No Rest for the Wicked

by Silent Bob

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Adventure, Human
Length: 4254

On an alternate Earth, one where ponies and humans have always coexisted, Twilight Spiritsong, voodoo master of New Orleans, requires something from her counterpart, Twilight Sparkle, from the universe next door.

They say there are three universes. A trinity. Three paths originating from the same point, but diverging heavily along the lines. One contains Equestria, homeland of ponies and their magic ways. The other, humanity, where technological progress rules the day and night. But what of the middle-child, you could say? What of the universe that lies in between?

One where ponies and humans have always lived together.

Twilight Sparkle and five companions are about to be granted a rare view of this world, in particular the United Equestrian States of America, circa the 1940s. For this universe contains more than just humans and ponies; it also, because of some strange twist of fate, contains counterparts to many ponies in Equestria. Including one: Twilight Spiritsong, voodoo priestess of New Orleans.

And she wants something from the Twilight next door.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-04 21:30:01 UTC

Prologue: Voodoo Child

On a particularly starry night, in a dark alley, a pair of glowing eyes hovered in shadow. They stood, watching... waiting... until their prey came into sight. This happened to be two humanoid figures, dressed in ratty coats, somewhat lower-class looking from what it seemed, who stepped off a trolley at the end of alley. They then began moving down it, wary eyes scanning in all directions. A cat-like grin soon showed itself below the glowing eyes.

"New fish, Twilight?" a voice suddenly hissed from her side.

"Shhhh..." another voice growled, this one too with a southern accent. "Let's not spoil the fun for her."

"Why are you shshing?! They can't even hear us... not if we don't want them to..."

There was a pause, before the first voice answered with, "I dunno, I s'pose it's just instinct.”

At that, they hushed as a grim, though sing-song voice emanated from the once-grinning mouth, apparently belonging to 'Twilight.'

"Hehehe, no worries girls. They don't know what game they're playing here... their friends are about to have a bit more company..."

There was a series of maniacal giggles, as the two figures continued to make their way down the alley-way.

"Y-You sure about this, Steve?" one of the figures asked, speaking in a thick southern accent, a cool breeze suddenly blowing out of nowhere and chilling him to the bone. "Because I'm definitely not... we're definitely in the wrong part of town..."

"Ugh, don't worry about it, man," Steve said, smiling at him reassuringly, his accent a bit more northern. "I'm telling you, this unicorn's legit."

"How do you know that?!" the first figure gulped.

"Cus I heard it from other people besides just Thomas."

Steve halted at that, turning to the first figure with a sigh.

"Look, you trust me, right?"

His friend glanced away from him, taking a deep breath. "Well... yeah, I s'pose."

Steve then set a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. "Well, then trust me on this: if you wanna speak with Elena again, show a little faith, alright?"

He paused, shivering again, before giving a shaky nod. "W-Well... alright. But it's just- I've never heard of any unicorn magic being able to do this before, have you?"

"Well, not really... not something they teach in regular ole school..."

The two continued converse as they moved down the alley, the two glowing eyes still watching them intently... waiting for the right moment. In the little light there was near them, one could see five, distinct, pony-shaped shadows hovering on the wall nearby. Two appeared to be fluttering in the 'air', or more upwards along the wall, that is, while the others simply stood upon the ground.

And nopony seemed to be casting them.

"Ehehehe, humans... so ignorant," a voice chimed from one of the flying shadows. "Only caring about human affairs... human values. If they can't do magic, why bother to study up on it?"

"Envious if you ask me," a haughty voice chimed, this one coming from a unicorn-shaped shadow. "They don't want to be reminded that it's beyond them."

"Just like flight..."

"Or nature magic..."

One of the flying shadows gave a chuckle. "You mean farm magic?"

"Shut up. Same difference..."

"Oh, don't be too hard on them, girls," 'Twilight's' voice chirped from the glowing eyes. "They are, after all... only human. And this is magic that's beyond most unicorns." The voice grew positively menacing. "Magic that's mine alone to know."

