The Pinkie Parable

by TheNarrator

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3338

This story is about choice and freedom, possibly, but actually it might be about something else. Either way, you'll find yourself wondering why you bothered reading it in the first place.

This story was inspired by The Stanley Parable.
This story was not inspired by The Stanley Parable.
This story is essentially a text version of the Half-Life 2 mod except that it's ponified, it goes through a little differently, and has three additional endings. Or maybe it doesn't. You're welcome to go count them.
This story is about choice and freedom, possibly, but actually it might be about something else. Either way, you'll find yourself wondering why you bothered reading it in the first place.

The story tags are accurate and you'll just have to trust me on that. I think we've developed a good enough relationship for trust to be a non-issue. I mean you've already read ten sentences from me so far, or was that eleven? I don't know, you'll probably have to go back and check. Anyway, it's always a good idea to trust the narrator and follow his/her instructions. If you didn't then there wouldn't be much point in them trying to tell a story, now would there?

Published 2013-02-08 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-08 04:10:02 UTC

???

This wasn’t the correct way to the employee’s lounge and Pinkie knew that perfectly well. She just wanted to prove that nopony could tell her where to go. Her point was proven, but she really did need to get back on track to the employee’s lounge.

She made a left at the first open door towards the employee’s lounge.

[TURN LEFT AT OPEN DOOR]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/3/the-pinkie-parable/-
[CONTINUE FORWARD]
CONTINUE READING

Pinkie was so bad at following directions, it’s amazing that she wasn’t fired from her job already. It’s almost as if she couldn’t even read. Do you even understand the directions I’m trying to convey to you?

She felt so bad about missing out on the amazing story the narrator had planned out for her, that she decided she would punish herself. A set of elevator doors opened in front of her.

She stepped inside and pressed the button to go up.

[GO DOWN]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/3/the-pinkie-parable/-
[GO UP]
CONTINUE READING

Pinkie stepped out of the elevator and continued down another short hall. She stepped inside a room where Princess Celestia was waiting beside an electric chair. She wore a black hood and was ready to perform her royal duties. Pinkie submissively strapped herself into the chair and awaited her fate. The disobedient pink pony clenched her eyes and braced herself for a terrible pain...

...but then nothing happened. Pinkie slowly opened her eyes to the execution room. Celestia was gone and her restraints were undone.

She stepped out the door and continued down the hallway.

The Narrator had planned out Pinkie’s death before this story even began. She was doomed from the start. It was only through the intervention of a mutual third party that she was able to temporarily escape this fate. But this third party couldn’t protect her forever.

All choices had been exhausted and the only thing Pinkie would find at the end of the hall was her own death. But there is something that you can do for her! There is still one choice you can make.

Pinkie approached the razor sharp spinning blades that were recently installed.

She can be saved! All you have to do is STOP READING. Scroll back up! Hit the back button! Close the browser! Do anything to make this last choice count!

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Pinkie threw herself into the blades.

THE END 4

???

*Sigh*

Look, Pinkie. I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, but you're not going to find a story down there. I had a story all planned out for you up above, and you chose not to take it. You could have just continued reading. I mean, it would have taken less effort than following that link, right?

It’s still not too late though, I can still salvage together an ending to this story but only if you start cooperating with me. Right, well. Pinkie continued down the hall until she came across a couple of multi-colored doors.

Now listen. This is very important. Pinkie went through the red door.

[RED DOOR]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/6/the-pinkie-parable/-
[BLUE DOOR]
CONTINUE READING

*Ahem*

Perhaps you misunderstood me. I said:

Pinkie went through the red door.

[RED DOOR]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/6/the-pinkie-parable/-
[BLUE DOOR]
CONTINUE READING

I’m giving you one last chance. Go. Through. The. RED. Door.

[RED DOOR]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/6/the-pinkie-parable/-
[GREEN DOOR]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/9/the-pinkie-parable/-
[BLUE DOOR]
CONTINUE READING

Fine. You want to know what’s so special about this part of the story? Pinkie continued down the hall until she rea

See? I didn’t even finish that part of the story. You continued down this path, ignored everything I’ve said and for what? A whole lot of nothing. That’s what. Does it feel good? Exercising your free will? Being the one in control of the story, and not me? I hope it does, because now you’ve missed out on a wonderful tale of hardship and triumphs I had all laid out for you. Maybe you should just go read another story and ruin that one too. That seems to be all you’re good at. But the least you could do is let me pick one out for you...

Let’s see...
Hmm...
Ah, here we are.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/36943/the-whinny-of-cthulhu

I know I can’t get you to listen to me without an incentive, so here it is. There’s probably an ending on that story if you look hard enough. Go on, now.

???

They say that the journey beats the destination. I always rather enjoyed that. To think that there’s always more fun to be had along the way. Though that destination always still exists and cannot be forgotten. At the end of a story, there’s always some sort of narration that sums it all up nicely with maybe a moral or two squeezed in. Well, who’s got time for that? I might not have helped you through the journey, but I’m content with just being the destination.

For now.

THE END 6

???

