Note: This chapter was written for April Fools Day. None of the events in this chapter are canon to the Essence story.

Vinyl panted, resting her head against the side of the elevator and stealing a glance at Octavia. The grey pony was equally exhausted. Vinyl figured that anypony would be winded when they ran three Manehatten blocks to escape a crazed mare.

“Safe.” Vinyl gasped. “We’re safe.”

As if on cue, hooves slammed against the outside of the elevator doors, echoing in the tiny space and causing both ponies to flinch.

“Oh no you don’t! Get the buck out here!” Bon-Bon’s voice carried loud and clear through the metal.

“Vinyl?” Octy gasped, a hoof holding the stitch in her side.

“Yeah Octy?”

“Push the button.”

Vinyl mashed a hoof against the penthouse floor button, letting the elevator rattle to life and carry them up towards their penthouse.

“Well.” Vinyl said, straightening her glasses. “That went good.”

Octavia simply glared, and Vinyl wondered if she was too exhausted to remark on Vinyl’s nonchalant attitude or bastardization of grammar. Vinyl gave a forced grin in response before sitting down on her flank.

“Was the food good?”

Another glare. Vinyl decided that she might as well sink instead of swim. It wasn't like her life hadn't become remarkably complicated as of late.

“C’mon, ya gotta admit it was kinda funny, right? I mean, what are the odds?”

The elevator bell gave a ring as the doors shuddered open to the penthouse. Vinyl trotted off into the hallway, ignoring the pain in her own sides. “I know what’ll make it better. Tea, right?”

Octavia gave a grudging nod and pulled herself to her hooves, letting out a soft groan as she did so.

Vinyl threw out a leg, catching Octavia in the chest and knocking her down onto her flank again. Octavia opened her mouth to reply, but Vinyl pressed her hoof against her mouth while holding the other up to her lips.

“Octy!” Vinyl whispered. “Listen!”

They both went quiet. Octy’s ears perked up and Vinyl knew that she could hear it too. A low muttering. Somepony else was in the penthouse. Vinyl caught Octavia’s gaze. Her eyes were wide, matching Vinyl’s expression hidden under her glasses.

There was the sound of magic on the air next.

A unicorn! Some unicorn is here and stealing our stuff! Vinyl thought to herself, doing a mental inventory of her equipment and records. A familiar sound broke her from her thoughts. Vinyl knew the sound well. A heavy thunk on wood. That was a bottle. A lighter thunk. A shot glass.

Vinyl gave Octavia another shushing gesture, before they gently moved forward to peer into the living room. The light were off, but there was enough daylight shining through the terrace windows to illuminate...herself.

Vinyl Scratch paced the living room, not even paying attention to her magic as the levitated bottle poured another shot. Every so often she would close her eyes and look towards the empty couch.

“I’ll be right there.” The other Vinyl said, levitating the shot to her lips and downing it before slapping it back on the table. Vinyl and Octavia shared a confused look.

“You? But you’re...”

Vinyl shushed her again and turned towards the strange sight, feeling a pang of jealousy that this imposter could display her eyes so openly.

Vinyl hopped up on the couch, a grim and disturbed expression on her face. From their position, crouched on either side of the doorway, they could see that this Vinyl Scratch was crying softly.

“Th-Thanks Octy...” She said softly, raising a hoof to trail down empty air.

Octavia looked at Vinyl, raising an eyebrow before turning back to the sight.

“Yeah. Yeah. I know. Thanks.”

Vinyl blushed suddenly, as the Vinyl on the couch seemed to kiss the air. Sure, it wasn’t really her, but...it looked painfully awkward to see herself doing that. It was embarrassing. Before she knew what she was doing, Vinyl jumped up from her crouching position and moved into the living room.

“Alright you. Who are you?” She said loudly, hoping to startle the intruder.

Instead, the Vinyl on the couch simply turned her head towards her. “I’m seeing myself now. That’s new. Go away, We're having a moment.”

Vinyl turned towards Octavia, motioning her in before turning back to her doppleganger.. “Hey, this is my penthouse!”

“Our penthouse.” Octavia corrected, standing next to Vinyl.

