Equinophobiaby Film Falm BrothersChaptersProlougeChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Prolouge"...As I've told you before, Mr. Harold, I can't help you if you won't take my suggestions seriously." Victor Harold wriggled on the couch he was laying on. Even if he did want to get over this whole "fear" of horses, Victor really didn't think going to a petting zoo was going to help. In fact, it'd probably have the opposite effect: petting zoo's only held bad memories for him. "No offense, but me in a petting zoo would be like a Jew in Germany in the 1940's: it won't end well." Victor adjusted himself; he could never get comfortable on this damned couch, but it was the only place to sit in the room. Victor's psychologist rolled his eyes. "Were you saying no offense to me, or the over six million Jews who died in the Holocaust?" Victor couldn't help but grin: even if it didn't sound like it, that was his shrinks attempt at a joke. Or at least, he hoped it was. It was hard to tell with Dr.Zhardtyut ( don't even ask for a pronunciation on that, even the doctor forgot time to time). Luckily, Dr. Zhar smiled back. Victor started to reply, but he was interrupted by a (very loud) police siren. Another grin appeared on both mens faces: this was about the pinnacle of the doctors humor. Victor sat up. "Well, it's been fun, it's been real..." "And it's been real fun." Dr.Zhar finished, standing up from his chair and walking towards the door, which he opened for his patient. Victor collected his things, put on his hat, and walked out the door into the lobby. "Victor," Victor turned back to Dr.Zhar, who had a grin the size of the moon on his face, "Pleasant dreams tonight." "You know that won't happen." Victor waved, and continued on his way out into the streets. Holding onto his hat, Victor stepped out onto the streets of Springfield just in time for a massive gust of wind to hit him and nearly blow his hat off.Damn wind. Why'd I move this far north anyway? Victor thought to himself as he walked back to his apartment. Victor hurried so that he wouldn't get stuck in the foot traffic that was coming any minute now. 4:53. I can make it, Victor always liked this challenge: could he get home without seeing five people on the street? Ten? Twenty? Could he beat his record of six minutes forty three seconds (set on a day where a full bladder and stop watch joined in perfect unity). All these useless bets and time trials were just set up to distract him from one thing: his dreams tonight. Every day he had a session with Dr.Zhar, he always dreamed about horses. Don't ask him why, but he did. Of course, the person he was paying to help with this very fear happened to find this extremely funny. So, it fell to Victor to make sure he didn't obsess over what was to come. Sighing, Victor picked up the pace: tonight felt like a record breaker. "Damn. Thirty seconds!" Victor lamented as he unlocked his door and stopped the timer. Victor braced himself for what was coming, and got a mouthful of it: dog kisses. "Alright, I missed you too, Spike." Victor ruffled the great danes' ears, trying to not fall over with the full 150 pounds of dog shoving into him, "Spike, couch!" Obedient as ever, the hulking dog padded over to the leather couch, and sighed as he slumped onto it, taking up all of the space. Victor chuckled as he hung up his jacket and hat. Walking into the living room, he switched on the tv. A cheesy soap opera filed the screen, right in the middle of a big ol' kissing scene. "You do love your soaps, don't ya?" Spike's eyes turned toward his master for a second, then went back to the screen, "You know, I think the tv is finally starting to rot your brains out." Spike just gave a humph and wagged his tail, slapping Victor's leg Victor went about his nightly routine, grading his students papers, which seemed to be getting worse and worse as the school year went on (Ah, the wonderful minds of remedial science, he thought as he slapped a big, red 42 on a test), cooking dinner for Spike and himself (a waste of money maybe, but Victor knew what was in dog food and didn't want his dog feasting on fake meat while he had a steak), and surfing the internet. This last action had taken on a dangerous edge to it recently, though: more and more often, Victor had tumbled upon pictures and videos about a little girls show, which, unfortunately for Victor, had horses, or more accurately ponies, as the main characters. Victor tried to ignore these, but the seemed to be popping up everywhere he went: YouTube, Reddit, even Memebase. Around eleven, Victor looked at the clock. "Alright, might as well get this over with. Spike, bed!" While the dane settled into his side of the bed (which more often than not included most of Victors), Victor showered, brushed, and prepared himself for the things he was about to see. Even going as slowlt as he could, Victor only ate up about half an hour. Turning to Spike as he settled into bed, Victor said, "Wish me luck." But all the luck in the world couldn't help what Victor was about to go through. * * * "HEYA TWILGHT!" "GAH!" The unicorn jumped straight up into the air, obviously from her pink friends sudden appearance behind her. Or maybe it was from the fact that she SCREAMED so suddenly, "SPIKE, INITIATE PLAN W! GET THE- oh, wait," Twilight turned around, and saw that it was just Pinkie Pie, being... well, Pinkie Pie, and not an assassin or something along those lines, "Hi Pinkie." "HI TWILIGHT!" Pinkie screamed, despite being about a foot away from Twilight. Oblivious to the I'm-seriously-considering-turning-you-into-a-frog look that Twilight was giving her, Pinkie had her usual smile on her face. Twilight furrowed her brow. "Pinkie, why are you yelling?" Twilight deadpanned. She had very important things to be doing for the Princess, and, while Pinkie was always fun to be around, she needed to concentrate. "WHAT?" Pinkie yelled, even louder, if that was possible. "I said- wait." Twilight took her front hoof and twisted her friends head to the side. Let's see... yep, just as I thought, Twilight levitated a spoon to dig the foodstuff that was stuck in Pinkies ear out. Once she was done digging, and Pinkie had stopped giggling, Twilight said, "Pinkie, did you fall asleep onto a cake again?" Pinkie's ears flattened at the mention of the time she had passed out onto a cake she was helping decorate. It had cost her a months ban from babysitting the Cake babies. "No, Rainbow Dash thought it would be funny to put cupcakes on my ears and see if I would notice while I was asleep." Twilight turned back to the book she had been looking over, "Are you sure she did it just as a joke, or did you make her mad again?" Pinkie blushed, "Well... hey, what're you doing?" Pinkie tried to get away from the question. Rainbow Dash hadn't been in the best mood exactly yesterday when Pinkie (quite accidentally) dropped her signed picture of Soarin out the window of Rainbow Dash's house. "I am trying to make the final preparations to a very important spell the Princess wants me to try." The unicorn said, putting emphasis on the word trying. "Oh, what's the spell do, what's the spell do?" Pinkie jumped up and down: whenever Twilight had a really big spell, something fun always happened. Like that time Twilight accidentally grew a beaver 100 times its size and it almost destroyed Ponyville, or that time it had rained ice cream for a week (that was almost as good as Discord's chocolate milk rain, but now that he was better Discord let Pinkie have her own rainstorm whenever she wanted one), or that time... "Well, Princess Celestia recently discovered that space time makes our universe a lentelognogramic polygon, capable of connecting with other multihexodynamic polygons and geosynchonate shapes of space time. So, with the proper bending of space time-" Twilight opened her eyes from her recitation of fancy science words to see smoke coming out of Pinkies ears, probably from trying to understand what she was saying. Sighing, Twilight simplified, "It's a spell that could let us go into other dimensions." At this Pinkie perked right back up. "Oh oh oh! Can I help, pretty please with sugar cubes on top?" Pinkie Pie begged, clutching at Twilight's hooves. "No." Pinkie's face crumpled in sadness, but perked right back up when Twilight said, "because I'm already done preparing. I just have to do the actual magic." "CanIwatchcanIwatchcanIwatchcanI-" A purple hoof in her mouth stopped Pinkie's flood of words. "Yes." Twilight stepped into a chalk circle she had drawn on the floor, and inhaled deeply. "Wish me luck." But all the luck in the world couldn't prepare Twilight for what was about to happen. Author's Note POSITIVE criticism is greatly appreciated! Chapter 1“Hmph…” Pinkie rubbed her eyes. She must’ve drifted off again. You’d think this’d be more exciting, Pinkie thought, her hyperactivity not quite turned back on yet. Twilight had started the spell around noon, and Pinkie could see the sun was setting now. All of the others had come and went, only the party pony deciding she wanted to see the spell completed. Discord had even stopped by, but he grew bored after Twilight hadn’t even batted an eyelash at her mane turning neon green. Pinkie stretched, and stared at the wall, quite bored. Twilight, on the other hand, was anything but bored. It was taking her far longer than she thought it would, but she could feel the effects of the spell coming: a magical rift in the very space time would open right in the library. And it was close. Twilight had had to delay whenever she heard one of her friends come in. Twilight was sure that she was going to cast the spell correctly, but on the off chance she didn’t, she didn’t want any of her friends around to be possibly hurt (although she had considered purposely miscasting the spell when Discord decided to play hair dresser, but thought better of it). Sure that Pinkie had finally left, Twilight let out a final surge of magic. CRACK A sudden gust of magical wind surged outward, nocking Twilight off her hooves. Glancing up, the unicorn smiled: hovering in the air was a swirling mass of magic, rippling with special energy. Pinkie clapped her hooves. “Do it again, do it again!” Pinkie stared at the magic, a strange feeling starting to form in her tummy. It certainly looked magic, but Pinkie wasn’t exactly, 120% sure that it was a hole in space time. She knew a thing or two about those. “Um, Twilight, did you do it right?” Twilight glanced back at her friend, more annoyed at the fact that she had just questioned her magic than the fact that she was still there, “Of course I did it-“ BOOM. Another gust of wind blew outwards. CRRCKSHPT…. Twilight glanced up from the protection of her hooves, and gasped: there was a crack, a quite literal CRACK, in the air where the portal had been. Oh no no no no no no. What did I do wrong? Twilight was so caught up in her panic that she didn’t even notice the form that was lying on her library’s floor. Pinkie, however, did. “Uh, Twilight, wh-what’s that?” Pointing, Pinkie looked at her friend, who obviously hadn’t heard her. Twilight had her hooves to her ears, muttering something. “Did I not weave the streams together enough? Was I not supposed to cross the streams until I had thought of the world I wanted to connect to? Was it-“ POOF Both ponies ducked as a final wave of magical wind swept over them, this one the strongest yet, knocking some of the books off the shelves. After a few minutes, Twilight realized that she was not in fact dead, and she was very much not being torn to shreds by magic or…anything. Slowly raising her head, Twilight peeked out at the library. The crack was gone. Sighing, Twilight stood up, “It’s ok Pinkie, it’s ok.” The earth pony sprung up and hugged her friend. “omigoshomigoshomigoshTwilight!IthoughtwewerefinallydoneforandthatIwouldn’teverbeabletoseeyouorRarityorApplejackoranyoftheotherseveragainandthatwewouldbeeatenupbysomehorriblemonsterliketheoneonyourflooror-“ Twilight’s ears pricked up at that last part. “Pinkie, what monster on my floor?” Twilight looked down, thinking that Pinkie had finally lost it. “Th-that one over there.” Pinkie pointed to below where the portal had just been, a bead of sweat running down her face now. Pinkie did not often get scared, but her Pinkie senses were a-tingling. Twilight turned her head. Celestia be damned, there was something there. At first glance it looked like a long pile of Rarity’s discarded fabric, but it was slowly moving up and down. At least I didn’t kill it, Twilight felt relieved that she didn’t have another death on her hooves. Twilight stepped closer, while Pinkie edged away. At one end of the thing there was a pile of fur that almost looked like Winnona curled up into a very small ball. About midway down the creature there was what looked like hands: pink ones, with rounded ends of the fingers, where claws would be on Spike. Other than that, it was hard to see any of it, as a blanket had somehow got on top of it. Twilight bent down to move the vision obscuring cloth. “No! It might wake up!” Pinkie screamed. The creature’s eye opened. * * * A scream jolted Victor awake. Ugh…what time is it, Victor tried to turn his head, but was unpleasantly surprised to find his head was resting on something very hard, which was definitely not his pillow. Opening his eyes, Victor tried to take in his surroundings. Bookshelves, some with large gaps in its books, were the first thing he recognized. Dammit, I fell off the bed again, Victor looked closer at the books: something wasn’t right… He didn’t remember his books being such vibrant colors. Ok, maybe I’ve got gunk in my eyes, moving his hand to rub his face. Victor’s eardrums were suddenly assaulted. What Victor heard could only be described as a scream, but no scream Victor had ever heard. So high pitched an opera singer would be jealous, the disgruntled Victor had to restrain himself from blocking his ears from the noise. Victor pushed himself up, glancing at what he was laying on: hardwood flooring. Which would have confirmed the fact that he had fallen of his bed… if Victor’s apartment had hardwood flooring. It had tile. “Where the hell am I?” Victor snapped his head up: he was DEFINENTLY not in Kansas anymore. Aside from the difference in flooring, the candle chandelier was the most obvious tip off that he had woken up somewhere very different than he had fallen asleep. Next