Heroes of the Day

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Canterlot looked as happy as ever...not.

Pillars of sickly black smoke twisted and writhed up into the air from a series of fires spread throughout the city. Even at a distance, these, as well as the occasional missed spell flying into the air, were enough to show that something wasn’t right.

The city itself was covered with splotches of the green goop that the changelings used to ensnare their prey. Whether misses that had hit buildings, or hits that had trapped ponies, the stuff was everywhere, a testament to a long, ongoing battle.

Filling the air like missed spells, cries of help and pain rang out from stuck and injured ponies both Guard and civilian.

Small skirmishes in the streets poofed in and out of existence here and there, but if the massive cloud of black shapes and green flashes said anything, the majority of the battle was focused around the Royal Palace.

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(Moments later...)

Teleport spells are never comfortable. Getting one’s atoms ripped apart and then reassembled in the blink of an eye somewhere else kinda has that effect.

That said, not knowing that you’re going to be suddenly teleported (much less, never having done so before) only adds to the discomfort of it all.

The four soldiers collapsed to the ground, pained expressions on their faces.

Pike weakly pushed himself up with his forearms, his head spinning, and puked as his stomach kept churning in his reassembled guts, most of the sound drowned out by another battle cry from the Guards.

“What the fuck!” Redneck moaned, eyes and jaw clenched tight as his head pounded.

“Spread out and open fire!” one of the Guards called out, firing a spell and knocking a changeling out of the air, “Push for the Palace!”

Are you humans okay?

Snipes pushed himself to his feet, stumbling backwards a few steps like a drunk before falling on his ass. He gave a pained chuckle, “I’ve been worse,” he said.

Pike had finished losing his lunch and wiped his mouth, spitting to clear it as he got to wobbly legs, readying his rifle.

I apologize, but I couldn’t wait any longer.

“What the fuck did you do?” Redneck asked, getting slowly to his feet and squinting as his eyes readjusted from being torn apart and reassembled. He blinked them rapidly, as if he had water in them.

We’ve teleported to Canterlot, it’s under siege by the Changelings.

Celestia cast a quick spell to deflect an incoming blob of green, a golden light vaporizing the adhesive substance. The Royal Guards began to move out, each of them spread out so the changelings couldn’t get any multi-kills, or multi-sticks, with their attacks.

What you’re currently experiencing is teleportation sickness, I was unaware that you aren’t familiar with teleport spells. It should pass shortly, we’ll wait for you and then advance on the palace.

“Govno,” Holey muttered for what felt like the hundredth time that day, getting to his feet with the rest of the team, their heads starting to clear as their bodies readjusted.

“If you want to move up, you go ahead without us,” Redneck said, shaking his head and shouldering his automatic rifle, “We’ll be with you shortly,” he turned as the Princess began to advance with the Guard, stunning or expelling any of the changelings that got within range, “Snipes, find a roost and give us sniper support and updates on enemy movements, the rest of you follow me and open fire!”

Snipes drew his sidearm and rushed off into a side alley, the rest of the team following as Redneck pushed after the Princess. He raised his rifle, firing a burst at a flying changeling and causing the creature to jinc away from the hot lead.

And as if on cue, the changelings again took to the skies en masse, the airspace being filled almost instantaneously.

“Shit!” Pike exclaimed.

The three team members halted, dropping to their knees with their eyes and weapons skywards. Each began to fire into the mass of creatures as...again they retreated.

The massive black cloud flew up and away, moving off southwards from the city.

“Well that was easy,” Holey commented after a moment of silence.

“What?” Snipes’ voice came over their comlinks.

“Those things, Changelings, are retreating,” Redneck replied, watching as the group of Guards started to rejoice as they figured this out, cheers were shouted into the air, a few pegasi chasing the fleeing mass a bit longer than needed, “Meet back up with us.”

“For beers and burgers...on my way,” Snipes replied.

“Seems fishy, them just running like that,” Pike said, glancing around, “those things fought a lot harder when it was just Snipes, Spotter, and Holey, and there were a whole lot less of them back there.”

