The Dangers of Boredom

by ClankHoof

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 9179

The Mane Six have come down with the most dangerous ailment known in Equestria: Boredom. Therefore, they must head out into the world in search for adventure. Or at least a nice cup of coffee.

One morning, Twilight awakens to find everything in Ponyville is...peaceful. All nearby evil seems to have been dealt with, and the only trouble they've resolved recently was convincing Lyra not to do dangerous experiments in her "secret" lab to try and become human. This strikes her and her friends as a terrible catastrophe, as they feel their sense of being true heroes is deteriorating. So, they decide to travel across Equestria with their friend Shadow Darkfeather (see "Shadow in Equestria"), in search of a cure for their aching need to be, well, NEEDED.

Published 2013-03-06 07:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-14 03:19:23 UTC

All's Quiet On The Eastern Front

Ponyville. Founded by Earth Ponies, and inhabited by all three subspecies of pony that were common throughout Equestria. The birds were singing, the bees buzzing (neither in common with each other, it was just one of the many observations of an illustrative mind). It was still fairly early in the morning, as most were still savoring the last few moments of sleep before their alarm clocks, or Vinyl Scratch's music, tore them from their peaceful slumber.

Twilight Sparkle, a particularly powerful purple unicorn with an addiction to reading, was one of the first to arise from slumber on this rather peaceful day. She went over to her dresser and levitated a brush to straighten her bedridden hair out of her eyes. Her roommate and friend, a baby dragon named Spike, was still asleep, so she levitated him from his bed and dropped him on the floor, attempting to wake him up.

“Come on! We have things to do, Spike!” She said to the snoring lump of scales.

“Hrmmm...no, Rarity, I don't think that dress makes you look fat, I just think you'd look better without it..." The little dragon mumbled, oblivious to Twilight's attempts at waking him.

She gave up, slightly disturbed by the fantasies and dreams a certain somepony (or somedragon, rather) has for one of her friends.

Twilight headed out the door, hoping she could pop into the Sugarcube before the line got too long. Most would think this was slightly ridiculous, as it was still early enough that the Cake family who owned the sweet shop were probably just getting out of bed. However, as luck would have it, when she arrived at the bakery she spotted a line of tents outside the building that seemed to go on for miles.

"Drat, foiled again!" She moaned as she followed the line backwards, heading for the back.

Her voice awakened some of the ponies ahead of her, and they yawned and stretched their way out of their tents.

"Mornin' Twilight," yawned a young, dark-colored stallion, dragging himself out a tent and flexing his wings, creating a large POP that reverberated in the still air, then he smirked groggily at the mare. "Forget that today was Friday?"

"Hey Shadow. Ugh, I really need to put a reminder for myself about Friday's Unbelievably Chocolatey Cupcakes. I can't believe how popular they've gotten."

Shadow squinted his eyes toward the front of the line, which was over six blocks away from where they were standing.

"Yeah, I'll bet this line is over twice as long as last week's." He shrugged, "as long as they still have those lemon square things when we get up there, I'm not complaining."

Twilight sighed. "I could really go for a cup of coffee."

~S~

A considerably long time later, the line had been reduced enough that Twilight and Shadow were now barely through the door. The place was packed with dozens of ponies, either sitting at the sparse number of tables, or trying to fight their way to the counter or the door, depending on if they had their bag of goodies. The Cakes were buried behind a pile of boxes and bags stacked on top of the counter, attempting to get the orders to the correct customers, or at least to get rid of some of the boxes.

Shadow caught a glimpse of pink passing behind the double doors that led to the kitchen, and knowing that Pinkie was the one that set up these Friday events, she was the main baker for the F.U.- well, the cupcake baking.

"Where does Pinkie come up with these names for some of her dishes anyway?" Shadow asked.

"I think she mentioned that a stranger told her some...interesting words one day.* She thinks it's a fun game to use them whenever she can, especially since we banned her from saying them out loud. At least we managed to convince her not to have Tuesday's Intensely Tasty Shortcakes."

"T...I...- oh. Good call." Shadow held back a chuckle. "But you'd think parents would've caught on to her name game and complained to the Cakes about it."

"Did somepony say ‘game’? Oooh! I wanna play!" Shadow and Twilight nearly jumped out of their skins when Pinkie Pie herself popped up beside them.

"Geez, Pinkie, warn somepony when you're going to do that!" Twilight said. Shadow had stolen a paper bag from a passing blonde-maned mare and was breathing heavily into it.

"Now see what you've done, Pinkie? Shadow's only been here for about a month, and he's still not used to your constant breaking of physics and other laws everyone else is bound to-"

"Hang on, Twilight. I think Shadow isn't eating his baked goods right!" Pinkie interrupted.
The pink mare was watching Shadow inflate and deflate the paper bag a few times, then start choking one of the muffins that were apparently still in the bag.

"NO! MY MUFFINS!" Yelled the blonde mare, tackling the choking grey colt. The impact made the muffin stuck in his mouth to be blown back out with such force, that it exploded against another pony's head, bursting into a shower of crumbs and blueberries.

Twilight could do nothing but stare in shock for a few moments, then quickly used her magic to separate the two ponies in front of her, gave the mare back her now bedraggled bag of muffins, and made sure her friend was still breathing before setting him back on his hooves.

Pinkie giggled loudly. "Did you see the look on his face when Derpy tackled him? Wow, I'm glad I always give her extra."

Twilight glared at her before asking Shadow if he was alright.

"Yeah, just give me a minute," he gasped, tottering a bit on his hooves before regaining his balance.

"Alrighty! Well, back to the kitchen I go! Can't keep these hungry ponies waiting for their Friday Unbelievably Chocolatey Cupcakes!" She winked at Twilight and was gone in the blink of an eye.

