Alcohol, dancing and intimate discussions about the universe leads to something that starts with 'S'...
A Night to Remember: Or why you should get drunk at other pony’s weddings
Alcohol, dancing and intimate discussions about the universe lead to something that starts with 'S'
Rainbow Dash shoved another small cupcake into her mouth and chewed happily on the sweet treat. She was tempted to take the whole plater, find an isolated corner somewhere and wait out the rest of the night there in comparative peace and quiet. A hard look from Applejack who was watching over her baked creations like a hawk dissuaded her from doing so.
‘Not a chance, Sugarcube.’ The look said, the cowpony shaking her head the tiniest amount. Rainbow sighed in frustration and straightened her dress slightly, resisting the urge to just rip the thing off and go for a fly. Instead she put a fake smile on her face and tried to enjoy herself. She moved slowly through the crowd, she didn’t know anypony here and although she had seen Spitfire and few of the other Wonderbolts prowling around earlier, they were probably too busy doing whatever it was they did at high society events to even bother with her. Finding herself suddenly emerging from the crowd and standing on one of Canterlot palace’s many balconies, she cast a dissatisfied look across the city. She imagined she could make out the carriage of the newly wed Shining Armour and Princess Cadance below her trundling quietly through the cobbled streets but dismissed the notion as preposterous; the bride and groom were long gone.
“Wish I had someone right now…” She muttered under her breath dourly. While she wasn’t exactly thinking in a romantic sense here, she could’ve just about done with anypony right now. She was feeling a little lonely and her friends were all enjoying themselves. Twilight was still bubbling over her brother’s wedding and was as running all over the place like a certain orange filly did when her idol was around. Rarity had found a nice upper-class crowd to talk to where Rainbow didn’t feel comfortable at all. Applejack, as she had seen before was busy replenishing the snacks and owing to Rainbow’s habit of sneaking bites in here and there, wasn’t welcome there at all. Fluttershy… well; only Celestia knew where she was. The skittish mare had vanished from the wedding party as soon as she had been able to. And Pinkie… Rainbow Dash didn’t even want to think about what Pinkie was doing. It hurt her head to even think about it, she was very sure ponies were not supposed to bend like that. Sighing in frustration, she stared out into the night sky; it was a beautiful, almost cloudless night. The moon had risen high in the sky and was casting its white light in such a way that just seemed to be soaked up by everything.
“Oh, hello.” A slightly surprised voice said. She turned around to take in a confused looking stallion wearing an officer’s uniform. A small tray with a couple of bottles and glasses, presumably 'borrowed' from the bar, were balanced on his back. Soarin turned his head quickly, making the drinks wobble precariously on their perch.
“Hi…” Rainbow Dash said flatly, immediately recognising the Pegasus as Soarin, one of the Wonderbolts she had met briefly at the gala. While normally she would be thrilled to see one of her heroes in the flesh, her sour evening had curbed her enthusiasm somewhat.
“Uh… I don’t suppose you’ve seen my friend? He was…um... just out here a few minutes ago.” Soarin asked, slightly taken aback by her lukewarm greeting.
“No.” Rainbow Dash said, shaking her head slowly. “Sorry.”
Soarin shrugged and trotted out to her, deciding to make the best of the situation. “Can’t be bothered going back in there to look for him, in the future if Wave Chill wants a drink he can get it himself.” He said, placing one of the glasses on the balustrade running around the balcony and pouring a decent amount of the pilfered liquor into it. Remembering he now had company, he turned to Rainbow Dash and offered it to her. “Drink?”
She looked at the drink for a moment before taking the glass and downing the concoction in a single gulp.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Soarin said, staring out at the city below them. His eyes lingered on the sprawling city for a moment before rolling back slowly to examine his female companion with a curious look. Rainbow Dash felt a slow heat rising in her cheeks when the stallion didn’t look away, his deep green eyes continuing to scrutinise her slender form. “Do I know you…?” He asked eventually.
“Rainbow Dash.” She said. “Grand Galloping Gala, Best young fliers competition… Well, you were mostly unconscious for that.” She added quietly.
“Oh yeah!” Soarin said enthusiastically. “I’m Soar-.”
“I know who you are.” Rainbow Dash chuckled lowly. “I think everypony here knows you.”
“Oh yeah… Kinda takes the fun out of meeting new ponies when they all know you already.” Soarin said sadly, his ears drooping a little. She caught him looking her over again. “So what are you doing out here by yourself? Not a party girl?”