"M-Magic that you stole..." a voice squeaked from the other flying shadow, apparently finally gathering the nerve to do-so.

"Oh will you shut up, you wuss... you should be lucky you still have a link to this world," the other flying shadow hissed. "If it weren't for Twilight-"

"W-We would be in heaven..." the voice whimpered.

"You sure of that?" the other pegasus shadow chuckled. "After what we did, and this was before dying... how do you know you're going up and not down?"

"I wouldn't even worry about it," 'Twilight' snapped in a low, stern tone. "Trust me. There is no such thing as heaven.”

"And how do you know that?! There could be more than just the spirit realm!"

'Twilight' remained silent, continuing to watch the approaching humans with her glowing eyes.

"Ah, that’s it, I-I think..." Steve gulped, glancing run-down looking door. A sign swung near it that proudly proclaimed: ‘Fortune Teller.’

The area surrounding it didn't look very inviting, however. There were a multitude long dead leaves upon the ground near it, and some broken bottles sitting atop a few strange, red and blue, seemingly glowing stains. However, the most unnerving sight of the scene hung above the door upon a small, wooden shelf: three cracked skulls, unlit candles jutting out of their scalps.

"O-Ok... that's just creepy," Steve's friend shivered, backing away from the door now.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Oh relax, Jim, it's just for atmosphere, ya know? Come on, let's see if anypony's home..."

He brought a first to the door, paused a beat, as if deciding whether it was a good idea to proceed, before knocking three times.

No answer came.

"Huh... thought Thomas said she was kind of a shut-in..." Steve said, scratching his head.

"W-Whelp, looks like she's changed her ways. Good for her!" Jim quickly said, shuddering, before beginning to turn about. "Let's just get out of here. I-I've got a bad feeling about this..."

"You have a bad feeling about everything, Jim," Steve groaned, knocking on the door again. "Two days no rain? Must be a drought! Two days rain? Sounds like flooding..."

"Ugh, OK, you got me there... sometimes I can be strung too tight, but seriously, Steve-"

And suddenly, a voice emanated from the shadows, it sending another wave of chills down his spine.

"Seriously what?" it said in a taunting tone. "You afraid of stepping in the wrong part of the dark, my friend?"

Both humans' eyes widened as they twirled about. A purple unicorn was walking down the alley towards them, smirking. She wore a black cloak that obscured most of her features, save for her head, of course...

"H-Hello," Steve said, forcing a smile. "Are you... Spiritsong?"

"Twilight Spiritsong," she grinned, before apparently noticing Jim was shivering. She then quickly turned to him. "Though no need to be afraid, my friend... would a little light on the situation help?”

Her horn began to glow a piercing purple, before a spell lashed out from it, lighting the candles in the skulls and giving the alleyway an eerie, flickering glow. And for some reason, the eyes of the skulls now appeared to be glowing a piercing red.

Naturally, the two humans didn't seem any less unnerved, though Steve still kept his forced smile. "H-Heh, thanks... but uh... listen, we heard about you..."

"Heard of me, have you?" Twilight said, quirking her head.

"Y-Yeah," Steve said excitedly. "From a friend of a friend, you see... and we were wondering if-"

"Mmmmm... hang on... rewind a bit,” Twilight said, waving a hoof about. “So, my name's getting around, huh? Well, that's a bit... disconcerting."

"W-Why's that?" Jim asked. "I thought y-you'd want the business."

"Mmmm... used to. You see... I've been trying to keep a low profile lately..." Twilight said, bopping her head back in forth. "And now... you two know my full name. My fault, really..."

"S-So what?" Jim said.

"Sooo... it wouldn't be very... prudent to let you two to go about blabbing about me," she said, her eyes narrowing. "Now would it?"

At that, her horn began to glow as her smirk returned. Steve and Jim began backing away from her, giving gulps.

"E-Easy miss... w-we don't want any trouble..." Steve said, holding up his palms. "S-Specially not from a unicorn of your... your caliber."

