Chronicles of Crime: My Little…Sister
Part One, The First
"Today is a very, very special day." Mr. Petrovich insisted as he clapped his hands together, eagerly rubbing them as he grinned, facing the Peacekeeping Council of Special Investigations at a picnic brunch he'd organized. As the sun shone brightly down through the occasional scattered puffy cloud, it cast reflective rays off his domed, bald head, his mustache twitching eagerly with delight as he put one foot upon a tree stump and nodded at them all. "Today is day for family. Today is "Bring Family To Work Day". Needless to say, I am going to have wonderful time…watching all of you suffer at the hands of your annoying relatives. I am not having family, HA!"
"YOU'RE! PURE! EVIL!" Milston the lab tech exclaimed furiously, waving his paws in the air as his tail lashed the ground, the draconic experiment 561 Nightwing having to restrain his Experimental American cousin with his golden-clawed black hands. "Pure EEEEVIL!" He shouted again as a mouse-like being with large black eyes and a stupid-looking greenish hat atop his head hugged Milston's leg. Why couldn't anyone else BUT the chatterbox have come?
"It's just fine for me." Haley Long said cheerily, brushing the pink-sprayed tips of her spiky black hair out of her face as she sat with her brother, the former American Dragon, Jake Long, who was sipping some pink lemonade and wearing a big red jacket and blue jeans. Even slightly grown up, he hadn't changed his fashion sense much…his hair was still wild and slicked, just like it'd always been, and his grin was still cocky and arrogant.
"I can't believe how nice he was to have a talent competition set up. Your boss is a'ight with me." Jake admitted to Haley as the other memebrs of the PSCI mingled with the family THEY had, Shinedown apparently being the only member of the team who's family had yet to show, though he was making do with his date to the bitterly cruel "Bring Family To Work Day" brunch.
"Mr. Petrovich just wants to see which of us will botch things in the funniest way, believe me. He can have a NASTY sense of humor." Haley said, rolling her eyes, Mr. Petrovich nervously looking down at his watch over and over again.
"Almost as nasty and dark as your boyfriend?" Jake asked with a raised eyebrow, Haley spitting out the coca-cola she'd been drinking.
"Wh-what?! No! No, no, Nightwing's just a friend! Who happens to be a boy!" She said quickly, shaking her head back and forth. "And interpersonal relationships on the team would be VERY inappropriate!" She added as she vigorously shook her head some more, getting up from the spot. "I'm gonna get some chips and salsa. Like, NOW!" She said, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
"I'd be happy to show my talent, if…if you really think it'll be good." The pink-maned, yellow-furred Fluttershy nervously asked as she rubbed the back of her neck, Shinedown's sunset-colored fur a clear contrast to her own, his eyes focused intently on hers, one shade of blue gazing at another.
"Fluttershy, it's VERY good. I mean, how many people can get MICE to squeak "Three Blinded Mice" without…I dunno, whacking them with a hammer?" Shinedown asked of her, chuckling a little as Milston gave his cousin Squeak a bit of an evil grin, an idea coming to him for the talent show.
"But you haven't really told ANYBODY about your family life. I mean, we all know about what happened at the fraternity of P.O.N.Y…" Nightwing asked as he strode over to him, his "brother" currently at the snack table with Spike the dragon, the two comparing cookie recipes in a taste test, truly a buff, manly thing.
Shinedown shuddered at the mention of the fraternity. "Don't remind me."
"Will your mother be coming?" Nightwing inquired in his smooth, dark voice.
"…no. My mom died awhile back. And my dad's busy with work. A LOT of work." He added quietly, the brony sipping his apple cider with a quiet, solemn expression on his face.
"Ever since Mom died, my father Sunray Cyrus has had his hands full with running the water well n' stuff…"
"Well?"
"Didn't I ever tell you? My dad supplies the EQUI-FINA water that goes through the pipes of Ponyville. It's all fresh from the well he maintains, which is gotten fresh from an underground lake that he keeps nice and clean." Shinedown added with a hint of pride, showing off perfectly-kept teeth. An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
"And your sister?" Fluttershy wished to know as a butterfly landed on her nose and tickled her with gentle kisses from its fragile, mesmerizing monarch wings.
Shinedown's face paled. "Well, uh, see…" He tapped his hooves together, trying to find the right words. "Er…I love my sister very much. But the thing you gotta realize 'bout her is…she's not exactly somepony that I'm really PROUD of."
"Why not?" Nightwing asked with a slight chuckle. "Is she a criminal?"
"No, nothing like THAT, but she's-"
It was then that there came the sound of an enormous carriage being driven, the rolling of large wheels and the whinnying of tough and powerful ponies roaring mightily as they coasted into Central Park. Ol' New York's biggest park and it's best and brightest detective and law enforcement agency was now being greeted by a silver and blue carriage with light fixtures on the side that threw sparks up into the air, a fizzle of rockets launching bright flares high. As Shinedown saw this, his face became paler and paler, his body beginning to quiver as Fluttershy's eyes slowly widened.
"Could it be?" She asked, mouth slowly hanging open.
"Oh no, no, NOOOOO." Shinedown groaned, slapping a hoof to his face as SHE emerged from the carriage, descending in magician's garb, shining moons and stars on a bluish hat and cloak, rather similar in shade to the afternoon sky-like fur she had. It was her. It was his sister.
"Behold, one and all! The one…the only…TRIXIE!" The pony exclaimed, as a dozen different flashing lights and explosions shot around her, a groovy dance beat playing as she strutted her stuff before everyone, one hoof held behind her head, the other on her hip as she sashayed around the carriage, the ponies pulling said carriage all providing back-up harmonizing on the dance beat.
"Oh buck me." Shinedown mumbled.
"The Grrreat and Powerful Trixie is here to bring some MAGIC into your lives! You must all be so honored!" She turned to look at Nightwing, who was looking her outfit over. "I take it you're admiring my splendid attire, Mister Tall, Dark and Draconic?"
"…it's very…uh…well, it…certainly is."
"I think it's rather amazing, don't you?" She asked cheerily.
"Amazing?"
"Outstanding?
"OUTSTANDING?"
"Incredible?"
"Oh yeah, it's definitely incredible, alright." Nightwing chuckled, rolling his eyes as he held one hand over his face, the "Great and Powerful Trixie" turning to look at Fluttershy, chuckling as she looked her over.
"I remember you, you're one of those ponies from Ponyville that was in the cro-" That is, she WAS chuckling until she saw Shinedown, and her chuckle became an enormous, cheery grin, stars practically bursting out from her eyes as she shot forward and hugged him tightly like a Ursa Major, squeezing him and nuzzling him as Trixie squealed like a little girl. "Oh, big brother, I haven't seen you in AGES, and you are looking so FABULOUS!" She crowed, stepping back and getting on her back hooves, gesturing at him so the others could all take a good look.
"Siiiis, you're embarassin' me…" Shinedown mumbled, turning visibly red in the cheeks.
"I just love your new fur color, it's so…so melodramatic and…and ROMANTIC! There's nothing more poetic and beautiful than a sunset, except, of course, a starry night sky with a beautiful MOON in it!" She laughed, swaying her cloak side to side to show it off as the others looked at each other, then at Trixie.
"Er…so…Trixie is your sister?" Fluttershy nervously inquired, one imaginary eyebrow raised as Trixie squeezed her brother again, then hopped over to her carriage, pulling out several instruments, including a guitar, a small harmonica, a tiny piano, and, of course, a microphone stand, complete with microphone.
