The Wonderous Misadventures of Doctor Whooves

by JWR832

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 14664

Follow Doctor Whooves and his lovely companion, Derpy, as they travel through space and timey-wimey stuff!

The assorted tales of a Time Lord-turned-stallion and his wall-eyed pegasus assistant. What adventures will there be along the way? And will there be PEARS?

I reference the actual series, so dealwithit.jpg. Also, Doctor Whooves takes the place of the Eleventh Doctor. If something flies way the fuck over your head and you don't watch Doctor Who IRL, then it's probably from the real episodes. Yeah. Why are you still reading this.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-30 04:17:25 UTC

Arc I Part 1: I've Had Better Regenerations

It was a wonderful night for stargazing. The air was without a single sound, and Ponyville was blissful and serene. Not a single Cutie Mark Crusaders "nighttime experimental expedition" to be seen. Twilight relished in how convenient it was that she'd find an open spot in her packed schedule on such a brilliant evening. Why, the euphoric moment of taking in yet another spectacularly crafted starscape by Princess Luna almost went uninterrupted by the careening object soaring through the skies uncontrollably...almost.

The bright streak blazing through the cloudless air was caught quickly by Twilight's vision, and upon further inspection through her telescope, it certainly wasn't a meteorite. In fact, it looked to have a definitive box-like shape, but that was hard to prove though the mask of flames it maintained as it continued its course for ground. Her curiosity forced her to keep a firm gaze of fascination locked on the mysterious object all the way until it hit the ground. A burst of light came from around the area of where it struck. After about a second, she realized the location where the craft, or package, or ship, or whatever it was hit. Sweet Apple Acres. "Spike!" the lavender unicorn shouted as she galloped frantically around her tree home, readying for first contact.

Oh no. This isn't good. Oh nonononononono. Something had gone terribly wrong in The Doctor's regeneration process. While he was still cooking, he crossed into another dimension through a riff created by the sudden energy shift that took his previous form's life. Thankfully, it sealed itself up as quick as it was opened due to the laws of the space-time continuum.  However, that was not the problem at hand. Instead, it was that the problem at hand was actually the problem at hoof.

It was a shame, really. He'd just gotten used to having fingers and hands again, too. Although, hooves was better than being a pure mass of recently exploded energy. "Beeping. Where's that beeping coming from? Oh-oh I can hear, that's good, but where's that beeping...ah! The coordinate display. I'm...falling. Lovely. Gotten quite used to that. Okay, I am falling...rapidly!" He pulled down a series of levers and fiddled with various buttons whilst talking to himself. "Alright, I've fallen rapidly before. It's not fun, but I can do it. It's um, um, this...this thing controls the altitude right? No...it's uh...it's oh bloody hell I'm screwed..." Unfortunately, the memories part of his brain hadn't quite fully developed yet, and at such an opportune time as well. Now was not the time to pout, now was the time, for action! It was time to-smash. ...hit the ground.

Applejack awoke to the sound of Winona barking her throat hoarse. (A/N: HA SEE WHAT I DID THERE WITH THE PUNS AND THE HOARSE BECAUSE THEY'RE PONIES WHICH ARE HORSES AND oh fuck you guys that was funny) She was an early riser, that's for sure, but 2:14 A.M. was just too early. "Aw horsefeathers, Winona. Will yah quit yappin'?" She rolled herself off her bed and glared at the dog. Winona whimpered a little, before AJ scratched her ear and the sad demeanor was gone. Almost instantaneously, she was back to her previous actions; barking.

Now Applejack noticed though, she was barking out the window. Specifically, barking towards something. 2:15 A.M., dark out, Winona barking, so she added two and two together and came to the somewhat logical conclusion.

Someone was robbing Sweet Apple Acres.

"Whoo...been a while since I've been in a good crash..." a messy and dirty Doctor Whooves climbed out of the TARDIS and fell to the grass. He opened his eyes and stared into the bright milky moon above him. He couldn't help but let a smile come across his face. The Doctor felt it was a wonderful night to be crashing into fields. Whooves couldn't help but feel a craving. It'd been a long time since he'd had a craving, but now it came back to him how awesome it felt. Right now he had a craving for...apples. He sat up onto his haunches. The Doctor surprised himself with how well he'd adjusted to being a pony so fast. He took a good, long look around. Sweet merciful God, there were rows and rows of apple trees.

"I'm in heaven." He quickly galloped over to one of the many trees. Now was the perfect time for our resident time pony to remember that he couldn't get them. After a few quick, hopeless jumps at various branches, yielding equal amounts of failure, he remembered that useful tool of his, the sonic screwdriver. A few blasts of it towards the trunk ended up with a few apples on the floor in front of his feet- er - hooves. The delicious-looking red fruit seemed to glimmer just as it would during day time in the Moon's vanilla glow. He took a big chunk of the apple with a large bite.

The Doctor spat it right back out onto the green immediately. "Blimey, that's bad. I hate apples. I've never liked apples, taste utterly terrible." Stomping on it with one of his forehooves for extra effect, he walked away. "Well...this is a farm. I'm sure they have more than one crop on a farm." Whooves' eyes scanned as best as they could in the darkness. Thankfully, the sonic screwdriver saved him once more. Setting it to another function, a scan overlay popped out and began to cover what was in its path with a holographic layout which bore resemblance to a grid, taking readings. "Aha! Carrots!"

30 seconds later...

"Bah, that's terrible. I hate carrots, always hated 'em. Just orange sticks coming out of the ground really."

Another 30 seconds later...

"Bloody hell that's awful! Aw man, corn's just the worst. It's all yellow and knobby and...and...just ew."

This carried on for quite some time.

Twilight found herself at the door of the second-to-last of her friends' houses. She'd managed to gather up Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, much to all of their dismay. After explaining to them the potentially deadly situation though, they all understood. The last stop on the tour of potential salvation was Fluttershy. The purple unicorn brought her hoof to the door and knocked. She was greeted after a few moments by a visibly tired and angry Angel.

"Oh, hello Angel. Could you get Fluttershy for me?" Twilight asked. The offer was met with a shake of the head representing no and a door slammed in her face. She sighed, and teleported the four of them inside. While she had the ability to do it in the first place, she liked to maintain some manner of politeness and courtesy. The group made their way up the stairs and to Fluttershy's room, where she was fast asleep. "Fluttershy...Fluttershy wake up...Fluttershy..." Twilight half-whispered to her.

"Fluttershy, wake up!" shouted Rainbow Dash. The other three shot her an angry glare, which she returned an embarrassed grin and shrug to. The yellow pegasus in question shot up with a start gasping for breath, before she caught her friends in her vision.

"Oh, it's just you guys. What are you doing here at this hour? If-if you don't mind me asking..." Fluttershy questioned them. While she was the Element of Kindness, she didn't really appreciate being woken up at 3 in the morning.

"There's an emergency at Sweet Apple Acres! Some strange object crashed down into what was I'm pretty sure one of the orchards, and Applejack could in danger!" Pinkie explained rather quickly and enthusiastically.

Fluttershy gasped, and then said, "No! We've gotta help her right away!" with a determined look on her face. She bolted out of the room and was almost out the door before Twilight managed a quick teleportation spell while she was still in her range. The gang appeared at Sweet Apple Acres quickly. "Oh...r-right..." the yellow pegasus said with a blush on her face, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I could really go for some fish fingers and custard right now. Wait, does that even exist here? More importantly, do ponies even eat fish, let alone meat? Man, that would suck." The Doctor said as he paced around the various plants. He'd exhausted every vegetable and fruit available in the hopes of satisfying his hunger, each to no avail. For a farm, the food sucked. He really hoped that it wasn't the only supplier in the area. Despite that, he had greater issues at the moment. The Doctor needed to look at least somewhat presentable if he was going to be in a strange universe. After all, there was a reputation for him and Time Lords to uphold, even if there was only one left.

Does this place even have clothes? I mean I'm a horse, so I don't think I need anything to wear but I gotta have something. Just like a tie maybe. Yeah...a bow tie, that won't make me stand out too much. That stuff back at the TARDIS certainly wouldn't'v-shit...the TARDIS. He frantically looked from side to side. To the Time Lord's dismay, Whooves hadn't exactly watched where he was trotting during his thoughts. His self-disappointment rung out loud, "Gah-I'm a blithering fool!" and he smacked himself in the head with his right forehoof. "Wait...wait, wait, wait," he paced between two apple trees and thought to himself. It was a new model. It was a new model!

"Of course! The engines will be phasing soon and that means I can just follow the sound. I couldn't have stumbled too far...could I?" the breakthrough out-loud was soon met with the sudden intake of the sheer size of this orchard. There were probably enough apples here to feed an entire kingdom. The Doctor couldn't help but let his jaw unhinge a bit. He said half-heartedly, "W-w-well uh...I'm sure a blue police box will stick out against all these trees. Especially the crater." With that, Whooves continued his trot through the fields, hoping for the best.

