Jumping Blind

Chapter 5: Hopeless

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Celestia and I stood in the library staring at each other, the silence in the room was nearly suffocating. I took a few minutes to calm down after I broke eye contact awkwardly and looked around the room. The girls just sat and stared with expressions somewhere between awe and wanting to ask questions. Except for the pink one. She was balancing the plate of cookies from earlier on one hoof while staring at me with a manic gleam in her eyes.

She worries me. A lot.

“So…” I began, trying to end the silence. After staying in a city that never stops moving I was used to there always being some kind of background noise, if that ever stopped it meant that something was about to happen. Here though there wasn’t any, just the faint whisper of wind blowing against the building. At that I noticed that I hadn’t been outside yet. I should correct that.

Shrugging and sitting up, I made for the door only to be stopped by a large white wing.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Celestia asked, her tone cursory rather than accusatory. The sorrow had left her eyes and was now replaced with curiosity again.

I gestured wordlessly at the door.

“Why do you wish to leave?” She seemed a little saddened by this.

I rolled my eyes before opting for a more polite tone. “I’m not going anywhere ma’am. I just haven’t been outside yet. I want to see what this version looks like.”

This made her seem more confused. “What do you mean you haven’t been outside?”

I shrugged. “I’ve only been in this reality for about…” I searched the room for a clock. “Twelve hours and I haven’t left Ms. Sparkle’s library yet.”

Celestia’s look of shock was priceless. “So you’re the source of the disturbance?”

I rubbed the back of my head with a hoof. “Yes. No. Maybe? Depends on what kind of disturbance it was. Normally my jumping is untraceable, if nothing else Tory does good work.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Tory?”

I met her gaze with a completely serious expression, my voice lacking any emotion. “You of all people should know that names have power, Celestia. By naming him by something else I choose to laugh rather than fear.”

Oddly enough this seemed to have a much more profound effect on her than my anger did. “True. Now which little Traveler are you? You aren’t Omnius, that much is certain. Your disdain for ‘Tory’ also shows that you aren’t him. Neutra?”

I actually had to laugh at that one, so much so that I ended up falling onto my back. At some point Pinkie got bored of the cookies and decided to join me, both of us wheezing and rolling back and forth. After a few minutes the laughter died down and I collected myself again, Pinkie just kept laughing. “Whew…” I wiped a tear from my eye, “I needed that.” I met the solar Goddesses’ gaze again “No. No I’m not. You can tell by the fact that I’m male and you can see me. You know she likes to work from behind the scenes, through several different associates.” I looked over at Pinkie. “Does she need help or something?” The girls just shook their heads and ignored it, it seems this happens a lot.

“So who and what are you?” I smiled at her growing curiosity. If there’s one thing immortal beings like, it’s learning about something new.

“Vigil, and I’m a chimera. At least that’s what I call what I am, it’s as close as I can get.”

She looked me in the eye dead seriously. “Now answer the questions.” A wide grin interrupted the vaguely threatening stare, “Please?” Oh Gods and Goddesses, she thinks she can troll me.

I sighed dramatically, eliciting a few giggles from the Princess and the girls. “You know, you’re the first Goddess that I’ve met who doesn’t like mental games.”

She just stood there, grinning and waiting.

My face fell as the memories from my past were brought to the front of my thoughts. “Wanderer, Subject Omega, Cursed Blade, The Angel Defiant, The Watchful Haunting, The Last Survivor, I have a lot of different names. As for what I am… I’m not really sure.”

She nodded. “That’s not much to go on.” I nodded in agreement and she took a step closer. “I need to make sure my subjects are safe…”

I realized where this was going and started backpedalling quickly away. “Nonononononono. You don’t need to do that! I’ll be good, I swear!” I held up a hoof. “Scout’s honor!”

She kept advancing on me. “No, I can’t be sure of what you say until I’ve finished looking.”

I kept going until she trapped me against a bookcase. I tried to reason with her. “No, you already got a look at it. It only gets worse.”

Her face was set grimly. “Exactly, I need to know what kind of danger you pose.”

I looked around, panicking. Great, I was caught and she had far too much power for me to struggle against. I really don’t want to spend the next fifty years in a dungeon.

I slumped to the floor in defeat, all the tension in my body leaving as I accepted my current fate. “Ok, but save your judgment until the end. You’ll need to see it all.” She backed off and I stood again. “I have something in my bag that will help.”