“I say: ‘don’t look a static target in the mouth,’” Snipes retorted, “If the enemy wants to be retarded, that just makes our jobs a whole lot easier.”

“Pike’s right,” Holey said, eyes scanning the streets with his rifle.

Redneck looked between the two, “Well keep an eye to the horizons, then. Never hurts to be prepared.”

“They didn’t return last time,” Snipes said, now close enough to not have to rely on his comlink, “I’d say that we’re pretty safe, maybe these ‘changeling’ things are inherently a bunch of pussies.”

“I’d say the evidence says otherwise,” Pike pointed out, gesturing around the city, “I don’t think that pussies have what it takes to fight a prolonged battle.”

“The locals don’t have guns,” Snipes retorted, hefting his own rifle for emphasis, “we do.”

“Whatever the case, just keep your eyes open. Until those things come back or something else comes up, we need to get that info off our black box,” Redneck cut in, he gestured for the others to follow and started towards the Princess and the Guards.

“And how, pray tell, do you intend on doing that?” Snipes asked as the quartet made their way over cobblestone streets, “ask for a nice computer and maybe some wireless internet while we’re at it? I wonder if their porn’s any good,” he muttered the last part to himself.

“What do you mean?” Redneck asked.

“Shit, he’s right. Our technology might not be compatible,” Pike answered, “sim or not, it’s not gonna be easy to get this info off of here without some decent equipment.”

The Guards were taking orders from their superiors, small groups rushing off as they were given them. They appeared to be in heightened spirits after the quick victory, a renewed vigor in their steps.

When the four approached the Princess, she was staring off at the Southern horizon, her keen gaze seeing the ever-retreating black cloud like no mortal creature could, “What are you up to, Chrysalis?” she murmured to herself with a small, contemplative scowl.

When she noticed the humans, she turned to them, igniting her horn and closing her eyes.

I suppose another thank you is in order, humans. I can’t imagine how long it might have taken without your aid.

“You’re welcome,” Redneck replied, scanning the skies, “So that’s the last of them?”

Celestia nodded.

Unless more of them decide to attack, which is unlikely, then yes.

“Glad to hear it,” Redneck said, he looked over his shoulder to Pike, “So what do we need to get that info off the black box?”

“That varies,” Pike said, letting his rifle hang by its strap and slipping the black box out of his pack and examining it, “Unfortunately for us, there’s no QAR on this thing, so we’re gonna need quite a bit more than a desktop computer. There’s specialized equipment that they use to get data off the FDR, CVR, and the SVR so...”

“English, motherfucker,” Snipes interrupted, “please start speaking it.”

“What?” Pike asked, turning to Snipes.

“I’d ask you to say that again, but that’d just be stupid,” Snipes said.

Pike raised an eyebrow, not sure exactly what to say.

“Layman’s terms,” Redneck put in, giving Snipes an annoyed look.

“Oh,” Pike said, turning back to Redneck and the Princess, “Sometimes these black boxes come with something called a Quick Access Recorder. As the name suggests, they’re used for quickly accessing some of the data that this thing records and in more recent years simply use a USB cable to connect to a computer.

“However, as this black box doesn’t have one, that option is eliminated. The three things that this does have, the Flight Data Recorder, Cockpit Voice Recorder, and Semi-active Visual Recorder, require specialized equipment that I don’t have.”

“So we’re fucked?” Holey asked.

Pike shook his head, “I more-or-less know how that specialized equipment works. Had to wipe data off a few Cessnas back before Harbingers. Give me enough time and supplies and I might, and only might, be able to get some of that data off,” he frowned in thought for a second, “Probably easiest to get the audio stuff, might be able to play it through our comlinks.”

I apologize if I sound ignorant, but what exactly are you talking about? Perhaps we don’t see in the same colors because that ‘black box’ looks more orange than black to me.

“It’s orange so it’s easier to find,” Pike explained, “they just call it a black box because it inputs, outputs, and transfers data without knowledge of the internal parts...or something like that.