"…yes, yes she is." Shinedown sighed as he hung his head, Haley looking the pony over as she hoisted the instruments onto her back and carried them off towards the stage that had been set up for the performance piece she intended to play later on. She'd be doing her special talent just after experiment 421, Heartwing, showed off his light energy skills to make a nice fireworks display. "And she's…er…"
"She cannot possibly be any more embarrassing to you than my own "brother" is to me." Nightwing insisted, looking over at the green-scaled Heartwing who was getting visibly angry with Spike over where peanut butter chips or CHOCOLATE chips brought out the best taste in a sugar cookie.
"…just wait until she performs." Shinedown sighed.
…
…
…
… "Thank you, thank you, Heartwing. Was most entertaining. Have never seen anyone do that with light before." Mr. Petrovich said as he clapped his hands, the rest of the crowd visibly impressed with the draconic experiment's performance as Heartwing went to go sit down with Nightwing, who nodded firmly.
"It was…satisfactory and commendable." Nightwing decided at last. "I found myself not ashamed to call you my brother."
"C'mon, Shinedown, cheer up." Fluttershy said gently as she patted Shinedown's back, the pony drooping visibly in his chair, a sour expression on his muzzle. "How bad can Trixie's performance be?" She wanted to know.
"It's not about her being BAD. You don't get my sister…but you're all about to. Just watch." Shinedown insisted, gesturing limply at the curtain as it began to rise and Trixie's music began to play, the blue-furred pony standing dramatically on the stage, her silvery hair flowing behind her, fans set up on one end of the stage as she posed proudly, shaking her hips, one arm held out.
"All the single ponies! All the single ponies!
All the single ponies! All the single ponies!
With that, she twirled around, her body glowing like she was a moon in the night sky, striking another pose as she broadly grinned, wearing nothing but silver eyeshadow and a flowing cloak to match, shining sparkles surrounding her body. She moved like a Goddess in the middle of a tribal dance, entrancing all eyes to be upon her, Shinedown sighing as he shook his head back and forth.
Got Smackers on my lips, a stallion by my hips
Hold me tighter than a diamond ring!
Stop acting up, just lemme drink my cup
Trixie don't care what you think!
"You see the problem I have with her?" Shinedown asked as one by one everyone left the park, Trixie putting her instruments and stage props back into her carriage as Haley gave him a reassuring pat on the back.
"No, not really." Nightwing admitted as Fluttershy fed some of her brownie to Spike, who happily munched away on it, Heartwing begrudgingly slipping him twenty bucks as he walked by. Clearly it was chocolate chips that brought out the finest flavor.
"Trixie…is too smart…and too talented to sing bad pop music…but she's too SHALLOW NOT to!" The sunset-colored brony exclaimed, waving his arms in the air. "She's always like this! She wastes the talents she really has on doing this vacuous, annoyingly showoffy stuff instead of really focusing her talents where they oughta lie!"
"I'll have you know, big brother dear, that I am going to knock 'em DEAD at the Community Theater tonight." Trixie said as her carriage drove by, the proud pony sticking her head out and cheekily sticking her tongue out at them all. "Why, Simon Cow'll be appearing to give a review!"
Shinedown's eyes bugged out as Fluttershy gasped in surprise. "SIMON COW?!"
"Simon who?" Haley asked as Trixie proudly grinned, eagerly nodding in affirming agreement.
"Only THE premiere film and theatre critic!" Fluttershy whispered. "Rarity's told us so much about him. If he gives you his seal of approval, you're set for life in the limelight!" She scratched her head. "What IS a limelight, anyhow?"
"I used to know that." Shinedown mumbled. "It's funny, though. I didn't know he did community theatre reviews."
"Well, he's also in town to visit his girlfriend, Maddy T. Mare. Evidently he's gonna propose!...but he PROMISED me when I was passing out flyers at the The Globe Operatic Theater that he'd be there to see me sing my solo." Trixie admitted. "Ohhh, it's all so romantic! I hope he thinks of my beaaautiful voice when he gets on his knee to propose to Ms. Mare…" Trixie sighed wistfully as her carriage was drawn away, Shinedown nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
"…I really OUGHT to go…" He mumbled. "…I mean, it's community theatre…doesn't cost much…and she IS my sister but…still…"
"Would she do it for you? I'm sure she would." Haley asked.
"Well, I'm no good with INSTRUMENTS except acoustic guitar." Shinedown admitted. "But I can sing. I can sing real well. There was a time when I thought maybe my family and I…" He trailed off. "…you know what? I'm gonna go. Fluttershy, everyone, I know I can't expect you to say "yes" if I-"
"We'd love to come." Haley insisted with a firm nod. "I, personally, wanna see the comedy sketches they put on. They're HILARIOUS, trust me."
…
…
…
… "This is the first performance I have been to that did not involve a pole, several dozen single dollar bills, and me going backstage for a snack." Nightwing thought to himself as he sat down next to Haley, Fluttershy sitting with Shinedown as she tenderly rubbed his shoulder to calm the nervous young brony down, the curtains beginning to draw wide as he looked up to the far right.
"There. See him?" He asked them all as they turned to look up at a fine, powerful-looking steer with piercing black eyes and a fairly stubby set of horns who was wearing a large overcoat and gold chain watch that he was absentmindedly looking at. "That's Simon Cow. Oh boy, he looks bored…bored already. Not a good sign."
"I thought you'd want to see your sister taken down a peg." Nightwing asked, chuckling in amusement.
"Not by somebody who'll get published in every single newspaper in the city. I don't wanna read the morning edition at a stroke after midnight only to find he thinks William Hung could sing better than she could." Shinedown admitted shyly.
"Let's just wait and see." Haley insisted as she noticed an attendant from the bathroom approaching her. "Oh, yes?"
"You left this purse behind, ma'am." He said.
"I have a wallet."
"…in that case I think I'd better hurry back or I am going to lose my JOB." The nervous man gulped as he quickly ducked out of the seating area, people quieting down as the production began with a nice little comedy segment.
"I! CATCH! YOUR! POKÉMONS!" Adolf Hitler crowed dramatically, waving a fake Pokéball in the air in front of Kim-Jong-Il and his Pikachu dolls in an interesting "What If" sketch revolving around every single dictator in world history faking their death and hiding in Bermuda.
"Heh-heh-heh. It's funny cuz it's more true than you all think." Nightwing mused to himself, all the lights totally off. Only the stage was truly lit up, though Shinedown could only worry about that bum steer, Simon. He kept looking at his annoyingly glowing wristwatch.
"Oh, he's bored. Well my sister's up next. He'd better not find HER boring." Shinedown insisted quietly to himself as the stage was cleared for Trixie to make her appearance.
And did she ever. Before their eyes was a brand new kind of Trixie, dressed in a simple white robe, strumming an acoustic guitar, slowly bobbing her head, a vaguely country tune being plucked out, her normally proud and boasting voice now subdued, alluring…gentle, even. What was before them was someone totally different than they'd seen slinking about at the park. Before them wasn't some grown-up hussy in the slightest. She felt more like a little filly playing for her high school in a talent show, vulnerable, quiet…
Real. They realized then. This felt more "real" than any other performance they'd seen so far. The lilting voice that made it's way into their ears from the tenderly-lit stage had a quality that was vaguely divine, and it was clear that Shinedown was not the only one in the family who had clear musical talent.
Let me see you, Mother Mary,
Let me feel your arms around me
As I sit beneath the elm, the sun above me
Casting rays upon the grass...
I adore thee, Mother Mary,
Change me back into that pretty little girl
Let me feel the Autumn Wind upon my face
As I walk to another class...
