Of Princesses and Bronies

by Tsunderita

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy
Length: 684

My interpreitation of rabid bronies's reaction to Princess Twilight Sparkle

As pointed out in the short description, I saw the fandom explode over images of Princess Twilight Sparkle. Specifically on the tumblr blog fuck–no–my–little–pony. I love that blog. But I digress. Mulp there was posting brony outrage screencaps. It was extremely hilarious. So I decided to write a story for it. It's common practice on tumblr to do something like this. It's been done on many blogs. Because tumblr is a great place for random stories like this. I thought I'd be funny.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-01 04:29:07 UTC

Satire

**Entirely satire. I am not targeting any individual. Just basing everything off stereotypes. Not for people who can't take a joke It's a joke, people. Friends of mine that are bronies thought it was funny. Totally not extending this to reach the 1000 word cap. How else can I say to not take this seriously? Umm... if you take it seriously, you belong on the moon. Overused joke. I shouldn't have made that joke. But I'm too lazy to delete it. So it's going to stay there. All this past the bolded is skippable. Because it's just filler. Silly, stupid filler. And I had to up the rating because of that tumblr blog name. I doubt there's many young children on here anyway. Just being safe. **

The actual thing begins now.

It was an average January day in a small suburban city. Population 3,419. It was a relatively quiet place, with mostly people keeping to themselves in their one or two level homes. When all of a sudden, a loud and horrifying howl echoed throughout one particular quiet neighborhood. Like one of a dying monster of the amphibious kind. It was a noise heard a few times before, but never this loud. There was, in fact, no monster at all. Something like one of those would be ridiculous in a realistic setting.

In the two-level house the cry came from was inhabited by a small family of three. In the basement sat the 30-year-old, overweight manchild that made the howl to begin with. This man was known to the internet as a 'Brony', a “bro pony” signaling he was a man that was a fan of the childrens cartoon My Little Pony. He wore this status proudly, his cheeto and sweat-stained shirt with the label across it in bold, capital, black letters.

He sat in shock at his computer chair, unable to believe what his favorite pony website was reporting on. “Twilight Sparkle: Alicorn Princess” was the headline, and below it, a picture from the Hub showing the purple unicorn with large wings. This brony couldn't believe his eyes. This was horrible! The worst thing ever! Quickly, he rushed to his login page to leave an angry comment about his the show that was obviously made for him and his brony friends was being ruined by this blasphemy! He logged into the website, his account page appearing now on his screen.

Now this particular brony, like so many others, all had their pony Ocs. Special little ponies of their own that were sent through thousands upon thousands of sexual fantasies. The Original Character that belonged to this man was no exception. xXBlooddance_NightfallXx was the name of the jet-black and red winged pegasus stallion. The OC had a million special talents, was more powerful than Celestia and Luna combined, but dark and emo who self-harmed whenever he was ignored in a chat.

This story is not about the Gary-Stu OC. It's about the upset manchild behind it. He started an angry thread on the forum with the title “MLP IS RUINNNEDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!1!” followed by a long, long rant on how Princess Twilight Sparkle was ruining the show. The show that's not for little girls. How could anyone even think that? That was ridiculous! After his post was published he couldn't stand to be on the computer anymore. He closed out his browser, his desktop background of Rarity in a very inappropriate position now visible to the world. The brony flailed and cried to his bed, where he cuddled and caressed a plush Fluttershy he dubbed his “waifu”.

He finally stopped crying after almost an hour before returning to his computer. There were replies to his angry post. All the OCs of people who agreed with him. All winged  pegasai. And every one of them despised the idea of this change to Twilight Sparkle. As the news spread, more and more howls of despair echoed from the basements of the upset brony fanbase as each of these grown men cried over a small change to a cartoon pony in a show meant for little girls.