“What it is, specifically,” Pike continued, approaching the Princess and holding the box closer to her, so she could see, before remembering that the princess was closing her eyes in concentration, “is a data storage device for our aircraft that brought us here. We assume that getting the data off of here is crucial to this simula...to, uh, finding out what went wrong and how we got here.”

“Still going on about this ‘sim’ shit,” Snipes muttered quietly.

“Shh,” Holey shushed.

I think I understand.

Celestia replied via thought-speak.

Though what kind of ‘aircraft’ are you talking about and how exactly did it bring you here? Is it an airship of some sort?

“We’re not at liberty to discuss those specifics,” Redneck cut in before Pike could speak, “Enough dicking around now. Pike, what do you need to get the audio files off of that thing? What do we have and what do we need?”

Pike thought for a moment, tapping one foot, “Well...”

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(Meanwhile)

“Sooo...” Dice began, cutting into the silence that had been plaguing the trio for a while now, “Where exactly are we going?”

Boss, in the lead, showed no sign of replying, trudging onwards with his hands clamped tight around his rifle and his skin clamped tight around his jaw. His boots crunched through bushes, his eyes not looking away from an unknown destination.

“Boss?” Dice tried again.

“We’re going to find our plane,” Boss replied through clenched teeth.

“And why might that be?” Dice asked.

Boss didn’t answer.

Dice looked back over his shoulder, exchanging a worried look with Spotter.

“Boss, we don’t know where that plane crashed. It could be anywhere from ten to a hundred kilometers away. Are you sure...”

“Damnit, Dice!” Boss growled, turning on his heel and glaring at the man, “Just let me occupy my fucking mind with something before I go batshit insane and lose it!” he glared for a few more seconds before turning back around and stomping off, “What in the name of fuck is going on here!?” he asked, more to himself than anyone else.

“If I may make a suggestion, sir,” Dice spoke up again, “perhaps we should find a place to set up a small FOB and go from there. That should take enough time to let you calm down after...well, everything that’s happened today.”

“Yeah,” Spotter put in, “Maybe we could check our maps and try to pinpoint where that plane went down before we go blindly looking for it.”

“We don’t have any maps, Spotter,” Boss reminded, coming to a stop and taking a deep breath, his shoulders sagging a bit as he released it, “Despite that, Dice is right. Let’s find a high point, those mountains we saw to the South earlier. We get up to a decent spot, maybe make a lean-to, and form a decent plan from there.”

“Maybe we should go back to where we were, the others might come back,” Spotter suggested as Boss headed off again.

“Fuck the others,” Boss replied.

“The sun’s getting closer to the horizon, are you sure that we want to be getting up someplace high like a mountain? These trees would do a better job of stopping the wind, keeping us a bit warmer,” Spotter tried again.

“We’re putting as much distance as possible from where we last were,” Boss growled, not looking back as he continued on his way, Dice right behind him.

Spotter paused for a second, looking back the way that they’d come. Looking back forwards, towards the two receding figures, he ejected a round from his rifle and quickly set it on the ground, pointing the way that they were going.

That done, he jogged forwards to catch up, disappearing into the brush.

A small black head poked around a tree, icy eyes glaring after the humans, black ears pointed forwards.

The changeling gestured for the others to follow, moving in after the humans.

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(Back in Canterlot)

“...and one of our comlinks,” Pike finished the list.

Had her eyes not been squeezed shut, Celestia would have blinked once in surprise.

That is...quite the list.

“Yeah,” Snipes agreed, “So maybe if you could point us in the direction of the local...hardware store or something? Maybe lend us a credit card. Oh, and don’t worry, my credit score’s good.”

Again, Celestia would have blinked once in surprise had she been able to.

“Just ignore him,” Redneck said, rolling his eyes, “So, can you help us or not?”

I’ll see what I can do, humans. Hopefully many of the things you seek will be found in Canterlot’s royal laboratories.

“Princess!”

