There was a knock on the doors of the box, and I stepped out, smiling warmly at the pony in front of me. "Ah, hello hello! I'm Doctor Hooves. Wonderful to meet you!" I stepped completely out, shutting the door behind me for safety's sake.
"Sorry to bother you in your Tardis, Doctor. I am Research and Development."
"Eh? Tardis? Oh, right. One of my selves is a Time Lord. For simplicities sake, let's just pretend I'm not that Doctor. After all, some people don't quite know exactly what it is there... Oh, never mind trying to lie about it, it rarely ever gets me anywhere. Time Lord, twelfth regeneration of the Doctor, and resident brown-coloured earth pony who seems to get into much more trouble than he should. What can I do for you?"
"You ramble." The unicorn said flatly, glancing at my flank and sketching out my cutie mark in his notebook. "I wanted to ask you about your adventures. I heard from a certian Pink Pony about an adventure with Weeping Pegasi and Jabberwoks?
"What?" I blinked a few times in confusion before groaning. "Oh for Gallifrey's sake- Or would it be 'Gallop'frey with all of these horse puns- Those are alternate tales of mine, different versions of me."
Research nodded, writing a few things down. "That's interesting. I'm researching the Elements of Harmony in regards to ponies, so I wanted to start with you."
"I guess that means I should say a few things about me, eh? Well, some true things in what Ms. Pie probably has told you are the bubble-butt mare, Derpy Hooves- oh, what? Our last names are the same. W-well, er, that's... coincidence, yes. Like Mister and Misses Cake!"
"That's their married name... "
'Right back to me! I do have her as a companion, I also help her take care of her children Dinky and Sparkler, although I am NOT their father."
Research smirked as I felt my muzzle heat up a bit. "I never said they were."
I mostly ignored him there and continued, "I've gone back to the days of the Windigoes and the origins of Equestria, I saw Princess Luna's descent into Nightmare Moon and watched Celestia tear herself up over sending her to the moon... I've gone through many tines and have dealt with quite a few different creatures trying to destroy, take over, and do various nefarious schemes." I paused, and Research seemed to bristle, a spark in my own eyes reflecting in his.
"I am the Doctor that Humans have seen in their Telly. The doctor married to River Song, and who took companions on magical journeys through time and space... And the doctor who will never forget anyone, human, pony, or otherwise, who he's taken with him. Donna Noble, Rose Tyler, Amy Pond, Jack Harness, Martha Jones, Clara Oswald, Derpy... No matter who I've been with on journeys through time and space, I will never- NEVER- forget them, and will honour the time I spent with them."
I turned his notebook to me, glancing at the necklace with a red hourglass gem. "That, is why I'm loyal. I'll never forget anyone who I've traveled with and befriended."
Research was silent, staring at me with a small glow around his horn. The pony obviously was shocked by what I said, but it was true. "All right. Now that the very deep talk is out of the way, and you know that, how about I show you an alternate timeline. A time when me, and other ponies, were chosen to face Nightmare Moon and had been tested, and a time when we were the ones to face Discord. But first, why don't we go visit Derpy Hooves. I hear she has some nice muffins for ponies who visit her."
"Now. Allons-y! She’s actually made English Muffins for me today. Extra butter too!" The unicorn chuckled and I had a temporary companion with me. I made a note to remember him. After all, even if it's for such a short time, what sort of companion would I be to forget somepony?
-The Time Lord Who Will Never Forget.
The Muffin Mare's Kindness
"Hiya! Gah! Doctor, your muffins are being baked right now. Calm down!" I quietly step aside to let the Doctor in, and the stallion behind him too.
"Sorry Derpy." The doctor looks around eagerly. Of course he would. The mystery stallion flips through a notebook
I Sigh. "Who's your friend?"
"This is Research and Development." The stallion waves a hoof, magic lighting up the notebook as he glanced at my flank. Normally I'd be upset, but he started drawing circles on the notebook. Guessing he's drawing my cutie mark, since he glanced at the Doctor's too.
"Who?"
"Somepony who wanted to talk to everypony about the Elements of Ha-Oh! Chocolate Chip Muffins!" The Doctor ran across my kitchen at Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash speed.
"Hey!" He stopped before reaching for them, a bit of dirt falling on my floor. "Doctor, wipe your hooves first, I don't want you getting sick because you have dirt on your horseshoes."
"Like it's any better than that time you had clouds on your wings." The Doctor joked back, lightly bumping my wing with his flank as he walked back to the mat, making me go red.
