A heart of gold

by TAW

Rating: mature
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Derpy Hooves, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3921

DerpyDash in honour of her canonisation

Because sometimes characters get canonised and that's kinda cool, but sometimes there wasn't any romantic relationships implied at all and that simply will not do. Because sometimes bubble-butted mares make mistakes and have to apologise, and obviously that means sex for some reason.

Published 2012-01-25 02:57:26 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-25 02:57:26 UTC

Chapter 1

A Heart Of Gold

Derpy Hooves sat there, doing nothing. She hadn't meant to destroy the town hall, she just couldn't resist jumping onto that nice soft cloud right next to it. How was she to know it was a thundercloud? What did they even need lightning for, anyway? It wasn't Derpy's fault the shock had knocked her silly, she wasn't normally that clumsy. Well, she was, she knew she was, but she normally tried to stay out of trouble.

Now everypony was mad at her, and here she was, sitting out of the way and alone. It was hardly the first time - Derpy knew how lucky she was to still have her job on the weather patrol, especially after the incident with Mayor Mare and a small tornado. In Derpy's defence, nobody'd told her she shouldn't practice weather in the Everfree forest, and at least she knew now.

Shaking her head to wash away the last dregs of confusion brought on by the repeated lightning strikes, Derpy hopped to her feet and took to the air, cartwheeling and loop the looping her way over to where most of the weather team were trying to get the wreckage of the town hall into a stable state so they could at least know it wouldn't collapse. She picked up Dash's commanding voice on the wind, and headed towards it - Dash was always the first to take command when she could, so she was the one to talk to about helping.

"Hey Rainbow Dash, where do you want me?", Derpy asked with her best attempt at a hopeful grin.

"Oh Sweet Celestia please no", Dash whispered to herself as she froze in the air and turned to meet Derpy's creepy gaze, "Over there. Or there. Or there. Or anywhere but here, this place is about to fall over and we really don't need any more disasters"

Derpy's face fell, her hopes of being able to help undo her damage shattered. She'd really wanted to make it up to the town, and to Dash especially. She tried so hard to prove she could handle everything anypony else could, despite her lazy eye, and then something like this happens and all of her work was shattered for nothing. If only, she thought, ponies knew the real Derpy, and not just when they saw her being a bit clumsy, things could be different.

She had already started to fly "anywhere but here" when a stray thought echoed around her head. This happened a lot, and normally following those ideas led to bad things happening, but she could hardly make it worse at this point anyway.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash? I'll go away if you let me take you out for dinner tonight. To apologise. And stuff.", Derpy proposed, again with the creepy grin that nobody had told her wasn't endearing.

Dash was taken aback, she knew Derpy was unpredictable, but even so. Unexpected. "Uh, Derpy, I don't think that's such a good idea. Remember last week when you blew my house into the Everfree forest? Or last month when you set it on fire? Or the week before when you delivered Twilight's mail to my house and filled my entire living room with books?"

Derpy winced at the last one. Berry Punch had convinced her that drinking on a work night was fine, because she did it all the time. It took all day to sort the mail out properly. The Mayor's reputation may never recover.

"I'll pay! Please? I promise I'll try not to ruin everything", Derpy pleaded, waiting a beat before adding "again".

"Aww geez, look, okay, fine. Pick me up at 7, that'll give me time to get ready after we wave Applejack off. Now go on, go away" Dash relented, almost but not entirely certain that it was a terrible idea. As she watched Derpy fly a lazy loop away, she caught a happy tune on the wind - Derpy was humming. Shaking her head, she got back to work, barking orders and darting around to do other people's jobs anyway.

Many hours of hard work and a heartfelt "see ya" to the athletic orange beacon of Ponyville's hopes later, Dash flew a lazy flight home and crashed on her living room sofa - she was used to working 3 hour days, so the day had left her helpless to do anything but lose herself to sleep.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

*knock* *knock* *knock*

...