Celestia opened her eyes, turning towards the voice. The humans, though unable to understand it, looked to the fast-approaching source.

Twilight Sparkle and the five other elements of harmony stopped before the princess, giving a quick bow. All six were clad with their respective element, and like the guards had seen battle if the few cuts, scrapes, small green blobs, and fatigue said anything.

“We came looking for you the second the changelings started to retreat!” Twilight panted, “What hap...”

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie, who are you guys?” Pinkie interrupted, suddenly next to Pike with a huge smile splitting her face.

Pike flinched at the spontaneous proximity, “What the hell?”

“Pinkie, what...” Twilight began to berate before spotting the humans as well. A curious gleam entered her widening eyes.

“I’ve got a feeling that either we’re about to either be eaten alive, worshipped as gods, given our fifteen minutes, or some combination of those three,” Snipes hypothesized.

“What in tarnation?” Applejack inquired, inspecting the humans with a wary eye, “who the hay are these...” she searched for a word, “...things?”

“More like ‘what are they?’” Rainbow Dash commented, hovering a bit closer to get a better look.

“Yes, maybe ‘what are they wearing?’” Rarity put in quietly, eyeing the human’s armor with a hint of distaste, “I hate to sound like a nag, but I don’t think they’re here to win any fashion shows.”

Fluttershy declined to say anything.

“They call themselves humans,” Celestia explained, getting everypony’s attention, “they say that they came here from quite a distance by accident via some sort of aircraft. As you may be able to imagine, they do not speak Equestrian.”

“Ooh!” Pinkie exclaimed, getting an idea, “Can we be, like, diplomats for them or something? I mean, since we’re the elements of harmony, maybe we could be the ones to show them around!” she gasped as she got another great idea, “I can help host the ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party!”

Celestia smiled at Pinkie’s enthusiasm, but said, “I’m afraid that that might be a bit of a problem, seeing as they do not speak our language.” before the pink pony could rush off.

“Princess!” Redneck spoke up, getting everyone’s attention. He waited for Celestia to begin her spell and continued, “I hate to kill your conversation, but how can you help us with the black box?”

Celestia nodded once.

Ah yes, I’ll see what some of my ponies can find. In the meantime, perhaps you four would wish to rest.

“Actually, it might be better if I went with whoever you were sending out to find what I need,” Pike reasoned.

Redneck nodded, “That and we should probably go back and get the others. Hopefully Boss’s had enough time to cool off.”

Your reasoning is sound, I shall send some ponies to collect your friends, as well then. One of you should probably accompany them.

“Two of us will,” Redneck replied, “Holey, you and I are going to go after the others. Snipes, you’re with Pike, go find what we need, okay?”

Pike nodded.

“Got it,” Holey replied.

“Okay, Pike. Let’s go dumpster diving with the locals!” Snipes said.

“Wait, so, excuse the interruption, Princess, but what exactly is going on? Who are these...humans? Why are they here? For what...”

“Do they like cake?” Pinkie inquired thoughtfully, “Or cupcakes? Ooh, or maybe pie? Or...or all three?”

“All will be explained in due time, my student,” Celestia replied, then to a nearby Guard, “Please prepare a small group for teleport to where we came from. Meet back here and include these two,” she indicated Redneck and Holey, “You are to locate the other three humans and bring them back.”

“Yes, your highness,” the Guard said, saluting and rushing off.

“Wait, so what’s goin’ on here?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah, is somepony lost or something?” Dash added.

“Oh...my, I hope not,” Fluttershy said quietly.

Celestia shook her head, “There are three more humans that we were forced to leave behind in the woods near Ponyville. Hopefully they remained where they were and finding them should be easy.”

“We can’t spare many ponies, Princess,” the Guard said, having returned with four others in tow, “Most of us are still in the middle of finishing up around here, searching for any hiding changelings and helping the civilians with search and rescue aid first aid, there’s still a lot of fires to put out and quite a few ponies are still missing.”

Celestia’s gaze met her soon-to-be setting sun, “For their sake I hope that they didn’t travel far, then.”

