Chapters Kingdom Hearts: The Remnant
The screams were long gone. The sounds of death and ruin had faded to a dull ringing in my ears as I floated, motionless... wherever I was.
If this was death, I could get used to it.
I felt a lurch in my gut as my sense of direction started flip-flopping on which was was “up.” Eventually it settled on one direction in particular and I began to plummet, feet-first. I fell for quite a while. It was impossible to tell how far, as I could see nothing but black, black, and more black until I eventually touched down.
The “ground” made a hollow clank as I landed upright, blinking. The area about me was dimly lit, the only source of light being the ground itself. Said ground was a circular platform of stained glass, depicting a majestic castle built into a mountainside. There was nothing else around, save the abyss beyond my small island.
I carefully took a step, and when the glass proved sturdy enough not to fall through, I walked around the platform, inspecting the design.
It was incredibly well-made. Its style was a masterwork of pattern and geometry. The big question was who made it.
I peered over the edge, seeing that beyond the glass was stone, and beyond the stone was more darkness. Oppressive, binding darkness. I shrunk back from it.
A sound met my ears, wondrous, alien, but largely indescribable. I turned around, trying to identify the source. A bridge had formed, composed of the same beautiful glass material as the floor and connecting to another tower. When I had looked over the side, it was apparent to me that the structure had a base somewhere . The only question was how far down that base was...
Without hesitation, I set upon the bridge. I tried not to look down.
I did anyway. Darn it.
I was on the other side before vertigo could kick in, and had a different pretty picture to gawk at this time. The new image was that of a small thatched-roof village, with crisscrossing dirt paths and a distinctly homey feel to it. Odd, considering I lived in the city most of my life. I cringed.
I didn’t want to think about that right now.
“There are some things in the universe more horrible than we can imagine. A circumstance of extreme injustice, of slaughter on a horrendous scale. From this horror, unknown one, you spring. A beginning fraught with potential, borne of a wretched, nightmarish end. ”
Trust me, mystery voice, I knew all about that.
“What are you, little one? And what could you become? My place is to guide those with great and momentous destinies. But you have none. Your future is as blank as the shadow surrounding you. What shall you inscribe on this tabula rasa, this blank slate? And what shall the worlds say to one who writes his own destiny? ”
I waited to see if this voice was going to answer its own question. I certainly didn’t know...
“I don’t know. ”
Damn it.
“I do know you are the only one capable of answering these questions. Make no mistake -- they are as important to all living things as the very hearts that sustain them. With the answers taken away, nothing is truth or falsity. You shall answer, and your answers shall define you. I would ask if you are prepared to take on such responsibility... but there is no time to be unsure. The burden lies upon you already.
“But do not despair, little one. And do not fear. The key that opens the door lies beyond your grasp, but the door is already laid open for you. Your path is yours alone to decide. I can only suggest you choose wisely. ”
The floor beneath me shone as if backlit by a wall of floodlights. It peaked somewhere around “eye-destroying,” then suddenly went dim once more. In front of me stood two figures, wildly different from each other.
One was a seething quadrupedal mass of white light and fire. Duller orange-red flames coalesced down its back and into the air behind it, creating a flickering, luminescent mane and tail. It was crouched, ready to spring at its counterpart, with a massive metal horn protruding from its head, glowing white-hot in the being’s aura.
The other being was just as big, but was composed of semisolid shadow. It too was quadrupedal, pawing at the ground as if to intimidate its just-as-formidable opponent. From underneath a black steel war helmet it emitted a cloud of purple and black smoke, which was speckled with dim stars. The mass of “hair” writhed and squirmed like an agitated bundle of living appendages.
“Light and darkness, ” said the voice. “Order in constant war with Chaos. Which is good? Which is evil? The answers have been wiped clean. You must provide them. ”
As one, the two massive beings turned their heads towards me, as if I had only just become visible. They seemed content to wait for... something to happen before jumping at each other.
“Choose wisely. ”
I’d had enough of darkness to last me ten lifetimes. Slowly, carefully, I approached the great white figure.
As I approached it, it began to shrink.
Its incandescent white flames died down and began to resolve into normal, purple fur. The horn stayed, but shrank with it and dulled to a proportionally smaller size. Most importantly, it stopped looking like a monster. The fire faded from its eyes. It looked at me, uncertainly.
She was shorter than I was.
“Hello?” she said, in a small, afraid voice.
“...Hi,” I answered.
“Who are you?”
“My name’s Rendynn Spire.” I turned towards the shadowy beast, which loomed as large and imposing as ever. “And I think I’m here to help you.”
My decision was made. The creature narrowed its eyes at me and pawed at the ground like a bull before the charge.
Let’s settle something right now. This thing was taller than me and the ex-fire-demon put together, twice . I had no idea how I was supposed to survive a fight with it, let alone kill it.
We start this story as we mean to go on: with Twilight Sparkle saving my ass.
The monster made a pouncing leap, coming down on us like a freight train on a pair of mosquitoes. Twilight waved her horn and a purplish-pink force field bubble thing covered the two of us. As the beast’s mass oozed over us like a flood of semi liquid darkness, she thrust the bubble upwards, forcing its massive bulk away and sending it tumbling off the side of the arena.
Of course, it climbed back up not two seconds later, but still -- not dead right away. Good start.
It charged again, this time along the ground. Twilight blasted it head-on with what I would later find out was raw magic. Not the most elegant way to go about shooting someone’s entire body off, but who was I to talk?
Wherever the bright purple-white beam raked across it, the beast’s substance shriveled and blew away like it was shedding leaves into the wind. Soon it was no taller than me. Which was nice. Unfortunately, keeping a stream of distilled murder going from one’s internal power reserves directly to an opponent’s face was quite draining. Twilight collapsed. Which was less nice.
The monster clearly wanted to push the advantage as soon as possible. Only, it didn’t take into account that I was not a useless ragdoll, and that I was pretty damn sure size advantage was no longer an issue.
That is to say, as soon as it attempted to gore my new purple friend, my body went into autopilot.
I ran forward and rugby-tackled the monster head-on, making sure to wrench its sharpest bit up and away from any puncturable bits on my person. I shifted to the left and used its momentum to swing it away from its planned trajectory. I kicked it square in the side as its ribcage area presented itself and sent it skidding several feet away, winded.
I spared the time out to look over my fallen friend. She was out cold, but otherwise unharmed.
My attention was diverted to my opponent, who once again stood up, this time focusing its soulless yellow eyes on me. Then it did two things I was distinctly unprepared for.
First, it smiled.
Then it talked.
“You can’t kill me.”
“Yeah?” I asked, panting slightly. “I’d say I’m doing a pretty good job so far.”
“You can attack me, certainly,” it said, pacing to the side in a halfhearted attempt to flank me. I kept facing it. “You can beat at me with your fists and feet, but you can’t truly harm me.”
“I can try.”
“Please. You might as well get into a wrestling match with a gelatin mold.”
I began to pace in time with it, unwilling to let it fight on its own terms -- if it ever fought me at all.
“Face it. You’re a weak, pathetic specimen who should have died with the rest of your world.”
I gritted my teeth and nodded slowly. “Yeah, that stung a little. So what, are you gonna try to talk me to death?”
“I can taste your despair, Rendynn Spire. It’s delicious. You can barely feel it, repressed as it is, but under your tough facade is a Heartless buffet. I’m looking forward to draining every last drop.”
“Morbid. I’d expect nothing else from a talking inkstain like you.”
“You flatter me.”
“You know what I’m looking forward to?”
“Do tell.”
In the previous two minutes, Twilight had staggered to a standing position. Her horn glowed faintly, increasing in brightness as the Heartlessicorn had its back turned to her.
In a flash of white, with a bang like a gunshot, Twilight loosed a ball of magic at the monster, shearing clean through its head and taking half of its brainpan with it.
I smiled. “That. I was looking forward to that very much.”
Twilight gave a shaky grin as she made her wobbly way over to me, taking care not to step on (or in) the Shadowcorn’s rapidly-fading, half-headless corpse.
I crouched down to meet her eye level.
“Guess I owe you a thanks, miss...”
“Twilight Sparkle,” she spoke, coming to a halt about a foot away, and sitting down on her haunches.
And that’s how I learned her name. I know it was confusing for a while there, but you stuck with it. I’m proud of you.
I laughed. The name certainly struck me as odd, but then again, I was talking to a sentient mythical creature. If anything, my name was weird to her, seeing as it was unique even back home.
Oh, right. Home.
Her smile replaced itself with a worried frown. “Is there something wrong?”
I sighed. “Yeah. Don’t worry about it, though. I’d rather know how I ended up here, of all places.”
She didn’t let up. Another thing about purple magic horses. They know how to pout .
“My world died , okay?!” I shouted. “It wasn’t locked down. The Heartless came and took everything away.”
I was prepared to launch into emotional tirade mode, but the Voice had other plans.
“So you have chosen. ”
The floor beneath us gave a shudder.
“Rend?” asked Twilight, a frightened tremor creeping into her voice. “What’s happening?”
“I think this voice is screwing with me.”
“The path of light is often thankless, little one. And your path is long and treacherous. ”
The stained glass below us gave a crack.
“Look!” Twilight cried, pointing a hoof at an ornate red wood door that had only just appeared there. We started running.
