again. The lab was much smaller in comparison to the library, only about eight feet tall but the room was much wider. The walls held various machines and the center was a maze of workbenches and technological innovations.

I tripped over Pinkie as I left the platform and tried to catch myself with my left arm. Big mistake. The limb collapsed under me and my face attempted to make friends with the floor. The floor did not want to be friends.

I rolled onto my side before curling up, holding my injured arm close to my chest while I rocked back and forth and waited for the pain from my face and arm to subside.

I heard a tsk from Spark as he hovered his orb over my head from some dark corner of the lab. “When was the last time you repaired yourself?” I groaned unhappily at him. He sighed, “Fine, you know where the kits are.” I mumbled a thank you while using my good arm to sit back up. The girls had formed a tight circle around me trying to see if I was ok. At one point I heard Pinkie call my coat if I was dying. After I assured them that I was fine and that I was about to go take care of it. That mare is crazy.

I tried blinking away the tears that sprung up in response to the pain and suddenly found myself back in the elevator. Everything and everyone were exactly the same as before, even the pain in my arm was gone. This time however, I had a splitting headache to accompanying my apparent déjà vu. I was distracted from trying to figure the phenomena out when Applejack stepped off of the platform, so I stepped around Pinkie this time only to get hit in the back by Rainbow as she flew forward without watching. It wasn’t a hard hit, but I was midstep so it made me overbalance and fall face first. Cue repeat of what happened before. The floor didn’t want to be friends this time either. I had to explain who and what 343-Guilty Spark was this time, along with how I had to basically rebuild him from the fried circuits that were left after Chief blasted him.

Pinkie opted to stay next to me as I sat at one of the workbenches while the others began to spread out under Spark’s supervision. The really dangerous stuff was either locked up or in the Vault and he’s more than a little OCD.  As I began searching through the drawers of the workbench, I reached over and scratched behind her ear.

‘Are ponies supposed to be able to purr?’ Discord chose to do one of his random “check ins” on me at that particular moment.

‘It’s Pinkie. We don’t ask questions.’ I answered.

‘True, that one has been blessed by some form of chaos. I probably should look into that. Eventually.’

‘Hey Dis? Why is it that I look like a pony while you look all mismatched? It’s been bugging me since the castle.’

‘Oh, that’s simple. You’re the regular pony version draconequus while I’m the Alicorn version. Unlike ponies, draconequine don’t have only one characteristic they can all fly, do magic, etc. Some are more skilled in some areas than other though. What seems to be the problem at the moment?’ The history lesson must have bored him.

I briefly considered Luna’s offer then wordlessly connected physical sensation from my body to his consciousness. The result was an incredibly unmanly scream while his presence faded from my mind. Wimp. Pinkie cocked her head to the side as Discord screamed but melted again as I continued scratching.

Sure enough, a yellow toolbox was in one of the boxes under the table portion. I grabbed the box and began rummaging through it. To deflect the incoming stream of questions, I asked about the weird scene at the town earlier. Applejack explained how she had decided to be extraordinarily stubborn over the last few days when I had locked myself in the library to escape the world. Pinkie’s welcome party did not go well. Her exhaustion caused several accidents until she finally gave up and let her friends help. I was a little put out that she didn’t ask for my help but she thought that I had been busy in Canterlot at the time. Looking over at her critically, she looked exhausted but happy to be around her friends. That explains why she isn’t talking all that much. I thought with a wry grin.

Twilight asked about the meeting as the rest of the group came over after Spark left to go do whatever it is he does when he’s not writing about my experiences or bothering me. Probably bugs Ed, House would eat him alive. I told them about my arrival, which got a laugh from them and made me talk Fluttershy out of a check-up, and the meeting when I found out what my pony-ish form. Only Twilight recognized the word draconequus and had to explain the story of Discord to the rest of the girls.

Just as her lecture finished, I pulled out the first thing I needed. The tool in my hand looked like a syringe with three retracted nodes on one end and a button where the plunger should be on the other. Holding the tool and twisting to try and get it in place, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to line the tool up properly on my back with my injured arm. Slumping slightly against the wall I looked at the bored group. I would have to have to get one of their help. “Hey Spike, how squeamish is Rarity?”

She looked at me puzzled. “Why do you ask, darling?

I grimaced. “I need help.  Twilight would ask too many questions, again, and Spike doesn’t want to touch any of the tools after what happened last time.” He glared at me menacingly. It would have worked better if I hadn’t seen him freak out when we met Princess Molly.

“I would not!” Twilight yelled, affronted, while stepping forward.

“Needle incident.” I deadpanned.

“Oh.” She sunk back.

I rolled my eyes and turned back. “So, the question?”

