Dashing Do and the Unobtainable Item

by Feather Scratch

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2805

Rainbow Dash tries her hoof at being an adventurer like her idol Daring Do.

Everyone dreams of being like their hero.
When a heavy work load keeps her from completing the latest Daring Do novel a certain cyan Pegasus decides to make the work go faster by pretending to be an adventurer.

Published 2013-02-02 10:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-02 10:20:01 UTC

Dashing Do and the Unobtainable Item

Dashing Do and the Unobtainable Item

By Feather Scratch

Daring Do pressed her body against one of the many crumbling walls that littered the lost city Manechu Picchu, willing herself to blend into the late afternoon shadows.

Fearing her audibly hammering heart may jump out of her throat if she didn’t calm down,Daring closed her eyes and took several deep, steadying breaths. That had been the closest call yet,but it was worth it.

Allowing herself a moment to savour her victory,she removed her pith helmet,both to allow the gentle breeze to cool her head and to admire her newest prize hidden there for safe keeping, the Obsidian Amulet of Quetzalcoatl.

An ear-splitting screech from deep within the bowels of the tomb she had just escaped snapped Daring out of her reverie.This was no time to admire her handy work. The sun would set in a matter of minutes,and she would lose her only defence against the demon priest who seemed to be in the mood for a pony heart entre.

He probably wanted his amulet back too.

Replacing her helmet securely on her head, Daring set off at a mad dash down the side of the mountain. She knew even at top speed she couldn’t make it to her boat on the river before the sun set,but, if she was lucky, she could put enough distance between herself and the priest to get away.

“Jeez, he’s not the first stallion to go after my heart,but he’s sure as heck the most persistent...and literal!”

Chancing a glance over her shoulder,Daring just managed to catch a glimpse of the last rays of Celestia’s sun disappearing over the horizon.

A familiar screech rang out into the open night air. The chase was on.

~~~

“This is so awesome!”

Rainbow Dash flipped the page of the latest Daring Do book she had borrowed from Twilight. Even now, several volumes into the series, Rainbow couldn’t believe she could enjoy reading this much. It was like every time she opened up a new chapter in the series she forgot about everything else around her and was pulled into another world entirely.

She had only gotten her hooves on the book that morning and by lunch time she was already half way through.

“Lunchtime?!” A quick glance at the clock on the wall of her cloud home confirmed the niggling feeling in the back of her head that she had been forgetting something.

“I was supposed to clear out the last of the storm clouds for market today. Oh, horse apples, I’m so late!”

With a frown and a reluctant sigh Rainbow dropped the book on her bed and darted for the door.

“The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can get back to the story.”

Having a house made out of clouds did have certain advantages. One of which being that, if you were in a hurry you didn’t have to worry about annoying details like having to stop to open the door. Unfortunately, flying through the front door at speed did have the drawback of not giving the mailmare coming in the opposite direction any time to react.

CLONK!

Letters flew into the air like confetti as the two stunned mares seemed to be making an admirable attempt to occupy the same space at the same time.

Eventually the force of their respective momentum wore off and the pair flopped to the soft cloud porch.

“Oww!” Rainbow Dash massaged her recently flattened face, trying to coax a little definition back into her features. “Sorry, Derpy, my bad. I wasn’t expecting anypony, and I’m really late for work so...”

“’S okay, Dash.” Derpy the mailmare swayed, a little unsteady on her hooves, as she retrieved her scattered letters. “I would have gotten here hours ago, but it was Family Appreciation Day at Dinky’s school. I couldn’t make it to the one last year so I had to be there today.”

“I understand.” Rainbow scooped up a bunch of the fallen letters and dumped them in Derpy’s mail bag before jumping off the edge of the cloud and giving her wings a gentle beat so she could hover just at eye level with the mail mare.

“Look, sorry again about bumping into you, but I’ve really gotta go. Just leave the mail on the porch there. I’ll read it when I get back.” Rainbow turned to leave.

“Wait, I need you to sign for this package!”

Rainbow paused mid-flight and drifted back to the porch where Derpy was digging through her bag, “package?”

After a few more seconds digging, Derpy produced a large, brown paper package and passed it to Rainbow along with a notice of delivery.

Rainbow signed the receipt without reading it before looking over the package. It didn’t look particularly interesting but the cyan mare’s eyes lit up when she saw the golden compass seal along the wrapping seam.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!”

“What is it, something good?” Derpy peered over Rainbow’s shoulder, curious what could turn the coolest mare in Ponyville into a squealing filly.

“I’ll say!” Rainbow tore away the wrapper without ceremony and flipped the lid of the box within. Sporting a grin so wide it threatened to consume her entire face, Rainbow produced a tan dress shirt with rolled up sleeves buttoned in place and an authentic, matching Pith helmet.

“I won a Daring Do reader’s competition last month. First prize was an exact replica of Daring’s outfit!” Rainbow Dash threw on the shirt, careful to slide her wings through the pre-cut holes, and shoved the helmet onto her head.

“How do I look?” She beamed at Derpy.

“Wow, you look just like the real Daring Do, Rainbow!” Derpy scratched her chin as a thought struck her. “You’re like...Dashing Do!”

Rainbow did a barrel roll of delight, her eyes sparkling at such a compliment.

“I guess I am pretty awesome! I’m fearless, adventurous-“

“-Late.”

Rainbow stopped and scratched her head in confusion, knocking her helmet into a jaunty angle.

“Didn’t you have somewhere you needed to be?”

The cyan mare’s ears flattened and her pupils narrowed to pin pricks. “Oh, horse apples!”

She darted off in the direction of the market so fast she left the wall-eyed mailmare gawping at a pith helmet spinning in place where Rainbow’s head used to be.

Just before gravity caught up to the prized head piece a rainbow blur darted back, scooped it up, and shot off towards the market in one great, sweeping arc.

Derpy just floated there in silence, trying to absorb the events of the last three minutes. She shook her head before drifting towards Ponyville to continue her rounds.

“And ponies call me strange.”

