Cowcolt Bebop

by lilinuyasha

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Original Character, Adventure, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4198

Space Trekker and Bonsai are two bounty hunters Just looking to make some good pay.

Space Trekker and Bonsai are two bounty hunters looking to make some decent pay in the year 2291. Join them as their adventures across the universe expand, revealing secrets and lies in the past of the two.

Published 2011-09-13 15:11:21 UTC
Last updated 2011-09-19 00:10:11 UTC

Lost in space

Trekker sighed. “We’re not gonna make it at this rate.” he said.

“Relax. I’ve got this covered.” said Bonsai. Space Trekker, a tall, dark grey pony with a green mane,sat back in his seat.

“I told you we should’ve stopped for gas on Venus.”

“Alright. My bad. Now let’s focus on the issue at hoof.” Bonsai, as he came to be nicknamed for his strange attachment to taking care of them, ignored Trekker and continued operating the switches. Bonsai was a well built steed, muscular, tall, with a red body and a black mane.

“Alright, hold on to your seatbelt. This is gonna get a bit rocky.”

As Bebop, their spaceship, entered Pluto’s orbit, Bonsai prepared the landing gear. They had JUST enough gas to land. After that, they were out of gas and flat broke. Bebop pulled into the landing bay, securing a spot. A small, worn sign reading “Welcom to Plut” greeted their arrival. It had obviously been worn down by years of blizzard-like conditions.

“See? Told you I had it covered!”

“Great. But if we don’t get this bounty, how exactly do you plan on getting off this planet?”

Bonsai wasn’t exactly sure what to say. “We’ll figure it out then. Get your stuff. It’s cold out there.”

Trekker and Bonsai put on warmer clothing and stepped out of the Bebop into the cold, frozen planet. Trekker never understood why ponies lived here. It was so far desolate in the solar system that it was a major spot for bounties and other criminals to go to escape. Trekker took a deep breath in, letting the refreshing cold fill his lungs.

“Alright. So where is he?” asked Trekker.

“Well, our closest info says he likes to loiter around bars.”

“That’s not very helpful. This is a bounty, not an adventure game.”

“Well, “Crank” Dash, as he’s known, is a known alcoholic. Why don’t you check the bars? There’s only two of them around. I’ll ask around to see if I can get some street info on him.”

Trekker sighed. “Yeah. Sounds good. If you hear gunfire, you’ll know where to find me.”

Bonsai smiled. “You do know how to cause trouble. Anyways, I’ll keep in contact with you if I find anything.”

“Sounds good.”

And with that, Trekker and Bonsai went their separate ways.

Trekker traveled down a small, icy street. Ever since they decided to populate the planet, the cold was bearable. He still shivered as he looked for a potentially shady bar. To his right, he passed a boarded-up door with a spraypainted martini glass under a “bar” sign. Trekker found this a good place to start and went in.

The welcoming bell rang, and every pony in the bar turned to look at him. Yep. This was where he’d find him. Trekker ignored their looks and took a spot at the bar, next to a white pony with a black mane, between another burly steed with brown hair and a black mane.

“What’ll it be?” said the bartender.

“I’ll take anything you have. Something to warm my body from the cold.”

The bartender smiled. “You’re not from around here, are you?”

“Was it that obvious?”

The bartender smiled again. The ponies on either side of Trekker shifted their weight, a bit uneasy. “I’ll take a double shot of gin and tonic. Stirred, not shaken. With a sprig of lemon.”

The bartender looked at him. “That’s oddly specific. Not sure I can do the lemon. In case you haven’t noticed, our planet ain’t exactly good for farmin’.”. The bartender looked at Trekker, then to the pony to his right, then back at Trekker. “I’ll get that right out for you, colt.”

“Thanks. So...” Said Trekker as he turned to his right. “...What brings you Pluto?”

The pony stared at him, an evil glare.

“Not the talkative type, I see. Well, that’s just too bad. Here I was thinking we could engage in a delightful conversation over a glass of tonic.”

The pony looked away, grabbing his glass.

“I’d buy.”

The pony looked at him. As the bartender set Trekker’s gin and tonic on the bar, the pony to Trekker’s right grabbed his glass and swung at Trekker. Trekker strafed his head right and grabbed his hoof, swinging the pony around as the one to Trekker’s left tried to pound Trekker’s face with his hoof, only to punch the other pony’s body. Trekker let the body fall to the floor as the other pony, in anger and futility, charged at him. Trekker strafed left and tripped him, sending him sprawling face first down to the floor. The bartender ducked down behind the bar as Trekker leaped over it and ducked behind it. The two ponies who had sat next to Trekker, now aware of what was going on, pulled themselves up off the floor and drew their guns. Trekker drew his pistol and blindfired over the counter, trying to hit something. He had no such luck as both of the ponies who had sat next to Trekker retreated, flipping over a table and setting it as shelter as the patrons in the bar got ready for a brawl.