“To escape the shadow and emerge into the light, you will climb high and far. ”
The cracks continued to spread as the platform shook even harder. I nearly slipped and faceplanted into the glass. But that would end the story a little earlier than I’d like.
“But one who climbs so high has far to fall. ”
A great massive crack appeared in front of us. Twilight leapt across, clearing it easily. I jumped, missing my mark and slamming my upper third onto the floor as my legs dangled beneath me.
“And if you fall, you will be lost to shadow... ”
There was no handhold. The segments of the glass were smoothed and almost frictionless. I slid to my doom and eventually lost my grip all together. I began to plummet.
“...never to return. ”
Time slowed down. I felt a hot, feral breath behind me -- something ugly and hungry was ready to swallow me whole.
“But know this: You are not alone. ”
A bright light shone from beyond the lip of the crevasse. Whatever was behind me recoiled and fled into the depths below.
“And wherever your path takes you, know that the power to choose that path cannot be taken from you. ”
The last thing I saw was Twilight, horn aglow. All was white light and loud noise, then nothing.
“So choose well. ”
***
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes popped open as she gasped. Her horn was alight, illuminating the room in an indigo hue. It let out sparks like mad, and she soon realized that she had no power over the magic flowing through it. From beside her bed, a tired baby dragon raised his head and shielded his eyes, grimacing.
“Twilight, what are you doing? Turn that down! You’re blinding me!”
“I’m trying!” she yelled, panicking. “I-I don’t have any control!”
She felt a surge of her magic burst forth, causing her to clamp her eyes shut as her horn sent out a volley of sparks away from her and off the bed. Instead of falling to the ground and burning out, the sparks appeared to tear a hole in the air, stretching wider as a darkened void took its place. A gale whipped through the bedroom, throwing books and small knick knacks every which way. Something large and heavy fell through the rip in spaced, landing with a thud on the hardwood floor.
And just like that, the flow of magic ceased. The void warped and twisted, before dissipating without a trace, the only evidence of its existence taking the form of a hurricane-blasted bedroom. Twilight’s horn flickered, and faded, and the room was dark once again.
The only sound was that of Twilight’s panting and Spike’s quickened breathing.
“T-Twilight? Are you... are you alright?” Spike whispered from his basket, his head the only thing visible.
Twilight nodded, suddenly feeling very exhausted. She fought the urge to collapse back onto the mattress as she slowly made her way to the edge of the bed.
There on the ground was the figure from what she had assumed was a dream. The man the strange voice had been speaking to -- Rendynn Spire.
His breaths were shallow, his skin was pale and bruised in places, and he was shaking like a leaf, shivering as if he had been left out all night on Hearth’s Warming Eve.
“Spike,” she began, turning to address the quivering pile of scales and bedsheets. “Get me a shot of espresso and Anima's Guide to Xenobiology . And a blanket."
Kingdom Hearts: The Remnant
I woke slowly, letting my senses reassert themselves in short order. I was pleasantly warm, and found myself to be laying in a bed, bundled up in a blanket. My legs hung off the ledge, slightly.
Was I in a kid’s bed? Why not my own? I knew for sure I didn’t drink, and-
My eyes snapped open as my mind reviewed the memories of my recent past. My world consumed, our futile efforts to fight back against the Heartless, friends and family falling to the darkness... the dream.
I noticed the blanket was damp where my head had been. Was... was I crying? The gnawing ache below my ribcage and the fact that I couldn’t inhale with much reliability told me “yes.”
I sniffed, sat up, and shook my head. Keep it together. I looked around the warm, if slightly cramped, bedroom. It wasn’t home, but it was still here. I took a shaky breath and wrapped myself tighter.
Still here.
Still here.
I cut that line of thought off before it could blossom and get a stranglehold on the rest of my brain. I wrestled with my emotions for a time, getting a firm hold of my sadness and my remorse and my anger, and locked them up tight. I took several deep breaths, and finally opened my eyes once more. Now, there’s the question:
...Where was here, exactly?
I slid the blankets off of me before climbing out of the bed, and looked around. Next to the bed was a small basket, assumedly for the owner’s pet. There was a nightstand with an actual oil lamp, bookshelves jam-packed with hardcover books, and a set of double doors leading to a balcony was set into the left wall. Interestingly enough, I saw no seams or nails- it appeared as if the entire structure was cut into a tree.
There was one other exit, revealing a set of stairs leading to a floor below. Beyond it, someone was talking.
I could either sit here, sulk, and run the risk of committing emotional suicide, or I could distract myself with petty eavesdropping.
...Yeah, it didn’t take me long to decide, either.
I quietly nudged the door a bit further open and made my way down the staircase. Whoever was talking sounded awfully familiar. But that was a dream, right? There was no way... Oh. Well, then. I suppose there was a way.
As I climbed down the stairs, the living room/book depository came into full view. In the middle, surrounded by a multitude of books, was Twilight Sparkle. Offhandedly, I wondered if she could still do the “white phosphorous demon” thing in real life. Probably not. She was holding an animated discussion with a rather young someone I couldn’t see.
Many of the books were wrapped in the same purple/pink aura I had seen from the dream. Every so often, one would fly off and slide itself into one of the shelves, while another took its place in front of her face.
“Do you think he’s a Slender?” the boy asked, rattling something porcelain or metal in another room.
“No, I’ve checked already,” Twilight grumbled, flipping through another tome. “He’s way too tan, and way too short.”
Tan? I looked at myself. Sure, I wasn’t exactly pasty , but “tanned” was generous.
“Maybe he’s like a Satyr or a really skinny Minotaur?”
“I checked those before I checked ‘Slender’. His legs don’t even bend the right way.”
“Maybe he’s a Gorilla?”
“Nope. Not enough hair.”
“An Orangutan?”
“Not nearly enough hair.”
“Well, maybe he’s like a weird mammal-dragon. Ooh, that’d be neat!”
“Calm down, Spike. I’ve already checked, and he doesn’t have wings or a fire gland. He’s no dragon.”
“Phooey.”
I considered whether or not to feel violated. Where exactly was the fire gland on a dragon located, and how exactly does one go about checking for it?
“Maybe he’s a human, like that ‘Margham,’ or ‘Mayhap’, or whoever from that medieval history book.”
“Oh, that’s ridiculous. Sure, he’s got the same general build, but his hair’s much too short. Plus he doesn’t have those odd frontal chest-mound thingies.”
Alright, that tears it.
“Yeah, about that,” I said, deciding to reveal myself to Twilight and this “Spike” fellow. “I’m a guy. We don’t typically have ‘frontal chest mound thingies.’”
“Oh! Hello, there,” she said, floating another book away and smiling at me. “You’re up and about sooner than we expected.”
“Yeah, I...” I glanced around at the wooden decor, slightly lost. “...had nightmares.” I looked down at Twilight, who had her nose buried in another book. “Where are we?”
“We’re in my home, at Ponyville Golden Oaks Library,” she said, glancing at what was apparently a fascinating bit of information. “That’s easy. The hard question is ‘why?’”
“Why what?”
“Why you’re here,” she said, standing and floating the book to yet another shelf. “I’m researching species that look similar to you and the homeworlds thereof. You implied you were a-”
“A human,” I interrupted. “And yes, I am.”
I heard something click-clacking on the wooden floor behind me.
“Wow,” said Spike. “He’s a lot taller when he’s standing up.”
I turned around, ready to make full use of my incredible wit and intelligence.
Spike was a lizard in a frilly apron, carrying a tea tray.
“Fff-bwuh,” I said, with much wit and intelligence .
“Rend,” said Twilight, “this is Spike. He’s my assistant here at the library.”
“Hi!” said Spike. “Nice to meet you. Want some tea?” he asked, motioning with the tray. “It’s Earl Grey.”
“Hot?” I asked.
“I’d be a pretty bad assistant if I made cold tea,” he said, chuckling. He trotted his frilly apron (It had a pink heart on it) and his tray to a nearby table and started pouring.
Twilight floated yet another book from one of the shelves and flipped through it, this one boasting a red cloth cover. “Ah. So, are you from Moebius, then?”
Where?
“Where?”
“One lump or two?” Spike asked.
“None,” said Twilight.
“One,” I said. “Whatever this ‘Morbius’ place is, I’m pretty sure I’m not from there.”
“I see. Sera?”
“No.”
“Helghan?”
“Are you making these up?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“No,” she said, looking vaguely offended. “This a compendium of known alien species and their homeworlds,” she said, closing the book and levitating it in front of my face. Sure enough, the title read Hal Archer’s Big Book of Xenogeography: Worlds of Wonder, and What Inhabits Them . The cover depicted a ring of planets, each a different color. One, in particular...
“Here.” I pointed to the one with the familiar landmasses, depicted in metallic silver. Twilight floated the book back to herself, a quizzical look on her face.
“Ah!” she said, brightening up immensely. “Praeter! I’ve read about this one.”
“Oh?”
God dammit, self, you had to say “Oh.” Now she’s going to read it out loud and it’s going be a bunch of stuff you heard in history class.
No it isn’t , said a more positive part of my brain. An outsider’s view on our world might be interesting, you don’t know.
“Praeter ,” Twilight read. “Class: G, full sphere world. History: four thousand years. Supported life chemistry: Ponylike. ”
Well, that’s interesting, I thought, taking the teacup Spike was offering me. Let’s see if she can keep it up.