“Nah, just bored. Frustrated.” Rainbow muttered. “Not really my sort of party… Too posh… don’t know anypony.”
“You know me.” Soarin pointed out, taking a measured sip of his drink.
“Last time I tried hanging out with you the camera got to spend more time with you than I did.” Rainbow muttered, pouring herself another glass of liquor and downing it with gusto.
Soarin grinned meekly. “Oh yeah. Sorry about that, by the way.” He lapsed into silence gain for a moment again. He watched curiously as Rainbow Dash put her glass on the railing and nudged it forward slightly.
“What are you-“ He was interrupted as the glass tipped over the side, landed in the garden below and smashed to pieces, probably destroying some poor fluffy creature’s home in a shower of glass. He shook his head, not wanting to question his companion’s strange antics.
“Oops.” She mumbled quietly. She grabbed Soarin’s now empty glass and started nudging it towards a similar fate.
“Okay, how about you come with me,” Soarin said hastily, not sure if he was motivated by a strange desire to save the castle’s glassware or by the chance to spend some more time with the borderline insane yet beautiful mare next to him.
“Where?” She asked, looking up from the glass she had sentenced to ‘Smashy-time.’
“Come have a dance with me, you’ll feel better.”
Rainbow Dash looked at him in stunned silence. “What?”
“Dance with me, come on, it’ll be fun.” Soarin said as he plucked the glass off the railing before it tumbled away to its fate. He gave the mare a small nudge to get her moving.
“Really? You want me to dance with you?” Rainbow asked incredulously.
“Yes really, consider it repayment for my rude behaviour last time we met.” Soarin urged. “Besides, I couldn’t just leave a pretty mare like you all on her lonesome for the night, could I?” He added, a suave grin making its way onto his face.
Rainbow’s face flushed. She had to be dreaming; no way in Equestria would one of the Wonderbolts, especially Soarin, be not-so-subtly hitting on her.
“Okay, fine.” Rainbow said, poorly hiding her excitement. “Just once though okay? And no more funny business, got it?”
“I’m a true gentlecolt, I’d never stoop to such acts.” Soarin said with mock sincerity, making Rainbow Dash giggle.
“You’re a funny one.” She said as they moved to the dance floor together. “You’re from here.” She gestured to the upper-crust ponies around them. “But you act like you’re… normal.”
“I’m down to earth, yes?” Soarin said, hovering half a meter off the ground.
“You’re awful…” Rainbow Dash said dryly.
“Thank you, I try my best.” Soarin said, taking her hoof and spinning her slowly to the music performed by the small orchestra hired for the event. “Tell me about yourself, Rainbow Dash, I know you’re a fantastic flier… and good looking… but that’s about it.”
“What’d I say about funny business?” Rainbow said back, hitting him softly on the shoulder before draping her fore hooves around his neck in an entirely hypocritical fashion. Soarin raised an eyebrow but otherwise remained impassive. “I’m from this little town called Ponyville, I run the weather patrol there. I have five wonderful friends, four of whom I haven’t seen for the last three hours and one who has probably seen too much of me.” She nodded at a cross looking Applejack and the food table.
“You’re big eater?” Soarin asked with a gleam of approval in his eye.
“On occasion.” Rainbow shrugged, swaying slowly in time with the music. She would’ve preferred a more upbeat song but she appreciated the opportunity to talk to somepony… especially somepony as prestigious as a Wonderbolt.
“You were one of the bridesmaids weren’t you… how’d you get a deal like that?” Soarin asked curiously, spinning her around slowly again.
“One of my friends is the groom’s sister.”
“Ah.” he said simply, his unblinking eyes not breaking contact with Rainbow’s. She had to fight the sudden urge to lay her head across his shoulder. “So if you’re not from Canterlot, where are you staying?”
Rainbow gestured somewhere vaguely towards the castle. “Nice suite up there. Don’t even think about inviting me back to some dingy military barracks.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Soarin said, not quiet telling the truth.
“What about you?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Tell me a bit about yourself.”
“I’m sure you know everything about me.” Soarin grinned.
“Well, not everything…” Rainbow Dash said coyly.
“Whatever happened to no funny business?” Soarin asked, snorting in amusement.
“That’s not what I meant, you idiot.” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. The song ended with a smattering of light applause but she still had her hooves wrapped around the stallion’s neck, their faces inches apart.
