Running the Show

by Theta

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Slice of Life, Wonderbolts, Anthro, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 8756

Retiring after a year with the Wonderbolts, finally settling down in the famous Ponyville, what awaits Solar Runner? Come find out.

(Antrho/First Person Fic/Present)
After a year in the Wonderbolts, I'm finally calling it quits. A year of flawless victories, a year of intolerable parties, and unwanted media attention. Finally I can relax in a new town, one which I hope my name isn't too known. I wonder what will find me in Ponyville.

Published 2013-01-30 19:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-16 23:21:51 UTC

The Day After

I turn on the headlights even brighter than before, this small town not having very many street lamps. The radio beside me read 1:45 A.M., the sign necessary to completely shut off the stereos, and unplug my music player. Lest I wake the whole town, and cause a riot of angry ponies woken from their sleep.

Yeahhh, probably best if I don’t wake them... Creator, let them at least have set my bed up. Just want to collapse in the warm embrace of sleep...

I yawn as I pull into Ponyville, noticing that there was only a few large streets with smaller back alleyway-like paths sprouting from them. The next thing is that they aren’t paved, the place still has dirt streets...

Okay, how am I supposed to drive when there aren’t any lanes to follow?

I find the address to my new house, 526 Harrow Ave., rather quickly. Not much can be seen right now, but then again I’m just focused on the front door and what lays behind. I pull up and park in the tiny driveway (If it can even be considered a driveway), which is just long enough to fit my car, and maybe a motorcycle. Not wanting to rush, lest I wake the neighbors, I slowly get out the car, making sure to put the emergency brake on.

Ten steps, and I’m already opening the door, and switching on the lights. Not bad. This place is a little old fashioned, but hey, I ain’t complainin’.

I take a moment to absorb the features of the house; the lower ceilings, paintings of flowers, and the bright, yellow that covered the walls. Satisfied that I haven’t been ripped off, or robbed, I make my way up the wooden staircase, and find the master bedroom. Upon entering the room, I notice the bed was set up, and to this I rejoice. “Thank the Creator! Those movers actually followed directions!” I say, as I toss my bag to the side and jump into the bed.

Time to sleep...Celestia don’t wake me with your sun for at least another 10 hours.

Of course, my request didn’t reach the Princess of the Sun, and the morning interrupted the dull sleep that I had enjoyed. Sure, might not have been enjoying any dreams, but I still loved the dark escape of it.

As usual, I wake with a quick stretch, and jump out of bed. I head towards the bathroom to follow my usual routine... Piss, brush teeth, take 10 of each pill. I’ve been in the same routine for the past four years, and I don’t intend on breaking it anytime soon. My stomach growls, and reminds me of my second priority; food. Seeing as how I don’t have any groceries, I decide to head into town and grab a bite to eat. But first, I head back up to throw on some clothes. I don’t want to be labeled the town nudist on the first day...Let’s save that for later. I let out a brief laugh as I enter my room and slowly put on the outfit from the day before, excluding the flight suit, of course.

I put my hood up as I exit the front door, making sure nopony recognizes me. I’ll deal with fans later, for now I just want to chill for a little while. I decide not to lock the door, for the sole reason that the town just doesn’t look like the crime rate is very high, if there’s one at all. Looking to my left, I see that I had done a downright terrible parking job last night, a good portion of my car lay in the grass beside the driveway. Wow, how fuckin’ stupid can I get...

For now, I disregard it, mainly because I left my keys in my bedroom. Looking at the sun, I guess it’s about 10 in the morning, give or take an hour. I start my descent into the center of the small town, hell bent on getting some grub. I subconsciously pull my hood over my eyes, obstructing the top of my peripheral vision. It’s not because it was particularly bright out, but simply out of habit; I’m a terrible people’s person, especially with mares...

In the time span of ten minutes, I make my way into the small market place, the streets being filled by others who are greedily bartering. What looks go-... Immediately, my eyes land on an apple cart, accompanied by an tan, blonde-maned mare. ...She is the epitome of western beauty... Wonder if her apples can stand to her looks? I casually stroll up to the stand, and am happily greeted, “Wooh, howdy there, partner! Care to buy some apples? Promise ya they’re the best in Equestria!”

“Yeah, I’ll buy a few. How much?” I ask in a slightly douche-baggish tone.

“Shoot, you new? Ain’t seen ya round here before...” She eyes me suspiciously.

At this, I simply answer, “Yeah, just came in from Canterlot. So about those apples...”

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet ya! For new ponies ‘round these parts, Ah give a discount... So that’ll be two bits!” She replies in a upbeat tone, seemingly forgetting the uneasiness that she had just a moment ago.

“Yeah, you too...Uhh, what’s your name? Didn’t catch it.” I ask as I pull out two single paper bills from my wallet, each marked “ONE BIT”.

“Mah names AppleJack, but my friends call me AJ for short. And you would be?”

“I’m Solar Runner.” I say back, quickly regretting my honesty. I internally face-hoof, and scorn myself for it, You moron, thought you didn’t want anypony to know who you are! An internal voice cuts through my cerebellum.

“Wait, aren’t you the famous Wonderbolt?” She asks with genuine curiosity.

“Ye-Yeah, that’s me... Please don’t tell anyone...” I pull my hood back a little, revealing my dark brown eyes, and give her a look shouting Please I beg of you, don’t make a big deal out of this.

