Krass' 255 collection

by Krass McWriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1016

All the cool kids were doing it so I waited til they stop.

Its a bunch of micro stories.

Wheee.

(Tags may very, but I usually write stuff like this.)

Published 2013-02-07 03:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-07 03:00:02 UTC

Did ya know...

“So you used to be human mister...” Fallen Sitar trailed, waiting for the newfoal to offer his name.

“Burning Britches, and yes, I used to be.” He awnsered, nodding.

“Burning Britches huh? Thats an odd name.” Sitar noted.

“Oh, it’s a reference to an old earth saying.” Britches beamed.

“So what’s Earth like?” Sitar asked. Burning Britches looked like the cat that swallowed the canary, but unfortunately for him, Fallen Sitar was one gullible mother fucker and mistook it for geuine happiness to tell him.

“Well, where to start? Have you ever seen a human before?”

“No, can’t say I have.”

Britches smile grew ever more wicked, “Well, we’re about seven feet tall on average and are hairy every except our faces. We give birth by eating our way outside of our mothers, six or eight of us at a time. Our father then tosses us all off the highest cliff he could find and raises only the ones who survive and climb back up.”

“No way!” Sitar boggled.

“Oh yes, and there’s more. Occasionally, one group gets angry at another group and they send their youngest to die at each other hands until people detached from the conflict decide they’ve had enough. Its like if I told you to run in circles until I was tired, but with dying. We also try to make as little physical contact as possible with each other and invented devices to keep each other at bay. Also, we kill stuff for fun.” Britches continued, but Sitar had ran away screaming long ago. “Damn I’m good.”

HLF: Shin Kicking Division

It was cold dark night. The moon was in eclipse, giving the already errie landscape a more haunted feel than usual. The low howling wind almost hid the practiced clambouring of boots and panic clopping of hooves as a young mare galloped for her life.

"Way to get lost in HLF territory Rose," She scolded herself as she galloped through the alleyways of a city that had been largely abandoned. "How're you going to get out of this one?"

"I saw her go this way, c'mon!" A gruff voice called out, rallying the rest of the troops hot on her tail. The sound of leather boots grew louder, where the HLF got leather was something she really did not want to think about.

Suddenly, she came to a dead end. The alleyway ended in an improvised wall made of refuse. What I wouldn't give to have been a pegasus... Rose thought to herself. She turned to face the way she came Maybe... she hoped, but her hopes were quickly dashed as three human men and a woman came into view. Rose flicked her ears back and weakily took a defensive stance.

"Hey there little pony, you lost?" The woman asked, grinning much too wide.

"Ha! Look at her, she thinks she can take on all of us!" One of the men chimed in.

"P-please, just leave me alone! I got lost, thats all! Ju-Just please don't kill me!" Rose begged, crying.

"Kill you? Why the hell would we kill you?" The woman asked quizically.

"I think she thinks we're in the pony killin' division of th' HLF boss." The man on her left awnsered. Rose was very confused, she wasn't going to die?

"Oh, I would say not! We're the shin kickin' division!" The man on right awnsered.

"Shin kicking rhymes with pony whinnying. Coincedence? I think not." The man on the left smiled.

"All them shins, what're they for if not to be kicked?" The man behind the woman murmered.

Rose was now very lost. "What." she puzzled as she scracthed her ear.

"Get her!" The leader orderded as she kicked Rose in the shins. The others soon joined in, each taking a shin as she danced, trying to avoid the blows.

"Oh sweet celestia my shins! Luna why?!"

Pinkie Pie tries NO Xplode

The bell on the door of the GNC jingled as a Pinkie Pie bounced in. "Hello?" She called, not seeing anyone.

"Just a moment!" Bill answered, he was in the back taking stock. Getting to a good stopping point, he placed the clipboard on one of the selves and exited into the main store. "So how can I help you miss...?" He trailed, waiting for the mare to offer her name.

"Oh, my name is Pinkie Pie!" The mare beamed, her smile spreading further across her face than Bill thought was possible on a pony, or, well, anything really. "I don't think I've ever been in a shop like this, what do you sell here?" She looked around at the various bottles of powders curiously.

“Oh, we sell nutrients and work out supplements. We also sell energy supplements and drink mixes.” Bill stated, leaning over the counter.

“Ooo, energy supplements huh?” Pinkie trotted about the store, eventually coming across a bright red bottle full of light purple powder. The label read NO-Xplode and was mostly health warnings. “What’s this?” She asked, bringing the bottle to the counter and setting it down.

“Oh, thats one of the more potent energy mixes.” Bill answered casually. “That ones Fruit Punch flavor.”

“Its fruit punch mix?” Pinkie asked inquisitively.

“Uh, sure. Did you want it?”

“Yes please!” Pinkie beamed, setting the appropriate amount of bits on the counter.

-_-_-_-_-Later-_-_-_-_-

Bill told the police exactly what had happened. The mare had come in, looked about and made a purchase. She insisted on trying some of the powder to see if it was any good. She produced a spoon (Bill couldn't tell where from.) and ate a good bit of powder. The mare commented on the sweet, if a bit syrupy taste, then froze.

After about a minute of remaining completely motionless, Bill decided to see if she was all right. He tapped her on the shoulder and she exploded.

Stunned, Bill swore, then the exploded bits exploded again, but back together. The mare then collected up the Powder and skipped outside.

Author's Note

Oh shit nigga, there's a section for this now?