A million moments of eternity from here until the Spring
I will graduate with honors, Mother Mary,
As you smile upon me,
Looking through the glass...
Her eyes opened then, squarely on Shinedown as a look of awe passed over the brony's face, a look that had never, ever been directed at his sister.
Let me stay holy...Mother Mary...
Let chastity wrap 'round me,
Let the fleur-de-lis intice me
Back to you, back to you,
Please take my hand...
Please take my hand...
"Perhaps we misjudged her." Nightwing admitted as he looked over at the others, Fluttershy's eyes widening.
"She's got such a lovely voice." She admitted. "It really is too bad she doesn't do more things like this." Fluttershy sighed, shaking her head back and forth.
Soon the production came to an end, and everyone was making their way out of the theatre, all eagerly chatting to each other about the performance…especially Trixie's. It was, in a way, no surprise she'd gotten the most people talking about her, but the reason WHY was astonishing.
"I've never heard Trixie sound so…non-Trixie." Fluttershy admitted.
"She was…beautiful." Spike added with a thoughtful air. "Not as beautiful as my Rarity, but still…"
"She was very…poised." Heartwing added as he passed by them, hooking Nightwing's arm. "C'mon, brother bear, let's go out bowling!"
"AH! WAIT! NO! AAAAAA!!!"
"Did I just hear right?"
Our merry band of do-gooders turned their heads to see Sheriff Applejack trotting up to them, looking surprised at the words she'd heard uttered from their lips. "Trixie? As in TRIXIE-Trixie?! Y'all praisin' her like she's some prize pig at the county fair?"
"I've never seen her like that before." Shinedown admitted quietly. "My sister's usually so much of a bragging little-"
"She's yer SISTER?!" Sheriff Applejack gasped, eyes bugging out, hooves flying to her mouth. "Laaaand's sakes, if that don't beat all! But, unfortunately, this ain't no social call." She mumbled, seeing Simon Cow cheerily emerge from the theatre. "…Mr. Cow?"
Simon tilted his head up from the gold chain watch he had and blinked in surprise. "Yes?" He asked in a vaguely Londonesque accent.
"I've got same bad news sir. There's been a murder just down the street at the hotel. A pony got thrown off her balcony in her private suite. It was…" She hesitated briefly. "It was yer girl, mister. Ms. Mare."
Cow blinked stupidly for a few moments. "…you're JOKING."
"I don't joke 'bout murder, sir. Now if you could step this way, need ya to help identify the body, her parents can't fly in 'til tomorrow…" Sheriff Applejack insisted, Trixie emerging from the theatre as Shinedown quickly GLOMPED her on the spot.
"I-am-so-PROUD of you, Beatrix! You slayed 'em! You knocked 'em dead, you were AMAZING!"
"Your name's "Beatrix"?" Haley asked, raising an eyebrow as Trixie blushed and looked down and to the side.
"Trixie is my nickname…Beatrix is too…old and stuffy." She insisted. "Now if you'll excuse me…" She brushed herself off, heading for the newsstand. "I'm not going to rest until I see Mr. Cow's review of my performance in the papers! I'll wait all night if I have to."
As Haley left to go get some sleep, Shinedown's brow furrowed. "Fluttershy…I think I'd like to get a look at that crime scene. See the whole story. Something about this is setting off those little bells in my head…"
…
…
…
… "Two champagne glasses…ordered room service around 8:15…" Applejack sniffed the air along with Shinedown and Fluttershy. Ms. Mare's private suite was empty, save for a plate of chocolate bananas, one of which had a bite taken out of it, a fine white carpeting job beneath their hooves…
But most noticeable of all was the scent. "Men's cologne. Oooh, and it's nice, too." Fluttershy admitted. "You're not wearing it, are you?" She asked Shinedown.
"Nah, don't use the stuff. But I'm thinking that Ms. Mare was expecting company. Look, the shower…" He pointed into the bathroom. "There's still condensation from a big, hot shower and there's water drops all over the room…her hair was still wet…" He headed inside, looking around. "Look. The make-up kit, it's just opened, and she's only got one false eyelash on." He added as he held up the eyelash piece from the make-up kit up. Sure enough, one was missing. ONLY one, and a little post-it on the door that said "Call S as soon as possible".
"So this company she was expectin'…reckon he showed up early…and cut her life short." Sheriff Applejack admitted, tilting her head to the side. "Let's check the balcony."
"About that…" Fluttershy called out from the balcony, looking down at the ground before turning to the side at the plants stationed on each side. "Look. There's a bunch of leaves torn and a limb ripped off…I think she was pushed, fell off, tried to grab this to save herself…ohhh, poor thing." Fluttershy whispered, covering her face with her hooves as Shinedown and Applejack walked onto the balcony as well.
"Look." Sheriff Applejack said, noticing something by the plant's base, picking it up. "A ribbon. Really girly ribbon…" She gazed down at the pinkish ribbon, amazed at how small it was, but noticing a name etched into it. "Kay's."
"Every kiss begins with Kay!"Fluttershy sang out, giggling a bit as Shinedown and Applejack looked at her. "They're jewelers. They sell diamonds."
"…wait. Diamonds…what if…" Shinedown looked down at the footprint mark below them…a very unusual type of mark because it was more of a deep indentation in the balcony than anything, as if…
"He was squatting." Applejack realized.
"Looks like our killer was getting on one knee, trying to propose…and he was a HEAVY type too." Shinedown added with a thoughtful nod. "He was proposing. The champagne, the hotel suite, the ring box, it all fits! She must have turned him down, he snapped and killed her!"
Then there came a loud, angry, shrieking yell and Applejack's head shot up, Shinedown turning visibly pale as Fluttershy held a hoof over her mouth. "Oh my. What is it?"
"Do y'all hear that? That's the sound of ultimate pain and suffering. I first made it when Granny insisted I get my degree in law." Applejack sighed.
"My SISTER'S making it now!" Shinedown gasped out, rushing for the door. "Oh no. Oh no, she must have seen the morning edition…and it must be very unflattering…"
"HOW-COULD-THEY-DO-THIS-TO-MEEEE?!" Trixie bawled out, jets of water barreling out of her eyes, pooling around her as if she was a sprinkler. The newsie she'd bought the paper from had put out an umbrella over his papers as passersby all stopped and stared, Spike nervously reading the review over as Shinedown raced towards him. "Why?!? WHYYYYYYYYY?!?"
"Lemme see it, Spike." Shinedown demanded.
"Ya really don't wanna see it." Spike said quickly. "He's a critic, who cares what he thinks? He's probably a frustrated actor anyway!"
"Gimme."
"Er…uh…" Spike began backing away as Shinedown advanced, dark blue eyes a-glitter. "You don't want it."
"I DO want it, Spike."
"No ya don't!"
"I DO."
"Ya DON'T!"
"I DO!"
"Ya DON'T!"
"I DON'T."
"Ya do!"
"I don't!"
"Ya DO!"
"I DON'T!"
"Yes you DO, now HERE!" Spike finally snapped, slamming the paper into Shinedown's hooves as Fluttershy and Applejack approached the sunset-furred brony from behind. "Wait-AWWW!" Spike slapped his face with his hands, groaning as Shinedown smirked. "You tricked me!"
"The Bugs Bunny Defense. Works every time." Shinedown chuckled as he looked over the review. "Last night's premiere was first rate material, albeit with second-rate arrangements…" He hesitated, going down to the part that talked about his sister. "Beatrix Mane's rendition of the Mother Mary ballad by the White Rabbit was completely…"
His voice sank. "…forgettable." He muttered, his voice becoming quiet and repressed. "…a corny, cliché-filled performance that had me begging for less, and…and Ms. Mane owes me three and a half minutes of…of my life back…"
He held the review in his hands for a long time.