“You got it, Mr. Solar Runner!” She practically shouts this, and a multitude of heads turn our way, “Oops...Ah’m so sorry...Guess Ah got a little excited. Ain’t often we get celebrities in these parts. Let me just bag up them apples so y’all can get gettin’.”

“It’s...it’s okay, I guess. They’d have to learn sooner or lat-” I barely make out a rainbow trail as I feel somepony land behind me.

I turn around, and am greeted by a rainbow maned mare,“OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh! It really is the Solar Runner! I would know those scars anywhere!”

“Uhh...”

“I have soooooo many questions! Who’s coolest Wonderbolt to hang with? Ooh, is it true Spitfire and Soarin are an item? Wait is Fleetfoot really on steroids?”

“Ah reckon that’s enough, RD. Can’t y’all see you’re makin’ him uncomfortable?” AppleJack’s southern accent interrupted the onslaught of questions.

“It’s cool, I guess. I mean I was the same way when I first entered training camp... To answer the coolest Wonderbolt question, I’d say Soarin by a long shot. He’s a great problem solver, and has made my life ten times easier over the past year...Oh and yes Spitfire and Soarin are an ‘Item’. Don’t spread that around, I’ll catch hell for it. And as for the steroids, the answer is a flat no. We’re all drug tested on a weekly basis, and even if we weren't drug tested, steroids wouldn't have a desirable effect on a Wonderbolt. We’re about speed and precision, not bulk, unusable muscle.”

“Ohmygosh! A Wonderbolt answered my questions!”, Rainbow's eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head.

I start to doubt she actually listened to what I answered, and instead just watched my mouth move. Then I notice something about this mare... She looks athletic...where have I seen her before, though? Couldn't be at a show, I’d be going too fast. In Canterlot? Nah, I rarely went outside there. On tour? Who knows, that was a blur to me. It was after a minute of pondering that it clicked, Wait, that’s gotta be the Rainbow Dash, only pony to ever pull off a sonic rainboom...Gotta be, it’d explain the initials and mane.

“Wait, aren't you Rainbow Dash?”

She squeals with, what I can only assume, is amazement. “So you've heard of me?”

“Yeah, overheard Spitfire say stuff ‘bout you. Well that, and the fact that you’re literally the only pony to pull of the sonic rainboom.”

My stomach growls, indicating that I should take the bag of apples that were being held by the tan mare. I eye it for a second, and almost on queue, AppleJack extends her arm to give me the bag. In exchange, I hand her the two pieces of paper that I still had in my hand. “Uhh, kid you want to take this somewhere else? Maybe pick up on it later, say, lunch or dinner?”

I watch as she suddenly collapses to the ground, seemingly unconscious. As soon as I approach to help her up, magenta eyes flick open and a shrill voice exclaims loudly, “A WONDERBOLT JUST ASKED ME ON A DATE!”

Date? Oh shit...I really need to think before I speak.

“Umm... I’m new around here?” I say, trying to change the subject. Multiple heads have turned my way, and most of their faces read ‘Is it true? This will make some great gossip!’.

“Meet me at a place called Sugar Cube Corner at three o’clock. You can’t miss it, only building modeled after a gingerbread house. I’ll see you then, lover boy.” She teases, which sent me into a frenzy.

"Sounds good, dude."

Oh, dear Celestia, what the fuck have I gotten myself into...Wait, did she just call me ‘loverboy’?!? I’m in for it now...

Author's Note

Chapter two, sorry for the wait. Lacrosse is kicking into gear right now, and soon it will control most of my schedule. I still promise to update either weekly or biweekly, depending on my schedule.

Empty Promised Land

Following Dash’s lead, we eventually make it to her house in the sky. I hesitate to step into the cloud home, instead rethinking if I should follow through or not. Last chance... Shit, what the fuck have I gotten myself into! I barely know this chick, and I’m already telling her my past...worse yet, she’s a FAN, and a loud one at that. I should probably bail out...

Settling in on the idea that I should ditch Rainbow, I glance around, and find that I'm already inside the mammoth building, stuck in what seemed to be the living room. Surprisingly, the whole place is spotless. “Uhhh Dash, I...I think I left the stove on. I’ll catch you lat-”

“Oh, no you don’t! You promised to tell me. Besides, we’re already here. So come on, just tell me, I promise I won’t go to the local newspaper and print what I hear.”

“Dude, please. I just..I can’t...” I start to back up into a wall, slightly cowering to the oncoming pegasus.

"Solar, why in the hay are you, a former Wonderbolt, so...so introverted? I mean, there's no way you could've gotten by without being more social back in Canterlot!"

I can’t think of anything to say, instead I give her a blank look.

"Come on! Just spit out already!"

"I can explain... “, I pause, trying to think of what to say, "I was trying to say I didn't have the best home life growing up-"

"So what? I didn't come from much either." Dash quickly interjects.

At this, I pull my shirt off and extend my wings, only to point my back towards her; revealing the long scars that lay there. "It's not that I didn't come from much, I mean that might explain why I dress like a vagabond, but it’s that...I didn’t have parental figures growing up, no one I could look up to. You see, Dash, money don't fix everything, in fact, all the income my parents made, went directly to either food for them or alcohol... But rarely to feed me. They’d rather pay into their habits, than to take care of their own flesh and blood. I survived on whatever I could scrounge up, even going so far as to save lunch from school.