The countless fruit-covered pillars seemed to go on for forever. Even an experienced space traveler like himself couldn't decipher where exactly he was. Of course, there was the occasional empty bucket lying around, but besides that 15 feet east looked exactly like 15 feet west. Or south. Or north. Or southeast. Or Vwooom. What the... Another Vwooom The earth stallion's mind clicked. "Aha! The engines!" He took off in almost a full gallop towards where he heard it from. Dodging tree after tree and bobbing and weaving between obstacles, he soon found himself at his landing-er-crashing sight. The TARDIS was there just like when he left it: half-covered in dirt, sticking out at a weird angle, but now emitting a bright glow from inside every three or so seconds. Never before had The Doctor been so happy to see his baby.

"Ah, yes, okay. We've established contact with the TARDIS. Now it's probably best if I take her to that Moon up there. Is that a moon? Yeah, yeah it looks like a moon," he said to himself as he walked over and cleared bits of earth off it. "After that, I should probably try to establish contact with the locals. Locals...are there any locals here?"

"Yer darn tootin' there are."

"Huh?" was all the Time Lord could say before he felt like two bricks struck the side of his head and he went tumbling to the ground in darkness.

Arc I Part 2: TARDIS Crisis

"Ah...bloody hell..." The Doctor grumbled under his breath as his senses started to return to him. His head throbbed like nothing he'd ever felt before, and that was coming from a man who'd died roughly 20 times. He tried to bring a forehoof up to rub his aching head, but found that he wasn't able to do so. Oh God, did they chop my arm off! Doctor Whooves' panicked and somewhat-irrational thought caused him to start struggling, which led him to discover he was tied to a tree. He looked down and saw that his midsection was tied to one of many apple trees in the vicinity. Right, I was in a farm of some sort last night... he thought.

Whooves struggled some more against the wood, making an apple fall right on top of his head. He cried out in further agony, "Ow!" and grimaced some more. He opened his eyes and was met with vibrant sunlight, adding further discomfort. Well this is just dandy.

"I think he's awake..."

"What's that...shy?"

"I-I...ink he's comin...to." Well, it sounds like some people are having a conversation. Wonder who that "he" is. Oh. Wait.

"I'll kick his flank! Lemme at him!" Shit.

"Nah hold on Rainbow! Let's give tha stallion ah chance to explain 'imself." Thank you country bumpkin.

The Doctor finally opened his eyes fully and was met with an interesting sight to say the least. Six technicolor ponies stood before him. The one farthest to the left and cowering in fear whilst hiding behind her pink mane was yellow and had...wings? He blinked his eyes twice and confirmed she did indeed have wings that were tucked neatly at her side. Apparently, there were horses and pegasi in this odd world. The one next to her was pink and hopping up and down excitedly with a grin on her face that looked like it'd tear the skin on her face clean off. It probably wasn't too healthy for her. Next to the hyper one was an orange horse that appeared to be the one with the odd accent from earlier based off her Stetson hat. How were there even Stetson hats here? Eh, makes about as much sense as everything else. Doctor Whooves thought to himself. In the center of the formation was a lavender pony with a horn. Correction: there were horses, pegasi, and unicorns. Interesting. She had a dark mane with a bright streak down the middle and was looking at him quizzically. On her left was another pegasus, albeit hovering in the air, this one cyan like the sky and with a prismatic mane and tail that held the colors of the rainbow. That one was probably "Rainbow". The last of the ponies was an ivory unicorn with a curly violet mane. Even though he'd only been a pony since last night, she looked strikingly beautiful.

Then The Doctor realized he was staring.

Whooves asked with a puzzled look on his face, "Oh-uh, uh, who exactly are you?"

"Well waht were y'all doin' on Sweet Apple Acres!?" the Southern-sounding pony asked him. She just screamed apples. She even had a tattoo of three apples on her thigh. He saw the center unicorn shoot her a disapproving glare and the orange horse backed away a little.

Her calm exposition returned once she turned back to him and said, "I'm Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most faithful student. Although, may I ask what you're doing here on Applejack's property?" Right...that orange one's name is Applejack. I bet she's the one that knocked me out...

He tried to explain as best as he could with his headache, courtesy of Apples and Apple Accessories over here, "I crashed here I believe after a little emergency. Although, I'd appreciate it if I could see my TARDIS." That request was met with blank stares. "Ya know...the blue box that was in the dirt?" The clarification caused a chorus of "Oooooooooohs..." from his captors.

The blue one rubbed the back of her neck and chuckled nervously, "Well...we didn't really know what do with it, so we took it into town and it's being looked at or somethin'."

One thought in his mind.OH.

FUCKING.

SHIT.

He spoke lowly at first, almost a whisper, "You," then his eye twitched and he practically exploded, "You what!?" [insert u wot m8 joke here] All of the ponies flinched back at his outburst. The yellow pegasus was practically pulling an ostrich and trying to dig her head into the dirt at this point. The Doctor was pretty sure he saw the white unicorn swoon and faint.

The once hyperactive pony stopped her bouncing and adopted a less happy, but maintained a semi-cheerful expression nonetheless, "What's wrong, mister?"

"We've gotta get that TARDIS now!" Doctor Whooves replied as he started to squirm against his bonds.

"Nah wait just ah minute here, y'all ain't goin' nowhere!" Apples and Apple Accessories yelled back at him.

"Yes! Yes I am! Because if you don't want all the ponies in that town to die, you're gonna get me out of here and I'm gonna try as I can to stop the engines from phasing so it won't overload and destroy this entire bloody town! Now for God's sake help me!" He resorted to trying to gnaw through the top layer of rope, but it was hopeless.

That rainbow pegasus flew right into his face and interrogated him, "Why should we believe you, huh!? What if you're just gonna try to kill us or something if we let you go? You tried to rob Sweet Apple Acres for Celestia's sake!" she repeatedly jabbed her forehoof into his muzzle on the last sentence.

"Gah! This is bloody hopeless!" He spotted his Sonic Screwdriver on the ground near his left hindhoof. With some skillful kicking and one horribly failed attempt, The Doctor was able to kick it into his mouth.

"Just what the hay do you think you're doing!?" questioned Rainbow.

Nope! Not putting up with your bullshit right now! he thought to himself as he continued to struggle with the Sonic Screwdriver in his mouth. Tongues were nowhere near as effective as fingers or hooves even. Miraculously, he turned it on and it fired right down the rope and into the ground, very nearly taking out his, um, you know. Doctor Whooves sprung up before they could say anything and immediately took off.

"Oh no ya don't, get back here!" The Doctor felt himself get tackled to the ground as that dastardly pegasus took him down. This was starting to get extremely frustrating for him. Once more, he writhed and tried to escape the grip of the hooves bearing down on his.

"Grr...why is it so hard to see I'm not trying to hurt any of you here!" the Time Lord shouted at the mare on top of him.

"Liar!"

"Prove it!" Just as she opened her mouth to speak again a light purple aura surrounded the both of them and they were separated into mid-air, and dropped when it disappeared, landing with an "Oof!"

"Enough of this! Okay, I don't care what you say about the whole 'phasing engines' thing, you're gonna tell us who you are and what you were doing right now!"

The Doctor let out an aggravated grunt, but spoke to them, "My name is The Doctor. I am the last of my kind, the Time Lords. Last night, I regenerated into this form and crashed my police box slash time machine, the TARDIS, into Sweet Apple Acres apparently. I ventured out looking for food, clothing, civilization, anything, but instead other circumstances came up. That TARDIS is a new model, so the engines are phasing and building up a lot of energy. If too much of it builds up and releases, guess what? Boom! A huge explosion, everybody or pony dies. So, if I don't get to it as soon as possible, your city or town or colony or whatever here, goes bye-bye. Questions? No? Good. Now, I'll be on my way." With his small speech out of the way, he began to gallop away.

"Ponyville's the other way!" cried out the white unicorn.

"I knew that!" The Doctor said trying to maintain at least a shard of dignity and stormed past them. I probably should've asked for directions before charging off dramatically in hindsight.

A million thoughts ran through The Doctor's head as he approached Ponyville. Oh no, what if I'm too late? What if somehow the civilians found their way inside and have travelled ages into the future? What if it's taken all of the town with it into the past? What if someone just plain broke it? Oh this isn't good. Not at all. Unbeknownst to him, he was being trailed from afar by those ponies from earlier, both intrigued and worried. They too were paranoid about the damage that this thing could have caused based off of his frantic descriptions.

Mercifully, the first buildings of Ponyville came into view from the dirt path he was on. His gallop slowed to a jog as he looked around for any activity. The place looked deserted! Almost nopony was out and about, not even owners of some scattered stands. Then the brown stallion realized that there was a faint commotion coming from the center of the town. "Oh of course, they bring the weird box thingy to the center of town and put on public display. I swear if they've done anything to it..." he said to nopony in particular before galloping off once more towards Town Square.