“We could always help, Princess,” Twilight offered, “my friends and I are from Ponyville after all, maybe we could help find these humans if things go South.”

‘...things go South,’ the words echoed in the Princess’ mind, her eyes turning that way for a moment, finding the changeling swarm gone from sight on the Southern horizon.

“I don’t see a problem with that...though I won’t need all six of you to go at once,” Celestia said, adding the last part quickly, glancing South again.

“I can go,” Rainbow Dash offered, “show these humans just how awesome we ponies can be!”

“I think that the word: ‘helpful’ would be a better choice than: ‘awesome’,” Applejack added sternly, then to the Princess, “you can count me in as well. Maybe Fluttershy can come along too, she can always ask any critters if they saw those humans go anywhere.”

Celestia gave a single nod of approval, “Very well, then,” she turned to the group of guards, “add these three elements to your teleportation spell as well as the two humans and cast when ready.”

Celestia closed her eyes and ignited her horn.

Prepare for another teleportation spell.

“Roger that, Princess,” Redneck said.

With a blast of magical energy, the guards, elements, and two of the humans disappeared.

“If you don’t mind me asking, Princess, what is that spell that you’re using to communicate with these humans?” Twilight asked curiously, “It might come in handy later on if they need to speak with us and you’re not around.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that, my student. I’m certain that they’ll wish to leave once they’ve found what they’re looking for and fix their black box,” Celestia replied, “the spell also requires much study and needs a great magical tenacity, far more than most mortals possess.”

“Oh,” Twilight said, ears drooping slightly.

“What’s wrong with their black box? More importantly, though, what type of black box is it?” Pinkie asked, “is it a lunchbox? With cake or something else yummy that’s now stuck inside?”

“Um, hey,” Pike cut in before Celestia could reply. The alicorn cast her translation spell again, “so what exactly can we do to start finding what I need to get the data off this?” Pike indicated the black box.

Ah yes, let me see.

“Might be a little hard to do that with her eyes closed,” Snipes commented, “why’s she always close her eyes anyways?”

I’m concentrating on the spell that I’m casting. I may be an alicorn, but this spell still requires a great amount of concentration to keep up.

Celestia replied.

“Oh,” Snipes replied, “wait, spell?”

Yes, Spell. Now, as to your predicament, please follow these three ponies, they’ll take you to where I hope you’ll be able to find most of what you’re looking for.

Celestia ended the spell, turning to Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie, “Seeing as how most of the Guard are busy, would you three mind showing these humans to the royal laboratories?” Twilight’s eyes lit up at the word, “They are looking for a list of different mechanical utilities and I believe that that is the best place to start.

“You should only have to lead them there and tell anypony present that they are to cooperate and let the humans borrow what they need. If you should need me, I’m currently going to consult with my sister and your brother on what course of action to take now that the changelings have retreated.”

“Yes, I’d love to!” Twilight exclaimed, then calming her voice at the odd looks she got, “I mean, it would be my pleasure to show them to the royal laboratories.”

Celestia nodded and unfolded her wings, “I leave our guests in trusted hooves then,” before crouching and leaping up into the air, headed towards the palace with an entourage of pegasi Royal Guard flocking after her.

Author's Note

Short chapter is short, blame Peace this time for going on a pony hiatus and being slower than usual. Continue for word thingies.
PS, Interactive pony is best pony.
(I caught the interactive pony and put her there, catching interactive pony is best pastime fun thing to do).

-QAR: Quick Access Recorder. As Pike put it, a thingamabob that lets you get some data off a black box through simpler means.

-FDR: Flight Data Recorder: Another part of the black box, this one records different instrument and data readings.

-CVR: Cockpit Voice Recorder. An audio recording thingy that records the pilots' voices and sounds in the cockpit.

-SVR: Semi-active Visual Recorder. This one is (at this point in time) fictional, and is used to record visual stuffs in the cockpit like the instruments on the dashboard and the pilots themselves.

As a final thing, I was listening to this song when I came up with the title of this chapter.