When Friends Go To Equestria

by Key

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 621

My friends and I go to Equestria... Sadly..

Ordinary days, this is not one of them. I wouldn't mind going to Equestria, no, not at all. Just… With my friends?… Please no..

Rated teen for language and adult humor, which is unfitting.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-01 21:06:07 UTC

Prologue

I sit at my computer, browsing fanfiction.

Knock

Knock

Knock

Who could that be? I get up and walk outside of my room, walking by my living room and to the door. Unlocking the door, I open it up and..

"WHATTHEFFU-?!" I exclaim before a brick flies into my face.

Darwin wakes up, groggily opening his eyes before getting out of bed. He walks to the kitchen and begins his morning routine. Taking the dirty dishes he begins washing them with a cloth. After finishing, he opens up the dish washer and puts a plate inside. He grabs another bowl and places it into the dishwasher-and notices a giant gaping hole with a giant hand. A hand grabs him on the head and sucks him in. Suddenly the dishwasher slams shut and turns on.

I groggily open up my eyes, blinded by the sun. The sun. My head shoots up, and I see a few other people around me. One of them I recognize.

"Zack?" I say.

"Why the fuck were you asleep beside me?" Zack asks.

"I'd like to know the same thing now..." I reply. "Who dafuq is that?" I ask no one in particular.

"I don't know, but I'm in a field with two gay men." Zack says.

"Aww, now don't talk about yourself like that." I say, lightly punching him in the shoulder. The African-American man begins to walk up,  muttering incoherent words from his sleepiness. "Soo, Zack, how did you get here exactly?"

"Well, the last think I remember was taking an acid pill and everything else is blank.." Zack replies.

"Dude.. you're like fourteen.." I say slowly. "Why the hell were you doing acid?" I ask again.

"Uhm... Because I wanted too..?" Zack says, the sentence almost coming out like a question.

"Why do you guys sound so familiar?" The African American teen asks.

Zack flips his hair looking at the teen. "Why you so ugly?" Zack asks in an asshole like manner.

"Dude, that's racist." I say.

"Your mom's racist!" Zack throws back.

"Anyway... What's your name Mr. random stranger?" I ask.

"Darwin Sampson.." He says groggily.

".....TNG?" I ask, slightly surprised. "As in the dude friends with Key and illWillPress?" I ask.

"Via xbox live, bitchez!" Zack yells.

"Well, ain't this a chicken nugget in a haystack?" Darwin asks in a really bad southern accent.

"Yup, that's you.. With the retarded comments.." I say, performing a facepalm. "It's gonna be a long day, so let's go find out where we are..

"Everything's so bright and colorful!" Zack says in an extremely high voice. "Makes me wanna puke." He says, returning to his normal deep voice."

"Ughh" I say with a sigh. Why me?? After our little exchange of words we begin walking in the field, with no particular direction in mind. "You know... This air is too fresh for how much friggin' shit we've put into it." I say to no one in particular. We continue walking, everyone ignoring my comment. As we walk, I notice something I'm not quite sure how I missed before. A massive forest sat in the middle of the field. "Uhh..." I say, suddenly noticing how the forest surrounds us.

"Did anyone else notice how the forest is eating us?" Darwin asks.

"Nooo Darwin, I totally didn't notice how now there's a massive, no, enormous fucking forest surrounding us. I didn't notice at all! Thanks for pointing that out." I  reply.

"Your welcome." Darwin replies back.

"Ya know, I'm starting to wonder if it's Zack that's on acid." I say.

"Or maybe I'm just tripping balls and this all isn't real." Zack says.

"Whatever.. Let's just move through this... ominous....giant....forest..." I say slowly.

End Of Prologue