I walked over to my nearly forgotten bag and started searching through it. After about five minutes of pure frustration after I found it I turned around. “How in the multiverse do you pick anything up with these hooves?!”

Twilight, of course was the only one to answer. “Tactile telekinesis. All ponies have it, though earth ponies’ is the strongest followed by pegasi, then unicorns.” She explained.

I nodded. That made quite a bit of sense actually. From what Spike told me and what I’d seen, earth ponies were the strongest physically, then pegasi, then unicorns. Unicorns’ would be the weakest because of their innate ability to use magic to levitate objects. I shook my head. No, I’m getting sidetracked.

I tried again, this time directing some magic into the hoof. It came back up with a small burlap pouch attached. “Huh. That actually worked. Anyways…” I spilled the contents of the bag onto the floor in front of me.”

The bag had held small square tiles similar to Scrabble pieces, each with a rune carved into it instead of a letter. I shuffled them around until I found what I was after. I picked up three different tiles and put the rest back into the pouch before tossing it back into the bag. I held up the tiles. “These are runes. It’s a trick I picked up from some Nordic shaman types a while back. Each rune holds the framework for a spell and stores enough power to perform it, all you have to do is activate it.”

I held up a tile. “This one brings others into one being’s mind temporarily, it allows you to see what they have. I’ll give you a few minutes to prepare yourself, it’s not going to be pretty.”

Meanwhile, most of the girls had lost interest in what I was saying.

Applejack and Rainbow’s glares screamed suspicion, but a quick assurance from Celestia settled them down. Pinkie was doing whatever she does. Rarity had picked up my coat and was watching as the tears and slashes repaired themselves. Twilight and Celestia were studying the runes, which I had set down for them. Fluttershy however, was staring at me intently from a corner. I walked carefully over to her, she eeped as I reached her.

Smiling at her, I reassured her “Relax, I don’t bite. Or I didn’t, I’m not really sure anymore.” I flicked my tongue over my teeth, “These are new to me.”

She examined my fangs, and then mumbled something. I leaned closer and upped my audio sensors briefly, but I still couldn’t make out what she said.

I stayed there, leaning close to her for a few moments waiting for her to continue, not quite catching her question. A light tap from my other side snapped me out of it and I turned my head.

Rarity stood next to me, coat still in her telekinetic grip. “Sir, are you going to answer her question?”

“Huh?” There’s my rapier wit! I was wondering where it had gone off to.

She rolled her eyes and asked heatedly, “Fluttershy here asked you a question. Are you going to be so rude as to not answer it?”

I took a step back in surprise from her tone. I turned to the yellow pegasus, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your question. Could you run it by me again?”

She nodded before answering me quietly, but audibly. “Um… Yes. Are you hungry?”

“Huh?” My eyebrow rose.

She quieted further, nearly to the point of being inaudible. “You’re a little um… Thin…”

I looked again, this time comparing myself to the other ponies in the room. Now with it pointed out, I noticed I was a little on the skinny side of the weight scale. Being a foot taller than the other ponies, combined with this new fact, resulted in a gangly and awkward appearance, all arms and legs, instead of an intimidating draconic presence. So basically my normal body in pony form. And here I was thinking the multiverse had given me a break.

“She’s right dear.” Rarity’s voice came from right next to my ear.

I let out a small yell and dove for the nearest shadow, which happened to be between a shelf and the wall. Yes it was a yell, not a girlish squeal, I don’t know where you’d get that idea. I bounced off the wall, the shadows rejecting me. I rose again, clutching my now bruised skull. “Ow…”

Rarity ignored my antics with great dignity and continued, “You’re too tall for being that in that weight range. And those legs! It gives you a malnourished look.”

I shrugged, “Maybe a bit, but there’s not much I can do about it. I don’t need to eat or drink but when I do, my metabolism is ridiculously fast. Sure I could shape shift but it’s not worth the strain it would put on me, besides it would just revert back to this as soon as I stopped concentrating.”

Rarity scoffed and cantered off muttering about how unfair it is that others don’t need to watch their weight carefully.

Fluttershy decided to change the conversation. “Are you venomous? You look like you could be.”

