Brutal Negotiations

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To put it lightly, Boss’ head hurt...a lot.

“Mother fucker...” Boss mumbled, squinting against the pain, “did I get shitfaced with the other guys or something?” he tried to bring up a hand to rub his head, only to find it held down by something, “what the?” he turned his eyes downwards, his blurry vision clearing.

“You get shitfaced?” Spotter asked, making Boss realize that he wasn’t alone and was still on a mission. In an instant, everything came flooding back, reminding him of the situation.

“Fuck! Where are we!?” Boss asked, struggling as he opened his eyes, looking around.

“Beats me,” Dice grumbled, “those black things jumped me as I was cutting Spotter loose, and the next thing I know, I wake up here with one mother fucker of a headache,” he looked between the two others, being in the middle of their trio, “seems the same thing happened with you guys.”

“Shit, so what? Those black things captured us?” Boss reasoned, looking around. He and the others were all stuck in place by some greenish-black cocoons that reached up to their necks, the interiors of the cocoon felt mushy and thick, though not heavy enough to hamper breathing.

The room around them had one entrance and was entirely black, a few phosphorescent veins ran across the ceiling in a natural looking way. The three were dispersed in a row, more or less all facing the entrance. A constant dripping sound echoed from some far off place.

Boss noted with a sense of unease that all of their weapons were gone, their helmets also missing from the room.

“Looks like it,” Spotter grumbled, glaring unhappily around him, “fucking Snipes. Had to go and start shooting at whatever the fuck these things are. Perfect first contact scenario! Absolutely perfect!”

“As I recall,” Boss replied evenly, ignoring the argument about whether or not their current situation was real, “you and Holey opened fire as well.”

“Yeah,” Spotter admitted, trying to turn himself to get a better look at Boss, but finding himself unable due to his predicament, “but that’s only because they were going after him. An asshole he may be, but I’m not going to leave him to the buzzards,” his frown deepened, “hell knows he’d have done the same for me.”

Before Boss could reply, a loud clacking sound disconnected from the constant dripping, the sound of hooves trotting over stone. All eyes went to the single entrance, varying feelings of unease and anger flowing amongst the three.

And along came Queen Chrysalis. Her mane, tail, and gossamer wings looked disheveled, her eyes bore a half-hidden fatigue, and her limbs were still filled with holes.

“I hear that you don’t understand this language,” she said, gaze sliding between the three faces as she stopped in the middle of the room, two smaller changelings flanking her.

“Ugh, jesus, these things never learn,” Spotter muttered to himself before turning up the volume for the changeling Queen, “We don’t speak your language!”

Chrysalis turned her gaze to him and he flinched as she started to come forwards. Her horn began to glow with a magical, green light as she approached the human.

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No! I didn’t mean anything!” Spotter exclaimed as, approaching, Chrysalis lowered her horn to his forehead’s level, not stopping her slow-but-steady approach.

“Hey, what’re you doing, black thing?” Dice yelled warningly to Chrysalis, “don’t you fucking do it!”

“Guys! Help!” Spotter called out as the changeling queen drew ever closer to him, eyes unfaltering as he tried to squirm away.

“Trying! Can’t!” Boss growled as he tried to force his way out of his binding shell, Dice trying to do the same. Both soldiers struggled, exertion showing on their faces as they tried to force their cocoons open to no avail.

“Gah! It’s going to fucking stab me!” Spotter yelled, squirming, “No! No! Please, please, no!”

“Get away from him, you asshole!” Boss yelled.

Chrysalis’ horn made contact, diving right into Spotter’s skull like a knife through butter. His and Chrysalis’ eyes grew wide as a pain drove itself like a chisel into Spotter’s skull.

He would have screamed, but a sudden mental connection to Chrysalis overloaded his brain. His jaw fell open in a dumbfounded look, his eyes a million miles away from the sensory overload. In an instant he could feel the other creature’s mind. Raw emotion berated him, a mixture of anger, rage, desperation, sadness, fear...and a single spark of hope.

Chrysalis, after the mere second she needed to do what she desired, pulled back, clenching her jaw and squeezing her eyes shut. She placed a hoof to her head as if struck by a sudden, intense headache. Beside her, both changelings flinched as well. Spotter gasped, his mind still reeling.

“You sack of shit!” Boss roared at the changeling, trying to lunge towards the Queen, “I’ll kill you!”

Spotter wore a dazed expression on his face, staring off into nothingness for a few seconds before blinking a few times.

