Fluttersaiyan

                                                               Chapter 15: It’s not just TV, its DirecTV

I woke up to the rooster crowing outside. Things are pretty weird in my life. First off I’m not even human, which was a huge realization for me. I’m a saiyan, an alien being from a possibly extinct race, who knows if there was anyone like Frieza, or if the planet was destroyed by him. I got picked up by a tornado and got dropped off in Equestria. Now, I’m cuddling with my favorite pony, Fluttershy, in her bed, in her house, in Ponyville. I know for a fact, that I won’t be here forever. I wonder when I’ll have to go. I don’t know when, but I know I’ll hate the day that I would have to leave Fluttershy. I remember reading “My Little Dashie” and thought to myself, “I don’t think I could let Rainbow Dash go like that, shit, I’d rather eat a bullet, eat hot lead before they took her. Hell, I couldn’t go on living without my favorite little pony like that guy, I would kill my self.” For now, I would have to forget about all of that.

The morning sunlight was filtering in through the windows. Fluttershy was lying on the left side of the bed, and I was lying on the right side, as usual. Her forelegs were over my shoulders, her hind legs were wrapped around my waist, and she had her head under my chin, buried in my chest. My left arm was behind her head, stroking her mane, and my right arm held her close to me, my hand on her flank, occasionally giving her a couple of gentle pats.

I was here, so far, for two weeks. I don’t think I can go without TV anymore. It was painful not having my mind-numbing idiot box to stare at. I had to do something about it. I gently woke Fluttershy up.

“Good morning cutie.” I said to her smiling. I kissed her on the top of her head.

“Good morning Dako.” She replied, smiling back at me.

“I think I’m gonna get up now.” I said to her. She tightened her grip on me.

“Don’t you want to stay in bed a little longer?” she asked me.

“Aw, don’t give me any ideas.” I said jokingly.

“What are you going to do today?” Fluttershy asked.

“I’m planning on going to Twilight’s, see if she can help me with an idea I have.” I said.

“Okay, you’ll be careful won’t you?” She asked me.

“Always.” I said smiling at her.

She nuzzled me with her nose, then let go of me. I pulled the blankets off of me and got out of bed. I grabbed my pants and put them on, later slipping on my boots, and finally putting on my shirt. I tightened my belt, and put on my wristbands. I thought it was funny that I had the exact same wristbands as Goku. I have no idea what the hell they mean, or what their purpose is, they just complete the outfit. I walked over to the bed and gave Fluttershy a kiss.

“I’ll be back, see you later Fluttershy.” I said as I walked downstairs.

I stepped outside shutting the door behind me. I walked down the dirt path leading from the front door a little ways until I had crossed the bridge. I stopped and looked around. It was a beautiful morning, the birds were singing, it was warm, and the sky was clear. Before I took off, I decided to power up. I didn’t use the kaioken, but used my own strength to power up, forming my own aura. A white-ish glow surround me in a blur that looked like the rising hot air of a huge fire, ripple-y and distorted. I powered up as high as I could, blowing dust and grass all around me before finally taking off.

I shot straight up and into the sky at over 500 miles per hour at least. Then I began to curve as I headed straight for Twilight’s place. I got there in only a few minutes, then I landed outside. Sure I could’ve used the Instant Transmission technique, but it felt great to fly. I walked to the door and knocked. Spike answered the door and let me in.

“Hey Dako, what are you up to today?” Spike asked.

“I just wanted to see if Twilight could help me with something.” I said looking around.

“Where is Twilight anyway?” I asked.

“She’s upstairs. She said she was going to be studying your world, or try to anyway.” Spike said.

“Oh, well I think we can help each other out then.” I said as I walked upstairs.

Twilight had several different books floating around her at once, looking for a way to “see” into my world. As I reached the top of the stairs she noticed me and looked up.

“Hey Dako, what brings you by?” she asked with a cheerful smile.

“I heard you were trying to study my world a little, and I needed to ask you for your help with something, something that might help you understand my world.” I said.

“What’s that?” she asked suddenly interested.

“Back when I first met you I mentioned that we had something called, “Television”. Now, I used to watch TV all the time, and I can’t stand not having it.” I started.

“Yes, so what do you need me for?” Twilight asked, getting and idea of what I was getting at.

“Well, since I found that, “Land of the Lost” place, I was wondering that if I found a Television, you could help me and use your magic to get it to work. That way, you could see human life on earth by watching the programming made by people, and I would get my favorite shows and cartoons back.” I said.