Surely enough, his suspicions were confirmed. It seemed the entire town had gathered in the area to take a look at the TARDIS. The still dirt-covered police box rested on a stage with an elderly-looking mare standing on her rear hooves and speaking into a microphone on a podium next to it. The Doctor tried to listen.

"Everypony! Calm down! We have the most intelligent ponies in Ponyville working on the case, and soon, the Princess will be here!" the old pony tried to calm down the ravaging crowd.

HERE'S A LIST OF THINGS WRONG WITH THIS SITUATION.

I. They have the "most intelligent ponies in Ponyville" working on the situation yet not the Princess' own bloody student.

II. The TARDIS is on public display and it appears the entire population of this place is taking a good look at it.

III. The "most intelligent ponies in Ponyville" don't know how to approach a damn door.

IV. The Princess herself is on her way here. I do not want to piss her off.

V. That TARDIS is still gonna explode.

WELL. SHIT.

The Doctor shook himself from his temporary mental stupor and approached the situation to the best of his abilities. "Step away from the TARDIS!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. The crowd/mob/entire city of Ponyville turned to look at him. Smoooooooth.

Despite the less-than-stellar attention-grabber, he maintained his serious expression and cleared his throat before speaking, "My name is The Doctor! That thing up there happens to be mine and if you don't let me take it where I need to it will explode and will cease most of your existences! That being said..." he began to trot towards the crowd, more determined than before to get to his time machine and prevent the potential massive casualty toll, until a large-looking tan unicorn stallion zipped in front of him and stood in his way.

"Just wait a minute here, buddy! No way that thing's yours! How do we know that you're not lying, and just wanna get your grimy hooves on it and sell it!" the stranger shouted at him. He too had a tattoo on his thigh, this one of some donuts. Come to think of it, looks like all of these ponies have these tattoos on their thigh. Plenty of room to speculate on evil there...

"Well donut boy maybe you should just step out of the way," The Doctor warned as he stepped to his side, only to have him step in synchronization and continue to block his path.

"Joe! Mr. Doctor! Stop arguing, there's a much more pressing crisis at the moment and we don't have time for this!" the mare atop the podium spoke once more into the microphone. The Doctor took one look at "Joe" apparently as he was called, the old pony, the TARDIS, and decided that this called for a Sonic Screwdriver! He pressed down on it somehow with his hoof and was atop the stage next to his unstable method of transportation. The crowd went silent in a heartbeat. You could hear a pin drop in the former commotion. In fact, he was pretty sure he did.

One of the "least most intelligent ponies in Ponyville" was the first to break the stunned quietness, questioning the Time Lord, "B-b-but you're not a unicorn, how'd y-you do that?" his jaw was still slightly agape and crooked after finishing his  expression of intrigue.

The Doctor sighed and chuckled while surveying for any damage and how to approach the situation inside. "It's basic Time Lord technology, good sir. This device has many functions, probably innumerable, and short-range teleportation happens to be a basic one. I'm glad it takes up so little energy, though. I used a bit of it," he paused to tap on the windows and sniff a bit, "to escape some bounds I was tied up in. Apparently my greeters don't know how to introduce themselves." Once more the collective silence set in and he circled it once more.

"Hmm! Well, depending on the distance on that moon of yours I'd say this'll be relatively simple. Speaking of which, do you have any idea about the distance or so of that satellite? I mean I can't just go flying blind, hehe." The Doctor said. He turned to look at the group once more, still staring at him in awe. He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, but shrugged it off and opened the door. A few ponies up front caught the look of the true inside of the behemoth, amusing the brown stallion with their fascination. No word on the satellite I see. Still shocked into a new vow of silence I assume. Oh well, a simple trip into space and back will suffice enough. Before he could step into his craft, he was practically trampled as everypony struggled to get a look inside.

"Whaddya think that thing does?"

"I bet I know what that is!"

"I-I've never seen anything like this!"

The Doctor wheezed as the weight of a majority of those peeking inside the TARDIS still rested upon him. He managed to pop out of the crowd and leap inside, ninja rolling until he closed the door and kept the now ravaging mob outside as best as he could. Still taking in massive amounts of breath with every gasp, he quickly buzzed around the room preparing the machine for travel into the outer atmosphere. It didn't help that the temperature wasn't exactly chilly and sweat matted his fur together while the engines continued to phase and grow more and more reckless. This needed to be taken care of, quick.

Mercifully, mercifully, no cliched misfires occurred and he was off into the cosmos. Looking outside was an, odd sight to say the least. The entire beautiful and majestic sky he'd taken in the night before had been replaced with pure blackness. Not a star was in sight, just the view of the Sun passing over the planet. It strangely resembled Earth, but with obvious geographical differences. Nonetheless, the clear, dark sky still held its unique form of beauty. Nothing special, it wasn't enough to keep him from returning inside to check up on things.

"Gee, it sure is a pretty neat 'Lardis' ya got here Mr. Doctor!"

WHAT.

THE.

SHIT.

Arc I Part 3: Getting Back Down to Earth

The Doctor spun around on his hooves immediately, searching for the source of the voice. There, in front of the large power column was a grey pegasus looking curiously at said engine, almost as if she was inspecting it for errors. She had a blond mane and tail with three bubbles as her butt tattoo. The mystery pony was also...cross-eyed? Well this meant that the equines were susceptible to mutations, another piece of information on them. But that was not important! What mattered was that a completely random pegasus had sneaked into his TARDIS! Not bad, clever girl.

"Um-um...who exactly are you...?" The Doctor asked her quizzically. He continued to stare at her with a blank expression on his face as she circled around the engine.

"Huh? Oh, my name is Derpy Hooves! I think you said you're The Doctor right? Nice to meet you," she exclaimed as if nothing was off in this situation at all. He continued to gaze wide-eyed at her in disbelief. How could she've possibly got in? I was the only one through the door, I saw it.

"How did you-I mean, how'd you even get in here?" once more The Doctor questioned her. He'd seen stranger things, but he wasn't sure of what to expect from this universe.

"The door silly! While everyone was all crowding and trying to get in, I saw a bunch of shiny things, so I just flew in and started looking around. Neat place you got here, but what exactly does it all do?" At that the Time Lord couldn't help but let a massive grin overtake his face. It couldn't have been healthy for him. But now was time for one of his favorite things, explaining advanced technology! Another gleeful thought besides the joys of lecturing roamed inside his head as well, This mare has potential to make a great companion. Things were going somewhat swimmingly in this dimension already. Somewhat.

The Doctor took a deep breath and began, "Welllll my dear, this thing here is the hyperaccelerated particle neutral..." his explanation of almost every gadget and room in the TARDIS, each not losing a single fraction of Derpy's attention, continued for about two-and-a-half hours. So long, in fact, that he pretty much forgot the engines were no longer dangerous and he could return at any time.

The crowd at the town meeting stood speechless at the sight they'd beheld over the past couple of minutes. Finally, Lyra spoke up and named their collective thoughts. "What the hay just happened?" Everypony silently agreed.

"I think I can piece together some information here," Twilight Sparkle said as she and the Elements of Harmony emerged from the road leading into town center. She was the princess' personal student and all, so it'd be probably was best for her to take over the situation. As the lavender unicorn stepped onto the stage, Mayor Mare let her have the podium and explain whatever she could. "Last night," she began, "that stallion was found in Sweet Apple Acres. We also found that very box close by, and that's when we took it here. He said his name was The Doctor, and we initially thought he was a robber or some type of criminal trying to do something to AJ's farm." the mare told the crowd while she nodded towards Applejack. "Somehow, he got out of the ropes using a capsule-like device which shot a burst of energy, and ran off towards Ponyville rambling about 'engines phasing'. Basically, we captured and scared off a potentially incredibly advanced pony." She finished her half-lecture, half-theory, the last sentence of which left most of those in attendance looking around or at the ground in nervousness or shame.

Rainbow Dash was, as per usual, the first to break the silence, "Say...has anypony seen Derpy?" The crowd snapped to attention at the chance to change the subject. All held unsure looks on their faces signifying their unawareness of the grey pegasus' location.

Rarity jumped to an assumption, albeit irrational, quickly, "That uncouth brute must have kidnapped poor Derpy while he escaped!" The white unicorn swooned once more, not fainting this time.

A look of rage spread over Applejack's face, and she practically erupted red-faced, "Consarnit! That dern Doctor was up tah no good, Ah told ya Twilight!" The earth pony directed her fury towards Twilight for no particular reason.

"Calm down, AJ! We don't even know if he did anything yet! If anything, we should be guilty, I'm sure we've practically scared him half to death with the town's antics!" the librarian shot back at the infuriated farmer.

Fluttershy let out a meek, "girls..." in a piss-poor attempt to calm her friends down.