“Praeter was discovered in 899 PNE by the interplanetary explorer Scavatore. Like certain other planets of its kind, Praeter is inhabited by Humans, a bipedal mammalian species of Ponylike diet, social structure, and disposition. Praetorians are a prosperous race of Humanity, given to large-scale city projects and mass industrialization, as evidenced by their largest and most advanced settlement at the time of Pony explorers’ most recent visit: the fortress-city of Hyalus. ”
Hyalus. I seem to recall that name. If I remember right, they’d just finished tearing the last of it down to make room for a new intercity highway. How recent was this book?
“Praeter is expected to make the jump from local to inter-world exploration in the next decade. Stated Royal policy is to extend a greeting to whomever these Praetorian explorers are and aid them in their journey across the cosmos. ”
“Might want to put a rain check on that,” I said.
“Oh?” She looked up, confused.
“Praeter’s gone. Remember?”
She looked away, apparently trying to remember when I’d told her this.
“I told you in the dream -- Heartless ate it.” I ground my teeth and silently promised not to get explodey about it. “Just found the heart of the world and gobbled it up . I’m pretty sure you’re the only reason I’m alive right now.”
She winced. “I’m... sorry. All I remember about that dream was you and the monster. Nothing else.”
“Well, to be fair, all I remember is you, the monster, and you being on fire for some reason,” I replied.
Spike had done away with his emasculating apron and sat down on a small stool. I turned my head and gave the little guy a closer look. He was mostly purple in coloration, like Twilight, but had a tannish underbelly, stood upon two legs, and had green spines running up his back. He also had very large, green, reptilian eyes, offset by the fact that he hardly looked menacing at all.
Come to think of it, hardly anything in this library felt dangerous, even despite the knowledge that Twilight’s magic could probably tear me in half without much effort on her part. Morbid thoughts aside, I broke the ensuing silence once more, “Well, we know what I am now. But what are you guys? Who are you guys? What world is this?”
Twilight gathered herself up, smiling. “You’re currently in the world of Equus, in the principality of Equestria...” I had to suppress a chuckle despite myself. Of all the names for a world populated with horses... “...in the town of Ponyville.”
I lost it. I tried not to spray Earl Grey everywhere as I burst out laughing. “A” for effort, in any case.
“What’s so funny?”
I had to wait a few seconds to catch my breath. “You... Every name you just gave me is either a pun about horses or just sticks horse-related words where horse-related words don’t belong. ‘Ponyville?’ Seriously?”
“I take it there wasn’t a ‘Humanburg’ on Praeter.”
That got me laughing again. “No, but I remember something in geography class about an ‘Isle of Man.’ So you’ve got me there.”
Twilight’s smile was a little forced, now, but she continued anyways. “As I was saying, you’re in the town of Ponyville...”
She explained most of the details of my new temporary lodging. She told me about the nation of Equestria, who she and a few of her friends were -- look up the Elements of Harmony, it’s neat stuff -- and who the Princesses Celestia and Luna were. To tell you the truth, I highly doubted magic as strong as was ascribed to these two could even exist, but she knew them better than I did. Quite a lot better, from the sounds of things.
She went so far as to tell me about her being Celestia’s student, learning about magic and friendship (and the magic of friendship, apparently) while away from Canterlot, the capital city nestled in the mountains nearby. Spike was eager to tell me about the ‘wonders’ of the place, if you could call a donut shop a wonder.
On that note, my stomach, neglected as it was, made an ungodly noise that made the three of us lapse into silence and stare at the spot on my abdomen where the offending organ presumably was..
***
Let me tell you about daisy sandwiches.
No, seriously. “Daisy” isn’t some cutesy nickname or anything. We’re talking, literally, two pieces of bread with flower petals between them. Sometimes you add mayo and/or salt, depending on which color daisy it is. And you never ever mix blue and the white daisies.
Have I mentioned that this sandwich is also sinfully delicious?
I was halfway through my second one, a surprisingly tangy and savoury blue-petal tartine, slathered in some form of jelly that had a bite like it had been on the vine that morning. I finally stopped once I realized that my hosts had stopped eating and were eyeing me with interest and amusement.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, putting my sandwich down after my self-consciousness kicked in.
“Oh, nothing,” said Twilight. “I guess you weren’t lying about not having eaten.”
Spike was less polite. “Dude, we should put him against Pinkie and take bets.”
“That was a bad idea the last three times we tried it, Spike.” She turned back to me. “Speaking of bad ideas, are you sure you’re okay with all veggies? I’ve seen your, ah, canines .”
“I don’t own a dog,” I mumbled around a mouthful of daisy, jelly, and bread.
“No, your canine teeth. The pointed ones.”
“Oh, those.” I took another bite. “Well, as you can see, I have successfully overcome my evolutionary history and embraced plant matter.” I placed a hand on my chest and said, a little too seriously, “My teeth do not define who I am .”
Twilight stifled a giggle. Oh God, as if the sandwich wasn’t giving me enough sugar already. I swore from then on never to reveal the effect the average pony had on me. Bad enough they could send me into diabetic shock on accident , I didn’t want one putting me under mind-control with a single well-placed pout.
I finished the sandwich, decided that asking for a third would be asking too much. My stomach then decided to make its position known on the matter of what qualified as “too much.”
“That was delicious,” I said. “Do we have any more?”
“Nope,” Twilight said, peeking into the cupboard. “Fresh out. And there won’t be any more until someone -” she gave Spike a significant look, “-swings by the market like he said he would.”
The little lizard chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “Ah, yeah. I should probably get around to that some time, shouldn’t I?”
“I could go with him,” I offered.
Twilight gave me an uncertain look. “You’re sure? You only just woke up, and-”
“Nah, I’m fine. I could use the leg room. This place is giving me claustrophobia.”
“Still, it might not be the best idea. You’re just planning on walking out there without giving anypony any warning? What if they’re scared of you?”
Spike gave a dismissive razz. “Please. Weird stuff happens in Ponyville every day. Most of it way scarier than this guy.”
“Yeah, I-” My brain processed what Spike had just said. “Hey!”
***
It was weird.
Intellectually, I knew that there was a world outside of the library. There had to be. Where else would Celestia live? Where would these Element Bearers I’d heard so much about be? The name Ponyville did, in fact, mean something, but it was a name without a face until I opened the library’s front door and looked it in the eyes.
“Idyllic” was the first word that came to mind. The library was near the edge of town, which gave me a full panoramic view of one hundred percent quiet, peaceful, out-of-the-way homeliness. I could see plenty of ponies trotting to and fro through the streets, every last one happy or at least content-looking, and every one colored like an Easter egg.
“Uh, hey. You alright?”
“Uhh, yeah. I was just looking at... at everything.”
“Oh.” He smiled and started walking. I followed, keeping my eyes mostly on the scenery. “Yep, Ponyville is a pretty nice place, if you can stomach the occasional musical number. It’s quiet most of the time -- actually made me think I wouldn’t like it here, you know? Thought I’d get bored. But really, stuff happens all over if you know where to look!”
We passed another house, quite like the others. It sported a thatched roof and was highlighted in a surprisingly not-eye-searing pink. More strikingly, to me at least, it wasn’t disintegrated. Or rotting like it was trapped in a time-lapse video. Or being torn to shreds by Heartless. Or...
“Hey, are you okay?”
I shook my head. “What?”
“You were looking kinda zoned out there.”
“No, I’m...” I shook myself. “Fine. I’m fine.”
As we continued walking and Spike continued to extoll the virtues of Ponyville’s pleasant isolation, I kept looking at every house we passed, each one untouched.
Each one intact.
Perfect.
Alive.
There was life here.
Intellectually, I knew that nothing had descended upon Ponyville and eaten it whole, like some other place I didn’t want to think about at the moment. But that hadn’t stared me in the face until I’d looked out and stared back into it. It scared me.
Not the life. The life here was beautiful. What scared me was the fact that I’d only just seen a world much like this one bleed and convulse and die, without so much as a how do you do. It happened to me. It could happen here. When I looked at the bright, vibrant landscape of Ponyville, I was not just scared.
I was terrified.
“Are you sure you’re okay, dude?”
I turned back to Spike and smiled. “Yeah, I’m good. Just admiring the scenery.”
My wellspring of fear and panic and sorrow was forcefully shoved into a lockbox. It was wrapped in chains made of the hardest purified fuckyoutonium and thrown into a river. Not now. I’m busy . I breathed a sigh of relief once the gnawing in my chest had dulled down and I could breathe normally again.
“So!” I near-shouted, causing the purple dragon to jump. “What’s first on the list? I’m not exactly familiar with Equestrian wares.”
“Alright, let’s see... first is... hay.”
“Hey, what?”
“No, hay. The plant.”
“What?”
“Seriously. You can make all kinds of stuff out of it. Hayburgers, hayfries, hay soup, sauteed hay, pan-seared and sauced hay...”
We entered the marketplace proper as Spike continued rattling off the list of dishes that contained dried grass in them. I confess, “hay au gratin” sounded pretty good, if the daisies were anything to go by. And if that didn’t work, anything fried tastes good.
To their credit, the ponies around us didn’t seem scared. Just curious. The sheer number of eyes turned on me wigged me out just a bit, but eventually the crowd’s attention dissolved and I could focus on Spike’s list of dishes again. That kid knows his hay.
“...hay chips, hay bacon, gryphon-fried hay patties.... huh, that’s about it.”
I whistled. "And that's just dead grass. I'm almost afraid to ask what you guys do with fruit ."
