Paté

by Leftover of Saikano

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3070

The mares shouldn't have ventured into one of Fluttershy's sheds.

Five mares skip breakfast. Then they find themselves locked inside a building obviously meant to store food, but the owner of the storage also feeds a variety of animals, so not all the food is pony food. Will they control their hunger and curiosity, or will they end up eating something not meant for pony taste buds?. It wouldn't be funny if they didn't.

Published 2013-11-18 19:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-18 19:30:03 UTC

The chapter with the ponies

Paté

It was a morning like any other in Ponyville. Spike had left for Canterlot yesterday and would not return until tomorrow, so Twilight Sparkle decided it was a good idea to have breakfast outside. Sugarcube Corner was the obvious option. Even with how much she loved her friend, dealing with Pinkie Pie so early in the morning would be undesirable, but she was in a good mood today, so she imagined she would be ok.

Most of the activity at that early hour was centered at the marketplace, so she saw few ponies on her way to the pastry shop. Even if she considered it implausible, she looked around to see if any of her friends was around. She didn't find any of them in the street, except for the mare who suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of her, causing her to jump backwards.

"Good morning, Twilight!" the blue mare said "What are you doing outside so early in the morning? Did you finally run out of books to read at night and decided to sleep early?"

"Good morning, Rainbow. Don't startle me like that. I am the one who should ask why you are awake so early."

"Are you kidding? The Weather Team wakes up before anypony else in Ponyville, possibly even before the Princess. Hehe. I already finished my first round, and was preparing for my first nap, until I saw you just under me and decided to, well, drop by."

"I see. Did you have breakfast already, Dash? I was in my way to Sugarcube Corner to eat something, and company of my friends is always good."

"Now that you mention it, I need to get some calories so I can burn them during my practice later. I am trying a new trick that will leave everypony in shock. It will be awesome. First, I start with basic backflip, but then--"

"You can tell me about it at the table." interrupted the librarian.

"Ok. I tell you, it's gonna be so cool."

Inside, they were received by Mrs. Cake. She had her mane in her usual style and wore a light pink apron. She stood behind the counter with a gentle smile on her face.

"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner. Oh, good morning Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash."

"Good morning Mrs. Cake. We are here for breakfast. Do you have any free tables?"

"All the tables are occupied, dear. But I'm sure the ponies at that table" she pointed with a hoof to the tables next to the fartest wall "won't mind sharing it with you two."

Looking at the table, Rainbow Dash and Twilight saw the ponies sitting there were no other than their friends Rarity and Applejack. Standing next to them, taking their orders, was their other friend Pinkie Pie.

Twilight just smiled to Mrs. Cake and made her way to the table.

"Pinkie Pie will take your orders, dear." said the older mare before moving to the kitchen.

Twilight and Rainbow were recognized by their friends halfway to their spot. Applejack and Rarity moved to the seats next to them, so their friends wouldn't need to pass over them to get a sit. Not that either Rainbow Dash or Twilight Sparkle lacked means to get to the place they want to be.

"What a wonderful surprise, girls," greeted Rarity "finding you here at this time. I was thinking it was coincidence enough to find Applejack not at the market.

"Ah did not expect mahself outta the market so early either. This Canterlot guy just came and said he wanted an apple. He couldn't decide fer one, and decided to just take the entire load. He even paid me for the cart. Now ah'm free the rest of the morning, least 'til Big Mac can fill 'nother cart and get it here."

"And you decided to use your money to go out with Rarity today, right?" sniped Rainbow Dash.

"Keep what you are hinting for yourself, Rainbow." Rarity answered with mock offense "I come here for breakfast three times a week, as a -she smiled- self reward for keeping with my aerobics routine the previous day. You would already know that if you didn't wake up past ten."

"Hey, it's not like that! I already explained it to Twilight. I wake up before the sun rises, and finish my job in a flash, so I just go back to sleep. When you are going, I'm already back."

"So, there are no usual breakfast reunions between all of you while I sleep, then?" asked Twilight "I should have been asleep until exactly 08:45, as I usually spend the nights reading. This is an exception, because yesterday I had no target to try the sleep spell I was practicing, I had to test it in myself, and now that the effect is over, I am fully rested."

"I assure you, darling, this is the first time we are all here together so early. Generally, I have only dear Pinkie to chat with, and she has to pay attention to the other customers too."

"Yup, usually it's just Rarity." The pink party pony decided the mention of her name was her cue to start talking "This must be some kind of fate-destined coincidence. You all know what this calls for?"

"We should all enjoy breakfast together. Great idea, Pinkie."

"Eh, yes. That's exactly what I was suggesting. Heehee."

"Just one thing." spoke Rainbow Dash "Now that we decided the breakfast should be 'all of us together', we cannot start without Fluttershy. That wouldn't be fair."

"You are right, Darling. We cannot leave her out."

"Fluttershy doesn't come to town this early 'cept when she needs food fer her critters, and she already went to the market yesterday."

"We should totally take our stuff and find her. We can have a morning picnic outside her house. Like a breakfast party!"

"And your job, Pinkie?"

"Eh? I already asked permission, silly. Didn't you see me go to the kitchen and back?"