"Good! Have you gone crazy, Twilight!? He's clearly to blame here! What else do ya think happened to Derpy!? It's just plain obvious!" Rainbow shouted at the bearer of the Element of Magic. She'd taken Applejack's side on the matter since it always sucked to be down a hoof on the Weather Team, even though she wasn't all that good at cloud-clearing. Or storm-brewing. Or most weather-related activities, for that matter. Thank Celestia she was the mailmare. In the background, their fighting had caused a chain reaction and a series of small debates broke out in the still-large crowd on the ground below. Even the mayor was getting into it with a couple of the supposed brainaics from earlier.

"For Celestia's sake Rainbow will you think more than once about something for once in your life! True, there's no evidence for him, but there's certainly no evidence against him!" Twilight retaliated once more at the pegasus and earth pony. Her patience was slowly decreasing with the stubborn pair against her, and she hoped that things wouldn't escalate too badly.

Her wish was shared by a quivering and crouching yellow pegasus, who pleaded for her mates' attention once more, this time ever so slightly louder, "...girls..." Obviously, nopony heard her in the massive commotion. Pinkie Pie was riding around on a unicycle wearing a Groucho Marx mask and top hat. Rarity'd fainted, again.  Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle were all arguing. The entire town seemed to be in one form of disharmony. Discord was probably rolling in his stone imprisonment at the sight.

AJ spout back at Twilight, "Nah evidence against 'im!? Please! He tried tah rob Sweet Apple Acres!"

"He already said he didn't!"

"Why should we believe him!?"

Fluttershy basically lost her shit. "Stop it!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. The noise and mayhem ceased at her voice ringing through the air. All gazes in the vicinity were turned towards her. Uh-oh the shy mare thought. She smiled nervously before shrinking down a bit. Thankfully, she needn't say anything else as Twilight spoke for her.

"Fluttershy's got the right idea here. Let's just cross the bridge when we come to it; if whoever he is comes back, we deal with it, if he doesn't, problem solved. We'll send out an investigation for Derpy, but until then, let's all settle down." the unicorn said as calmly as she could. The tension in the air seemed to fade away as the mob muttered and held private and soft conversations while splitting up.

Applejack turned towards both of the other ponies and said, "Ah'm sorry, Twilight. I let mah temper get tha best of me, Ah suppose. Just a little stressed is all." The look in her eyes showed she was truly apologetic.

"I'm sorry too," the lavender mare replied, "we all got a little heated, huh?" she finished with a forced chuckle.

"Heh, ya got that right," Rainbow said. "I'm...sorry too I guess..." Whatever. Any sort of apology from Rainbow was better than usual. The six trotted off together (after reviving Rarity), determined to figure out what happened to Derpy Hooves. But a thought rested at the back of Twilight's mind. What if I'm wrong? she pondered. What if Derpy really was kidnapped, and that stallion really was a robber?

What if I've put everypony in danger?

The Doctor had just finished the best technological lecture of his long life. Derpy had to admit, he rivaled Twilight when it came to the stuff. He had it down to an art really, you get good at it when you have so many companions to go over it with. With her new knowledge, Derpy merrily made her way outside to take a look at the pure blackness. There was a slight chance she would have done that even without knowing there was an automatically-generated oxygen field outside of the TARDIS. After assing around in "space" for quite a bit, The Doctor promptly decided it'd be best to head back to the place full of mad ponies and try to at least start over. Hopefully, they all weren't in such a raving frenzy as before.

As the TARDIS accelerated towards the planet's surface, the Time Lord posed a question to the grey pegasus derping about the control room. "Say Derpy Hooves, mind if I ask you a question?" She stopped flying and came down to the ground.

"Sure! Go 'head," she beamed at him inquisitively. Her head was cocked slightly at an angle, as if to demonstrate her intrigue.

Smiling at her lightly, he asked, "How'd you like to be able to go wherever you want, whenever you want?" She was obviously confused by his statement.

"Whaddya mean by that, Doctor?" She said as her head tilted even further to the side.

"You know this is a time machine, right?"

"Yeah, so-oh. Oh. Ohhhh! You mean...!?" Derpy held a smile that would've made the pink pony from earlier proud and the happiness pretty much radiated off her. So much in fact, that The Doctor couldn't help but let his smile grow a little larger, as well.

"Yes. Yes I do." Suddenly, he was brought to the ground rather violently as he was tackle-hugged by his passenger.

"Of course, of course, of course! Oh man! This is so cool! I really get to go around in a time machine and-" she was cut off as during one of her celebratory loops of joy in the air she managed to hit one of the upper walkways and tumbled to the ground.

"Oh my, are you alright there?" The Doctor feared for her well-being but at the same time struggled to stifle his giggles. It was a pretty funny sight to watch, actually.

Returning to her hooves, Derpy waved one in the air and shrugged, "It's fine. I've taken worse." She maintained a cheerful expression from the previous revelations despite hitting a solid metal beam not fifteen seconds ago. Impressive,  the Time Lord thought.

"Looks like our destination is in sight," the stallion said while looking at one of the modules. The landing spot was controlled and non-disastrous this time as nothing went terribly wrong in the process. Hey, sheds don't really count as buildings, right? Right? Whatever.

They all saw the light from the telescope in the library. It was a bright streak that stood out well against the bright blue sky and it came to a rest, this time not as dramatically and in the fields near Fluttershy's house and the Everfree Forest. Before anypony could say a word, Twilight's horn lit up and they were at the scene immediately. "What's that over there?" Pinkie asked as she pointed in the general direction of a small blue spot on the horizon.

"Our destination," Twilight said. "Let's go!" They teleported once again, now almost directly in front of the figure with "POLICE - PUBLIC USE - BOX" on it. The Mane 6 stared at the supposed time machine until two ponies stepped out. The Doctor and...Derpy Hooves!

"What'd you do with her, freak!?" Rainbow flew right up to him and booped him roughly in his nose. His demeanor was...amused? That didn't make sense.

"Hehehe, well she happened to sneak into my TARDIS here, I explained it and gave her the grand tour, and now we're time-travelling buddies!" He nudged her in the shoulder as she smiled. In this context, it's probably not the best idea to say companion he wisely thought to himself.

The cyan pegasus didn't but it, and she made that clear, "Yeah, right! You kidnapped her, we all know-hey!" She felt herself being yanked back by her tail and was soon on the ground next to Applejack, who was giving her a disapproving glare from above.

Twilight turned to her friend on the ground and half-whispered sharply, "Rainbow! We went over this!" before returning her gaze to the duo that just stepped out of the "TARDIS." "Hehe...sorry about that. Listen, I suppose things got off on the wrong hoof between you and...everypony really...so let's try to start over, shall we?" She stuck her hoof out.

"Off on the wrong hoo-oh right, no hands here. Oh, um, yes I suppose that'd be wonderful," he smiled and shook the outstretched hoof of the violet mare across from him.

"Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you some questions," Twilight asked him. The Doctor saw silent but frantic shaking of heads in disagreement and "No!"'s being mouthed which he met with a singular raised eyebrow.

"Uh...sure that'd be fine, I guess," the Time Lord said primarily focusing his attention on the group of ponies behind the apparent leader now groaning and facehoofing. Oh no, what have I gotten myself into...

A smile spread on her face as if she was a child who'd won all sweets in a candy shop. "That's great! Let's get started right away," she said to him as she dragged him off with her telekinesis. He could make out a "Good luck." mouthed from the hyperactive pink pony.

I IMMEDIATELY REGRET THIS DECISION.

Arc I Part 4: Questions

What in the name of all that's holy have I gotten myself into, The Doctor thought to himself. He sat in a chair in a dark room, the only lighting residing in the center. Apparently, he and Twilight Sparkle were in the basement of the Ponyville Library and her house. He wasn't going to approach that logic. The entire scene reminded him of an Earth horror movie, a dark-lit room, somepony sitting across from him with an insane-looking smile, a table only between them, odds are this wasn't going to end well. The Time Lord cringed as Twilight reached under her chair, undoubtedly for some type of lethal and murderous weapon. This is it, he thought, I'm going to die for the second time in two days.

He opened his eyes to see that instead of a chainsaw or machete in her hooves, there was instead a notepad on the table, a quill floating in her telekinesis, and a puzzled look on her face. "Are you okay?" the unicorn asked. The fearful expression of his quickly disappeared and he reassured her he was fine. "Riiiiight..." she said with obvious skepticism in her voice, "anyway, what do you remember about your arrival here?"

