I Hide

by Jubilancy

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 1038

Rarity has something to admit.

Everypony looks at me as if I'm beautiful and perfect. On the outside I succeed in matching that profile. On the inside I'm scared and envious. I may be generous to all, but want I really want is to snatch their every quality.

You guys wanted another confession story, so here it is.

Published 2013-03-03 03:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-03 03:00:01 UTC

I Hide

Oh, what am I doing with my life!
I'm fake!
I wear make up
False eyeslashes!
This accent?
Aha, it's not real!
I don't remember how I used to talk but it was not this.
I don't have true beauty!

True beauty, ha!
You want to know what true beauty is?
True beauty is waking up with your hair a muss and strutting around the town in your most comfortable attire!
True beauty is being confident
True beauty is not on the outside!
No-ho-ho.
True beauty is NOT ME.

And what do I do?
Aha, I make dresses!
Dresses that help other ponies look like me!
Stop, ponies!
You do not want to look like me!
Your beauty will be physical!
Your inner beauty will diminish
Vanish!
Disappear!
All will be lost!
You'll live in agony for weeks!
No months,
No, YEARS!

Your life will be ruined!
Oh look what it has done to me!
Almost ruined my life!
My sanity is slipping away bits and pieces at a time
I can feel it!
I nearly missed out on quality time with my sister because of my... my
Petty concerns about fashion!
My sister!
My little sister!
Oh, Sweetie Belle!
Fluttershy you were so right!
I am so frivolous!
Ugh, I'm disgusting!
Revolting
Wretched, I tell you!
Wretched!

Now, Rarity.
Don't lose yourself.
Remain dignified.
Remember what your mother told you.
Remember what ladies are supposed to be.
How they behave,
Calm
Tranquility
Serenity
Quiet
Sweet
Collected
Cool

Count to ten
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten.

Okay...
I feel a bit better now.

I saw Applejack today.
She's such a hard worker.
The poor dear, out there bucking trees for hours on end
Her hair a muss
Sweat pouring down her forehead.
Her eyes squinted against Celestia's Sun.
Never have I seen a pony look as messy as that.
Messy and beautiful
The blonde hair in her face brings out the intensity of her eyes.

Ah, that Earth Pony is so confident!
Oh, how she struts about
Her head held high!
When you compliment her she acts as if you've just shown her something perverted.
Oh, listen to me!
"Perverted"
A lady should not say such things!
Ahaha, things just slip out at times, you know.
You don't mean to let them out, but they come anyway!
Yes...
They certainly do, don't they...?

I have said so many things I wish I could take back.
Like when I called Fluttershy "gullible"
How unladylike of me!
Fluttershy, dear, I do apologize.
I wasn't feeling quite myself that day.

Now where was I?
...
Oh, yes!
The "things" I have said.
Yes..
Well, I didn't mean them.
Honestly I guess I say those things because I'm jea- HMMMMPH
I, er.. MMHHURRM I seem to have something in my throat.
I'm j-MMHERG- excuse me!
I just don't know what's with me today!
I've said this word before, I just have no-ho-ho idea how...
Anyway... I'm jealous.

Yes, get over yourself!
The Element of Generosity is jealous, get it out of your system.
Go ahead!
I am done hiding it for a bit..
I know what you're thinking, dear.
How could a Unicorn as fabulous as myself be jealous?
Well, it's simple darling.

Beauty has never exactly been one my more... "natural" qualities.
The first time I wore fake eyelashes was just before I got cutie mark.
"Mother," I said.
"I don't want these things! They're dreadful, positively dreadful!"

"Hush, Rarity. Beauty is painful."
Yes, it certainly is.
Everyday she showed me how to curl my mane and tail
How to apply the eyelashes
She took me to the spa and told me that I should spoil myself now and then.
Years passed.
Now here I am, pushing these things onto my friends.

The qualities I wish I possessed are not seen, but felt.
I wish I had Twilight's brains, I've heard many a stallion say that that's a turn on.
Not to mention her mane, it's positively bold and gorgeous!
Even her name is beautiful.
"Twilight Sparkle" - how can you not get chills just from saying it!

Then there's Fluttershy, oh the number of things I wish I could have from her!
Her soft voice
Her quiet personality, which is as beautiful as she is I might add.
Her physical form isn't too bad either.
She's slender,
Her wings are a bit large for the average Pegasus
Beautiful nonetheless.

Rainbow Dash, oh Rainbow Dash!
The beauty she holds!
It's such a shame she doesn't show it off.
I always say
"If you got it, flaunt it."
She is gorgeous!
Her vibrant mane
Her athletic body.
Thought not as muscularly built as Applejack, she's got some muscles on her.

Pinkie Pie...
Oh, Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie.
That personality is what I wished I had most.
What I wouldn't give to lose my head once awhile and go crazy!
It certainly seems to work for her.

Applejack....
I... saw the thing you wrote about yourself
Darling, you are not ugly.
Please do not say such things.
I've seen you with the ribbons out of your hair.
Remember when we were at one of Pinkie's parties and they fell out?
I was astonished
Awe-struck, even
It was amazing how such a humble farmpony can turn full-Goddess in a matter of seconds.
Just by removing a couple of accessories.

Trust me, it's not that I'm not happy with myself
It's just...
I think I could be better.
I mean, it wouldn't kill me spill something on a dress
Or have a run through the orchard
Race with my friends
Or anything else really.
I wish I could be this, but I'm not.

Sigh.
Oh well.
Rarity, you've got to be more confident!
I am beautiful!
I am refined!
I am perfect!

I am fake.
I'm ugly!
Disgusting, a menace to all things true!
Ugh, my mother must even hate me.
Oh, I've become such a...
A...
Façade!
Such faux looks!

Deep breaths, Rarity.
In
Out
In
Out

Count to ten
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Si-ix
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten.

Author's Note

You guys seemed to like "The Right Adjective", so here's "I Hide".