“When I was about ten, or I’m pretty sure ten? Few concussions have screwed my memory up, sorry... Let me rephrase that, as long as I can remember clearly, I was beat by my old man. Y’see those scars? Those are just the ones that left their marks. So many others have been healed over; those are the ones that burn the most. I got hit with whatever he had in his hand, or whatever he could get his hands on. See that long one?” I ask, pointing to the longest scar that runs the length of my back, “That’s from a whiskey bottle. Drunk bastard broke the thing over my head, and decided to slice my back up while I was passed out. Those other ones are from a myriad of things...leather belt, pieces of wood, et cetera... Like I said, I got hit with whatever was in his hand.

“He always told me I’d never amount to shit. That my dreams would never come true...and you know what? He was right. Sure, I made it big as a Wonderbolt, more than most ponies do, but I never wanted that lifestyle. That was an escape for me, a scapegoat for getting out. That’s it. You’ll probably laugh, but growing up I loved helping and guiding others.” I turn to show my shoulder, “Guess that’s why I got sun and arrow for a cutie mark... Too bad my parents didn't see anything in it. My dad told me it was worthless, that there wasn't a job out there that I could have to match my supposed talent. Fuck, to this day, I still partially believe him.

“If you’re wondering about my mom, the bitch never talked to me. I mean never, in all my nineteen years alive, not once has she said anything to me. And no, she isn't a mute. I know that for a fact, I heard every word she spoke when they fought. No matter my accomplishment, she would never even bat an eye at me. Not when I scored the game winning goal at the Equestria High School Lacrosse Championship, not when I earned my mark, and not even when I was invited to become a Wonderbolt. To this day, I can’t tell if it’s better she never talked to me or not.

"Heh, lacrosse... y'know, that game saved me from my own devices. It allowed me to vent all the anger I felt, allowed me to be as reckless as I could be, hell, it allowed me to just be me. It's fucked up to admit, but I laugh in pain, spat in the face of Death, himself. After years of pain, I don't know... you just get used to it. For most, they just stop feeling altogether, but me? I'm too fucked up... I welcomed it. Hell, I expected it... I played through games with illegally cut pads, all of which put me in harms way. From dislocating my shoulder, which I subsequently popped back into place, to plain concussions, I played through them all. Something primal always clicked when I felt myself hit the ground... I put myself into situations where I could be taken out, just for the adrenaline rush.

"That's the real me, though... A fucked up, self centered dick nut, who can't get over his past... Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Celestia herself took my soul, and my body burns in-" A hand grace the small of my back, massaging the widest scar. To this, I can’t say anything, the feeling numbs my brain. Using all the strength in my body, I muster up a muffled, “Thank you.”

Replacing the shirt back onto my body, I turn to see a distraught Rainbow Dash, tears flowing from her eyes, had sunk to both of her knees. Lifting up her head, I wipe the tears from her eyes, “Don’t cry, kid. That shit’s done with. For good. Just please, I hate to see a beautiful mare like you cry. Just ain’t right.” I outreach my hand to help the cyan mare up, and she happily accepts it.

“Thanks, Solar... It’s just that... I forced it out of you. I’m so sorry, I could see that it was painful to talk about... and moreover selfish of me for doing what I did.” She embraced me in a hug, “I hope you forgive me...”

“I never blamed you for anything in the first place, Dash... And you were right, I said I’d tell you about it. It was wrong of me to try and double back on that...” I pull her closer in, and for the first time in years, I allow a single tear to run down my cheek.

Author's Note

Not too sad, but hey, it's a little dark. Next chapter I'm thinking about having Torque Ignitor make a brief cameo appearance. For those of you who don't know who that is, head to Igniting Hope on my stories page. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and as always feel free to comment or pm me with questions, suggestions, or corrections,
-Theta
P.S. I rhymed without meaning to!

WELCOME TO THE SHOWWWWW...

The hug that we shared, which lasted only a few seconds, seemed like years. When enough time past, I simply let go, releasing both the cyan mare, and some of the remaining hatred I felt towards my parents.We carried on as best we could, making everything seem less...awkward. We accomplished success by talking. For hours, she sat and asked me all sorts of questions, some generic, and some more... interesting.

"Hey, Dash, I gotta jet soon... got anymore questions?"

"Yeah, just one more...I noticed at Wonderbolt show's that they have songs that play for each member that wins... So my question is, do you choose that song?, or is it chosen for you?"

"We're not pro wrestlers, Dash," I find myself chuckling at this remark, "We choose our own songs. Some, like Soarin, pick songs that the fans will like the most. However, the majority us find songs that hold sentimental values. I'm not sure if you ever came to one of my races, but the song they played for me was Fillies and Gentlecolts, the same song that was basically my high school lax team's theme. It'd be played before games, in between quarters, half time of course, and whenever we were down in the fourth quarter. Anyhow dude, I gotta get something in my gut. Peace!" I got up from the couch, and headed towards the door.

Right before I managed to lay a hand on the exit, I felt a tug at my arm. Looking back, it was,of course, Rainbow Dash who stopped me. "Hey... I know this wicked cool place in town, want to join me there? I'm pretty starved, too."

Uhh, this sounds like another date... She must really not want to leave me, fuck it. Might as well, right?

"Lead the way, dude." I give a half ass smirk, stomach rumbling.

"Sweet! I can't believe- I mean to say, cool, let me grab my bits and shoes."