The Doctor pondered his answer for a moment. It was going to be difficult to tell her the truth without sounding like a madpony. Mental institutions aren't fun at all. "Well, this is probably gonna sound utterly ridiculous to you, and you may consider me absolutely crazy, but promise me that you'll believe me?" he asked before continuing. She nodded, excellent. "Okay, well to put it simply, I died." her eyes widened in disbelief and confusion. The librarian opened her mouth to speak, but she was cut off with a, "Let me finish." Once again, she nodded in confirmation. "My kind, the Time Lords, regenerate twice in one form, and then they turn into another form. My previous being had already regenerated once, so I was set to look different this time. I was absorbing dangerous energy so basically an entire dimension wouldn't explode, potentially affecting other universes like yours. The after-effects weren't too serious, but they must've been worse than I thought because my TARDIS and I crossed over into this realm. I hypothesize it happened right as I was transforming, because instead of a bipedal, mammalian-like structure I was, well, this," he motioned downwards toward his pony body and then continued, "My TARDIS happened to need some regeneration as well, since I crashed in it in what I believe you said was 'Sweet Apple Acres'. I assure you, I wasn't trying to steal from anypony. Although I might've had a slight craving for a series of various foods. I believe you know the rest."

The Doctor looked to see that her frantically scribbling quill finally came to a rest after what was probably his story was transferred to parchment. Once more, her eyes held amazement and wonder. She expressed this amazement and wonder in the question, "You...you sacrificed yourself for countless lives?"

"Welllll, sorta," he said in an almost unsure tone. "I didn't really sacrifice myself, but I certainly saved a lot of people. More than I could count, probably a few trillion maybe." That last sentence was too much for Twilight to handle. She fell back into her chair with her jaw so unhinged one might say it was dislocated, or not even attached to her skeleton. Her eye twitched twice, before the unicorn plain fainted. "Oh dear. That's not good." The Doctor stood up and made his way to the kitchen. A kitchen in a library, how ridiculous.

Twilight woke up sputtering and coughing, and also soaking wet. She looked up and saw The Doctor standing over her, stifling laughter. The mare wasn't exactly the happiest camper in Equestria at that. "What the hay was that for!?" she shouted at him before getting to her hooves and glaring at him angrily.

The stallion calmed himself down as best as he could before answering her, "Well Ms. Sparkle, you happened to faint after I told you I estimated I saved around a few trillion lives, and I couldn't just leave a pal passed out on the floor, could I?" He gingerly tossed the bucket he'd used to dump the frigid water on her over his shoulder and went back to his seat. The answer did little to reduce Twilight's anger, but it was enough so they could get back to the questions.

"Okay, so second question; can you explain any of your technology to us?"  the unicorn asked him. The same goofy grin from when Derpy asked the similar quesion in the TARDIS overtook his face.

"You better be able to write pretty quickly, my dear," was all The Doctor said before taking in a large breath of air and beginning the momentous explanation.

Several Hours Later...

"...and that's why the engines need to phase with every new TARDIS," he finished his lecture on not just his tech that he carried around, but also a history and majority of Time Lord innovations and advancements. Twilight had the same determined look on her face the entire time to capture every last word of his overview, and based off the exhausted exposition of hers at the end, she succeeded in that task.

"Well...uh...thank you and...you sure don't skip a detail do you?" the out of breath and panting Twilight asked him. Using her telekinesis for that long sure wore her out.

"Hey, apparently you're the princess' personal student, I don't want to leave anything out for you."

Twilight blushed a little and said, "Oh, you're too kind. It's getting a little late though, what are you gonna do tonight?"

"Well, I was think-" The Doctor was cut off by the door to the basement opening. Inside the doorway stood a...dragon?

"Hey Twilight, whaddya want for din-oh. Who's this guy?" The lizard gave him a once over and asked another question, "You been doing any funny business with Twilight mister?" A blush spread over both of their faces immediately. The Doctor wasn't exactly sure how blushes were possible through fur. No matter! He had some explaining to do. Twilight did it for him, though.

"Spike! This is The Doctor. He's not from around here, but don't be so rude for Celestia's sake," she scolded him and wore an angry grimace.

"Sorry," "Spike" looked towards the Time Lord and apologized. "It's just that I'm protective of her, ya know? She's practically like a mom to me." That statement piqued some curiosity in The Doctor. He looked quizzically at Twilight, who got the message and elaborated.

"When I was still in Canterlot Magic School, I hatched Spike and since then we've really been like best friends," she said as she nuzzled him and they both smiled.

"How adorable," The Doctor said as he rolled his eyes and clopped his front hooves together, "Anyway, I'll be going. Hopefully I can figure a bit more out about this place soon?" Twilight nodded and the stallion took his leave. As he trotted through the streets of Ponyville at night, some thoughts came across his mind. I have no money, no house, I was tied up when I first got here, one pony trusts me, I've changed into a completely different creature, and I know close to nothing about this odd world. A challenge, I like it.

He figured it was best to stay in the TARDIS for the night, and then regroup tomorrow. He wondered where Derpy was. Eh, he'd find her tomorrow. One thing was important right now after an extremely long day: sleep. Thankfully, it was pretty easy to remember where he kept it. Right behind the barn of Sweet Apple Acres. Hey, if they didn't know, it didn't hurt them. It was only temporary anyway.

As The Doctor made his way through all the apple trees, that first night came into his memory. This one was just as beautiful as the last, with each dot of light in the sky looking as if it was put there intentionally and crafted with extreme care and delicacy. In fact, he was pretty sure somehow it was painted like a work of art. The Time Lord seemed to remember Twilight muttering "Ooh...Princess Celestia'll want to hear about that." during his little speech from earlier. The word "celestia" had to do something with the sun if he remembered correctly, so why not have somepony have something to do with the night? Another thing that backed this up was that outer space past Equestria seemed void of any light whatsoever, let alone life. His theory had to be the case, there was no other explanation. The Doctor stepped inside the TARDIS and eventually fell asleep.

His dreams were of that one thought. Would he have to rename his ship the "TARD"? That wouldn't be good. But that was a tangent for another time. What really mattered was the physical existence of space in this universe.

"I don't understand why this concerns you so," a loud voice from seemingly nowhere echoed throughout his dream.

"What? Who's there? Am I schizophrenic? Have I really gone insane?"

"Hahaha...calm down, subject. It is I, Princess Luna. I have not detected your presence in Equestria before, but I did feel your encounter with the residents of Ponyville," the voice supposedly named "Princess Luna" spoke once more.

"Okay, so there's Princess Luna and Princess Celestia, how many more bloody princesses are there? And what exactly do you mean by 'feel' my encounter with Ponyvillians?"

"There is only one other Princess; Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but she prefers Princess Cadence. By 'feel' your encounter, I mean I have not felt such disharmony since the return of Discord," the voice said as it suddenly made itself visible. It was dark blue and black, with a flowing mane and tail unlike the other ponies which seemed to be filled with stars. She appeared taller than the others, and instead of just one extra feature she bore both wings and a horn, an alicorn. However, the reference to Discord flew right over The Doctor's head, which Luna could see. "Discord is the embodiment of chaos himself," she explained briefly. The stallion nodded as Luna fluttered close to him, almost as if examining him.

"Might I ask what your cutie mark dictates?" the Princess asked him.

"What's a cutie mark?"

"Oh, my apologies, you are new here, I forget. Cutie marks are the symbols on everypony's flanks. I have one, you have one, you get the point," the apparent Princess of Night told him. He craned his neck around and saw an hourglass on his thigh, or flank as they called it. The Doctor twisted his head around to the other side and saw a mirror of the hourglass on one side. Well, that makes sense since I can travel through timey-wimey stuffs.

"What do you mean by that?" Princess Luna asked him.

"Mean by...what?" The Doctor questioned her as well, confused since he didn't say anything.

"'Timey-wimey stuffs. It is humorous but what does it mean?"

"But-but...I didn't say that, I just thought it." The Doctor stared at her. It wasn't like he hadn't seen mind-reading before, but he wasn't aware that the ponies could do it.

"Ah, my apologies. During nighttime, I have the power to access anypony in Equestria's dreams, and this includes their thoughts. The Time Lord nodded in half-understanding. Mind-reading alicorns that can enter your dreams and control the moon that are also princesses, why the fuck not?

"I see. Interesting power of yours, but why are you here?" The Time Lord inquired.

"I know many see you as a regular pony, however that is not the case with me. I know what you truly are, a Time Lord and once I heard that Time Lords had returned, I just had to see for myself," Luna said to him. How could she possibly know? Had there been Time Lords here before him? Was there an incident similar to his.

"H-how do you know that? I've only told maybe six or seven ponies," The Doctor asked, stunned.

"Simple, long ago, when my sister and I were still young, there was an invasion. An invasion of robot-like creatures who stated they were the embodiment of perfection and dominance. Therefore, all "lesser species" had to be exterminated in their eyes. My mother and father fought, but," she sniffed a little, "it was not enough to combat the effort. With no clear ruler, and with everything seemed lost, a mysterious group of men in what they called TARDISes came and defeated them, saving us, and Equestria. The creatures left, but vowed vengeance. It has been dozens of thousands years since that incident, though, so I estimate they have gone back on their word."

That explains why I've heard much about the princesses but nor a king or queen. Tough responsibilities. "Dozens of thousands of years, you say?" The Great War was after that, so it made sense there were still other Time Lords.