*knock* *knock* *knock*

"Rainbow Dash, are you there?", called the worried grey equine through the thin cloud walls of Dash's house. Listening hard, she could hear light snoozing emanating through the walls. Dash was sleeping. This did not surprise Derpy, Dash slept almost as much as she made a fool of herself. Derpy, thinking creatively, grabbed a bit of a nearby cloud and threw it through the wall in Dash's general direction.

Peering through the hole, Derpy saw that not only had she missed, she'd collapsed Dash's bookshelf (It was being used to hold magazines and food wrappers) and caused such a racket that Dash was currently hovering in the air darting her view around, fully alert. She spotted the hole.

"DERPY!"

"Whoops, sorry Rainbow Dash, my bad" the embarrassed mare apologised, "Hey I'll help you clean up!"

"NO! AWAY! WAIT OUTSIDE! AWAY FROM HERE!!"

"But-"

"AWAY."

Derpy got the idea that Dash was not pleased with her. A few minutes later, a cyan streak zoomed out and came to a stop just before her, sporting an accusatory stare. "What the hay, Derpy, I thought you were meant to be showing me a good time, not more house repair experience!"

"So come on then, where're we going?", she continued. Her rainbow mane was even messier than usual, and her fatigue was made obvious by the slightly strained flapping of her wings. She was smiling, though, which surprised Derpy. Maybe tonight wouldn't be a total flunk after all. Maybe.

"Oh, just that place over by the library, my paycheck won't cover anything better", Derpy said, bracing for the look of disappointment.

"Awesome, let's go. I'll race ya!" shouted Dash behind her as she took off. Even exhausted and a little cranky, Dash could outpace anyone in Ponyville, and it made her happy to prove it. Derpy didn't mind, flying wasn't really her thing anyway. Flying fast generally meant stopping faster, which hurt, and made people shout at her with mean words. Derpy didn't like it when people shouted at her, she was only trying her best.

Catching up to Dash several moments later, out of breath and with a wind-ruffled mane, Derpy saw that Dash'd already ordered. For both of them. A glass of water, a hay sandwich, and a salt lick for after. Derpy's favourite - cheap, but tasty, and with a treat at the end.

"Hey, thanks Dash, how'd you know it was my favourite?"

"Because it's mine!"

Derpy could not decide whether Dash was being particularly caring, or particularly callous. She liked Dash, though, it was probably the first.

The two mares sat down across the two-seater table and dug in, Derpy unable to get a word in edgeways through Dash's ravenous bites. She finished the meal off in no time, gulping down the glass of water in a few gulps before leaning back and burping.

"Aaaah, awesome, thanks. I hadn't eaten all day. Town hall'll be fine, by the way, we managed to prop it up. Can fix it up later, get Twilight to pull it back together probably. Tell her it's 'practice' and she'll fix anything", Dash laughed. Derpy was quite relieved, accidentally demolishing the town hall would have been the single most destructive thing she'd ever done.

"Heh, thanks for cleaning up my mess. Again. I don't mean to, I promise, things just fall over around me"

"Nah, I get it, I do stupid stuff too. Wish I didn't, but I can't help it. We can't all be perfect, eh?", Dash said, almost seeming like she was trying to empathise with the poor bubbly mare. Derpy couldn't - wouldn't - believe that, Dash being brash and boastful was as obvious as the sky being blue, or muffins being delicious.

Derpy finished off her own sandwich while Dash went on about how well the repairs went, and how they even managed to get the roof mostly back up, kinda, taking the occasional lick of her salt cube and getting more and more intoxicated. By the time Derpy started on hers, making sure to drink plenty of water with it, Dash was slurring her speech and having a little trouble staying upright.

"So anyway, like I was ssaying, we uh... aw hay what was I saying?"

"About the ground I broke"

"Oh yeah, that, well, the funny thing is, if you hadn't broke that, somepony else could'a, an they woul go hurt, yea? so realy, you kinda save someone, ger it? anyay ya did good, so comeon, lezz go back ta mine an you can finsh of date there, eh?" Dash slurred almost incomprehensibly. As far as Derpy could tell, anyway, it was entirely possible Dash had just explained the basics of thermocloudnamics again - both were gibberish to Derpy.