"To believe I used to think she was one of the best ponies in Ponyville," Shadow mumbled to himself as he and Twilight got back into line. They were now nearly to the counter where their orders could be taken.

"What can I get you hungry ponies this fine morning?" An exhausted Mrs. Cake. She was probably too busy to have noticed the slight mishap that occurred only a few moments ago in her shop.

"I'll take a Friday cupcake, and a tall Cup-A-Joe with extra cream," Shadow said, "Oh, and throw in a half dozen of those delicious lemon squares."

"And I'll have a slice of peach pie, a couple scones, and another coffee, though make mine a dark. I could really use it this morning." Twilight added.

"Together, or separate bags?" Asked Mrs. Cake, raising an eyebrow. It took a few seconds for Twilight and Shadow to figure out what she meant.

"Oh, uh, separately. Our orders are separate." Twilight said quickly, her cheeks brightening.

Shadow saw Twilight blushing, and decided to try and help her out.

"You know, it's not uncommon for friends to have their orders together. How about I buy? We've both had a bit of a busy morning," Shadow asked sincerely, pulling his pouch of bits from his saddlebag.

Twilight thought it was a nice gesture, but also sounded a bit like he was supporting the idea of them being a couple, which was completely untrue. At least that's what she thought.

"Well, um...that's nice, but..." Twilight began, but Shadow already had the extra bits on the counter, so Twilight could do nothing but accept the offer.

Mrs. Cake had finished putting their orders together, and put the bags on the counter next to the bits. The friends noticed there was an absence of coffee cups.

"I believe we ordered two cups of coffee?" Shadow asked around the tall bags.

"Well dear, it seems like we've run out of coffee beans again. I thought I told Pinkie to check inventory on Wednesday, but I guess she's been too busy out here baking and party planning. I'm sorry." Mrs. Cake replied, beginning to count out the bits and giving back the unneeded bits from the coffee.

Some of the ponies behind Twilight moaned, as they had wanted a coffee as well. She levitated the bags and they fought their way back out the door before giving Shadow his part of their breakfast.

"If you want, we can simply get coffee back at my house," Twilight offered Shadow, who was busy digging his snout through his bag. Then he brought his head back up with a jolt, and Twilight could see anger in his eyes.

"I knew it! They forgot the lemon squares!"

Author's Note

First off, though I'm using Shadow for this story, whatever happens in this one has little to do with the events of "Shadow in Equestria", but you can perhaps find some information about this character from reading it.

*If you did not get this reference, see fiction "Pinkie Pie Learns a New Word," of which I have no affiliation with, but is funny as hell to read. Or better yet, look for MicTheMicrophoneZero’s reading of it on YouTube. I'll add a link to these below...
Dramatic Reading: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlG85QN2Z48
Original: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/24755/1/Pinkie-Pie-learns-a-new-word/The-word

We're Going on an Adventure!

Shadow first raged, and then wept as they headed back to Twilight's treehouse. She had to practically drag him behind her, which further slowed their pace. Shadow only quieted down when she shoved a scone into his mouth, which he sucked on, still blubbering slightly. She put hot water onto the stove, and attempted to try to get his mind off his foul mood.

"You know, it's been almost exactly a month since I last saw you sitting in my kitchen, answering questions about why you were here and why Sweetie Belle was in the hospital because of the...accident."

Shadow instantly became quiet, but the route Twilight had taken left him with mixed feelings of anger and unease.

"Those were dark days, Twilight. Please, let us not speak of them." He said darkly, "It is still too fresh in my mind, no matter how the outcome had been."

The tension in the room left it a bit stuffy, and Twilight went to open a window.

"Hey, I didn't know you were coming over, Shadow," Spike yawned loudly as he came downstairs. "How's it going?"

Shadow breathed deeply, calming himself. "Fine, Spike. Though I can't say this has been one of the best days."

"Really? What happened?" Spike asked as he sat down at the dining table across from the grey pegasus. Shadow gave him a brief overview of what he and Twilight had been through, and Spike whistled in disbelief.

"Wow, it seems like you've really run into a stream of bad luck." He said as he pulled the slice of pie from Twilight's bag. He was about to bite into it, but then an idea popped into his head, so he hopped down from the table and brought a step stool over to one of the higher shelves in the kitchen.

He looked around a bit before opening the cupboard and bringing out a large jar. He moved his hand around the jar before smiling and retrieving a claw full of small gems. Then he stuffed these into the pie slice and devoured it whole.

As he put the jar back, he remembered that Shadow was in the room too. "Tell no one about my stash, and I'll tell no one about your obsession with you-know-what!" and started humming a tune Shadow was all too familiar with.

"No! How did you find out about that? I didn't think anyone else knew!" Shadow gasped in disbelief.

"Good, then we have a deal?" The dragon smirked cruelly. The pegasus nodded.

Twilight came back into the room with a book hovering in front of her, and a smile present on her face.

"I think I know what's been going on, Shadow. You're used to traveling a lot, and no big event has put Ponyville in peril for weeks. I think we need to get out and do something fun! not sit around cooped up and getting fat on sugary treats." She looked up, making sure Shadow was paying attention. "We need to go on an adventure!"

Shadow couldn't believe his ears. He'd actually been thinking about leaving Ponyville multiple times, as he grew tired of the quiet life, but never followed up on it because there was always something holding him back. Now that one of his friends was suggesting it to him, he felt like he was free to circumvent the globe.

"That's a great idea! When do you want to leave?" He said excitedly.

Twilight went over some numbers in her head. "Let's see, with Fluttershy in bed with the flu, and Rarity finishing up her newest lines of designs, I think we'll need about a week to prepare and make sure everypony is up to it. Not to mention the usual part about making sure everything will run smoothly while we're gone..."