"Mmmm... and you know how good I am, too..." she mused.. "Well if you didn't want trouble, you shouldn't have come looking for it. And I'm afraid it's too late for flattery..." She then squinted her eyebrows. "Now, what's it going to take to keep your mouths shut? Should I... hmmmm..." She tapped a hoof to her chin. "Turn you into two little frogs? Not much to be known from ribbits..."

"N-No! Please! We'll keep our mouths shu-"

"Or should I just give you a trip downward?" she continued, her eyes narrowing once again. "Way... downward, hmmm?"

She took a menacing step forward, her horn still glowing brightly.

“Alright, screw this!” Jim cried. “She’s friggin psycho! Let’s get out of here!”

“Don’t need to tell me twice!” Steve gasped, as the two turned and booked it towards the street…

However, before they made it too far, a purple wall of magic suddenly shot up before them, forcing them to a screeching halt.

"Shoot shoot shoot!"

And suddenly, just as sweat was beginning to fall from their foreheads, Twilight let loose a warm laugh.

"Oh relax... I was just messing with you... last thing I want is blood on my hooves." She then gestured to the door of her shop. "How about I just offer you a free show... if you promise to keep me on the down-low. Sound good?"

The two humans sighed in relief.

"J-Jeez... you shouldn't scare a guy like that," Steve said, rubbing a palm through his brown hair. "Just about gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry, sorry," Twilight smiled, still chuckling. "Can't help a little Louisiana fun. Now, come on, step into my parlor. Get out of this... unusually cold night."

Steve and Jim turned to each other, still looking wary, before nodding.

"Excellent," Twilight said in a slow tone. "You won't regret this. Especially you, Jim..."

Jim's eyes widened. "H-How did you-"

"Unicorn secrets," Twilight winked. "Now... come on in... come on in..."

Jim took a deep breath, shaking his head in bafflement, before following Steve and Twilight inside.

The building was dark, and the light of Twilight’s horn was their only guide as they made their way into its belly. She led them into a room on the far end of it, seemingly populated by only a crystal ball, it sitting on a small, round table, with strange lamp with blue fire hanging above it.

"Here we are, boys. Go on, don't be shy, sit down at my table...” Twilight grinned, gesturing them towards two made-for-human chairs.  “And put your minds at ease."

Steve slowly did so, followed by Jim, the former soon asking, "S-So, Ms. Spiritsong... is it true what they say about you?"

"Mmmm... and what particular rumor might that be?" she said, sitting down at her own pony-made seat and setting her hind hooves on the table. "I bet there are a lot of things people say about me..."

"Well, you know, about your.... connection," Jim continued for him, apparently gathering a bit of nerve.

A slow smile crept over Twilight's face. "Ahhhhh.... I guess I was right about you, huh, Jim? Missing a piece of your past, are you...?"

"Y-Yes," Jim gulped, shivering slightly. "My fiancée... she was-“ He took a deep breath, before continuing in a slow, sorrowful tone, “S-She was killed last week. A trolley accident. W-We had a fight beforehand and I-" His eyes began to tear up, and Steve patted him on the back.

"Say no more, my friend," Twilight said sympathetically, though her eyes still seemed to be of a hunting animal sizing up her prey. "You feel... incomplete... like a proper goodbye wasn't made. I know the feeling. That I do..." She then squinted an eyebrow. "Tell me: what was her name?"

"Elena... Elana Proudmore... w-we were dating for five months... and I-" he paused again, continuing to weep.

"Elena... Proudmore," Twilight said, nodding, before she whispered. "Da me spiritus Elena Proudmore..."

Her horn began to glow, and second later, a ghostly, misty image of a beautiful looking human woman appeared in the crystal ball.

"Elena!" Jim cried, lunging forward with a look on his face of pure bliss.

"She can't hear you, hun," Twilight sighed. "What you see there is just an after image. Something burned to the world when she... parted from it. A ghost, in all sense of the word."

"S-So you mean... there's no way I can talk to her?" Jim said, the look on his face sagging to sorrow. He shook his head, gulping, before shooting Twilight a glare. "W-Why would you tease me like that?!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about teasing? Are you doubting me, friend?"

"Y-You mean..."