"Yes. My sister and I are biologically immortal, so we can live forever. Similar to you," she said to him. This princess was pretty intelligent.

"Wow, that's incredible," he said slightly dumbfounded. Correction: mind-reading alicorns that can enter your dreams and control the moon that are also princesses and are immortal, why the fuck not?

Luna closed her eyes for a moment, almost as if she was in pain, but looked back at him and said, "It appears my sister is calling for the Sun to be raised. It has been a pleasure, Doctor. Until we meet again." She turned and began walking away as The Doctor bowed. So, if Luna was leaving, and the Sun was being raised, did that mean-

Yup. The Doctor awoke with a start like he'd had a nightmare, even though his "dream" was mere conversation. Whatever, not worth the thought. One thing was certain though, things were strange. Not only had he met supposed royalty with incredible powers in his dream and conversed with them, but he'd learned that Time Lords had come here before him. If there were other Time Lords, than did that mean there was a way to get back? He couldn't exactly return to the former universe without a convenient and rare rip in space and time, yet he doubted that happening. Had the Time Lords turned into ponies like him? So many questions. Which meant there were answers to find! And where there were unanswered questions with existing answers, there was an overly complicated run-on sentence and The Doctor to solve it!

Arc I Part 5: Seeking Out a Grey Pegasus

The Doctor trotted outside of the TARDIS into the warm, bright morning. In fact, the morning was too bright. He brought a hoof up to cover his eyes from the near-blinding light of the unnamed princess' Sun. Once his eyes adjusted to the shining light, he was able to see that every apple visible in the miles of orchards shone brilliantly in the early sun. In fact, it almost seemed like that every one had the same window pane-like reflection on them. Well, what more could you expect from a world filled with technicolor pastel ponies? No matter, as business was afoot for the Time Lord.

In case Applejack, as he learned she was named, or one of the farmhands discovered the TARDIS, he'd cloaked it. Besides, he figured not many ponies had business to do behind the barn...unless...nope don't think that oh God!

Moving on from that thought that he'd rather not have again, The Doctor found himself on the path back to Ponyville. Once more, the thoughts from last night came to him. Were there still Time Lords in "Equestria"? Could they be disguised as ponies? The princesses? Hell, they could probably even be the ponies that originally captured him. Another thing was Princess Luna's near-fascination with him. Was being a Time Lord really that special? Well, of course it was. He was the last surviving one (as far as anypony knows), he's immortal, he has advanced technology, and he has a machine that can travel through space and time! But it didn't quite make sense since the one interested in him was immortal, royalty, and an alicorn, too.

The Doctor was so lost in deep thought that he didn't notice the joyful squeals and screams approaching rapidly from behind. Suddenly, a "Hey, look out mister!" was heard before he went tumbling to the ground in a heap. Still dazed from whatever impacted him, he sat up with his forehooves and looked for whatever hit him. That wasn't supposed to be possible, but he was gonna let it slide. The stallion spotted three small fillies similarly lying on the ground, but they were tangled up in a mess of hooves and manes. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't adorable in the slightest. To the right of the pony pile was a scooter and three helmets, presumably theirs.

The Time Lord got to his hooves and said, "Oh my, I'm terribly sorry. Are you alright?" After brushing some dust off his sides, he moved over to help them. Upon closer examination, one was a unicorn, one was a pegasus, and one was a regular pony.

The pegasus got up with a bound before her colleagues and said, "Yeah, we're fine. Sorry for hitting ya, we're kinda in a rush." The other two joined her in standing and began to put their helmets back on.

"Oh?" The Doctor pursued, "What's so important?"

The unicorn who was now getting on the scooter behind the pegasus explained to him, "We're trying to get our cutie marks in time travelling!" The Doctor raised an eyebrow at that statement.

The regular pony continued where her friend left off, "Thar's rumors that a time traveller's in town! We're gon' try to do it ahrselves!" She seemed practically ready to explode with excitement. The Time Lord pondered whether or not he should tell them who he was, but he figured it was better for them not to get any ideas.

He chuckled lightly, pretending he had no idea what they were talking about, and told them, "Well that sounds pretty ridiculous to me, but good luck girls. I'll see you around." He began to trot off when one of their voices halted him in his tracks.

"Wait a second, what's your cutie mark mean?" Shit!

Hmm...what was a good explanation for an hourglass cutie mark. Time. Clocks. Time travelling. Oh damn it all to hell! The Doctor thought quickly and came up with quite possibly the most bullshit excuse in the history of excuses, "I'm-I'm a uh...mattress...and quills salesman! Yup! I run a store of quills and mattresses for a living..." He cringed at how bad that sounded.

Well now he was officially screwed, the little foals were going to constantly pester him with questions and this was going to be a terrible day and slow everythin-"But what about the hourglass?" What? Did they honestly just fall for that? No time to think, have to capitalize on their stupidity!

"Oh-I uh ran out of hourglass stock a week ago, and there was a fire, at the...uh...hourglass factory. So I have no hourglasses for a while and it's temporarily only mattresses and quills!"

So.

Fucking.

Legit.

"Oh! Okay! Good luck with your store mister!" The fillies zoomed off once again down the road with little-to-no explanation or logic. Whatever, he'd take it. Once more he made his way down the road, but with Ponyville visible on the horizon. It wasn't too long now, but he wondered where Derpy worked. It'd probably present a bit of a problem locating her, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.

OPTIONAL PUN LINE, OPTIONAL PUN LINE: After all, he had plenty of time. END OPTIONAL PUN LINE, END OPTIONAL PUN LINE.

As he arrived at Ponyville, he was somewhat relieved to see there weren't many ponies out this early in the morning. There were just some vendors setting up shop in town center and early risers walking around. He turned a corner out of the marketplace and lo and be-motherfucking-hold, there stood a store for mattresses and quills. Who would even buy those two things together? Equestria seemed to make less and less sense with every step he took. The doors to the post office next door to said nonsensical shop burst open, and out came a grey pegasus fitted in a mailman's (mailpony's?) outfit. Wait a second, that was Derpy Hooves!

"Derpy!" The Doctor called out from behind her. He rushed over to her before she got flying, he didn't stand a chance when she was in the air. She seemed confused for a moment, until she noticed his distinguishable accent and turned around with a smile.

"Oh, hey there!" Derpy said. "Whatcha doing here?"

"I was just about to do some adventuring! Of course, adventuring can get very lonely...and it is difficult to run a TARDIS all by yourself..." The Doctor kicked at the ground and smiled sheepishly. It was almost as if he was asking her on a date.

"Well of course! But I have to do my mail route," Derpy said with a frown. That was no problem to him.

"That's not a problem at all! I promise, I can have you back in five minutes, just come with me!" the stallion practically begged her. The pleading eyes of his did it for her, as she nervously looked at the clock inside through the window and back to him. 5:25 A.M.

"Oh fine, let's go," the mailmare said like a mother who'd gave in to a child's incessant begging for a toy. The Doctor jumped with glee and they took off down the road. Even though it interrupted her route, and it was probably dangerous, Derpy fully looked forward to it. Perhaps it was pegasus instinct that went back to the early and ancient days of Equestria, where the fighting spirit and don't-quit attitude were always apparent. That was least on her agenda, as she was focused on keeping up with The Doctor and bobbing and weaving through the trees of Sweet Apple Acres. Derpy really had no idea why they were here instead of the TARDIS, but she went with it.

Needless to say, she was confused when the stallion stopped, gasping for breath, behind the barn exclaiming, "Here we are!" The Time Lord held a hoof out in the air and pointed towards thin air.

"Um...Doctor? Are you alright? There's nothing there," Derpy asked him, worry present in her voice. She feared that he might have gone off the deep end.

"Remember? The TARDIS comes with a chameleon circuit, which makes it blends into its surroundings so nopony can see it! Watch," he explained to her as he bopped the supposed open air to reveal a ripple effect and a piece of blue wood becoming visible. "Now for the full reveal!" He pulled out the sonic screwdriver from behind his bow tie and fired a beam of energy at the space occupied by the invisible time machine. The air itself seemed to melt away and lo and behold, there stood the TARDIS shining in the combination of morning dew and sunlight.

The Doctor walked over to it and opened the door as if nothing special happened, while Derpy stood slack-jawed at the sight in wonder. "Hey, are you coming or not?" The question snapped her out of her minor trance and she nodded, stepping inside the massive control room. It was still the same size but appeared to have undergone a makeover of sorts. Certain consoles were moved around, and it seemed the entire style of design had changed. Had The Doctor really done that in one day?

"Um...what exactly happened here?" Derpy said while taking a gander at the room which bore no resemblance to the one she was just in a day ago.

"What? It's not that messy, is it?" The Doctor said with a tad of disappointment. He too began to survey the area, sniffing various panels and items. He tapped a screen a couple of times and blew on it before looking back to his companion with a clueless look on his face.

"Wha-the entire room has changed!" the pegasus said motioning all about the vast expanse of gadgetry and catwalks.