"Which almost never works out," Spike whispered to Shadow, who understood exactly what he meant; it was always only a matter of time before the unexpected happened in Ponyville, and the town was overdue. He didn't mention this to Twilight, however, as he didn't want to spoil the plans to go traveling around Equestria again.

Twilight started making lists and charts, and after Shadow was pegged in the head with a few flying books on the history and geography of Equestria, he decided it would be beat if he could slip out to begin getting ready himself.

"Oh, leaving Shadow? Would you take these to the rest of the group, so they know what's going on?" She flung a dozen scrolls Shadow's way without taking her eyes off the book she was reading, and he had to duck as they hit the wall behind him. He failed to see the large volume that she also tossed at him, which nearly knocked him out cold.

"I need that book returned to the Mayor, with the note inside stating why I thought she has a terrible taste in books. It was one of the few I COULD put down. I mean, a pony in love with both a gay changeling and a timber-wolf? And the mare herself was such a flat character, I almost fell asleep. I'll never read another Dusk book in my life." She moaned in disgust, then picked up another thick volume labeled '20 Shades of Brown,' a rather bland looking book with the close-up of a saddle on the cover.

~S~

The week had passed fairly quickly, with few other mishaps that needed the Elements to take care of. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had attempted to get their cutie marks by trying to replacing the towns water supply with juice, so that everyone could enjoy a tastier drink at the drinking fountains. This of course backfired, as the color they used was similar to that of rust, and caused multiple ponies to think that their pipes were rusted, so many had to close their shops for the day, and others had their fur become dyed a bright pink color after showering, which in some cases ruined the identities of some of the ponies affected by this conundrum.

“Wee! We’re all pink now!” Pinkie exclaimed happily when she saw this, as it had no effect on her other than providing herself with more sugar. She had recently taken a bath herself, and had drunk all of the liquid when she was done.

The Crusaders gave themselves up and helped return the natural colors to the ponies.

~S~

Finally, the day had come for the group to set off. Five of them, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Shadow, and Applejack, were already gathered outside of Twilight’s treehouse. They were still waiting for Pinkie Pie and Rarity.

“What the heck is taking so long? They were supposed to be here ten minutes ago!” Twilight complained. She had been triple-checking her saddlebags to make sure she had everything she needed, though the others had to tell her that she had too many books.

"We're not going to travel the entire globe, Twilight. Therefore, we don't need any information on ice beasts of the Falimore Bluffs, or some mythical land of intelligent hairless bipeds with dysfunctional personalities." Shadow said distastefully.

Applejack looked at Shadow questioningly. "Have you been talking to Lyra again? You know she's not of right mind. Bon Bon has even been putting her through hours of therapy.

Shadow just shrugged before continuing to take inventory on his own bag, full of average camping gear and enough food for him to snack on for a few days, if need be.

"Actually, if you think about it, there are plenty of universes out there," said a voice from above them, "One of them is bound to have life that parallels our own, in one way or another."

This time, Shadow was more prepared for one of Pinkie's random entrances, but the sight of the pink mare climbing out of one of the windows of Twilight's house and walking down the steep side of the tree to meet up with the group left him staring at her in mild disbelief. Most times she seemed crazy, but every once in awhile she baffled even Twilight at her knowledge of the unknown. Some ponies even thought she'd make an interesting philosopher, if she lowered her sugar consumption.

Twilight shook her head. "Pinkie, the multiverse theory may be correct, but there is no real way to know since nopony's created a device capable of going from one universe to another."

A male earth pony and the same blonde pegasus from the Sugarcube just happened to pass by at this moment, and the stallion had taken a few steps toward the group, opening his mouth looking as though he disagreed with Twilight, but his companion dragged him back before he could say anything.

None of the other six ponies noticed this, as they were now watching their last member trotting over. Rarity had a rather large sunhat on her head, dark blue flowers and gems wrapped around the brim, that complimented the colors of her purple eyes and mane. Behind her, Sweetie Belle was struggling to pull a cart that contained a mountain of bags, suitcases, purses, and other carrying cases that could hold what seemed like her entire Boutique.

"Think you've got everything you need?" Twilight asked sarcastically, frowning at the sight.

"Why, I think this is the first time I didn't forget anything dear," Rarity exclaimed, oblivious to her fellow unicorn's distaste. "Somepony was even so kind enough as to remind me to bring the kitchen sink!"

Rainbow Dash groaned loudly. "It'll take us days just to get to the next town if we lug that much stuff around!"

They managed to convince Rarity to bring only two bags - of which it seemed to take forever to repack - and then began trotting away from the tree. They’d gone about three step when a cry halted them in their tracks.

“STOP!” They all stop and turned towards the cry. It was Pinkie Pie.

“Ugh, what now?” Twilight sighed.

Pinkie beamed. “You know what this adventure needs? A narrator!”

“Wait, a WHAT?”

“A narrator. you know, someone who can tell others what’s going on. Get into our minds and tell everyone their thoughts. Someone who will-”

“Pinkie, I respect your enthusiasm, but why would we want some random pony stalking us and trying to guess what we’re about to do?” Twilight asked, “And I don’t it’s possible to read minds.”

“So, you don’t want our journey to sound amazing?” Pinkie replied, her smile wavering a bit.

“You know, maybe she’s got a point...” Rainbow Dash mumbled.

Twilight looked defeated. “You know what? Fine. Do what you want Pinkie, as long as we can finally get the show on the road.”

“Silly Twilight, it’s a story, not a show.” She bounced over to a lone unicorn who was resting in the shade, again leaving the rest of the gang as confused as ever.

“Hey, you want to narrate a story?” Pinkie asked the random stallion, who had a short green and red mane.