"You surreee do hide your emotions well. On a serious note, don't worry bout it; dinner's on me."

She lightly punched my arm, "Thanks, smart ass. And are you sure, I mean this place can get pretty pricey..."

"Rainbow, I dropped a hundred grand on a car... trust me, this place can't be too expensive. Besides, it isn't very gentlecoltly of me to not pay for our date."

As I said date, Dash immediately lit up, just like the first time I had mentioned the word. "Okay, then Solar, that's really cool of you!"

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ten minutes later, Green Grass Pub

Within minutes of entering the building, we got seated. Whether that be because I'm a former Wonderbolt(our waiter nearly fainted upon realizing who I was), or just because business was slow, I didn't give a flying feather. When I'm hungry, nothing can get in the way between me and food. Well, except for one of my crazy ex's. Those mares scare the piss out of me.

"So, what'll ya have?" the waiter eagerly asked.

"Dash, you first..."

"Uhm, ok.... I'll have the garden salad, with ranch dressing. As for a drink, I'll have a glass of water; thank you."

"And you, sir?"

"I'll take an order of fish and chips. As for a drink, I'd like a manehattan. Thank you very much." I picked up both Dash's and my menus and handed them to the mare taking our order.

"Uhh, Hate to break it to you, but I don't think either of us are legal to drink..."

I flash a wide grin and confidently beam, "I got a fake I.D.! How do you think I bought all the liquor I wanted to back in Canterlot?"

She returns my smile, "You sly dog... mind buying me some drinks later?"

"For you? Probably, you'll have to remind me though; I plan to get shitfaced tonight. First rule of chilling with me; drink to get drunk. Write that down."

"I'll be honest with you Solar, I've...I've never drank before... If you have to laugh, do it right now." Dash stares straight down to the table, cheeks as red as an apple.

Somewhere in me, I wanted to laugh. But deep down, I know that it'd be best not to. One, not good for future endeavors. Two, wouldn't be right, I mean we are underage. "I'm not going to laugh. Honestly, it isn't that hard to believe, I mean we're only 19 dude. By Equestria law, we can't legally drink for two more years."

"Thanks... I guess you have a point there... I just hope you won't think I'm less cool because of it...."

"Rainbow Dash...only pony to pull of a sonic rainboom,uncool? Never in a million years."

Author's Note

So yeah... really tired. I'll add more in the next week...maybe. Lax schedule is getting out of hand. I'll try to make the next chapter longer. And less boring. And maybe even have some angst inside. No promises, I'm just one asian dude. I write math problems, not stories.(Just kidding, I'm terrible at math, definitely a better writer).
Peace,
Theta

Drunk in Ponyville: Hilarity ensues

The night so far had gone from classy drinks, and expensive wines, to us just drinking the most distilled liquor in the place. What started out with Manehattans and Martinis, soon descended into straight vodka and whisky. "Dashh I thinksh it'sabout time we...um we...leave! Ye-*hic* yeah, leave!" I slurred, turning the bottles of alcohol upside down, and eyeing them suspiciously. Not knowing how much to leave, I decide to just drop three, one hundred bit bills onto the table, trying to keep my balance as I stood up.

Dash got up too quickly, and found herself steadying her balance by hanging onto the table as she fell. The world around me seemed to fly by, and bounce about; eventually making me see doubles. "Whoa *hic* Solar...I-I feel warm an-*hic*-and really good! But I don't *hic* don't think I can fly in a shtraighttt lines... why are there two of you? G-Go away clone of Solar!"

I let out a hearty laugh, and nearly fall over from grabbing my gut, "Dash *hic* you're a cute drunk! Don't *hic* don't worry... you can maybe crashes at my place. It-It's not too far from here *hic*." I burp quietly, causing my face to scrunch up and Dash to laugh along with me.

We exit the facility, but not before knocking over a waiter and a few patrons sitting at tables. Stepping out into the night, we are greeted by the brisk fall air. A sudden gust of wind causes both Rainbow and I to topple over; she laughs, and I silently curse the pegasus who caused it. I become more self aware when I'm drunk, and the littlest thing can make me second guess myself. Unfortunately, the world around me began to fade, and blackness replaced all coherent thoughts.

"Ughhh", is all I can muster up. I awake to find myself miraculously in my bed, with a forty ounce in hand...Something doesn't feel right... I mean, everything is as it should be, but something just feels... off. I look over to my right, and see the usual yellow wall, and to my left... Dude, someones in my bed... I carefully lift the sheets, not wanting to wake whoever is in my bed. From a first glance, I incurred that said pony is a mare, and a pegasus from how her wing sticks out of the blanket. Slowly, I pull the cover from the mare, and it revealed to be non other than the pony I was out with the night before: Rainbow Dash.

Nothing seems to weird about Dash...Hmm, all of her cloth- Nevermind... I came to realize that she wasn't wearing what I initially took as fur tight clothes. I literally can't think straight, as I try to recall what happened last night. I sit up, and scratch the back of my head; which turned into me rubbing my temples in an attempt to calm my pounding head ache. Somewhere along the line, I feel a tug on my arm, and turn to see Rainbow trying to burrow herself in my side. I find myself unable to think, and as a result, I embraced it; and wrapped one arm around her neck, setting my beer down with the other, and carefully sliding back down to snuggle against her... I quickly deadpan as I realize, If I can't remember last night, then how the hell would she?

I drifted back into sleep, trying to ponder how I was going to ask her if she remembered anything.

