Maybe it was easier then, being younger, being in school. Or maybe looking back on my life then, it was easier. Maybe. I suppose everything looks easier, looking on it with fresh eyes. There were tough times, yes, but again, time has a way of warping one’s perception on things. There were bullies, but there was always Rainbow Dash to help me out, and that I’m very thankful for.
I’m not even sure why I took that offer. The teacher always seemed to like my reports and I got okay grades, so for some reason she offered me a chance to study for a year in Hoofington. Maybe it was the chance to get away for a bit. I always wanted to see Hoofington, but leaving friends and family for a year? Mom and Dad liked the idea, Rainbow even had to twist my hoof with reason to make me see it was a good idea. It took about a month for me to finally accept it.
I remember boarding the train with all my things with my parents. Rainbow had even come along to help out. I was going to the home of the Merry family, the ponies I was going to spend the next year of my life with. Nervousness was the nicest way to describe how I felt. I’m sure my parents might have called it a small breakdown, with the way I was breathing. They constantly reassured me that everything was going to be okay, and I could still come home whenever I wanted. Even as we walked off the train to where I was going to stay, Rainbow had to push me along, telling me it was all for the better and that it was going to be okay. I don’t think even she believed those words, but they helped.
The move in wasn’t too bad; I was staying with one of the teachers of the school I was going to attend. My parents stayed for bit, talking about normal adult things. We even had tea and cake. I knew I had to say my goodbyes eventually and I could only hug my parents and Rainbow for so long. After promising to write and goodbyes said, they left, leaving me alone with this new family. It was strange. I feel a bit bad, being nervous and all, I had little to say. In the end, I just closed myself in my new room.
That first day of school was something else. I had to wear a starched stiff grey and plaid uniform. I was even late to my first class: Science with Mr. Beaker. As punishment for being late, I had to introduce myself to the class first. First. The center of attention, everyone staring at me, there were no words forming in my mouth. I could barely whisper out my name. Even then, the teacher asked me to repeat it over and over. Eventually he gave up and let me slink into my desk. The stares and subdued laughter I got from my classmates were just dreadful.
And that’s how all my classes felt like. No Rainbow Dash to help out. Being alone as the new pegasus in school. That was the worst part about it. Doubt was ever present in my mind, wondering if choosing to go to this school was the right choice. Even in my letters home, both my parents and even Rainbow continued to reassure me. Oh how I wished for the confidence they had, every day.
It was maybe a month in before I finally met somepony else. Maybe met is a bad word. I was wandering carelessly, reading over a Philosophy report when I left the classroom. I ran into a brown stallion, sending both us into the ground, scattering our papers. The small crowd of onlookers stopping and staring only made the scene more embarrassing. So, I fled the scene quickly, thankful that Philosophy was my last class of the day. After getting home, I remained in my room until breakfast the next day.
Trying to avoid other ponies or running into them, I got to class early, content with reading one of my textbooks as my classmates gradually filtered in. After few minutes, I only realized the presence standing next to me. Trying to remain perfectly calm, I turned to the pony there. A jolt of panic nearly sent me out of my chair. The pony I ran into yesterday, standing there. The brown earth pony with a spiky mane, complete with school uniform, had a smile on his face. I couldn’t look him in eye. He was calm though, laying my Philosophy report on my desk.
“You forgot that,” he kept a smile on his face. “Sorry about running into you yesterday.”
“Thank you, but you shouldn’t apologize, I ran into you,” I did my best to stay behind my mane, hiding my embarrassment. I was the one who ran away after knocking him to the ground, I should have been apologizing.
“Oh, don’t worry about that, my fault,” he shrugged off. “Happens quite a bit when I’m reading one of my books. I was just surprised you took off like that.”
“I had um... things…” I let my voice trail off, failing to find an excuse. “I’m really sorry.”
He half-laughed, half-sighed, “Well, if it helps any, you are forgiven of any wrongs you didn’t commit.” The teacher’s entrance into the classroom cut off his next thought, so he took the seat next to mine. After a quick adjustment of my mane, I was able to take notes, but not be able to see the stallion seated next to me. Just like the previous day’s events, I was quick to exit the classroom when the lecture finished. It was just awkward sitting next to him. At the end of day, after philosophy, I made sure I wasn’t reading anything, looked both ways, and left the classroom.
