Princess Twilight, Mare-Do-Well And A Human Named Applejack Go For Tacos
by Grey Capstan
“Mmmph... ohhh...” Twilight Sparkle’s teeth ground away the baked corn shell, taking within her the shreds of lettuce and cheddar that were held within, like delicious hostages. She swallowed, feeling it roll on down to her royal stomach. Her eyes closed, wanting to focus her senses on the heavenly taste bubbling on her tongue. Her wings stretched out out of impulse.
“Pretty good, huh?” The teenage girl smiled, running one hand through her brown hair as she enjoyed the vegetarian delight with the other. She ignored the dashes of leafy green that spilled onto her navy blue blouse.
With her entire purple ensemble in tow, the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well nodded silently, extending her own wings.
“Oh, my goodness... it’s really hitting the spot.” The new Princess wrung some cricks from her neck, feeling her crown slide about on her head. “The food at that coronation could have been better. And it definitely would have been if you were catering, Applejack.”
“Well, I guess there isn’t a whole lot we can do now.” Applejack smirked playfully. “Except eat these tacos.”
A wet spot began to form on Mare-Do-Well’s mask from the steam of the Marexican delicacy as she stared down at it, a tongue-tip-shaped bulge emerging and moving around the mouth area.
Twilight smiled as she looked around the restaurant. Totally empty, just as she had requested, save for the two royal guards standing at the entrance, looking down at their hooves, as if lobsters were due to crawl out from under them at any moment.
“You know...” Applejack began, wanting to disrupt the silence, and knowing that MDW was not likely to do so any time soon. “These are great and all, but they would be a lot better if they had apples in them. You know, because I like apples and stuff.”
Mare looked over at the human, unable to emote well beneath the layer of polyester wrapped around her face.
Their Highness Twilight Sparkle Of Equestria returned her attention to them. “Sorry if I haven’t said a whole lot today, but, you know... everything’s so different now... it really is a lot to take.”
“I know how you feel, Twilight.” Applejack leaned in, arms crossed before the festive jalapeno-design plate. “I remember when the school cafeteria stopped serving the popcorn shrimp. The assembly cheers were never the same.”
Twilicorn nodded solemnly. “Then you know how I’m feeling right now.” Unable to resist another taste, she grabbed the taco and took another large bite. “Huh wudda thut ed beyu prinsuss?” She swallowed, choking another goodbye to bliss. “And now Rainbow Dash is moving away to become captain of the Wonderbolts. I guess it doesn’t help that she’s a little upset that I’m better at flying than she is.”
“She’ll get over it, I’m sure.” The girl resumed her regular eating stance, accidentally sweeping some pico de gallo onto her pleated skirt.
Mare-Do-Well excused herself from the table with a polite wave, taking the plate of uneaten food with her to the bathroom.
Twilight continued. “And then Fluttershy has to go and win the lottery. One. Million. Bits.” Her body towered over the table more and more with each word. “She says she’s gonna build the mansion over where her cottage used to be. She and Angel are sure gonna live it up.”
“Wow,” said the girl, exasperated. “That’s insane! Maybe sometime you oughta go live it up with her.”
The alicorn winced, sinking her head towards her shoulders. “I don’t know if I really want to see what Ponyville’s like, now that Pinkie Pie just got elected mayor.”
A bell jangled behind them, indicating the arrival of a third guard, his chest heaving along his sweaty, muscular frame. After a few breaths, he made his weak announcement. “Your Majesty... *puff, puff* The servants... *cough, wheeze* have arrived.”
The Princess smirked subtly as she admired the guard’s worked physique, his sweat-soaked mane and tail drooping and sticking to his pearlsome white coat. It took her a second to finally pull her mind away from his rippling, well-toned legs, clearing her throat. “Thank you very much, sir. Please send them in."
He nodded, trotting back out, nudging one of the sleeping guards at the door.
Applejack tilted her head, swallowing another tacolicious mouthful. “Servants?”
Twilight nodded. “Yep. Actually, I’ve sort of been working on this one long before I knew I’d become a princess.”
