The Ballad of Pinkie Pie - Remastered!

You know...I've learned something about the world...

There are things in this world...

Things I would have liked to have forgotten...

Things I would have liked never to learn...

Secrets...dark secrets. Lies...villainy...hatred. Oh the malice, oh the malice that filled those bones...those smiles...those insensitive bastards of whatever hell they deserved to be damned to! Damn them all!

How could they have forgotten...I know they didn't...who could? Could you...? Could you forget after the blood has run cold and sluggish...? Could you forget once the limbs lie still and no longer move with life and beauty? Of course not...

I watched...as the life left those eyes, I watched them glaze...I watched the spark fade from his soul...and his body turn to ice. I watched it from my own mind as the fair mare whispered the dark words onto this frail, icy...wretched air! Oh such wretched air! The very stench...the very texture...thick as the blood which ran over those little...pretty hooves...those happy, lovely hooves.

The fair Princess...oh she told me...oh she told me countless times to not go...to please, not pursue the case in the quest for knowledge! Oh how foolish...foolish and stupid I was! If only I had known...if only I had listened! Oh Celestia, Celestia I beg of you, forgive me! Forgive my poor, foolish prying, my thirst for the answers! I had to know, I had to! Don't you understand?

Unfortunately...I cannot change the past...nopony can. I wish I could but I cannot.

Therefore I listened...and learned.

Learned of her tale...the tragic...bloody tale....

The pain...the misery....everything.

The ballad..

Her...Ballad...

The Ballad of Pinkie Pie...

The place, Equestria. The time, a wretched one. Greed, villainy, corruption, oh how it was everywhere. Celestia had never been the same since Doctor Hydro Gen betrayed her all those years ago...the time in which he committed mass genocide by unleashing the devastating Rain-Nuke across his fellow ponies...

Luna was in no condition to run the country...she was still so fresh from the moon...no...not at all. To the courts Equestria went, right into the grubby, power hungry hooves of those who called themselves 'leaders'. Rubbish, all of it...every last word. To hell with their 'Royal Court' and their 'Great Advisers', the ones who proclaimed they were taking good care of Celestia while they let the Justice System of the world rot...

In a way...I was glad, I was overjoyed that this happened!

But at what cost....? The cost of something as...as horrid as this. Was it her soul...? Was it her sanity...? What caused this...what caused her to go...? It is these answers that I hungered for...it is these answers that I hunted for. My journey begins on a cargo vessel sailing in from the Gryphotonic Mountains of the far north...a time in which the ice was still thawing but was still cold enough to cause a pony to think twice before venturing outwards without a coat or scarf. I wish I could spare you the tragedy laced in these words...the deadly poison that drips from them potent enough to scar and maim the mind forever. Though I wish I could take it back, I cannot hope to restrain you from reading what follows for the sake of your curiosity.

Please...reader...viewer...my lovely...innocent friend.

Forgive me....forgive me for what I have done and where I have tread. I warn you against venturing any further...against finding the answers! I beg of you to not make the mistake I did! Alas...curiosity is a dreadful thing....and may you learn it soon...

Read...and listen on...if you dare. If you dared like I did...

And regretted it...forever....

And with that...I present to you...

The Ballad of Pinkie Pie