“Good to see you again, Gin!” Said Trekker.

“I’d love to catch up, but I’m a bit preoccupied.” Said the bartender as he drew a shotgun from under the counter.

“I’ve always had terrible timing!” Said Trekker as he leaned over the counter, firing. Trekker shot down 3 ponies before he grabbed his gin and tonic from the bar and ducked behind the counter, reloading. After he reloaded, Trekker quickly drank it.

“You’re one crazy son of a bitch, you know that?” Said Gin as he ducked behind the bar after firing a few rounds.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” He said before glancing over the counter again, shooting a few rounds at some of the ponies reloading near the entrance to the bar. Trekker came down to reload.

“Body!” Said Gin as the dead body of a purple pony fell in front of him. Gin ducked behind the counter. “Filly tried to jump the counter on us” He said, putting more cocks in his shotgun. Trekker, done with his reload, froze for a minute. The sound of gunfire was no longer existent. He slowly leaned over the counter to observe his surroundings. The minute his head popped the counter, gunfire resounded and Trekker ducked behind the bar again.

Gunfire came from the entrance of the bar as Bonsai entered, guns blazing. Some of the ponies behind shelter, including the ones Trekker sat next to, lowered their guard went out to fight Bonsai by hoof, breaking beer bottles scattered haphazardly about the floor after the start of the fight. While they were distracted, Trekker fired at them, killing them. Bonsai, now only dealing with one pony, took care of him quickly, curb stomping him before galloping over to the bar, hopping over it while Trekker and Gin provided cover fire.

“Follow the gunfire, just like you said.”

“Yeah, I’m kind of predictable like that.”

Gin readied his shotgun and leaned over the counter. He fired once towards his right side and stumbled back, shot in his front leg, crashing against the alcohol cabinet before contorting his body in pain. Trekker slid closer to him as gunfire broke through the counter and glasses dropped all around him. Bonsai fired, killing off the remaining two.

“You’re gonna be alright, Gin.” said Trekker. “Just hold on there.” he said, wrapping his front leg with a bandage. Bonsai leaned behind the counter again and, seeing nopony else, looked at Trekker.

“You’ve caused quite a bit of a mess, Trekker.”

“Yeah, I have a bad habit I need to quit. Like you chewing your hooves.”

Bonsai froze for a second. He couldn’t deny it. He did have a nervous habit.

Suddenly, Trekker heard the welcoming bell ring and he looked over the counter. One of the ponies, apparently alive, was galloping away, leaving a trail of blood.

“That’s your bounty!”shouted Bonsai. Trekker hopped the bar and took off after him as Bonsai took care of Gin.

Trekker kept the brown-haired, blue-maned pony in his sight. Crank took off down the cold street, taking a hard turn, heading down an alley, Trekker following him closely. As he turned into the alley, Crank swung a hoof at him from nowhere, hitting Trekker hard in the face as he stumbled back. Trekker regained his balance as he stood up and motioned for Crank to come at him.Crank rushed forward, launching a power attack him that Trekker easily dodged. As Crank’s inertia carried him forward, Trekker swung his hoof, knocking Crank in the back of his head. Crank fell forward, landing face first in the snow. Crank quickly regained his balance, standing right back up, just in time to see Trekker’s hoof slam against him, breaking his nose. Crank reeled back, slamming his head against the side of a building, knocking himself out.

“Looks like I cranked it up a bit too much.” said Trekker. A terrible pun, he knew, but who was there to stop him?

Trekker hoofcuffed Crank and headed back to the bar. Trekker was instead met by Bonsai and Gin in the street.

“You get him?”

“Would you expect any less of me? How you holding up, Gin?”

“It’s a pretty bad gunshot wound, but he’ll pull through.” said Bonsai.

“That’s good news.” said Trekker. “You get the bounty and turn it in. I’ll take Gin to the hospital. We have a bit of catching up to do.”

Bonsai agreed and trotted behind the building, flinging Crank up upon his back and carrying him to the local police station to collect the bounty. As Bonsai collected the money, a considerable sum, Trekker put Gin in the hospital. Bonsai filled the Bebop with gas and food for several weeks and got ready to takeoff. Trekker got Gin situated and propped up.

“You gonna hold up?”

“I’ll be fine.” said Gin, looking away from Trekker. “I know what you’re here for.”

“I came here for a bounty. Nothing less.”