“So, you think my magic can help you?” Twilight asked unsure of my idea.

“I know it can.” I said confidently. Like a crackhead looking to score, I was determined to make it work.

“Okay, but I need to see one of these TVs first.” She said.

“I’m on it.” I said as I put my index finger and middle finger to my forehead.

I used the instant transmission to go back to the land of the lost. When I got there I hovered over the vast fields of collected things. I began to fly over the mountains of stuff looking for TVs. I saw the remains of a Wal-Mart and flew down. If a tornado had brought me here, most likely tornadoes brought other things here too, like parts of buildings, and things they contained. I looked around, but not for long as I quickly found a flat screen lying in the rubble. I drifted down to land near it. I examined the TV for a while. It was a new L.E.D. type flatscreen, a modest 32 inches, and it was a Sony. I had to look around a little harder to find a DirecTV cable box as well. It took a while, but I found one with it’s remote nearby. I picked it up then teleported back to Twilight’s at the library.

“Here you go Twilight, not bad huh? I wish I had one like this.” I said.

“So that’s what one of these looks like.” She said as she walked closer, examining it with a careful eye.

“So, can you power it? It takes electricity, but is there a way you could do it with magic?” I asked Twilight.

“Well, I do have an outlet we could plug it into.” She said.

“Oh cool, so you guys really do have electricity and stuff like that.”

“Yeah, we don’t live like caveponies.” Twilight said in a sarcastic tone.

“Oh my god. Say that again, that was so cool.” I said, apparently these ponies evolved like mankind.

“Caveponies?” she said confused.

“It’s fine. So, let’s plug this thing in.” I said excited to get my good ol’ television back.

“She levitated the TV over to a nearby wall and plugged the cord in. Then she did the same with the cable box. I walked over and turned both of them on. The TV turned on to a blank blue screen, it was flashing a black box with white letters across the screen that said “No signal”. Twilight looked fucking amazed. It was so cute, it was almost like if a kitten saw it’s reflection in a mirror for the first time.

“Its, beautiful, it lights up.” She said stunned. “But, what does it do now? You said you could watch shows on this.” Twilight said.

“Now I need you to help me with something a little more difficult.” I said to her.

“What do you need?” she asked.

“Now, I need you to try and make some sort of “bridge” or “tunnel” so that the television signals can be received by the cable box here.” I tried to explain.

“Um, I’m not sure I understand.” She said a little confused.

“Do you know what radio waves are?” I asked.

“No. What are they?” She asked.

“Okay, light travels in waves, I know that sounds weird but scientists back from my world found that out.” I started, but was interrupted by her curious fascination.

“Light travels in waves? How was this found out?” she asked.

“Okay, there’s something called the “Photoelectric” effect, I learned about it in Physics class. Wait, okay, that proves that light is also made of particles, so that would mean…” Again I was interrupted.

“Light is made of particles?!” She asked, standing up getting more and more excited.

“Whoa! Calm down girl, I’ll have a science chat with you some other time, don’t worry, but right now I’m trying to get to radio waves.” I said to her.

“Okay, I’m sorry, continue.” She said sitting back down again.

“Right, well, radio is a form of waves on the Electromagnetic Spectrum, the same spectrum as light.” I could see her trying to stifle herself with effort as her eyes grew even wider, and she began to cover her mouth with one of her hooves.

“Radio is on the low end of the spectrum, light is on the high end of the spectrum. Television is broadcast as a radio wave, and I want you to try and find that kind of wave being broadcast from my world.” I told her.

“I don’t know, I can try to open some portal, but its one of the most difficult, and forbidden spells around. You can’t just bring and send things from one place to another, even from other worlds.” Twilight began to explain.

“Besides, I don’t even know what to look for, I don’t know what radio “feels” like.” Twilight finished.

“Well, this is something that can only be picked up on these kinds of devices, no one else would know they were here. And as for what they feel like, try and “portal” some sun light into the room, then once you know what light feels like, try and focus on a weaker and lower energy type of wave.” I said.

“Okay, I guess you’re right. No one will know. Alright, here I go.” She said.

Her horn began to glow as she began to perform the spell. Instantly a small CD sized purple portal appeared above us all in the middle of the room. I flew up to get a closer look at it. It was weird to try and look at. It existed in two dimensions, you could only see it if you looked straight at it, but move to the side and it would appear thinner and thinner until it was no longer visible. It had no depth at all, none to speak of. Just height and width, but no depth. What was strange was the fact that it was not visible from the back. Get all the way behind it and it was like it was not even there, it defied physics.