For the remainder of the week, he sat next to me during science. He made many attempts at small talk, at which I responded with short quick answers. He liked to talk, and I just listened. I just felt the whole situation was a bit awkward. I guess I didn’t want to lose someone who actually wanted to talk to me. It wasn’t until a week later that I learned his name, and him mine. His name was Time Turne. His father was a doctor of sorts and ran a small clock shop in town. I didn’t ask about anything, he just liked to ramble on and seemed to be a bit random. Though, he was all business when it came to class work and school, and always received high marks on all the tests. He did seem a bit nice.
The weeks following, our conversations weren’t so one sided. The answers I gave weren’t so short and I didn’t bolt out of the classroom to try and avoid him. It was just nice to finally have someone to talk to besides the Merry family and my friends, in letters home. It wasn’t so awkward now.
Though, it was strange when I left my philosophy class and when I looked left, he was there. His smile grew when he saw me, “Would you care for a nice cup of tea?”
It took a few seconds to overcome the surprise of him waiting there for me, before realizing he was waiting for an answer from me. Only then did I reply, with a simple nod.
“Fantastic!” He replied in his perpetually chipper mood. “Come along then, I know just the place.”
At least it was nice day for going out. By which I mean it wasn’t raining, and that there were few clouds in the sky. It was a bit humid though, but just barely noticeable. We continued to walk, making a small talk about school. The streets were a bit crowded, so I stuck close to Time Turner, I had no intentions of getting lost in a town I didn’t know a lot of ponies in. I’m grateful he didn’t mind that.
The tea shop he took me to was a small little “mum and pop,” as he called it, corner shop. A woody smell added to the homey feel of the place, as did the relaxing fire burning in the back. He was probably reading my mind, sitting us close to the warm, crackling flames. It didn’t take long after we sat down that we were served. Two cups, a small pot of tea and a small pitcher of milk were quickly set, so fast that I didn’t have time to see the pony set it all. The pony did pause after and happily greeted us. The graying unicorn was apparently a family friend with Time Turner’s. The pleasantries were exchanged, orders taken, and the mare left.
Time Turner was quite the gentlecolt, making sure all the small details of tea drinking were followed. Making sure I was served first, even helping make sure my cup was perfect before even serving himself. Even doing the same when our orders arrived. We did talk a bit; in-between sips of tea and bites of pastries. Just more small talk, about school, life in general, things of that nature. I let it slip that I was an exchange student, which surprised him a bit. I guess because I didn’t talk much, he couldn’t distinguish an accent. It was nice to get out for once. Just sitting and talking. I suppose because I didn’t have Rainbow to talk to all the time, it was good for me to just talk. He even paid, even though I insisted that I should pay.
After all the tea and pastries were finished, he even walked me to back to the Merry’s house. He gave a polite goodbye, and then went on his way. I had to nervously explain over dinner to a giggling Mr. and Mrs. Merry who that “nice looking stallion” was. Though my letters home of what happened had mixed responses. My parents were happy that I was making friends and going out and seeing the town. Rainbow Dash told me to stay on my guard and things like that. I didn’t quite understand then, but it was her way of protecting me without being there.
That’s how things went. Talk some before classes, have a quiet lunch, talk more after classes, and every so often go out for tea. Maybe on weekends we would walk the town or something, go to a museum or see landmark. On rare occasions, I would enjoy dinner at his house with his family, and he even had a dinner or two with me at the Merry house. He was always polite in any situation.
Sometimes he would help me with science work, it was never my strong suit, but it was like a second nature to him. Though he would explain something numerous times to me that I wouldn’t get, he would take breath, and try again. I would feel bad every time for keeping him up on the night before a test, trying to get as much information out of him, hoping I would even just pass the test. He never seemed to mind too much though. I just assumed it was because I brought tea for him.
Maybe I should have asked myself more questions when Hearth’s Warming Eve was around the corner, when he asked, me what my plans were. Maybe I should’ve second guessed, seeing a slight cringe on his face when I told him I was going home. Though his mood seemed to lighten up a bit when I said when I was coming back. Maybe I should have hugged him for second longer before I got on the train going home. Maybe I should have done something more.