The baby dragon raised a claw and inhaled.
"Save it! We're here," I intercepted.
I made it a point to pay as much attention as I could to how the businesses worked. The currency consisted of a single gold coin called a ‘bit.’ I half-jokingly asked if they had any bigger denominations. ‘Bridles,’ perhaps. Spike looked at me like I was some sort of crazy person.
Moving swiftly on, we made a circuit of the plaza, snapping up everything on the list... and one gem. I wondered aloud why gems this size and quality were being sold in an open-air market and not, say, in a plexiglass case. Spike responded by biting into it like it was a ripe pear. Judging from the look on his face as he dug in, it had the texture and flavor of one.
I bought a ruby the size of a rhinestone and tried it myself. Chipped a tooth on the first bite, but it’s serving me as a hard candy to this day, like a really pretty Jolly Rancher. Sounds weird, but it’s really about on par with the daisy sandwiches. I was getting used to weird pretty fast.
“Howdy, Spike! Hey, there, stranger. You from out of town?”
I was snapped from my reverie on weirdness by yet another example of same. An orange pony surrounded by red apples, tipping her cowboy hat at me.
A cowboy hat.
...Was I dead, and the afterlife was just screwing with me? It would explain a lot.
“Uhh, howdy,” I said, subconsciously reaching to copy her gesture before I realized I had no hat. “Yeah, I’m not from around here. Name’s Rend. Nice to meet you, Miss...?” I shuffled the groceries in my arms and reached a hand out.
“Applejack,” she said, sticking her hoof in my open hand and shaking it. “Likewise.”
“And let me guess, you sell... apples?”
She made a mock gasp of surprise. “Goodness me, however did ya find that out?”
“Call it an educated guess.” Ye gods, look at all these apples. My arms started to hurt more just thinking about carting it all the way here from... well, from anywhere. Speaking of which...
“Well, nice to make your acquaintance, but me and Spike here have to run. We have to drop these off at the library before either A, I drop dead of hunger or B, my arms fall off.”
“Oh, yer headed that way? Ah was just about to pop over mehself. Y’all mind if I tag along?”
“Not at all.”
“Alright, then.” She stuck two front hooves in her mouth and whistled. That... that wasn’t how sticking an appendage in your mouth to whistle worked, but whatever. We’ll roll with it.
A rather big specimen of the Equestrian species lumbered over from a shaded spot near one of the cafes bordering the plaza. The quite large pony sat down at Applejack’s spot at the booth while she trotted around and relieved me of a couple of my bags.
Did I mention he was big? I had about five inches on the guy, but if he so much as gave me a stern look, I think I’d fall over.
“Ah’ll just be a minute, Big Mac. Y’all know what t’do until Ah get back.”
“Eeyup,” the stallion replied, in a relaxed bass voice. He didn’t even bat an eye at me, instead opting to chew lazily on the haystalk sticking out of his mouth.
Wow, stand-in meat, potato substitute, and now tobacco replacement. Hay really could do anything.
Our party of three made our way back to the library, chatting for a while. Applejack wasn't all that prodding with her questions, thankfully. The library’s main room was empty, as was the kitchen. We gave a collective shrug and began unloading our assorted cargo.
Applejack gave the place a quick once-over. “Now where in Equestria is Twilight? Came all th’ way over to see ‘er and now she up and disappears.”
“Twilight?” Spike called. “You in here?”
“I’m up here, Spike!” she replied, from somewhere upstairs. A flash from the hall doubly confirmed her presence. We summited the stairs to find Twilight's room in a mess, her horn aglow and a focused expression on her face. The bed was shoved to one side and the bookshelves were haphazardly stacked together on the other.
“Uhh, Twi,” Applejack said, “What’re ya doin’?”
“I am investigating ,” her horn pulsed, “the circumstances surrounding Rend’s arrival here.”
“Yeah, Ah figured he wasn’t one o’ the natives. You kin tell from th’ accent.”
“Hey, I don’t have a...! Oh. That was a joke.”
Applejack just rolled her eyes.
Spike shrugged and started back down the stairs. “Not even dark and she’s already opening holes in the fabric of reality. I’ll be downstairs sorting groceries if anyone needs me.”
“Be sure and leave out the rice and green pepper!” Twilight called, still in the magicking position. “I’ve been meaning to try out that new recipe.”
Was this a routine for them?
“I see you folks are kind of hard to surprise.”
“Nah. We’ve just gotten used to, you know, Twilight, magic, odd things happenin’. It’d be pretty silly if I lost my marbles every time something weird happened in this town.”
Ah, right. Sort of sitting in the crucible of oddity. I forgot.
“Speakin’ of weird stuff happenin’, that’s why I’m here. Twilight, some o’ the trees in th’ orchard got another o’ them, uh, magicky infections.”
“Did you try the herbicide I made you?” she asked, not looking away from a very interesting point in the air in front of her.
“Yup.”
“How about the ether-b-gone?”
“Didn’t work.”
“Beardo scrubbing sparks?”
“That just made it worse.”
“And you’re sure you’ve exhausted every alternate approach and I have to stop my observations.”
“‘Fraid so.”
Twilight gave a small huff and flicked her horn off. The subtle, luminous tree-root pattern floating in the air faded from view, only noticeable now that it was gone. She turned and followed AJ down the stairs.
“So, uhh...” I started, feeling a bit lost. “What am I supposed to do?”
“You can either stay here and read books or come with us on slime mold duty. Your choice.”
I feel slightly embarrassed that it took me more than five seconds to decide.
***
Apples.
Apples as far as the eye could see and then some.
As many apples as there were stars in the sky.
Applefinity.
So many goddamned apples.
“I think I believe you now when you say he’s a city boy, Twilight.” I had all but forgotten my tour guides.
“Apples,” I said. “It’s like one of those paintings where the eyes follow you. No matter where I look, I’m looking at an apple.”
“Eeeeeyup, he’s a city boy.”
“How are they staring at me? They’re judging me! I’m being judged by freaking fruit! ” I waved my arms in the air to stress my point.
Applejack laughed, and Twilight giggled. I crossed my arms and lowered my gaze from the oppressive red demons.
“Not too far now,” AJ said, pointing a hoof straight ahead.
I noticed that the area around here was decidedly gloomy. The sun wasn’t peeking through the foliage overhead, and the shade was cool and damp. No wonder there was moss.
Wait, moss?
This must have been the infection, then. Out a half-mile or so from the Apple homestead was a patch of diseased-looking trees, their bark a pale tan compared to the rich, deep brown of their neighbors. Around the roots and in nooks and crannies in the bark was a frothy-looking black moss that glimmered with an unsettling oily sheen.
Twilight lit her horn again and peered towards the infected areas. The fungus collectively shrank back, sinking into the bark as if it were recoiling from a great heat. She cut the light and it swelled back out again.
“...Yeah, Beardo scrubbing sparks aren’t going to do much against this stuff. Actually, I’ve never seen this species before. And you say it just sprang up?”
“Over the course of a couple a’ nights, yeah.”
“It doesn’t seem to like the light all that much. You think if we thin out the canopy, it’ll die off?”
“No can do. Y’see all these thicker branches? These are old, old trees. No telling how many good fruit-bearing branches I’d have to chop off if I wanted to let the light in. I’d probably end up saving these four trees and killing the dozen or so around ‘em! And that’s assumin’ the light kills ‘em and doesn’t just make ‘em, y’know, hide.”
I scratched the back of my head. “Well, uh. Damn. I got nothing.”
Twilight gave a small grin. “I think I have an idea.”
***
So that’s why we were there again four hours later, after sundown.
The mood of the place went from unsettling to a bit disturbing in that amount of time. I always felt like there was something in my peripheral vision, just out of sight or hiding in the shadows. As a matter of fact, I’d had that sensation a lot right before- No. Not now. Go away.
“Rend.... Rend! You okay?”
I blinked. I was leaning against one of the trees for some reason. Applejack was looking back at me, worried.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m... I’m good.”
“If the walk’s makin’ ya dizzy, we could always take a breather.”
“What? No, I’m not dizzy, just...” I looked up at the moon barely making itself visible through the gradually thickening leaf ceiling. “...just really wigged out.”
AJ’s look lingered for a bit, before she turned back to the trail. “If’n ya say so...”
I had the feeling she wasn’t convinced, but at least she was letting it go for now.
We were fast returning to the poisoned batch of trees. And make no mistake, it had upgraded from “disease” to “poison” as night fell.
The moss had almost tripled in thickness and mass, stretching out of the wood and coating the bark in ugly black fungus. AJ winced. From what she’s told me, these trees were almost like pets to her. I understood the sentiment... sort of.
The trees were nearly covered in the infection, and wherever the light from Twilight’s horn thinned, the moss returned with a vengeance. I felt like I was being watched.
“You said you had an idea, sugarcube?”
“Ah, yes.” Twilight stopped in the rough center of the infected area. “As you can see, the fungus swells in the absence of sunlight and magelight. Since it can’t simply be phasing through the wood, we can only assume that it does indeed increase in size whenever it is in shadow.”
“Alright, so what’s the point of all this?” AJ asked, giving a nearby fungus patch the stinkeye.