"Rainbow Dash, you're dehydrated, drink this", Derpy insisted, proffering the last of her water to the practically incapacitated mare. When she was done, and a little less drunk, Derpy lead her back home, fully intending to leave with maybe a kiss on the doorstep. Dash was too pretty for her anyway.

Dash clearly had other ideas - while she was now less drunk than before, and almost capable of stringing together a sentence, she was still trying her best to brush against Derpy mid-flight, teasing her tail and flank with the tip of her wing. With a dive forward, Dash sped to Derpy's side, hugging under her wing and wrapping her own wing around in an unmistakable sign of attraction and trust. With each pony having only one wing, they needed to work together to stay in the air, proving that they trusted each other to not screw up in one of the more intimate acts one can perform on a first date.

15 seconds later, Dash was picking the twigs out of her mane and giggling at how impressively fast they'd tumbled hundreds of feet down into the countryside below.

"I - *hic* - I think we just broke my dive bomb record", Dash laughed, pulling Derpy closer using her wing like a flipper and looking into one of her eyes. Derpy stared back, and in that one clumsy, giggly moment both of them knew what was about to happen, right there in the dirt and the undergrowth, shaded from the setting sun by the trees and bushes around them. Their heads started to move closer, turning so they could lock lips comfortably.

"Ow!", cried the duo as Derpy accidentally headbutted her wannabe partner.

"Sorry, my bad"

Dash simply burst out laughing, rolling over to push Derpy onto the ground and hold her still and trying to regain her composure. "Just, let me lead, okay?" she wheezed between laughs, pushing her shoulders down and tilting her head. With her breath returned to her, Dash slowly leant forward and kissed Derpy deeply, ensuring that both of them knew no grudges were being held. Derpy was forgiven, and forgiveness tasted like skittles.

With her eyes closed, Derpy looked like any other pony would with Dash's mane draped over their face. Her lazy eye made no difference to how her body writhed under her companion's, and it didn't change how Dash pushed her tongue around inside her mouth, taking in her taste and revelling in the sensation of another. Derpy's reputation as a clumsy oaf made no difference to either of them, lost in the drunk throes of passion, their tails brushing the dirt and debris aside as they subconsciously shifted and flicked.

Dash broke the kiss, and looked down into Derpy's eye, leaving both of them gasping for breath. Derpy looked upwards upon the dim vision of beauty above her as shafts of light flowed through Dash's matted, unclean strands of hair and smiled.

"So about that lightning strike, Dash. Let me make it up to you" whispered Derpy as she pushed Dash off of her and rolled over on top of her. Feeling down slowly with her nose, Derpy started to kiss along Dash's unresisting body, enjoying Dash's coos and drunken hiccups as she stared up into the evening, hair strewn wildly about her face.

Moving downwards slowly, Derpy continued her trail of kisses, crawling down to move her mouth over Dash's neck and chest.

"Ow!", Dash squealed as Derpy jammed a leg into her wing.

"My bad!", Derpy again apologised, carefully removing her leg and kissing Dash's tightly closed wing on her way downwards, wiggling her way closer to her goal. Eventually having made it without further injury to either of them, Derpy lowered her head to have a closer look at Dash's honeypot. The long pink slit shone through her cyan fur like an alluring searchlight to Derpy's impaired vision, her arousal signposted by the darkened fur around it and the musky scent of a mare in need. Derpy moved in to give it a testing lick.

"Oooh!", squealed Dash as Derpy's snout forcefully penetrated her as Derpy one again underestimated the distance. Her typical "My bad!" was muffled by being deep inside Dash's vagina. "Oooh do that again"

"Moo Mpht?", inquired the bubble-butted pony. Dash replied by locking her hindlegs around Derpy's neck and pushing her in harder, until her entire muzzle was nuzzling and Derpy had no room to miscalculate her next move, starting a fresh kiss much further down.