"It doesn't look all that different to me," The Time Lord took another good look around before something clicked in his head. "Oh! Right, I left something out yesterday. She along with other TARDISes tend to randomly change the interior design at will. Keeps things fresh, looks nice, I like it." While the answer made little sense to Derpy, something else caught her ear. She?

"What do you mean 'she'?"

"I didn't tell you? Huh, well TARDISes are semi-sentient and are considered females."

"So you could...talk with it?"

The Doctor scoffed and said, "Not exactly. It listens, but it can't really reply. One thing that's for certain though is they can get really depressed when their owners die. They've been known to fly directly into stars or a time vortex." Derpy pretended to understand and just nodded. She figured it was best not to question The Doctor on these kinds of things. The stallion said in a baby talk voice and snuggled one of the panels, "But that won't ever happen to me will it?" It looked like he really was talking to the TARDIS. Derpy was starting to regret her decision ever so slightly.

"Right...okay, so where are we going?" the mare fluttered to the ground and asked him.

"Wherever or whenever you'd like, dear! We've got all the time in the world and every place in the world to go to!" The Doctor trotted around, pulling various levers and flicking switches, preparing for travel.

"Wow...um, I've always wanted to go to olden Equestria! That'd be cool," she said watching him work his magic on all components.

"As you wish!" He began the second-to-last step and went over to the digital dial for time selection. A pretty nifty customization of his if he did say so himself. In the time period display, he saw four options. One said "BE", the second one  "EE", another said "NM", and the last read "LR". The second option seemed like the most logical to him for no particular reason, so he summoned Derpy over. "I'll let you do the honors," he said and brought her over.

"I know you were probably told as a foal not to press the big red button. Interestingly enough, I don't care, so hit it and let's get on our way!" The Doctor said enthusiastically, assuming that negative stereotypes involving brightly colored large objects were universal. Without a second thought, a grey hoof was brought down upon the glowing dome, and the adventure began.

Next stop; 1263 E.E., Canterlot, Equestria.

Arc II Part 1: Somewhat Untimely Arrival

The Doctor and Derpy gingerly stepped out of the TARDIS. "I still don't understand how it works, though," the pegasus said while looking around.

"It's as simple as it sounds," The Doctor began while popping a few joints. "It appears over there, and reappears over here."

"But there's no way! It has to be more complicated than that."

"Well, I suppose it could appear over here and then reappear there..." The Doctor said appearing to be in deep thought.

Derpy only groaned in frustration. The finer aspects of Time Lord technology still did not break through to her. This was made clear when she almost caused the universe to collapse in upon itself with a few presses of buttons. He needed to keep an eye on her, it appeared. The possible things that could go wrong were probably too large to count, but that was the fun of adventure!

As the pair trotted through the cobblestone streets of wherever-they-were, the place seemed like it had just been through an apocalypse. Buildings were being reconstructed, streets repaved, but even with these efforts occasional holes in the road and empty lots filled with rubble remained. One vast structure seemed unharmed in the distance, though. It looked like a castle, or a complex of castles, and stood far above any others that challenged it. Luna did say that the Princesses were immortal, but have they been around this long? Well, time to find out.

The Doctor asked Derpy, "Hey, you want to go see that castle thingy over there?"

"Canterlot Castle!?" the pegasus asked him loudly, as if she was offended. "A-are you sure? We can get in trouble, I mean we don't even look like nobles!"

"Derpy, I'm a Time Lord," The Doctor began while changing course towards the Canterlot Castle, as she said. "I'm sure that counts for something." Okay, that probably wasn't the best excuse he'd ever made but he really wanted to see that castle.

Amazingly, Derpy bought it. "Oh yeah! We've got nothing to worry about!" It was better not to question the good things in life. As they made their way though Canterlot, The Doctor noticed the buildings' condition improved with proximity to the castle. Perhaps the castle was so important that the closer anything was to it the more valuable it was. That was preposterous, though, maybe they just started the cleanup and rebuilding effort at the center of the city. Yeah, that was probably it.

Several ponies stared at the stallion and Derpy as they traversed the streets. Was it because of her eyes? That just wasn't okay. Sure it was presumably very long ago, but prejudices like that were plain uncalled for. The inhabitants of Equestria all seemed so cheerful, nice, and downright friendly. Yet there seemed to be hate and depression filling the watching eyes of those glaring at the two. What was even more bothering was the fact the looks maintained as long as possible, some even turning their necks back to continue shooting their dirty looks at them.

The Doctor said to Derpy as they rounded a corner, "Alright, the castle should be down this road a ways and then-"

"Halt!" The Time Lord was cut off as a gruff voice shouted at them from behind. Before he could say anything, four cuffs were shackled around his hooves using telekinesis. The supposed source of the voice flew down in front of him and jabbed him in the chest with a hoof. "You're coming with us," the mystery pegasus wearing golden armor bearing a symbol of the Sun said.

"Oy, what'd I do?"

The Doctor's question went unanswered as a previously unnoticed unicorn, also donned in the same attire, asked his colleague, "Do we take the mare?"

"Sure, she's connected with him. We'll bring 'em both."

"Hey, don't take her! She didn't do anything!" The Doctor half-pleaded half-ordered them.

"Be quiet. You're being taken to Grand Mage Starswirl," the unicorn told him as Derpy was fitted with similar restraints.

The cross-eyed mare voiced her complaints with a, "Hey!" The protest did not yield any sympathy or release from the two. Well. Fuck my life.

The four ponies trotted down the vast, marble-floored hallway. Stained glass windows lined the walls with their various colors modifying the light that came through them. While The Doctor and Derpy were able to keep up with their captors, that was the end of their abilities. The shackles were the perfect tightness where they could walk without being restrained, but couldn't run. He had a sinking feeling a spell was behind that. Suddenly, the soldiers accompanying them stopped, and prodded them forward with their spears. "This is Grand Mage Starswirl the Bearded's office," the unicorn said while pointing towards a humongous door. The Bearded...single best last name I've ever heard despite the circumstances.

As the two walked off, he could hear a fading and worrying conversation, "I wonder what the Grand Mage has in mind for them that has him so obsessed..."

"Well whatever it is Celestia have mercy on their souls..."

"Sins of our fathers, huh?"

"Heh. Yeah."

This is not good. Not good at all. No, no calm yourself. You've saved entire universes with sticks of celery. You have a kickass bowtie courtesy of a hyperactive pink pony. A grand mage? Child's play. But...one that seems to be obsessed with me. The Doctor thought as they stepped through the door.

The two gazed around the room of Starswirl the Bearded. Bookshelf upon bookshelf lined the walls, and where there wasn't a bookshelf an impressive looking paintjob of stars and galaxies draped the walls. It would all be very stunning if the lower portion wasn't total chaos. Papers, mostly crumbled up and discarded, covered the floor like a minefield. Various scribblings and mathematical equations could be seen on each. From the looks of it, he'd been trying for days to figure something out. A look at the far edge of the office revealed a desk and chalkboard in front of another stained glass window, this one primarily blue and white. Behind the desk, with a messy mane and disheveled appearance overall, was a light blue unicorn stallion working furiously on said chalkboard. More math sentences and writing filled the chalkboard, and from the green halves of wood in the corner, he was becoming frustrated and impatient with whatever he was working on.

The deranged-looking Grand Mage became aware of their presence and quickly turned his head to look at them. There was anticipation and excitement plastered on his face. Starswirl caught eye of Derpy first, and the eager expression faded. But when he saw the stallion next to her, or his cutie mark in particular, the look of a child on Christmas returned tenfold. "Aha! I thought they were lying when they told me they found a Time Lord," Starswirl said to them. The insane-looking grin on his face unnerved both of those across the room from him. Two twitches came from his head as he trotted across the room slowly towards them. They instinctively stepped back.

The Doctor's and Derpy's haunches hit the wall. Shit, was all he could think as the potentially mentally unstable unicorn approached them. His steps were erratic, his hooves landing in different locations and directions with progress. "Come now...I'm not going to...hurt you..." Starswirl almost whispered in a soothing voice. It wasn't the calming tone of a mother, but more the sweet lullaby of a madpony. The dome shape of the office only caused his hoofsteps to echo eerily until fading. Before the Time Lord knew it, the mage was directly in front of him.

Starswirl craned his head around to survey The Doctor's flank. The once subtle toothless smile expanded into a vast grin once more. The unicorn reached out a hoof and, poked The Doctor directly in his hourglass cutie mark. The sudden action earned a yelp from him. "Hah! It's not a dye or tattoo, you really are a Time Lord..." The bearded pony turned around 180 degrees and summoned a paper and quill from his desk. The Doctor looked over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of what he was writing. Prepare Room 108. Procedure A-1337.

Oh...shit... "Derpy," The Doctor whispered to the grey pegasus beside him. She turned her head and looked at him, obviously scared as much as he was. "On the count of three, I want you to run out that door."