“The point is that you’ve been trying to spray this stuff dead during the day, when it had minimum surface area and could absorb little, if any, of the poison. At this hour, a jug of Beardo should take this stuff right off.” She levitated said jug out of a deep bag on her side. It held a smoky liquid filled with tiny flakes of a yellow-green substance. “Now, be warned, to get the most effect out of this, I’ll have to cut my light. You two don’t trip on anything.”
The light on her horn winked out.
Now, let’s get one thing straight. I do not have a fear of the dark. That’s stupid. I have a fear of getting attacked and eaten by something I can’t see because of the dark, which makes perfect evolutionary sense. That, and it had almost happened to me the other da- NO. Not thinking about it. Stop. Focus. What was that noise.
clinkclinkclinkclink
...The hell was that noise?
Shinkshinkshisnksh-
...Hell was that noise.
“Twilight?” I quavered.
The sounds of planned mass herbicide stopped. “Hmm?”
“We are not alone.”
There was a small yellow light in the distance, visible between the outlines of two trees. Off to the right were two more. And another, behind those. I decided now was a good time to panic. I turned, intent on putting as much distance between me and the lights as possible. Of course, there were more that way. And every way I looked, in fact. Dozens of yellow lights slowly creeped toward us -- dozens of Heartless eyes, visible in the pitch black orchard.
I began to feel lightheaded. I heard people running. Screaming. Awful things with those damned yellow eyes, murdering and destroying without purpose - without thought. It was like surviving an earthquake only to die in the aftershock. For a second, I wasn’t in the orchard at all. I was fleeing a tidal wave of fanged shadow through a collapsing city - my city - and slowly being overrun.
Twilight and AJ were yelling something. I wasn’t listening. The eyes advanced, and I started backpedaling.
I collided with a tree trunk, my feet instinctively working despite their lack of traction. I slid to the ground. The eyes slowly approached and loomed over me. It had skin like tar, and a mouth filled with dripping ebon teeth. It was armored in rusted, pitted steel, and its fingers were sharpened into stabbing, slicing claws.
I desperately reached behind me for something to grab onto to pull myself to safety. Anything to get away from it. I’d do anything if only I didn’t have to stare into the face of pestilence, famine, war, and death for another second. Anything. Please...
My hand gripped something half-stuck in the dirt. I pulled. Whatever it was, it came loose and connected solidly with the clawed arm the monster was lowering towards me. I heard a muted crack, and the visage of doom hissed and retreated for a second.
I just broke a Heartless Knight’s arm with a tree branch. Therefore, went my thought processes, I could likely break several other things.
I rose to my feet as my attacker cradled its pulverized limb. It looked at me with that soulless, unemotive gaze. It hissed again.
In the corners of my vision, I saw light and motion and a dozen other shapes moving, some in color and some inky black. I ignored them. Right now, it was me and the Knight of the Shattered Humerus.
I hefted my “weapon” in front of me. It was good, thick, and heavy -- it had to be, to survive breaking bones. I was never that good at sparring. I preferred to shoot things, given half a chance. At the present moment, I’d take what I could get.
The Knight rushed me again, favoring the arm in which the bones were not fine powder. I ducked under its swipe and planted a beautiful upward strike on its chin. Its head jerked back and, with a crispy snapping noise, it went still.
A tiny speck of light burst from its chest and floated upwards, disappearing into the canopy above. Its prone body shuddered and dissolved, melting into the shadows.
I’d killed it.
I, Rendynn Spire, had just killed my first Heartless with a tree branch to the face.
I started laughing. Odd, high-pitched, disbelieving. It couldn’t be that easy. It had to be out there, still. I hadn’t truly beaten it, had I? It was out there - watching - waiting . As if it could fool me.
I heard Twilight yell something again. I paid attention to the world around me for the first time in... what, a minute? Two minutes? How time does fly.
A mob of Knights had formed in the clearing, surrounding us on all sides. Applejack was a demon, jumping from dodge to kick to re-dodge to eye-watering kick to the groin in the space of seconds. Twilight leveled blast after tank-grade blast of pure distilled “fuck you” at the encroaching horde, taking out two and three at a time but still being pressed back.
And I was just standing here holding a tree branch. This would not do .
I saw a Knight Twilight had missed, slowly approaching from her blind spot. Not just any Knight, I realized. That stare. Those soulless eyes. I’d just finished driving it away, and here it was again. I started running.
I’ve only just found them, you inky bastard, I’m not letting you take them too.
“TWILIGHT, DUCK!” I bellowed.
She thankfully did, dodging what may have otherwise been a decapitating blow. I vaulted over her, bringing the branch of great justice down on the Knight’s shoulder. I heard a clavicle make a noise like a wishbone. I saw my target’s shoulder blade go at an angle shoulder blades should not go at.
Fool me once, you shadowy asshole. I knew he wasn’t gone. He was still here, somewhere. I felt him watching me.
Why can’t I get him to stop watching me.
“Are you okay, Twilight?”
“I could ask you the same,” she muttered, climbing to her hooves and utterly annihilating another cluster of Heartless nearby. “You look like you’re about to be sick.”
Now that you mentioned it, a dry heave was starting to sound pretty good right now...
“I’ll be fine. I’m just - AJ, look out! ”
I didn’t need to waste my breath. Applejack rolled out of the way of a tackle, rearing up and turning the offending Knight’s cranium into paste.
“What are these things!?” she cried, dodging another attacker and bucking it face first into a tree.
“Heartless,” I said. “They’re the reason I’m here now. And now that they’re here... oh, God...”
“We can worry about that later!” Twilight snapped. “Go help AJ!”
I snapped out of it and quickly made my way to Applejack, who was doing a great job at making Heartless jam.
He was there again. I managed to take out his legs before he disappeared once more.
I was starting to get frustrated. AJ and Twilight were making mincemeat out of all these Heartless, and I couldn't even take care of one . No matter how many times I knocked him down, I’d see him again. That same gaze that burned the back of my eyelids. He was after me. I knew it. He wanted to finish what he started back on Praeter.
Not here, too. I’d kill him before I let that happen. As many times as it took, as many bones as I had to break, I’d stop him.
The fight wore on for another hour before we finally dispatched the last one. Twilight had gotten about forty or fifty. AJ had stomped maybe twenty. I’d gotten one. Just one, but I’d gotten him.
I watched as the Knight dissolved under the moonlight filtering through the tree branches.
Not here too, you bastard.
I stopped you.
I finally stopped you.
My throat felt like shit. Something wet was on my face. Something acidic clawed at my diaphragm, screaming too little, too late.
You got him, but that won’t bring anyone back.
“Twilight,” I mumbled. “I’d really like to go home now.”
***
The door to the Library was bathed in an indigo glow before opening up and allowing us entry. Twilight dragged a groggy Spike out of his little basket-bed and had him assist me in making myself not look like I had gone through a blender. In the light of the living room, I found that AJ and Twilight weren’t unscathed either. Applejack had a multitude of tiny cuts and bruises from lucky shots that made it past her dodging, and Twilight’s eyes lacked the energy they had this morning. Both of them were wobbly.
I tried to deny their ministrations, insisting that Spike help them, first. Then they mentioned the fact that I was coughing up a little bit of blood while doing so. I was too tired to argue.
While they had no guest rooms, but Twilight did have a cot that was thankfully large enough for me. I was laid down in it and told to have a good night’s rest. As my back hit the soft blanket, I found my eyes drooping. I heard two sets of hooves retreat, and a door shutting.
The last thing in mind before sleep took hold was how... concerned... they looked.
***
Ponyville was considered a pleasant sight in the morning, when ponyfolk were abuzz with their business and the general feeling of relaxed cheer permeated the air. At night, however, the chatter of ponies was replaced with the chirping of crickets, and Celestia’s radiant sun was replaced by the pale visage of the moon, bathing the town in its cool light.
It was something both Twilight and Applejack could enjoy, had they not had a certain newcomer on their minds. The unicorn and earth pony were taking the dirt road back towards the Acres, where Twilight was to remove the dark fungus before more Heartless could show up.
Applejack was the first to speak.
“Twi?”
“Yes?”
“Ah want you to tell me about that boy. Ah knew somethin’ was up the moment Ah first saw ‘im.”
Twilight frowned. “I don’t think we should-”
The farmpony cut her off, snorting. “Twi. He fought like he had everythin’ to lose, like a wounded animal
“Hurt?”
“Yeah. He had the eyes of a dyin’ pony, even before we fought those varmints. He would smile, and he would laugh, but if ya saw his eyes... y’kin tell he was anythin’ but happy. An’ then there’s that thing he said about his world. He’s an alien, right? What happened, Twi? Why is he here? Why were those Heartless things here?
Applejack’s voice was getting a bit louder than most nightly strolls went for.
Twilight’s ears twitched, then flattened against her head. She looked at Applejack, then back at the library. She sighed and hung her head.
“I don’t know,” she said, staring at the cobblestone passing beneath her. “I get the feeling tonight was just the start of something nopony is prepared for. I don’t know if Rend started it, or if he’s a victim of it, or if he’s just a coincidence, but he’s here now. And I can’t just throw him out on account of extenuating circumstances.”
“No offense to the man, Twi, but these here circumstance are pretty darn extenuatin’.”
“I know.” She straightened back up, determined.“Which is why as soon as your trees are cured, I’m coming back to do what I do best.”
“Magic?”
“Close,” Twilight chuckled, smirking. “Study. ”
Kingdom Hearts: The Remnant
I was awoken by an unpleasant combination of morning breath and dried blood. My first few lungfuls of air were coughed right the hell out.