Derpy's tongue started its journey between Dash's hot walls, each touch causing them, and the rest of Dash's toned body, to writhe and spasm over her in time to her moans, her lack of inhibition causing her not not even bother trying to restrain herself.

Derpy continued the sweet, sticky forgiveness long into the evening, her tongue rolling and twisting as her lips moved and sucked enthusiastically, her head following Dash's twitches and turns and arches of her back.

Dash's powerful hindlegs clenched around Derpy's neck, pulling her in even tighter as Dash's mind clouded with pleasure. Squeezing tight as Derpy brought her over the edge, Dash braced against the cold forest ground and let her screams flow loose throughout the trees.

Dash's grip loosened as her legs fell to the leaves and twigs below. Derpy pulled herself free, licking around her mouth to clean her face a little as she looked upon Dash's body and watched the heavy rise and fall of her chest as she breathed deeply. The blue pegasus' head lifted and her eyes started to flutter closed, but she shook herself awake and turned over, struggling to her feet while Derpy flipped around herself, Dash's intentions clear as day on the new night, and the two lovers' breaths crystallising in the air around them.

Straddling her clumsy, but well meaning friend, Dash rested on her back, laying her head down to slowly kiss at the base of her neck. Then nothing. Derpy heard Dash's light snoozing flow around her - a day's exhaustion and a night's dehydration had finally got the better of her. Derpy sighed, a little disappointed, but mostly happy at how well the evening had gone. Dash didn't hate her, that was good. Dash was lying on top of her, drooling down her shoulder and covering her tail in sticky juices. That was less good, but acceptable.

Slowly slipping out from under the slumbering pony, Derpy wondered what she should do. They really shouldn't stay out here, but light proddings failed to rouse Dash from her unwilling repose, and the chilling night air would leave the both of them in poor state come morning. Wrapping her legs around Dash's unconscious form, Derpy took back to the air, heading in the general direction of Dash's house, and the warm safety of a well built cloud enclosure.

Several minutes later she flew overhead once again, certain that this time she had the right direction. Dash slept soundly in her arms, dreaming a peaceful dream of a lazy flight through a summer's day. Derpy did not, struggling against the freezing winds and turbulence as she searched the night sky for Dash's small abode.

Come morning, Derpy awoke to a stiff breeze and Dash's irritated, accusing eyes, barely an inch from her face as the two lay on her sofa, the room in disarray and the dense clouds making up their bedding misshapen and crushed.

"Derpy", Dash whispered into her ear, her voice a low drawl, "why is there a hole in my wall?"

"I missed the door, sorry. You're heavy!"

"Okay", she continued, her dry throat leaving the words husky and pained, "why is there a hole in the floor?"

"Uh... I dropped you. Sorry, my bad. You're okay now, I think!"

Dash rolled over and stared up at her ceiling. "I need a drink", she announced after several moments of silence, flying through to the kitchen where she kept all her small, water-filled clouds. "Want one, Derpy?" she called back through. Derpy happily accepted the glass of water and started to sip it down while Dash gulped hers down to quench her raging thirst. Wiping the spilled drops away from her mouth with a hoof, she turned back to Derpy and asked "So uh, what actually happened last night? I kinda remember the meal, and then something in a forest, and then I woke up here. I mean, I'm used to that, but still"

Derpy tried her best to keep a straight face as she gave Dash a run-down of the night's events, complete with particularly sticky descriptions of what Derpy never got a return from. Dash's bright blue cheeks grew steadily redder as she began to blush at Derpy's uncharacteristically eloquent descriptions and low voice - this time not because of a dry throat.

"Oh Celestia, how much did I have to lick?" agonised the thirsty, hung-over mare, "I don't remember that."
Derpy sighed and looked away - she was used to ponies not wanting to be with her, making excuses and regretting what happened. Not the first time, not by a long shot.