Author's Note

Finally out, sorry it's so damn short...but I think I got some progression going on here. Even if it was done in a drunken stupor. By the way, this chapters name is a parody of a short story by Tucker Max.

The Day After: What the Fudgy Stuff?

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit! What the fucking fuck happened last night? Oh Celestia I'm going to- The feeling of three hundred men ran up my throat, and before I know it, I'm in my bathroom; bent over my toilet, and inaugurating the E.S.S. Vomit Comet. When I say it just came up, it CAME up...with a vengance. "Oh sweet Celestia...that old saying is bull shit...pfft beer before liquor never sicker, liquor before beer, you're in the cle-" A sudden urge hit my gut, and another round of puke began.

It's a miracle I found the toilet; I forgot to turn the light on in the midst of chaos. I went to hit the lights, but soon realize a crucial mistake; This isn't the bathroom... With a buzz, the lights came on and before me was a puddle of orange-red vomit. What makes it worse, is that it's sitting in my closet. Staring at me, taunting me. I am literally about to shit bricks...FUDGY STUFF this is going to take FOREVER to clean up, and then another eternity to get rid of the smell-Oh for the love of- The aroma of a digested meal, along with moonshine, and partially consumed vodka hits my nose. Backing up, I run into the one pony who I absolutely didn't want to see this...

Laughter fills my ears, as I turn around gripping my head, "Not so loud, Dash, I got a wicked hangover. As you can see right there, I emptied most of my gut, along with anything stuck in my lower intestines."

"I'm sorry, Solar, but this is priceless! Just think about this; headlines in the newspaper saying, 'EX WONDERBOLT ALREADY WASHED UP-IN HIS OWN VOMIT'. I mean, let's rationalize this, I could go to the press... there are a certain three little fillies who would be all ears to this story..."

"You better fucking not... I might tell the Wonderbolts that you've become a binge drinker then! Maybe tell Soarin about how you can barely keep your pants on after a few drinks.", A sinister grin appeared on my face, as I knew I had this mare cornered.

"Go right ahead! What would I care? I'm taken, it's not like I'm trying to impress him anymore.", Dash extended her hand, revealing (what looks like) a very, very expensive diamond ring, "As of last night, I'm officially married to Solar Runner; the fastest Wonderbolt to ever step foot on their race track."

Internally and externally I freeze in place. I'm happy, confused, and a little scared of what went down twenty four hours ago. Out of every word in the dictionary, my brain decides to pick, "Cool..."

My brain finally started functioning again, What the holy fucking crown happened?!?! I mean I guess I'm happy, but what the fuck? Am I ready for this commitment? For children? For the whole nine yards? I mean what if we-

Something warm pressed up against me, and before I knew what was happening, I had Dash in my arms, sweetly making out with her. And by sweetly, I really mean it was a feral, animalistic kiss that looked like we're trying to eat each others faces. She pulls away instantly, leaving me puckering like a complete fool, "Solar you there? Finally, I thought connection to your head got disconnected for a second. And blech...you need to bleach your mouth or something... Celestia you're lucky we're married.Anyway, down to business, where should we live? I mean I have a mansion in the sky! What's cooler than that? Plus, I have a personal gym, fully stocked refrigerator, and let's not forget the indoor pool and hot tub!"

I deadpan as I realize the real reason she wants me to go there, "Rainbow Dash, are you suggesting this because it's less work?"

Her eyes grew wide, and I knew I hit the nail on the head. "N-no! I was suggesting it because, y'know, it's bigger and more comfortable and stuff.."

"I don't care, dude. I just knew there was an ulterior motive to you wanting me to move in with you. I'll pack up my shit and head over later today...Damn, what am I going to do with my car?"

"...Solar, you crashed your car last night...it's in the Ponyville dump...", Rainbow shook me with the stunning comment.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Gah, that car cost more than everything I own! Hell, it probably costs more than this neighborhood! Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck..." I started pacing back and forth in a cold sweat.

Rainbow giggles a little, before bursting out laughing. Through heavy breathes, she manages to mouth, "I...can't...believe...you...fell...for it! Your car is where you left it when you arrived! We never even took it out!"

My mind exploded. I, quite literally, had just been mind fucked. Guess it's true women are mind terrorists... "You understand, I am going to get you back really, really, REALLY bad, right?"

"So worth it!"

"Uhh Dash, I just noticed something...you're still naked...", my voice becomes monotone, and I can only stare, and feel the blood gush out through my nose.

Author's Note

So here it is, pumped it out because the voices told me to. For you anime/manga readers out there, I threw in the last bit just for you guys.
-Theta

Moving: Accidents and All

Heh...I think I can get used to seeing her like that... "Solar! Wake up, you're bleeding out here!", Rainbow's voice appeared from nowhere.

I quickly shake my head, and take notice of the light blinding my eyes, "Ugh, who turned the sun up? And why am I on the ground?"

"You...you passed out after you caught a glimpse of these," I looked down, only for my eyes to bug out of my skull at the sight of medium sized, cyan breasts, "Heh, they are awesome, no wonder you passed out."

"Y-You caught me off guard! I've seen lots of women n-naked before! Besides, I barely noticed a tit-a thing!", I stammer, tripping over every word.

"Funny, because last night you happened to mention a small detail.... I'm your first! Let's just say, your endurance training reallyyy paid off!", Rainbow trailed off, her cheeks on fire.