“What in the name of…did I just get mind raped?” Spotter asked himself.

“Wait, Spotter?” Boss asked, turning his raging gaze from Chrysalis to Spotter, noting that the teammate was not, in fact, dead.

“You alright, Spotter? What the hell just happened?” Dice asked, glancing from the recovering Chrysalis to Spotter and back.

Spotter opened his mouth to speak, but something else beat him to it.

“Now, which among you is the leader?” Chrysalis asked in flawless English.

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(Canterlot)

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Thank you. Now, let us discuss the next course of action more reasonably. My species has dealt with the changeling menace before, rest assured, we know what we’re doing, your people are in good hooves.

Redneck, still upset, looked to the Princess, “But you don’t understand our language! How do you expect to communicate what’s going on to my men? You need us there.”

A fair enough claim, I suppose. If any of you wish to go, you may. However, I must ask that any of you going relinquish your weapons for the duration of the mission.

Snipes chuckled, getting annoyed eyes from the other three humans in the room.

“Don’t you say a word,” Redneck glowered, turning at the sound of the laugh with a face laden with sudden anger.

Snipes, smiling, gave a nod and gestured for Redneck to continue.

“Apologies, princess, but where we go, so do our weapons,” Redneck replied as he turned back to the princess, getting a pair of rolled eyes from Snipes.

Celestia frowned.

Then I must ask that you remain here.

“In spite of the fact that the language barrier here is going to make it all that much harder to rescue them,” Redneck continued, anger still noticeable on his face and in his tense stance.

Yes, in spite of that fact. I’ve witnessed what your weapons are capable of and I do not want them being used in my country or in any way that may affect my people. The fact that I let you hold onto them is only forced by the fact that I do not understand how they work or how they may be turned off.

A noticeable redness filled Redneck’s face. He took a step forwards, opening his mouth and pointing an angry finger to reply, before Holey stepped in.

“Whoa, there. Let’s not get over-agitated by the poorly-worded princess,” he began, setting a hand on his superior’s shoulder before turning to Celestia, “Princess, that’s a very delicate topic to bring up.”

I don’t see how that’s...

“Drop it,” Redneck growled with a deathly glare, stopping Celestia mid-thought speech.

“That’s no way to talk to the princess,” Twilight muttered to herself, Luna still translating the conversation to her and Rarity in the background.

Fine. Though I retain the request that if you wish to go on this mission that you do not bring your weapons with you. Such is my request if you wish to go along. Do not forget that you’re in my country, my rules apply here.

“Look, if that’s the way it’s gotta be, then fine,” Snipes said, “I’ll go with them. I’ve got no problem letting someone babysit Sep and my sidearm for a bit.”

Sep?

“Not important,” Redneck growled before turning to Snipes, “No, you aren’t going anywhere. Especially not anywhere near Boss for the time being,” Redneck turned back to Celestia, “none of us are going anywhere without our weapons, we don’t know this land at all and I’m not willing to let something get the better of me just because I’m not armed. We’ve already lost three men, I’m not losing any more because they can’t fucking defend themselves.”

Resorting to petty cuss words is not going to get you anything, Redneck.

“Yeah? Well neither is playing nice, it seems,” Redneck countered.

The Princess’ face grew into an annoyed look, her eyes ever-closed as she remained in deep concentration.

Is there no way for you to set your weapons from kill to stun?

“No,” Redneck replied, shuffling his feet to take a more comfortable stance, “we can aim for less-lethal areas, but that’s about it.”

Then I must ask that you remain here. For the duration of your stay...however long that may be.

“Well,” Snipes said, clapping his hands together, “that’s that, then. Can we please finish up with this god-awfully boring argument and get on with our lives?” he looked around at his comrades.

“I would, but that’d mean going after the others,” Redneck replied through gritted teeth, turning to Snipes, “something that this high-horse doesn’t want us doing for no good reason.”

Another flicker of annoyance flashed across Celestia’s face.

No good reason? Ours is a land of peace and harmony and you and your tools of death threaten that peace and harmony. I will not have you influence my people with your barbaric methods!

“Oh really?” Redneck turned back to Celestia, growing anger in his voice, “so you call being at war with those changelings a perfect picture of peace and harmony? Hell, if that’s the case then I’d like to see what you call war and chaos!”

Celestia’s frown deepened, her brow furrowing in mild anger.

You came to our nation at a bad time.

“Yeah, no shit!” Redneck spat, “And another thing! You seemed pretty okay with the idea of us helping out retaking this damn castle place not two hours ago with guns blazing! What the hell happened that now makes us abso-fucking-lete?”