"Man, I can't believe I missed all the fun. Can we start over?" Dash continued, oblivious to the emotional turmoil her moment's pause had caused the poor grey pony. Dashing over, leaving a rainbow trail in her wake, the speedier of the two quickly locked lips with the other, pushing the duo to the soft cloud floor underneath, buckling it slightly and giving them a place to rest. "I never leave anypony unrutted, y'know. Element of Loyalty and all, best excuse I ever had"

Pushing herself up, Dash held herself over Derpy's body, both of them breathing deeply and slick with the heat of passion, and slowly unfolded a single wing. "I've always wanted to try this", she whispered as she wiggled the tip, showing off her incredible level of wing control that few others could match. Bending the whole thing under her body, she looked down and guided the tip to the edge of Derpy's lips, brushing her feathers against Derpy's fur and moaning lightly as she felt the powerful sensations ripple down the plane of her wing and into her body.

"Oh man, that beats a warm updraft any day" she gasped as she pushed the very tip inside, watching Derpy's eyes screw up in pleasure at the entirely welcome but unexpected feeling of penetration. The heat from her lusts radiated into Dash's wing like the hot beating of the sun on a hot summer's day, though no summer's day had every let out a pleasured gasp as she slowly pushed in further, edging the tip of her wing deeper and deeper. No summer's day had ever felt that good when the entire tip of her wing was inside, and no more would fit.

Dash started to slowly pull out, the motion going against the pattern on her feathers and intensifying the experience a hundredfold, forcing her to pause mid-moan to clear her head. Derpy didn't mind, the flexible tip of Dash's wing could keep moving, rubbing, and twisting inside of her, filling her whole body with pleasurable warmth and forcing her own pair of wings to stand to attention and start rubbing themselves against the soft floor.

Steeling herself against the poignant experience, Dash continued slipping herself out, biting her lower lip and hoping to Celestia that nobody was coming to visit her that morning as she braced herself against the remainder of her wall, the two of them clearly visible to anyone around. Screwing her eyes closed, Dash started to thrust, emulating the manoeuvre she'd only ever seen in her most raunchy magazines.

Pushing out as hard as she could, Dash started to wiggle inside in time with her thrusts, rolling against Derpy's sensitive, throbbing walls, rubbing into their well-lubricated surface and not even caring about how much she'd have to clean her wings afterwards. Dash quickly started to lose herself to the sensation, her normal attitude of paying as much attention to her wings as possible paying off by filling her mind with incomprehensible emotion and feeling. Letting her instinctual need to flap take over, Dash rested against the wall and let her mouth fall open, her tongue lolling out and her moans growing unbounded.

Under her gentle yet powerful touch, Derpy was similarly lost, the buckled cloud floor keeping her in place while her body writhed and arched as she felt Dash's wing inside of her. Feeling the pleasure build up inside of her, Derpy let out a long, low drawling moan as the edges of her body began to tingle, and the sides of her mind started to collapse inwards with joy. Feeling the wing's tired motions and hearing the constant shlick of soaked-through feathers escaping into the air before being pushed straight back inside was enough to finally drive Derpy over the edge, finally pushing her to orgasm and completely drench the end of Dash's blue wing, staining it a darker purple.

Feeling her job was done, Dash let her wing relax and collapsed inwards, falling next to Derpy and resting her head on the grey chest. The clumsy accident of yesterday a forgotten memory, the two lay there listening to each other's deep breaths and basking in their presences.

Eventually, Dash groaned and started to move, forcing herself up properly and offering a helping hoof to her lover. "Hey, you want some breakfast? I think I have, uh... something. Somewhere." Dash offered. She paused, halfway across the room, "Maybe. Wanna just go out and grab something? I'll pay this time."

Derpy couldn't think of anything she'd rather do, and as the two mares flew away from Dash's half-wrecked housing, silhouetted against the rising morning sun, any onlooker could see for miles around that their bodies were locked together, Derpy holding up Dash's tired wing as they flew towards a perfectly normal breakfast, and perhaps the most romantic thing either of them had ever done.

20 seconds later they crashed, and halfway through breakfast Dash almost choked on her cheap, dry sandwich as she remembered she'd been on the weather rota that morning and people were going to be mad at her, but nothing is ever quite perfect.