"…now, Shinedown, just relax…don't freak out…" Spike insisted gently, a visible twitch popping into Shinedown's eye as a vein poked up on his forehead. "C'mon, you don't wanna freak out."
"I want him…to apologize."
"…apologize?"
"…apologize."
…
…
…
…"Alright, I apologize."
"You DO?"
"I apologize unreservedly!"
"This is April O'Neil Reporting. Simon Cow is being hung from a third-story window of an abandoned factory by a furious brony."
…
…
…
… "I do not BELIEVE you." Haley growled angrily as Shinedown sat on a bench in a cell, absentmindedly humming away on a harmonica. "This would have been so much less an scandal if you hadn't kept pushing all those ladders away from the window!"
Shinedown nonchalantly blew a single, mocking note on the harmonica before putting it down next to his hind on the bench. "Yeah, well, I am NOT sorry, boss. If it weren't for the fact he didn't KILL nobody, I woulda pulled a Rosco on him and made 'em deader than a fried oyster."
"Fireman Lucky fractured his tibia!"
"Ohhhh what I woulda given to fracture SIMON'S tibia." Shinedown hissed as Mr. Cow was escorted into the jail's "A" wing, Nightwing chuckling to himself as Fluttershy walked alongside the critic.
"Luckily for you, Mr. Cow has graciously…" Nightwing began to laugh more loudly. "Graciously…I can't BELIEVE you launched that ladder onto that old woman! HA-HA-HA-HA!"
"Poor thing'll probably never walk again. You're lucky he's so hated that nobody was sympathetic."
Mr. Cow stuttered slightly, looking offended as he put away his gold chain and watch, "harrumphing" angrily as he snorted. "Well, I-I-of-of all the, I mean that is JUST!"
"We're reeaaaaally sorry, Mr. Cow. Shinedown won't ever do it again." Fluttershy insisted as she eagerly nodded her head, Shinedown glaring balefully at the cow.
"Yeah. I won't ever hang you out a window ever again." He said.
"I MEANT do bodily harm to him." Fluttershy added as she shook her head.
"I can't promise that." Shinedown hissed, pressing his face up against the bars of the cell and baring his teeth, suddenly noticing a familiar scent. No, no, it couldn't be…
Could it?
"Anyhow, I've got a column to finish and get to. Truth be told, I was ending it with Ms. Mare anyhow, my boss's daughter is younger, prettier, and less clingy." Mr. Cow said calmly. "And she didn't do the laugh thing."
"What laugh thing?"
"…what did you have for breakfast?" Mr. Cow sighed.
"What?"
"What? Did You HAVE? For BREAKFAST?"
"…well, a muffin-"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Mr. Cow giggled in an overly high woman's voice. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-that was Maddy."
"…oh." Shinedown mumbled as the critic left the jail cell, dumping a cigarette lighter and unopened pack of cigarettes in the garbage nearby. Frowning a bit, Shinedown coughed slightly before hacking up a wallet, everyone giving him a disgusted look, Fluttershy actually turning green in the face. "What?" He asked, raising an invisible eyebrow.
"Do you seriously keep EVERYTHING in your stomach?" Haley found herself asking
"Well, yeah, except for the pocket watch I keep in my ass that'll one day give me dysentery." Shinedown wisecracked, Haley chuckling at the reference. "Now look…HERE." He said, handing out a 300 dollar check to Haley through the bars. "If I do this, I'll get busted, so I want you to investigate Mr. Cow FOR me. I smelled the exact same type of cologne that we smelled back at the crime scene on HIM when he entered the room!"
"No, no, that's no good." Haley insisted.
"I WANT you to take my case!" Shinedown insisted.
"Look, we didn't wanna tell you this, but because you're on probation now for what you just did, Mr. Petrovich said he's kinda…rescinding your last paycheck. So if we tried to cash that, it would bounce." Haley told him with a sad sigh.
"He what."
"He wrote you a bad check?" Fluttershy asked, eyes widening slightly.
"He WHAT?! How could he do that?"
"We might ask you the same question." Nightwing told him with a chuckle.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am not the monster here!"
"You dangled a bovine from a three-story apartment building window and over a kosher dog stand. That's like, adding insult to injury." Haley admitted.
"Look, there's no right and wrong here. It's all tangled up." Fluttershy insisted gently. "I mean, one hanging of a cow out a window, one bad review…it's like the chicken and the egg."
"No, no it's NOT, kid, there... there's no egg here!" Haley insisted. "There's no egg. This is all chicken!"
"I am dead CERTAIN that Mr. Cow is hiding something and if you won't help me find the truth, I'll get it myself!" Shinedown growled, yanking on the bars to his cell. "Look, that note on the shower, "S". He's got the same cologne as what Fluttershy and the Sheriff and I smelled, and he has motive! He said he was dating the boss's daughter, wasn't he? He couldn't let one of them find out about the other!"
"…it's possible. But it's also possible you're just being obsessive because he gave your sister a bad review." Haley told him, Shinedown "harrumphing" and kicking his bench, folding his arms across his chest and standing upright, back facing her. "Shinedown, c'mon."
"…"
"Look, Don't you see what this is, Shinedown? You never got along with your sister for years, you always felt ashamed ABOUT it, and now that you see an instance where she's really hurting, you're trying to make up for all the times you weren't there! You're so desperate to repair your relationship you'd frame a man for MURDER!"
"Oh, c'mon." Fluttershy insisted. "He's not gonna do that. You wouldn't do that, would you?" She asked as the sunset-bodied brony remained quiet. "Would you?"
"…"
"…would you?"
Chronicles of Crime: My Little…Sister
Part Two, The Second
Previously, on "Chronicles"…
Beatrix T. Mane, aka Trixie, the Boasting Braggart of a Pony, has come to New York to visit her brother, the investigator Shinedown, on "Bring Your Family To Work Day". Despite an initial fear of what she might have done, our protagonists were surprised to find her to be a truly talented and passionate singer during a fine performance of the ballad "Mother Mary" at the local opera. However, a famous critic, Simon Cow, trashes her performance in the newspaper, spurring Shinedown's wrath, a wrath further enflamed when he learns of Mr. Cow's recently-murdered girlfriend. Now certain that Simon is a cold-blooded killer, he is determined to see justice done…and may even, as his beloved Fluttershy fears, be willing to frame the man for MURDER!
The soft light of the sun on a warm afternoon filtered over the city of New York as Shinedown Mane went to work, making his way from rooftop to rooftop. His attire had been drastically altered: he was no longer bare-clothed, but now wore a large fedora and a cloak to go with it, leaping across New York to make his way to the suburbs. His target was a simple one: Simon Cow. And he was getting closer and closer to his destination: a place that had someone whom could get Mr. Cow out of the way for some time. Enough time to do his work.
Sliding down a fire escape and plopping down in a back alley, he slunk through darkness to the back entrance of one particular Adult Film video store, knocking on it. Shave-and-a-hair-cut…
"Two bits!" A blue-furred, yellow/golden eyed "Experimental American" announced, looking down at the Equine American on his doorstep, one light blue eyebrow raised as his paw pushed the door open a bit further. "How can I help ya, dude? What kind of stuff ya lookin' for? I was in the middle of looking over "Horny Potter", that's a classic seller for the "fantasy genre. Or maybe yer a mystery fan, huh?"
"The Shadow" kept silent, just looking at Frequency with big, dark blue eyes.
