I Wub You!

"Okay so I can't talk about sex, my collection of Twilight action figures, bodily fluids, and myself without somepony asking me to." Vinyl said, munching on her fifth cherry donut. "That sounds like it sucks."

"I promise that it's all worth it in the end Vinyl." Rarity replied, impressed by Vinyl determination. "If only we could work on your eating habits."

"Whats that supposed to mean!?" Vinyl replied, spraying crumbs out of her mouth. "I have to keep this badass figure, don't I? What does that have to do with being fancy?"

Rarity didn't reply. Instead she simply began to chuckle, trying, and failing, to hider her laughing face with hoof while while Vinyl sat and stared in bewilderment at the dress maker. "Whats so funny?"

"Nothing Vinyl." Rarity replied, wiping a tear from her eye. "It's just nice to spend some time with somepony who doesn't really care for proper etiquette. Do you know how hard it is to put on the whole "proper mare" routine all day every day? It's VERY hard." Rarity pointed out, giving Vinyl a warm smile.

"What are you talking about?" Vinyl didn't see the problem in being fancy. Sure it was hard to learn, but wasn't it worth it when ponies liked you a little more for it? "If I was able to control stallions the way you do, I wouldn't have to work a day in my life!"

"You think it's that easy!?" Rarity asked playfully, pointing her whole wheat donut threateningly at the dj. "What do you think ponies will say when I burp in public or eat a cinnamon roll without running for half an hour? That I'm a disgusting, horrible mare! You, on the other hand, get to do whatever you want! Ponies already think your weird so you can act as weird as you want to and get away with it!"

"Wow. I never really thought about it that way." Vinyl whispered, staring at the smiling Rarity. "Is that really how you feel?"

Rarity gave a simple nod, answering Vinyl's question. "Of course we still have to teach you proper manners if we ever have want to get you with Twilight." Rarity added, swiping Vinyl's last cherry donut from her white hoof.

"Hey! That was my donut." Vinyl pouted, with a trembling lower lip. "How could you be so cruel!?"

"I don't want the donut Vinyl. I wanted to see your best pout!" Rarity replied, giggling at the mare as she wiped a small tear from her eye. "I have to say, your pout is pretty good! No wonder Octavia hasn't thrown you out yet. With puppy eyes like that, you'll have stallions eating out of your hooves!"

"You really think so?" Vinyl's crushed expression had shifted to a glowing smile in a matter of seconds."You think it'll work on Twilight?"

"Maybe. You still have to ask her out you dork." Rarity stated, taking another small bite from her healthy donut. "Do you think you can handle that?"

"Definitely! With this dress showing off my flank, it should be easy!" Vinyl replied, giving Rarity a small wink. "All I have to do is ask! How could that be a hard thing to do?"

"Good! Because were going to visit her tomorrow!" Rarity exclaimed, earning a gasp from the dj. "Thats right Vinyl! You and I are going to go visit the mare you admire and "hang out" for a bit."

"WHAT!!!?" Vinyl's scream drew the attention of a few ponies, still hanging around the bakery. "What the HELL ARE Y'ALL LOOKING AT!?" Vinyl screamed, effectively repelling the stares she had been getting from curious and scared ponies."What do you mean "hang out with Twilight"!?"

Vinyl's demand was met with a jaw shattering slap across the face. "Do you feel better now?" Rarity asked, pulling her hoof away from Vinyl's bruising face.

"I cant feel anything! I think my face is numb." Vinyl mumbled, rubbing her face with a hoof. "What do you mean hang out with Twilight?"

"Well you can't ask out a mare when she has a restraining order in place. Once she sees that your a decent mare, she'll drop that restraining order in no time." Rarity stated matter-of-factly, her gaze beginning to soften at the sight of the dj rubbing her red cheek. "Vinyl I'm sorry about slapping you. But you can't act that way. You just can't."

Vinyl didn't respond. Instead she stretched over the small table and pulled Rarity into a tight, yet awkward, hug and gave her cheek a small nuzzle. "It's alright rares. Octavia used to slap me whenever I came home drunk. Which was alot."

"T-thats n-nice darling." Rarity stuttered nervously, still ensnared in Vinyl's hooves.Oh dear. I think I have a bit of a problem. Rarity thought sullenly, as she tried to pull herself from Vinyl's grip with as much willpower as she could muster.

Was Rarity disgusted by the dj? No. Quite the opposite in fact. Holding Vinyl in her hooves was like getting shot in the chest with a bolt of magic. Everything Vinyl came in contact with felt as though it was being washed over by an electrical current. Rarity's hooves were tingling with energy and she wanted nothing more than to be consumed by this powerful feeling that was worming its way into her heart, yet she knew she couldn't let that happen.

