Chapters I stared up at the stars and sighed deeply. This is all I had to do to sum up such a perfect night. It almost seems a pity that there was no one to share it with, although I don't really care for company. The scene was serene, with not a soul in sight. The shimmering sands almost seemed to glow under the full moon Luna provided to illuminate such a wondrous sight. I was just outside Saddle Arabia, walking in a direction I still wasn't sure about. It had been many years since I had been to Ponyville, and I wasn't sure I could handle the sight of my childhood once again. I had tried to forget what had happened, but it didn't solve anything. It didn't change the past. And it definitely didn't bring my family back.
After that night back in Ponyville, I have been wandering Equestria searching for something I truly care about. But everything I see gives me no meaning, nothing I do makes me feel any different. So, I decided maybe if I faced what has caused my life so much pain I might feel better, or at least have some closure. Even though a feeling of dread has fallen over me, at least it's some emotion. Not that one should be joyful over the feeling of dread, don't get me wrong, but at least it was something different.
I sighed again, reluctant to leave the peacefulness. I know I have to leave eventually, but I might as well stay a few more minutes. I have been all over Equestria and have seen many sights. But I think the lonely, calm nights of Saddle Arabia are my favorites. I didn't care much for the big cities with all the ponies rushing about and noise everywhere, no that wasn't a sight I liked to see. Which may be one of the reasons I wanted to avoid going back to Ponyville, apart from my painful memories.
I arose and started the journey, my hooves feeling like blocks of lead.
The road I took outside Saddle Arabia was sandy and dry. Celestia's sun overhead beat down on me. Heat waves warped the horizon. I covered my head with my cloak to protect myself from the sun, still making sure that my rump was covered. There was no one in sight, but it still made me feel better to know that my secret was hidden. Yes, I have a blank flank.
When I was young I used to fantasize what my cutie mark might look like. It seemed to me that a blank flank was an opportunity, something great just waiting to happen. That's not how everyone else saw it though. Everyone in my class ridiculed me for it. But it wasn't your every day bullying that took place. While most joined in their chants of "Blank flank! Blank flank!" they usually just tried to ignore me, as if I didn't exist. All except for one person. His name was Goldon. He became obsessed with tormenting me. It was as if he lived to see me suffer. He always made sure to go out of his way to make me feel worthless. And now I actually believe I am.
I had thought about it, and what difference did I make? I wasn't someone important, I didn't make anyone else's life more enjoyable, I didn't matter at all. There was nothing I could contribute to, nothing that made me unique, nothing that set me apart from the next pony. Maybe that's why my cutie mark never came, because I will never be good at anything no matter how small.
I even tried changing my name to Fang. It sounded cool and tough. I thought maybe then people would leave me alone, and it kind of worked too. Except for Golden, of course. So it didn't really make a difference.
But I didn't like my old name, I never did. I used Fang for everything, even though I never legally changed my name. But Fang is who I am, and Fang is who I'll be.
Besides, it sort of fits my appearance. Well I think it does anyway. I have dark purple hair with a white mane and tail. My eyes are rose red. Being a unicorn, I have a horn coming out of my forehead, although my magic had stopped working years ago. And, of course, I sported my brown cloak.
I had been walking most of the night and part of the next day, and from where the sun was in the sky I guessed it was about noon. My hooves were aching and my stomach growled ferociously. As I walked farther away from Saddle Arabia trees started appearing here and there. I walked over to one and sat in the shade while I rested. I reached into my small pack and brought out the grass sandwich I had wrapped earlier. I used some cloth as a napkin to set my sandwich on, and then I started to dig in. While eating, a few small crumbs fell off the bread of my sandwich and onto the napkin. I stopped chewing to stare at them.
