I Wub You!

"Caught under the influence near the public library, found trespassing on private property, arrested for DIGGING THROUGH LOCAL LIBRARIANS TRASH CAN!? Dammit Vinyl what has gotten into you!?"

"I'm sorry tavi." Vinyl Scratch whimpered, shrinking under her roommates piercing glare.

Octavias known for along time that Vinyl Scratch had never been much of a romantic, but when she caught on to Vinyl's stalkish antics she knew she had a big problem. Vinyl's drinking habits, social issues, and constant trouble with the law had really taken a toll on Octavia's nerves and she wasn't entirely sure how much more she could take before she would be forced to kick her dear friend out onto the streets.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Octavia rubbed her head in thought. "What in Celestia's name an I going to do with you Vinyl. I've told you a hundred times that ponies don't like it when you follow them around! Don't you know how creepy that is?"

The dj didn't respond immediately. Instead she just sat her head down on the cool, brown table and cried. "But I love her Tavi!" she whimpered, covering her head with hooves in distress. "Why doesn't she love me back?"

Looking at her friend with pity, Octavia laid a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. "Maybe you're just not going about it the right way. What exactly about you is it that Twilight doesn't like?"

With a sniff, Vinyl Scratch reached into her mane and pulled out her own copy of a brand new restraining order, courtesy of the Element of Magic, and gave it to her friend with a hesitant hoof.

"All right lets see here." Octavia muttered, looking through all of legal writing until she finally came upon her target. The list of grievances. "Drinks to much, Burps in public, smells like rotten apples and cider, plays music to loudly, loiters in the library and stares at me, sits outside the library at night, caught her taking a picture of me." The list went on and on with complaint after complaint from Ponyville's purple hero. Apparently she didn't like a single thing about Vinyl.

Much to Vinyl's surprise Octavia began to chuckle. "Whats so funny!?"

"Vinyl Scratch you act just like a stallion! A creepy stallion, but a stallion none the less." Octavia teased, still examining the long list. "But all of these problems are fixable Vinyl! You just need somepony to teach you the ins and outs of proper etiquette."

"You mean I still have a chance!?" Vinyl Scratch asked, with a huge grin spreading across her tear stained face. "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it!"

"All right fine! Just calm down." Octavia said with a relieved smile, before wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Just go and take a bath first! You smell like old hay fries and rotten celery."

"Can do!" Vinyl Scratch squeed, before rushing off down the hallway.

"MAKE SURE YOU ACTUALLY USE SOME SOAP!"

___________________________________________________

"Tavi where are we going?" Vinyl Scratch whined, looking down the long dirt road that led to their destination. "Can't you just teach me yourself?"

"No Vinyl we need the best of the best. A sophisticated pony that can really whip you into shape in no time! You could use the work out anyway." Octavia teased, sticking her tongue at her worn out companion. "You do want Twilight to like you don't you?"

"Of course I do!" Vinyl Scratch squealed, licking her lips in lustfully. "Oh the things I would do to that purple flank

SMACK!

Before her perverted friend could finish that sentence, Octavia quickly struck the back of her head with an unforgiving hoof.

"OW! What the hell was that for!?" Vinyl Scratch whimpered, rubbing the back of her bruised head with a hoof. "What in Celestia's name did I do?"

"Proper mares don't speak that way Vinyl! You can compliment her mane or her eyes but not her flank!" Octavia hissed, glaring daggers at Vinyl Scratch. "You have to take this seriously! I'm tired of bailing you out of trouble everytime you drown your sorrows in whiskey and cider."

"So how do proper mares talk? Do they use fancy words like "indubitably" and "cynosure?" Vinyl Scratch joked, getting an exasperated sigh out of Octavia. "Do I have to take off my goggles to?"

"Whats a cynosure? I've never heard of that." Octavia asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. "Is it some kind of fruit?"

"Actually I think refers to a dogs ass. Octavia you're such a cynosure." Vinyl Scratch joked, giggling maniacally at her own cleverness.

"Oh dear Celestia this could turn out to be the worst day of my life." Octavia groaned, noticing that their destination was coming up. "Okay Vinyl are you ready? Did you brush your teeth with actual toothpaste this time?"

"Yup!" Vinyl Scratch replied, flashing a big, white smile.

"Did you take a proper shower?" Octavia questioned, eying her friends white fur. Not a single spot.

"Yes!" Vinyl Scratch exclaimed proudly

"You did use soap right?"

"Maybe."

"Just get your flank inside before I kill myself." Octavia huffed, pointing a hoof at the entrance of the Carousel Boutique. Home of Vinyl Scratch's social salvation. Hopefully.

"Do you think Rarity will have any hay fries in there?" Vinyl Scratch asked, rubbing her chin in thought. "I'm starving!"

"GET INSIDE NOW!"

______________________________________________________

"Darling I really appreciate the fact that you came to me first for advice on the matter, although I'm not entirely sure that this is the right thing to do. Don't you think she should simply find somepony more.....Compatible?"

After a long discussion on Vinyl Scratch's romantic troubles, the three had gathered around Rarity's kitchen table to come up with an effective rehabilitation program for the love stricken mare. Rarity knew that Vinyl had a few problems when she waltzed in demanding hay fries, but she wasn't quite prepared for the magnitude of the situation.