“Of course, what was I thinking?” Soarin remarked dryly, a small smile forming on his face.
***
The night became much more jovial after that and she had started warming to the stallion, who’d insisted after his twelfth drink that ‘Drinking is just another sport I happen to be very bad at.’ Rainbow Dash hadn’t gone any easier on the drinks than he had and anypony that happened to walk past their secluded garden-side table would have thought them to be a pair of drunken hooligans rather than the distinguished wedding guests they were.
“You see, this is why I wish I had a job like yours.” Soarin muttered as another pony trotted past them, a disapproving look on his face. “Nopony would care so much about everything I did.”
“Why?” You get… everything as a Wonderbolt. It’d be great.” Rainbow slurred, running a hoof around the rim of her glass and gazing at the Wonderbolt in an adoring fashion.
Soarin snorted. “Early mornings, reasonable pay, celebrity status, fighting the vilest of Equestria’s enemies at the drop of a hat. Not that much to write home about.”
“I don’t get why you’re whining, that sounds like fun. I wish I was a Wonderbolt. We could fly around together all day, tell jokes, laugh, mush our faces together… I mean, uh… bash our heads together and maybe even be back-to-back badasses.” She adopted a mock fighting pose and kicked out at an imaginary enemy.
“Mush our faces together…” Soarin repeated slowly. “I think you’re drunk, Miss Dash. You’re forgetting your own rules.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t hear him. “So why are you whining? You’re a Wonderbolt. You’ve got everything!”
Soarin’s eyes narrowed “I've had enough of this ‘I’m a Wonderbolt’ lark. I’m not. I’m a normal pony. Flawed, stupid, prone to peer pressure, moaning and cursed with the inability to indefinitely metabolise alcohol. As a pony, I will whine all I bloody well feel like, irrespective of what job or position I hold in society, and I'll whine less when I'm enjoying a fun, relaxing, carefree night out with a beautiful mare like yourself and not being told continually that I’m something that I’m not.”
Rainbow Dash’s jaw fell open a little as her inebriated brain tried to make sense of Soarin’s little tirade.
“You don’t like being a Wonderbolt?” She asked finally.
“On the contrary, I love it.” Soarin sighed. “I just wish more ponies would treat me like… you know, a real pony, and not just as a loud yappy thing in a flight suit.”
Rainbow Dash took his hoof and patted it gently. “Well you’re my special loud yappy thing in a flight suit.”
“Thanks.” Soarin mumbled. “Ya know, this is the first good night I’ve had in a while.” He fiddled with his tie which was hanging at an angle he probably considered jaunty but Rainbow thought just made him look like a tool.
“Don’t mention it.” Rainbow muttered, placing her head on the cool metal of the table with a content sigh. “Maybe I should head home… This party is starting to wind down… and I’m pretty smashed.” She mumbled, hoping Soarin’s drunkenness would encourage him to do something stupid and chivalrous, like offer to take her home.
“Yeah probably… You want a hoof getting back?” Soarin asked despite the fact he had drunken more than Rainbow had.
“Yeah that’d be great.” She replied, her mind doing a little backflip in celebration.
“Wait here a sec; I’ll just let the team know what I’m doing. Don’t want them getting worried and sending out a search party to all the pubs in Canterlot after me.” Soarin muttered, managing to walk in a straight enough line to the other side of the crowded garden where the other Wonderbolts relaxed. He talked with what looked like Spitfire for a moment before she turned and gave a quiet speech to the laid back flight team. While Rainbow Dash couldn’t hear what she said, she could make a fairly good guess by the team’s reaction. A few wolf-whistles and catcalls followed Soarin as he trotted back across the gardens, an embarrassed as all hell look on his face.
“Care to fill me in?” a bemused Rainbow Dash asked, clambering to her hooves.
Soarin’s ears flattened against his head. “I’m sure that isn’t necessary.”
“Haha, sure it isn’t.” Rainbow said, elbowing him in the ribs knowingly.
***
The two pegasi soared through the sky happily, their flight paths slightly wobbly yet remarkably controlled for ones of their degree of inebriation.
“Where to, ma’am?” Soarin asked, beating his large wings furiously to keep up with her. She pointed to the top of Canterlot castle and an annoyed groan escaped Soarin’s lips.
“That’s high… I hate climbing… too much hard work and all for nothing when you go back down again. You know what I like more than climbing?” He asked, pulling ahead slightly.