Those small crumbs, how much did they matter? They seemed so insignificant, easily brushed aside and forgotten about. That's what anyone would do though, wouldn't they? But, as I thought about it, an idea started to develop inside my head. A single crumb eaten alone didn't matter much. Two crumbs, your stomach isn't going to be filled. But my sandwich, essentially, was made of hundreds of crumbs. How then, after eating my sandwich, was my stomach filled? All I was eating was multiple insignificant crumbs. But maybe I'm just not thinking about it the right away. Alone a single crumb provided no taste, no sustenance, it didn't really appear to make a difference. But together with other crumbs, it actually provided a flavor. Something with no flavor put together with other things of no flavor seemed to create a taste. But maybe, just maybe, a single crumb does have taste, no matter how small, and a multitude of them magnify the taste. Without the crumbs, the sandwich is nothing. Then that would make a single crumb pretty significant wouldn't it?
And maybe, just maybe, it was the same with ponies. No matter how miniscule I might be, I still matter. No matter how little I affect other ponie's lives, I still matter. However, while this is true, it occurred to me that I could never actually make a noticeable difference by myself. Just like no one pays a second thought to a single crumb, no one will pay attention to me as long as I don't have anything or anyone to make me whole. A crumb combined with other crumbs will make something good. So then, what was there for me to contribute to?
And then ,I realized, I did have someone that made me feel whole in the past. But that was a long time ago. And now I'm alone.
Forever alone.
Everything matters in the world, no matter how seemingly miniscule or insignificant.
Author's Note
My second go at a fan fiction worth writing, HELPFUL feedback would be appreciated.
As I continued along the road the trees started getting more and more common. Soon I found myself in a forest of the tall trees. No pony had passed me since I began my journey. Whenever I grew hungry I stopped to rest in the shade of the trees and ate some of the grass and apples I had bought back in Saddle Arabia.
While taking a break next to a particularly leafy tree, I heard a loud roar followed by heavy footsteps close by. I stood, and I heard another roar. I walked in the direction of the noise.
I came to the edge of a small clearing in front of a large cave. I took shelter in some bushes so I could view what was making the noise without being seen. I peered through the branches and my heart stopped. Standing in front of the cave was a dragon. It raised it's head to the sky and let out a tremendous roar. It was a creature of true beauty.
It's eyes were a bright emerald, piercing and wise. It's scales were deep crimson with a tint of blue. As the light seeped through the treetops and settled on the clearing it shined off the dragon's perfect scales, making them sparkle. I stared breathless.
The dragon turned it's head around to look back into the cave. After a few seconds I saw what she was waiting for. A baby dragon, resembling it's mother, walked out cautiously, looking around as if it might get jumped by predators at any second.
After a few moments of the mother's beckoning, the baby decided it was safe to come out. It wobbled over to the mother for comfort, and the mother returned the love my wrapping it's wings around the baby and reassuring it's safety in the outside world.
Seeing the sight brought a tear to my eye. It reminded me of my childhood. The memories came flooding back like a bad dream.
"I got it!" I yelled as I ran to retrieve the ball. The sun was almost over the horizon, creating a glorious sunset. Very soon Luna would take over and cover Equestria in darkness. But I didn't want to go inside quite yet. I was having so much fun, and I never wanted it to end. My sister and I were playing a very competitive yet friendly game of soccer in my backyard. She wanted to go inside before nightfall, but the score was tied at four to four, and neither of us wanted to leave it at that. My sister got the ball and was about to kick it into my goal for the win, however, she overpowered her kick and it sailed right over the goal and even the top of the house. I stood in awe for a moment because I had never seen a kick so tremendous, although she did have my father's strength. I offered to go retrieve it from the front of the house.
I started to make my way around the house, but then I stopped. I could hear familiar snickering coming from the front yard. I started again, and when I rounded the corner, I spotted Golden and two of his minions. They wore huge grins as they all stared at me. My ball rested under the hoof of Golden.
"Well well well, If it isn't Fang," Golden said with a face of complete smugness.
Golden looked down at the ball and gasped, "Oh, I'm sorry, is this your ball?"
"Yes," I replied, trying to sound tough. "Give it back."
"Well," Golden said, "It's not yours anymore. This is a pretty neat ball, I think I'll keep it."
"Yeah, so get lost," one of Golden's minion's said.