I thought it was necessary at that point, desperation clouded my judgement. We now have the upper hoof over our enemies and my desperation has led to logic and your barbaric measures are no longer needed.

“Well ain’t that just perfect!” Redneck growled, jabbing a finger towards the princess, “once you’re through wiping you just throw us in the shitter and flush us down with the rest of the shit! You fucking…” he sputtered for a moment, searching for a decent word, “...tyrant!”

“This is getting way out of control,” Holey muttered to himself.

Now it was Celestia’s turn to look enraged. She took a menacing step forwards. When she spoke again, her mental voice had raised a few notches. Redneck half-raised his rifle, the other soldiers tensing up.

I WILL NOT BE INSULTED IN MY OWN THRONE ROOM! SO LONG AS YOU REMAIN IN MY KINGDOM YOU WILL DO SO AS VISITORS AND FOLLOW MY LAWS OR SO HELP ME I WILL BANISH ALL OF YOU TO THE SUN!

Her horn’s golden glow grew brighter as she took another step forwards.

“Back off!” Redneck yelled, raising his rifle as he retreated a step, “or so help me..!”

“Whoa!” Holey exclaimed, running to the spot between the angry princess and human, “Let’s everybody calm down here. Tensions are high, I know, but let’s just…”

“Out of the fucking way, Holey!” Redneck growled, eyes aflame with rage.

“Reddy, seriously, back the fuck off now,” Snipes cut in, drawing his sidearm on his superior officer, his tone suddenly dead serious.

Redneck turned his head to the Sniper, leaving his rifle trained on the princess, “The fuck? Put it down, Snipes, I’m warning you.”

“I’m warning you, dickhead,” Snipes retorted, not lowering his handgun.

“Seriously..?” Holey put in, Pike backing away in silence, clutching the black box to his chest as if to shield it.

BOTH OF YOU LOWER YOUR WEAPONS!

SISTER-

Luna began, only to be interrupted.

“With all due respect, Princess,” Redneck began, turning his head back to Celestia, “which is none, shut the fuck up!”

“Guys..!” Holey tried again, more loudly this time.

“Yeah, listen to the bible-humping skinhead,” Snipes said to the Princess, tone still no bullshit, his eyes deadly serious, “you aren’t helping this much.”

“Fine...dumb motherfuckers,” Holey growled quietly to himself, as he knelt down, digging through his rucksack.

“Fuck you, Snipes! What the-”

“May I have your fucking attention!” Holey yelled, drawing all eyes to him. He stood back up, hands spread out as if he were going to be crucified. In one hand he held the green orb of a hand grenade. In the other...a pin.

The room grew silent.

“We,” Holey began, his voice calm and quiet. He spoke slowly, looking from Snipes, to Redneck, and the Princess, “are going to play the quiet game. Or so help me I’m going to kill everyone in this room,” he looked back over the three once more, “Okay?”

“I lose!” Snipes called out, some of his serious tone dying.

Holey glared over at the sniper and Snipes drew his fingers across his mouth as if he were zipping it shut.

“Who the fuck gave you the-” Redneck began.

“Quiet,” Holey interrupted.

“I know you aren’t going to drop it, Holey. Stand down,” Redneck ordered, though most of the redness had died from his face, a hint of doubt in his voice.

“Oh really?” Holey inquired, a mock-inquisitive look on his face, “I’m still of the mind that this is a simulation and that if we die here then we just wake up in a big metal cylinder with a bunch of wires attached to our skull.

“The worst thing that’s going to happen is I’m going to get marked down for something stupid. If you’re so sure, then just say something,” Holey looked at his superior more pointedly, “just one more thing, Redneck.”

Again silence fell over the room. Redneck opened his mouth to say something, Holey tightened his glare at him.

Redneck remained silent, closing his mouth, his weapon lowering shortly thereafter.

“And if you’re wondering, Princess,” Holey looked back over his shoulder at the alicorn, “this is an M sixty-seven grenade. If I drop this, it’s going to kill everyone in this room,” he turned back to Redneck and Snipes, “just to dispel any doubt.

“Now, I want everyone in this room to lower their weapons and calm down before we proceed. All this ear and mind splitting yelling is giving me a goddamned headache and is getting us nowhere. More shit than we ever dreamed we’d ever face is happening and no one is hunky-dory. We’re all on fuses shorter than the one that I hold in my hand and if we start exploding, everyone’s going to end up just as fucked as if I drop this grenade.”

