Oh, Most Wonderful of Nights *Sarcasm*
Oh, Most Wonderful of Nights *Sarcasm*
So, we return once again to the wonderful insanity also known as my life. Human Fluttershy is passed out on my bed, buttery wings stretched out on the blossom-pink sheets. She's been here for twenty-four hours, and I am on the brink of insanity, not like I wasn't already. So, a normal brony would be ecstatic to house a Fluttershy, any Fluttershy, except, maybe, an insane one. Depends on the brony. Ahahaha, I'm not a normal brony. Seriously, toss Dash or Twilight at me, just I do not have the attitude to handle such a fragile creature as Flutters, and honestly, it kind of hurts. I'm so torn about eating meat around her, I'm inhaling all my bacon while she's asleep.
"Isabella?..."
Awwww, fuck.
I slammed the bacon on a plate and tossed it on the fridge. "Yes?"
"I had a bad dream." She looked at me with scared aqua eyes. I think my heart exploded inside my ribcage. I pulled her into a hug.
"I can help, come on." I smiled at her. She looked up from her pink bangs and smiled. Hhhnnnngggggggggggg.
Snuggled under the covers, Fluttershy looked at me. I held my index finger up, and walked away to get something. In a box sat a cyan blue toy. It was old and worn, the soft fabric showed the love it received, the stuffing inside squished and the legs floppy. I presented Fluttershy with something very special.
"D-Dashie?" She stared at it, feeling the plush pegasus. I only smiled back.
"That was really special to me. Give her a hug."
Fluttershy did so. She leaned into the pillows, holding the stuffed Rainbow Dash to her face, curling into it slightly. Aaand then my instincts kicked in.
Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepyhead.
Hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed.
Drifting off to sleep,
Leave the exciting day behind you~
I carefully snuck out as her eyes closed to return to my bacon. Don't ever question me, you'll potato.
As soon as the salty strips of a pig's dead corpse were ingested, I pulled out my laptop, powering it up. The clock read 12:19 am, and the light from the screen burned my eyes, but I didn't want to sleep. At least, not at night. Luna is my princess, I dare not sleep too long in her presence. My wallpaper popped up, followed by a big smile. God, I love that picture so much. I slipped a pair of earbuds in my ear as 20% Cooler played itself in an infinite loop.
***
I woke up on the floor, again, my laptop being used as a makeshift pillow. Damn, my face hurt like hell. A soft squeak caught my attention as I pushed myself up.
"Um... Isabella... what does this mean, 100% pork?" Flutters asked me, holding up a package of bacon.
Awwwwww, shit.
Before I start, I bet you want to know my name. Just call me Isabella, because my real one isn't important. Now that we have that aside, why don't we begin?
It was that sterotypical rainy day, whooooo. I was goofing off on my laptop, playing Minecraft and all that shit. I opened up a tab on firefox.
"What was I going to do?" I tapped my chin thoughtfully before I remembered. "That's it!"
I smiled with delight, my head bobbing as the sweet sounds from Everfree Radio streamed out of my speakers. Oh, did I mention, I'm a brony, or, as some think is more appropriate, a pegasister. Anyway, I was sitting there, hitting blocks in my little game as the sounds of pony flooded my brain. Eventually, everything merged into one continuous song, only when my favorites came up did I switch back and stare at the title for a bit. That's it, nothing really striking. Until I had a thought. I closed the lid on my laptop, and pushed it away as I stretched out on the floor. I felt my spine crack as I flattened myself against my bedroom's carpet. That thought still lingered in my mind, and it bugged me until I brought it up.
What if I were to meet a pony? From My Little Pony, silly reader. I mean, I've read tons of fanfics about such phenomenons, but those are what they are, fiction. I draped an arm over my face. Why am I even considering this?! How could a pony get on earth, and even if they did, why would they ever come to me? A knock on the door begins my real story, the one I have to tell.
I practically fly onto my feet and dash to the door, a hand on the knife in my pocket, just in case. I open the door slowly, revealing a soaking wet girl, in her late teens or early twenties. What hit me first, was her blush-colored hair.