"I said, give it back." Anger was starting to well up inside me.
"Make me, blank flank!" Golden yelled. "That's all you'll ever be, a stupid blank flank!"
I glared at them as I tried to contain my anger.
"What's wrong? You're so stupid you can't talk now?" Golden sneered. "Why don't you go cry to your sister about it!"
Enough was enough. I launched myself at him, which caught him off guard. We both fell to the ground in a heap as we wrestled. Golden got away from my grasp and stood up. I started to rise, but before I could, one of Golden's minions kicked me in the stomach, causing me to fall back to the ground. Golden and the other pony came on me as well, each of them taking turns kicking me. I felt pain all over as they repeatedly kicked me over and over again, cursing me and using words many would consider more than just rude.
I started to cry and call for help, which eventually came. My sister came around the front to see what was taking me so long. As soon as she saw what was happening, she was filled with rage and gave each pony a good kick in the ribs. Seeing he was overpowered, Golden and the other two ponies hurriedly ran from the scene.
"Letting a girl save you again, huh, Fang?" Golden called back. "That's just what I'd expect from a crybaby like you!"
My sister lunged at them and they ran away in fear. I lay curled on the ground crying with my eyes shut. My sister knelt down by my side and asked if I was okay.
I tried to answer her between gasps but I starting sobbing again. She put her arms around me and gave me a tight squeeze.
"There there," She assured, "everything will be alright, I'm here now."
My eyes were glassy and multiple tears rolled down my face and off my chin. Seeing the mother dragon protect it's baby reminded me of my sister and how she used to protect me. But she wasn't here to protect me anymore. I have to fend for myself now. Just like the baby will when it's mother leaves.
Then I realized how strange it was for the mother to take care of it's baby with such tender love. I had never seen a real dragon, but I had read in several articles about how the parent dragons were filled with greed and never cared for their young. But this mother dragon seemed so devoted to it's baby like it was more precious than any gems or jewels she could possibly posses. And there didn't appear to be a father either. Maybe these dragons were outcasts just like me...
I pulled away from the bushes and wandered back to the road. After finding it I started walking further into the endless sea of trees. A few moments later I felt huge gusts of wind as the mother dragon flew overhead, her baby hanging onto her back. I continued, hoping I might run into the dragons again and see their magnificence.
A few hours later the sun started to set. As it got dimmer, however, I was surprised to hear a high pitched shriek echo throughout the woods. I stopped walking to listen. The whimpering was getting louder. Then the baby dragon burst through the brush, running through the forest, though it was more like wobbly hopping than running. It ran in front of me a distance away, and It was then I saw why it was hopping so fast. It was being pursued by three timber wolves, and they were gaining on the baby dragon at an alarming rate. The timber wolves were made of branches, twigs, and an evil magic, and it looked like the baby dragon was their next prey.
I started to sprint trying to catch up. When I finally found them I was frightened to see the baby dragon clawing at a large boulder blocking it's path. The timber wolves, seeing their prey was trapped, were closing in slowly, grinning maniacally.
How did this happen? Where in the world was the mother?
I didn't have time to wait around and find out, the timber wolves were out to kill. I sprang from the shadows and charged them. One timber wolf turned around just in time to see my hoof come down on the center of it's back. It yelped as most of it's branches came loose and fell apart in a pile. The other two turned to look at their fallen comrade, and I jumped on top of one to dissemble it's twigs. Just as I was about to take on the last wolf, the first one's branches and twigs flew back into place, reassembling it's wolf-like form. The second one did the same, and they grinned once again, knowing they could not be harmed.
I backed up next to the baby dragon, the timber wolves closing in on us. I thought I was done for, when I noticed something odd. The baby dragon's clawing of the boulder was making small sparks fly off. I looked closer at the rock. I recognized what looked like flint in the stone. Then I got an idea.