The Vinyl on the couch stood up almost reluctantly. “Another one. I’m tired of this.” She turned to the couch. “I’m sorry. I can’t take this anymore.”

The Vinyl paid them no attention even as she pushed between them muttering under her breath as she wandered off towards the bedrooms.

“Pills?” Octavia wondered aloud. “What was she...er....you talking about?”

Vinyl considered for a moment. “I...I don’t have a clue. You...you did see that, right?”

“I did.” Octavia shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t understand it, however.”

Vinyl opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the gentle sound of a cello.

“Is she playing my cello?” Octavia asked, turning towards the bedrooms.

“It’s coming from the terrace...”

“No, it’s coming from the bedroom!” Octavia practically growled.

Vinyl tilted her head listening to the soft notes. “It’s....both.”

“How? Vinyl, I only have one cello!”

“Yeah, and I only have one of me!” Vinyl shouted in response.

Octavia went silent as she too listened to the music. Her eyes flew open wide. “I...I think you’re right!”

“Lets split up. You go check the bedroom.” Vinyl said, turning towards the doors to the terrace. “I’ll check out there.”

Octavia nodded, and headed towards the bedrooms. Vinyl steeled her nerves, and pushed the terrace doors open.

==========

The music grew louder as Octavia approached her bedroom door. She didn’t see the other Vinyl anywhere, for which she was glad. Whoever that was, it seemed that any conversation with her would be the epitome of awkward.

Octavia’s door was open just a crack, letting the music escape. It sounded delightful, albeit a bit...dark. She recognized the piece; Elegie in C Minor, op. 24. It was up to her standards, that was for certain. Her hoof trembled as she reached for the door. Was she about to meet an imposter of herself? She eased the door open.

Was this what Vinyl felt when she was watching herself?

Another Octavia sat on the bed, a cello in her hooves, guiding the bow across the strings in a smooth, practiced motion that Octavia recognized as her own. Octavia gently sat in the doorway with her eyes closed, unable to help but listen to it. She had never heard her own skill with the cello like this before, on the outside looking in. Suddenly, the music ceased.

“Look at this, dear Vinyl. I have an audience.”

Octavia opened her eyes, almost cringing at herself. She may have shared her talent with the cello, but Octavia hoped to Celestia that such an expression would never cross her face. There was an unmistakable air of cruelty in this mare, something sinister.

“Vinyl?” Octavia asked, looking around the room, before her hooves moved to cover her mouth.

Vinyl was propped against the wall, her eyes open yet unable to focus. Her body was limp, letting out shuddering pants without moving anything but her chest.

“Oh, don’t mind her.” The other Octavia said with a smirk. She leaned down to draw her hooves across Vinyl’s body, who let out a guttural groan and pushed herself against her. “She always gets this way when she listens to my music. And when she has a taste of my special medicine.”

Vinyl let out a pleasured groan as the Octavia guided her hoof down between Vinyl’s thighs, before leaning in for a kiss.

Octavia slammed the door, eyes wide. What was going on here?

==========

The sun illuminated the terrace, and while Vinyl could hear the notes of a cello, she couldn’t see their source. The song sounded...sad, somehow. And close. But the rooftop garden was empty. She turned to look back towards the house. She had once wired a speaker system to play music on the terrace, but she was certain she had taken it down.

Vinyl turned again and jumped in surprise. There, not ten feet away, was Octavia. She was sitting on the grass, drawing her bow across the cello strings in a melancholy melody. Then Vinyl’s heart sank.

In front of Octavia was a gravestone; white marble, inlaid with a golden record. A vinyl record. And Octavia was playing for it, while tears ran down her fur. Vinyl sat and stared at the sight, feeling the type of reverence one can only feel while they are staring at their own grave.

Vinyl had never been one for classical music, but this song burrowed into her soul. The sadness contained in the notes was contagious. She sniffed.

The notes trailed off slowly as Octavia turned around. Her eyes were bloodshot from the tears, but they grew brighter as they fell on Vinyl. She looked back and forth between the gravestone and Vinyl.

The cello fell forgotten to the grass as Octavia slowly walked forward. “Vinyl...are you...real?”