"Clouds taste better than mud." I stuck my tongue out at him, only half aware of the unicorn chuckling at us.
"If you say so. I still feel them zapping around in my stomach." The Doctor finished wiping his hooves and ran twice as fast, dodging the dirt he had dropped so I wouldn't yell at him again. Good
"Ahem." Research coughed quietly, looking me in the eyes. Er, eye. He, like so many others, was staring at my wandering eye.
I smiled warmly at him, or I hoped it was warmly. "Oh! Sorry about that sir. So you wanted to speak with me about the elements of harmony? I don't know why." I honestly didn't. It doesn't really make any sense. "I don't have any Magical know-how, and I barely know Pinkie, Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow, and Fluttershy. I really only know them from delivering mail and muffins to them day by day."
"It's not that, Miss Hooves." Research put a pencil behind his ear and smiled.
"Please call me Derpy. Everypony does." And it avoids people calling me and the Doctor Mister and Misses Hooves...
"Er, all right Miss Derpy. I wanted to know why you fall under the element of Kindness." I blinked a couple times. The Doctor had come back with a muffin in his mouth and I just stared at him.
"Do you understand him?"
"Of course I do Derpy! Research here wants to know how kind you are."
"Say what?" I'm not excessively kind, I'm just good at treating other ponies well. I'm no Fluttershy, who spends day in and day out caring and healing the animals. I'm not even like Rarity and her "I'll make dresses for you, free of charge". Or rather, at a lower price than she should. I just make muffins and deliver the mail.
"Well, I guess I don't actually have to ask... It's plain and simple." Research made another note in his notebook, as the Doctor nodded and grinned knowingly.
"Ah, it is it is."
"Hey, hold on a second. What do you mean by "Plain and Simple"?" Are they calling me stupid for not realizing it? Isn't he talking about 'ponies who are excessively' an element. That's what I talked to Twilight about once.
Research turned his notebook to me, a pink necklace with a few bubbles as a gemstone. "Well, Miss Derpy. You're a mailmare, however you bake muffins all day and deliver them to ponies."
"I'm just being nice and friendly. Anypony would do that." I waved him off, but it didn't quite sit right with me. This... Praise. "It's just a pony's way. Honest."
The Doctor mumbled, "Not the element of Honesty." and both of my eyes snapped to glare at him.
"You also worried about the Doctor's health, even though he obviously wasn't." The Doctor quietly complained by I spoke over him.
"Again, anypony would! It's not special!"
"Mama!" Dinky had run in and pulled at my wing. "Can you read me a story?"
"Oh, of course my little muffin." I turned to Research with another warm smile. "Excuse me for a bit."
I tucked Dinky into her bed and told her the story of "Doctor Donna", a beautiful mare who went on a splendid journey on her wedding day to far off lands, eventually going back to the way things were for her own health. A sad story, but Dinky knew that Donna had gotten a happy ending anyways, marrying somepony she loved. I tiptoed downstairs, stopping at the doorway when I heard Research and the Doctor talk.
"... She really doesn't see herself does she?"
"Aye. It's a bit shocking. You saw her eyes, right? She's always been teased and insulted because of them. Why, the first time we met I may have put my foot-"
"Hoof."
The doctor laughed lightly, like he always does with pony terms. "-Hoof in my mouth asking if everypony's eyes were like hers. But she, remarkably, took it in stride."
Research fiddled with his notebook, if the rustle of paper was any clue. "And she didn't mind me prying into her life."
I walked in, chuckling quietly as the stallions jumped. "That's just what anypony would do. I think I've said that a lot."
Research smiled back at me, eating the muffin I passed to him with a laugh. "That seems like common sense, but you'd be surprised at how uncommon that mindset is."
The Doctor and I laughed, and he said, "All right, we're not going to convince Derpy about just how kind she is-"
"Because-"
The two of them, so in synch I almost thought they'd practiced this while I told Dinky her story, said. "I'm not that kind, I just do what anypony would do.'
I puffed my cheeks out as my wings flared in annoyance, going to lightly hit my friend in the head. "All right all right. Enough teasing me. I'll give. I'm a kind pony."
The doctor talked about the next pony he would bring Research to meet and I said I'd come with. I can't leave Research alone with the doctor in his Tardis, after all. It would be cruel and unusual punishment.
-The Mailmare Who Does What Anypony Would Do.