The pony looked up. “Um, OK. What do I have to do?”

“Just follow my friends around and say everything we do in a cool voice, depending on the situation.”

“Uh, OK? But what do I do if you do something extremely boring or crazy?”

Pinkie thought briefly. “Improvise! Or just scream really loudly, like this: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!” She screamed at the tippy top of her lungs, drawing attention from some other ponies walking by.The stallion’s ears were ringing, and his hair was now partially blown behind him by the force of the scream.

“But, what would that accomplish?”

“Well, you’ll certainly get a reaction from Shadow or Twilight!” She replied, bouncing around happily.

The two ponies in question exchanged looks of annoyance.

“Ugh what is wrong with some of the ponies in this town?” Shadow asked groaned loudly.

“I don’t know.” Pinkie answered.

“Pinkie, you’re one of the ponies I’m talking about.” He said, furrowing his brow.

“Oh, those weren’t problems; those were alternate solutions!” She giggled.

“Okay then, are we finally done? Good. Let’s get going then” Twilight ordered. They finally started to leave town, absentmindedly quickening their pace, just in case another problem popped up.

~S~

“Um Pinkie? I think your maps broken.” Fluttershy asked after noticing the same bush four times.

"No, that’s just the narrator pony. I asked him to stay out of sight, so as not to distract us,” Pinkie replied. "Though, now that you mention it, it doe’s say we’re still in Ponyville,” she turned the map upside down and proceeded to beat it against a rock, trying to fix it.

“Huh. I guess the batteries must have run out,” Pinkie then crumpled the map into a ball and tossed it over her shoulder which then exploded when it hit the ground. only Shadow looked back at the exploding map, still forgetting that things like that happen.

“Why did we trust Pinkie with directions in the first place?” Twilight said as she pulled out her own map and examined it briefly before turning them in the right direction.

Author's Note

Wow, I really seemed to weaken my character at the beginning of this one. I'll be sure to make up for it later :P

Choose Your Travel Companions Wisely

So, the seven brave, awesome, charismatic friends-

Twilight glared at the narrator.

“Oops, too much? Let me try again.”

*Ahem* So, the seven friends continued on their adventure. They had made good time and gone about two miles in the last hour, when they heard rustling in the distance.They quickened their pace so they could investigate. As they approached it they noticed a bush on the side of the path shaking violently.

“What the?...” Rainbow Dash ask as she flew ahead to investigate. She pushed the bush aside to see what was behind it.

It was a yellow colt with long, black hair and a Blue stripe going down the one of the sides.He was lying on the ground struggling to get untied. He had somehow managed to get himself entangled in vines and branches. The pony continued to struggle, not noticing Rainbow Dash watching from a distance. Rainbow smirked at the sight.

“Hey guys! I think I found what was making the noise.” still fighting the laughter back.

She moved the bush further back so the others could see the fumbling stallion. Pinkie joined in with Rainbow’s laughter because she thought it was rather funny.. The rest of the group stood there, confused as to how the pony had gotten into this predicament. Finally, Fluttershy broke the silence.

“Um, do you need any help?” she asked.

“Oh no thanks. I have this under control.” He replied as he struggled some more, which only caused the vines to tighten.

“Oh really? because it looks like you're a little in over your head.” Applejack said, chuckling a little as she walked up to him.

“He looks head over heels, if you ask me!” Pinkie added.

“Nope, I’m just... um.” He paused and looked up at Applejack, who was now standing over him.

“You're just what?” She confronted his excuse.

“Well you see I was...” He stopped and sighed. “Yeah, alright. I’m stuck.”

Applejack smiled. “Well, I just happen to be the best rope wrangler in all of Equestria.” She was now leaning on his head like an armrest. He paused with an awkward smile on his face.

“That’s great. So can you please help me now?”

“Well, now. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear; I’d be obliged to.” She walked around him, reached out, and pulled a single vine, releasing him and causing him to slam onto the ground.

“Ow.” he moaned he slowly got back up and shook off all of the remaining leaves and twigs that had fallen on him from the bushes he’d been lying in.

“thanks for the help.”

“I’m happy to help. I’m Applejack, by the way” Applejack said as she tilted her hat.

“oh yeah, I’m Wicked Betrayal.” He said casually.

Applejack stopped, turning back to look at the colt. “Beg yer Pardon?”

“Wicked Betrayal.”

She stared at Wicked for a minute, then shook her head before continuing her way back to the group.

“Hello I’m Twilight Sparkle and these are my friends Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. And the grey stallion is Shadow.” She motioned to each of the ponies in turn. Shadow was busy investigating the newcomer.

“So, what were you doing back there, anyways?” Shadow asked, pointing to the broken vines that were under his hooves.

“Well you see...”he then started to act out the story as he told it leading to various motions like sneaking around, running and jumping.

“Do you think we can trust this guy?” Rainbow asked Rarity.

“He does seem a bit strange.” They looked back at him who was now fighting an army of invisible ninjas with Pinkie Pie. the group continued to watch as the two endlessly fought back to back.

“And that's how I ended up tangled you those snakes,” The yellow colt concluded

“Um those where vines.”Shadow pointed out looking at the remaining vines stuck to his feet.

“And that where you're wrong those where the elusive vine snakes.He said as he shook the vines off and throw them into the forest.

“The vine snake really?” Shadow Ask Sarcastically

“Yes and they are very dangerous.”

“Well why didn't one of those um vine snakes try to bite me?” Applejack asked her question doubtfully.

“Because they were asleep?” Wicked said, unsure.

“Um, they were asleep.” It was quiet for a moment. The others looked doubtful, so he decided to change the subject.

“so anyway, where are you guys heading?” He asked trying to change the subject.