Uh-oh. That’s a dangerous question and a half.

“Well...” Vinyl said slowly. “Yeah. I mean, something strange is-”

Octavia reached out and touched her, her hooves on her shoulders, feeling her. Her eyes sprang with tears and she dove forward, legs tightening in a hug that nearly squeezed the life from her. Octavia sobbed against her.

“You’re here! You’re really here!” She choked out between sobs, nuzzling into Vinyl’s white fur.

“Oc-ty!” Vinyl gasped. “Can’t-”

The new Octavia was kissing her neck, trailing upwards. Kissing over her throat. Kissing over her chin.

Uh-oh.

“Octy! No, Octy!” Vinyl shouted, turning her head away to avoid a kiss on the lips. “Trust me! Bad idea! Bad idea!”

“I never told you, Vinyl! I love you! Please...I’m sorry! Forgive me!”

Vinyl blushed and pulled her body, squeezing out of the embrace. Octavia dove forward, tears still flowing, to wrap around Vinyl’s hind leg, nuzzling against her cutie mark.

“Bad touch! Bad touch!” Vinyl blushed, trying to pull out of Octavia’s grip and run towards the house. “Helllllp!”

==========

Octavia slowly backed away from the bedroom door as sounds of pleasure snuck through the wood. She gave a shudder at what her other self was doing. With Vinyl. On her bed.

She needed to find Vinyl. The real Vinyl. Not one that was drugged out of reality or talking to the air. She galloped down the hallway, stopping when she saw Vinyl in the kitchen.

“Vinyl! I...” Her voice trailed off in shock.

This Vinyl had a thick black collar around her neck, a leash leading from it to the leg of the kitchen table. There was a wide open gash in her leg, dripping blood into a wineglass that was already half full. Octavia repressed a gag, staring at the wineglass.

“Shouldn’t be long.” Vinyl said, her voice trembling.

“Wh...what...are you...doing?” Octavia said, her mouth dry.

“I’m...feeding you...?” Vinyl said, her hoof dripping blood onto the kitchen floor as she extended the wineglass towards her. Octavia tried to back into the hallway, but was pushed forward suddenly as another Octavia entered the room.

“Certainly you didn’t confuse me for this cheap imitation?” The new Octavia said, flashing a smile...if it could be called that. It was hardly noticeable. Octavia felt a chill as she looked at this iteration of herself. And the look in her eyes, giving a sniff at the air and looking at Vinyl’s cut hoof.

There was a sudden crash as Vinyl pulled herself into the kitchen, dragging an Octavia along with her, stopping to stare at the two Octavias. “Do either of you two know why I can’t take off my glasses? Because if so, bucking help me!”

Octavia had never been so glad to know that she was a succubus. She ran forward, wrestling the tearful Octavia off of her leg. She gave her a shove out of the kitchen. “Vinyl! Did you find anything out? Vinyl?”

Vinyl was staring at the emotionless Octavia, transfixed. Octavia followed her gaze, feeling bile rise up her throat as she drank greedily from the wineglass, the leash of the collared Vinyl wrapped around her other hoof.

“Wow. Hardcore, Octy.” Vinyl said with a halfhearted smirk.

Octavia gagged again. She was going to be sick. She sprinted back into the hallway. She needed to get to the bathroom.

“Octy, wait! Don’t leave me alone with the crazy ones!” Vinyl shouted after her.

Octavia nearly dove into the bathroom, eyes on the toilet. She tripped over something, but ignored it for now as she grasped the sides of the bowl with both hooves.

==========

The blood-drinking Octavia had dropped the wineglass to the floor, moving to stand between the door and the real Vinyl. The Vinyl with the collar had gone quiet, offering her leg to Octavia. She trailed her tongue along the cut in her leg, all the while staring at the real Vinyl.

“I could always stand to have another blood slave.” She said in between laps, with a creepy not-quite-a-smile. “I’m willing to bet your blood is every bit as wonderful as hers...” Octavia gave a tug on the leash to make her point.

Vinyl wanted to feel afraid. She certainly thought it was the logical thing to do. Yet, she could sense something in her. She grinned.

“I can feel that. You’re one lust-filled mare, ain't ya?”