The holidays were nice to get back with my family. Spend the holidays with them. It was really nice to be home. I told them what I could of the school and the area. And my mom and dad loved to hear everything, but my time with the family during the holidays wasn’t to be too long. Thankfully, there wasn’t much need to coax me to go back. I was actually excited to go back. To finish up my classes there at Hoofington. Rainbow Dash was happy enough to join me. Though, she disliked the fact that we took the train, but understood especially because of the things I had brought. She stayed long enough for tea at the Merry House before she left.
School continued on as usual. With all the studying and tests coming up, I felt a bit helpless and caught up in blur of work. I had little time to spend with Time Turner, though he seemed to be in his own little world when we did have a moment or two to talk. I even asked him about his aloof nature, but he just said he was thinking. I never really pressed the matter past that.
We were walking the halls one day, going to our next class; it was quiet between us as usual. I didn’t mind so much. Him being there helped me from picked on by other ponies.
“Would you like to do something tonight?” His voice deafening and startling from the silence between us, “I mean we haven’t had a chance to have tea recently, so I thought you would like to make that up.”
It only took a few moments to think the question through. It was either another night of studying or go out and relax a bit. “I think that would be nice.”
His expression lit up, the happiest he had looked in a while. “Excellent, is it alright if we do it later than right after school? I have a few things to finish up. So around five or so, I’ll come get you. Six at the latest. Will that work?”
“I think it would, yes. It gives me time to study as well,” I said, returning his smile. “So, I’ll see you tonight then.”
“Indeed, I look forward to it.” We soon said our goodbyes and went to classes. It was surprising how quickly the day went after that. Before I knew it, classes were over, and I was back at the Merry House, studying a bit. There was a quiet knock on the door. It was Mrs. Merry, just letting me know that there was some nice looking colt at the front door. I froze for a moment, trying to catch my bearings. He was here and I was in no shape or form ready. After a few frantic seconds of brushing my mane to be somewhat presentable, and throwing a scarf around my neck, I made my way downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs, there he stood, a saddlebag on his back and a bowtie around his neck.
We exchanged awkward greetings with each other and goodbyes with the Mr. and Mrs. Merry, and then promptly left. We walked in silence. I noticed a spring in his step, something it had been lacking for some time. Walking past our normal tea shop, I wanted to question where we were going, but I thought better of it. He obviously knew where we were going.
He finally led me to a great pasture on the outskirts of town, but we kept walking, walking to a small hill overlooking the pasture. There were some graying clouds forming off in the distance, but at the moment the sun was starting its descent down, unhindered, painting the skies in brilliant shades of red, orange and yellow. He opened up his saddlebag and laid out a towel, pulling out a thermos and two cups, and even a small bag of pastries. “Tea, then? I thought we could enjoy the sunset.”
I nodded in reply and he poured my cup, handing it to me. The aroma alone floating off the tea quickly identified it as my favorite flavour. A small sip confirmed it. I took a seat and gazed at the picturesque scene laid before us, it was so much to take in. The silence between us was filled with the quiet sips and munching on the pastries. I guess I finally decided to fill the void with some conversation. “Wow,” I was finally able to say. “This is all… so wonderful.”
Time Turner sat down next to me and took a sip of tea, pausing to match my gaze at the surrounding area. “It is, isn’t it? It’s my favorite spot in the area. Great spot to come and think about things.”
“So, you come here often then?” My reply left my lips before I realized it. He laughed, which worried me that I had said something wrong. But he smiled; I guess he saw the worry on my face.
“I do, actually. It’s calming, a great way to unwind the brain after a long, stressful day. Escape the town and find peace in nature.”
Another nod and a sip of tea, “I can see why you like it.”
“The company isn’t so bad either.” I turned to him, and he had another bright smile on his face. Which in turn added to my growing nervousness.
“You mean me?” Stupid question, of course he meant me. I guess I’d asked just to make sure.
“Of course. It’s a special place, so I thought I’d share it with someone who I thought was special.”
“Me?” I could feel myself blushing. “But, I’m not that special. I’m just me. Just Fluttershy.”
“Ah, see. That, is what I believe, makes you special.”