"Thats enough Vinyl" Rarity said quietly, pushing the dj away. "You think you can handle being around Twilight without throwing a fit?"

"No doubt." Vinyl replied, with a huge, cocky grin. "Twilight's as good as mine!"

"Good." Rarity replied, with the best smile she could dig up. Not good.

"So can I tell you about my bed sores now?" Vinyl Scratch asked, earning herself a small laugh from Rarity.

"Sure."

_______________________________________

"Tavi I'm Hoooooooooome!"

Octavia had been waiting anxiously for her friend to get home after leaving her in the hands of the dress maker. "Well it's about time!I've been worried sick!" Octavia exclaimed, still lounging around on her small couch. "Was it as bad as you thought it would be?"

"Hell no! Easy as pie!"Vinyl squeed, as she trotted into the room and hopped onto her favorite bean bag. "She only hit me once. So I THINK I did pretty good. She said, we were gonna go hang out with Twilight tomorrow."

Octavia raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "You do know what a restraining order is, don't you?" I should probably go and buy a second bottle of wine. "Remember what I said? Another arrest and you'll be living in a cardboard box."

"Oh tavi you worry to much!" Vinyl Scratch exclaimed, waiving a passive hoof at her annoyed friend."With Rares on my side, I don't think Twilight would really do anything. All I need to do is make her fall in love with me! Not the hardest thing to do, is it."

"You sound pretty confident for an unstable alcoholic." Octavia stated, still reading her issue of mares monthly.

"Yeah well you're ugly! Suck it nerd!" Vinyl exclaimed, before diving out of harms way as a pillow flew at her head. "I'm just kidding! Jeez, you fancy Canterlot ponies can't take a joke."

"You're about to take a glass bottle to the side of your big head!" Octavia hissed, as she reached for another pillow." Now get back here and take you medicine like a mare!"

WIth an amused squeal, Vinyl darted out of the room as Octavia began to chase after her target." How are you gonna catch with all of that fancy Canterlot food collecting in your fat flank!?" Octavia yelled, before she dove into her room and shut her door with a flash of her horn.

"You better sleep with one eye open Vinyl" Octavia yelled from the otherside of the locked door." As soon as you let your guard down, you're getting a snout full of feathers!"

Meanwhile.

"What am I going to do Fluttershy!?" Rarity groaned, as she sat and watched her yellow friend prepare dishes of animal food for a garden always filled with hungry critters. "I can't tell her that the deals off! That would break her heart!"

"Why can't you tell her how you feel Rarity?" Fluttershy asked, before she tore another bag of bird food open with the yank of her teeth. "It sounds as if you two get along pretty well."

Rarity let loose another long, dramatic sigh as she looked at her friend with a torn look. "I can't do that. She came to me because she already her heart set on another mare. If I ruined that, she would NEVER forgive me." While her friend filled up small dishes with dog food, Rarity began to run through options she could make.

Maybe I could just let her twist in the wind. She would NEVER have a chance with Twilight without my help! Rarity thought, but her small smile quickly faded into a frown. How could I live with myself if I did that to her!? Thats not an option. Rarity took a quick peek at Fluttershy as she fought over a bag of carrots with an annoyed Angel. I could always help her out and spend as much time as possible with her. All I have to do is beat out TWILIGHT. Off all the mares in Equestria, why did it have to be Twilight!?

Could you blame her? The least romantic mare in all of Equestria and she wins over the heart of Rarity's crush without even trying! Stupid, sexy Twilight! Rarity thought bitterly, before turning and looking Fluttershy with pleading eyes.

"What do you think I should do Fluttershy?" Rarity asked, as she stared at a victorious pegasus. "I'm in quite a jam."

"Well why don't you just beat the other mare?" Fluttershy squeaked, as she stuffed an extra bag of carrots back into a small cabinet. "Most of the stallions in town like you. It couldn't be that hard to MAKE a mare like you."

"THATS IT!" Rarity yelled, pushing herself off the small couch."SABOTAGE! All I have to do is show her how TERRIBLE her crush is! Once I do that, she'll have no choice but to love me! I just need some time to plan."

"Thats not what I meant." But Fluttershy's plea was met with the slam of her front door. Rarity was already gone.

"Oh dear. Of all the mares in town, I never thought Rarity would be a fillyfooler." Fluttershy squeaked, before going back to work in her small kitchen. Wheres a decent stallion when you need one.