I wearily opened my eyes to an ocean of books and scrolls and educational documents. It was Twilight’s Library. And I would have to get used to that.
I felt like crap, and I probably looked like crap, too. With a sigh, I got up from my cot and went into a sitting position. I heard a faint noise that sounded like scratching.
“Spike?” I croaked.
Was that my voice? I cleared my throat, and made another attempt. “Hey, Spike, you there?”
No answer. Little guy was probably still asleep. So what in the hell was making that noise?
I got the feeling that I should probably get out of bed and check to see what the noise was. Upon confirming that nothing was too badly broken to do so, I mentally prepared myself to leave the warm, if rather malodorous, confines of the bedsheets.
Alright, any second now I was going to get up.
Any second now.
I would have fallen right back asleep if my brain hadn’t latched onto that damn scratching noise.
My curiosity began to outweigh my urge to rest my broken self, but goddamnit if I wasn’t gonna find and shut that thing up first. I got up, shakily, and surveyed the room.
Well, for one, it’s a library. Lots of books, and lots of dust, with an incessant stream of particles flitting through the sunbeams flowing in through the windows. In the corner of the room shone a faint purple light. Upon nearing the light, the scratching stopped. I was looking at a tiny desk with a stack of paper and a quill that hovered over an inkwell.
On the top page on the desk, the pen was continuously scribbling what looked to be a running commentary on me .
...subject appears to be afflicted with temporary paralysis upon awakening. Upon emerging, a smell akin to deceased animal stink fills the room. Analysis of air content posits source of stench as unwashed body odor and displaced bodily fluids. Unknown if subject regularly bathes. Subject is approaching current recording position, will necessitate dissuasion if it attempts to interrupt recording process. Currently appears confused. Is reaching hand towar
The writing abruptly stopped. I only noticed the pen hovering in front of my face once I broke my gaze away from the page. I went cross-eyed just trying to focus on it.
The pen poked the bridge of my nose, causing me to instinctively reach up to swat it away. It flew out of my reach, then looped back down to the parchment and covered the latter half of the page with big bold words:
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT
My normal reaction would have been somewhere along the lines of “Oh shit! ”, but screaming loudly in the morning would probably have woken up my hosts. I was a better houseguest than that. I wasn’t, however, mindful of where I was stepping, and found myself on my ass after knocking my foot into the corner of one of the bookcases.
Freaking magic, man.
The pen abandoned its post at the desk and flew up the stairwell and out of sight. After a few seconds, I heard more noises.
“Wha- ow! Ow! Alright! St- gah - stop it! I’m going!”
Shortly afterwards, the quill returned, did its best to look like it was doing a victory dance around my head, and went to lay down on the desk. I heard the sound of foo-hoofsteps down the stairs, and a disheveled, underslept-looking Twilight Sparkle poked her head out of the door and looked around the room.
“Uh, hi,” I ventured from my place on the floor. Twilight’s eyes eventually found their way to me and she brightened a bit, even if it didn’t lend itself too well to her already tired appearance.
“Oh, Rend! You’re up pretty early,” she said.
I once again got up from the floor and popped a few vertebrae in my back for good measure. To my chagrin, I heard the quill scratching again.
“Sorry about that. I’m not a morning person, myself. That demon-pen --” I gestured to the merrily bobbing feather pen “-- didn’t seem to take that into consideration.”
Twilight giggled, but stopped after giving the room a sniff. “What is that smell?”
“Ah, right. Contrary to what that thing’s writing, I swear to God I do actually bathe regularly. Would you be so kind as to...”
“Bathroom’s up the stairs and to the right,” she said, motioning with her head.
“Thank you,” I muttered, hurriedly ascending so as to spare Ponyville as much of the smell as I could.
I finally got to see myself in the mirror after so long.
That wasn’t as positive as you might think it would be.
That quill was brutally honest about the smell. That was probably the only thing worse than my overall appearance. I needed a shave, and probably a haircut to boot. My clothes were hardly ‘clothes’ so much as ‘rags’, only they were probably too dirty to fit that role, either. I had a few minor cuts on my face and arms, and a small line of dried blood started from the corner of my mouth and ended near my chin, and onto my shirt.
I looked like I was plucked from the apocalypse. And that wasn’t... too far from the truth, really.
I sighed. I didn’t need to be thinking about that right now. I had to worry about shedding the stench of a thousand hobos, finding a new change of clothes, apologizing profusely for the burden I’m undoubtedly placing on Twilight and Spike’s shoulders, and I needed a way to repay them for what they’ve done. That was quite a debt I’ve gotten myself into.
I peeled off my shirt first, and was ducking down to take off my shoes before I noticed something off (besides just about everything). Namely, on my right shoulder. Here, let me draw it for you.
Wasn’t the best I could do, but it looked about like that. The interlocking C-shapes seemed almost three-dimensional, despite being apparently tattooed onto my skin. The hollow shape in the center reminded me of a broken link in a chain, for some reason.
...Well, okay, they didn’t remind me much of anything at the time, being recently awoken as I was and still covered in genuine, grade-A Combat Stink. Just remember the broken chain thing. It’ll be important later. I decided to dismiss it for now, seeing as it didn’t hurt and there were worse things to have emblazoned on your right arm in permanent body ink.
For now, cleanliness.
Pony showers are apparently not all that different from our own, only that they’re... cramped. Shorter. I had to stoop down in order for the water (which was heated, how about that) to get my head. I made sure not to use any soap that was too effeminate for my tastes. Didn’t really stop me from smelling like flowers, but ‘Springtime Daisy’ was preferable to ‘Morning Glory Deluxe Ultra-Body-Something-or-Other’. I still felt my manliness decrease with each plut the “Sunflower Sizzle”-scented goop made. They couldn’t have gotten a bar of the stuff? Seriously?
It was around the twenty-minute mark when I realized: I hadn’t even washed my hair yet. And as horrendous as pony soaps were, I hadn’t even breached the horrors that were their shampoos.
Everything had a scent! Everything had to voluminate or de-frizz or restore luster or I don’t even know what! I found myself desperately searching for a bottle of industrial strength “get-the-stank-out,” because that’s what I needed right now.
I was right in the middle of scalping myself with my fingernails when I heard a knock at the door and Spike saying, “Dude, you okay in there? You didn’t drown, did ya?”
I bit down a swear as I answered, “Yeah, I’m alive. Gimme a sec’ longer, okay?”
“Breakfast’s almost ready! I’ll eat your portion if you don’t hurry up!”
Oh no he didn’t. I attacked my poor hair with the vigor of a spartan army in glorious battle. After that was done, I whisked the shower curtains aside... and promptly realized that I only had one set of clothes. The ones I arrived in . On the floor .
I tried to make sure I didn’t swear loud enough for the guys downstairs to hear me.
In the end I was descending the stairs with shinier hair than I’ve had in years, and dirtier clothes than I’ve had in my life. It was an odd contrast, to say the least.
I walked into the kitchen, the conflicting scents of marinated B.O. and sunflower soap fading under the overpowering presence of another, much more pleasant aroma.
Hay Bacon.
Forgive me, Padre, for the sin I am about to commit.
I flopped down onto one of the cushions that served as pony chairs and watched in awe as Spike toted over a plate stacked high with meat-substitute strips straight out of the fryer. I then gave him a flat look as I realized that the heavenly chorus in the background was just him, playing up on how hungry I must have looked.
“Aaaaahhhhhh- okay, fine. I’ll stop.”
Playing games, were we?
I smirked an evil smirk with a malicious gleam in my eye, and said, “Wow, Spike. Didn’t know you could pull off the whole angel voice so well. You do choir?”
He nearly fell off of his stool. I sniggered.
“Who told you?” he asked in a rather quiet voice.
I moved straight past sniggering at that point. When Twilight came in, I was face-down on the table laughing and pounding a fist on the table while Spike chewed grumpily on the end of a hay bacon strip.
“What’s so funny? And why is Rend still wearing... that ?”
“He found out about that one week at choir,” Spike grumbled.
She winced. “Ouch.”
I sat up, chuckling again. “And uh, aheh, to answer your second question, I’m still wearing this because it’s the only outfit I have. Didn’t exactly bring a fresh change when I came over.”
She gave me a once-over with a raised eyebrow. “So why are you still wearing it?”
I blinked. “Say what?”
“I mean, it’s all old and dirty, and you probably don’t have to worry about whatever reason you were wearing it to begin with.”
“Say what? ”
Twilight sighed, then looked at the ceiling for a minute in thought.
“You don’t need to wear it anymore. Why’d you put it back on?”
“Because I don’t want to be naked!” I said, reaching for a bacon strip.
“What’s wrong with being naked?”
I froze. I looked at my two hosts, as if seeing them for the first time. Both were covered in colors that did not set off the “warning, exposed flesh” alarm in my brain, but both were without a doubt naked as jaybirds. Very large, purple jaybirds. My brain made a noise not unlike a broken transmission.
I gnawed smartly on my bacon before I could say anything stupid. My first impulse was something along the lines of “Oh God, oh God, it’s in my head now”. Suffice to say, I wasn’t thrilled with the mental image. I pinched the bridge of my nose and instead replied, “It’s a human thing.”
Twilight and Spike shared a silent “Ohhhh” of understanding, nodding at me like I had just explained everything. I decided not to pursue the issue and instead ask another question.