I shrugged. “No idea. First time in this body, I’m just starting to figure it out. Honestly, I’m surprised that I can move my wings. Luckily the muscle structure is similar to my old one. I’m not sure if I can fly yet though, similar isn’t the same.” I stopped my babbling and shot her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I babble when I’m nervous or freaked out. My social skills are… lacking. I’m so used to being alone most of the time and now I’m in an enclosed space with unfamiliar ponies and a Goddess who may or may not approve of me. I’m a little stressed.” I stopped again and looked around awkwardly. “Sorry, I’m doing it again…”

She simply nodded. “I know what it’s like to not be comfortable around other ponies. I live out near the Everfree forest, away from the town, with all of my animal friends.” My blank expression gave away the fact that I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. “Oh dear, you don’t know about the area around here do you?”

I shook my head in response. “No. I’ve been in the library since I got here, you found me where I arrived. Spike was asleep before that last jump and everything finally caught up to me when we got here.” I examined a hoof, trying to get a feel for it. “What did you say about animal friends?”

That brought her the rest of the way out of her shell. She spent the next ten minutes talking about the various animals she took care of, even the injured ones that came from the forest for treatment. As our conversation went on, I examined and experimented with my new form. Rolling, bending, and stretching each part of my anatomy to examine the interplay and control of my muscles. I had unfurled my wings and was in awe of the new flexibility and dexterity of them when the female next to me interrupted my exam.

“Um… What are you doing that for?” She looked at me in confusion as I held a wing between my two hooves.

I let go of my wing and looked back. “Examining the bone structure, or rather the ridiculous amount of what seems to be something similar to cartilage in these wings. Well, what that would be in a normal whatever I am. Speaking of which, I think the others are ready. What do you think?” I gestured to the other, now restless, ponies in the library.

“Oh… Um… Well… Maybe?” She squeaked out.

I chuckled. “Miss Fluttershy, there’s no reason to be nervous. I’m not going to harm you.”

Her answer floored me. “Oh, I already knew that.” She jumped as my face connected with the floor. “Are you ok?”

I got back up, holding a hoof to my considerably smarting face. “I’m fine. That just wasn’t the answer I was expecting…”

She giggled with a hoof over her mouth. Gods and Goddesses that’s cute. If they weaponized that, universal peace would be declared that day. “You’ve done your best to get Spike safely home, and you’ve offered to do something that’s uncomfortable and painful for you just to make somepony else feel better.”

I stared at her in shock. I closed open and closed my mouth a few times but sound wouldn’t come out. I shook my head in disbelief. “Wow. First Pinkie and now you. You ponies are perceptive.”

She smiled and trotted over to her friends, who were chatting merrily. I rolled my shoulders and stretched my back eliciting a number of creaks and cracks. I followed her lead, opting to stand outside of the group.

I cut in when their conversation reached a lull. “Ma’am, if you’re ready I believe now would be a good time to start.”

Celestia nodded in agreement. She followed me while I picked up the runes.

The Goddess examined my expression as I checked the preparations. “Why do you act this way?”

. “Damn, your excess power is going to short out the rune before it can activate properly. I can fix that, I think.” I turned my head from examining the rune “What way?”

“You laugh one moment but drop it the next, and why do you speak in that manner?”

I chuckled again. “It’s a game I play to keep my mind occupied. I try to use as much of my vocabulary in conversation as I can. It can lead to switching between formal and informal speech patterns in the middle of a sentence, but the more you use it the less likely you are to forget it, not that I can forget anything anymore. As for the sudden changes…” I stared deep into her eyes and she shuddered under the intensity. “Am I sane or still cracked? Which is truly the mask?”

We walked back over to the group. There wasn’t much to say after that, she’d have to decide after the spell.

I addressed the ponies before me. “Ok ladies, and the little one, the spell will basically make a temporary copy of my mind for Celestia to look at while leaving me conscious unlike normal viewing spells. So, what do you want to do while the princess is busy?”

The little one jumped up. “Mah name’s Applebloom, Mister Vigil.”

“Ok Applebloom, what do you want to do once I get the spell up and running?”

She sat down right in front of me as I started trying to make the rune compatible for the Princess. “Can yall tell a story?”

I frowned as I overloaded the capacitor in the rune, releasing a spray of blue sparks. “I’m not sure if I know any good ones.” Ah ha! I reworked the spell matrix to feed excess energy back to the source rather than release it harmlessly or store it. That should work.

She cranked her cuteness up to eleven as she stared at me with puppy dog eyes and her lower lip trembled. “Pweease mister?” The girls joined with their own begging.