Gin turned to face Trekker. “No...this is about Rose. And I know it.”

Cold weather, Colder hearts

Trekker glanced at Gin. “I came here for a bounty. Nothing more.”

“You said nothing less before.”

Trekker sighed and wiped his face with his hoof. “Alright. Yeah. I heard word she passed through Pluto. I took a bounty here figuring I’d find her.”

“What if she’s not ready to be found, Trek?”

Trekker had never considered this possibility. He’d spent his life tracking her down. Maybe she really was running away. Trekker looked at Gin with a solemn look.

“She came to the bar, Trek.”

“When?” said Trekker, thirsting for information.

“About a week ago. She left the next day. She mentioned something about Malice. She couldn’t stay because of Malice.”

Trekker’s face contorted with rage.

“Do you know him?”

“Malice and I have a...history.” he said. “We served in the same platoon during the Mars invasion.”

“And then what?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” said Trekker, forcefully.

Gin started to speak, but quickly closed his mouth, eventually saying “You never were one to talk about much. You’re a mysterious colt, you know that?”

“I’m better off as a mystery. Take care of yourself, Gin.”

“Yeah...see you, space colt.” And with that, Trekker left the hospital and headed back toward the Bebop. As he left the hospital, a light red pony with a darker red mane passed him, carrying a bouquet of roses. Trekker froze, lost in memories. “Rose...”

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Rose.”

“You don’t understand, Trek...I have to do this.”

I gave her a solemn look. She couldn’t have been serious. We were madly in love. At least I was. She was my life. And here she was, taking it away from me.

“No, Rose, you don’t.”

It was raining that day...I remember that much. She turned away from me and trotted away.

“I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth, Rose. I’m not going to just let you leave.”

She froze. She looked over her shoulder one more time, a look of sadness very apparent even in the rain. She looked away from me again and trotted off.

I don’t remember ever showing as much emotion before then. But then I got down on all of my knees and cried. My shouts of agony were muffled by the rain. Since then, I’ve never shown much emotion either.

“Excuse me?” said the red pony.

“Oh. Nice roses.” Trekker said, catching himself back to the present. Trekker left her with her awkward look of confusion and trotted out of the hospital.

“Took you long enough.” said Bonsai as Trekker trotted in to the living area and laid down on the couch.

“Yeah, Gin and I had a bit to discuss.” he said, realizing then that he had forgotten to even discuss his matter with Gin. He’d been so wrapped up with Rose, it slipped his mind. “It was great catching up with an old friend.” Trekker mentally kicked himself.

“You seem aggravated.” said Bonsai, concentrating on getting Bebop out of the runway and into space.

“Me? Nah. I’m pretty sure I’m keeping my calm demeanor.”

“This is about Rose, isn’t it?” said Bonsai shortly after they blasted off towards unknown horizons.

Trekker glanced over at Bonsai, who was clipping his trees.

“Don’t think I don’t know, Trek. The last word you heard was that she was on Pluto. Instead of taking a larger bounty on Saturn, we drifted all the way out here to that God-forsaken frozen wasteland.”

Trekker looked back up at the ceiling. He wasn’t even sure how Bonsai knew. Trekker simply sighed with a little “Eeyup.”

“How’s the back hoof?” asked Trekker, changing the subject.

“Doing a bit better.” said Bonsai. About a month ago, he’d been shot in his back right hoof in a bounty raid on Neptune. In the end, he got the bounty, but had to spend it on a prosthetic hoof. Bonsai still trotted around with a slight limp. “Still hurts a bit, but nothing compared to before.”

“Are you going to need me to cook dinner again?”

“After that last fiasco, I’d say I’ll handle it this time.” Trekker had somehow managed to singe every bit of meat he cooked, as well as lighting part of his mane on fire. In his confusion trying to put the fire out, He jumped around, forgetting he held the hot pan filled with oil. Trekker still had a bit of a noticeable burn where he fell into it. They ate canned food for two weeks after that. At least the fire got put out.

“Yeah, I think that’s good plan.” Trekker said.

After dinner, Trekker and Bonsai sat in front of the TV, where their galactic programming channel outlined news of new bounties.

“Hello, bounty Hunters!!! Time for another episode of Hunter’s digest!” Wasn’t exactly the catchiest name in the universe, but it had to do. “First up, we have news that “Crank” Dash, the section Z leader for the illegal drug market was caught Today in Pluto! Kudos to the bounty hunters!” Trekker and Bonsai high-hoofed each other. “But the section X leader is still running amuck on Venus! He’s going for 1,000,000 Bits!”

“One MILLION?” Trekker and Bonsai yelled in disbelief.