“Moving along, where can I go to get some new clothes? I’m just as thrilled to wear these as you are to smell them.”
“Well, I happen to know a pretty good clothier, ” Spike said, unnecessarily rolling the “r” on the end of the word. He bit off the end of a bacon strip he’d dipped in something blue and sparkly. “I could put in a good word with her, if you want. Me and her are like-”
Twilight telekinetically shoved the rest of his snack in his mouth, unamused. “We’ll stop by Rarity’s after breakfast. Romeo over here is just trying to make himself look good.”
I sniggered again. “‘Romeo’?”
“It’s better if you don’t know.”
I shrugged and refocused my attention on the plate of hay bacon, which was getting cold. “Oh, by the way? Dibs.”
Spike groaned and coughed out bits of fried hay
***
As we stepped through the Boutique’s doors, my masculinity started to shrivel up and whine, like a dog being hit with a rolled-up newspaper.
“Are you sure this is the right place?” I asked, cringing slightly. “I didn’t imply somewhere that I wear dresses, do I?”
The place looked fancy as all get out, with drapes tastefully placed around the room, a few flower arrangements near the windows, polished marble flooring, and other such things. There were a few display rooms with pony-shaped mannequins wearing dresses with sinful amounts of shiny precious stones on them, which did their best to burn themselves into my corneas if I stared for more than half a second. Maybe “leaving a lasting impression” had been taken too literally by this Rarity lady.
Before either of them could reply, I heard a sing-song voice, “Coooomiiiiiing~! ”
From a doorway on the opposite side of the room stepped a white mare whose mane put the hair commercials on television to shame.
“Twilight, darling! It’s been a dreadfully long while since you paid a visit! And I see you brought a friend, anypony I should knoo-” she focused on me long enough to catch a glimpse of my outfit’s sad state. “-oooooooohhh dear.”
“Hi,” I said. “Bit of an emergency case here.”
“Well, I can see that,” she said, leaning back as if my clothing’s appearance was a vehement, ongoing personal insult. “Whatever happened to your accoutrement , if I may ask? Surely...” she gestured furtively with a hoof at me, “...things such as yourself do not typically cavort around as such?”
“I don’t make it a habit, no,” I said somewhat self-consciously.
She trotted up to me, going over my clothes with a disturbingly critical eye. “Well, we can’t have you dressed like this so long as you’re in Ponyville for...” She looked back at Twilight. “...what’s he here for, exactly?”
“Refugee from a planet eaten by shadow demons,” Twilight provided.
“Right.” Rarity turned back to examining my shredded clothing without missing a beat. “So long as you’re making Ponyville your safe haven -- so sorry to hear that, by the by -- you’ll not gallivant around the place dressed like some grimy diamond dog.”
“And I imagine you plan on enforcing that decree yourself?” I asked, surprisingly calm given the amount of personal space violation occurring.
“So long as it’s in my power, you’ll be dressed to the nines!” she declared, pointing a hoof in the air.
I felt a bead of sweat on my brow. “Promise not to make me a rhinestone cowboy and we’ll talk.”
She giggled. “Rhinestones. Honestly. I go bigger, darling.” She started to magically drag me towards the door she emerged from. I glanced back at Spike and Twilight, mouthing the words “Help me” as I was taken into the labyrinth. They were both grinning like foxes and waving innocently.
Traitors, the both of them.
***
I was taken into a room that was decidedly less lavish than the previous. A large mirror dominated one wall while the other was covered in the freaking color spectrum of fabrics, ribbon, and accessories. The tools of torture, I thought with a grim expression.
Rarity had taken several measuring tapes from a nearby table and trotted up to me. “I’ll have to ask that you remove those rags at once.”
“What.”
She rolled her eyes. “This would be my first time crafting a set of clothing befitting a... err...”
“Human,” I offered.
“Human! Yes, right, I need your measurements to begin, and the sooner we are rid of your crime against fashion, the better!”
Her horn started glowing, moving the tapes closer, ever closer. I backed up into the wall. My heart sank and I offered a small prayer to whatever gods still listened.
***
“I swear you put a stitch through my left shoulder,” I groaned.
“It’s a rough seam, dear, I’ll smooth it out once I’ve finished,” Rarity replied, floating a needle uncomfortably close to me.
“Do you build your outfits around your clients often, or am I just special?”
“If I had a humannequin to dress up, I wouldn’t need the hooves-on approach. New shapes and proportions, you see. Wonderful challenge. Now hold still! ”
“Not sure that’s a word- Ow!” My retort was cut off by yet another prick.
She tsked and shook her head. “I said hold still! Now I think you really do have a stitch going in you.”
“You did that on purpose!”
“I most certainly did not, but I may just do it again now if you keep up the crybaby act.”
I put on a wry smile. “So complaining when I’m dragged into the torture chamber and given an amateur acupuncture treatment makes me a cryba- Ow!”
“That was for calling me an amateur. Now hold still before I have to slap you with a paralysis spell. Arms out. Good boy.”
***
I had never been more humiliated in my life. But there’s something to be said for a seamstress who can take you from drab to dapper as hell in under an hour. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that I had multiple outfits in addition to the one I now wore. I had a bag with at least three other changes of clothes, a suit (she insisted I look like serious business when conducting serious business), and a jacket to replace the one I had before. And, thank God, none of them marred my masculinity in the slightest.
“And remember, darling, if you ever need another set of clothes, do stop by~!” Rarity exclaimed, doing the pony-equivalent to a curtsy. It was funny, for sure, but I dared not show it for fear of incurring her wrath. You know what they say, “a mare scorned...” or maybe I’m remembering that wrong. She was a nice lady, of course. A nice lady I’d be avoiding for a few days.
“Thank you, Rarity. And I will.”
Maybe.
Halfway out the door, I realized I still really had nothing to sleep in. But, I decided, an entire hour of FASHION with Rarity was enough for one day. God help me if I start saying “fabulous~! ” from diva overexposure.
“...seems better now.”
I overheard Twilight talking in the next room. I slowed.
“You sure?” asked Spike. “When I saw him last night, he looked really messed up. All dirty and jittery, like he’d spent the night in a Quarry Eel nest.”
“Well, it wasn’t that bad, but it was pretty close. Something about those monsters really scared him.”
“Well, I’d be scared, too. They sounded pretty-”
“No, I mean he was terrified, ” Twilight interrupted, sounding like she was trying to impress upon him the depth of my hypothetical descent into madness. “I haven’t seen somepony so scared for their life since Rarity fell out of Cloudsdale Colosseum. And even then, she was more in shock than anything. Rend looked like he was about to drop dead.”
Okay, I wasn’t that bad, was I? I was just trying to make sure that damn Heartless died before I did. Pardon me for not being able to keep a straight face while defending the integrity of your home planet. I had more important stuff on my mind at the time, you know?
“...And what was really weird was after we got home and he’d gone to bed.”
What.
“He kept tossing and turning, muttering all night like he’d been having some sort of nightmares.”
Wait. What?
“I tried to use that dream-piercing spell Luna taught me, but nothing came up. Even though I could see the signs of REM sleep, it’s like he wasn’t dreaming at all!”
...What?!
“I’m afraid the monsters might have infected him with some sort of black magic that’s tearing up his mind. I’ve been asking about spells like that in my letters, but the Canterlot Library hasn’t found-”
I stepped into the room and cleared my throat. “Ahem. Hi.”
Twilight gasped and her eyes went to the size of pinpricks. Spike gave a small yelp and quickly put Twilight’s front legs between himself and me. I must have done a good job at looking imposing, even with the bag of clothes in hand.
“Uh, hey! Rend, you’re, uh,” she coughed into a hoof and smiled insincerely. “Looking good.”
I folded my arms. “Really. I was under the impression I looked like I’d spent the night in a whatever nest.”
She wilted. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Doesn’t matter,” I said, walking past them and pushing the door open. “It’s mostly all true anyway. Can’t recall any nightmares, but you seem to have a handle on most of the rest.”
She walked uncertainly to the door I was holding open. “You sound awfully cavalier about all this. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m as okay as you can be after being reminded of a night like that.” She winced. I mentally ground a palm against my forehead. Guilting ponies was not on my to-do list. “Listen,” I sighed. “I'm gonna go ahead and make this easier for the both of us. I’d like it if you just didn't try to hide things. Right now, you and your friends are the only ones I trust. Doing or saying things behind my back isn't helping matters.”
“Alright,” she said, nodding, but the guilt didn’t leave her eyes. Concerning, but I decided not to press the matter. Mention of the previous night right after the full-body treatment from Rarity had sapped a good amount of my energy. As the three of us left Carousel Boutique, I wanted nothing more than to take a nice, relaxing nap. Maybe for the rest of my life.
So, of course, that’s when Pinkie Pie showed up.
I had closed my eyes for but a second, and when they opened again, instead of seeing the cobbled roads of Ponyville, I saw a wide-eyed, slack-jawed, pink-as-all-hell pony sitting on her haunches directly in my path. I almost stumbled over her.
“Uh, hi-” I was interrupted by a massive intake of air that I swear pulled me in a few inches closer.