Octavia’s eyes narrowed, dropping the hoof and pushing her blood slave away. “I will eat you alive if you push me.”

“Now, why would I do that? Here, allow me.” Vinyl reached out towards herself, the one with the collar, and pulled her towards her, giving her a gentle lick across her face.

Blood slave Vinyl shivered, her eyes rolled up in her head, and her hooves went weak, collapsing under her. Vinyl smirked at Octavia.

“And you wouldn’t believe what I can do when I take off my glasses.” Vinyl grinned.

Octavia looked at the panting puddle of Vinyl on the floor.

“Gonna stop me now?” Vinyl grinned. Octavia simply shrugged, and reached down to pull blood slave Vinyl to her hooves.

“Didn’t think so.” She said, and once she was past her, bolted down the hallway.

Vinyl simply followed the retches. She could hear somepony, and she had a very good idea of exactly what pony, throwing up in the bathroom.

“You alright Oct-Oh for buck’s sake, again!?”

Octavia lifted her head up. “I’ll...be fine...” She panted. “What are you looking...oh.”

Both of them looked on the floor, at another Vinyl. This one wasn’t moving.

“I...I think I tripped over you.”

“Why am I dead again?” Vinyl said, rubbing her forehead with her hoof.

“Again?”

“Gravestone on the terrace. Don’t ask.”

“Oh.” Octavia said, closing her eyes and trying to block out the dead Vinyl.

“Just...step around me this time. C’mon. Mind the dead, Octy.”

Octavia gently stepped around Vinyl, before stopping and looking down. “You’ve got something here.”

Octavia reached down and pulled a piece of paper from Vinyl’s hoof, looking at it. “Oh. Oh. Well. This is awkward.”

Octavia stepped out into the hallway, still contemplating it. Vinyl leaned over her shoulder, looking at it. A picture of Octavia, holding her bow. Octavia’s name in Octavia’s handwriting was at the bottom corner.

“Oh. Ooooh.”

Both of them looked back at the body.

“Awkward.” They both said at once.

Octavia coughed and set the picture aside. Vinyl looked around for a change of subject, blushing as she faced Octavia’s bedroom door. She could sense the rampant lust in that direction. She turned back towards Octavia.

“Don’t ask.” She said quickly.

“I’m getting sick of this!” Vinyl growled, pounding on the bedroom door. “That’s it! All of us! Out in the living room! Now!”

Vinyl realized that she was staring at the door. “I am going to turn around, and something strange is going to have happened. Right?”

Octavia didn’t answer. Vinyl sighed and turned around.

Octavia was sitting down, a dreamy, distant look on her face. A pair of headphones were clamped over her ears, held in place by a grinning Vinyl. Behind them both, there was another Octavia.

Oh. Oh my. Kinky.

This new Octavia looked at both Vinyls with a look of adoration. A black saddle was strapped over her back, and a collar was locked around her neck, with a silver heart-shaped tag with the word ‘Tavi’ engraved on it.

Well. She looks happy.

“Two are better than one!” The Vinyl said happily, eyeing the real Vinyl. “You wanna get in on these two?”

Vinyl gave an irritated sigh and lowered her glasses.

The other Vinyl locked eyes with her, letting out a shuddering gasp and left Octavia, moving towards Vinyl. She put her glasses back in place and pushed her behind her.

“Mind if I borrow this one?”

Vinyl turned around again, seeing a smirking Octavia peeking out from the bedroom, a syringe in her hoof.

“I’ll give her some special medicine. She won’t trouble you again.”

Vinyl stared. “Living room. Now.”

She pulled the headphones off of Octavia, letting them drop. “You okay?”

Octavia gave her a dreamy smile. Vinyl smacked her. “C’mon, Tavi. Snap out of it. Go and gather all of us up. In the living room.”

“Yes Vinyl!” The saddle-wearing Octavia said happily.

“I wasn’t....buck. Yeah. Go do that.”

==========

Ten minutes later, the living room was filled with a variety of Octavias and Vinyls. “Alright, Everypony! Listen up! Everypony is getting a number! Except for me and Octy here, since this is our penthouse!”