"Lemme guess, dude. You're after "The Woman with the Twisted Lips", right?...oh, wait. Are you going out Halloween trick-or-treating in that outfit? Then you might wanna go for "Halloween: The Night Everyone Came". That's usually pop-"
"Want I want is services in a more…firearm-related matter." The disguised mare said, his voice vaguely echoing, almost as if his every syllable was bouncing off the walls of a cavern, dark and deep. "I need you to completely destroy a man's car with him in it…but not actually kill him. I want this cow stranded in traffic. COMPLETELY stranded in traffic, and I don't care how you do it."
Frequency grinned and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small and sleek bamboo pipe. "Then you want THIS, dude! It's totally balls off-the-walls for this kinda job."
"That little peashooter?"
"Not just ANY peas! Watch, it's like, HYSTERICAL, man." Frequency chuckled as the blue-furred mammalian being reached over to his window box, taking out some peas from within and holding up a small box of pins, sticking the pin into the pea, then inserting said pea into one end of the bamboo pipe. He held the pipe to his mouth and blew.
THWISH! It stuck deep into a window box on the other end of the alley with all the force of a throwing dagger, "The Shadow" chuckling as he turned to nod at Frequency. "That'll ruin his tires, eh? Alright, how much for the job?"
"Depends on who it is, man. Big public names, they cost a lot of mucho dinero, y'know?" Frequency said as he despoited the peashooter on a little table nearby, "The Shadow" noticing an elfin girl fiddling around with a rifle in the back of the store. "Rayne, cutie, be careful with that! The sight's a little off."
"I gotta get it ready for tonight, I'm playing Solid Snake for Halloween, remember? AND doing the Decato job?"
"Right, right." Frequency shrugged. "Kids. Whadda gonna do?"
"Yes. Kids."
…
…
…
…it wasn't long before Shinedown T. Mane was racing across the roofs of New York, making his way back towards his target: the home of one Mr. Simon Cow, a pristine, pompous, in-your-face two-floor home with as many bathrooms as there were crystal chandeliers. Shinedown was TEMPTED to do something to the crystal chandeliers…tempted to just take, say, a sledgehammer to the man's three other cars in his enormous garge, but he had a bit more integrity than that. No, what he wanted was something else.
"Now to get started." He chuckled as he broke his hoof through the back window. "One should NEVER just leave the key in the lock. It's so easy to just break in, reach in and turn the key, Mr. Cow. But you'll know better from now on, won't you? And now BETTER than to call my sister's performance "banal" and "forgettable"!" He spoke to himself, chuckling darkly as his cloaked form slid inside the house, going to the man's central closet to get his much-needed supplies.
Or rather, that had been his desire, until he'd found a black and gold-scaled dragon sitting in the hallway, sipping some wine and smiling softly at him with deep, dark black eyes.
"NIGHTWING!" Shinedown screeched out, his hat flying off his head by a few inches before he regained his composure, taking up a defensive, all-fours position as he growled. "What're you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same. I'M investigating a lead: the bathroom attendant at the opera your sister performed that fine musical number at told me that Mr. Cow had told HIM he'd been feeling "under the weather" for the past week due to an embarrassing bout of diarrhea, yet as you and I saw that night, he supposedly never left his chair."
"And he kept checking that stupid watch on his wrist, yeah, I saw it every other five minutes I glanced in his direction." "The Shadow" mumbled.
"If he'd been suffering from diarrhea, why did he never leave his chair? Because we definitely would have smelled it if he hadn't gone at least ONCE to the bathroom." Nightwing remarked. "If he was lying to the attendant, it makes him look quite fishy, so I am checking the house for diarrhea medicine, or rather, I WAS." He raised an imaginary eyebrow, looking Shinedown over. "I wasn't quite finished with my search when I noticed you were on your way here. Were I anyone else, you'd be in quite a lot of trouble."
"Are you going to…report me for breaking and entering?" Shinedown murmured.
"No. I'm going to help you in making this man's house look like something Macalay Mackulkin booby-trapped." The draconic experiment 561 chuckled, holding up a roll of animal pheromones and Mr. Cow's cologne.
And so, it began.
"What do you think? ONE mouse trap, or two?" Nightwing chuckled as he held them up in the air over a box of Kleenex, Shinedown carefully putting invisible tape over the toilet bowl, but specifically keeping it UNDER the lid and the seat.
"Dunno, but once you're finished with that, don't forget to add the ink to his shampoo."
"I was thinking of NAIR, actually."
"I should work with you more often." Shinedown chuckled as he made his way over to the laundry, opening it up and making his way towards the back door with a small, tiny whistle he had coughed up from his considerably bigger-on-the-inside-than-the-outside stomach. He blew it and instantly a swarm of snakes came slithering out from the bushes and the woods around the house, Shinedown leading them into the laundry room, closing it from both sides. "I'll be back tomorrow, alright?" He told them.
"Word." One of them said, thumping it's chest and giving the "peace" sign with its forked tongue before hiding in Mr. Cow's undergarment section, a particularly large python sneaking into the towel rack.
But the crown jewel of it all…the enormous, circular metal manhole-esque cover in the backyard. "This is the cesspool. Cow pies of a dozen weeks, further decomposed by millions of bacteria." Nightwing informed Shinedown as they looked down into the mire and muck, a foul stench that was potent enough to peel bark off trees wafting up from above. The two slowly looked up from the hole to gaze at each other before slowly breaking into mad, sinister laughter, their cries echoing into the darkening skies above as night began to slowly fall.
One party umbrella stuck in the ground near a cooler filled with beer…one little table by a lawn chair…a large rainbow-colored towel covering the hole which was also covered by a layer of saran wrap…and, to add the final touch, a copy of "The Bridges of Madison County" carefully placed by a signed copy of "Your Book SUCKS" by Roger Ebert.
"I could kiss you." Shinedown said as Nightwing stood away from the booby-trapped hole, clapping imaginary dust from his hands. "That "Bridges of Madison County" is pure genius."
"No, no. The "lemonade" was pure genius." Nightwing chuckled. "But are you SURE that firecracker looks enough like a candle?"
"I'm sure, believe me." Shinedown laughed.
…
…
…
… "C'mon, c'mon, hurry up." Simon muttered as he shook his car wheel angrily, not seeing the slinking form that was moving through the heavy traffic on all fours, pea-shooter in paw. The cow critic banged his head against the wheel, moaning before his truck's in-car GPS/communication system activated, somebody calling him up.
"Ooh, whatcha saaaay…ooh, girl you know I meant weeeeell…"
Simon quickly flicked a switch on his specialized wheel, a far thicker and easier to grip type car for four-leggers like himself, other anthro animals and Equine Americans such as that lunatic that had hung him out of a window. "Yes?" He asked, facing somebody who was sitting at a table in City Hall, the City Council room empty save for two individuals. One was somebody fairly-normal looking, a dark-haired man in a white lab coat and horn-rimmed goggles, the other was most definitely weirder in appearance, a golden-furred gerbil/hamster esque rodent of alien origin, a Muridean scientist.
"Simon, you missed our last City Council meeting."
"…I'm sorry, Dave. I was at McDonalds."
"…you didn't call." Dave sniffled.
"We made cupcakes…we played games…trust-building exercises…" The Muridean remarked.
"Did you do the "Trust Fall" th-no, you CAN'T do that, can you George?" Simon chuckled as the winged Muridean frowned slightly.
"I TRIED, y'know! I can't help it if Domitian weighs eighteen bamillion pounds!"
"You really should hurry back. We've got to discuss the Environmental Care Act that's going to be introduced to-" Dave began to say before Simon beamed.