I raised my hoof and brought it down on some flint at just the right angle. Sparks shot off and down to the ground. I made more sparks right above a branch, and it started on fire. I grabbed one end of the branch and waved it at the timber wolves. They were pawing at us and didn't seem concerned by the fire I had created. Of course, not until one's paw got too close, and it too started on fire. The timber wolf yelped in pain as it danced around. It was soon reduced to ashes. The other two, noticing for the first time how dangerous fire was to their kind, decided to find some less dangerous prey. They ran off into the brush.
I snuffed out the fire and turned my attention to the baby dragon. It was cowering by the boulder, shaking fiercely. It must have gotten separated from it's mother somehow. I was deciding what I should do when I heard loud footsteps coming in our direction. The mother burst through the foliage, obviously frustrated. The baby dragon ran over to the mother, making strange noises I had never heard before. The mother dragon made similar noises, seemingly talking in some type of tribal language. It looked at me and walked closer. I thought about running for my life but thought against it, deciding the humongous dragon could probably outrun me.
I was surprised, however, when instead of eating me the mother lowered her head and nudged mine as if it were some sign of gratitude. Then the mother called to the baby. The baby crawled up the mother's back and the mother, with a mighty swoop of her wings, took off for the skies. I watched them disappear into the distance until they were a small dot on the horizon.
I had risked my life to help the baby survive. But I had succeeded. For once in my life, I had done good. And it almost felt nice.
But just almost.
Anyone can do good, regardless of their past.
After another day of walking my provisions ran out. My stomach growled like a rabid diamond dog. And what made matters even worse, I had run out of bits when I purchased my last items back in Saddle Arabia. I would have to steal some food once I got to the next town. Over the years I had become pretty good at stealing, but it wasn't something I was proud of. It reminded me of how sad my life really was, that I had to stoop so low as to steal from others.
Celestia's sun shined down from above, sending rays of light through the treetops. The forest was so peaceful, yet I still couldn't help feeling a bit lonely. Although that was a feeling I've been feeling everyday since I lost my family to the cursed blazing inferno. Having a friend would've helped.
I had never made a single friend. Sure I used to have my family, but that's different. I had convinced myself I didn't need a friend, but the feeling of loneliness was still there. However, I had long since gotten used to it.
I stopped walking and perked my ears. A faint clopping noise echoed through the trees. I looked behind me to find a wagon down the road being pulled by somepony. I started walking again, but this time slower. After several minutes the wagon pony caught up with me. He turned his head towards me and stared for a few seconds. He wore bandages on most of his body. His mouth was covered, but I could still see his eyes. They looked tired and elderly. After sizing me up he spoke.
"Hello there, didn't expect to see anypony traveling on this road. What's your name?"
"Fang" I replied.
"Fang?" His eyes looked bewildered. "I've heard that name before...I can't remember...ah well It'll come to me eventually." We turned our heads forward as we continued to talk.
"You see I've been forgetting a lot of things lately. I couldn't even tell you my name, much less where I'm headed. You can call me Richard though. So, what's your destination?"
"I'm going to Ponyville, but I need to stop at the next town for food." I answered.
"Ah, well if memory serves I believe there's a city close by here. But I'm not one to be trusted when it comes to remembering, let me tell ya."
"Thanks Richard." I said.
"Richard? Who's Richard?" He asked.
"You told me to call you Richard," I replied.
"That doesn't sound like something I would say. Call me Will."
"Okay, Will."
My stomach growled again. Will looked at me and smiled.
"You hungry?" He inquired.
"Uh...yeah. I ran out of food earlier today."
"Well I believe it's about time for lunch," Will said as he pulled his cart to the side of the road. "Sit right over here and I'll share some of my biscuits and jam with you."
I sat down and he gave me a large biscuit slathered with mounds of strawberry jam. I took a huge bite and my eyes became as big as dinner plates.
"This is really good!" I exclaimed with my mouth full. I started to devour my biscuit, savoring every last morsel.
"Heheh, you like em? I made them myself," He said. "And I used jam from Canterlot. Actually, jam that was supposed to go to the princess herself."
"The princess? How did you get jam that was supposed to go to her?" I asked in astonishment.