on the growing list of differences was: a ladder that appeared to be made of thick tree branches, numerous books scattered across the solid wood floor, a wooden table dominated by a large wooden statue of a horse’s head, and what appeared to be gibberish scrawled in an open book across from him. Victor pushed himself to his feet, and closed his eyes. Alright, collect yourself. It doesn't look like anyone’s around, but whoever kidnapped you is probably close by, Victor’s analytic side of the brain was running full circuit now, is there anyone who would want me dead? … Maybe my ex-girlfriends, but I doubt they’d go this far. So whoever did this doesn't know me. That could mean this was random, they mistook me for someone else, or I have a stalker who decided to take it to the next level. So, the best plan is to run for it and hope I’m close to someone who can help... I’m screwed. No, got to stay positive. So I’ll just stay very quiet and hope no one find’s me. Victor turned around. Two horses looked at him. … ..Wait… …HORSES?!?!?!?! “GAH!” Victor flew backwards, knocking hard into the bookshelf. Ok, whoever did this knows me. Dick move with the horses. “S-stay back. N-nice hoses… pretty horses.” Victor’s eyes darted around the room, taking in the rest of the room ,his heart beating fast enough to give a jet plane a run for its money: The two horses (Does that one have a horn? Is that one PINK?) were staring at him, mouths open. The…pink one was half hidden behind an upturned desk, while the purple one was just standing there. There was a window to his far left, and Victor saw that it was almost night, and that there looked like there were houses outside. Alright, so there are people around. Now where to… Victor saw the only exit: a stairway, blocked by the two horses …go. Crap. As if this couldn't get any weirder, the purple one (which, upon further inspection, had some eerily human traits, not to mention a horn) actually smiled and started whinnying to the other one, which seemed to respond. Are they talk- one thing at a time. “L-look at how pretty you are,” Victor edged towards the door, the horses eyes following him. It might have just been the adrenaline, but they looked smaller than horses should be, “I’m just gonna go now, so you be- GOOD!” Victor shouted this last part as he ran and jumped over the horse (thank you track and field), which inhaled like it was gasping. Almost sticking the landing, Victor heard another loud whinny behind him, but didn’t look back. All he cared about was leaving, and come hell or high water, he was out of there. Despite almost slipping on his wool socks, Victor made it down the stairs almost without incident, only slowing to jump something that was running up the stairs. Victor didn’t care what it was, but in the fleeting glance he got, it looked like a purple bipedal lizard. Don’t care, running. Glancing around, Victor spotted the exit. Gunning it, Victor opened it and hauled butt out side. Looking left and right, Victor saw his nightmares had finally come true: despite obviously being in a town of some sort, he was surrounded by horses, all of which glanced at him and produced to do the horse equivalent of scream. I really hope this is a dream, Victor thought as he resumed his flight of terror. Through the streets of the horse town he went, weaving in and out of the horrifying crowds. Terror would have seized his mind, but running at full sprint and not touching any of the animals didn't leave any room for fear to go. Just when he thought his lungs would burst, he saw salvation: a path into a forest. Just as he was about to put everything he had into a final sprint, Victor skidded to a halt. About ten feet in front of him was an orange horse wearing a hat. WEARING A HAT. Despite the liters of adrenaline and liquid terror coursing through his veins, and the building sense of doom running through his mind, Victor couldn’t but help crack a smile: besides looking kind of cute, a hat definitely meant there were people around to put the hat on the horse, maybe people that would help him. But first things first: Getting the hell out of wherever he was. The horse stared right back at him for about ten seconds, until Victor took off sprinting again, running as if his life depended on it. Glancing back, Victor thought for a second that, of all things, the horse was waving at him. “I’m going insane.” Victor said to himself as he hauled it into the forest. * * * Applejack put down her hoof. Why the hay had she just waved to a creature running through town like a pack of Timber Wolves was on its tail? Maybe the late night walk through town wasn’t the best idea. “Well…stranger things have happen’d.” And with that, Applejack walked home. Chapter 2“Ah still think this is a tad bit over reacting.” Applejack said, scanning over the three chalkboards Twilight had filled with intricate plans. Ever since last night when the creature showed up, the whole town had been in a tizzy. The mayor had even called an emergency town meeting, and Princess Celestia had been told about what was happening (though she seemed more concerned about the spell that brought it here than the creature itself). Now a new scouting party was going out every hour on the hour, and Twilight was working herself into a lather. Applejack had decided that it was best to pretend she hadn't seen the thing charge into the Everfree. “OVER REACTING? Applejack, look at what that…that THING did to Pinkie Pie!” Twilight pointed at the pink pony, who was in a fetal position, leaning against Fluttershy. Pinkie had lost it when the beast charged her, and fainted on the spot. Since regaining consciousness, she hadn't said a word or reacted to really anything. “Still…” Applejack didn’t know why she was defending the thing anyways. Maybe it was her good nature kicking in, but it just felt like the thing, whatever it was, hadn’t done anything wrong. “I must agree with Twilight on this one Applejack,” said Rarity, taking her eyes off the blanket the creature had left, which she had been studying ever since the six of them had met at the library, “While I’m sure it isn’t dangerous, I feel we should simply have this nonsense done with. All these adventures have already taken far too much time out of my planning for the summer fashion season, and I simply have a mountain of orders to fill at the moment.” Rainbow Dash put down the book she had been reading, “Who cares about some silly thing that ran through town? It didn’t do anything anyways. Besides, weren’t you trying to summon something from some other dimension, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but smile at Twilights conflicted face. She might not act like it, but Rainbow was pretty fast on the uptake. “Yes- no-well…it doesn’t matter what I was trying to do! A creature is loose somewhere near Ponyville, and we need to catch it!” A soft throat clearing interrupted what was most likely going to be another rant from Twilight about messing with her friends (as if the point hadn’t been hammered in during the last three). “Umm, Twilight… Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” Fluttershy said, continuing to rock Pinkie Pie back and forth like a foal. “No, I am being realistic!” Twilight shook her hooves in exasperation. Fluttershy had been her worst enemy today: ever since the meeting, Fluttershy had been the most vocal against hunting down the creature, like she had some kind of loyalty towards it. Fluttershy frowned at her (at the moment) mentally unstable friend. “This is no time to panic.” “This is the perfect time to panic!” Twilight turned towards her chalkboards, going over her intricate plans once again. “If it isn’t time to panic when a deranged creature from another dimension terrorizes the town, then there IS no time to panic!” Twilights’ eyes shifted around the room, as if looking for threats, “I think we need to get the Elements and call a Code F.” Applejack sighed. “Twilight, we agreed that we wouldn’t use a Code F unless a majoritay-” Applejack’s tongue stumbled over the big word , “Until most of us agreed that we needed to.” Applejack had never liked the thought of using the Elements willy-nilly, and had strong hoofed her friends into setting up the democratic system for using them unless it was clear that they needed to. “Fine! I call a Code F emergency vote!” Twilight shouted, “Yay!” “Yay.” Rarity said, returning her attention to the fabric. “Neigh.” Rainbow Dash turned a page. “Neigh.” Fluttershy said. “Neigh, and even if we DO decide tah’ use the Elements, Pinkie’s in no shape to.” Applejack frowned: despite being such a level headed, bookwormish pony, Twilight could get a little hot headed at times. The unicorn snorted. “Fine. Fluttershy, use the radio and check in with Spike.” Spike, upon request from Twilight, had taken her hot air balloon to scan from the air. It may not have been the best idea the group could have come up with, but Spike had been raring to go after a few encouraging words from Rarity, and had taken off like nopony’s business. “Alright.” Shifting Pinkie’s weight, Fluttershy picked up the walkie talkie which connected with Spike’s, “This is Treefort Six to Red Dragon Five: do you copy? Over.” Fluttershy sighed as she said the ridiculous names: if Spike was going to play hero, he should at least take it seriously. After a few seconds of static, the radio reply came back, “This is Red Dragon Five to Treefort Six: Twilight, I think I’ve got something. Over.” Twilight snatched the walkie talkie from her friends hoof, who squeaked in surprise. “Treefort Six to Red Dragon Five: WHERE IS IT!?!...Over.” A moment of silence came from the radio. “…Red Dragon Five to Treefort Six: There’s no need to yell Twilight. And it’s heading towards Canterlot on the banks of the Hoof River. Over.” Twilight’s grinned looked like it could have split her face in two, “Treefort Six to Red Dragon Five: Keep visual contact with target, reinforcements are on their way. Over.” “Red Dragon Five to Treefort Six: I copy. I will maintain sight of the target until reinforcements arrive. Over and out.” Static blared from the walkie talkie as Spike turned his end off. The unicorn turned to her friends, a dangerous glint in her eyes, “Let’s go kill-catch us a monster.” With varying states of sighs and eye rolls, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash got up and headed towards the door. Hurrying to get out there and give this thing the beating it deserved, Twilight turned back towards Fluttershy, who had made no move to leave, “You and Pinkie gonna be ok?” Fluttershy smiled, “We’ll be fine. I’ll get her up to my cottage, and she can rest there.” Fluttershy motioned for the four of them to leave, “I’ll get Discord to cheer her up. She’ll be her old self in no time.” I hope, Fluttershy thought to herself. Twilight wasn’t exactly sure Discord could be trusted to handle Pinkie in her current state, but more important things were on her mind. “Alright, we’ll meet you there,” Kicking up her front hooves, Twilight shouted, “We’re off!”, and the four ponies galloped away. Sighing, Fluttershy looked down to her friend, still somewhere in Lala Land. “Come on Pinkie, let’s go.” Fluttershy nudged her friend to her hooves, and began the long journey to her cottage. * * * IhatehorsesIhatehorsesIhatehorsesIhatehorses, Victor thought to himself as he peeked around the tree he was hiding behind. Victor had learned three things during the long night: One, this was definitely not a dream, no matter how hard he tried to make himself think it was; Two, he was definitely not on Earth anymore, given the fact that he had ran away from a wolf made out of wood, seen horses in every color of the rainbow, some of which had a horn or wings, and some kind of insect that reproduced by belching its offspring directly into his face; and Three, THE HORSES WERE HUNTING HIM. There was no other way to explain it: the horses were organized, they were structured, and they had a mission. It’s like Planet of the Apes gone bad, Victor thought as he picked a twig from his t-shirt. Thankfully, it wasn’t the middle of winter wherever the heck he was, or else he would have ended up a man flavored ice cube overnight. Still, his t-shirt, flannel pajamas, and wool socks had taken quite the beating. If this wasn’t bad enough, the hour or so he had had asleep (up a tree, which didn’t help his mood) had been interrupted by another party of horses shouting, or what he assumed was shouting, on the path. Victor was glad that he couldn’t understand what they were saying, because it sounded angry, and his imagination had not helped his heart beat come down much over night. “Alright, let’s think,” Victor whispered aloud as soon as he was sure the horses were far enough away, “The horses are all coming from that way, so my best bet is to go the other way down the road.” Quietly as was physically possible, Victor inched his way through the forest, always keeping the path in sight, and hiding whenever he heard another group coming. Slowly, ever so slowly, he made his way through the forest, with more scrapes and close calls than he could keep track of. After what felt like forever, but was more like an hour or so, Victor looked up from his now tattered socks, and saw salvation: A small house, with no horses anywhere around it. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Victor muttered to himself, edging towards the road. Slowly poking his head out, he looked down the road: nothing in sight. Getting the first good feeling he had had since he saw Hat Horse, Victor steeled himself. You can do it, just run and get into the house. Anything would be better than these damnable horses. Taking a final breath, Victor zoomed across the dirt road. The frantic run only lasted about five seconds, but it felt like he was running a marathon to Victor. This is what war probably feels like, Victor thought as he reached the wooden door of the house, slamming it open and closed. Almost not believing he had really done it, Victor slowly looked around: it was a house, nothing really crazy about it. There were a lot of bird houses and tiny staircases around, but considering what he had seen in the past day, it was about as strange as tusks on an elephant. Finally, after hours on the run from murderous horses, he was safe. Sighing, Victor slumped on the ground finally able to rest. Alright, I’m safe. Victor looked at the room more closely: it seemed as if the room was one big piece of wood, almost like a tree had been carved out to make the home. Victor was surprised to see that birds flew in and out of the room almost at will, all of them vibrant colors. Alright, that’s a tad weird… Oh, great, I’m in a hippies place. The total lack of technology confirmed his suspicion that a nature loving tree hugger called this place home; the most advanced thing he could see were picture frames, all of which seemed to hold pictures of the demon horses that were currently on the look for him. Gotta hand it to the guy, it takes balls to live around so many horses. Maybe he trained them... Yeah, that’s it. Victor had had the thought that the horses were sentient or something after he saw how organized they were, but them being trained was much more likely. Victor stood up to examine the photos more closely: lots of them were of one yellow horse with a tattoo of butterfly’s on its butt surrounded by other animals, while a group of six horses took up a good chunk of the rest of the photos. Damn, he’s the one who’s sicking the horses on me... Now I just need to find him and explain. A sudden noise above his head got Victor’s attention back on the here and now. The sudden sound was coming from almost directly above him, probably from a second floor. Victor gulped. From what he could figure, the hippie had just heard him and was coming downstairs. Victor tried to make himself presentable as he walked over to the stairwell in the corner of the room. Wish me luck. But just as he was inhaling to talk, the man upstairs interrupted him. “What in Celestia’s wide flanks are you making all the noise for, Fluttershy? You know how much I need my beauty rest!” Victor couldn’t decide whether he was happy or scared by the voice: on one hand, he had been right about there being another human around, but on the other, he hadn’t exactly planned what he was going to say to the hippie yet. Trying to sound as calm as possible, he yelled up the stairs. “Actually, sir, I-I happened to see your cabin and thought I would ask for your help.” Victor was starting to get nervous: the man had stopped walking as soon as Victor started talking, “Y-you see, I have no idea where I am, and there are…horses chasing after me, as strange as it may sound.” The man upstairs burst into laughter. “Hahahaha! So you got one of Ponyville’s famous warm welcomes! Haha! Oh, priceless,” The man stopped to catch his breath, “But I think you’ve come to the wrong thing for help, my dear chap.” Victor’s heart skipped a beat; the man was walking down the stairs. Victor stood like a statue as the man’s feet came into view. Or, to be more accurate, the things feet came into view: one looked almost like a deer leg, the other, an overgrown iguanas. “Wh-what are you?” Victor stuttered as the rest of the thing came into view. Victor couldn’t process everything about it fast enough; his mind was just too far gone with panic. The thing was about his height, with what could only be described as a dragons tail trailing behind it. Not one thing was normal about it: aside from the mismatched feet, the things arms, wings, and horns were mismatched, like God had decided to throw the scraps left over from other animals together for a laugh. To top it all off, the creature was dressed in a stripped nightcap and nightgown. The thing stared back at him, a smirk further emphasizing its giant canine tooth. “I could ask the very same of you, my friend. But I,” The thing snapped its fingers, and two self-drumming drums appeared, almost as if to build tension as the thing dramatically paused, “Am Discord, lord and master of all chaos.” Exhaustion and the long night on the run finally caught up to Victor. “Makes about as much sense as anything around here.” Victor managed before he dead fainted. The thing looked down at him. The mismatched creature grinned like the Cheshire cat, and let out a chuckle, imagining all the fun that he was in store for once the thing awoke. Not wanting the creature to get a bad first impression of everything in Ponyville, Discord carried Victor up the stairs, and laid him in Fluttershy’s bed. “And now we wait for the fun to begin!” Discord chuckled as he summoned a bucket of popcorn, munching on it as he waited for the thing to wake up. Chapter 3… … …Dude, you’re awake. Victor sighed and tried to will himself back into unconsciousness. Not gonna work. Just get up, put your big boy pants on, and figure out a plan, Victor’s mind scolded him as he tried to resist the urge to open his eyes. Finally giving in, Victor opened his eyes. Yup, still in hell on Earth, or where ever the hell this was. “Fine, you win.” Victor muttered to himself as he pushed himself up, and noticed that he was on a bed, albeit a very small one. Well, it beats a tree. Victor shook off the covers and busied himself: Running his hands through his hair, wiping the gunk away from his eyes, anything to delay the inevitable being feed to the crazy horses by the… thing that was probably downstairs, waiting to torture him before sicking his crazy horses on him once again. Suddenly, Victor heard something marching up the stairs. “Wakey wakey my odd little friend! Well, what you think, pretty good transformation, given the lack of reference?” Victor looked over Discord’s new form. He had actually come pretty close to looking like a human, but a few things were off, mainly his horns and eyes not changing. Discord had even clothed himself in an oversized trench coat and pair of pants that were brown wool on the left, and green chainmail on the right. Victor sighed, “So I guess you really are the lord of chaos?” “Well of course I am! And no needs to sound so negative, uh…what did you say your name was again?” Discord tugged at his goatee, cocking an eyebrow at Victor. “Victor. Victor Harold. Why do you care anyways?” Victor wasn’t even scared at the impending horrify things he was probably going to endure at this things hands. Discord waved a finger at him, which promptly removed itself from his hand to hover right in front of Victor’s nose. “Tsk tsk tsk. No need to be rude.” “Well excuse me for not being in a good mood after getting chased though a forest by demonic horses all night, and captured by some insane creature to boot!” Victor was getting impatient: he almost wanted to just get whatever was going to happen over with. Discord, being Discord, found Victor’s outburst to be a laugh and a half. “Hahaha! So, I’m not the only thing those ponies aren’t sugary sweet with, huh?” Discord casually started to walk on the ceiling. “Well you can go straight to- wait, what?” Victor thought he had just heard that this Discord wasn’t the one in charge of the horses. Discord rolled his eyes, “Please. If you think one night of running through the Everfree is bad, you should try being trapped in stone for a thousand plus years. One word: Bohr-ring!” Discord pushed back his hair. Victor was trying not to, but he was getting a good feeling in his gut about this guy, “So, you’re not in charge of the horses? You didn’t sick ‘em on me?” “ SPPRT ---- BWAHAHAHAHA!” Discord did a spit take, spitting about a gallon of chocolate milk out the window, “M-me? In charge of THEM? Hahaha, y-you must be crazier than me!” Discord clutched his stomach, trying to maintain himself. After almost a full minute, he had finally stopped laughing enough to talk again, “n-no, I didn’t so far as know a thing about you until you came barging into the house. Although I must admit, I haven’t had this much of a laugh since I turned all of Equestrias water into vinegar! And then the whole maze with the Elements of Harmony- good stuff.” Victor was half smiling himself by this point, “The Elements of Harmony? Sounds like a sunshine and lollipop band for kids.” “HAHAHA! St-stop, you’re cracking me up!” Discord quite literally cracked up, breaking into pieces as if he had never returned from being a statue. With a snap of the fingers, Discord put himself together, only to laugh some more. Victor couldn’t help it, Discord’s laugh was contagious. He started snickering, which only made Discord laugh more, which of course sent Victor into hysterics. Soon, both of them were writhing on the floor, faces red. This went on for a few minutes, neither of them able to contain themselves for long until they busted out laughing once again. “ohh…” Discord sighed, clutching his sides. Now THIS makes up for having to be a goody two shoes all the time! “Alright, no more…no more.” Victor propped himself up, taking deep breaths. The two of them sat their in silence for a moment, regaining their breath. Finally, Victor said, “Well, good to know not everything around here wants to kill me.” Discord smiled, “Oh, you are being far too kind! You’re making me blush!” Victor looked at Discord: two large packets of blush were pasting themselves onto Discord cheeks, making him look like a Barbie gone horribly wrong. Victor chuckled, which almost brought about a second laugh attack, but Discord managed to hold himself together. With a snap, the makeup disappeared, “And as much as we have disagreed in the past, I very much doubt that these ponies want to kill you. They’d probably faint if you some much as hinted at the possibility.” Victor pushed his hair out of his face, “Then why were they chasing me all night?” “Because, my comical cohort,” Discord glanced up at Victor, “as much as the ponies deny it, they are ever so fearful of anything not like them.” Discord stood up, straightening his new clothing, “If you think this was bad, you should see what they do to Changelings. And don’t even get me started on Griffons!” “So you’re saying that these hor-ponies hate anything that isn’t them?” Victor’s heart beat was racing back to its fever pitch: this was not good news for him. “While I would not use the word hate, you, unfortunately, are not far off the mark. It would take a miracle to get them to trust you.” Discord started to say more, but was interrupted. A creaking sound followed by hooves clacking on wood signaled that a horse had made its way into the house. A series of chittering and other… horse noises seemed to grab Discord attention, almost as if he could understand it. Victor and Discord both went wide eyed, but for vastly different reasons. This is it, this is how I die! God damn it, I knew it’d be something with horses in it! Victor thought, with the panic setting back in with full force. Discord, however, smiled at the interruption. “Luckily for you, miracles are one of my specialities.” Discord winked at Victor, and, with a snap, reverted into his original form, “Wish me luck.” I’m gonna die, Victor thought as Discord went down the stairs. * * * “That’s it, nice and easy.” Fluttershy guided Pinkie Pie onto the couch. The walk from Ponyville had taken far longer than she had expected; the sun was nearly setting. Pinkie hadn’t recovered much from the shock; she was still walking like a zombie, not really reacting to anything around her. Fluttershy heard the stairs creak. “It is about time you got home! Three kids to feed and you’re off gallivanting with your friends.” Never wasting the chance for a good laugh, Discord had changed into a poofy blonde wig and apron, and had three baby ponies snuggled against his chest, one of which started crying, “There, now you’ve gone and done it! And I had just got them settled down.” Fluttershy smiled: Discord certainly made things livelier around the cottage, “That’s very funny Dissypoo, but Pinkie here needs quiet.” Discord frowned at Fluttershy’s smile: she knew he was sensitive about that nickname. “I wish you wouldn’t call me that in front of company,” Discord snapped away his costume and kids, and walked over to the couch, “And to what do we owe the honor of the company of the best element of harmony?” Discord realized too late that Pinkie was definitely not herself, and got a look that bordered on The Stare from Fluttershy. But, her nurturing instincts over throwing her agitation, Fluttershy returned her attention to Pinkie. “Oh, one of Twilights spells went wrong, and some terrible creature gave her a scare.” Fluttershy put a very sarcastic tone on the word terrible. Ah, so that’s what got the town in such a fret. Naughty naughty my dear Victor, Discord thought with a smile. “And what, may I be so bold as to ask, is oh so terrifying about this beast?” Discord raised his voice, hoping that Victor was getting an earful of the conversation, “What could it do that was so bad. No, wait! Let me guess… Did it denounce the magic of friendship? No! … Did it touch Rainbow Dash’s hooves? Or…oh the horror, the horror! Did it deface one of Twilights precious books?” Fluttershy rolled her eyes at Discord increasingly dramatic reactions. “No, apparently the thing was in the library with Pinkie and Twilight, and it charged them and ran out of town.” Fluttershy rubbed her back: she was not a strong pony, and Pinkie had been dead weight all the way to the cottage, “Twilight’s pretty freaked out. She and most of the town seem to want to find and k-k-destroy whatever it is.” Fluttershy couldn’t make herself say the K word, even if it was about some extra dimensional beast. “Well I’m sure that is a rampant over reaction,” Discord continued to almost shout, “I’m sure whatever this thing is it means absolutely no harm to anypony.” If that doesn’t get me some good boy points with dear Victor I may just sick the elements on him for real. Hehe, now wouldn’t that be fun…No, better not. Celestia knows how long I’d be statued for if I did. Fluttershy sighed, “I wish everypony else saw it that way, Discord. If I had just managed to speak up at the town meeting, none of this would be happening…” Discord swooped in before Fluttershy could get too far into her self-loathing. “Now now my precious Flutters, don’t blame yourself,” Discords eyes widened as he sensed an opportunity arising, “In fact, I think I have the perfect opportunity for you to help remedy this whole situation.” Fluttershy sniffed, pushing tears back. She always got weepy during…this time of the month, and this whole fiasco wasn’t helping, “W-what do you mean?” “Weeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllll… how to put this?” Discord puzzled over how to say that at that very moment the extra dimensional beast, which was causing so much chaos in town that Discord would normally be jealous of it, if the situation wasn’t the way it was, was within earshot of