“What?”
“Falling.” He replied, flaring his wings dramatically before plummeting like a rock. He fell a good hundred meters before unfurling his wings again and landing gently on a large bank of clouds. Rainbow Dash tutted quietly before gliding more gracefully down to his level and alighting the cloud, barely displacing a tuft of the white mass.
“Now you have to climb more.” She pointed out.
“I know.” Soarin said back, flopping on his back and gazing into the inky blackness of the night sky with a stupid grin. “I just wanted to spend a bit more time with you before my duties as your chaperone are done.” The trade-off was worth it in his mind. In the few hours they’d spent together Soarin could really feel a connection between the two of them. She was a lot like him… just without a dick and dare he say, not as smart or good looking. Soarin blinked rapidly; he must’ve been drunker than he thought to be thinking like that.
Rainbow Dash shrugged and flopped down next to him.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?’ Soarin asked, waving at the stars speckled across the night sky. High above the city and scarce cloud cover, the pair had an almost perfect view of the heavens.
“Yeah. Kinda like fireflies.”
“Makes you wonder…”
“Wonder what?” Dash asked.
“Doesn’t it make you wonder if there’s anything else out there? Or is it just us…” He trailed off.
“Not really.” Rainbow admitted.
“Haven’t you ever thought how tiny we are in the grand scheme of things?”
“Not really, no.”
“I’ll explain. Imagine looking down at the world from up there; the world would just be a pale blue dot against the nothingness of space.”
“Just a dot.” Dash rumbled. “So?”
“Consider that dot though. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On that little speck of nothingness is everypony you’ve ever heard of, everypony you know and love, everything that ever was… that’s where they lived their lives.” Soarin mumbled. “The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love…” He briefly locked eyes with Rainbow Dash as she listened silently. “Every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on that tiny mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam." He paused, not sure where his wordy lecture was going but knowing, somewhere, somehow an alien astronomer would be pissed that he had stolen its speech.
“It’s sort of a sobering prospect, isn’t it?” Soarin finished.
“Soarin, I think you’re rambling.” Dash said, prodding him gently in the stomach and snuggling up next to his warm body.
“I know, must be really drunk if I’m prattling on about the universe.” He rolled his head over and looked at Rainbow Dash. “Really justifies eating a whole cake though, doesn’t it?”
Rainbow laughed loudly, caught off guard by his offhand comment. After her mirth had died down, they gazed at the stars in silence; perhaps pondering the meaning of existence in their small world. Rainbow Dash lost track of the time they spent up there with her head resting gently on his shoulder, the steady rise and fall of Soarin’s chest as he breathed silently the only movement. If somepony had told her this how she would’ve spent her evening she would have laughed at them but now that she was here nestled silently against her idol…no, her friend; it just felt right.
“I suppose that one day I’ll look back and blame being drunk and philosophical for what I’m about to do.” Soarin said, breaking the stillness.
“What’s th-?” Rainbow started to say but was cut off by Soarin pressing his lips against hers.
The tension that had permeated between them the entire evening suddenly snapped and Rainbow Dash pushed back with a sudden passion that surprised Soarin. Her soft tongue brushed softly against his lips, demanding entry into the cavern beyond. After a moment his mouth opened and their tongues intertwined in a fiery dance rivalling Pinkie Pie at a dance concert. This is what she had been wanting since they’d danced together and now that he had made the opening move in the game, she was all too happy to play along. Soarin, pinned underneath her, rubbed his hooves down the sides of her body and over the base of her wings eliciting small groans of delight from the lithe flier.
“We’re gonna end up… back in my… suite, in bed with each other… aren’t we?” Rainbow moaned.
“Well unless you’ve… forgotten the way home.” Soarin mumbled. “It’s looking… pretty likely.”
She broke the passionate contact and stared deep into Soarin’s green eyes. “Good.” She uttered in a lustful tone before pushing her face against Soarin’s with reckless vigour again.
“What about your friends?” Soarin asked, massaging her back softly with his hooves. “They’ll hear us won’t they?”
“Yeah, I guess...” Rainbow said with a soft chuckle.
“You’re a naughty mare.”
“You thought I got all this way by being nice?”
***
Rainbow Dash opened her eyes lazily. She rolled over, quickly shutting them as a few rays of sunlight assaulted her retinas viciously. Her head throbbed in sympathy as she rolled over again.
No Soarin.