“Anywhere I guess.” Twilight said she looked at the map again.

“So you mean you don’t know.” He asked.

“That’s the idea.” she said as she rolled map back up and tucking it away.

“So, you think I could tag along?” He asked looking at all of them.

“Why would you want to? “ Shadow asked.

“well I don’t really have anything better to do, and the road could be dangerous. I could help protect you.” Wicked said, trying to convince them to accept him.

“I don’t see why not,” Twilight said, looking at the group for any disagreement.

“I Object!” the narrator said from the bush he was hiding in.

“Pinkie, please ask the narrator to shut it for a while.” Twilight said.

“Alright! I've already packed! Let’s go!” They all started to walk down the path. Wicked fell in step with Shadow.

“So, how’d you end up with this crowd, anyways?” he asked the grey stallion.

Shadow shrugged. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, six mares and one stallion, walking alone in the middle of the forest? Sounds pretty cool to me. So, how about the one in the hat? um Applejack, right?” Wicked asked, glancing over at the pony in question, who was trotting a few feet ahead of them.

“Wait, are you wanting hitting on Applejack?” Shadow replied, looking a bit sheepish. “She just helped you out of those, er, “vine snakes”. Not to mention you just met.”

“Maybe, if not her maybe the pink one?” he replied

Shadow put his hoof in front of the younger pony, then glared angrily. “You stay away from her.” He said in a low voice, almost snarling.

“Whoa, calm down man. It was just a question. Geez!”

Shadow started walking again, fast enough to catching up to the girls. Wicked paused briefly before following suit.

Behind them, a single bush picks itself up on four hooves before tiptoeing along. After a few steps, however, it fell over with a loud OOMPH.

“I've gotta find a better disguise.” Sighed the narrator.

Author's Note

If there were any grammar or spelling mistakes, I blame my part-time co-writer, Poisonous Lobster (AKA Wicked Betrayal).

Wait, I think I'm beginning to see the affects of his character already! NOOOOO!

The Forbidden Fruit

As darkness approached, the group reached the top of a large hill. The lights of a small city beamed brightly below them. Miniapple-Less.

“Is the name a bit of a joke, like the 'Big Orange'? Wicked asked Pinkie.

“Silly, Wicked. It’s because the city banned apples a hundred and fifty years or so ago, when it was first established!” She grinned. Wicked was surprised by her response as if not expecting such a historic -let alone intelligent- answer from her.

Applejack simply stared at the skyline of the city.

“We can go around, if you’re not ok with this, Applejack.” Twilight said, trying to help her friend's unease.

The freckled pony looked over at her friend. “No, It’s late enough as it is. I’ll simply have to disguise myself. We should be fine, as long as we leave early tomorrow.” She sighed, taking off her hat and folding it carefully into her saddle bag. Rarity handed her a long black cloak, so as to cover up her cutie mark. Then they headed down to the inviting lights below.

After a while of looking around, they managed to find a quaint hotel with a small VACANCY sign outside called the Hayton.

“Welcome. how may I help you?” A tan mare with an orange mane asked slightly under-enthusiastically from across the counter.

“Hello! we would like to rent a room for 8, please.” Twilight answered.

The receptionist glanced at a paper on her desk before responding. “Our rooms only accommodate 4; You’ll have to rent two.”

“Uh, well, I guess that’ll work.” Twilight handed over the bits, then turned to the rest of the group. “Ok, we’re going to have to split up.”

“OK, me Shadow will partner up” Wicked said. Shadow looked at him with disinterest, but then thought it would make it easier to keep an eye on the colt, so he didn't do anything drastic.

“Pinkie and I will go with them.” Applejack added.

“Score!” Wicked said in a hush tone so that only Shadow could hear, who then just rolled his eyes.

Pinkie started bouncing around her three bunk-mates, saying "It's like a sleepover! We can play games, and sing songs, and tell scary stories, and-" Applejack grabbed the mare out of the air, putting her hoof over her mouth to make her be quiet. This hardly worked, however, as she kept mumbling through the hoof.

The receptionist, used to all sorts of odd residents, handed them the keys without comment and pointed down the hallway to her left. They thanked the mare, headed down the hall, and unlocked the matching oakwood doors.

The bedrooms weren't very well furnished. There were simple brown curtains over a single small window, dull white paint on the walls, a small bathroom with barely a shower, and a grubby mirror over a wooden dresser.

Shadow was the first to notice that the rooms also contained only two shoddy beds and a lumpy couch.

“I call the couch!” he said, trotting over to it.

“Don’t worry Wicked, you can sleep with me.” Pinkie told him as she started to jump on one of the beds.

“Um, OK.” Wicked said cautiously as he watched Shadow climb into the couch. Wicked made his way over to the bed and climb in next to Pinkie, who was still bouncing around, causing the already-rickety mattress to shake and rock.

“Wanna see how high I can bounce?” she asked, then proceeded to bounce higher.

In the other room, Rarity was putting up quite the fuss over how terrible the accommodations were. She took an entire one of the beds, and from one of her saddlebags managed to procure a pink blanket and matching pillows.

"I simply must speak to management in the morning about how they can...'improve' their decorating." She said as she also took out a small round tub of cream and went into the bathroom.

It was about this time that Pinkie started hitting the ceiling of her room, making a rather loud banging sound. Bits of white dust and ceiling paint fell onto the floor in both rooms.

“What the-?”Twilight said, looking at the wall with the others. Rarity had just starting to put cream on her face when the thudding surprised her enough that she lost her grip on the container, covering herself in the hypo-allergenic substance.

“Please tell Pinkie to keep it down.” Rarity moaned, looking at Rainbow Dash, who was too busy laughing at the sight. Rarity shot her friend a look, but it just made the situation even funnier.