Rarity’s pale blue aura took the tool from my hand. “Anything to help a friend.” I explained the procedure and she stepped behind me, Spike accompanying her, as I scooted away from the wall. “I need you to move your wings Vigil.” The aura glowed around my torso as the bottom dropped out of my stomach at her next remark. “And that shirt needs to come off as well. No need to ruin a perfectly good piece of clothing, even if it is a little plain.”

The dragon looked between me and her with an expression matching his panicked gestures to stop the unicorn. “Oh hush.” She responded to Spike before turning to me while I struggled to keep the shirt on against her pulling. “This is nothing to get worked up over. I know you explained the nudity taboo but you said that going topless was acceptable for…” Her voice trailed off. Not a moment later a series of shrieks came from behind me. My wings made an audible snap as they shut rapidly to hide my back.

My chest and stomach only the wavy Y-shaped autopsy scar from my first day in the Facility thanks to my regenerative abilities. My back on the other hand… Well, Lloyd Slate could sympathize with me. There’s nearly nothing but scar tissue back there. Once the angelic part of me was… woken up for lack of a better explanation, I started to regain my identity and independence rather than being Tory’s puppet. He didn’t like his ‘pets’ showing any abnormal behavior. The punishment for any subjects disobeying was mental and physical torture. The physical aspect wasn’t needed, he could use the mental part to make you feel the pain without ever touching you, but I think he just really liked that bladed whip. And fire, he liked burning things.

I spun around to hide my back. All of their faces, once again excluding Spike, Twilight, and Rarity, were frozen in horror. Spike was holding a claw to his face in the same reaction that I had. Rarity looked angry while Twilight just looked sad.

“What happened to you?” Fluttershy’s quiet voice matched her concerned expression. Huh. She was the last one I expected to recover first.

“Drop it. Now.” My voice was flat, emotionless. Under any other circumstances I would feel bad for talking to Fluttershy like that. She’s just too innocent and harmless. Spike wordlessly waddled to me and wrapped his arms around my neck in a sad hug. After a moment I returned the gesture. The small gesture gave me something to hang onto to calm myself again.

“Sorry.” I began, “Those scars don’t hold the happiest of memories.”

“No dear, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have overreacted or taken your shirt without permission.” I allowed Rarity to join the hug briefly to show that I didn’t hold any grudge.

“It’s fine.” I said after taking a few moments to calm down some more and release the child. “Let’s just get this over with.” My wings opened again, leaving my back bare. Rarity quickly pressed the tool against the triangular tattoo on my left shoulder blade then tapped the button. Three needle shot out of their nodes and sunk into the ‘bone’. A low hum began to emanate from the tool as it began to push an electric current into the area, my forearm tingled slightly as the skin and muscle split and opened, revealing the structure beneath.

It wasn’t really much to look at, the bones looked the same at it would on any human it was just made of a gleaming, golden metal with runes and symbols etched into it. I located the problem; a tooth was stuck in my wrist. It seemed to have pulled a few of the golden wires slipping seamlessly into the metal loose as well. I pulled it out with a pair of pliers and put the disconnected wires back at their proper places again. The mechanisms repaired themselves followed by the metal closing around the wires as well. Rarity tapped the button again and the needles retracted making the flesh close around the bones again. The tingling returned as the muscles connected back to the bones and the cut disappeared after a few seconds. I flexed my fingers and arm, making sure that everything was working properly.

Twilight noted the flowing metal. “I thought that metal was supposed to be indestructible but now you’ve damaged it twice and I’ve seen it broken once.”

I snorted at that. “You’ve been reading Tory’s theories Twi, from before I was actually made. In reality my bones are usually less dense and softer than a normal human’s, much less yours. Those same properties let me repair it almost instantly though.”

The group, minus her, Rarity, and Spike, just stared at the arm. Pinkie and Rainbow looked like it was the most awesome thing they’ve ever seen. Fluttershy seemed to be in shock. Applejack looked like she was going to be sick.

I got them to calm down before Twilight and I explained that I wasn’t exactly entirely organic. I explained that I put a seal on either side of the cut to stop blood from spilling as well. They pretty much only had one question for me.

“How?”

“Short version: I died. Long version: Repeatedly. Ask me some other time.”

That was not the answer that they had been looking for apparently. The girls split into an argument about whether or not they should respect my privacy. Applejack and Rarity seemed to be winning against Twilight and Rainbow on the respecting my privacy side while Fluttershy and Pinkie stayed out of it. Pinkie just watched me expectantly with a grin plastered to her face. It also probably would have gone better if the chaotic power currently adjusting to my system hadn’t decided to flare up again.