Will grinned, "Once I learned about the shipment of jam going to the castle, I found the pegasi that were delivering it and stole some while they were resting. I trust you won't tell anyone,"
"No, I steal things myself. But I've never even considered stealing from the princess!" I exclaimed.
"Who cares if they would've caught me!" Will said, "I don't belong anywhere anyways. Besides, Celestia deserves to be stolen from. Her and all of those living in the castle have the good life. They can all sit in a recliner eating this premium jam and not have a care in the world."
"No," I said, "I disagree. Celestia might have more wealth than the rest of us, but she has other things to worry about than her bills. She has to keep everything together, without her there would be no order."
"No order? We would get along just fine without her. All she does is sit on her thrown enjoying life's luxuries, while the rest of us suffer. She's never had to lift a hoof in her entire life. The same goes for all the unicorns. Us earth ponies grow them food. And what do they give us?"
I put down the hood of my cloak, exposing my horn. "I'm a unicorn Will. And I've suffered almost all my life. Unicorns get along with earth ponies just fine. My father was an earth pony, and my mother was a unicorn. They were happy how it was, my father did the work, and my mother helped him with her own magic any way she could. She didn't have to do much, but they were both happy. Never once did my father wonder how much easier her life must be, because he was the one making it easy. He was happy to help, even if he didn't get anything in return. He would never think as selfishly as you."
He looked impressed, and replied, "So, we just go along with whatever card we got dealt, huh? The unicorns sit on their comfy chairs, drinking their fancy cider, and the pegasi fly freely in the sky. And then the earth ponies have to work in the fields and make a living by the sweat of their brow. It's not right. We cannot live in a world where everypony is not equal. Sure Celestia can try to keep peace. Equestria has stayed in peace for centuries. But it can't stay like this forever. It will come to an end eventually."
His words made sense. But if I were to accept them my world would become even worse than it already was. "Will, you may be right. But if everypony thought like you, the peace would be broken much sooner. Sure everypony isn't equal, but we've all learned to live in peace despite of it. Celestia might get the better things in life, but if she knew there was somepony in need, she would help them in an instant. You might not have a life as easy as a unicorn might, but dealing with that would be much better than any type of conflict."
"Heheh...you may be right. Besides, I suppose my life could always be worse. Well It's starting to get late. We should get going if you want to reach the city," Will said.
"Yeah, I guess so. And thank you for sharing the biscuits with me." I said.
Will smiled and said, "Well I guess you were right. If you're not going to help others in this world then you're not worth the air you breath." He said.
I looked at him. "That's what my dad always told me." I said. "That was his motto, his way of life. He never went a day without reminding me what it means. But now I guess I've forgotten..."
"Well I suppose we've both been reminded of this life lesson today," He said.
I smiled, "Yeah, you're right."
After we finished eating the last of the biscuits Will packed his things back into his wagon and we started walking again.
"Will, do you have any family?" I asked him.
"No, I lost them a long time ago...except I can't remember how. No friends either, I've been traveling for so long I never got to know anyone I guess."
I almost smiled. "Well I guess we have a lot in common. I suppose that means I can call you my friend, then?"
He faced me and smiled. "Yes, I would like that. I would like that a lot."
We came to the edge of the forest and broke out of the trees. "Finally a change of scenery," Will said.
We walked down a large hill and came to a fork in the road. "I think if you go right for a couple miles you'll find a large city." Will said. "And, that also means it's time to go separate ways."
"I hope our paths will cross again one day," I said. We shook hooves, and then I started down the road.
I stood there and waved at Fang until he was far away. I smiled, and a tear rolled down my face. So, Fang, you're still alive. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you for all of these years. But it looks like you turned out okay. I hope I'll get to see you again, before my time is up, so I can tell you that I love you.
I waved back at Will one last time before turning around a leaving for good. Finally, somepony I could call friend. Somepony I could relate with. It felt so nice. I know I still have to get to Ponyville, and I still don't want to. But somehow, it hurts less to think about it now. Maybe I can finally move on.
No matter how lonely you might feel, there will always be a friend waiting around the corner.