"I was drunk! Besides, I don't remember much of anything last night, so for all I know, I'm still a virgin!," Dash immediately grinned, while it sinks in; I just revealed the one secret that I was trying to fight, "You...I...Fuck! I'm done talking."

The next few hours were hell; nonstop laughter emitted from Dash, so much to the point I was almost worried she would die from the lack of oxygen. Almost. I continued to pack my boxes, and avoid conversation with Rainbow. Which worked, really well, to be honest. Until about half way through the afternoon, when I realized I owned more than I had thought. Sixty three boxes- Sixty fucking three! I really need to throw stuff out... Or should have, this is a big fucking pain.

"Need any help yet, Mr. Wonderbolt?," Dash asked in a sarcastic manner. I gave no response, and she continued on, "Y'know Solar, I was tempted to help you, but I got even more tempted to go and get a nice massage at the spa!"

"...I need your help..."

"What's that? Almost sounded like a colt was practically begging for help! I wonder if I should acknowledge his plea..." Dash continued to tease.

With boxes still resting on my back, I grunt, "Dash I really fucking need your help..."

CRACK

I woke up in Rainbow's living room, on the couch to be precise. Around me are the twenty boxes I failed to move, and on my back is something cold... I hope that's ice. Fuck whatever it is, feels great! "Hey, dude, you here?," I yell out, my voice cracking slightly; indicating a dry throat. Damn, which one of these boxes has my vodka in it? For the next ten minutes, I looked in every box, shoving everything around looking for a large bottle.

"Shit...just my luck. I'll bet it's in one of the boxes upstairs...," I trailed off as I heard someone enter the room.

"For a world class athlete, you aren't very smart. You had me worried, and still have me feeling guilty...You're a real asshat.," I turned around to see a downtrodden Dash.

With a little pain, I stand up and walk/limp over to her; and embrace her in a tight hug. Silently, I whisper, "It kinda was your fault.," I let go, and look her in the eyes once more. The sadness was still there, but it's slowly being replaced with happiness.

"You're a jerk... But I guess I'm lucky you're my jerk. Oh, and you should rest up, we got somewhere to go in about two hours."

"Shittttttt. My back hurtsss, do we have to?," I started to mock whine.

"Oh don't give me that crap, I made sure to order you a 'Bloody Marey' in advance."

"Shit, one day and you already know me too well. I guess tomorrow I'll have to learn everything about you...hopefully this time I'll retain that information.," I let out a dry laugh. Dash, on the other hand, didn't find it funny, and punched me in the arm, "Ah, I was kidding! Of course I'll remember this time around! I'm going to go lay down... Where's the bedroom? I'd rather rest on a bed than a couch."

"Up the stairs, second door on the left.," Rainbow answered as she leaves the room.

It takes about twenty minutes to get up the stairs, the railing providing no help for my injured back. Mainly because I fell half way to the steps, and had to crawl up the stair case. I...I partially hate my life. After making it up the stairs, I continue to crawl down the hall, and into the bedroom. "Wooh! Success, I made it!"

"Congrats, I bet you're really proud of your time.," Dash cut in on my celebration. I look around the room, and notice she's sitting in the bed.

"How the hay did you get up here?"

"Well, while you desperately crawled, I walked right next to you, and passed you while you were on the first stair. Oh, and this is payback for making me feel bad earlier."

...This marriage is a match made in Heaven. Celestia, this chick is awesome! "Well played. Well played, indeed. Now, the next order of business; I will attempt to crawl into the bed. In less than five minutes."

Five minutes later

"Almost...there!" I quickly crawled up the side of the bed and started to hoist myself up, when something caught my eye. Is she wearing a light blue topppppholy fucking Princesses!

She looks over with a devious grin, and playfully adds, "Surprise, hope I can make you feel better before we have to leave..."

Author's Note

Finally an update! And this might lead into clop, still not sure how I feel about writing that. Also would have to change the rating... I digress, sorry this is so short. Been going through periods where I'm fucking writing a shit ton, and then I get dry spells... Oh well, fuck it. Here it is, hope you enjoy this short ass chapter.
P.S. I love you. Maybe.

Retirement

“And finishing first is Solar Runner!” The announcer called out as I cross the finish line.

The crowd went wild with cheers, both of joy and disappointment. No doubt they thought I’d lose. The first thing on my mental checklist is to grab a towel, and wipe off the sweat that accumulated during the race, the second is to grab the liver tabs and brewers yeast that lay in my bag. Doing this, I pop the cap off of both and pour out eight of each, and by twos, swallow them along with some water.

My hands and legs are shaking from exhaustion, the lactic acids burning the worst in my shins. Nothing new, but it always amazed me why they did such a thing, or even why I still felt the slight pain that I did. It’s not like I wasn't used to this sort of thing, ten years of lacrosse prepped me for it. Well, for the most part...just being invited to be a Wonderbolt doesn't mean you don’t have to improve. If anything, that’s what pushes one farther. For the past year I've eaten really small meals, been to many upper society parties, and have even met Celestia herself. Yet not once has any of that ever paid off.

The small meals mean that I’m hungry all the time. Parties might sound fun, but they aren't my forte...at least not these kind. No, all they are, are the rich belittling the poor, spreading rumors about anyone and everyone. Showcasing how money can hollow out one’s being. Most would kill for a chance to even be in Celestia’s presence, but I had the luxury of holding a conversation with her. Don’t get me wrong, it was amazing to speak to a princess, but in the long run it was just trivial.