~~~

Rainbow Dash flew at breakneck speed towards the looming black mass of storm clouds ahead. It was a nice day, all things considered, and despite the cold reception waiting for her Rainbow was walking on sunshine.

“This outfit is so awesome!”

The noises of chattering ponies buying and selling their wares filled her ears as she approached the edge of the market. She halted her flight and surveyed the work ahead of her. Black and gray clouds of varying shapes and sizes hung menacingly in the air. Some rumbled a challenge to any Pegasus who was foalish enough to dare and try and shift them, while some just seemed to swell, pulling in lesser clouds until they were fit to burst and rain on the unsuspecting ponies below.

“Dashing Do, huh?” Rainbow gave a sly, confident grin and adjusted her helmet into a more secure position.

“Alright clouds listen up. There’s an awesome book back home I really want to read, but to get to it I’ve gotta go through you, so give me everything you got. Just don’t take it personally when I buck you into vapour!”

Popping her neck, Rainbow charged at the waiting storm.

Confidently sporting her awesome new adventuring gear,Dashing Do single hoofedly attacked the Storm Cloud army that barred her from the treasure she so desperately sought.

First to take on the brave heroine were the Altocumulus foot soldiers. Small fries with big attitudes, they flashed and sparked, trying to stun Dashing and overwhelm her with sheer force of numbers.Little did they know Dashing Do ate small fries like them for breakfast.

Rainbow Dash zigzagged around the perimeter of the market, manoeuvring in and out of the small clouds that had drifted away from the main body of the storm front, taking each one out with a series of quick bucks. In the case of one that got off a lucky zap, she went for a fierce right hook.

Despite a lucky blow from one of the more sneaky foot soldiers, Dashing Do was still in fighting form and had cleared her first challenge without breaking a sweat.

Now the real fun began,as, with their forward guard decimated, the bigger clouds started to take notice.

“General Nimbostratus, we meet again.” Dashing quipped as the rumbling menace slithered lazily towards what he thought was an easy meal.

Dashing knew better than to be intimidated by her enemy’s bluster and dived right in. But too late she remembered the general’s fighting method of choice was to smother his opponent and disorient them until they made a mistake.

Dashing covered her ears, trying to block out the rumble of thunder that, from the inside, was so loud it felt like a physical blow.

With her head spinning, her senses fogged,and,unable to right her flight pattern from the buffeting winds,the brave heroine did the only thing she could think of. She folded her wings tightly to her sides and curled into a ball, allowing the natural force of gravity to pull her free from the general’s grasp.

A moment after leaving the cloud bank Dashing regained her senses and, with a flurry of feathers, managed to break her fall just before the rushing wall of the ground broke her.

~~~

“Uh, Rainbow, you okay?”

Rainbow Dash snapped out of her daydream and looked around. She was at ground level, in the heart of the market where her sudden entrance had drawn awkward glances and whispers from the crowd.

She gave a small chuckle, and pulled her helmet a little further down her face in an attempt to conceal her rosy cheeks.

Setting down on the ground and shaking the storm induced ruffles out of her feathers Rainbow turned to the mare that had addressed her.

“Oh, hey Applejack, how’s it hangin’?”

“Ah was just askin’ you that,” Applejack came out from behind her apple cart and gave her friend a look of both concern and confusion. “You tumbled out of those clouds faster n’ a ripe apple from a well bucked tree.”

“Oh, I’m fine. General Nimbostratus just caught me off guard is all.”

“General Who now?” Applejack cocked her head to one side and raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, never mind!” Rainbow jumped back into the air, suddenly eager to get away from the conversation. “I got clouds to bust. Talk to ya later!”

Without another word Rainbow was gone, just a shrinking spot of colour against a monochrome sky.

“Nice hat by the way!” Applejack called before shaking her head in exasperation at her flighty friend and returning to her stall.