My nervousness didn’t help my stuttering response, but I couldn’t form anything comprehensible. I never noticed how close he was until his lips were on mine. The warm, sudden feeling sent my mind racing. I could taste the tea mixed with the sweetness of the pastries on his lips, and I felt my body start to shake. The moment of eternity finally ended, our lips parted, and I turned away.
“I…” Words couldn’t form, my nervousness getting the best of me. But finally, words formed, “I’m sorry, I…I need to go.
”
He didn’t say a word when I left. I left as quickly as I could. I didn’t know how to answer to what had happened. I should’ve known that was going to happen, but then I just couldn’t handle it. Then, I was completely unsure of the situation. Arriving back at the Merry House and avoiding questions, I remained in my room for the rest of the evening, trying to think about what had happened. It started to rain, which seemed to match the mood. I just knew that by tomorrow, he would grow to hate me for what had happened.
I do remember not sleeping well at all that night or the nights following. I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened. My first kiss. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought about everything. Him, us, all the time we spent together. It was all so very confusing. On one side, it was nice he thought of me like that. But on the other side, I didn’t know how I felt about him.
I really wanted to apologize, but Time Turner didn’t show up the rest of week at school. Worry was easy to set in by the second day; his empty seat was dull reminder of that night. I could barely keep focussed by the third day. I just knew deep down inside it was my fault. It took a bit, but I was able to track down his teachers and get his homework. It took even longer to get the courage to go to his house and give it to him.
His mother was quite kind, happy that a friend would bring his school work home for him, led me up to his room, and said he might be sleeping. She let me be and I stood in front of his door for at least a minute before quietly knocking on it.
A voice behind the door groaned before answering, “Uh, yes? Come in. The door’s unlocked, mum.”
“Um,” I opened the door just enough to stick my head a bit through. “Hi, Time Turner. I just wanted to drop off the homework you missed.”
His room was very clean and classy. It was full of freshly polished wood furniture and the smell of old books on the book self. Time Turner himself was on the bed, slowly trying to compose himself. “OH, Fl-fluttershy, I, uh, wasn’t expecting you.” He quickly sat up, but was met with a coughing fit. “Sorry, I’ve been a bit sick.”
“Okay, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. You just haven’t been in class the past few days.”
“Yes, well I suppose a cold can do that to a pony sometimes.” He chuckled, but it turned into a light cough.
I inch forward, “Are you sure that you’re alright?”
“It’s only a small cold,” he waved it off. “I’ve had worse, believe me. I’ll be up like normal by next week. I’m fine.”
“Oh, okay. If you say so.” I pulled out his homework assignments from my saddlebag and left them on his desk. “That’s everything from all your teachers. It’s mostly reading, though. So it shouldn’t be too difficult.”
“Thanks, Fluttershy.”
“It wasn’t a problem, really.” An awkward pause filled the room, but I was determined to not have it hang in the air for long. I had an apology to make. “Hey, Time, about the other day…”
“It’s fine,” his response was quick to follow my bringing up the subject. “Don’t worry about it. I apologize for that.”
“Wha…?” Here I was trying to apologize, and he was making his own apology.
“I stepped over my, well our, boundaries. And what I did was wrong.” His gaze was averted, a bit defeated. “So, I apologize. I just hope it didn’t do anything to compromise our friendship.”
It took a few moments for me to take in his words, and then respond. “I forgive you, of course I do. I probably shouldn’t have run off like that, so I apologize there.”
“I think your reaction was justified,” he shrugged slightly. “But you are forgiven nonetheless.”
“Oh, okay.” I really didn’t know how to carry on with the rest of the conversation. The issue was resolved as quickly as it was brought up. “So, I’ll see you in class next week then?”
He had a smug look on his face, his response matching the apparent cockiness, “This cold can’t keep a good pony down for long. So, I hope so. Thank you for stopping by, Fluttershy.”
“It’s no problem, Time Turner. I’m sure you would’ve done the same for me.” I smiled, heading for the door. “Rest well and get better, alright? I’ll see you later.
“Will do, Fluttershy. See you then.”
I left, closing the door quietly behind me, releasing the breath I was holding. It was surprising how easily the whole conversation went. I was expecting a much longer, more drawn out conversation. It was strange. I should’ve turned around and said something more, but I didn’t. After another quick breath, I went back to the Merry’s home, letting life continue as usual.