“Okay, well, the portal is here and not here. It worked, so, next step?” I asked.

Twilight’s horn began to glow brighter, she was now concentrating on sunlight, the feeling, the warmth, the brightness of it. Soon, the portal began to have light shine through it. Like an invisible flashlight that still shone, light was shining down and out of the portal.

“That’s great Twilight, you’re doing it.” I said. “Wait here, and keep the portal open, I’ll be right back.”

I teleported over to Fluttershy’s to find my iPod. I quickly grabbed it and teleported back to Twilight’s. When I returned I went to the radio function of my iPod.

“Okay Twilight, now, try and lower the frequency a little, imagine a weaker form of light.” I said.

The light began to shift from white light to yellow, then orange, finally stopping at red light. The red light began to get dimmer and dimmer until light was no longer visible as the spectrum shifted into the infrared area. She continued on until I could hear static from the radio. I heard no music or talking, just static, then I could hear high pitched tones, then clicking. Now, I learned about how the universe is full of radio waves, and I was just hearing stars and stuff.

“Twilight, what galaxy are we in?” I asked her. She looked at me like I was crazy.

“The Milky Way?” she said, thinking I wanted to hear something different.

“Holy crap! You have the same name for the galaxy!” I said, excited again.

“Okay, scan around the Milky Way specifically if you can until I say stop.” I said.

“Okay, I’ll try.” She said, as she shut her eyes concentrating.

I began hearing all kinds of different sounds until I began to hear a human voice speaking.

“Wait! Stop stop stop! You’re there, now just hold that there.” I said. “Just try and focus in a little more.”

The signal began to clear up, and I could hear familiar things. I looked at my iPod to see what station I had, I was tuned in to 102.3.

“… at Mothers Window Tint we have it all, we have remote vehicle starters, car security systems, and amplifiers and subwoofers that’ll make your car go, thump thump thump, mother thump! Do it at Mothers and save! Yo, we back from commercial, hear we go ya’ll, it’s one-oh-two-three, The Beat.” The radio said as I turned down the volume. A smile instantly cracked across my face, if the TV thing didn’t quite work out, at least I had radio, and it was my favorite radio station as well.

“What is that?” Twilight asked, with her head tilted and a confused look on her face. She couldn’t have been a cuter pony, at any other time. I laughed a little, the commercial was so familiar to me.

“It’s an advertisement for car accessories, then the guy you heard last was letting the listener know that the advertisements were over and they were gonna resume the music. I’ll show you what a car is if we get the TV to work.” I said to her.

I turned the volume back up to see what song was playing.

“…ya son out in Barbados, cheese eggs and potatoes, smokin’ weed on the beach is my mind workin like Plato’s, analyzin’ the world, fantasizin’ ‘bout girls, I’m handed diamonds and pearls, and vandalizing her curls, sweatin’ the weave out, moans as she breathes out, f…. I’m doin’ in parties with Hova and Steve Stoute? I step over piranha, that’s death over dishonor, they killin’ n…..s for J’s that’s death over designer. Hey Cole heatin’ up like that left over lasagna, remember when I used to be stressed over Duana? Now a n…. only be textin’, gets stressed over Rihanna’s. I’m talkin’ tens and better, b…..s in Timbs and sweaters, and we always argue about the same thing, tell me why we gotta argue ‘bout the same thing same thing… well. Nobody’s perfect, uh, nobody’s perfect ey, ey, uh. Ey but you’re perfect for me. Nobody’s perfect, uh, nobody’s perfect ey. Ey but you’re perfect for me.” I turned the radio down again. Twilight sat there with her jaw dropped, she had just heard other humans talking, and heard their music. I laughed at her expression.

“That was human music Twilight, that genre is called Rap and Hip Hop. That’s the kind of music I like to listen to.” I said. “The guy singing, his name is “J. Cole”, that’s not his real name, but it’s his rapper name. He’s a rapper, not a singer. See Rap stands for “Rhythm and Poetry” which is why it sounds so good, and rhymes a bunch, it just flows.” I explained to her.

“That was amazing, I like the sound of it, but I still prefer the classical music I hear here.” She said.