~~~

Recovering from her near disastrous spill,Dashing Do climbed into the sky to once again face the bulbous General.

“Bet you thought you had me there,General.” She smirked. The General’s rumbling laughter was all the answer she needed. “Well, let’s see if you can handle some real speed!”

With that, Dashing Do turned on the spot and began to fly away. To the casual observer it would have looked like she was running, but, to a Pegasus who knew what they were doing,they could tell this was strategy.

When she felt she had put enough distance between herself and her enemy,Dashing Do turned back to face him. She flexed one front hoof in anticipation. If this were the ground she’d be pawing at the earth. If the General had eyes she’d be staring, unblinking into them. If this were a jousting match this was where the flag would wave.

Giving a snort of defiance,Dashing poured all her strength into her wings and charged. Accelerating faster and faster, it was a matter of seconds before she was pushing against the sound barrier. Just before breaking through,she found herself face to face with the General.

There was a brief moment of darkness and, before her rumbling enemy could react, Dashing Do exploded out the other side.

The vacuum caused by her extreme acceleration sucked the roaring general in like water down a drain,and in the time it took for the cunning Pegasus to catch her breath the once proud general was nothing but a few lingering tendrils.

~~~

Rainbow Dash removed her helmet and wiped her forehead with a fetlock. “Now that was a trick worthy of the Wonderbolts if I do say so myself.”

It was a risky manoeuvre. If she had been just a little slower she would have been swallowed by the cloud, again. If she had gone just a bit faster and actually caused a Sonic Rainboom she would have just scattered the cloud over a wider area and created more work for herself.

“Just one more and I can get back to my book!”

Rainbow turned to face the last and biggest cloud.

~~~

His soldiers and General defeated, the great tyrant of the sky, Emperor Cumulonimbus gave an ear splitting shriek of anger.

The brave heroine felt dwarfed by this towering monster. Spitting lightning like curses and booming to the heavens, the emperor had bested entire armies of Pegasi and here Dashing was, all alone!

But she wasn’t about to back down. The only obstacle between her and her treasure was the Emperor,and if it took all her strength she was determined to conquer him!

“Alright,your Majesty, I think I know how to take you out.”

Flying straight at the towering behemoth,Dashing banked to the side just at the last second as the mad Emperor threw out a lightning bolt that would have spelt the end for her had she stayed her course just a second longer.

Building up speed,Dashing began to circle her foe. Faster and faster she spun, deftly dodging every searing lightning bolt sent her way. When she reached the speed she was after,she started to climb higher and higher until she finally reached the Emperor’s crown. Then she climbed higher.

It was only when the air became too thin to support her weight that she stopped. Dropping down to a safer altitude,she couldn’t help but admire her handy work. The vortex she created had pulled the great storm cloud into the upper atmosphere and was dispersing it in a strangely beautiful corona.

“Who said being a weather mare isn’t exciting?”

Her foes vanquished and the market safe for another day Dashing Do set off to claim her prize.

~~~

A thoroughly exhausted Rainbow Dash crashed through the roof of her house and landed with a soft thump on her bed. Stifling a yawn, she hung her new shirt and helmet on the bed frame and picked up her book.

“Finally.” She cracked it open, her grin spreading as wide as the cover.

~~~

Daring Do could feel it through the ground. The rumbling of the Priest’s heavy hoof beats. At this rate he could just as easily trample her as eat her heart.

Breaking into the fastest gallop she could on the steep incline it was all she could do to ignore the pain of the knife wound in her wing.

“You almost got me once,” she breathed, “you’re not going to get me again!”

The screech told her the priest had caught up. He was right on her tail, so close she could almost smell his putrid breath!

But there it was just ahead, the river! And waiting in the middle was her boat.

She had flown to shore the first time but with her injured wing could she fly back?

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the priest and, just in time, dodged the obsidian axe swung at her head.

“Flying it is.”

Gritting her teeth, she spread her wings and took off. The pain was incredible,and she nearly fell out of the sky,but she knew she couldn’t. This treasure belonged in a museum and her heart belonged in her chest!

With one last Celestian effort she made it across the water and collapsed into her boat; safe.

“Another day, another dungeon!”

~~~

A contented grin still wide on her face, Rainbow Dash hugged the completed book to her chest as she fell asleep, Luna’s moon barely risen over the horizon.

“Daring Do is so cool.”

~The End~