He did return to school the next week; not on Monday or Tuesday, which made me worry, but on Wednesday. He was still a bit sick, I think, but even if I asked if he was all right, he said he was fine and had everything under control. It was easy to see he was lying, but I tried to do the best I could to help. I even made a tomato soup for him once. Maybe it was the sickness, but he seemed not all there. A small fire was lost from his eyes, his smile less joyful. I couldn’t help but feel at blame for it, but I did my best. He was my only friend, and I intended to keep him.
It may have been with the school year ending and final examinations around the corner, but we slowly drifted apart. Maybe it was for the best. He needed time to think without me. I probably needed to focus on my studies, but it was difficult to when my thoughts drifted. I worried about what would happen after the school year was over and if we would still be friends. Even with the distance we could stay in contact. Him and “us” thoughts had a habit to appear, about the kiss and what it had meant. How maybe I should’ve said more when I visited him when he was sick. How good it was, how perfect the moment really was. It was a constant thought.
I was lucky enough, with my brain so scattered, I was somehow able pass all my exams. Some better than others, but I passed. With that being over, next came the hardest part. Saying goodbye. It wasn’t too difficult with the Merry Family. Though they were a second family to me, they were there for me just like my parents. They invited me to return and visit as often as I’d like. That was nice. I made mention of when I was leaving to Time Turner, he did make an affirmative of some kind, but I thought he was just saying he’d be there because I wanted to hear it. That hurt.
The day did come when goodbyes were meant to mean something. With all my things at the station, a year of schooling come and gone, I had the Merry Family waiting there with me, yet it still felt empty. When my gaze started to drift around, I finally saw Time Turner. He stood at a distance for sometime, a contemplative look on his face. Locking eyes, we both took a deep breath and he finally approached.
His smile was the same half smile he liked to wear, and I couldn’t get enough of it as he spoke, “I came to see you off, make sure you got on the right train.”
I returned the smile, “Well, thank you. I thought you weren’t going to show up.”
“Not show up?” He scoffed, faking offense. “I couldn’t do that. I had to at least say goodbye properly to my friend.”
He was quickly wrapped up in my hooves in a hug, taking him by surprise. I didn’t want to let go, even as the train pulled up. I didn’t want to let go for the longest time.
“You have a train to catch, you know?” His wavering voice broke the silence between us. “I wouldn’t want to be to blame for you missing your train.”
The embrace between us ended as I pulled away, “It would be my fault if I missed my train.”
He laughed slightly, “You haven’t been at fault any time you were here, and it won’t start now that you’re leaving.” He paused. “Thank you, for a great year.”
“No, thank you.” Now it was my voice to starting to waver. “You’ve been a better friend than anyone has asked for. Oh,” quickly I dove into my saddlebag, pulling out a piece of paper. “My address, it would be nice if you could write. If you want to.”
“I’ll write. Promise.” His gaze shifted to paper, reading it over a few times. He sighed, returning his gaze to me with another smile. “Go along then, you can’t keep your parents waiting forever.”
“Okay. Goodbye then, Time Timer.”
“Goodbye, Fluttershy.”
Getting on the train wasn’t the hardest part. Pulling all my belongings in my cabin wasn’t difficult. Looking out the window and seeing Time Turner still standing there could’ve been worse. But when the train lurched to a start, I saw his heart break through his eyes, and my heart broke with his. I have never cried more in my life.
* * *
Life continued, and we continued to exchange letters. They always seemed to brighten my mood when I received one. Even when school ended, the letters continued. Moving to Ponyville slowed them down, but correspondence prevailed.
I should’ve seen some of the hints in the letters over the next year about going out to places, a school dance, and a party here or there. When he said he was moving into Ponyville to start a Clock Shop, like his father, I was excited to see him. When he knocked on my door one day for a visit, I should’ve expected him and his marefriend. A Ms. Derpy Doo.
I see him around town occasionally with her. The fire in his eyes seems to have returned, his smile wholesome. When I see them together, the thought of the hill, us, and that kiss floats into my mind. Thoughts of what could’ve been appear. “What ifs” pop in and out about what could’ve happened, had I stayed or thought of him differently.
They’re getting engaged, I hear.
I guess life continues on.