The bell rang again, and the guard returned with another. He elbowed the sleepers hard as he entered, waking them with gasps and quick head movements.
The second guard approached the all-powerful alicorn, holding in his hoof a lead connected to a chain. She traced the chain down across the eatery, finding its path ending at her new servants.
Trixie looked down at the floor, idly shifting her hooves around in the shackles that held her close to it. Her shame was unhideable, stripped of her cloak and cap. Behind her, Discord blushed, tugging his wrists against the anti-magic bonds. He looked over at what was left of the tacos on the table, licking his lips and frowning.
Twilight grinned, performing a motion of display with her forelegs. “Isn’t this great, AJ? They’re going to serve as my new assistants in Canterlot!”
Applejack smiled, her brown eyes shimmering at the draconequus’ sleek, slender appearance. “I think I’ll need to stop by your place sometime.”
The second guard kept his attention focused on his supreme ruler, tugging on the lead before he spoke. “We’re still trying to find Gilda and The Flim-Flam Brothers, Your Majesty.”
“Thank you, sirs. I very much appreciate it. Send them to the castle at once.”
The two stallions closed their eyes and nodded proudly, turning around and departing, the first one blowing a raspberry at the two doorponies, who puffed some air from their nostrils and mumbled inaudible words from their distance.
Twilight turned back to Applejack, blushing. “You wouldn’t believe how strict the child labor laws are, here. It’s going to be six years before I can get Diamond Tiara.”
The mention of child labor got a gear working in Applejack’s underaged brain. “Hey, if they’re gonna be your new assistants, what title does Spike get now?”
The purple pegacorn used her nonpareil magic to unfold the napkin beside her chipped plate. “Oh, he’s still going to be assisting at the library in Ponyville.”
“Who’s running the library now?”
Twilight floated the napkin to her lips, dabbing it at the greasy corners. “Well, Owlicious, of course. I wouldn’t have entrusted him with the task if I didn’t think he was up to it.”
The Mare-Do-Well returned from the restroom, levitating an empty plate towards them. She sat down wordlessly, a solitary yellow crumb sticking to her mask.
“Hey, Mare-Do-Well. You just missed my new assistants dropping by. You’ll see them around, though.”
The mysterious pony nodded slowly, holding back the urge to belch.
Twilight pushed her ceramic dish towards the center of the table, rubbing her belly through her frilly pink dress. “Phew... I don’t know about you girls, but I don’t think I could have another bite.”
Applejack looked down at her food. “Well, I can probably have a few more, myself.”
Twilight smiled. “Oh Applejack, you’re so honest. I’m so glad you were able to drop by.” She looked over at her hero hombre. “And you too, Mare-Do-Well. I’m so glad all my friends could join me for this celebration.”
“Of course we would,” said AJ, chuckling. “You deserve it.”
Twilight slowly got to her hooves, doing a royal curtsy. “I’ll see you girls around. I need to get back to the castle and begin my official duties. Being Princess of the Afternoon is hard work, for all I know.” She turned around and walked out, the two guards eying her neutrally.
As she got inside the golden cart and waited for the drivers to prepare for the trip home, she looked back inside the restaurant. Applejack had begun her pre-calculus homework, ignoring the rest of her entree. Mare-Do-Well was on the floor, unconscious from the lack of oxygen flow through the mask. The guards had begun a rapid-fire game of roshambo.
She continued to smile, her eyes wandering from the tableau, settling on a piece of paper taped to the door. Her expression faded as she realized that it was Rarity’s “Missing” poster.
She sighed, looking back at the harnessing pegasi and putting her perfect wings back to her side. She wasn’t going to think about it. She was a Princess, after all; she had to be strong for her subjects. All she wanted to do right then was get home, lay on her diamond dog-skin rug and throw another timber-wolf into the fireplace. Later on, when Luna took control of the sky, she could climb into bed with her teacher-turned-fiance, and show her just how hot and intense afternoons could be. She couldn’t wait. She just could not wait.
