The Magical Mystery Tour!

Back home.

I sat up like a rocket, covering my mouth with my hands. Nausea. Oh my god. I'm going to throw up, in my bed. I shoved the sheets off and, one hand still covering, ran to the bathroom.

My innards were forcefully extricated from within over the painful course of four minutes and fifty one point seven seconds. Yes, I counted.

I sat leaning against the cold wall, lights off, stripped to the underwear, trying to catch my breath.

"What...the FLYING FUCK...was THAT?" I yelled to nothing in particular.

Hello, Alistair.

I fumbled for my gun, before I remembered – I don't have one.

The new voice in my head chuckled. My name is Princess Luna of Equestria. I hope your return home was not too bad?

I had no idea how to respond with words.

Oh. Right. If you wish to speak to me, simply think what you wish to say towards my voice.

Like this?

Yes! Very good. You humans aren't completely stupid. Yes, that's good. The return trip?

I sighed in my head. Nothing short of shocking.

Luna laughed. Were you expecting different?

Possibly.

She laughed again. Alpha release.

I blinked in shock.

Well, I suppose Ponyville will be graced with your presence again tomorrow night. At least, in your time.

I have to do that all AGAIN?!

Yep.

Facepalm.

And, you, dear boy shall be seeing us, me and my sister, very soon.

What’s that supposed to mean?

A perfect copy of the princess of the Night, in holographic form, materialized in front of my eyes, in spite of the darkness of the restroom.

I squealed. Like a girl. Yep.

The holograph laughed. “Better?” It asked.

I shook my head. The form disappeared.

Whatever. Like I said, see you soon.

The feeling I had not noticed from the princess left my head as soon as her echoing voice burned off.

I sighed.

--

The next day passed too quickly for my liking. I actually can’t recall much from that day. So we’ll just skip over that…

I got home and put my bike away. Leaning against the cabinet like I had the previous night, I called out to Luna.

Do I really have to do this?

Silence for a second. Then…

Yes. Right now would be a damn good time, Alistair.

As much as I hate to say this, fine. I had a good guess as to what the disaster was this time.

I hope I’ll see you soon.

I thought for a second. I can’t go to sleep quickly enough to help out, Princess Luna.

This is Celestia.

Oh. The fact remains the same.

Loophole, found.

I felt a sucking sensation in my shoes, and I got an awful case of tunneled double vision.

There was a clatter, and then I disappeared.