I wince as I swallow the last of the pills, and slowly walk back to the locker room to take a shower and change. As my locker closes, I take a towel, and head for the showers. The hot water was pure bliss over my muscles. Everything relaxed, and the strain from the race no longer lingered.

Thank the Creator that this was my last race. Can’t handle this shit anymore.

I shut off the water, and wrap the towel around my waist. Walking out, I change into my usual grey hoodie, white t-shirt, and torn up jeans. For whatever lay ahead, I was ready. Whatever I encounter in Ponyville, I’ll stand tall. Whoever I face, I will-

“Hey, kid, congrats on winning the race. It’s a shame to see you leave so soon.” a raspy voice cut into my thoughts. Looking over, I see that it’s Soarin who congratulated me...

“Thanks man. Gotta say, without you, I wouldn’t even be here. Thank you for everything you’ve done man, I owe every bit I earned to you. I’ll keep in touch, if it’s any consolation.” I reply with a chipper tone.

That made his smile widen. “No prob. Honestly, you helped us more than we helped you. Wonderbolt merch is jumping! Plus the fact that people were gambling nonstop to either bet against or for you. Heh... Still, it’s sad to see you leave. Can’t really say much else, but I wish you good wherever you go, man.”

“Thanks man, I’m going to Ponyville,come visit if you're in town. Hell, I’ll hear about where you guys'll be. I’ll miss y’all, that's for sure...but this shit, just ain’t for me.” I say with regret in my voice.

“Don’t sweat it. This lifestyle isn’t right for everyone. Anyway, I gotta get going...Spitfire won’t be too happy if I’m late to dinner. Again man, it’s been great...but I guess this is goodbye, bro.”

“Peace, Soarin. Thanks for the opportunity. It helped me escape some shit I’d rather not talk ‘bout.” And with that, we slapped fives and went our separate directions.

I hope those two get married one of these days, it’s already been two years since they started dating. Wild heaven, baby.

I had cleared out my locker yesterday, so the only thing left was the bag I brought in. I casually toss the two pill bottles back into it, and shimmy the sling across my shoulder. Walking out to the parking lot of the Canterlot stadium, I’m surprised to find that no one followed me tonight. No crazy fan, no drunken idiot, there was nothing and no one. Thank Celestia.

I climb into the driver seat of my SRT Viper, the one thing I bought on impulse. Bright red accented by a black stripe that runs down the middle of the car. The only problem is that it only seats two. Great for dates, but terrible for just about everything else. I have to admit though, it’s fucking sweet. I dropped about a hundred grand on it, which was the salary from my first three races. Not bad, seeing as how it’s a year later, and somewhere around forty races later.

It starts with ease, and I carefully shifted it into first gear. Upon exiting the stadium parking, I put it into second, then third. Next stop:Ponyville. I had movers take all of my stuff to the house a week ago, leaving only what I could fit into the small trunk of my car.

Goodbye snobs, goodbye city life, and thank Celestia, goodbye paparazzi!

I turn on the radio, only to be disappointed by the late night playlists. I approach a stoplight, and decide to pull out my mePod, and connect it to my stereo...I can't be held responsible for any 'disturbances' that I cause. I like my music loud, helps drown out everything around me. My car blasts one my favorite songs: Equestria Psycho II. The playlist will only get better from here, and I have all night to jam out.

After an hour, and many songs later, I spot a sign with "Ponyville 20 miles" on the right of me, Thank the Creator, I'm tired as fuck. I yawn as I think this, and decide its best to crank up the radio even louder to keep me awake. I am soon told this is a bad idea, as Trouble soon takes over.

NOOOOOOOO TROUBLE'S AT MY DOOR!!!!!

B-Real's ear splitting voice shattered my ear drums, and I quickly fumble to turn the volume down. Finally doing so, the song ends, and I am left with about fifteen more minutes until I reach Ponyville, and fifteen minutes until 1 A.M., probably isn't the best idea to wake the town up for my own selfish reasons. Rolling up the windows, I also turn the speakers down even more. Next on my playlist;The Space Between. The one song that makes me reflect on my past, has to come on right as I'm about to start over. Now, all I can remember is the pain that they caused me...

Author's Note

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFMfc1gx6Cw -Trouble, Cypress Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=my02R7FCX2k&list=PLE8BU3Dt5TqOWnwIgoK51YVElMptvedbD&index=13- American (Equestria) Psycho II, B-Real feat. Eminem & Bizzare
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H67uEgRZs2Y - The Space Between, Dave Matthews Band

Chapter two will introduce some of the mane 6, some background ponies, and will have other surprises to it. Oh and those links are just for those of you who want to listen to the songs I mentioned in chapter one. I will do this a lot if songs come up in the story.

Going Nowhere

Educated, even graduated, wish I woulda been a little more dedicated, and got something more out of school, instead of playing the fool...But even if I did for just one day, whether I would and wanted to say it, it wouldn't have made a difference anyway, because no ones listening. This is where I'm at, the bills come no matter what, I'm all grown up;but still going nowhere.

The vocals of Jay Cherry rings through my ears, and a realization dawns on me; that last line fits my life perfectly. Hmph, How cliche to say...what am I, in high school again? At this I let out a brief laugh, and continue what I'm doing. The recent events in town have made me contemplate just telling everyone I'm an ex-Wonderbolt, I mean it's not as if either of those two mares even tried to keep it a secret...a rumor like that is sure to spread like wildfire.