"But, what about-"

"I'll make sure you get out safe. Just run, and I'll catch up with you eventually. If you don't encounter any problems, wait outside the TARDIS. You remember where we left it, right?"

"Yeah," she lied. Her memory was not exactly the greatest, and now was the perfect time for it to show its colors.

"Excellent. Now, one..."

"So! Mr. Time Lord! I'm very excited about our plans!"

"Two..." The Doctor whispered once more.

"We get to learn alllll about things!" Starswirl turned back to look at the two. The crazy look on his face was more present then ever.

"Three!" The Doctor shouted. He bucked the large door behind him and it swung open, Derpy flying out through it. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver from behind his bowtie and pointed it at Starswirl.

The unicorn only chuckled and told him, "I couldn't care less about your little friend. The guards will catch her anyway.  What I do care about...is you..." Starswirl was undoubtedly mentally unwell. He took a step in his direction once again, the step seeming to echo twice as loud as before. The Doctor stood unfazed, standing in the same three-legged stance and holding the device out with one hoof at the Grand Mage.

Starswirl's head twitched again, but this time his head stood in the same location, like he was studying him. He probably was. "My my...what an interesting toy you have there...will you let me...play...with it?" The pauses between each group of words he spoke didn't aide The Doctor's nerve, but he didn't move.

Another terribly loud step.

And another.

This was becoming really slow and painful.

"Why do you seem to resist? We'd have tons of fun if you just come with me!" Starswirl cackled maniacally.

The Doctor spoke, "Look, Mister the Bearded, or whatever you go by. I'm sure you're a lovely chap, even though I've never even met nor heard of you until thirty minutes ago. What I can tell for sure, is that this isn't you at all. You're not okay. You've become ob-obsessed with whatever it is around here! You've outcasted the rest of the world I bet! You're locked in this office, studying nonstop something that has clearly driven you insane! Listen to me! You! Are! Not! Like! This!" His attempts to halt Starswirl yielded no results.

"Stop it for God's sake! If you're interested in me, I'm sure you know what this can do! Do not make me use any of its functions!" The Grand Mage took another step toward him. He was less then five feet away from him now.

"That's it!" The Doctor yelled as he charged a blast that would merely discombobulate him. Then, he could escape and rendezvous with Derpy and get the hell out of wherever they were. The sonic screwdriver glowed and then, it was stabbed out of his hoof. He looked behind him in horror to see an earth pony guard standing, his screwdriver impaled on the sharp metal blade of a spear. Behind him two pegasi held Derpy's forehooves in theirs.  "What have you done!?" He yelled at him after gazing in horror at the long weapon which held his incredibly valuable gadget.

Starswirl sighed, and almost scolded him like a teacher would a student, "You didn't play nice."

The Doctor felt a warm sensation envelop him, and then his vision faded to black. "Doctor!" was all he heard before all feeling in his body went numb.

He collapsed.

Arc II Part 2: Waking Up

The Doctor awoke in a haze. His vision was blurry, his eardrums popped, and his limbs...restrained. He tried to look around but found his neck tied to a chair. A chair...he was sitting like a human. The position he was in shouldn't have been possible by pony standards. He should be in massive amounts of pain and probably have a few snapped bones, but he felt just as normal as ever. Maybe there was a numbing spell placed on him? It would be very clever. His vision eventually cleared out and he saw pitch blackness.

There appeared to be a singular light in the room, dangling above his head providing a dull and eerie glow. The whole thing reminded him of his first day in Equestria, where he was in Twilight Sparkle's basement and scared out of his mind. This situation was different, though. There was a legitimate sense and reason of fear, and he couldn't move whatsoever. His trusty sonic screwdriver had been speared by a guard, he'd left his spare screwdriver in the TARDIS, and Derpy had been captured as well. He never let his companions get hurt! Well, okay, maybe that's a lie, but he'd never let them get hurt if he could do anything about it!

Another light came on. Followed by another, and another, until the entire room was lit, albeit poorly. Now the Time Lord could make out a window with obvious one-way glass, and a metal door next to it. Extremely faint voices could be heard coming from the seeming observation room. The voices stopped for a while before an aura surrounded the door, and revealed a bright orange unicorn. His cutie mark was a pair of glasses, and his mane and tail were wild. The Doctor made an attempt to just try to escape using his words, "This is probably illegal, you know."

The unicorn continued to write down things and muttered. The bounded stallion made out something along the lines of, "Not in this case..." Well that was certainly helpful.

"You could be banished." Taking a shot in the dark here...

"Doubt it. It's her second week as princess, too busy..." More note-taking. The Time Lord was obviously not getting through to this pony. Anyway, now was a wonderful time to try and come up with an escape plan. He really didn't want to stick around for what happened when the unicorn was done with...whatever he was doing.

Alright. No sonic screwdriver. No TARDIS. No anything really. There are no windows besides that of the observation room. Derpy's whereabouts are unknown. From the width of the adjacent room to this one, I'd say it holds maybe four ponies. Technology level is presumably medieval. The wall is likely made of concrete, from this point roughly seven or eight inches thick. Well, this is...interesting.

He was snapped out of his deep thought as the door closed with a thud. The possibilities of what was happening in that room were endless, and most of them frightening and resulting in dismemberment. Were they going to dissect him? Were they going to keep him in that room forever? Would he go insane? What about the insane Grand Mage? What role did he play in this? Well, he was the reason The Doctor was in here in the first place, but forgive and forget was a good motto to live by.

Unless it results in dying...

The door opened once again, and out stepped none other than the demented unicorn himself, Starswirl the Bearded. While The Doctor didn't think it was possible, Starswirl's mane, tail, and incredible facial hair were all more frazzled and disturbed than before. The look in his eyes was glassy, yet screamed HELLO THERE I AM INSANE. The Time Lord had gotten used to it, though. Maybe working with him could aide his mental issues.

Starswirl greeted him in that same unnerving yet soothing voice, "Hello, Doctor." He paced around the chair in which his subject was constrained, gazing over every detail of him. He stopped to stare at him and questioned, "Do you know why you're here?" The Doctor shook his head. Starswirl merely chuckled. "You're here because of the things your kind has done."

What? The Doctor knew that Luna said something about Time Lords being here in the past, and even saving Canterlot! What could they have possibly done wrong?

The unicorn saw The Doctor was clueless, and elaborated on his accusation, "Quite recently, a month or so, I'd say. My apologies, I've slightly lost track of time. Anyway, several Time Lords came and defeated the robot invaders. Yeah! Easy as pie! Saved us all from certain damnation. Celestia knows magic didn't work on them. But they came...yes, they came with their incredible machines and technology. They helped us, like it was nothing. But then, they left! They could've stayed, helped all of Equestria and advanced us eons into the future!"

Abruptly, Starswirl stopped and bored directly into his eyes with his gaze. He said, "But no! They left! They left me hanging on the edge of becoming a legend! A brilliant mind in the eyes of endless generations to come! Now...though," he walked up to The Doctor and became uncomfortably close to his muzzle, "I have you."

The bearded pony turned around once more and set a book on a previously unnoticed table. The Time Lord was too busy formulating plans of escape and/or survival to take in every detail of the fully lit room. The pages of the book flipped rapidly, until he found what he apparently was looking for. Turning around, he addressed The Doctor once more, "Now, here's what's going to happen. You're going to inform me of the technology that you utilize, and maybe even show us how it's done! Then, you're free to go," the end gave him a sliver of hope, "maybe." Nevermind then.

The Doctor had to think of something, and quick. Without really thinking, he blurted out, "Ah, but I'm not a technician!"

"Ooooh...I thought you'd say that," Starswirl said to the Time Lord, "which is why I prepared...this!" He pointed toward the book on the table. Without him standing over it, The Doctor could see it clearer without him in the way, it was in poor condition to say the least. Pages appeared to be torn out, the covers chipped and faded, and plain poor condition. There even seemed to be less light from the already dim lamps around it. "That book contains dark magic spells, or more specifically, spells used for, darker, purposes. In case you couldn't tell," Starswirl explained, adding a bit too much innocence to that last sentence.

"So," the unicorn looked him directly in the eye.

"Let's begin..."

Update.

So as you may or may not be aware I tend to be shit at being consistent with writing. That being said, I also tend to desert stories once I run out of ideajavascript:void( 0 );s or have lost interest in them. This happens to be the case with The Wonderous Misadventures of Doctor Whooves.

However, that doesn't necessarily mean the story's dead. I'm giving anybody the opportunity to take this story and continue it. If you want, I can throw in the 300-some words of the third part of Arc II I won't be finishing. I can also leave you to modify Arc II in the way you wish or completely throw it and let you start anew. Either way, PM me if you're interested.

Until then, The Wonderous Misadventures of Doctor Whooves is officially cancelled.

Thanks for the likes, faves, comments, and overall support. Sorry guise.