Octavia handed Vinyl a permanent marker, with one for herself. “Can you handle the Vinyls? I’ll handle...well. Me?”

“Gotcha.” Vinyl said, uncapping the marker and levitating it with magic.

Vinyl and Octavia went down the line, drawing big numbers on each of their chests.

“What about her?” Vinyl #2 said, pointing to an empty spot in the line of Octavias. “She didn’t get a number.”

Vinyl ignored her. “Do we got them all, Tavi?”

“I think we’re missing one. The vampire me.”

“I’m over here!” She said, wandering into the lineup with the dead Vinyl thrown over her back. “Mind if I borrow your fridge? I don’t want her to spoil.”

Octavia pulled the dead Vinyl off of her, tossing her unceremoniously into the line of Vinyls. Octavia drew the number five on her chest for good measure. Vinyl drew a big number four on the vampire Octavia.

“Alright!” Vinyl shouted. “Is that everypony?”

“Up here! Up heeere!” Vinyl’s voice came, carrying down the stairs from their studio.

Vinyl contemplated the lineup. “Alright. Octavia....three.” She said, pointing to the one with the saddle and collar. “And four. Go find...me.”

The two Octavias ran off up the stairs, while Vinyl rubbed her forehead. “Octavia?”

“Yes?” Came three voices.

“The real one!”

“Yes?” She said. Vinyl checked. No number on her chest.

“Why are mine so much stranger than yours?”

Octavia frowned. “None of yours are vampires, are they?”

“I wouldn’t doubt it. But look. One is hallucinating, one is on drugs, one is...” She paused to snatch the headphones out of Vinyl #1’s hooves, who had been trying to sneak up on Octavia #2. “Trying to hypnotize every Octavia she sees with music....and two of mine are dead!”

There was a sudden rattling as a hospital bed came crashing down the stairs, spilling a Vinyl with a neckbrace down onto the floor.

“Sure! No respect for cripples!” She shouted up the stairs. “I see how it is!”

“Tavi.” Vinyl said, nodding towards her.

Octavia drew a number six on her chest.

“What the buck is going on!?” Vinyl growled. “Can this day get any more bucking strange!?”

A sudden sound filled the penthouse, a strange kind of reverberating wheezing, almost like house keys being dragged across piano wires. Vinyl stared into the corner.

“Okay. I give. What the hell is a ‘Pony box’?”

Octavia looked at the blue box that had suddenly materialized out of nowhere in the corner of the living room. “I...don’t know, Vinyl.”

The door on the blue box opened, and a tan coated stallion with dark brown hair trotted out, giving a smile. “Don’t worry! Get you all sorted out in no time!” He said, holding up a silver device in a hoof, which buzzed with a blue light as he aimed it at the different Vinyls and Octavias in turn.

“Just a little dimensional flux, threw too many of you into one area. Don’t mind me, I’m The Doctor. I’ll take it from here.”

Vinyl and Octavia looked at each other, letting out a small whimper.

Author's Note

This is what happens when I get bored and decide to write an April Fools chapter. Forgive the lack of proofreading. I didn't want to reveal the joke prematurely. I don't do comedy writing very well, so my two goals with this chapter were to A) Make myself giggle, and B) Make everyone else go WTF. All of the different Vinyls and Octavias are from stories that I've read here on fimfiction. I tried to go with ones that I enjoyed, found unique, and had ideas for how they could work in this fake chapter. Here is the list.
Characters were used without permission.

Hallucinating Vinyl - Like The Record Rolls, by psp7master
Cruel Octavia and Drugged Vinyl - Elegie, Op.24, by Togashi (Clop)
Vinyl's Gravestone and Cello-playing Octavia - The Letter, by psp7master
Blood Slave Vinyl and Vampire Octavia - The Unconverted One, by Mavinator5 (Sorta Clop?)
Dead Vinyl - Songs Of Sorrow, by Syvvak
Hypnotizing Vinyl and Saddle Octavia - Let The Music Flow, by Tehponiplz (Clop)
Hospital Bed Vinyl - In An Instant, by Ruirik

The real chapter will be up in a few days. Happy April Fools, everypony!