Dead Pony Rising: Off the Record

Chapter Three

Firewater

Flank slowly trotted out of the arena, to find dozens of dead zombie bodies lying in pools of blood. Curious, Flank galloped down the stairs and towards the many dead bodies. Upon further inspection, Flank found out that they were cut in half and their skulls crushed inwards, as if a tire ran across their faces.

“This is weird.” Flank said. He just ignored it and continued down the Luna Strip. As he was clopping along, more and more of the strange corpses started appearing in larger numbers. Blood was everywhere; on every bush and every building. Flank was starting to get nervous, fearing there might be a psychopath nearby.

As he was trotting past the Equestriana Casino, he saw a Zombrex poster covered in blood. But the blood was written, a message, stating I’M NO CHUMP! Flank cringed at the idea of who wrote that.

“…*cough*…Hey, pal,” a trying voice shouted to Flank, “over here!” Flank spun around to Pinkie’s Imaginarium, a small shop located on the Luna Strip, and saw a stallion with a long, slick, black mane lying in a pool of his own blood.

He was wearing a full-body, green, Terror Is Reality jumpsuit. Most of his fur was caked and matted with blood, sweat, and, possibly, tears. He was crying and coughing at the same time; a cough that was heavily filled with the liquid sense of blood.

“Are you okay?” Flank asked, not caring about the ridiculousness of his question.

“No, that chump finally did me in.” He said between coughs. “He’s nuts…you need to…watch out for…him…” His eyes started to flutter closed.

“Where is he?” Flank asked angrily.

The stallion didn’t respond. The life force drained from his mangled body and he slumped forward. Flank looked around frantically for whoever did this; not finding anything. The only clue that he could gather was that the pony in question was drinking. An empty bottle of Flim-Flam Hard Alcoholic Cider lied next to the dead stallion who warned Flank.

Flim-Flam Hard Alcoholic Cider was created by the infamous Flim-Flam Brothers after their huge scandal in Ponyville awhile back. They needed something new to put them above the Apple family and the cider they created was the answer to all of their problems. The cider in question became well-known after ponies discovered it was filled with a foreign and exotic chemical found only in the Gryphon Kingdom.

Alcohol, a chemical that can make any pony, zebra, gryphon, and, possibly, dragon very happy, was added to their already loved cider. The addition gave the new drink a harsh, bitter, yet satisfying taste. After awhile, it gained a nickname…firewater; cider that burns the mouth and throat in a most pleasurable way.

But alcohol had a nasty side-effect; too much can make a pony, or other living being, act crazy. Flank had feared that whoever was getting drunk off of firewater must’ve been a very angry pony when they drink; angry enough to kill thousands of zombies and an innocent stallion trying to survive.

Flank started treading carefully as he continued investigating the unknown psycho drunk off of Flim-Flam Firewater. The tension was starting to get the best of Flank as his entire body started to shake uncontrollably. Not even realizing it, Flank found himself in the center of the Celestial Sisters Park; a small park located near the entrance of the adult pony playground. There were even more piled up zombie bodies that all had been cut in half and run over.

“This place just gets weirder and scarier each passing second.” Flank said as he looked at the bloody carnage. He looked up at the setting sun, the day had gone by way too quickly. Flank looked from the horizon to the Hotel, then to the entrance of Celestial Sisters, and finally the entrance of the Wonderbolt Wonderland.

That’s when he spotted it.

A yellow motorbike with chainsaws attached to the front was sitting in front of the entrance to the Pegasus-themed Park. The bike itself was coated in blood with only a few patches of yellow clearly visible from underneath the many layers of filth and grime.

Flank thought carefully and started to slowly approach the abandoned bike. Each step seemed to take longer than the last. His nerves were continuing to get the best of him. After what felt like an eternity, Flank arrived at the yellow chainsaw motorbike and started inspecting it.

The saws themselves were once a nice metallic grey, but not anymore. The massive collection of zombie blood could fool anypony into believing that red was its natural color. And on top of the right saw was a near-full bottle of Flim-Flam Cider. Flank gulped heavily, realizing he found the nutjob.