My brain shut down from the cuteness induced aneurysm. My mouth however, got free reign without my mind to ask what to say, and apparently it had decided to bow down to the new adorable overlords. “I guess I could tell you how this all started.” I swear I could hear Celestia cracking up behind me. Thanks ‘Princess’, your subjects attempt to murder me with their D’awww powers and you laugh at my misfortune. So much for a ‘Goddess of Good’.

I broke the rune, starting the spell, and she fell silent. That tingling in the back of my head returned briefly while an orb of blue-green energy formed in front of the Goddess.

I settled back down and began the tale. “Ok, this is the story of the Travelers…”

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There are many Gods and Goddesses throughout the multiverse. Some are Good, some Evil, and some choose neither to keep their Neutrality, and they all are in constant conflict with each other. Each set watches over their respective reality, and sometimes lend a hand in others to keep everything intact. After a time they began to wonder how to keep these realities flowing smoothly and stay connected. They came up with a plan to have one person for each side to Travel the multiverse, sharing tales and past experiences from the other realities. The stories remained once the Travelers left and were spread, cementing that reality to the others. Each set chose their Traveler for different reasons.

The Gods and Goddesses of Evil chose a cold, dark, ruthless being known as Torrentican. He revels in his power, spreading his darkness wherever he goes because he can. He twists all the Good he finds to his own sick ideals, making what was once beautiful and whole into something sick and corrupt, perfect for spreading the darkness.

The Gods and Goddesses of Neutrality picked their Traveler to be an agent. She’s able to change her identity and essence to remain unknown and work from behind the scenes. In particular, she enjoys working indirectly through her vast network of followers, known as the Disciples of the Scales. They wish to maintain balance in the multiverse by tipping the scales one way or the other at a critical juncture. Trust me, pure unfiltered Good is just as disturbing and damaging as its Evil counterpart.

Finally, the Gods and Goddesses of Good, Claimed someone a bit odd. While the other two picked their Travelers from their lives, the beings from this side created and shaped theirs from birth to be the Traveler of Good. He goes by Omnius, or Sean if you’re his friend, unlike the other two he prefers to be a scholar rather than a fighter.

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“… and that about covers it.” I looked around. Everyone in the room had decided to lie down at some point except for one small female. Said child was sitting in front of me, staring up in awe.

“Do yall have any other stories, mister? That one only sounded like a beginning.”

I smiled down at her. “It is a beginning, it’s still being written and will continue to be for all of eternity. What’s a story to you is my reality. I’ve met all three of them before, though Omnius is the only one I get along with. I’ll tell you some other stories another time, alright? I think your princess is almost finished.”

It was true, the bright orb from earlier had dwindled down to a small ball of weakly flickering light. Celestia looked contemplative as she saw something none of the rest of us could.

Hope slowly grew in me at her gentle expression. I only stayed in the Nightside for so long because that was the only place I’d ever been able to live somewhat normally. Gods and Devils lived there and the tolerance for weird happenings was ridiculous. Maybe I could actually stay somewhere that I wasn’t nearly constantly fighting to stay alive. Maybe I won’t have to hide in the shadows here. Maybe I could finally be accepted instead of reviled.

The light faded as Celestia finished looking through the last of my memories. I watched her hopefully as her expression remained frozen. I listened excitedly as one word escaped her lips.

“Monster…”

My face fell as my thoughts and newfound hope shattered. I rocked back as if physically struck. Of course she would respond that way. I don’t know why she wouldn’t, I would have too in her place. It’s not like anywhere else has been different, why do I even get my hopes up anymore?

I collected myself again as the thoughts ran through my head and returned to a neutral expression as I gathered my belongings. I slipped my resized bag on then glared at the coat. It quivered a bit, then reshaped itself into a me-sized cloak, which I put over myself.

I walked over to the door and opened it. I stood there, just inside still refusing to look behind me at what would be revolted looks aimed at me.

My voice was quiet and flat, but filled the library eerily. “You’re right, I am a monster. I tend to forget that fact, thank you for reminding me.” I shook my head and chuckled, it sounded flat and dead. “I don’t belong anywhere anymore, so why do I keep trying?” I slid my goggles down off of my head and over my eyes, hiding the rapidly wetting fur under them from view. “Take care of Spike, I won’t be around to find him next time. I left the rest of the crystals that he likes on the table in the kitchen earlier. And I’m sorry you won’t get that story Applebloom.”

I stepped out the door and disappeared into the inky darkness before dawn.