Finally, Rainbow Dash was able to get a hold of herself. “Ok, ok. I’m on it.” She flew over to the wall.

“Hey! keep it down in there!” Rainbow Dash yelled as she hit the wall. Twilight just sat there rubbing her forehead.

Pinkie immediately stopped bouncing and fell into the bed next to Wicked. Applejack chuckled and went to the other available bed.

“Good night, everyone.” said Applejack.

“Night.” Shadow said, his back turned to everyone.

“Good night Applejack!” Pinkie said.

“Yeah, good night.” Wicked said sounding a bit uneasy. This was probably because Shadow would every so often glance over his shoulder at the group, making sure nopony was doing anything out of the ordinary.

“Psssst! Wicked .” Pinkie whispered rather loudly, rolling over toward him “Guess what?”

“Uh what?”

"I’m not wearing any clothes.” Pinkie Pie started to giggle.

“You haven’t been wearing clothes all day.” Wicked replied, looking at her confusedly.

“I know!” she then started to laugh. Wicked shifted his gaze off of Pinkie and over to the couch where Shadow was resting, only to find Shadow glaring at him intensely. Wicked took note of this and turned away from Pinkie, trying to pretend he was asleep.

~S~

In the morning they all gathered outside the rooms and started to plan the new day.

“So, how you sleep Wicked?” Rainbow asked

“Actually, not so well. I kept having the feeling of being watched, and something kept stabbing me in the back of the neck.” He winced a little as he rubbed his neck..

“Oops, sorry. That was my pillow full of emergency party supplies!"

“Is that normal?” he asked as he watched Pinkie pull out the pillow of party favors and making sure everything was still inside.

"With Pinkie Pie around, your sense if normal kinda goes out the window, so yeah." This was all Rainbow could answer back.

Pinkie chose this moment to pop up outside the window of the main lobby, while the door hadn't even opened.

“Never mind, lets just go.” Wicked replied. They returned the room keys to the receptionist and left the hotel.

"Alright, we have a little over an hour to pick up anything we might need before continuing on to..." Twilight checked her map for the fourth time, "Seaddle. And be careful how much you all spend. If we want this trip to last, we have to make sure we can afford to do fun things while still having enough to eat." She spotted Rarity staring intently at the display window of a nearby jewelry store. "I don't think you want to have to camp outside on rainy day if we can't pay for a room, do you Rarity?"

That got her attention, and she reluctantly pulled herself away from the glimmering accessories.

"Oh, don't worry about me, Deary. I'll behave myself." the purple-maned mare said sweetly.

"Alright, we'll meet on the West road at the edge of the forest at 10:30, OK?" Everyone nodded, then once again split into smaller groups. Applejack and Pinkie Pie accompanied Wicked to get him a few things they thought he would need while traveling with them. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity went to get breakfast, leaving Rainbow Dash and Shadow. They looked at each other for a minute, unsure of what they should do to help the rest of the group.

"Uh, want to race to the top of the highest building and back?" Shadow suggested.

"Sure. Last one back gets to carry Rarity's suitcase to the next town." Rainbow grinned, readying for the challenge.

"You're on."

With a burst of feathers and wind, the two Pegasi flew into the sky.

Down on the ground, a garbage can moaned.

"How the heck am I supposed to narrate this, when everypony is in different places at once?" The pony inside asked himself, lifting the lid up with his head.

~S~

Meanwhile, as Pinkie, Applejack, and Wicked were going around looking for what they would need, Wicked had spotted a nice little restaurant further down the street.

“Man I’m starving. how about you two?” Wicked asked.

“Yeah! I haven’t eaten since forever! What do ya say Applejack?” Pinkie asked, a bit too loudly because a few passerby stopped in their tracks, staring at the trio. Applejack reach out and covered Pinkie’s mouth with her hoof.

“Pinkie, you know that certain fruits aren’t allowed here, and i’m guessing my name including said fruit isn’t going to fly so well with the citizens, so maybe you shouldn’t mention it.” she whispered frantically, looking around cautiously.

“Mmm Kmm!” Pinkie said through her still shut mouth, and Applejack released her.

So...‘Jack’. You think we could stop for a bite over there?” Wicked said, trying to improve their predicament. However, it seems someone had tipped them off, as they saw two uniformed ponies crossing the street toward them.

"Excuse me ma'am, have you or your companions seen a rather unstably-minded grey mare anywhere around here?" They asked Applejack.

The southern mare released the mouthful of air he subconsciously had been holding before answering. "Er, no Sir. I haven't seen anyone matching that description, Sir."

The guard looked at her more closely, and she realized that her accent might've given her away.

"I just can't put my hoof on it, but you seem familiar..." Applejack drew the cloak tighter. When she did, however, she accidentally pulled it partially off her flank, revealing one of the apples underneath.

The second guard noticed the same time as Wicked and Pinkie, who gasped.

The guard motioned to his partner, and their eyes narrowed. "You should know the law here. You're under arrest, for harboring the forbidden fruit." They grabbed Applejack using their unicorn magic.

"Um, I'm completely unaffiliated with Applejack. Never seen her before in my life...shoot." Wicked groaned as he was also levitated into the air, unable to move.

"Ooh! Ooh! I wanna come! Take me too!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, jumping into the floating bubble. The guards shrugged before beginning their march.

~S~

Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy, unaware of their companions' plight, were busy enjoying croissants in a cafe across town.

"I can't believe there's a coffee bean shortage going on across Equestria! I haven't had my morning cappuccino supremo in three stinking days!" Rarity whined, pushing her glass of soy milk around her side of the table with one hoof.