“That’s cool, it’s fine, I don’t always listen to rap and hip hop, I listen to classic rock though, not classical music. In fact…” I said to her as began looking for a new station, 93.7

“You’re listening to KLBJ, The Rock of Austin, ninety three point seven. I see a bad moon arising. I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightnin’. I see bad times today. Don’t go around tonight, well it’s bound to take your life, there’s a bad moon on the rise.” It was CCR Bad Moon Rising. She seemed to like any music I played.

“Okay, now, lets see if we can get these radio frequencies and a little higher.” I said to Twilight. She concentrated again, trying to find the signals.

The DirecTV box and TV were turned on, now I just waited for the picture to show up. After a minute of searching for the signal something began to appear on the TV screen. I hit the Guide button and the channel guide came up on screen. It worked, I could see the channels and shows that were being broadcast from Earth. I scrolled around and looked for something with people in it to show to Twilight. As I channel surfed I found BBC America and noticed that Top Gear was on. I liked the show, it was funny, and it had a bunch of cars, what else could I want. I selected it and began watching, Twilight was visibly interested and confused at the same time, but she was watching.

“So, those are humans?” Twilight asked. “But they talk, differently than you.”

“They’re English, from England, it’s their accent. I’m American, from America. We have a flatter accent, like most of the ponies here.” I explained.

“What are they doing with those things?” Twilight asked about the cars.

“Those are Cars. A long time ago people rode around in horse-drawn carriages, then people invented the horseless carriage, or “Car” for short. Nowadays it’s what most humans use to travel and get around.” I said to Twilight. Her eyes were huge, she loved the knowledge. And she had the cutest look I’ve ever seen on anypony.

“I have an idea, I’ll get Pinkie Pie to send out some invitations to the others and we’ll have a real quick movie night. How does that sound?” I asked.

“Movie, night?” Twilight said.

“Oh, a movie is like a play, but better. It’s another thing you can watch on TV.” I told her.

“Oh, ok. What are we going to watch?” She asked.

“Um, I’ll figure that out later, I’ll be back.” I said to her as teleported over to Pinkie Pie’s place at Sugarcube Corner. It was around 7:00 now, and they were already closed, but I wanted to see if Pinkie Pie thought it would be fun. She did. She ran out of the bakery to deliver her invitations that she had ready in case an opportunity for a party presented itself. Now I could pick up Fluttershy and wait for the others to show up.

I teleported over to Fluttershy’s and walked in.

“Fluttershy, I’m back, and I was wondering if you wanted to go to a, a party with me?” I yelled out as I came back in. She walked downstairs.

“Oh, Dako, you’re finally back. I was just upstairs dusting, did you say something about a party?” She asked.

“Yeah, Twilight and I got this thing called a TV to work, and we’re going to watch it.” I said.

“Oh, well, I guess that would be okay.” Fluttershy said a little unsure.

“It’ll be fine, we won’t watch anything scary. Come here.” I said as I gave her a hug. I was barely gone for a day and I missed her, hugging her felt better than what I imagine drugs are like. As I hugged her I teleported back to the library where the others were already there waiting for me.

“Okay guys, are ya’ll ready for one of the funniest movies in my world?” I said to them all. They all cheered in reply, which was good, at least if they didn’t know what the movie was, they were enthusiastic.

“Alright guys, this movie is called, The Hangover.” I said.

I selected it on one of the HBO movie channels and it was just starting. Everyone sat and watched the movie with surprise, they were all so cute, like kittens watching TV or something. They were so excited to see humans that they never saw before, in the world that people lived in, and got to see what human life was like, at a slightly exaggerated scale. As I expected they didn’t get every joke that I did, but they laughed whenever someone was hurt, and attempted to figure out why what I thought was funny was funny. When the movie was over they cheered, shared their thoughts, said their goodbyes, and left. It was a pretty good movie night, if I could think of another good movie then we could do this again.

I teleported back to the cottage with Fluttershy once everyone else had left and said their goodbyes. We went upstairs and got ready for bed. I took off my outfit along with my boots, and wristbands. I pulled back the blankets for Fluttershy and me, then we got into bed. We immediately scooted next to each other and held each other. I held her to me with my left arm and had my right hand resting on her flanks. I kissed her on the forehead.

“I love you Fluttershy, I love you so much.” I said to her. She kissed me back, on the cheek.

“I love you too Dako.” She said to me.

“Goodnight Fluttershy.” I said.

“Goodnight Dako.” She said.