“Hey!” Somepony behind Flank shouted. “You get the hay away from my bike!” Flank spun around and saw an angry-looking stallion staring at him with red, puffy eyes. Flank wasn’t too sure, but he suspected the stallion’s eyes were like that because of either too much cider, or he had been crying heavily.

The stallion was wearing faded, blue jeans, and a yellow-black, faux leather jacket with the word Tsuaf stitched across the front. His mane was rather long, and very unkempt, and he was getting five o’clock shadow near the bottom of his muzzle. Flank also noticed that the stallion had, somehow, duct taped a little filly toy to his back. It was a baby filly, the kind that mares buy their young fillies to let them feel like mommy.

“Whoa, chill, ok?” Flank said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was yours.” Flank turned around to give another look over the bike; the stallion trotting up to him in an angry fashion. “It’s a nice bike though.”

Flank spun around and was instantly greeted by the stallion’s face. The smell of the alcoholic cider was emanating heavily from the pony’s mouth. The red, puffiness of his eyes was revealed to be a mixture of crying and too much cider. The stallion started looking over Flank, as if he was a computer scanning an important document. The gruff look on his face started to lighten up and he placed a hoof on Flank’s shoulder.

“Hey, sorry, buddy,” he said, “I thought you were one of those crazies.” Flank had to hold back from vomiting; the stallion reeked badly of alcohol. “You just…can’t trust ponies anymore. I’ve been dealing with nutbars all day long.” The stallion said as he turned away from Flank to look at the zombie corpses, and a few stragglers.

“These zombies,” he said, “they’re annoying, sure, but they’re easy to kill.” One zombie noticed the odd stallion and started shambling over to him. In a quick motion, the stallion grabbed the zombie by the head and brought it closer to the ground, like a move in a good dance.

“You know,” he continued, “kinda’…kinda’ fun even.” He looked deep into the cloudy eyes of the undead, walking corpse. “The real threat is the ponies…the zebras…everybody. An outbreak like this does things to stallions and mares…the violence we experience…the deaths we witness.” Flank just kept watching the stallion with interested eyes.

“Seeing your own loved ones die…horrible, and irreversible…change…” He got a tighter grip around the zombie’s head. “It makes ponies snap!” The stallion twisted and broke the neck of the zombie when he finished his last word in the sentence. “Just like that.” The stallion ripped the head off of the zombie’s body and continued looking at it. Flank started to shake from nervousness again.

“Ponies just like you and me.” The stallion said as he shook his head left and right. “Just when all of our countries should be coming together…we turn on each other instead. I wouldn’t be surprised if we have an Equestria ending fallout.” He threw the head down and turned his attention back towards Flank. Flank shifted uncomfortably next to the bike as the stallion slowly approached him.

“You’re…Buck Greene.” Flank said. “What happened to you? Why are you doing this?” Buck smirked.

“I’ve got a daughter to protect, that’s why.” He said as he got closer to Flank. “And I won’t let anything…or anypony…get in my way.” Flank started looking around the area.

“Your daughter?” He asked. “Well, listen, I can take you both back to the Safe House.” Buck slowly got closer and put both his forehooves on Flank’s shoulders. Once again, Flank had to hold back his lunch.

“Katey needs her Zombrex every twenty-four hours.” He said in a delusional tone. “Right baby?” Buck dropped his hooves and turned to face the doll taped to his back. That’s when Flank realized something…Buck had a daughter and lost her in the outbreak.

“Oh,” Flank said, “your daughter.” Buck pushed Flank to the side, grabbed the bottle of cider, and took a huge swig. After a moment, or two, he sat the bottle back down. He started to tear up…but still trying his best to hold back the depression.

“Do you know what would happen if she didn’t get her Zombrex every day?” Buck asked.

“Yes, unfortunately.” Flank said. Buck couldn’t hear what he had said as he took another big gulp of cider.