"Well then, let's order something to take. Don't forget something for Fluttershy too."

The quintet went their way to the cottage near the Everfree forest without any inconvenience. It almost seemed as if problems were still sleeping at this hour.

Once there, they made their presence known at the front door, yet nopony seemed to be there to receive them. After convincing Pinkie of not using any of the methods that surely were already inside her head, as they didn't want to interrupt the sleep of possibly a hundred animals in varied states of taming, Rainbow Dash flew around the house to enter the bedroom window, generally left open by Fluttershy.

"There's nopony inside, but all the animals there have freshly served rations, so she must be outside feeding the others."

The mares decided to search around for her, but without separating, as they believed that would attract shenanigans. They searched at the corral, including the chicken coop. They checked at the hills where the rabbit holes were. They checked (from a safe distance) the cave of the bear living near the cottage. After checking a couple of other places, they stopped in front of one of the several sheds of Fluttershy.

"Do you think it would be ok to enter the shed?"

"Rainbow just entered her house. Entering a shed would be something minor in comparison."

"But, is it safe? I've never been inside, I don't know what we can find."

"It's obviously where Fluttershy keeps food for her animals. Food is only dangerous if you eat it."

"It's safe, girls!"

They looked at the place Pinkie Pie was a moment before. Only their picnic basket was left on that spot. The energetic mare was already waving at them from inside the little building. Shrugging, they all entered.

More than one of them yelped a little when the door closed behind them.

"Don't worry girls." said Rainbow "It's just the door. It's not like -she pushed the door. It didn't move- Uh-oh."

"Don't make jokes like that, Rainbow." Rarity tried the door too "Oh, my. It's stuck. This. Is the worst. Possible--"

"Hold yer horses, Rarity. It's not as if we all will be stuck her ferever. Fluttershy should come 'ere any moment to get more food fer her critters. And if she doesn't come soon, a good buck can convince any stubborn door."

And so, they decided to just wait for some minutes, that extended without them noticing, once they found a theme of conversation. They discussed their plans for the rest of the week, gave their opinion on recent events, and even considered if they would be ever be invited to the Grand Galloping Gala again. At some moment, Twilight made a comment about having read enough books to know where their situation was going, but she didn't want to go into further detail. Even Rainbow Dash found entertainment in the conversation at times, it was just Pinkie Pie who could not stay in one place, jumping, bouncing, running and all at the same time all around the place.

"Hey girls! Look what I found!" The hyperactive mare presented them a rectangular container, reminiscent of the ones used to make bread, but with a lid covering it.

"You shouldn't be touching anything here, Pinkie. What's that anyways?"

"I have no idea. But it's what Fluttershy gives me to feed Gummy."

"I hadn't noticed that thing before. Where did you find it?"

"Inside the refrigerated room, behind that plank."

"I cannot recognize the smell," said Rarity, lifting the lid "but it has traces of a variety of delicious spices. I wonder how it tastes."

"Don't do it, Rarity. You cannot just eat something unidentified."

"Don't worry, Twilight. I wasn't really about to eat it. It's just that, we left our picnic basket outside, and we have been postponing our breakfast for several hours now."

"Well, we are inside a food storeroom, there is a lot of stuff here we do know we can eat without problem. We will just pay to Fluttershy when she comes here."

"It doesn't seem to include any apples." Applejack had the tip of her hoof in her mouth after dipping it in the pink paste inside the container.

"Applejack!"

"What? You already said it. We're all inside a food storeroom. If dis is here, it must be food."

"It kinda reminds me of Gilda's beak." Rainbow Dash commented, having tried the mysterious food too "Hey don't look at me like that, you know I mean the smell of her breath, right? Girls?"

"You too, Rainbow? You shouldn't have done that. What if it contained something you are allergic to, or something like that?"

"Allergies shmalergies, that's for ponies who spend their entire day inside, like you. I have yet to find something I'm allergic to."

"Ah gotta admit it tastes like nothing Ah have tried before, but it's mighty fine."

"I have never tasted something like this before either. Except when I did, when Gummy emptied my plate and I reciprocated. Except his plate was empty too, and I just ate what I could lick out of it. Reciprocate is a funny sounding word, actually. It's not really a word I use a lot."

"You are a scientist, Twilight. Don't you have a curious mind?"

"I don't just put stuff in my mouth for the scientific interest. At least not since I was a one year old filly."

"And what about you, Rarity? Will you say eating this is unladylike or something like that?"

"Nothing like that, dear. I already stated my curiosity about this pink, eh, could the word 'paste' apply to it? Only the act of sticking my hoof inside it and then in my mouth would be somewhat displeassant."

"Well, excuse me ma'am. I didn't know I had to bring a spoon here. So, you'll just keep curious because you don't want to eat with your hooves?"

"Oh. That won't be neccesary. I think I saw some bread around here earlier. That will be enough to taste it."

"And now you, Rarity?"

"Come on, Twilight. We are just expanding a bit our gastronomic experiences." Rarity took some of the substance with a little piece of bread in her telekinesis "Mmmhhhh. This thing is absolutely delicious! I should ask Fluttershy for the recipe."

Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash started to eat with more confidence, spreading the material on bread.

"Aren't ya hungry, Twilight?" Said Applejack, in between servings.

"I am. But I will not eat something I don't know. This is one of those peer pressure situations, I have heard about them."

"Ah mean eating something else. There's a lot of foodstuff around. Ya said so. We would not press you. Except maybe Rainbow, but ya know not to do everything she says."

"Hey! I heard you!"

"Well, if you put it like that, I could eat some of that thing."

And so, Twilight Sparkle joined her friends in devouring the mystery meal until the container was empty. Combined with the bread, it was enough to sate the hunger of the ponies.

"Now I would like a soda." Pinkie Pie opens the door of the shed, and stops under the door frame "Wait, the fridge was that way.

"No, Pinkie!" All the other girls shouted "Don't close the door!"

The last word coincided with the sound of the door being slammed shut. After testing the door again, it revealed to be one more time stuck shut. With resignation, the ponies readied themselves for more waiting. Their wait lasted only some seconds, as even before Pinkie could reach the refrigerated room, the entry door of the shed opened a little, and a pink mane peeked inside.

"Hello? I heard the door closing. Is somepony here?" A timid voice whispered.

"Fluttershy! Thank goodness you are here."

"Uh, girls? What are you doing inside my shed?"

"We came to invite you for breakfast. We searched around your house, and ended up stuck here for the entire day."

"Oh my Goodness. That's terrible. At least here is a lot of food, and you didn't have to resort to-" Fluttershy notices the now empty container on the floor "Oh, my."

"Don't worry, Fluttershy. We'll pay you for what we ate. Oh, and you have to give me this recipe."

"It's, it's not that. It's just, just, it's just that..."

"Speak louder, sugarcube. Ah can't hear yah."

"Sorry. Paté is not for ponies. I give it to animals with a, well, different diet."

"Well, your animals really eat well. This tastes better than what I have for dinner when I can't find a restaurant."

"It's not that. You see, paté is, well..."

"Fluttershy..."

"Paté is made of meat!" the pegasus finally shouted, and took refuge behind her pink mane.

Even with their different reactions, all the girls could express was shock. Rarity even fainted, and it was a real, sincere fainting, and not what she does when she's being overdramatic.

"So that's why it tasted like Gilda..."

"Oh no, oh no! This is terrible. We were eating meat. And we enjoyed it. Something that was once an animal. Something that breathed, walked and had a family. When Princess Celestia finds out, she will banish us. To the Everfree. With the manticores and hydras. Or maybe with the griffons. We'll have to fight them to decide who will eat who."

"Wait a moment, sugarcube. The princess doesn't have to know. We'll all jest run away. We'll all go to Appleloosa, yes, to Appleloosa. And we'll change our names. Ah'll be Rainbow Sparkle, and yah'll be Flutter Pie, and we'll say we're all a group of mystery-solving musicians. Ah play the fiddle pretty nice in mah opinion."

"Why do animals have to be so delicious? That's not fair. I cannot be punished just for eating something! There can be no witnesses. Everypony here leaves after Pinkie Promising or leaves as a paté!"

"Take that out of your mind, Pinkie. This can't be something so drastic. I'm sure Celestia will be cool with this." said Rainbow Dash, holding an improvised club behind her back, just in case Pinkie (or any other of her friends, at this point) didn't listen to reason.

Fluttershy came out from behind her mane, with a little smile.

"So, you all enjoyed the paté? That's a relief."

"What are yah sayin', Fluttershy?"

"I believed I was the only pony who liked meat. I felt so guilty. I felt I was some kind of monster. I feared I had to live outside of pony society, like a misfit."

"Fluttershy, you already live like a misfit."

"Oh, sorry. I think I kind of do."

Fluttershy's confession calmed the other ponies a lot. If she could eat meat and still be the gentlest pony they knew, then it cannot be so bad. Rarity, now awake again, even considered if such a diet could be Fluttershy's cosmetic secret, she had an enviable body, after all.

"Tell me this paté was fat-free, darling."

"Uh, actually... I'm sorry."

Rarity fainted once again. But this time, it was followed by the laughs of the now relaxed mares around her. Once she recovered, the girls left the shed for Fluttershy's house, to try something she called "baconator". They decided that, even if they had to hide it from the rest of the ponies, they would accept their newly discovered omnivore nature. After all, it's not so much what enters the mouth of a pony, but what comes out of it, or something like that.

"It makes me really happy to know I'm not alone in this anymore. Not having to hide this secret from my friends."

"It's all right, Fluttershy. I guess sometimes it's good to break the taboos. You never know what kind of wonders you can find past the walls of society."

"And just wait until you taste pony meat."

END.

Author's Note

Pâté (French pronunciation: [pɑte]; UK: /ˈpæteɪ/, US: /pɑˈteɪ/) is a mixture of cooked ground meat and fat minced into a spreadable paste. Common additions include vegetables, herbs, spices, and either wine or cognac, armagnac or brandy. Pâté can be served either hot or cold, but it is considered to develop its fullest flavor after a few days of chilling. Taken from Wikipedia.

And here we have this old brony writing in a language he doesn't even speak.