Spike was the first to notice the strained expression on my face as I tried to hold back the building pressure. He dealt with one of my outbursts in one of the anthromorphic versions of this reality. Horrible, horrible place. He jerked urgently at Rarity’s leg to get her attention away from the squabbling group, babbling and pointing at me the entire time. I let out a strangled groan and clutched at my head while staggering against the table as the feeling of pressure switched to pain. It felt like every nerve in my body had ignited at once then all of the fire was pulled into my skull. I hastily put up a dam to hold back the flow, but I could already feel places were cracks were forming and tiny jets of power sprang out. The pained noise finally got the group’s attention. They all stared as probabilities around me were rewritten, minor details like the arrangement of tools changed as the chaos flooded my Murphionic field. If I held it any longer it could cause some serious damage. I looked up with unseeing eyes as the trapped energy played hell with my systems and forced out a stuttered. “D-d-duck.” The resistance I had put up was easily cast aside and crushed under the tide of chaotic magic. The world vanished in a swirl of indescribable colors and sound.

The pain faded after a moment, allowing me to think again. I immediately jerked up, only to fall over again thanks to my four legs tangling together. The outburst must have switched me back to draconequus again. I’m not even going to ask. I rose to my hooves, scanning for the girls. The entire room, except for a three foot circle around me, was absolutely buried in a pink substance. Neither the girls nor Spike was anywhere to be seen. Oh Gods and Goddesses please let them be ok. I thought while throwing myself at the nearest pile and began digging. The first hoof revealed the substance to be cotton candy. Not three scoops in, seven figures stood up several feet to my right.

An oversized tongue appeared at one of their mouths’ general area and swirled around the figure. The abrupt tongue bath revealed it to be Pinkie, of course. She squealed at the sight of the room, turned around and dove in with a swan dive that would have earned an Olympic diver a unanimous 10.0 and a gold medal on the spot. Impressive for someone who’s joints and skeletal structure shouldn’t allow that.

A flash of purple from the middle figure made the candy jump off of the remaining group. They all stared at the room with unamused expressions. Except Spike who seemed to be taking lessons from Pinkie and followed her with a 3.6 dive. I grinned at them nervously in response, hoping that they didn’t notice me digging in the wrong direction.

“What was that?” Twilight was trying to decide if she should be excited about something new or absolutely furious at me. Again.

“Um… Magical outburst?” I asked hopefully.

She glared with the rest of the group, her tone remained unamused. “Yes, I can see that. What caused it?”

I sighed and plopped down in my clear circle while switching to a wistful tone. “I guess I’m going to have to explain my ‘condition’ then. I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to…” I trailed off, sadly thinking about the upcoming change in their perspective of me. “But, I guess it’s inevitable when people spend time with me. Basically I have something similar to epilepsy.” I noted the comprehension as it dawned on them. Spike just looked bored, he’d heard it before. “I guess all of you know what that is then.” They nodded.

Rainbow cut in. “Yeah, there’s a mare in town that has that. Her eyes are messed up too.”

“She means well, but has her moments…” Rarity added.

 “Huh. I think I’ve met her. Ditsy right? Wait, Nevermind. I’m off track again. “Instead of seizures, I have those outbursts.” I though over it for a moment before adding, “Omnius never could figure why though. Anyways, my guess is that my body is reacting badly to the new influx of chaotic magic. It must have made me switch back to this form because draconequine are made to handle chaos.”

I rubbed my temple with my hoof as the headache returned with a vengeance accompanied by a warmth spreading down my lips and chin. A quick check showed that my nose had started bleeding. Not good, that did more damage than I thought. Applejack passed me a handkerchief from Rarity to stem the blood. “This is the second outburst today, but it does seems to be a lot better than my first one.”

“SECOND?!” Twilight panicked. “Where did you have the first one? Did anypony get hurt?! Are you alright?”

I really didn’t want to have to use any complex magics against a Twilight freak out in my current state. Instead, I reached out with a tiny stream of tightly controlled magic, warping my telekinesis into a hand-like structure and gently using the fingers to rub the fur just above her horn. It’s a trick I picked up the first time I was in a form without hands; a lot of my tools need them. She let out a soft groan and basically melted in a manner similar to Pinkie earlier. “Everything is fine. The princesses stopped it before anything could really happen. The throne room got a new makeover though.” That got a small giggle from her. “And Celestia likes the new look.” She really started laughing as I described the new decorations. My voice took on a teasing tone, “But really, is my safety really the last thing on your list?” Everyone started laughing at that.

With everyone calmed again, Applejack made her way over to me while the others started making their way back to the elevator. “What’re ya’ gonna do now?”