I reach into a box labeled 'WONDERBOLT GEAR', and pull out a hoody with 'S. RUNNER' on the back, and the famous logo on the front. What's the worst that can happen? I think, as I pull the hoody over my head.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

2:45 P.M., let's jet.
______________________________________________________________________________

After Rainbow Dash and I parted, the walk around town could be described as awkward at best. All around, I could see others turn their heads toward me, and focus all their energy on trying to see through a nonexistent facade. It only took one person to recognize me for others to follow suit. Just wish I met a more subtle pony... Maybe one that isn't too extroverted. Oh well, that shit's in the past now.

After a quick stroll through town(along with meeting many ponies, making note of a certain pink mare) I simply went back home, and unpacked the five boxes that held miscellaneous items. Two of the five containing my clothes, one with mementos, and the last couple with lacrosse gear. For the most part, I just tossed the clothes into stacks beside my bed, and stacked the boxes into a makeshift bedside table, but quickly knocked it down; remembering that I had nothing of importance to put there. As for the lax gear, I just shoved it into the closet at the foot of my bed.

Maybe one day soon, I'll break you guys out, but don't bank on it.

______________________________________________________________________________

I am hesitant to step out the door, deciding whether or not wearing a Wonderbolt hoody is the best idea. I mean the whole point of me moving here was to not be known about. And here I go, brandishing one of the most iconic clothing in Equestria. It's now or never...let's do this shit. I walk out the door, and make my way towards Sugar Cube Corner, but not before getting looks of awe and multiple ponies stop me for an autograph; Can't let down the fans, right?

If they didn't know before, they sure as hell knew that a Wonderbolt is among them. Which, honestly, I'm betting that most didn't even hear of my arrival, so doing this was a huge mistake.Fuck me...I really need to slow my shit. Celestia be damned, didn't I have someone for this kind of thing not that long ago? No, wait, I'm thinking of a dream I had...Speaking of dreams, why the shit can't I remember mine?

I slowly approach the bakery, signing the last of many pieces of paper, and walk inside to be greeted by Rainbow Dash. She waves me over, and by the looks of it, had already ordered multiple sweets. I hesitantly approach the table, and take a seat across from the mare. "Uhh, sup?" I ask in an audibly nervous voice.

"Nothin' much, just chillin'. Find this place easy?"

"Yeah, you're right, it sticks out like a sore thumb." I glance down at the table, and notice the best baked good to ever be created; chocolate cake. "Dude, that cake looks delish, mind if I grab a slice?" I noticeably perk up at the sight of the cake.

"Go for it, I mean it is your favorite, right?" Rainbow asks in an embarrassed voice.

"Hell yeah! Chocolate cake is the best shit to come out of an oven since...since, well it's the best thing to come out of an oven..." I speak with my eyes fixed on the cake, and I reach out to slice a piece from the spongy wonder. Through a mouth of cake, I manage to mumble "Thiff if foo gooff! Howf didf you know thiff waff my favorite?"

"Umm...Pony Magazine... They did an article about the Wonderbolts...specifically about you. They had a picture of you pigging out on a chocolate cake, so I just figured you liked it, heh heh." She nervously admitted.

Finally swallowing the last of the cake, I speak clearly, "Shit, those gossip columns actually got something right...I'll be damned."

"So...um...Solar, can I ask you a few questions?"

"For the mare that just bought me cake, you can ask whatever you want!"

"Alright my first question is, what was it like as an up and coming rookie?"

"It was alright, too much media attention though. Those first few months were hell, couldn't walk out the door and not be followed by a group of paparazzi. After a while, though, it died down."

"Did you give anything up in your diet? If so, did you pick anything up?"

"I had to cut back drastically on the amount of food I ate. While it wasn't against any sort of rule, it was a standard that everypony followed. I didn't really pick anything up, if anything I just upped the dose of protein supplements I take. Dessicated liver and brewers yeast yield amazing results." as I said liver, she scrunched her nose and looked at me with a questioning face.

Skip ahead one hour

"Alright my final question is...where are you from, and what are your parents like? I mean that's the only thing a Wonderbolts fan can't learn about you...It's like you slid under the radar there."

"I...um..." I internally flinch, "I don't want to talk about that..."

"What the hay!?! I mean I pay for a whole cake, and you even answered all the questions I've asked so far, so why not this one???"

"Ms. Rainbow...please, that's a question that brings up bad memories, man."

"Come on, Solar! Just tell me! You owe me...I paid thirty bits for that cake you only ate one slice of!"

Oh Creator, she's making me feel guilty now...damn my conscience.

"Gah, fuck it...you win...but please, can we talk about this somewhere, y'know, more private?"

"Ugh, fine. Follow me, let's go back to my house in the sky. No one ever visits up there, it'll be me, you and the clouds." she rolled her eyes at this, "Hey Pinkie! Save the cake on my table for me!" she screamed as we exit the bakery.

"Try to keep up, loverboy!" she says as she takes off.

Can't focus on a race if I gotta tell you my life story... one or the other, but not both, Rainbow Dash.

Author's Note

Soooo yeah, pm me or put in comments anything that should be changed (as in errors with grammar and tenses). The opening line is from this song.

So yeah, enjoy dudes and lady dudes.