Fluttershy. “Spit it out already, silly!” Fluttershy smiled: Discord was such a hoot as long as he wasn’t causing world shattering chaos every second. Discord smiled back. “Very well. HCCCCCCKK …PHOOO!” Discord spat a very wet, very angry Angel onto the floor, who shook his paw at the draconeqqus and hopped off. Fluttershy smirked and rolled her eyes, “Oh, not literally. Very well. I…may or may not know where this so called creature is, and may be able to talk it into trusting you enough so you could shelter it. For the time being, at least.” This wiped the smirk right of the pegaus’s face. “M-m-me? T-take care of it? I- no, Fluttershy, you can do this!” Fluttershy reassured herself, puffing out of her chest. Pinkie shifted slightly in her sleep, reminding the pair that she was still there. “So you’ll do it, my ever so brave buddy?” “I’ll do it!” Fluttershy looked around, “So, where is the poor thing?” A glint flashed through Discords eyes, “Closer than you’d think,” Discord turned around to the stairs, “Oh Victor, come down here!” Chapter 4“Oh Victor, come down here!” Alright Victor, time to put on your big boy pants. Victor gulped and began ever so slowly advancing towards the stairs. Victor had heard the entire conversation that Discord and the horse (hopefully it was just one horse and not horses) had just had. Of course, understanding only one side of the conversation hadn’t exactly helped calm his nerves, but from what Discord had been saying, it seemed like if there was a shot that he’d survive all this craziness, this was it. So, taking a deep breath, Victor began the decent down the stairs. Victor moved with deliberate slowness, not overly eager to come face to face with another one of the demon horses. But, as much as Victor might have wanted it to, going down a flight of stairs doesn’t take very long, especially when the stairs, if not the entire house, seemed to be designed for children and not a full grown man. Making sure he didn’t make any sudden movements, Victor stepped onto the first floor of the cottage. …Alright, there’s not a horse violently ripping out my vital organs like a velociraptor. That’s a step in the right direction. Victor heard what could almost be described as a gasp come from his left. Slowly, moving ever so deliberately, Victor turned to face the creator of the sound. Discord was standing about two or three feet from the stair case, and was staring at him, a grin plastered on his face, both arms dramatically pointed towards him. About five or so feet away from Discord, however, was a blonde horse with a light pink mane and tail. The horse had one of its front hooves in front of its snout, almost like it was covering the fact that it was gaping at him. A pair of the same yellowish colored wings sprouted from the horses back. Discord turned back to face the horse. “Fluttershy, this is Victor,” Discord turned toward the human, “Victor, meet Fluttershy.” Almost out of reflex, Victors hand shot up and waved towards the horse, which hesitantly returned the gesture. I’m getting tired of saying this, but could things get any weirder? Almost as if he heard the thought, Discord got a grin on his face. “Now now, no need to be so shy. Shake hooves like civilized… things.” Discord stretched both his arms out like taffy, and pushed the human and pony together, both of them resisting as if their life depended on it. Unfortunately, Discord wasn’t exactly a weakling, so all the struggling accomplished nothing. The horse snorted something at Discord. He rolled his eyes, “No, I can guarantee you he won’t do anything brash. Or at least if he does, I’ll be a pal and stop him. Now shake hooves.” Tentatively, Fluttershy reached one of her hooves up. Matching her unwillingness, Victor slowly wrapped his hand around her outstretched hoof. Dontfreakoutdontfreakoutdontfreakout… Victor thought as he slowly shook the horses hoof up and down, letting go as soon as he could. Discord smiled, “There, now we all know each other. That wasn’t so bad, now was it Victor?” Victor looked down at his feet, “n-no… it wasn’t.” Fluttershy suddenly whinnied something to Discord. “Yes, that’s him talking,” Discord paused to let Fluttershy respond, “How in the world would I know that! I don’t have the luxury of hearing different languages.” “What was that Discord? Y-you don’t hear language?” Victor was very confused, but this was a feeling that he was quickly getting accustomed to. Discord turned towards him, “Yes. Being the lord of chaos does have its disadvantages, now doesn’t it? No need for a translator with little ol’ me around.” Victor furrowed a brow, “You’re welcome, by the way. I’d love to know where you would be if it were not for the lovely and fabulous me’s translating abilities!” Discord harrumph-ed, crossing his arms. The horse simply rolled its eyes. “S-so… what do we do know?” Victor asked, casually leaning away from the hor- Fluttershy. Victor couldn’t be sure, but he thought that Fluttershy was doing the same. “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell… I hate to do this to you, but I’m going to have to leave you two lovebirds alone for a while.” “WHAT!” Victor shouted. “NEIGH!” Fluttershy got a bug eyed look on its face that mirrored Victor’s own. Discord chuckled, a grin nearly splitting his face in half, “Oh, stop it you two. If you were any more entertaining I’d follow you around all day! But, alas,” Discord assumed a dramatic pose, “As a god, and a benevolent one at that, it is my job to help those I can.” The horse whinnied at Discord, who shook his head at it, “Yes, well I might as well be a god. Celestia knows I’m powerful enough. But I’m ranting. And besides,” Discord turned towards the pegasus, “Would you prefer me to not go get those goody four shoes friends of yours? Hmm?” The horse turned its eyes at the floor, blushing slightly. After a series of… horse noises (Victor couldn’t decide whether they were whinnies, neighs, or some other onomatopoeia for a sound a horse makes), the horse looked back at Victor. Good God, that thing is creepy… wait… “You’re going for more of these… horses?!” Victor had to restrain himself from calling the pastel ponies ‘things’, “Don’t you think that’s… pushing it?” “As much as I do hate to admit it, I have absolutely no idea what to do with you, lad. See? Not one idea,” Discord said as he cracked open his skull, showing it to be empty, “so, I think that we may have to get Fluttershys friends involved.” At this point, both Victor and Fluttershy burst out in a string of chatter, both of them trying to talk Discord out of this. “Please Discord, you have to understand something. I… I kind of have this, this thing with horses. They… they freak me out.” At this, Discord perked up. “Oh ho! Really? My bipedal friend, you just keep getting more interesting!” Discord elbowed Victor, as Fluttershy stopped her torrent of objections to listen to what Discord was saying, “If anything, I had my money being on these ponys being afraid of you, not the other way around!” “Yes, well…” Victor wasn’t sure he liked the look in Discords eyes. While he knew he shouldn’t, what with Discord literally being chaos given physical form, Victor trusted the guy. But the glint in his eyes gave Victor a sense of dread. Discord stroked his goatee, glancing at Victor, then Fluttershy, then back at Victor. Finally, he let out a sigh, “Well, I GUESS I could be convinced to postpone doing anything. BUT! I still think it would not only be hilarious, but smart to go get somepony else to help with this mess.” Victor let out what could have easily been the largest sigh ever let out by a human ever; it felt like a boulder that was sitting on top of a mountain that was supported by four elephants that were on his chest had just gotten lift off of Victor, “Y’know, you’re a lot of a better friend than most humans I knew back home. What’d you do to get… what happened to you? Stuck in a statue?” Discord giggled, “Oh, now there is a story. You see…” * * * After Discord finished regaling Victor with the abridged version of how he got trapped in stone, when he broke out, and how he was reformed, the odd trio settled down into their daily routine, or as close as they could get to it with Victor in the house. Fluttershy took care of her animals, as well as checking in on Pinkie Pie, who somehow remained in a deep sleep throughout the day. Discord kept Victor company, giving him an impromptu show of his chaotic powers, followed by the abridged version of the history of Equestria. Victor was able to keep the topic off of his home, but this proved to be much easier than anticipated, with Discord being a chatterbox all day (even to the point where Victor had to excuse himself to the bathroom to get away from Discords stories. He could not find one). Eventually, the stories devolved into the two of them playing card games, which were almost identical to the ones Victor had on Earth. By the time night came around, Victor, Discord, Angel Bunny, and Elizabeak were wrapped up in a high stakes game of poker. “…I fold.” Victor said, glancing at his pitifully small pile of chips. How in the world a chicken was taking them to cleaners, let alone playing, was beyond him. The only one close to competition for the chicken was Angel, who Victor decided he kind of liked. With him out, the rest showed their hands: Discord with two pair, Angel with a straight, and Elizabeak with… “A FULL HOUSE! Cheater!” Discord pointed a claw at the chicken, who silently slid the pot towards her, despite the death glare Angel was giving her. Fluttershy giggled. “Quite, Discord. Pinkie had a rough day.” “Oh yes, lying on the couch and sleeping all day is sooooooooooooo exhausting!” The draconequus said, but in a much lower tone, “there could be a full grown dragon in here and that pony wouldn’t even notice.” “You’re just in a bad mood because you’re losing.” Victor said, grinning at Discord. “Not as bad as you are, chum. Or did you ‘mistake’ the bunny’s pile as yours again?” At that, everyone in the room (with the exception of Pinkie) laughed, remembering that argument, which Victor lost, as well as the following five hands. “Ah, forget you. I’m going to bed.” Victor said, getting up from the floor they were playing on and taking a few steps before remembering that he wasn’t in his apartment. Turning around, he faced Discord, “so… where am I sleeping?” Discord blinked at him for a few seconds, “Wha- oh, oh yeah. Hmm…” Discord got a pair of grinding gears above his head as he tried to think. “He can sleep in my bed.” All the heads in the room turned towards Fluttershy, who had spoken up from her spot on the couch next to her comatose friend. Discord did a spit take (despite not having a drink), and Angel dropped his cards (which Elizabeak promptly looked at). “… Who are you and what have you done with my Fluttershy?” Discord questioned. Victor was lost at his point. Fluttershy grinned, “Stop being a drama queen, Rarity doesn’t need any competition,” this got a laugh from Discord, “I should stay down here with Pinkie Pie to make sure she doesn’t… wake up and find an unpleasant surprise for herself.” After relaying this information to Victor, the human shrugged, “Well, g’night then.” With that, Victor went upstairs. After a few minutes of silence, Discord looked back at the pegasus, “Seriously, Shy. What’s gotten into you?” “What do you mean?” Flutterhsy looked up from Pinkie, who was twitching in her sleep. “What I mean is that you aren’t acting right. The Fluttershy I know would have never let Victor in the house, let alone let him sleep in her bed. The pegasus I know would have fainted the second she laid eyes on him, and ran away to her friends.” “Isn’t that a good thing though?” Discord didn’t like where this conversation was going, “Well, yes, but-“ “But what?” “I… I don’t want to say.” Discord looked back at his cards, but neither of his playmates had done anything with their cards, being too focused on the conversation. “C’mon Dissy. You’re not one to not say what was on your mind.” Fluttershy had a look of almost concern on her face. “It’s- it’s just… this isn’t… you were perfect the way you were. You shouldn’t change. This… isn’t the pegasus I fell in love with.” Fluttershy sighed. Of course this was what this was about. On top of that had happened, Discord had to bring this up. Fluttershy had thought that they agreed to leave this dead and buried after Discords failed attempt at romance. Fluttershy got off of the couch and walked up to Discord, looking him right in the eyes. “Discord, you know I care about you. You know I would never do anything to hurt you. You know I think you’re one of my closest friends,” Fluttershy paused to push down Discords hand, which was rising towards her mane, “and you know I don’t love you. At least, not like that. I’ve told you before. We can’t do this. I care about you too much to let you love me, and see me live my life knowing that one day, far down the line, you would have to see me die. I can’t let you go through that Discord. I care about you too much.” A tear made its way out of Discords eye, “Well… I’ll be going now.” Discord sprung up and walked towards the door. “Discord…” Fluttershy tried to say, but he was already flying away. This was how Discord always reacted when Fluttershy told him what she felt: He stormed off and sulked, sometimes disappearing for days at a time. But he always came back, back to his cheerful, wacky self, until his feelings got the better of him again. Fluttershy sighed. I knew it’d be hard, but why did it have to be like this? Fluttershy slumped back to the couch. I finally get friends, finally get Discord to behave, and THIS. Oh, Celestia… Fluttershy looked at her slumbering friend. “I bet you’d figure out a way to make this work.” Fluttershy pulled the blanket over Pinkie Pie. Trying to forget what had happened, Fluttershy began humming. Eventually, it morphed into song: Hush now, quiet now It's time to go to bed Hush now, quiet now It's time to go to bed Hush now, quiet now It's time to lay your sleepy head Hush now, Quiet now It's time to go to bed. Drifting off to sleep Exciting day behind you Drifting off to sleep Let the joy of dream land find you Hush now quiet now Lay your sleepy head Hush now quiet now It's time to go to bed… A tear dropped to the floor as Fluttershy settled into bed. Above, Victor slept peacefully, forgetting the stress and misery that had been the recent events… Author's Note I have no idea how to play poker. SURPRISE!