“OHHHH MY GOSH Twilight! You didn’t tell me you’d made a new friend! What’s his name? Is it a he? Where’d he get those duds? Oh, is he working with Rarity? Oh my gosh, did Rarity hire a new assistant? Where’s this one from? Saddle Arabia? Minotaurkey? Manehatten? He’s not from around here, I don’t think, locals don’t have so many hands. Two. One, two. Two hands. And so many fingers! I don’t think the last thing with fingers I saw had so many fingers! Man, he must be working for Rarity, then, because the last assistant who had fingers she hired only had eight, and this one has ten, and that’s almost a whole twenty five percent more fingers! Think of all the sewing you could do with ten whole fingers! But what am I saying, who cares about sewing, think of all the eating you could do with ten whole fingers! You could eat a whole bag of cheesy puffs and then have the dust on your fingers for a snack later! Which reminds me, I need to buy more cheesy puffs in case of a p... PARTY! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! New friend! He is your friend, right? And if there’s a new friend in Ponyville, we’ve got to throw him a Welcome-To-Ponyville Party! I can’t believe you let me go this long without thinking of it! We’re gonna need banners, and- and party favors! Oh! And cake! I wonder what kind of cake ten-fingered, well-dressed Saddle Arabians eat? Hey, mister! What kind of cake do you like? I need to know, because that’s step one in the Perfect Party in One Hundred and One Steps book! Ohh, I bet it’s red velvet, right? Everypony loves red velvet! Or maybe chocolate with chocolate chips and extra chocolate frosting! No, wait. Angel Food cake! Or is it Devil’s Food cake? I keep getting those mixed up, which you wouldn’t think because they’re pretty much opposite cakes. OHHH, wait, I have an idea! I take Angel Food cake mix and swirl it with Devil’s Food mix, and I make a freak hybrid mutant cake! It’ll either be super delicious or blow up Ponyville, but there’s only one way to find out!”
...Yeah, no, go back up and read it. I had to listen to it, and so do you.
Pinkie ended her tirade with one hoof pointed dramatically in the air. I wasn’t sure why, because I had lost track of what she was saying around halfway.
“...What was that about fingers?”
She looked back at me, blinking.
“Oh!” She put her hoof down, giggling. “Where are my manners? I’m Pinkie Pie! Nice to meetcha!” She stuck her hoof out for a shake, which I eyed warily before I obliged her.
“I’m Rendynn Spire. Uh, you can just call me Rend.”
I flinched when her eyes became larger than ponies normally have them at, which is saying something. “Ooooh!” She pointed a hoof at me, causing me to step back. “You, Rend, are gonna have the best super-duper-ultra-awesomazing-party-in-Ponyville-EVER! Tomorrow! Four o’clock! Be there!”
And with that, she was gone without a trace. I was quite frankly shellshocked. Twilight walked up to me and tapped me with a hoof, startling me into wakefulness. “You get used to it,” she said.
“Used to- What," I sputtered.
“With time,” Spike added.
I blankly started to walk again.
“I’d just like to go home now, everybody...”
***
It was a little past noon when we made it back to Twilight’s library. The cot was dealt with (I suggested it be burned) by way of a cleansing spell from Twilight, which I found to be convenient as hell.
“Since you will be staying with us for the long-term, we’re going to be moving things around in here,” said Twilight.
Let me just say something. I already knew magic was pretty awesome, but having someone like Twilight around just knocked it out of the park. I barely had to lift or move anything . It was great. My only complaint was my dwindling sense of self-reliance. Sure, I could be forgiven for taking a load off after my freaking home planet exploded , but no one wanted to think of themselves as a charity case. Unfortunately for me, that’s what it felt I was rapidly heading towards -- I didn’t need all the help, but it was so much easier to let everypony present do their thing. Go on, make fifty bazillion outfits for free, I‘ll take ‘em. Reorganizing a whole bedroom? Aww, you shouldn’t have. Included continental breakfast? Waiter, table for three.
No one really needed me to do anything, which left me with way too much time to think. And time to think was the last thing I needed or wanted at the moment.
Before I could delve deeper into the dark recesses that were my mind, I heard Twilight say, “And we’re done!”
I looked up to find myself staring at a much smaller bedroom.
“Wait, what happened?” I asked.
Spike popped up from behind Twilight’s bed. “See for yourself! You’ve got your own room now.”
Twilight’s bedroom was originally a large section of the second floor in the library. The area was split in half, with Spike’s basket positioned right next to Twilight’s bed. The long row of bookshelves that dominated one wall were repositioned to make another room, splitting the top floor in half.
One of the smaller bookshelves was fashioned into a door. I pushed through and had to stop myself from feeling terrible. I had my own bed and some light furnishings. A lamp on one of her nightstands, a window, and a few empty bookcases for any interesting books I could find downstairs.
“Oh, God damn it all,” I muttered.
“Rend, what is it?” Twilight replied, coming up beside me.
I gestured vaguely around the room. “This! Everything! I just- There’s-”
She was looking at me with a worried expression. I hated seeing that.
I groaned and set down my bag of clothes at the foot of the bed. I sat down and put my face into my hands.
“Twilight Sparkle, I owe you so very much. You’ve saved my ass twice, gave me a roof over my head, graceful lodging, food that by all rights I shouldn’t be able to digest, let alone eat , referred me to one of the most generous tailors I’ve ever seen, and what have I done? I’ve taken up your free time and your resources and your money . What did I do to earn any of this? Hell , your pink friend is throwing me a freaking party tomorrow! What am I to do, Twilight? Accept it all? I’m a refugee from a destroyed world and would have been happy with a few scraps of food and a few words of goodwill! You’ve got Spike to help with labor and the Princess funding your living expenses? How do I pay you back for all of this? And-” I heard a zipping noise. “Mmmph mphp mpph mphhh...?”
“Rend,” Twilight began. “It’s called ‘being friends.’”
Sister, your definition of friendship is more broad than mine is.
“Me and Spike and everypony else are helping you because we want to. When Rarity sees a cause she finds worthy, she’ll do all in her power to help. Pinkie Pie has a long-standing tradition of throwing a party for every new pony in Ponyville, and you fit the bill. Me and Spike? It wasn’t all that long ago before I discovered just how amazing the power of friendship really is, and you really-”
I held up one hand to silence her and unzipped my newly magicked-into-being zipper-lips with the other.
“Okay, I get it. You enjoy being so generous. But you can see how I feel, right? Imagine if you were suddenly being showered with gifts and found out everything was being done for you. How’d you feel if the only person who wasn’t contributing in any way was you?”
She gave me a vaguely pitying look. “Rend, it’s only been two days. You’ve lost everything-”
“And you’re trying to give me anything to make me feel better. I get it. But the only thing you haven’t given me is the impression that I’m anything but a burden, welcomed or not. It might just be another human thing, but I have kind of a problem with that.”
She was silent for a moment. “You want to belong.”
To put it simply, “Yeah.”
She smiled. “Ponyville is a small town. While the community is always working together one way or another, there is no shortage of needs and work. If you really want to ‘pay’ us back, you can contribute by helping when it’s asked. Some needs are filled- Between me and Spike, we have the library running smoothly!” I heard a grumble from her room. She ignored it. “As I’ve said before, it’s only been two days. Settle in, and we can cross that bridge when we get there, alright?”
I smiled, legitimately, for the first time I found myself on Equus. “Alright. Thanks, Twilight.”
She left me feeling some of the weight lifted off of my shoulders. I was tired, and the bed was definitely something I was thankful for. I was asleep in only a minute or two.
***
Roughly an hour later, Rendynn Spire, still fast asleep, twitched. That twitch made a thump.
That thump caught the ear of Twilight Sparkle, who had been reading a very large book in the other room. She very nearly returned to that book, but a toss and a turn on Rend’s part snagged her curiosity.
A cursory glance told most of the story -- a cold sweat, intermittent spasming, as if being poked or prodded from multiple directions, low, panicked mutterings at something only he could see -- Rend’s slumber was anything but restful.
A minute’s focus brought into memory a scrying spell Twilight had learned from a very recent friend of hers. Its purpose was to peer into a slumbering pony’s mind and interpret the myriad signals within as a coherent image -- a spell to watch dreams, in other words. Rend’s mind was at least reasonably close in function to a pony’s, so the spell should have worked...
...”Should” being the operative word. Twilight was reasonably sure most nightmares didn’t consist solely of a mental “cannot connect” message.
Twilight gave a frustrated grunt, looking back at her abandoned book. It was conceivable that she might go back to just reading and be content never knowing what was giving Rend such trouble. Conceivable, but not at all likely.
Now a mare with a purpose, she trotted briskly to the tree’s kitchen pantry and brought out a box of tea bags. The side of the box had a picture of a happy-looking pony wearing a nightcap, with bags under her eyes. The words underneath read “SANNA TEA -- FOR INSOMNIA EMERGENCIES. ”
Not wanting to waste time, she magically gathered a sphere of water from the tap and flash-heated it. At the same time, she broke one of the tea bags open and began whirling the powdered leaves inside around the floating water ball until the entire thing turned ruddy brown. She nodded, satisfied, and directed the steaming liquid into a nearby mug.
She had been taught one other spell pertaining to dreams, but it also required her to go under. Which was a problem, as casting a spell and falling asleep simultaneously had never been all that feasible. Unless, of course, you were under the ever-reliable, slightly peach flavored effects of Sanna.
Twilight drained the mug on her way upstairs. As her limbs began to feel heavy, she lined up the spell in her rapidly-slowing brain. Once in Rend’s room, she laid a horn on his forehead, set the spell off, and promptly went out like a light.
Thump.