"Hehehe, like your pal said... I am a unicorn of some caliber,” she said, smiling. “Not to sound haughty, but don't you recognize who I am? The name ring any bells?"

Steve's eyes widened.

"You… I have seen you before. On the newspaper. You're... you're-" he stuttered.

"Mmmm, almost there..."

"T-The..."

"Keep it coming..."

"The student of Queen Celestia!" he finally gasped.

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner!" Twilight cackled. "And who knows what I could have learned from her majesty? Care to make any guesses with what powers you're toying with?"

"S-So you can do it, then?!" Jim said, his apprehension heeding once again to excitement. "Can you let me talk to my fiancée again?"

"That and more, hun," Twilight winked. "Eventually, you’ll be able to be with her… talk with her... walk with her, even..." She then turned to Steve. "And you, my friend... you didn't just come here to comfort your pal now, did you?"

Steve blinked, before nodding slowly. "W-Well... I was hoping... if you could-"

"Lost one too, didja? Kin, I'm betting."

"M-My sister," Steve nodded.

"B-But can you really?" Jim asked, his eyes now saucers.

Twilight merely smirked. "Hehehe... I am the Element of Magic... or was. But now... I'm a child of of the spirits. Something far greater,” she proclaimed. “I can stand up next to a mountain... and chop it down with a swing of my hoof."

"Then... what's the catch?" Steven asked, lowering his eyebrows. "W-What do we need to do to make it happen?"

"Catch?" Twilight said, tilting her head. "Do I seem like a swindler to you? There's no catch, hun. I just need a little bit of your blood, and a shake of your hands... and you’ll be off to the spirit lands..." She then held up a hoof, smiling. "For a time, of course..."

She stood up, making her way towards them, her eyes once again glowing white. The two looked wary, but a hint of excitement laced their eyes.

"So, what will it be, dears?” Twilight asked, venom in her words. “Want to see your loved ones again… or not?"

The two glanced at each other, before slowly turning back to her, nodding.

"Then what are you waiting for, hmmm?” she said, holding two out and standing on her hind legs. “Won't you take a poor ole sinner's hoof?"

“I’m doing it,” Jim said, his eyes narrowing in resolve.

“Me too,” Steve nodded.

At that, the two humans slowly, shakily, brought two hands to two hooves.

And they shook.

"Hehehehehe...." Twilight began to giggle, a slow grin creeping across her face. "EXCELLENT!"

She suddenly clapped her hooves, and the rest of the room was revealed.

And the two humans' eyes widened in horror.

It was absolutely littered with pale bodies. Pegasi, earth ponies, humans… even unicorns. And for some strange reason, they appeared to still be breathing… but they were far from ‘alive.’

"N-No!" Steve gasped.

"Oh shit... she IS friggin' psycho! Let's get out of here, Steve, quick!" Jim cried, and the two lept to their feet. They then bolted to the door, freedom in sight... only for-

"Uh-uh-uh. Not so fast. You've got a contract to fulfill," a new voice giggled.

Five shadow-like ponies (now three-dimensional) suddenly blocked their paths, standing at the door and chuckling at their sight.

"What the hell is this?!" Jim screamed.

"Oh, you humans are so gullible," another one of the shadows sighed. "You go and agree to a deal without really listening to the wording."

A grim chuckle came from behind them.

"I never said when, or even if I'd send you to the spirit realm, or for how long," Twilight smirked. "But that doesn't mean you won't become... spirits, you could say. Til I'm done needing you, that is."

"W-What?! N-No! Please!" Jim cried.

"You should be honored, humans," one of the shadows said. "You're becoming part of something far bigger than yourselves."

"I-I'm so sorry about this," another of the shadows actually squeaked, her tone genuine. “But it’s the only way…”

"B-But- why?!" Steve cried, apparently ignoring her and staring, horrified, at Spiritsong as she slowly approached them. His heart was pumping so hard it could practically be seen.

"Well, you see, I'm in need your souls for a bit," Spiritsong chirped, as nonchalantly as if she were talking about the weather. "For a special project. For you, my ape friends, are some of the final pieces of a long-built puzzle."