Prolouge"...As I've told you before, Mr. Harold, I can't help you if you won't take my suggestions seriously." Victor Harold wriggled on the couch he was laying on. Even if he did want to get over this whole "fear" of horses, Victor really didn't think going to a petting zoo was going to help. In fact, it'd probably have the opposite effect: petting zoo's only held bad memories for him. "No offense, but me in a petting zoo would be like a Jew in Germany in the 1940's: it won't end well." Victor adjusted himself; he could never get comfortable on this damned couch, but it was the only place to sit in the room. Victor's psychologist rolled his eyes. "Were you saying no offense to me, or the over six million Jews who died in the Holocaust?" Victor couldn't help but grin: even if it didn't sound like it, that was his shrinks attempt at a joke. Or at least, he hoped it was. It was hard to tell with Dr.Zhardtyut ( don't even ask for a pronunciation on that, even the doctor forgot time to time). Luckily, Dr. Zhar smiled back. Victor started to reply, but he was interrupted by a (very loud) police siren. Another grin appeared on both mens faces: this was about the pinnacle of the doctors humor. Victor sat up. "Well, it's been fun, it's been real..." "And it's been real fun." Dr.Zhar finished, standing up from his chair and walking towards the door, which he opened for his patient. Victor collected his things, put on his hat, and walked out the door into the lobby. "Victor," Victor turned back to Dr.Zhar, who had a grin the size of the moon on his face, "Pleasant dreams tonight." "You know that won't happen." Victor waved, and continued on his way out into the streets. Holding onto his hat, Victor stepped out onto the streets of Springfield just in time for a massive gust of wind to hit him and nearly blow his hat off.Damn wind. Why'd I move this far north anyway? Victor thought to himself as he walked back to his apartment. Victor hurried so that he wouldn't get stuck in the foot traffic that was coming any minute now. 4:53. I can make it, Victor always liked this challenge: could he get home without seeing five people on the street? Ten? Twenty? Could he beat his record of six minutes forty three seconds (set on a day where a full bladder and stop watch joined in perfect unity). All these useless bets and time trials were just set up to distract him from one thing: his dreams tonight. Every day he had a session with Dr.Zhar, he always dreamed about horses. Don't ask him why, but he did. Of course, the person he was paying to help with this very fear happened to find this extremely funny. So, it fell to Victor to make sure he didn't obsess over what was to come. Sighing, Victor picked up the pace: tonight felt like a record breaker. "Damn. Thirty seconds!" Victor lamented as he unlocked his door and stopped the timer. Victor braced himself for what was coming, and got a mouthful of it: dog kisses. "Alright, I missed you too, Spike." Victor ruffled the great danes' ears, trying to not fall over with the full 150 pounds of dog shoving into him, "Spike, couch!" Obedient as ever, the hulking dog padded over to the leather couch, and sighed as he slumped onto it, taking up all of the space. Victor chuckled as he hung up his jacket and hat. Walking into the living room, he switched on the tv. A cheesy soap opera filed the screen, right in the middle of a big ol' kissing scene. "You do love your soaps, don't ya?" Spike's eyes turned toward his master for a second, then went back to the screen, "You know, I think the tv is finally starting to rot your brains out." Spike just gave a humph and wagged his tail, slapping Victor's leg Victor went about his nightly routine, grading his students papers, which seemed to be getting worse and worse as the school year went on (Ah, the wonderful minds of remedial science, he thought as he slapped a big, red 42 on a test), cooking dinner for Spike and himself (a waste of money maybe, but Victor knew what was in dog food and didn't want his dog feasting on fake meat while he had a steak), and surfing the internet. This last action had taken on a dangerous edge to it recently, though: more and more often, Victor had tumbled upon pictures and videos about a little girls show, which, unfortunately for Victor, had horses, or more accurately ponies, as the main characters. Victor tried to ignore these, but the seemed to be popping up everywhere he went: YouTube, Reddit, even Memebase. Around eleven, Victor looked at the clock. "Alright, might as well get this over with. Spike, bed!" While the dane settled into his side of the bed (which more often than not included most of Victors), Victor showered, brushed, and prepared himself for the things he was about to see. Even going as slowlt as he could, Victor only ate up about half an hour. Turning to Spike as he settled into bed, Victor said, "Wish me luck." But all the luck in the world couldn't help what Victor was about to go through. * * * "HEYA TWILGHT!" "GAH!" The unicorn jumped straight up into the air, obviously from her pink friends sudden appearance behind her. Or maybe it was from the fact that she SCREAMED so suddenly, "SPIKE, INITIATE PLAN W! GET THE- oh, wait," Twilight turned around, and saw that it was just Pinkie Pie, being... well, Pinkie Pie, and not an assassin or something along those lines, "Hi Pinkie." "HI TWILIGHT!" Pinkie screamed, despite being about a foot away from Twilight. Oblivious to the I'm-seriously-considering-turning-you-into-a-frog look that Twilight was giving her, Pinkie had her usual smile on her face. Twilight furrowed her brow. "Pinkie, why are you yelling?" Twilight deadpanned. She had very important things to be doing for the Princess, and, while Pinkie was always fun to be around, she needed to concentrate. "WHAT?" Pinkie yelled, even louder, if that was possible. "I said- wait." Twilight took her front hoof and twisted her friends head to the side. Let's see... yep, just as I thought, Twilight levitated a spoon to dig the foodstuff that was stuck in Pinkies ear out. Once she was done digging, and Pinkie had stopped giggling, Twilight said, "Pinkie, did you fall asleep onto a cake again?" Pinkie's ears flattened at the mention of the time she had passed out onto a cake she was helping decorate. It had cost her a months ban from babysitting the Cake babies. "No, Rainbow Dash thought it would be funny to put cupcakes on my ears and see if I would notice while I was asleep." Twilight turned back to the book she had been looking over, "Are you sure she did it just as a joke, or did you make her mad again?" Pinkie blushed, "Well... hey, what're you doing?" Pinkie tried to get away from the question. Rainbow Dash hadn't been in the best mood exactly yesterday when Pinkie (quite accidentally) dropped her signed picture of Soarin out the window of Rainbow Dash's house. "I am trying to make the final preparations to a very important spell the Princess wants me to try." The unicorn said, putting emphasis on the word trying. "Oh, what's the spell do, what's the spell do?" Pinkie jumped up and down: whenever Twilight had a really big spell, something fun always happened. Like that time Twilight accidentally grew a beaver 100 times its size and it almost destroyed Ponyville, or that time it had rained ice cream for a week (that was almost as good as Discord's chocolate milk rain, but now that he was better Discord let Pinkie have her own rainstorm whenever she wanted one), or that time... "Well, Princess Celestia recently discovered that space time makes our universe a lentelognogramic polygon, capable of connecting with other multihexodynamic polygons and geosynchonate shapes of space time. So, with the proper bending of space time-" Twilight opened her eyes from her recitation of fancy science words to see smoke coming out of Pinkies ears, probably from trying to understand what she was saying. Sighing, Twilight simplified, "It's a spell that could let us go into other dimensions." At this Pinkie perked right back up. "Oh oh oh! Can I help, pretty please with sugar cubes on top?" Pinkie Pie begged, clutching at Twilight's hooves. "No." Pinkie's face crumpled in sadness, but perked right back up when Twilight said, "because I'm already done preparing. I just have to do the actual magic." "CanIwatchcanIwatchcanIwatchcanI-" A purple hoof in her mouth stopped Pinkie's flood of words. "Yes." Twilight stepped into a chalk circle she had drawn on the floor, and inhaled deeply. "Wish me luck." But all the luck in the world couldn't prepare Twilight for what was about to happen. Author's Note POSITIVE criticism is greatly appreciated!
Chapter 1“Hmph…” Pinkie rubbed her eyes. She must’ve drifted off again. You’d think this’d be more exciting, Pinkie thought, her hyperactivity not quite turned back on yet. Twilight had started the spell around noon, and Pinkie could see the sun was setting now. All of the others had come and went, only the party pony deciding she wanted to see the spell completed. Discord had even stopped by, but he grew bored after Twilight hadn’t even batted an eyelash at her mane turning neon green. Pinkie stretched, and stared at the wall, quite bored. Twilight, on the other hand, was anything but bored. It was taking her far longer than she thought it would, but she could feel the effects of the spell coming: a magical rift in the very space time would open right in the library. And it was close. Twilight had had to delay whenever she heard one of her friends come in. Twilight was sure that she was going to cast the spell correctly, but on the off chance she didn’t, she didn’t want any of her friends around to be possibly hurt (although she had considered purposely miscasting the spell when Discord decided to play hair dresser, but thought better of it). Sure that Pinkie had finally left, Twilight let out a final surge of magic. CRACK A sudden gust of magical wind surged outward, nocking Twilight off her hooves. Glancing up, the unicorn smiled: hovering in the air was a swirling mass of magic, rippling with special energy. Pinkie clapped her hooves. “Do it again, do it again!” Pinkie stared at the magic, a strange feeling starting to form in her tummy. It certainly looked magic, but Pinkie wasn’t exactly, 120% sure that it was a hole in space time. She knew a thing or two about those. “Um, Twilight, did you do it right?” Twilight glanced back at her friend, more annoyed at the fact that she had just questioned her magic than the fact that she was still there, “Of course I did it-“ BOOM. Another gust of wind blew outwards. CRRCKSHPT…. Twilight glanced up from the protection of her hooves, and gasped: there was a crack, a quite literal CRACK, in the air where the portal had been. Oh no no no no no no. What did I do wrong? Twilight was so caught up in her panic that she didn’t even notice the form that was lying on her library’s floor. Pinkie, however, did. “Uh, Twilight, wh-what’s that?” Pointing, Pinkie looked at her friend, who obviously hadn’t heard her. Twilight had her hooves to her ears, muttering something. “Did I not weave the streams together enough? Was I not supposed to cross the streams until I had thought of the world I wanted to connect to? Was it-“ POOF Both ponies ducked as a final wave of magical wind swept over them, this one the strongest yet, knocking some of the books off the shelves. After a few minutes, Twilight realized that she was not in fact dead, and she was very much not being torn to shreds by magic or…anything. Slowly raising her head, Twilight peeked out at the library. The crack was gone. Sighing, Twilight stood up, “It’s ok Pinkie, it’s ok.” The earth pony sprung up and hugged her friend. “omigoshomigoshomigoshTwilight!IthoughtwewerefinallydoneforandthatIwouldn’teverbeabletoseeyouorRarityorApplejackoranyoftheotherseveragainandthatwewouldbeeatenupbysomehorriblemonsterliketheoneonyourflooror-“ Twilight’s ears pricked up at that last part. “Pinkie, what monster on my floor?” Twilight looked down, thinking that Pinkie had finally lost it. “Th-that one over there.” Pinkie pointed to below where the portal had just been, a bead of sweat running down her face now. Pinkie did not often get scared, but her Pinkie senses were a-tingling. Twilight turned her head. Celestia be damned, there was something there. At first glance it looked like a long pile of Rarity’s discarded fabric, but it was slowly moving up and down. At least I didn’t kill it, Twilight felt relieved that she didn’t have another death on her hooves. Twilight stepped closer, while Pinkie edged away. At one end of the thing there was a pile of fur that almost looked like Winnona curled up into a very small ball. About midway down the creature there was what looked like hands: pink ones, with rounded ends of the fingers, where claws would be on Spike. Other than that, it was hard to see any of it, as a blanket had somehow got on top of it. Twilight bent down to move the vision obscuring cloth. “No! It might wake up!” Pinkie screamed. The creature’s eye opened. * * * A scream jolted Victor awake. Ugh…what time is it, Victor tried to turn his head, but was unpleasantly surprised to find his head was resting on something very hard, which was definitely not his pillow. Opening his eyes, Victor tried to take in his surroundings. Bookshelves, some with large gaps in its books, were the first thing he recognized. Dammit, I fell off the bed again, Victor looked closer at the books: something wasn’t right… He didn’t remember his books being such vibrant colors. Ok, maybe I’ve got gunk in my eyes, moving his hand to rub his face. Victor’s eardrums were suddenly assaulted. What Victor heard could only be described as a scream, but no scream Victor had ever heard. So high pitched an opera singer would be jealous, the disgruntled Victor had to restrain himself from blocking his ears from the noise. Victor pushed himself up, glancing at what he was laying on: hardwood flooring. Which would have confirmed the fact that he had fallen of his bed… if Victor’s apartment had hardwood flooring. It had tile. “Where the hell am I?” Victor snapped his head up: he was DEFINENTLY not in Kansas anymore. Aside from the difference in flooring, the candle chandelier was the most obvious tip off that he had woken up somewhere very different than he had fallen asleep. Next on the growing list of differences was: a ladder that