"At last! The traffic's breaking up!" He exclaimed, trying to move his car forward…only to halt in place, blinking stupidly as people began honking their horns at him from behind. "What in the?!"
He looked outside his car down at this tires…pea-nails stuck in every single tire…not seeing Frequency sticking something into the passenger seat next to him.
"Now for my favorite part." Frequency said to himself as he slunk off, holding up a tiny remote, pressing a small red button as a microchip in the tomato he'd placed in the seat suddenly began to grow.
…
…
…
… "The city is in CHAOS." The announcer on the television insisted, a secretary running past him with a giant tomato chasing after her, bouncing up and down and snarling as Frequency sheepishly blushed, his adopted daughter giving him an angry glare as they hid behind boarded-up windows. "Can nothing stop this tomato onslaught? They've attacked Main Street…Boardwalk…China Town!"
"Nice goin', dad." Rayne mumbled. "Now we'll have to erase everyone's memories………AGAIN."
"Even the mere MENTION of the word has now become sufficient to induce PANIC." A reporter on the street said as a certain Mr. Walken stepped close to a crowd of people waiting at a bus stop.
"Ah-hem."
"Oh my GOD, it's Cowbell Walken!" One lady exclaimed, her hands flying to her mouth as the bull of an actor brushed his hair back.
"Are you listening?" He whispered quietly.
"Yes!" The crowd all insisted.
"Are you listening?"
"YES!"
"Are you listening?"
"YES!"
"…Toh-may-to."
AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!
All of the crowd ran screaming as Cowbell Walken ran a comb through his hair and whistled absentmindedly, stepping onto the bus that pulled up.
"Thanks for the hot cocoa, Fluttershy." Trixie mumbled as she sipped her drink at PSCI Headquarters, the blue-furred pony nodding appreciatively at the yellow-furred unicorn, Fluttershy kindly smiling as she added a marshmallow to Trixie's little chocolately brew. "I really appreciate it."
"I brought it from home. It's my special blend." Fluttershy told Trixie as the two sat in the break room at PSCI, Trixie chewing on her lip for a little while before she resumed sipping her hot cocoa. "Good thing we still have power."
THWOOMP. All the lights suddenly turned off as Petrovich's swearing filled the halls, the sound of a tomato screeching followed by loud squishing noises echoing through the air. "…he really should watch his blood pressure. All this stress is just making him so angry, I'm really sorry." Haley said apologetically as she stuck her head inside the room, hearing a very vivid bout of Russian swearing that involved potted plants and New Orleans hotels of prostitution that made her gulp. "Er, I'll be right back." She said. "I gotta stop him before he starts throwing things."
"I can't believe you put up with him." Trixie said, rolling her eyes. "How can you stand him? He seems like a horrible mentor."
"You don't know the half of it. Didja see those guys in the medical wing?" Shinedown chuckled as he entered the room to get a salt lick on a stick bar from the cupboard, holding a flashlight in the corner of his mouth yet speaking perfectly fine.
"…yeaaaah." Trixie said nervously. "They all had huge bruises and battered bodies. I've never seen more depressed, broken-down people in all my life!"
"They were LAST YEAR'S interns." Shinedown told her as Trixie almost spat out her hot cocoa, Shinedown patting her on the back. "Don't worry, I'm not letting him throw a stapler at your head like he did to the last Equine visitor we had here. Poor ol Doctor Whooves is gonna need a doctor of his OWN after THAT incident…" The Equine American chuckled as he left the room.
"You know, Trixie…your brother's really devoted to you." Fluttershy said appreciatively. "He always talks about you. Even when we first met."
"How DID you two meet?" Trixie asked, raising an eyebrow. "Did your toilet get backed up and you had him clean it?"
"Nah, Angel introduced me to him." Fluttershy laughed as she sipped her cocoa. "Shinedown's partner Sunset caught him stealing carrots out of their garden and he chased my lil' bunny all the way to my house…and right through my window!" She added with a chuckle.
"Yeah…yeah, he's sure something, alright." Trixie sighed. "…but I gotta admit something, and I'd be reaaaal glad if ya didn't tell anyone, okay? The "Great and Powerful Trixie" has a secret she's been keeping for a long time, and it needs to be told to someone or Trixie's going to go crazy!" The pale-blue-furred Unicorn groaned, holding a hoof to her head and rubbing her forehead as she put her hot cocoa down.
"What is it?" Fluttershy asked as she sipped her own hot chocolate, head tilting slightly to the side as Trixie put down her drink on the nearby table, on top of a copy of "The Shadow Magazine", one of Shinedown's old-time detective mystery publications which Fluttershy had become engrossed in.
Though, truth be told, this particular tale of "The Valley of Living Terror" was a bit more "grossing" than "Engrossing".
"I'll just be really glad when I can go back home and not have to worry about him again. He drives me up the wall!" Trixie sighed.
"Oh, my." Fluttershy said, widening her eyes ever-so-slightly.
"Oh, it's not like Big Brother's watching me. He's not here, I doubt even Mr. Perfect can be here and finished with a Jumbo Sized Salt Lick on A Stick in five minu-"
"Mr. What?" Shinedown asked quietly, his flank returned to its normal sunset-colored scheme as he looked at Trixie with a hurt expression on his features, Trixie gasping in surprise.
"Ah! Uh…Brother! What a surprise! I…er…"
"I think I'd better grab these hot beverages and run…" Fluttershy decided, quickly taking the hot cocoa and skedaddling out of the lounge as Shinedown cantered into the room, looking intently into Trixie's eyes.
"Why didn't you TELL me how you felt?" He wanted to know.
"I didn't wanna hurt your feelings." She mumbled back, putting her hooves down low along with her bowed head.
"You don't think THIS doesn't hurt my feelings? Hearing you grumbling behind my back how you can't wait to see me leave? And calling me "Mr. Perfect" so sarcastically? How long have you been thinking like this?" He asked her.
"…since I was four and you were 10."
"…I think I'd better sit down for this." Shinedown decided as he plopped down on the couch next to his sister, putting his hooves together thoughtfully as Fluttershy and the others listened and watched from outside as best they could, despite the closed door and shuttered blinds. "All this happened when we were in ELEMENTARY school?"
"Remember when I'd take money from your room to buy milkshakes?"Trixie asked as she covered her face with her hooves. "And since Dad wasn't home, YOU'D lecture me right in front of all my friends?"
"Yeah, I remember." He sighed and put a hoof on his own face, shaking his head back and forth. "It must have embarrassed you so-"
"NO! I was ANGRY because my friends always, always took YOUR side! They liked YOU more than me!" Trixie yelled at Shinedown, waving her hooves in the air.
"I wasn't TRYING to woo your friends, sis…" Shinedown nervously began to say.
"It WASN'T just my friends!" Trixie interrupted in an exasperated tone, getting up from the couch and walking away from him, shaking her head back and forth. "Everypony who ever met you has thought you walked on water!"
Shinedown nervously bit his lip, a guilty expression flickering over his face as Trixie went on. "You were the one with that special voice, the expert rough-rider, the criminalist! What did I have? I've always been in your shadow! And…and…"
She began to shake then, her voice becoming pained and tearful. "And now…how am I supposed to…to get people to think well of me…if all they can think of when they think of "Trixie"…is of a bragging little pony? A review like Mr. Cow gave me, it…it'll ruin any reputation I'm trying to build. How can I start over if I've got a black stain like that on my record? How are people supposed to know the best of me if people only know the worst thanks to what HE'S done, and…and what I found MYSELF doing just…just so I could prove I was good enough…"
Shinedown blinked slowly as his sister finally couldn't take it anymore, racing out of the room, sobbing all the while as she barreled past the others, everyone looking in on the pain-faced brony. "…I didn't know." He mumbled. "…I…"
"I guess the whole "she'll get over it" thing isn't happening, huh?" Haley Long asked quietly, the American Dragon sighing as she rubbed the back of her neck. "People don't usually forget. They don't always bounce back."