Steve began to pant. "Look, d-don't do this! Just let us go! We'll give you anything you want! Just don-"

"I'm afraid there's nothing material you two could give me," Twilight said in a mock-sigh. "I just need one thing... the most valuable thing you have. The most valuable thing in the world, to be honest. Money? Gold? Jewels? It's all nothing compared to what lies within. Even if you don't know it just yet." She then held up a hoof. "Not to worry, though… I’m just borrowing them. And when I’m done, you’ll be returned back to your vessels."

“B-But what about the spirit realm?!” Jim screamed.

“Heh, well... everyone’s gotta die some day, red,” Twlight smirked. “Like I said, you’d get there eventually.”

And Jim’s jaw dropped.

Suddenly, with telekinetic skill, two knives flew towards them, pricking their arms and letting loose a trickle of blood. Twilight quickly levitated two, strange capsules of some sort towards where the blood dripped. The two tried desperately to move, shouting and cursing, but the shadows were holding them in place now... all save for a lone pegasus.

"T-Twilight... can't we find any others?" she squeaked. "T-They don't deserve this..."

"Quiet, Fluttershy!" Twilight hissed. "I don't have time to be playing Moral Oral. Nor do I even care. Hehehe..."

The humans continued to shout, only for their mouths to be blocked by two, shadowy hooves.

"Blah blah blah 'let us go' blah blah blah, I’ve heard it all before," the other pegasus shadow grunted. "Come on, Twilight. Can you just get this over with?"

"One second, Rainbow," Twilight chimed, and the blood hit the capsules. She then touched them to their skin, and they actually seemed to fuse onto it. And as a final touch, she grinned and winked at the captured humans.

"Gotcha." And her eyes narrowed. "Now, one question, boys: how ready are you?"

The shadows muffled their screams, as the life seemed to slowly be drained from their faces.

"I SAID! ARE YA READY?! HOOOHAHAHA!"

And as quickly as the horror started, they became limp. The shadows released them, and their pale, seemingly lifeless bodies fell to the floor… alive, but completely empty.

"Huh, guess so," Twilight shrugged, snapping the two, now glowing capsules off their skins and tossing them to a large looking bin nearby.

The shadow called Fluttershy stood motionless, glancing down at their corpses. "T-This... this is just wrong. It feels all wrong," she squeaked. "W-We were the Elements of Harmony... we were supposed to bring peace to Earth. H-How could we... h-how did we-"

"We are what we are now," Rainbow's shadow growled. "Don't pretend you even feel remorse anymore."

"B-But I do..." she squeaked. "Well… a little… I-I feel so mixed up..."

"Mmmm, she always was the kindest among us," the single shadow unicorn sighed.

"Ugh, come on, Rarity, don't tell me you're getting all sentimental," Rainbow grunted.

"Well, I'm not!" an earth pony spirit bounced. "I like what we are now! It feels so... invigorating! Hehehehe..."

"I'm not feeling sentimental," Rarity huffed. "In fact, I'm inclined to agree with Pinkie. Ever since we were corrupted, I've felt so... free."

"Mph, there's still one problem with all this, though," Rainbow grunted. "When too many people start disappearing, don't you think they're going to start wondering where they've gotten off to? Especially if Person A says to Person B: 'Hey, they were talking about going to that Spiritsong's place before disappearing. Gee, I wonder who might be responsible...'."

"Oh Rainbow... always such of little faith," Twilight chuckled; now busy counting the capsules in the bin. "Hmmm... that's forty-three souls so far... I think I've got enough raw materials, so to speak... though I do have a little excess.. forty-four, forty-five..."

"Hello?!" Rainbow shouted. "Aren't you a bit worried that we might be discovered?! Mobs with pitch-forks?! You getting lynched? Humans have already become distrustful of magic in recent years! Even earth ponies and pegasi are getting wary..."

"Mmmm, you have a point. And it makes sense, too,” Rarity stated. “Despite all their scientific breakthroughs and understanding of the universe, it's still the one thing they can't even grasp at. And what they don't understand... they fear.”