appeared to be made of thick tree branches, numerous books scattered across the solid wood floor, a wooden table dominated by a large wooden statue of a horse’s head, and what appeared to be gibberish scrawled in an open book across from him. Victor pushed himself to his feet, and closed his eyes. Alright, collect yourself. It doesn't look like anyone’s around, but whoever kidnapped you is probably close by, Victor’s analytic side of the brain was running full circuit now, is there anyone who would want me dead? … Maybe my ex-girlfriends, but I doubt they’d go this far. So whoever did this doesn't know me. That could mean this was random, they mistook me for someone else, or I have a stalker who decided to take it to the next level. So, the best plan is to run for it and hope I’m close to someone who can help... I’m screwed. No, got to stay positive. So I’ll just stay very quiet and hope no one find’s me. Victor turned around. Two horses looked at him. … ..Wait… …HORSES?!?!?!?! “GAH!” Victor flew backwards, knocking hard into the bookshelf. Ok, whoever did this knows me. Dick move with the horses. “S-stay back. N-nice hoses… pretty horses.” Victor’s eyes darted around the room, taking in the rest of the room ,his heart beating fast enough to give a jet plane a run for its money: The two horses (Does that one have a horn? Is that one PINK?) were staring at him, mouths open. The…pink one was half hidden behind an upturned desk, while the purple one was just standing there. There was a window to his far left, and Victor saw that it was almost night, and that there looked like there were houses outside. Alright, so there are people around. Now where to… Victor saw the only exit: a stairway, blocked by the two horses …go. Crap. As if this couldn't get any weirder, the purple one (which, upon further inspection, had some eerily human traits, not to mention a horn) actually smiled and started whinnying to the other one, which seemed to respond. Are they talk- one thing at a time. “L-look at how pretty you are,” Victor edged towards the door, the horses eyes following him. It might have just been the adrenaline, but they looked smaller than horses should be, “I’m just gonna go now, so you be- GOOD!” Victor shouted this last part as he ran and jumped over the horse (thank you track and field), which inhaled like it was gasping. Almost sticking the landing, Victor heard another loud whinny behind him, but didn’t look back. All he cared about was leaving, and come hell or high water, he was out of there. Despite almost slipping on his wool socks, Victor made it down the stairs almost without incident, only slowing to jump something that was running up the stairs. Victor didn’t care what it was, but in the fleeting glance he got, it looked like a purple bipedal lizard. Don’t care, running. Glancing around, Victor spotted the exit. Gunning it, Victor opened it and hauled butt out side. Looking left and right, Victor saw his nightmares had finally come true: despite obviously being in a town of some sort, he was surrounded by horses, all of which glanced at him and produced to do the horse equivalent of scream. I really hope this is a dream, Victor thought as he resumed his flight of terror. Through the streets of the horse town he went, weaving in and out of the horrifying crowds. Terror would have seized his mind, but running at full sprint and not touching any of the animals didn't leave any room for fear to go. Just when he thought his lungs would burst, he saw salvation: a path into a forest. Just as he was about to put everything he had into a final sprint, Victor skidded to a halt. About ten feet in front of him was an orange horse wearing a hat. WEARING A HAT. Despite the liters of adrenaline and liquid terror coursing through his veins, and the building sense of doom running through his mind, Victor couldn’t but help crack a smile: besides looking kind of cute, a hat definitely meant there were people around to put the hat on the horse, maybe people that would help him. But first things first: Getting the hell out of wherever he was. The horse stared right back at him for about ten seconds, until Victor took off sprinting again, running as if his life depended on it. Glancing back, Victor thought for a second that, of all things, the horse was waving at him. “I’m going insane.” Victor said to himself as he hauled it into the forest. * * * Applejack put down her hoof. Why the hay had she just waved to a creature running through town like a pack of Timber Wolves was on its tail? Maybe the late night walk through town wasn’t the best idea. “Well…stranger things have happen’d.” And with that, Applejack walked home.
Chapter 2“Ah still think this is a tad bit over reacting.” Applejack said, scanning over the three chalkboards Twilight had filled with intricate plans. Ever since last night when the creature showed up, the whole town had been in a tizzy. The mayor had even called an emergency town meeting, and Princess Celestia had been told about what was happening (though she seemed more concerned about the spell that brought it here than the creature itself). Now a new scouting party was going out every hour on the hour, and Twilight was working herself into a lather. Applejack had decided that it was best to pretend she hadn't seen the thing charge into the Everfree. “OVER REACTING? Applejack, look at what that…that THING did to Pinkie Pie!” Twilight pointed at the pink pony, who was in a fetal position, leaning against Fluttershy. Pinkie had lost it when the beast charged her, and fainted on the spot. Since regaining consciousness, she hadn't said a word or reacted to really anything. “Still…” Applejack didn’t know why she was defending the thing anyways. Maybe it was her good nature kicking in, but it just felt like the thing, whatever it was, hadn’t done anything wrong. “I must agree with Twilight on this one Applejack,” said Rarity, taking her eyes off the blanket the creature had left, which she had been studying ever since the six of them had met at the library, “While I’m sure it isn’t dangerous, I feel we should simply have this nonsense done with. All these adventures have already taken far too much time out of my planning for the summer fashion season, and I simply have a mountain of orders to fill at the moment.” Rainbow Dash put down the book she had been reading, “Who cares about some silly thing that ran through town? It didn’t do anything anyways. Besides, weren’t you trying to summon something from some other dimension, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but smile at Twilights conflicted face. She might not act like it, but Rainbow was pretty fast on the uptake. “Yes- no-well…it doesn’t matter what I was trying to do! A creature is loose somewhere near Ponyville, and we need to catch it!” A soft throat clearing interrupted what was most likely going to be another rant from Twilight about messing with her friends (as if the point hadn’t been hammered in during the last three). “Umm, Twilight… Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” Fluttershy said, continuing to rock Pinkie Pie back and forth like a foal. “No, I am being realistic!” Twilight shook her hooves in exasperation. Fluttershy had been her worst enemy today: ever since the meeting, Fluttershy had been the most vocal against hunting down the creature, like she had some kind of loyalty towards it. Fluttershy frowned at her (at the moment) mentally unstable friend. “This is no time to panic.” “This is the perfect time to panic!” Twilight turned towards her chalkboards, going over her intricate plans once again. “If it isn’t time to panic when a deranged creature from another dimension terrorizes the town, then there IS no time to panic!” Twilights’ eyes shifted around the room, as if looking for threats, “I think we need to get the Elements and call a Code F.” Applejack sighed. “Twilight, we agreed that we wouldn’t use a Code F unless a majoritay-” Applejack’s tongue stumbled over the big word , “Until most of us agreed that we needed to.” Applejack had never liked the thought of using the Elements willy-nilly, and had strong hoofed her friends into setting up the democratic system for using them unless it was clear that they needed to. “Fine! I call a Code F emergency vote!” Twilight shouted, “Yay!” “Yay.” Rarity said, returning her attention to the fabric. “Neigh.” Rainbow Dash turned a page. “Neigh.” Fluttershy said. “Neigh, and even if we DO decide tah’ use the Elements, Pinkie’s in no shape to.” Applejack frowned: despite being such a level headed, bookwormish pony, Twilight could get a little hot headed at times. The unicorn snorted. “Fine. Fluttershy, use the radio and check in with Spike.” Spike, upon request from Twilight, had taken her hot air balloon to scan from the air. It may not have been the best idea the group could have come up with, but Spike had been raring to go after a few encouraging words from Rarity, and had taken off like nopony’s business. “Alright.” Shifting Pinkie’s weight, Fluttershy picked up the walkie talkie which connected with Spike’s, “This is Treefort Six to Red Dragon Five: do you copy? Over.” Fluttershy sighed as she said the ridiculous names: if Spike was going to play hero, he should at least take it seriously. After a few seconds of static, the radio reply came back, “This is Red Dragon Five to Treefort Six: Twilight, I think I’ve got something. Over.” Twilight snatched the walkie talkie from her friends hoof, who squeaked in surprise. “Treefort Six to Red Dragon Five: WHERE IS IT!?!...Over.” A moment of silence came from the radio. “…Red Dragon Five to Treefort Six: There’s no need to yell Twilight. And it’s heading towards Canterlot on the banks of the Hoof River. Over.” Twilight’s grinned looked like it could have split her face in two, “Treefort Six to Red Dragon Five: Keep visual contact with target, reinforcements are on their way. Over.” “Red Dragon Five to Treefort Six: I copy. I will maintain sight of the target until reinforcements arrive. Over and out.” Static blared from the walkie talkie as Spike turned his end off. The unicorn turned to her friends, a dangerous glint in her eyes, “Let’s go kill-catch us a monster.” With varying states of sighs and eye rolls, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash got up and headed towards the door. Hurrying to get out there and give this thing the beating it deserved, Twilight turned back towards Fluttershy, who had made no move to leave, “You and Pinkie gonna be ok?” Fluttershy smiled, “We’ll be fine. I’ll get her up to my cottage, and she can rest there.” Fluttershy motioned for the four of them to leave, “I’ll get Discord to cheer her up. She’ll be her old self in no time.” I hope, Fluttershy thought to herself. Twilight wasn’t exactly sure Discord could be trusted to handle Pinkie in her current state, but more important things were on her mind. “Alright, we’ll meet you there,” Kicking up her front hooves, Twilight shouted, “We’re off!”, and the four ponies galloped away. Sighing, Fluttershy looked down to her friend, still somewhere in Lala Land. “Come on Pinkie, let’s go.” Fluttershy nudged her friend to her hooves, and began the long journey to her cottage. * * * IhatehorsesIhatehorsesIhatehorsesIhatehorses, Victor thought to himself as he peeked around the tree he was hiding behind. Victor had learned three things during the long night: One, this was definitely not a dream, no matter how hard he tried to make himself think it was; Two, he was definitely not on Earth anymore, given the fact that he had ran away from a wolf made out of wood, seen horses in every color of the rainbow, some of which had a horn or wings, and some kind of insect that reproduced by belching its offspring directly into his face; and Three, THE HORSES WERE HUNTING HIM. There was no other way to explain it: the horses were organized, they were structured, and they had a mission. It’s like Planet of the Apes gone bad, Victor thought as he picked a twig from his t-shirt. Thankfully, it wasn’t the middle of winter wherever the heck he was, or else he would have ended up a man flavored ice cube overnight. Still, his t-shirt, flannel pajamas, and wool socks had taken quite the beating. If this wasn’t bad enough, the hour or so he had had asleep (up a tree, which didn’t help his mood) had been interrupted by another party of horses shouting, or what he assumed was shouting, on the path. Victor was glad that he couldn’t understand what they were saying, because it sounded angry, and his imagination had not helped his heart beat come down much over night. “Alright, let’s think,” Victor whispered aloud as soon as he was sure the horses were far enough away, “The horses are all coming from that way, so my best bet is to go the other way down the road.” Quietly as was physically possible, Victor inched his way through the forest, always keeping the path in sight, and hiding whenever he heard another group coming. Slowly, ever so slowly, he made his way through the forest, with more scrapes and close calls than he could keep track of. After what felt like forever, but was more like an hour or so, Victor looked up from his now tattered socks, and saw salvation: A small house, with no horses anywhere around it. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Victor muttered to himself, edging towards the road. Slowly poking his head out, he looked down the road: nothing in sight. Getting the first good feeling he had had since he saw Hat Horse, Victor steeled himself. You can do it, just run and get into the house. Anything would be better than these damnable horses. Taking a final breath, Victor zoomed across the dirt road. The frantic run only lasted about five seconds, but it felt like he was running a marathon to Victor. This is what war probably feels like, Victor thought as he reached the wooden door of the house, slamming it open and closed. Almost not believing he had really done it, Victor slowly looked around: it was a house, nothing really crazy about it. There were a lot of bird houses and tiny staircases around, but considering what he had seen in the past day, it was about as strange as tusks on an elephant. Finally, after hours on the run from murderous horses, he was safe. Sighing, Victor slumped on the ground finally able to rest. Alright, I’m safe. Victor looked at the room more closely: it seemed as if the room was one big piece of wood, almost like a tree had been carved out to make the home. Victor was surprised to see that birds flew in and out of the room almost at will, all of them vibrant colors. Alright, that’s a tad weird… Oh, great, I’m in a hippies place. The total lack of technology confirmed his suspicion that a nature loving tree hugger called this place home; the most advanced thing he could see were picture frames, all of which seemed to hold pictures of the demon horses that were currently on the look for him. Gotta hand it to the guy, it takes balls to live around so many horses. Maybe he trained them... Yeah, that’s it. Victor had had the thought that the horses were sentient or something after he saw how organized they were, but them being trained was much more likely. Victor stood up to examine the photos more closely: lots of them were of one yellow horse with a tattoo of butterfly’s on its butt surrounded by other animals, while a group of six horses took up a good chunk of the rest of the photos. Damn, he’s the one who’s sicking the horses on me... Now I just need to find him and explain. A sudden noise above his head got Victor’s attention back on the here and now. The sudden sound was coming from almost directly above him, probably from a second floor. Victor gulped. From what he could figure, the hippie had just heard him and was coming downstairs. Victor tried to make himself presentable as he walked over to the stairwell in the corner of the room. Wish me luck. But just as he was inhaling to talk, the man upstairs interrupted him. “What in Celestia’s wide flanks are you making all the noise for, Fluttershy? You know how much I need my beauty rest!” Victor couldn’t decide whether he was happy or scared by the voice: on one hand, he had been right about there being another human around, but on the other, he hadn’t exactly planned what he was going to say to the hippie yet. Trying to sound as calm as possible, he yelled up the stairs. “Actually, sir, I-I happened to see your cabin and thought I would ask for your help.” Victor was starting to get nervous: the man had stopped walking as soon as Victor started talking, “Y-you see, I have no idea where I am, and there are…horses chasing after me, as strange as it may sound.” The man upstairs burst into laughter. “Hahahaha! So you got one of Ponyville’s famous warm welcomes! Haha! Oh, priceless,” The man stopped to catch his breath, “But I think you’ve come to the wrong thing for help, my dear chap.” Victor’s heart skipped a beat; the man was walking down the stairs. Victor stood like a statue as the man’s feet came into view. Or, to be more accurate, the things feet came into view: one looked almost like a deer leg, the other, an overgrown iguanas. “Wh-what are you?” Victor stuttered as the rest of the thing came into view. Victor couldn’t process everything about it fast enough; his mind was just too far gone with panic. The thing was about his height, with what could only be described as a dragons tail trailing behind it. Not one thing was normal about it: aside from the mismatched feet, the things arms, wings, and horns were mismatched, like God had decided to throw the scraps left over from other animals together for a laugh. To top it all off, the creature was dressed in a stripped nightcap and nightgown. The thing stared back at him, a smirk further emphasizing its giant canine tooth. “I could ask the very same of you, my friend. But I,” The thing snapped its fingers, and two self-drumming drums appeared, almost as if to build tension as the thing dramatically paused, “Am Discord, lord and master of all chaos.” Exhaustion and the long night on the run finally caught up to Victor. “Makes about as much sense as anything around here.” Victor managed before he dead fainted. The thing looked down at him. The mismatched creature grinned like the Cheshire cat, and let out a chuckle, imagining all the fun that he was in store for once the thing awoke. Not wanting the creature to get a bad first impression of everything in Ponyville, Discord carried Victor up the stairs, and laid him in Fluttershy’s bed. “And now we wait for the fun to begin!” Discord chuckled as he summoned a bucket of popcorn, munching on it as he waited for the thing to wake up.
Chapter 3… … …Dude, you’re awake. Victor sighed and tried to will himself back into unconsciousness. Not gonna work. Just get up, put your big boy pants on, and figure out a plan, Victor’s mind scolded him as he tried to resist the urge to open his eyes. Finally giving in, Victor opened his eyes. Yup, still in hell on Earth, or where ever the hell this was. “Fine, you win.” Victor muttered to himself as he pushed himself up, and noticed that he was on a bed, albeit a very small one. Well, it beats a tree. Victor shook off the covers and busied himself: Running his hands through his hair, wiping the gunk away from his eyes, anything to delay the inevitable being feed to the crazy horses by the… thing that was probably downstairs, waiting to torture him before sicking his crazy horses on him once again. Suddenly, Victor heard something marching up the stairs. “Wakey wakey my odd little friend! Well, what you think, pretty good transformation, given the lack of reference?” Victor looked over Discord’s new form. He had actually come pretty close to looking like a human, but a few things were off, mainly his horns and eyes not changing. Discord had even clothed himself in an oversized trench coat and pair of pants that were brown wool on the left, and green chainmail on the right. Victor sighed, “So I guess you really are the lord of chaos?” “Well of course I am! And no needs to sound so negative, uh…what did you say your name was again?” Discord tugged at his goatee, cocking an eyebrow at Victor. “Victor. Victor Harold. Why do you care anyways?” Victor wasn’t even scared at the impending horrify things he was probably going to endure at this things hands. Discord waved a finger at him, which promptly removed itself from his hand to hover right in front of Victor’s nose. “Tsk tsk tsk. No need to be rude.” “Well excuse me for not being in a good mood after getting chased though a forest by demonic horses all night, and captured by some insane creature to boot!” Victor was getting impatient: he almost wanted to just get whatever was going to happen over with. Discord, being Discord, found Victor’s outburst to be a laugh and a half. “Hahaha! So, I’m not the only thing those ponies aren’t sugary sweet with, huh?” Discord casually started to walk on the ceiling. “Well you can go straight to- wait, what?” Victor thought he had just heard that this Discord wasn’t the one in charge of the horses. Discord rolled his eyes, “Please. If you think one night of running through the Everfree is bad, you should try being trapped in stone for a thousand plus years. One word: Bohr-ring!” Discord pushed back his hair. Victor was trying not to, but he was getting a good feeling in his gut about this guy, “So, you’re not in charge of the horses? You didn’t sick ‘em on me?” “ SPPRT ---- BWAHAHAHAHA!” Discord did a spit take, spitting about a gallon of chocolate milk out the window, “M-me? In charge of THEM? Hahaha, y-you must be crazier than me!” Discord clutched his stomach, trying to maintain himself. After almost a full minute, he had finally stopped laughing enough to talk again, “n-no, I didn’t so far as know a thing about you until you came barging into the house. Although I must admit, I haven’t had this much of a laugh since I turned all of Equestrias water into vinegar! And then the whole maze with the Elements of Harmony- good stuff.” Victor was half smiling himself by this point, “The Elements of Harmony? Sounds like a sunshine and lollipop band for kids.” “HAHAHA! St-stop, you’re cracking me up!” Discord quite literally cracked up, breaking into pieces as if he had never returned from being a statue. With a snap of the fingers, Discord put himself together, only to laugh some more. Victor couldn’t help it, Discord’s laugh was contagious. He started snickering, which only made Discord laugh more, which of course sent Victor into hysterics. Soon, both of them were writhing on the floor, faces red. This went on for a few minutes, neither of them able to contain themselves for long until they busted out laughing once again. “ohh…” Discord sighed, clutching his sides. Now THIS makes up for having to be a goody two shoes all the time! “Alright, no more…no more.” Victor propped himself up, taking deep breaths. The two of them sat their in silence for a moment, regaining their breath. Finally, Victor said, “Well, good to know not everything around here wants to kill me.” Discord smiled, “Oh, you are being far too kind! You’re making me blush!” Victor looked at Discord: two large packets of blush were pasting themselves onto Discord cheeks, making him look like a Barbie gone horribly wrong. Victor chuckled, which almost brought about a second laugh attack, but Discord managed to hold himself together. With a snap, the makeup disappeared, “And as much as we have disagreed in the past, I very much doubt that these ponies want to kill you. They’d probably faint if you some much as hinted at the possibility.” Victor pushed his hair out of his face, “Then why were they chasing me all night?” “Because, my comical cohort,” Discord glanced up at Victor, “as much as the ponies deny it, they are ever so fearful of anything not like them.” Discord stood up, straightening his new clothing, “If you think this was bad, you should see what they do to Changelings. And don’t even get me started on Griffons!” “So you’re saying that these hor-ponies hate anything that isn’t them?” Victor’s heart beat was racing back to its fever pitch: this was not good news for him. “While I would not use the word hate, you, unfortunately, are not far off the mark. It would take a miracle to get them to trust you.” Discord started to say more, but was interrupted. A creaking sound followed by hooves clacking on wood signaled that a horse had made its way into the house. A series of chittering and other… horse noises seemed to grab Discord attention, almost as if he could understand it. Victor and Discord both went wide eyed, but for vastly different reasons. This is it, this is how I die! God damn it, I knew it’d be something with horses in it! Victor thought, with the panic setting back in with full force. Discord, however, smiled at the interruption. “Luckily for you, miracles are one of my specialities.” Discord winked at Victor, and, with a snap, reverted into his original form, “Wish me luck.” I’m gonna die, Victor thought as Discord went down the stairs. * * * “That’s it, nice and easy.” Fluttershy guided Pinkie Pie onto the couch. The walk from Ponyville had taken far longer than she had expected; the sun was nearly setting. Pinkie hadn’t recovered much from the shock; she was still walking like a zombie, not really reacting to anything around her. Fluttershy heard the stairs creak. “It is about time you got home! Three kids to feed and you’re off gallivanting with your friends.” Never wasting the chance for a good laugh, Discord had changed into a poofy blonde wig and apron, and had three baby ponies snuggled against his chest, one of which started crying, “There, now you’ve gone and done it! And I had just got them settled down.” Fluttershy smiled: Discord certainly made things livelier around the cottage, “That’s very funny Dissypoo, but Pinkie here needs quiet.” Discord frowned at Fluttershy’s smile: she knew he was sensitive about that nickname. “I wish you wouldn’t call me that in front of company,” Discord snapped away his costume and kids, and walked over to the couch, “And to what do we owe the honor of the company of the best element of harmony?” Discord realized too late that Pinkie was definitely not herself, and got a look that bordered on The Stare from Fluttershy. But, her nurturing instincts over throwing her agitation, Fluttershy returned her attention to Pinkie. “Oh, one of Twilights spells went wrong, and some terrible creature gave her a scare.” Fluttershy put a very sarcastic tone on the word terrible. Ah, so that’s what got the town in such a fret. Naughty naughty my dear Victor, Discord thought with a smile. “And what, may I be so bold as to ask, is oh so terrifying about this beast?” Discord raised his voice, hoping that Victor was getting an earful of the conversation, “What could it do that was so bad. No, wait! Let me guess… Did it denounce the magic of friendship? No! … Did it touch Rainbow Dash’s hooves? Or…oh the horror, the horror! Did it deface one of Twilights precious books?” Fluttershy rolled her eyes at Discord increasingly dramatic reactions. “No, apparently the thing was in the library with Pinkie and Twilight, and it charged them and ran out of town.” Fluttershy rubbed her back: she was not a strong pony, and Pinkie had been dead weight all the way to the cottage, “Twilight’s pretty freaked out. She and most of the town seem to want to find and k-k-destroy whatever it is.” Fluttershy couldn’t make herself say the K word, even if it was about some extra dimensional beast. “Well I’m sure that is a rampant over reaction,” Discord continued to almost shout, “I’m sure whatever this thing is it means absolutely no harm to anypony.” If that doesn’t get me some good boy points with dear Victor I may just sick the elements on him for real. Hehe, now wouldn’t that be fun…No, better not. Celestia knows how long I’d be statued for if I did. Fluttershy sighed, “I wish everypony else saw it that way, Discord. If I had just managed to speak up at the town meeting, none of this would be happening…” Discord swooped in before Fluttershy could get too far into her self-loathing. “Now now my precious Flutters, don’t blame yourself,” Discords eyes widened as he sensed an opportunity arising, “In fact, I think I have the perfect opportunity for you to help remedy this whole situation.” Fluttershy sniffed, pushing tears back. She always got weepy during…this time of the month, and this whole fiasco wasn’t helping, “W-what do you mean?” “Weeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllll… how to put this?” Discord puzzled over how to say that at that very moment the extra dimensional beast, which was causing so much chaos in town that Discord would normally be jealous of it, if the situation wasn’t the way it was, was within earshot of Fluttershy. “Spit it out already, silly!” Fluttershy smiled: Discord was such a hoot as long as he wasn’t causing world shattering chaos every second. Discord smiled back. “Very well. HCCCCCCKK …PHOOO!” Discord spat a very wet, very angry Angel onto the floor, who shook his paw at the draconeqqus and hopped off. Fluttershy smirked and rolled her eyes, “Oh, not literally. Very well. I…may or may not know where this so called creature is, and may be able to talk it into trusting you enough so you could shelter it. For the time being, at least.” This wiped the smirk right of the pegaus’s face. “M-m-me? T-take care of it? I- no, Fluttershy, you can do this!” Fluttershy reassured herself, puffing out of her chest. Pinkie shifted slightly in her sleep, reminding the pair that she was still there. “So you’ll do it, my ever so brave buddy?” “I’ll do it!” Fluttershy looked around, “So, where is the poor thing?” A glint flashed through Discords eyes, “Closer than you’d think,” Discord turned around to the stairs, “Oh Victor, come down here!”