The room stood dead still. Celestia remained with a glare where she stood, eyes squeezed shut and horn aglow with light. Redneck’s glare had faded and his weapon was raised, but slightly off target now. Snipes still had his handgun raised, but the seriousness had died from his face.

A click startled everyone as Snipes hit his handgun’s decocker, dropping the hammer without setting off a round. He lowered the weapon and slid it back into its holster, letting his arms hang loosely by his sides.

Redneck turned his gaze to the Princess, hesitating a moment before lowering his rifle and taking his finger off the trigger.

The Princess’ face remained fixed in a glare as she stood where she was, two aggressive steps towards Redneck.

“Please take a couple steps back, Princess,” Holey requested. The Princess flinched at the words, her glare deflating part way before she took two steps back, “Thank you. Now, I’m finding this whole ordeal to be boring as all hell so why don’t we all just take a five minute break and get all of our arguments settled, alright? Plus, this grenade is getting heavy and I’d like to put the pin back in now.”

“Okay, fine, Holey’s right. Everyone’s PMSing and we need to all take a quick tampon break. Let’s go!” Snipes said, gesturing to the door and leading the way.

“Thank you, Snipes,” Holey said, turning to Redneck, “after you, sir.”

Redneck spared Holey a quick glare, but complied with a, “I’ll be back, Princess.”

Celestia remained silent as Holey slid the pin back into the grenade, tossing it casually form one hand to the other as he followed the others out of the throne room. Pike hesitated a moment before following after Holey, leaving the ponies to themselves.

“What the hay is a tampon break?” Twilight inquired to no one in particular.

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(Unknown location)

“You...you can talk?” Spotter asked, breaking the silence. The other two continued to give the creature nothing but jaw-dropped looks.

Chrysalis regarded them for a moment before speaking again, “I could always talk. It was your dialect that was simply unknown to me. So I pulled it from your mind,” Chrysalis replied, taking another step towards Spotter, making him flinch as she eyed him up and down, “Don’t worry about any precious secrets within that skull of yours, though. I left everything else untouched as per law.

“But enough idle chit-chat. Tell me...are you the leader of your group?”

“No, that’d be me,” Boss spoke up, finally finding his voice, “and...and as such I ask that you release us at once. There’s been a misunderstanding that we need to clear up.”

“Pulled it from my mind?” Spotter wondered to himself, ignored by the others.

“Oh really?” Chrysalis asked, turning to the darker skinned of the three humans, she examined him glaringly with greenish-blue eyes, “do explain, then.”

“Earlier today, some of my men went against my orders and opened fire on what I assume are your people. I do not know what made them do it, but I assure you that it was against my orders,” Boss explained, trying to adjust himself within his cocoon-like prison.

“Really, now?” Chrysalis inquired, pressing her face closer to Boss’ own, a flash of anger lighting her face. Boss didn’t flinch as he tried to keep his face neutral in spite of everything, “and was it also against your orders when you ‘opened fire’ on us not an hour ago?”

Boss met her angry look with one of his own, “Your people attacked us first in that case-”

“After you had provoked us,” Chrysalis cut in as she pulled back, turning her back on him an examining a hole-filled hoof with downcast eyes, “making that action wholly legitimate.”

“Except that my men went against my orders in firing on your people!” Boss retorted with a growl, again struggling temporarily to escape from his entrapment, “they acted as their own party!”

Chrysalis pondered a moment, lowering her hoof to the floor and tapping it for a few short seconds before turning back around to face Boss, “Fair enough...to a degree,”

“To a degree!? No! Not to a-” Boss was again interrupted.

“In any case!” Chrysalis interrupted again, once more stepping closer and giving his trapped form a slow once-over, “you are in no position to dictate terms to me. If you want your freedom then there’s one thing that I need from you first.”

“And what’s that?” Boss asked with a growl.

“Your weapons,” Chrysalis began, a smile crossed her face as she leaned in closer, “you must show me how to use them…”

Author's Note

Sorry it took so long. I got bored and started writing other things and then Peace was doing other things and couldn't help me with his stupid characters. Anyways, here's the words of the week!

-M67 Grenade: pull the pin and release the safety clip, wait a couple seconds, and it goes boom and kills people.

-Decocker: sets the firearm into a double action mode where a longer trigger pull is needed to fire a round. Doesn't make the weapon uber-safe, but does make it safer than if the hammer's up and ready to drop.

And that's it. Shit's hit the fan and now it's going down!