She shrugged, not entirely surprised. It would’ve been nice if what they’d had wasn’t just a one night stand; she’d really started to like the guy (not that she’d ever admit that). But alas he was a celebrity and she was just a lowly weather manager so in her mind, the chances of something happening in the department were below zero. She groaned again as a flood of memories came back from last night. After their passionate, alcohol fuelled making-out session on the cloud she’d led him back here… and well… showed him a good time. She opened her eyes again and took in the scene of the messy and slightly damp bed sheets. Her dress from last night lay crumpled in the middle of the floor in such a way that would have had Rarity howling for blood at the mere sight of it. A few empty bottles and playing cards lay strewn around the room and most confusingly a full sized surf board was propped up in the corner.
“What the hell?” She asked herself, falling out of bed with the grace of a drunken buffalo. She swaggered over the surf board and examined it closely; a small note was attached at her eye level. She glared at the note, demanding it give up its secrets but her eyes couldn’t focus well enough to read it. Tearing the note off the board, she stumbled to her door, yanked it open and stumbled into the common room before falling face first onto the couch.
“Morning.” A voice belonging to Twilight said from the direction of the elegant dining table.
“My head…” Rainbow moaned, burying her face in a pillow.
“Don’t whine, you knew what you were in for after drinking that much… Oh and by the way, I wear noise reducing earplugs when I sleep. They didn’t work.” She said flatly.
“Oops.” Rainbow Dash said into the pillow, not really meaning it.
“I barely got a wink last night.” A southern voice that could only be Applejack’s added. “I have to say, I don’t I’ve ever heard the phrase, ‘Giddy up!’ used in quite that way before.”
Rainbow Dash lifted a wing above the back of the couch and folded part of her wing in, leaving a single part of her feathery appendage showing in what was considered a crude fashion. She heard Applejack stand up angrily before presumably being forced back down by Twilight.
“How’s she doin’ that?” Applejack demanded.
“I don’t know, wings aren’t normally supposed to do that…” Twilight muttered, peering at Rainbow’s wing curiously. “How are you doing that?”
“I’m hungover, I don’t know what I’m even doing awake.” Rainbow countered, throwing the note in the air. She flapped her wing sending the sheet of paper spiralling towards the table. “Read it for me please, I can’t.”
“Maybe you should’ve drunk less…” Twilight said, plucking the note out of the air and levitating it in front of her eyes.
“Maybe you should’ve got laid.” Rainbow snapped grumpily. “Come on, spill the beans egghead.”
Twilight threw an annoyed look at Rainbow Dash but cleared her throat regardless.
“Rainbow Dash: Sorry I had to dash off… See what I did there? Haha, yeah you’re right it was awful I’ll hit myself..”
“He didn’t write that.” Rainbow huffed.
“No, that’s what’s written here…” Applejack said.
“Whatever, get on with it!”
“Anyway, sorry for ditching you so soon but I’m a pretty busy stallion. Last night was awesome; maybe we could do it again sometime? I’ll have to check my duty roster but I should be free tonight if you want to hang out again. We could go get a coffee or something if that’s okay with you, I’d love to get to know you a bit better. I’ll swing around later today anyway so we can organise something as I probably won’t get another chance to see you before you head off home. Thanks again.” Twilight stopped reading and muttered something under her breath. “He’s crossed out the words ‘Love, Soarin’ and replaced it with ‘Your fuck-buddy who is most definitely not as fast as Rainbow Dash is in bed.’ Care to comment, Rainbow?” Twilight asked with a giggle.
“No.” She mumbled, flushing red in embarrassment.
“Well, I think that’s nice that he wants to see you again.” Applejack said in a tone that didn’t quite agree with the words she was saying “Our little Rainbow has gone and got herself a boyfriend.”
“Better than you, Applebag.” Rainbow Dash snapped. A stray thought crossed her mind “It doesn’t say anything about a surfboard on there does it?”
Twilight gave her friend a quizzical look but scanned the note quickly before flipping it over. “Oh… missed something.’ P.S. Don’t ask about the surfboard, I’ve got no idea in hell where it came from or how we managed to it in there.’”
Author's Note
The thing that alcohol, dancing and intimate discussions about the universe leads to is undoubtedly 'Surfboards'. Anyone who answered 'Sex' really needs to go get their head checked out.
Seriously, what kind of writer do you take me for?
On an unrelated note, this story was completely written on a whim and was not planned or intended in any, way, shape or form.