Chapter 4“Oh Victor, come down here!” Alright Victor, time to put on your big boy pants. Victor gulped and began ever so slowly advancing towards the stairs. Victor had heard the entire conversation that Discord and the horse (hopefully it was just one horse and not horses) had just had. Of course, understanding only one side of the conversation hadn’t exactly helped calm his nerves, but from what Discord had been saying, it seemed like if there was a shot that he’d survive all this craziness, this was it. So, taking a deep breath, Victor began the decent down the stairs. Victor moved with deliberate slowness, not overly eager to come face to face with another one of the demon horses. But, as much as Victor might have wanted it to, going down a flight of stairs doesn’t take very long, especially when the stairs, if not the entire house, seemed to be designed for children and not a full grown man. Making sure he didn’t make any sudden movements, Victor stepped onto the first floor of the cottage. …Alright, there’s not a horse violently ripping out my vital organs like a velociraptor. That’s a step in the right direction. Victor heard what could almost be described as a gasp come from his left. Slowly, moving ever so deliberately, Victor turned to face the creator of the sound. Discord was standing about two or three feet from the stair case, and was staring at him, a grin plastered on his face, both arms dramatically pointed towards him. About five or so feet away from Discord, however, was a blonde horse with a light pink mane and tail. The horse had one of its front hooves in front of its snout, almost like it was covering the fact that it was gaping at him. A pair of the same yellowish colored wings sprouted from the horses back. Discord turned back to face the horse. “Fluttershy, this is Victor,” Discord turned toward the human, “Victor, meet Fluttershy.” Almost out of reflex, Victors hand shot up and waved towards the horse, which hesitantly returned the gesture. I’m getting tired of saying this, but could things get any weirder? Almost as if he heard the thought, Discord got a grin on his face. “Now now, no need to be so shy. Shake hooves like civilized… things.” Discord stretched both his arms out like taffy, and pushed the human and pony together, both of them resisting as if their life depended on it. Unfortunately, Discord wasn’t exactly a weakling, so all the struggling accomplished nothing. The horse snorted something at Discord. He rolled his eyes, “No, I can guarantee you he won’t do anything brash. Or at least if he does, I’ll be a pal and stop him. Now shake hooves.” Tentatively, Fluttershy reached one of her hooves up. Matching her unwillingness, Victor slowly wrapped his hand around her outstretched hoof. Dontfreakoutdontfreakoutdontfreakout… Victor thought as he slowly shook the horses hoof up and down, letting go as soon as he could. Discord smiled, “There, now we all know each other. That wasn’t so bad, now was it Victor?” Victor looked down at his feet, “n-no… it wasn’t.” Fluttershy suddenly whinnied something to Discord. “Yes, that’s him talking,” Discord paused to let Fluttershy respond, “How in the world would I know that! I don’t have the luxury of hearing different languages.” “What was that Discord? Y-you don’t hear language?” Victor was very confused, but this was a feeling that he was quickly getting accustomed to. Discord turned towards him, “Yes. Being the lord of chaos does have its disadvantages, now doesn’t it? No need for a translator with little ol’ me around.” Victor furrowed a brow, “You’re welcome, by the way. I’d love to know where you would be if it were not for the lovely and fabulous me’s translating abilities!” Discord harrumph-ed, crossing his arms. The horse simply rolled its eyes. “S-so… what do we do know?” Victor asked, casually leaning away from the hor- Fluttershy. Victor couldn’t be sure, but he thought that Fluttershy was doing the same. “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell… I hate to do this to you, but I’m going to have to leave you two lovebirds alone for a while.” “WHAT!” Victor shouted. “NEIGH!” Fluttershy got a bug eyed look on its face that mirrored Victor’s own. Discord chuckled, a grin nearly splitting his face in half, “Oh, stop it you two. If you were any more entertaining I’d follow you around all day! But, alas,” Discord assumed a dramatic pose, “As a god, and a benevolent one at that, it is my job to help those I can.” The horse whinnied at Discord, who shook his head at it, “Yes, well I might as well be a god. Celestia knows I’m powerful enough. But I’m ranting. And besides,” Discord turned towards the pegasus, “Would you prefer me to not go get those goody four shoes friends of yours? Hmm?” The horse turned its eyes at the floor, blushing slightly. After a series of… horse noises (Victor couldn’t decide whether they were whinnies, neighs, or some other onomatopoeia for a sound a horse makes), the horse looked back at Victor. Good God, that thing is creepy… wait… “You’re going for more of these… horses?!” Victor had to restrain himself from calling the pastel ponies ‘things’, “Don’t you think that’s… pushing it?” “As much as I do hate to admit it, I have absolutely no idea what to do with you, lad. See? Not one idea,” Discord said as he cracked open his skull, showing it to be empty, “so, I think that we may have to get Fluttershys friends involved.” At this point, both Victor and Fluttershy burst out in a string of chatter, both of them trying to talk Discord out of this. “Please Discord, you have to understand something. I… I kind of have this, this thing with horses. They… they freak me out.” At this, Discord perked up. “Oh ho! Really? My bipedal friend, you just keep getting more interesting!” Discord elbowed Victor, as Fluttershy stopped her torrent of objections to listen to what Discord was saying, “If anything, I had my money being on these ponys being afraid of you, not the other way around!” “Yes, well…” Victor wasn’t sure he liked the look in Discords eyes. While he knew he shouldn’t, what with Discord literally being chaos given physical form, Victor trusted the guy. But the glint in his eyes gave Victor a sense of dread. Discord stroked his goatee, glancing at Victor, then Fluttershy, then back at Victor. Finally, he let out a sigh, “Well, I GUESS I could be convinced to postpone doing anything. BUT! I still think it would not only be hilarious, but smart to go get somepony else to help with this mess.” Victor let out what could have easily been the largest sigh ever let out by a human ever; it felt like a boulder that was sitting on top of a mountain that was supported by four elephants that were on his chest had just gotten lift off of Victor, “Y’know, you’re a lot of a better friend than most humans I knew back home. What’d you do to get… what happened to you? Stuck in a statue?” Discord giggled, “Oh, now there is a story. You see…” * * * After Discord finished regaling Victor with the abridged version of how he got trapped in stone, when he broke out, and how he was reformed, the odd trio settled down into their daily routine, or as close as they could get to it with Victor in the house. Fluttershy took care of her animals, as well as checking in on Pinkie Pie, who somehow remained in a deep sleep throughout the day. Discord kept Victor company, giving him an impromptu show of his chaotic powers, followed by the abridged version of the history of Equestria. Victor was able to keep the topic off of his home, but this proved to be much easier than anticipated, with Discord being a chatterbox all day (even to the point where Victor had to excuse himself to the bathroom to get away from Discords stories. He could not find one). Eventually, the stories devolved into the two of them playing card games, which were almost identical to the ones Victor had on Earth. By the time night came around, Victor, Discord, Angel Bunny, and Elizabeak were wrapped up in a high stakes game of poker. “…I fold.” Victor said, glancing at his pitifully small pile of chips. How in the world a chicken was taking them to cleaners, let alone playing, was beyond him. The only one close to competition for the chicken was Angel, who Victor decided he kind of liked. With him out, the rest showed their hands: Discord with two pair, Angel with a straight, and Elizabeak with… “A FULL HOUSE! Cheater!” Discord pointed a claw at the chicken, who silently slid the pot towards her, despite the death glare Angel was giving her. Fluttershy giggled. “Quite, Discord. Pinkie had a rough day.” “Oh yes, lying on the couch and sleeping all day is sooooooooooooo exhausting!” The draconequus said, but in a much lower tone, “there could be a full grown dragon in here and that pony wouldn’t even notice.” “You’re just in a bad mood because you’re losing.” Victor said, grinning at Discord. “Not as bad as you are, chum. Or did you ‘mistake’ the bunny’s pile as yours again?” At that, everyone in the room (with the exception of Pinkie) laughed, remembering that argument, which Victor lost, as well as the following five hands. “Ah, forget you. I’m going to bed.” Victor said, getting up from the floor they were playing on and taking a few steps before remembering that he wasn’t in his apartment. Turning around, he faced Discord, “so… where am I sleeping?” Discord blinked at him for a few seconds, “Wha- oh, oh yeah. Hmm…” Discord got a pair of grinding gears above his head as he tried to think. “He can sleep in my bed.” All the heads in the room turned towards Fluttershy, who had spoken up from her spot on the couch next to her comatose friend. Discord did a spit take (despite not having a drink), and Angel dropped his cards (which Elizabeak promptly looked at). “… Who are you and what have you done with my Fluttershy?” Discord questioned. Victor was lost at his point. Fluttershy grinned, “Stop being a drama queen, Rarity doesn’t need any competition,” this got a laugh from Discord, “I should stay down here with Pinkie Pie to make sure she doesn’t… wake up and find an unpleasant surprise for herself.” After relaying this information to Victor, the human shrugged, “Well, g’night then.” With that, Victor went upstairs. After a few minutes of silence, Discord looked back at the pegasus, “Seriously, Shy. What’s gotten into you?” “What do you mean?” Flutterhsy looked up from Pinkie, who was twitching in her sleep. “What I mean is that you aren’t acting right. The Fluttershy I know would have never let Victor in the house, let alone let him sleep in her bed. The pegasus I know would have fainted the second she laid eyes on him, and ran away to her friends.” “Isn’t that a good thing though?” Discord didn’t like where this conversation was going, “Well, yes, but-“ “But what?” “I… I don’t want to say.” Discord looked back at his cards, but neither of his playmates had done anything with their cards, being too focused on the conversation. “C’mon Dissy. You’re not one to not say what was on your mind.” Fluttershy had a look of almost concern on her face. “It’s- it’s just… this isn’t… you were perfect the way you were. You shouldn’t change. This… isn’t the pegasus I fell in love with.” Fluttershy sighed. Of course this was what this was about. On top of that had happened, Discord had to bring this up. Fluttershy had thought that they agreed to leave this dead and buried after Discords failed attempt at romance. Fluttershy got off of the couch and walked up to Discord, looking him right in the eyes. “Discord, you know I care about you. You know I would never do anything to hurt you. You know I think you’re one of my closest friends,” Fluttershy paused to push down Discords hand, which was rising towards her mane, “and you know I don’t love you. At least, not like that. I’ve told you before. We can’t do this. I care about you too much to let you love me, and see me live my life knowing that one day, far down the line, you would have to see me die. I can’t let you go through that Discord. I care about you too much.” A tear made its way out of Discords eye, “Well… I’ll be going now.” Discord sprung up and walked towards the door. “Discord…” Fluttershy tried to say, but he was already flying away. This was how Discord always reacted when Fluttershy told him what she felt: He stormed off and sulked, sometimes disappearing for days at a time. But he always came back, back to his cheerful, wacky self, until his feelings got the better of him again. Fluttershy sighed. I knew it’d be hard, but why did it have to be like this? Fluttershy slumped back to the couch. I finally get friends, finally get Discord to behave, and THIS. Oh, Celestia… Fluttershy looked at her slumbering friend. “I bet you’d figure out a way to make this work.” Fluttershy pulled the blanket over Pinkie Pie. Trying to forget what had happened, Fluttershy began humming. Eventually, it morphed into song: Hush now, quiet now It's time to go to bed Hush now, quiet now It's time to go to bed Hush now, quiet now It's time to lay your sleepy head Hush now, Quiet now It's time to go to bed. Drifting off to sleep Exciting day behind you Drifting off to sleep Let the joy of dream land find you Hush now quiet now Lay your sleepy head Hush now quiet now It's time to go to bed… A tear dropped to the floor as Fluttershy settled into bed. Above, Victor slept peacefully, forgetting the stress and misery that had been the recent events… Author's Note I have no idea how to play poker. SURPRISE!