I looked over the mess, noting Spike and Pinkie occasionally leaping out of the sugar like dolphins while leaving empty trails behind them. Pinkie squeezed a handful of it over her mouth before squealing “It has chocolate milk in it!” and going back in with renewed vigor.

“I’ll get everyone home after then next room then clean this place up.” I rubbed my temples with my hooves trying to stem the returning headache. “It’s been a long day and I get the feeling that it’s just going to keep dragging on.”

She looked up at me and placed a hoof on my thigh while giving me a wry grin. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help, sugarcube. Ah learned that tha’ hard way.”

My hoof gently touched her shoulder. “I know AJ. I know.”

“Are ya’ alright? Ya’ve seemed a little off all night.” Concerned emerald eyes stared into mine.

I sighed and leaned heavily against the bench. “That I’m not so sure of. Do you ever get the feeling that something big is coming? Like it’s just beyond the horizon and charging at us like a train. I have that feeling about several things and I don’t think any of us are going to like them.”

She nodded solemnly. “Things seem ta be happenin’ a lot in Ponyville these days.”

I straightened back up. “Enough of that. You all are going to love the last room, if the constant stream of questions you’ve been asking since we got here and that argument earlier is any indication.” Back up the elevator we went, this time with no incidents. We made our way through the winding halls to a redwood door with the image of a water drop carved into it. The sound of moving water drifted past it.

“This is my reflection room, usually used for meditation. However, that’s not the room we’re going to. The one we’re looking for is in it.” I opened the door and stepped into a small Japanese-style garden. Wooden bridges crossed over the irrigation streams that fed the irregular plants, samples from many realities, and led to the central pool surrounded by cushions. We silently walked around the circular pool and to the other side where we were presented with another door, this one made out of silvery strange matter. I opened the door and ushered them in.

This room was different than the others in the fact that there was no specific theme. The mismatched set of eight chairs arranged around the fireplace took up most of the room while the similarly unmatched shelves holding all kinds of trinkets and wonders along the walls took up the rest.

All of them, even Pinkie, reverently sat down in the chairs and waited silently for me to begin. The distinct feeling of importance that permeates the room has that effect if you aren’t used to it. I sat at the chair closest to the fire.

“This is my memory room, it holds things from important moments in my life.” The girls’ attention snapped to me as they realized what this meant. I hadn’t let any of them in on my past, so why did I bring them to this room? “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly open about my past. For good reason. But, all of you have earned my trust in your own ways and you may need to know this if you’re going to deal with what I think is coming. I’ve been thinking of doing this for the last few days and the princesses agree that it should be done. Though, for different reasons than mine.”

I took a deep breath to steady myself before continuing, “Now is your last chance to back out. I won’t hold any grudge against you if you choose to stay in the reflection room while this happens. It’s not going to be comfortable for anyone and some of the things you might see… Well, I’m not exactly proud of many of the things I’ve done.”

Not a single pony or dragon left. They just stayed in the same place with a determined expression, even Fluttershy lost her nervousness for the moment.”

“So be it. Close your eyes.” Each one did while I took a rune from one of the shelves. No use in trying to cast this spell by myself. I activated it, watching grey lines connect to each one’s head before they slumped into unconsciousness. The final strand, much darker and larger than the rest slithered to a stop before me I lowered my head and a sharp pain came from the back of it. I faded into darkness yet again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They say that you either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain but I have to disagree. So, what about those of us who were never heroes in the first place? I know that Tory made me and those like me to give him an edge in this never ending war, I was created to be Evil and yet I try to fight for Good. What about the people who work behind the scenes so that others can have the spotlight? I’ve never liked the attention. For the others, I can only tell the same thing that Cole MacGrath said today that brought on this line of thinking. "Right or wrong, it's my life and I choose how to use it."

After he said that, he turned to me and asked “What would you chose to do?” At the time, I didn’t know. I don’t know how long I’ll live and I certainly don’t know what is going to come to pass before the end. I can still remember every detail about the beginning, the first moments outside of the Facility. It was tearing itself apart, all of the test subject running amuck, as I looked down from the hill where Omnius, or Nate as he prefers me to call him now, held out his hand. I wasn’t sure how I should have been feeling at the destruction of everything I had known or what I would do now that it was gone, but I charged headfirst into the great unknown when I took that hand. I have never regretted that decision. But now that I look back over the last century since that day, I finally have an answer for myself and my friend Cole. I chooseto live every day my way. I choosehow I will act and what I will do. That’s what I regained from Tory after he took it, my ability to make my own choices. In the end even if I’m regarded as a pariah, the important people will remember who I choseto be. Even if it’s only by a few friends over my grave.

-Excerpt from Vigil’s early journal.