Twilight was equally unamused as to the shortage, as she usually needed a bit of caffeine to get going at a good pace most mornings. She was drinking a cold strawberry frappuccino while peering over her map. Fluttershy was quietly sipping a green tea, glad she never got used to the bitterness of coffee, and that tea was healthier anyways.

Finally, Twilight took her eyes off the parchment. "What sounds more interesting, the Caribbean, or the Bahamas?"

Rarity instantly stopped sounding like a drama queen and stared at Twilight with shock and amazement. "You're thinking about taking us to the Bahamas?"

"What? No, I'm planning my retirement cruise," She pointed at the map, "I was thinking about us heading to the Caves of the Forgotten. I heard they've had a rather serious haunting problem recently."

The white mare slumped back, crestfallen. Fluttershy shivered. “T-t-that sounds s-scary. W-w-where's that?"

"Just outside of Seaddle, actually. We'll be there in a few days." She noticed a large cardboard box slide into the cafe, bumping nearly every table and chair before stopping next to theirs.

Twilight sighed. "you've gotta be kidding me. I thought Pinkie was going to train him. He can't burst into the middle of the story like this." She face-hoofed.

Alright, I'll take of it," Rarity said, gracefully getting up from her chair and beginning to open the box.

“Ok, narrator, we need to...what the-!” Rarity jumped back as a grey mare popped out, breathing heavily.

“Derpy, what the hay are you doing here?” Twilight asked, bewildered.

Derpy looked around, confused. “Erm, I don't know. I found a muffin in this box, but when I went to go get it, the box fell on me. I didn’t know how to get out!” she hugged Rarity. "Thank you for letting me out! I ate the muffin too fast, and now I need to go to the bathroom!"

She stumbled out of the box before heading for the door. However, she didn't have the best eyesight, so she missed the door completely and instead fell out the open window.

“So, if Derpy was in there, where’s the narrator?” asked Rarity.

The ponies look over to see a brown hoof waving at them from a small plant in the corner.

“Uh, no hard feelings about what I said earlier?" Twilight said sheepishly to the bush. The stallion put his hoof straight up.

Twilight scratched her head. "Is that a 'hoof up' or are you giving me 'the hoof'? It's kind of hard to tell without seeing any other body language."

The narrator forgives the purple pony for her past misconception of his skills at his job. He also would enjoy a bite to eat as well, as he hasn't eaten since they left Ponyville.

"Oh, right. Waiter! A croissant for the plant, please!"

A young colt took that moment to rush into the cafe, yelling, "there's going to be a live hanging in the center of town later today! A group of ponies broke the forbidden fruit law!" And ran back out.

The trio looked at each other, all reaching the same conclusion. Applejack's been discovered!

Author's Note

Different meanings of the "forbidden fruit" went through my mind as I wrote this, and I apologize if the same happens to your during this and the next chapter. We all have our faults, but I try not to fall off the fence when I can help it.

On a side note, We're about a quarter of the way through the next chapter, then Lobster can quit bothering me about it.

Abide or A Bite?

After a bit of asking around, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity found themselves in front of a very ominous looking courthouse near the center of town.

"Well, if somepony committed a crime, this would be one of the best places to find them," Twilight mumbled. They walked in, and were led to the main courtroom. It was already mostly filled of commoners wanting to see the trial at hand. The jury had notepads out and were writing some things down while watching the three ponies behind the defendant's stand fidget nervously. The judge sat on her high-rising chair and pedestal looked rather bored, resting one hoof under her chin. A guard stood up and told everyone to sit down, as the trial was about to begin.

"May the defendants rise?" The judge said lazily, brandishing her gavel.

Wicked, Pinkie, and Applejack stood up and gave the truth oath.

The judge straightened up. "Now, this is the first time in a while we've had a trial on this offense, so lets go over the law." She motioned to the scribe below her.

The scribe cleared his throat before stating "The law of the forbidden fruit, which has been in our city for well over a century, states that any who possess, trade, consume, speak of, or bear anything resembling the forbidden fruit is to be arrested and charged with ten months hard labor, two years in prison, a fine of three-hundred bits, or a combination of the three, as decided by the jury." He sat back down.

Both trios of ponies gasped.

"Three hundred bits? Where could we possibly get that much money?" Rarity whispered to her companions before being shushed by a nearby spectator.

The judge looked over the three defendants. "Very well. What have these three done specifically, in defiance of this law?"

A lawyer pony from the plaintiff’s stand spoke up. "It is believed that the tan defendant, known as..." he stopped himself, remembering about the ban of naming the fruit. "a
Are we allowed to say the name of the forbidden fruit in court, to explain the evidence?" He asked.

"It is alright to speak of the name of the fruit under the conditions of a courtroom." The judge pony replied.

"Ok, then the tan defendant, who gave her name as Applejack-" he waited for the gasps to subside. "-has not only a name bearing the fruit, but also has three of them on each side of her flank, as is her cutie mark." Her cloak had been removed before the case began, so everyone in the room could clearly see Applejack's red apples.

The lawyer turned to Wicked. "This defendant, known as Wicked Betrayal, was heard by two patrolling guards saying the first defendant's name in public, although refusing at the time to know her."

"And what of the pink mare?" The judge asked, taking a bit more interest.

The lawyer shrugged. "Apparently, she's a friend of Wicked and...Applejack, so she said as many words that contained the word 'apple' that she could think of on her way here." He pulled out a few pieces of paper. "It appears she knew almost every word in the dictionary. Would you like to hear the list?"

The judge shook her head. "I don't think that will be necessary." She looked at the three defendants. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Wicked spoke up. "Not guilty! I did nothing wrong!" He broke down sobbing. "I'm too young to go to jail!"