“But I would never let that happen.” Buck said. “We still have some time, Katey. I’ll find some if it kills me.” Buck spun back around and started trotting back over to his bike. Flank looked over at him and tried to get him to stop.

“Look,” he said, “let’s get you and your…daughter…” Flank grabbed the lifeless doll with his mouth and stopped Buck in his tracks. “…back to the Safe House so that…” Flank realized his mistake.

Buck quickly turned around and glared an evil, menacing glare at the scared, old stallion. He shoved Flank hard in the shoulder, sending him back away.

“Get the hay away from her.” Buck said.

“Oh, no…” Flank said as he started backing up. Buck threw the bottle at Flank and then started swinging his hooves back and forth, trying to land a good blow against Flank’s skull.

“You’re just one of those nutbars!” Buck shouted. “You just want to hurt her! Keep her from getting her Zombrex!” Buck spun around and kicked Flank in the chin, hurdling him backwards and onto the cold, hard ground. Buck quickly turned tail and galloped back to his bike.

Flank slowly pulled himself up from the ground and watched as Buck got himself attached into the bike. The engine roared to life and the chainsaws started spinning; spraying blood in all directions. Flank got into a fighting stance and prepared for his, possibly last, fight. The motorbike spun around 180 degrees until Buck was face-to-face with Flank.

“Nopony messes with my little pony.” Buck said. Buck flew forward at Flank at terrifying speeds. Flank fell down onto his belly to avoid getting hit by the saws as they passed over him. Buck spun around and got ready for another attack. Flank pulled himself up and galloped away from the psychotic pony.

“You’re dead, nutbar!” Buck shouted as he revved the engine and roared towards Flank again. Flank jumped up and over a small fence that surrounded a garden. There were three of them set up near the entrance to Celestial Sisters. Buck couldn’t control his bike and smashed into the blue, metal fence.

The front of his bike got stuck between two of the metal bars and Buck couldn’t pull the bike out. Flank looked around and saw a wooden baseball bat over to his left. He grabbed it with his mouth and swung hard against Buck’s skull.

Flank missed his target and ended up hitting Buck in the shoulder. The sudden hit caused Buck to jump off of his bike and start to manually remove the wheel from the fence. Flank took this opportunity to pull himself up from the green grass he had been laying on and trotted over to Buck.

“Get away from me!” Buck shouted at Flank. “And get away from Katey!” Buck grabbed a full bottle of cider from his bike, a rag, and a lighter. Flank was about to strike Buck again, but the drunk stallion kicked Flank back to the ground. While Flank was down, Buck stuffed the rag into the bottle and lit it on fire.

Flank realized the danger he was in and got up again. Buck chucked the bottle high in the air and it landed against the grass with a loud shatter. Flank just barely got out of the area; the end of his tail getting lit on fire. While Flank was putting out the small flame on his tail, Buck continued to get his bike unstuck. After a few seconds, Buck got his bike free and hopped back onto the dangerous contraption.

Flank finished batting out the flame and got ready for another barrage of Buck Greene. The drunken stallion revved his engine again and tore after Flank. Flank grabbed his bat again and stood his ground.

In one quick motion, Flank jumped over Buck just as the psycho was driving towards him. While in the air for a few brief seconds, Flank smashed the baseball bat against the side of Buck’s face; the sound of breaking bones was clearly heard over the roar of the engine. When Flank hit the ground, he turned around to see Buck losing control of his motorbike.

He swerved left and then right and then the front wheel buckled in from the first head-on collision. Buck went soaring through the air and smashed hard into the concrete ground. His ‘daughter’ fell into pieces all around Buck and Buck laid there for the longest moment. Flank was worried he may have killed the ex-Motoclops champion. But then there was movement.

Buck lifted up his head and started looking frantically for the small doll.

“Katey?” He asked. He spotted the doll’s head just a couple feet in front of him. “Katey…” he said with relief. His body was moving slowly closer to the doll; inch by inch. “Katey?” Buck asked. “Are you alright?” He was a few inches away from the doll head. He grabbed the head with his hooves and rolled over onto his back, staring at the lifeless blue eyes.