"Yeah, I know whatcha mean. I'm still adjusting to things my classmates said to me when I was three, so I can see why she's upset." Fluttershy admitted. "She wants people to know her by what she really is so good at, but with Mr. Cow saying what she's good at is something so BAD, nobody'll remember her for it, recognize her for it, and that's what she wants…the recognition, like the kind you got." She told Shinedown, looking nervously to the side before glancing bac at him.
"…I need to see Mr. Cow." Shinedown insisted to himself. "…I need to get him to make this right. To retract that review. And I need…to apologize."
"Maybe you don't." Nightwing stated as he entered the room, the black-haired Shin holding onto an enormous sack that was slung over his shoulder. "I SUSPECTED the fine, upstanding member of the City Council for some time. And then we got a new development."
"What?"
"The attendant to the opera your lil' sis performed at was just found dead. Somebody strangled him with a gold chain watch."
"How do you know?"
"Because he told me." Shin said.
"Hey." The dead man inside the partially-unzipped bag said, raising an arm and waving it back and forth a bit.
…
…
…
… "Fluttershy, you can come out from the closet now." Haley insisted gently as she rapped her knuckles on the door.
"NO WAY!" Fluttershy screeched from inside the closet, everyone else sitting in the lounge as Shin held a hand in the air, a faint glow around it, his yellow eyes looking feral and wild as the dead man mumbled, rubbing his bruised neck. It was like Nightmare Night all over again!
"Mr. Ryan. Listen to me." Nightwing whispered quietly. "My necromantically-gifted friend can only help you if you help YOURSELF. Can you remember who killed you?"
"No, get-get that away, no! NOOO!" The man screamed, grabbing at his throat and howling as Fluttershy dove underneath some jackets in the closet, screaming along with him. "Not the chain! Get it away from me!"
"Only a chain watch has that width." Mr. Petrovich insisted as he held up a chain watch of his own. "The bruise patterns are perfect match, eh?"
"…listen, Shinedown." Nightwing told the Equine American, a small smirk coming to his face. "You are going to want to hug me. But don't. Do NOT hug me. At all."
"Why?"
"Mr. Simon Cow also has a chain watch, remember? We saw him checking it over and over. He doesn't USE a regular watch."
"I LOVE YOU!" Shinedown exclaimed, glomping the dark dragon on the spot as Shin let out a gasp and fell back, the dead man collapsing back into the bag as the half-demon lost his grip on what little life remained within the man.
"GAH! I said no hugging!"
"Look at the attendant's watch." Shin mumbled as he rubbed his aching head, not noticing his nails were rather pointy lately. "It's a glow in the dark model. This is just a guess, but…I feel that Cow hired the attendant to take his place during the show. Probably made up some lie about needing to go away to use the bathroom…"
"He did lie, he probably used his "terrible diarrhea" as an excuse." Nightwing said, pushing Shinedown off of him and onto the ground. "So he snuck off and killed his girlfriend, then was back in time for the curtain call. The attendant wouldn't have been any the wiser…WASN'T any the wiser until I came around to talk to him about the suspicious circumstances!"
"This is a big deal." Mr. Petrovich insisted to them all, eyes shifting left to right. "Mr. Cow is member of City Council. Big man. We must be careful. Must CATCH him."
"But all we've got is one guy that we can't get a Life-Up mushroom to for a week, IF the paperwork is rushed." Ms. Kendall added, shaking her red-haired head. "Mr. Cow didn't leave any real evidence linking him to the first crime, and he didn't leave any to THIS crime either. He's got no fingerprints, right? And did you find any DNA on the guy's body?"
"No. No epithelials of any kind." Shin sighed. "AND his new girlfriend, the daughter of the New York Times owner, Ms. Olive…she INSISTS she was with him all night."
"Well, that makes her an accessory. That's good, women like her LIKE accessories." Haley chuckled.
"What do we have? Nothing more than a theory and a motive, but without any hard evidence to back them up…without any witnesses to what he did…by the time our attendant's revived, he won't remember who killed him." Kendall interjected coldly. "We're working with next to nothing."
"There's got to be some way to prove this critic is a murdering, sister's heart-breaking pile of BULLCRAP!" Shinedown snarled angrily, kicking the wall so hard that his hoof went clear through it.
"…feel any better?" Haley asked, rolling her eyes.
"A bit."
"Feel a lot of pain?"
"A LOT."
"…there IS a way. And I know just how to do it!" Nightwing realized, slamming his fist into his palm as he grinned darkly. "Trixie…you ARE aware that the New York Operatic Theater is doing a community performance of the play "Repo" in a week? The auditions are still going on even now…"
"Yeah, so?" Trixie asked.
"My dear…you'd best prepare for the act of your LIFE."
…
…
…
…the setting sun cast final rays over the New York Operatic Theater, shimmering slices of fading sun that flickered over the tall buildings of the Big Apple, as people began to flow into the theater doors. "Repo: The Genetic Opera" was quite a well-known little play, and even if it was a community theater production with "local boys", there was one very good draw…Cowbell Walken would be playing the Repo Man.
"I'm gonna be acting alongside COWBELL WALKEN!" Trixie said happily, spinning around in her room as Shinedown hid himself atop the roof far above the opera, adjusting the large fedora and cloak he wore. Now he was more than a mare…he was…The Shadow. And he intended to see things to their righteous conclusion. Haley, Ms. Kendall and Nightwing were standing by, ready to begin right after the performance was finished.
So much depended on Trixie…so much…
"I can't screw this up." Trixie insisted to herself as she looked herself over in the mirror as it hung from the faint yellow walls, taking in deep, calming breaths. She had to have courage. She had to.
Shinedown twirled the shepherd's crook he usually kept in his stomach, slamming the butt against the roof, eyes narrowing as he saw Simon Cow entering the theater, interestingly with the very members of the City Council he'd been speaking to in his car. They stepped over a shot-to-pieces tomato, trying not to step in its juices as Trixie smirked to herself, putting on her outfit for the performance.
"No chance for peace!" Shinedown growled to himself. "I'll end this grudge! I'll stain the streets! He'll run with blood…at the Opera toniiiight!"
Nightwing emerged from the shadows on the rooftop to stand by Shinedown as tiny dots of burning dark energy rose around him, chuckling coldly as he glanced in Shinedown's direction. "Yes, all debts are paid...at the opera tonight."
...
...
...
...And what an opera it WAS. It became clear that Trixie was clearly much more talented than anyone had previously thought, and Haley, making sure her video camera caught ALL of Mr. Cow's reactions to the play, was grinning more and more broadly with each moment, because every time after Trixie sang, he went positively wild with applause. And of course, Cowbell Walken made an all-too-convincing Nathan the Repo Man.
"I'm really impressed with you! I've never seen a guy play an insane lunatic so well." George, the City Council's treasurer insisted as the Muridean shook Mr. Walken's hand after the play, eagerly grinning.
"Well, go with what you know, that's my motto." Walken chuckled as Olive, Simon Cow's girlfriend, chatted it up with Simon, who had just returned from a fairly long bathroom break. This time he evidently DID seem to have caught a bout of diarrhea.