“One MILLION!!! Isn’t that a big bounty? Guess you’d better get huntin’! Meanwhile, two separate bounties, Mighty Hoofstrong and Burly Hoofstrong, brothers in crime, have recently robbed several banks on Uranus! Add to that several murders in the process, and you’ve got some daaaaaangerous criminals!” “That’s right, fillies and colts!” said the other pony on the show. “Both of them are going for 600,000 right now! Guess what close brothers tend to do? STICK TOGETHER!!! That’s a chance for 1,200,000 Bits if you find both of them!!! And thirdly...” “Well shoot, Shooter! Seems we’re all out of time! We’ll see you next time on Hunter’s digest!!! So long, Space Colts!!!”

Bonsai and Trekker turned off the TV.

“Well this poses a bit of a conundrum. Shall we go for the easy 1,000,000 for go for the extra cash?” asked Bonsai.

“I say We go for the easy 1,200,000.”

“Don’t get cocky now.”

“It’s not cocky if you’re positive.” Said Trekker, Smirking.

“Well, Uranus it is, then.” said Bonsai as he put the cockpit destination and turned autopilot on. Bonsai went to his room to prune his precious trees while Trekker stayed in the living room, cleaning and polishing his guns. Once that was finished, he went to his room, drifting off into tumultuous sleep.

***

“Flank right!!!” Yelled Trekker. They were surrounded by the opposing side.

Chagrin, his wingcolt, turned his attention to his right side, gunning down most of the opposing flankers from that side. “You’ve really gotta stop talking about my flank at times like these.” He said. “It’s not the best time to ogle me, Trek.”

“Well I’ll ogle all I want. Left flank, by the way.” Chagrin turned his attention behind him as Trek finished off the right side. Trek ducked down inside the trench they were in and grabbed a grenade. He chucked it forward, blasting an opposing trench as Chagrin cleared his left side. He then turned his attention behind him, killing of a charging colt shortly before he got to Trekker. “You have to be more aware of these things.” He said.

“Guess I’m buying the drinks tonight.” Said Trekker, smirking again. “We’ve cleared enough out. Let’s run back to base for backup.”

That’s right...it was a reconnaissance mission.

Trekker chucked another grenade out from the trench for good measure as he and Chagrin galloped across the desert plains.

The strong Hoofstrongs

The bebop touched down on Uranus’ largest hangar. Trekker trotted to the cockpit, where Bonsai was already up and getting things ready.

“How’d you sleep?” he asked Trekker, focusing his attention on his computer.

“Eh.” said Trekker. “Not good. Not bad.”

“Well I hope you got enough rest. Shit’s about to get real.”

Trekker sighed, facehoofing. “That was just terrible.”

“Better than your ‘cranking it up’ line.”

Trekker laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. So, what have we got on them?”

“Well, both of them obviously robbed the banks. Uranus’ central and then the interplanetary credit union. There’s not too much know about the two other than that they’re the same color. They have a light blue coat and a dark blue mane.”

“Well that eliminates about half the planet.” said Trekker sarcastically. Light blue was the dominant color for ponies.

“That’s about all we have to go on. They don’t have a manly mark.” noted Bonsaid. Colts typically referred to their cutie marks as “manly marks” to avoid being treated like girls. “They decided to stay a blank flank. Easier not to get identified that way.”

“So they never discovered any talent?”

“Their skills in crime are extensive. Their mark couldn’t pick just one. Says in the database they’ve robbed several banks on Uranus, Pluto, Saturn, and Jupiter. They’ve got a lot of murder and assault charges.”

“Sounds mundane.” said Trekker, slyly, smirking.

“More exciting than a drug lord. Anyways, here’s some video footage of the robbery recently.” said Bonsai, as Trekker leaned in closer.

“What kind of gun is that?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it before. Looks like a mix between an automatic assault rifle and a shotgun.”

Trekker leaned in closer. The other pony had regular weapons, a standard pistol and an SMG. “That’s definitely custom made.” said Trekker, pointing to the first pony’s shotgun/rifle.

“Just wait till you see what it can do.” said Bonsai, playing the tape again. The pony, seeing that his brother had collected money, pointed the weapon at one of the ponies who’d been forced onto the ground. As he fired, the pony’s head exploded, throwing blood all over the wall, ground, and the robber’s body. With that, the two dashed off, out the entrance, leaving the bank in pandemonium.

“Now look at the ground behind the shot.”

Trekker zoomed the area. A giant hole had been left there, several inches deep, a few feet in diameter. It shortly went out of view as the pony feel back into it, cradling the hole in a fetal position.