“Katey, you’re okay.” He said. “You’re safe now…that’s all that matters…that’s…all that matters.” He clutched the head closer to his chest, tears streaming down his face. “I can’t imagine what I would do…if…anything ever happened…to you.” Buck then closed his eyes one final time, dying from a broken heart…and excessive bleeding. Flank just stood there staring at the poor stallion.

“That pony,” he said, “was a few screws short of a workbench.” He turned his back on the dead pony and started trotting back to the Royal Sun Mall. As he was clopping along, he stepped on a set of keys with a yellow Tsuaf keychain. He spun around to face Buck…but Buck’s body and ‘Katey’ were gone.

Where his body should’ve been, Flank only found drops of blood.

“Okay,” he said to himself, “this place is nuts.”

*** *** ***

Flank slowly made his way through the halls of the bunker. He could hear two other ponies having an argument just inside the security room. Ray and Rainbow Dash were butting heads, big time.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” Ray shouted at the Pegasus. “You’re nothing but a common criminal!” He stepped closer to Rainbow. “You’ve caused nothing but trouble.”

“PURE is innocent!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “It’s a setup!”

“I saw your buddies on T.V., filly.” Ray said. “I saw your picture.” Flank swung the door open to calm everypony’s nerves.

“Hey!” He shouted. Ray looked over to the old stallion.

“And a stallion like you, a real Equestrian, helping out adorable trash like this.” He said. “You don’t need that kind of publicity, pal.” Flank trotted casually into the room and stood next to Rainbow Dash.

“Ray, I think PURE’s being set up.” He said.

“I saw it on the T.V.!” Ray shouted. “With my own two eyes. Explain how that little trick works.”

“There’s something else going on here, Ray.” Flank said. “I found some evidence at the arena of a cover-up. I’ve got a feeling CK, the host of that game show, is involved somehow. I saw him backstage, at his show, swapping a briefcase full of bits with the colt they showed on T.V. starting this outbreak.” That’s when a young mare stepped into the room: Rebucka Hayes.

“Ahem,” she said to get everypony’s attention, “you could have told me that the front door was locked.” She motioned towards the massive, orange, metal doors that held the zombies outside of the main bunker.

“Hey, you’re that T.V. filly.” Ray said. “Here, I’ll make you a deal, Flank. You two can do your little investigation; see if you can help out this little troublemaker. But ain’t nopony gonna’ cover her flank when the Royal Guardians arrive. And, she ain’t allowed off the premises. I’ll be guarding the door. And don’t think I won’t do what I have to do.” He said as he left the security room.

“What was that all about?” Rebucka asked.

“He just takes his job too seriously.” Flank said. Rainbow Dash sat down at the computer monitors and looked over at the two reporters.

“Please, tell me you found something.” She said.

“Well,” Flank said, “we checked out central security. Somepony’s definitely trying to hide something. Everything was smashed to pieces; computers, televisions, everything.” Flank raised a hoof and placed it on Rebucka’s shoulder.

“And this is…uh…my new friend.” Rebucka looked over at the cyan Pegasus and gave a warm smile.

“Rainbow Dash,” she said happily, “I’m Rebucka Hayes. Channel 6 Action News; I’m here to help.” Rainbow Dash grunted bitterly.

“Oh,” she said, “you’ll forgive me if I don’t think it’s very helpful that you accused my friend’s organization of a crime she didn’t commit.”

“Look,” Rebucka said, “I don’t know what’s going on here, but clearly things are not as they seem. I put out the information I had at the time.” The two were starting to glare at each other angrily.

“Hey,” Flank said to break the tension, “I love a good catfight…but we’re not getting anywhere unless we work together, fillies.”

“Works for me.” Rebucka said. “Whether you’re innocent…or guilty…I just want the truth.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Rainbow said. “But, okay, we’ll work together. I’ll keep an eye on these monitors.”

“And I’ll go back out there to see what I can find out.” Rebucka said.

“I’ll let you know if I see anything.” Rainbow said as Rebucka left the room.