"Very true, Rarity... but no Rainbow, I'm not," Twilight growled. "And you just made me lose count!" She then sighed, turning towards her shadow friends. "You see, I put a special spell on this place that allows only the humans and ponies I want to see it see it. If that happens, we'll be alright. "

"So what..." Rainbow said. "You place a hypnotic suggestion or something on them when they come looking for the place?"

"You saw me do it at the edge of the alley!" Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "Twenty times already! What did you think my horn was glowing for?"

"Ohhh... that's what it was," Rainbow simpered. "H-Heh. Well hey, cut me some slack, I'm a- well, was a pegasus, not a unicorn."

"Ohhh, it's quite alright, my friend," Twilight shrugged. "I wouldn't expect you to know, though I believe I explained this before..." At that, she seemed to be finished counting. "That's fifty-seven; beautiful!" She then nodded, shooting her lifeless shadow friends a grin. "I have more than enough. Plenty of backups... now all I need is the catalyst."

"The soul of an alicorn, am I right?" the last remaining earth pony shadow said.

"Mmmhmmm," Twilight chirped. "You got it, Applejack." She then glared at Rainbow. "At least someone's been paying attention to me, Rainbow."

"Hmph," she grunted, folding her arms.

"Oooo, so who's the lucky volunteer?" Pinkie bounced. "Queen Celestia? Arch-Mage Luna?" She gave a vicious laugh. "Ooooh, seriously? That's just wicked. Beautiful. Your own foal sitter? Princess Cadence?"

"Nawww, The Crystal Canadian Empire is far too cold this time of year," Twilight said, waving about a bored hoof. "And either way, Cadence, though I hate to admit it, would be a doozy to capture. The same with the others. But..."

She then began to smirk.

"What?" Rarity asked.

"Mmmm... have I told you five of the Legend of the Three Spheres?"

"Told us? That tale goes back far beyond any of our times!" Rainbow laughed. "Three universes linked together. One populated solely by humans. One by ponies. And the other... a mix. This one. With the spirit realm in-between them all. It's a ghost story older than sin itself!"

"Well, you best start believing in ghost stories, then, Rainbow," Twilight smirked. "You've long since been in one." She then walked over to her crystal ball, her horn beginning to glow. "You see, the theory of alternate universes has been gaining some credibility these days, from well-known, both human and pony scientists and philosophers. William James... John Archibald Wheeler...” She winced slightly. “Well, Albert Hoofenstein won't admit it yet, but he'll get there one day. He'll get there..."

"They're just theories, though... where are you going with this, dearest?" Rarity asked.

"If there's one thing I know about magic history," Twilight chuckled. "It's that many modern scientific beliefs coincide with old tales... and do you know why?"

"Why?" Rainbow said, folding her arms again.

"Because I think some unicorns in the past, whether accidently or not, have been able to view these... alternate universes. And that's where the story stems from." Her smirk became a wicked grin. "And now... I'm about to join their ranks."

And suddenly, the crystal ball flickered on. And to the shock of her shadow friends, and to Twilight's widening grin, shown in it was an image of an alicorn... a small one, but an alicorn none-the-less... who was pretty much a spit-image of Twilight Spiritsong.

"W-Who the heck is-"

"Girls, may I introduce you to Twilight Sparkle," she cackled. "Newest member of Equestria's, that's right, just Equestria's, royalty." She then twirled about to her friends, and though their eyes and mouths were no longer easily visible, she could practically feel them gawking. "And on the Fifth of December, when the stars align, I'm going to bring her to Earth. With her soul... I will be able to achieve my destiny. I will become an Alicorn of Sin. And with my new power…” She smiled broadly, closing her eyes shut with a look of utter joy. “I will kill Queen Celestia! Hahaha! Ohhh yes, the Fifth of December... will be one to remember!"

"Oh sweet lord... this is going to be good," Rainbow grinned.

"Oh it will be..." she said, her eyes narrowing. "It will be..."

And the group broke out into maniacal laughter.