But all of that went out the window as Haley strolled into the main hall, loudly announcing her presence and taking Cow's shoulder. "Sir!" She yelled loudly, everyone turning to see Trixie standing there in a white robe outfit, looking nervous and upset. "This performer says you tried to force your way into her room and that you attacked her."
"WHAT?!" He exclaimed, eyes wide in surprise as he looked at Trixie, who rubbed the back of her neck, whimpering a bit, eyes low and muzzle held away. "I don't know what you're talking about!"
"Her story checks out." Ms. Kendall added. "She's got scratch marks on her arms and legs, AND she has one of your business cards." She said, holding aloft one such business card as the crowd around all looked from him to Trixie.
"I don't know what she's talking about!" Mr. Cow enthusiastically said, shaking his head back and forth. "I swear, I've NEVER seen this girl before tonight! NEVER!"
"…Mr. Cow…this is very, VERY serious." Haley said quietly, folding her arms, her voice becoming deadly and solemn. "Now look at her carefully." She told him, pointing at Trixie. "Are you positive you've never seen her before? At ALL?"
"Sir, I give you my WORD, I'd swear on a stack of Bibles, I have NEVER seen this Equine at all!" Simon insisted as his girlfriend Olive enthusiastically nodded.
"My honey's no killer, officer. I'd know."
"In that case…I think we can cut the act." Trixie said dramatically. "You're all witnesses!"
"What's going on here?!" Simon snarled angrily as Haley grabbed his shoulder tightly.
"I'm better known by my STAGE name, sir…TRIXIE. I was in that performance you saw a week ago, where I sang The White Rabbit's ballad "Mother Mary"…only you didn't actually see it, cuz you were off pushing your girlfriend off a balcony!" Trixie yelled at him, pointing an accusing hoof.
Simon and Olive's eyes went wide as they immediately bolted out of the room, Haley being knocked away as Olive grabbed ahold of Trixie by her collar, heading for the back entrance as the pony screamed and struggled to get free, Haley holding up a walkie-talkie as the two crooks bolted. "The hamsters have left the wheel! Repeat: the hamsters have left the wheel!"
"They aren't getting away." Nightwing whispered through the walkie-talkie.
…
…
…
… "And I say KILL her, Simon." Olive hissed, brushing her tiny lock of black hair atop her head back as they hid inside their home out in the Bronx, the windows still boarded up, smattered remains of tomatoes all over their front porch. Simon had stuck Trixie inside of a bedroom on the top floor of their two-floor home, and the two ne'er-do-wells were in the kitchen, Olive's hand nervously twitching as she thought about the number of knives she had in the nearby drawer. "She's too dangerous to be allowed to live! We've got to sneak out and get them all one by one!"
"We can't, Olive. They'll track us down, and the council won't protect us. We've been publically exposed. No, I've cleaned out the safety deposit boxes and the checking account, we're going to Rio." Simon decided. "We'll just leave that little pony here. If she starves to death before she's found, that's just too bad."
"I HATE her. I could KILL her." Olive snarled.
"Honey, careful, you're letting your husband's temper show through you again." Simon chuckled as he patted her back, moving towards the back door. "I'll go get the car running."
As he left the kitchen, Olive folded her arms across her chest, chewing on her lip, her voice becoming faintly hysterical and paranoid. "Let her LIVE. I WON'T. A knife through the heart is what she deserves…and that's JUST what she's going to get." She mumbled, opening up the kitchen drawer, unaware of the form that was slinking up the side of the house and into the bedroom above.
She finally found what she was looking for, chuckling darkly as she held it aloft in the kitchen light. "Yessss…yes, this carving knife will dooo! Tied up as she is right now, she can't do anything to STOP me from killing her!" Olive mumbled crazily, going up the stairs and heading for the bedroom. "Are you in here, Beatrix Mane?....I'm coming to kill you, Beatrix Mane! I hate you! I'm GOING TO-GAAAUH!"
She promptly fell flat on her face, Nightwing's tail tripping her as she was knocked unconscious, Trixie now fully free as Nightwing blew fake dust off his clawed hands.
"What took you so long?" Trixie asked, frowning a bit.
"…you're welcome." He snapped back.
Meanwhile, Simon was actually going through his trunk, looking for a shotgun. He figured that he'd go to Rio…alone. No use in having somebody slow him down.
You see, sadly, Mr. Cow didn't actually have diarrhea. His disturbing choice to eat at McDonalds and have eat the new "Angus Bacon Delux" had given him Mad Cow Disease. So it was no surprise that, when he heard the voice, he thought it was little pixies.
"Where are you little friends?" He chuckled, one pupil beginning to grow steadily larger.
"I am not your friend." The voice growled out. "Surely in your career of crime you've heard tale of…THE SHADOW."
What was left of Simon Cow's logic strengthened his will and made his eyes narrow. "Yes, yes, I've heard of you!"
"I intend to turn you over to the police."
"You can TRY!" Simon snarled, whipping towards the tree where the voice came from with his shotgun, firing off a large round as the tree collapsed on the leafy ground below, shoving tomato remains to the side.
No body. He blinked stupidly, hearing foul and dark chuckling fill the air, chuckling that dissolved into eerie laughter.
"HRAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAAAAH! No use, Simon Cow." The Shadow laughed, his dark form slinking through the inkiness that was falling around the house. "This is a voice you CAN'T silence so easily!
"I HIT you, I KNOW I did!" Simon snarled, firing off another couple of rounds as the Shadow's voice laughed and laughed. "Speak up! I'll find you eventually!"
"I am heeere…in front of you…" The Shadow whispered, Simon could FEEL his breath, and the cow let out a yell as he emptied the shotgun in front of him over and over and over and over…
For a long time there was nothing but silence, and Simon panted heavily, the shotgun falling from his hooved hands. "I got him! I KNOW I got him."
"HRAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAAAAH! No, Simon Cow." The Shadow said.
THWUMP. Shinedown Mane, aka "The Shadow" landed atop the car behind Simon as the cow wheeled around too late, the shepherd's crook catching him and lifting him up as "The Shadow" glared coldly into his eyes. "Only my VOICE was there. Ventriloquism. My finest talent."
Simon gasped and heaved, struggling to get down as The Shadow shook him from the shepherd's crook like he was a fish on the end of a line. "I knew you were a lying murderer. That you hadn't been to see Trixie's performance. Nobody could trust you as far as they could throw you. Although…"
He broke into a big, dark grin. "I CAN THROW YOU PRETTY FAR!"
With that, he launched Simon through the air, the cow letting out a long, pained "mooooo" as he sailed through the air, slamming back first into a tree, breaking it in half as he fell to the ground, groaning in pain as Nightwing left the house with Trixie, Olive slung over his shoulder.
"These two shall pay for taking Ms. Mare's life by forfeiting their own! I take it the side of Sirloin wasn't too much trouble?" Nightwing asked.
"No, he's all done. WELL-DONE." The Shadow, aka Shinedown, wisecracked, taking the hat off and turning to Trixie. "Are you alright, sis?"
"Yeah, I…I'm alright." She admitted, nervously pawing at the ground with a hoof. "…listen, I…"
"I know."
"…you know…"
"I know that too." He insisted. "What you felt about me for so long WON'T go away so easily, but…we can work on it, right?" He asked, nuzzling her as he rubbed his head against her.
"Well…yeah." She admitted, looking up at him and grinning. "Wow. No rising bile… no clenched teeth…this is too weird." She remarked. "Say, when do you think I can come visit you again?"
"Well, Christmas isn't too far off, just right around the corner, really." Shinedown chuckled as he and his sister trotted off to head back to town, the two striding in rhythm…
…to the beat of "home, sweet home".