"Quit yer whinin', "Applejack pushed him back. "We are guilty as charged, Ma'am. I work with my family on an apple farm in Ponyville, which explains my name and cutie mark. We are deeply sorry for breaking your law." She thought for a moment before adding, "Forgive me for asking, but what brought about this law in the first place? It seems a little extreme to me, banning the entirety of a certain type of fruit."

Both the jury and the spectators began conversing to one another about this,only to be silenced by the loud thump of the judges gavel against the pedestal,

“Simmer down now, everypony!” She hollered as she hammered the gavel. Then she looked down at the defendant ponies.

"You have not heard the history of the law?" She bent over her podium and whispered something to the bailiff, who nodded before turning to the group.

"As a pony who upholds the laws here in Miniapple-Less, the honor has been given to me to tell the story of The Forbidden Fruit." The uniformed stallion pulled out a small book and flipped through until he found the right page.

"The mare couldn't believe her eyes. Her lover was actually a changeling! Nonetheless, she still held deep feelings for her, and-"

"Ah-hem!"

The bailiff looked up, startled. "What, was my grammar off? I've been working on it for a while, and this chapter was a little tricky-"

The judge face-hoofed. "No, no, no. The OTHER 'Forbidden Fruit' story. You know, the one about the origin of the name of the city? The reason behind why we have a rule against apples, and why we're all here?"

Distraught, the pony asked "So, they aren't asking for a read-through of my fan fiction?" After letting this fully sink in, then began blushing profusely, putting the booklet back into his pocket and pulling a much larger volume from behind one of the tables. When he found the page he wanted, he opened his mouth to begin, then decided to first show it to the judge in order to make sure he had the right one this time. She rolled her eyes and reassured him that if he was reading it from the 'Laws of the Land', then he was in the right book.

The bailiff cleared his throat, then began to read from the large book.

"During the first few weeks of the early establishment of a small unnamed town, the governor took a break from his work and took a trot through the surrounding forest. He came across a tree with apples, though they were smaller than those he'd heard of. He had never eaten apples before, and thought now would be a good time to try one, as he was getting a little hungry from his walk. So he picked one and bit into it. The taste was not even remotely what he expected, as it was very sour. So sour, in fact, that he later recorded that his mouth had dried out so much he could only drink the wettest of liquids for the next three weeks. In order to prevent others from having the same fate, he banned apples from the town, and named the town Miniapple-Less as a reminder to everypony that it was a small apple in particular that caused him so much discomfort."

He closed the book with a loud thump. "And that is why we have the law of the Forbidden Fruit. Though, for the record, I do believe my story would've been less depressing."

Applejack was nearly falling out of her seat in a fit of laughter.

"Now miss, I do not want to have you thrown in jail for disruption of court. Now quit laughing this instant." The judge said sternly, rapping her gavel against the podium again.

With a little difficulty, Applejack was able to control her laughter before speaking. "Yer Honor, I believe I've discovered a major misunderstandin' with yer Gov'ner's experience. Ya see, it's come to my reasoning that he stumbled upon a CRAB-apple tree. Crabapples are a smaller variety of apple that is known for its sour taste, and he may've grabbed one that was still ripening, so got blasted a bit more than the usual ripe crabapple. Most varieties are actually quite sweet and juicy."

She opened her pack, which for some reason the court allowed the ponies to keep, and brought out a pair of red apples, much to the distaste of the rest of the courtroom (minus the other seven ponies who actually have had apples before).

These are some Red Delicious apples, grown straight on my family's farm. If any of you simply tried them, you'll know that these are actually quite delicious, and will absolutely not leave her mouths drier than sand in a desert." She took a bite of one, exaggerating her chewing so others could see the apple chunks and juices sloshing around her not-dry mouth.

The bailiff stepped forward to detain her, but was stopped by the judge grabbing the sleeve of his uniform.

"Bring one here," she said to Applejack, "If somepony is to see if this is just a trick of a criminal or a genuine breakthrough in our law, there Is no one else in this courtroom that is more trusted than the judge herself."

She waited for any disagreement from the crowd, who were now too anxious to care who was going to do it, as long as it was done.

She bit into the apple.

She chewed slowly, and her eyes began to light up. She took more bites, and before everypony knew it, the apple was gone.

The judge smiled. "That, was one of the most delicious things I've ever tasted. Except, the last few bites were a bit hard and chewy."

Applejack smirked. "That would be the core of the apple. Most people don't eat that part, because there isn't much flavor there and the seeds are too hard to chew."

"Ah, that makes sense." the judge directed her attention to the rest of the courtroom. "If I may, I think that it is about time we update our law books. Perhaps better discuss, and even examine every part of a law BEFORE it goes into effect, so as to avoid something like this happening in the future."

She turned back to the defendants. "Well, by court error, I believe you three are clear to walk. However, Applejack, I think some of our town produce merchants may want to how've a talk with you about some business?"

"It would be my pleasure, yer Honor."

"Wonderful. Case dismissed." She slammed the gavel down again. "Alright, I'm in a good mood, bring in the next case straightaway."

~S~

As the six companions walked through the rows of seats out of he courtroom, Twilight couldn't help but think out loud.

"Wait, didn't the filly at the cafe said something about a possible hanging? That wasn't one of the penalties for breaking the apple law..."

They all stop in their tracks when they heard the plaintiff lawyer pony proclaim "This next case deals with a couple of Pegasi who have broken the Law of the Clock Tower..."

As he spoke, a rainbow-maned mare and dark colored stallion were led into the defendant's stand.

Author's Note

Geez, I need to lay off the John Grisham books for a while (for those of you who don't know, he writes...I think they're called courtroom dramas?) Hopefully that is the last we will see of anything involving lawyers in this story. I hate lawyers. Nonetheless, I kept it as entertaining as I could. Enjoy!