“That’s not too bad.” said Trekker. “I’ve seen worse.”

“Be careful, Trek. Don’t take this lightly. That’s how I lost my leg.”

“Nah. I never take things lightly. Just most things.”

And with that, Trekker and Bonsai stepped out of the Bebop into the warm, tropical atmosphere of Uranus.

“Well, where should we start?” asked Trekker.

“I have no clue. Bars are a bit stereotypical. I’ll ask around the streets. You head to the bank and see if you can gather anything there.”

“Alright. Follow the gunfire if you’re in doubt.” said Trekker, turning around and trotting off towards the bank. Bonsai toured up and down the streets, asking ponies huddled around fires and shopkeepers alike.

Trekker reached the bank, where several policecolts were set up. As Trekker tried to approach, they shoved him off, letting him know he wasn’t welcome.

“Easy.” said Trekker. “I just wanna know about the burglars.”

“Information cannot be disclosed at this point. Carry on.” said the light blue pony, forcing him to go elsewhere. Trekker took a look at him, smiling to himself.

“Alright. You have a good day.” he said. “I hope they get caught.”

“You and I both. Good day to you as well. Now go.”

Trekker turned around and trotted towards a nearby bar, surveying the bank closely. His phone rang and Trekker flipped it open to Bonsai’s face.

“You got anything?” asked Bonsai.

“I found him. Well, one of them.”

“Where is he? You already bagged and tagged?”

“Nah. We gotta keep him eye on him. They’ll meet up at some point. Now come to the bar by the bank. We’ll catch up like old friends.”

Bonsai and Trekker sat in the bar, drinking away, keeping an eye on the bank.

“Yo, barkeep.” said Trekker. “I’ll take another one.”

“Same thing?”

“Actually, we’ll try something different. How about I get...rum and vodka, shaken, on the rocks, with an orange sprig.”

The bartender raised an eyebrow at the orange sprig part. “Orange sprig, eh? I take it you’re here for the Hoofstrongs.”

“Nah. I just like oranges.” he said, letting the bartender continue on.

“Is that code for something?” asked Bonsai.

“Yeah. Bartenders tend to keep an eye out for bartenders. Lemon peel means they’re in the bar. Remember Gin? Orange peel indicates they’re nearby and we’re looking for them. Thank you!” said Trekker, breaking the story to accept his drink. “Only thing is...” said Trekker, dropping his voice. “real bartenders don’t make mention of bounties. He’s obviously got a bounty on him too. Or he’s watchdog.”

“Hm.” said Bonsai. He glanced over at the bartender, serving another pony a drink. Bonsai noticed his mane’s color. Light blue. Dark blue mane. “So do we have a lemon peel?”

“Eeyup. Let’s wait till his shift’s over. We’ll follow them and take them out then.”

Hours passed as Bonsai and Trekker sat, watching the bartender.

“I’m closing up shop.” he said. “You colts have to leave.”

Bonsai and Trekker trotted out, suddenly realizing that they had too much to drink. They stumbled out the door towards the dark street, dimly lit by several low-watt streetlights.

“Well thisn’t good.” slurred Trekker

“Waddayawanna do?”

“Well he still gotta catchem.”

“Drunk? You’re funny, Trekker.” said Bonsai, laughing.

“I guess so. Hey, did you always have that color mane?”

“No, I just changed it this morning.”

“Really?”

“No.” he said, as both of them burst out into laughter.

“Shh...” said Trekker as they both hid in a nearby alleyway, waiting for the bartender.

The blue maned pony locked up shop and looked around, making sure nopony was near him. Trekker peeked from around the corner, waiting till he trotted off around the corner. Trekker and Bonsai then trotted, to the best of their ability, to that corner and peeked around. The pony was gone.

“Dammit...” said Trekker. Bonsai trotted around, down the street. Trekker kept an eye on him as Bonsai continued trotting. Suddenly, a dark figure appeared from the alley and snatched Bonsai, muffling him in silence. Trekker dashed from around the corner to the alley, seeing two ponies, both blue maned. The policecolt from before and the bartender stared him down as Bonsai lay unconscious. Without thinking, Trekker charged in, trying to slam against one of the Hoofstrong brothers. He simply strafed right, letting Trekker trip over Bonsai. Trekker, still inebriated, fell to the floor, unable to keep his balance. He struggled to get up as one of the brothers tried to hit him with a glancing blow. Trekker ducked and returned the favor, hitting him across the cheek. The other brother charged, slamming against Trekker, throwing him to the floor once again. As Trekker attempted to get up, the other brother stomped on his face, knocking Trekker out, leaving him in a black, mindless void.