Huh, familiar. I thought, watching her. She shifted uncomfortably as I noticed she was, surprise surprise, also naked.
"Can I please come in?" She asked, her voice quiet, too quiet...
"Wha- um, yes." I stuttered, opening the door wider. She murmured a thank you and shuffled in. I swear to god, I did not mean to stare are her lower back, but, you know, I did. She had a tattoo of three pink butterflies.
No fucking way. Was all that filled my mind as I ran and grabbed her a blanket. No motherfucking way.
She was standing in the living room shivering, an arm across her chest. She wrapped the blanket around herself like a dress.
"Sit down, I'll get you some hot tea." I said, gesturing to a big, plush chair.
"Oh, um... thank you..." She said, sitting down. I walked into the kitchen, my mental dam breaking and all the thoughts rushed in. I had to pause for a moment to regain any physical control over my body. After several minutes I walked back in with two cups of tea.
"Do you like honey or sugar in your..." I went silent when I noticed she was asleep, curled in a ball. It was one of those moments where you can't help but smile. I set the tea down and sat on the couch opposite the chair. Is it creepy if I examined her? Probably, but I really didn't give a fuck at the time. This was possibly a humanized Fluttershy!
Close examination at her scalp revealed that pink was either her natural hair color, or she was damn good at dying her hair. Her eyebrows were pink too, only making me think that this could be Fluttershy. I didn't dare look at her tattoo again, now THAT would be kind of pervy, wouldn't it? As soon as she showed signs of waking I scooted away from her, into the farthest corner of the couch. When she finally woke up, it was well past midnight.
"Mmmm, Angel, were are you? It's time for your medicine." She moaned as she struggled to open her eyes. "I'm sure Winona didn't mean to bite your tail so hard."
I had to bite my hand, stomping a pillow as tears of laughter streamed down my face.
"An- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The girl yelled, holding the blanket to her throat, her face white.
"Woah, woah, I'm not going to hurt you." I said, holding my hand out. Her frightened aqua eyes locked to my brown. "Tell me your namend we'll go from there."
"Fl-Fluttershy..." She arely breathed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." I grinned awkwardly, doing my best Twilight voice.
"I'm Fl... ttershy..." She whimpered, hiding a bit.
And... then I felt really bad for screwing with her. "I'm sorry, it was meant to be a joke. That was horrible. Fluttershy, right? I'm Isabella." I said, holding my hand out to shake hers. She brushed her fingertips to mine before pulling away. A shiver ran down my back.
"S-so, it's not a dream?" Fluttershy asked, chewing on her lower lip.
"What's not a dream?"
"Me being human."
"So, you know what a human is. And yes, yes you are."
"Wait... how do you know I'm not really a human?"
Oh crap.
"I just... you implied you weren't."
"Oh, I guess I did." She looked to the ground, her cheeks pink. If she wasn't naked, I'd say it was cute.
I'm not a lesbian, don't take it like that.
"Let's get you some clothes, maybe that will make you more comfortable." I held out my hand again. She took it and stood up. Her hands are really soft... Wait, what? So we went into my room to pick out clothes. I handed her a couple.
"You try them on, I'll go away while you put them on. If you need help, holler." I smiled, backing out. As soon as the door was shut, I collapsed against a wall.
It's not Fluttershy. My mind yelled at me.
"Yes, she is." I breathed to myself. Fluttershy came out a few minutes later, wearing a butter-yellow dress, which gradually turned to pink at the bottom. It had a low back, though.
"Does it look okay?" She asked, turning around. When I saw her back, I noticed something I didn't before.
"You have WINGS?!" I slowly melted into the floor. She looked horrified.
"What?! D-do humans not have wings?!"
I slowly shook my head, my jaw nearly to the floor. She opened them and gave them a couple beats. My brain exploded inside my skull.
She's Fluttershy. My mind stated.
No shit, Sherlock. I mentally hissed back.
So, to sum it up, I'm collapsed on the floor while a human Fluttershy is flapping her wings and I am yelling at my brain.
And yet it seems perfectly normal.