"Rarity I really need your help! There has to be something you can teach me!" Vinyl Scratch pleaded. "Can't you at least give me the basics?"

"Learning how to be a proper mare isn't something you just learn, it takes a lot of practice." Rarity responded, looking at the mare whose hopes had just been crushed. "Who exactly are you trying to woo my dear?"

"I think it would be best if she didn't say right now." Octavia interrupted, fearing that the legal fiasco might dissuade Rarity from helping her hopeless friend.

"Is it Twilight Sparkle?" Rarity asked nonchalantly, after taking a sip from her cup of tea. "She already told me about the restraining order that was enforced on her "Creepy Neighbor" And I think it's safe to assume that the creepy neighbor is Vinyl."

"Will you still help me?" Vinyl whimpered

Letting loose a small sigh, Rarity gave a quick nod. "Yes I will. Just don't bring your goggles the next time you visit okay? We're going to give you a make over. "SWEETIE BELLE! CANCEL ANY APPOINTMENTS I'VE MADE FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS!" Rarity yelled, startling her two guests.

With that task finished, Rarity turned back to her guests."Octavia does Vinyl have any decent dresses?" Octavia shook her head. "I'll have to make her a decent dress to. Just have her here at about 5 o'clock and I'll take care of the rest."

"Oh thank you Rarity!" Vinyl Scratch cried, rushing around the small table and to give her new tutor a tight hug. "I promise I wont let you down!"

"Ewwww. You smell like old hay fries!" Rarity squealed, trying to free herself from the Vinyl's grasp.

_________________________________________________________________

"Do you really think she can do something about all of this?" Vinyl Scratch asked, gesturing to her white body. "I'm not sure if I can handle anymore humiliation."

"Whats the matter with you Vinyl? DJ Pon3 would NEVER sound so unconfident!" Octavia exclaimed, staring at the crestfallen mare. "It's just simple social skills Vinyl. Nothing to fret over."

Octavia and Vinyl had spent most of the night at home planning for Vinyl's first day under Rarity's tutelage, yet Vinyl's confidence had slowly deteriorated over the few hours they had spent at home. Right now she was trying to figure out the proper way to eat a bowl of soup without slurping like a monster.

"Awww man." Vinyl Scratch muttered, staring at the bowl of water that was substituting soup. "Can't I just spend the rest of my life alone the way you do?"

"First of all I'm not alone! I do go on plenty of dates, I just don't tell you about them because your an embarrassment to be around. Second, I can't believe your making this sound so difficult! Don't you get enough stallions and mares as DJ Pon3?" She asked, poking the back of Vinyls head.

"Thats just a stupid persona I put on for the crowd! Just because I can get a bunch of ponies to start dancing doesn't mean I can get anypony I want with a wave of my hoof. They like my music, not me." Vinyl Scratch muttered, staring at her reflection in the bowl of water. Wow. And I thought Octavia was tough to be around. I must drive ponies to suicide.

"Vinyl look at me!" Octavia demanded, raising Vinyls sagging head with her hoof. "You are a wonderful mare! You just need a little help getting into a proper rhythm! That's why I got Rarity to help you out!"

"You really think so?" Vinyl whispered, looking up at her roommate.

"Yes! You know how you manipulate a record and perfect it for the crowd? Rarity does the something for ponies and I know for a fact that, once she gets you on the right track, you'll be beating ponies away with both hooves!" With that finished she picked up the bowl of water and dumped it down the sink. "I know this is hard for you but I promise that It will work itself out in the end."

*Meanwhile*

"Sis it's almost midnight." Sweetie Belle squeaked, letting out a ferocious yawn. "When are you coming to bed?"

"I'm sorry Sweetie, but I need to get this dress finished up by tomorrow." Rarity replied, drawing up a design for a white and red dress Nice and simple. Maybe I should add a few musical notes!. "Somepony really needs this and I don't want to let her down."

"She sounds pretty special." Sweetie Belle said slyly, giving Rarity a small wink. "Who is she anyway?"

"Oh Sweetie it isn't that shes a SPECIAL somepony. It's just that she really reminds me of myself when I was just a foal." Rarity replied, with a faint smile growing on her tired features. "You don't think I was always this way do you?"

"What do ya mean sis?" Sweetie Belle asked, picking at her sisters crumpled up drawings. "You've been like you for as long as I can remember!"

"Foals aren't born with class and sophistication, it's something you have to learn growing up! What kind of pony would want to buy a dress from a mare who dresses like a slob and speaks like a little foal?" Taking a deep breath, Rarity crumpled up her latest drawing and hurled into the corner of the room with the rest of the failures. "I was lucky enough to learn as much as I could as quickly as possible. But this certain mare has no one else to teach her and her only friend can't do it all on her own."

"Oh. Well don't stay up to late sis." Sweetie Belle squeaked, making her way back to her welcoming bed."Good night."

"Good night Sweetie." Rarity mumbled, scribbling furiously with a worn down pencil. I just hope I don't let Vinyl down.