Pinkie was naturally very sociable, so the thought of absolute isolation terrified her. She continued down the hall towards the employee’s lounge. The lights were off. She stepped in and closed the door behind her. The lights blinded her for a moment as she flicked them on.

Empty. Just like everywhere else. Pinkie panicked for a moment. Her heart jumped at the thought of everypony suddenly disappearing. Still, being an inquisitive mind, she needed an explanation for this. She decided to go see her boss in his office to try and get to the bottom of things. She stepped out of the employee’s lounge and continued down the hall.

When she reached a staircase, she went up to her boss’ office.

[DOWNSTAIRS]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/8/the-pinkie-parable/-
[UPSTAIRS]
CONTINUE READING

Pinkie stepped inside her boss’ office, and to no surprise, it was empty as well. She was really starting to become worried. She didn’t like being alone all that much, or at all, really. She started pacing and in her frenzy, she discovered a keypad on the wall beside some filing cabinets. It had a microphone to go along with some sort of voice recognition system. The password to unlock it could have been anything and only Pinkie’s boss knew what it was. It was the second step in the boss’ recipe for homemade vegetable pot pie. “2. Line the bowl with pig sweat and preheat the oven to 150 degrees.” But of course, there’s no way she could have known that. Alternatively, the boss had a second password that served a different function. It was the name of his great, great uncle, Hermophrates.

Pinkie said the former.

[SAY HERMOPHROTES]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/10/the-pinkie-parable/-
[SAY THE OTHER THING]
CONTINUE READING

And yet by saying random phrases that popped into Pinkie’s head and with a sheer stroke of luck, she managed to unlock the keypad. A wall slid open, revealing a dark and mysterious tunnel out of her boss’ office.

Pinkie, cold and terrified, hesitantly creeped down the barely lit tunnel. The tunnel winded and turned in all sorts of directions. Pinkie had absolutely no idea where she was or what awaited her at the end of this path. She saw a light at the end of this tunnel. She staggered deeper and deeper until she found...

...rows and rows of monitors. Each with a number above it, and not a random number, but the numbers of her fellow employees. Even her own number, 865, was up there. The questions were building up higher and higher until a wall came down behind her, answering every one of them in a brief moment.

An enormous room was revealed to her, stretching almost beyond sight above. In the center was a computer terminal with all sorts of knobs and buttons coating its exterior. These were not simple volume or lighting controls. Each button or knob was labelled with an emotion. Happy, sad, even hungry and sleepy. Other buttons were labelled with actions like “work" or "play”.

The gravity of the situation suddenly fell on Pinkie. Her boss had been controlling her life. She didn’t really enjoy her job. She was just the puppet in some sick game. Just as the height of her anger peaked, a beam shot from the ceiling above, giving a little bit of power to the terminal. She looked around and saw the staircase up to the source of the beam. She couldn’t let this machine exist for a moment longer.

She stormed up the stairs and flipped the switch, turning the dreaded machine off once and for all.

[TURN ON]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/7/the-pinkie-parable/-
[TURN OFF]
CONTINUE READING

Blackness.

Pinkie stumbled around in the dark, nearly falling from high above when a door opened. Radiating the room with much needed light.

Pinkie stepped outside and felt a cool rush of air brush against her cheek. She never did learn what had happened to her co-workers or her boss, but that didn’t matter. She was free now, and forever. Nopony would ever again tell her what to do, what to think, or what to feel. She was the lead role in her own story. She would return to Ponyville and continue working for the Cakes. She would live out her life the way she wanted...

...and Pinkie was happy.

THE END 1

???

Good, now there’s something I’d like to show you. But to do that, we have to start from the beginning...

This is a very sad story about the death of a pony named Pinkie Pie. She worked for a company that asked her to read letters on a screen every day and try to decipher some sort of deeper meaning behind them. It demanded very little of her, and she had very little to give.

Everyday, she relentlessly kept on reading the letters on her screen. Most of it made absolutely no sense. But on occasion she would get some sort of message. Though this message might be something erroneous like: “Barkskin would be cool.” Most of the time there is no deeper meaning. If you were expecting to find something of that sort here, then you chose the wrong path. The words on your screen right now have absolutely no philosophical implications and were not, in any way, meant to make you think too hard. Now please, stop reading.

THE END 5

???

Pinkie changed her mind. She was much too nervous to confront her boss. Imagine confronting him with the crazy notion that all of his employees had disappeared but her. He’d call her crazy. At this point, she’d call herself crazy. She stumbled down the stairs to investigate a little further before confronting her boss.

She wandered into one room. Then another, then another until all the rooms seemed to blend together. Was she really going crazy? Who was this voice she heard in her head, narrating everything she did? Was this story even about ponies? Was she walking around in circles? Who made that wonderful piece of artwork at the top of this page? Should you go click on the source and leave a really nice comment on it?

Pinkie ran around, screaming insanely. Punching her skull as if it might silence the voice. She collapsed onto the ground, tugging at her throat. Her vision turned red as the voice in her head grew less and less concerned with her well being. She silently let out her last breath.

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This is a story about a pony named Trickly Dew.

Trickly was on her way home from work one afternoon when she stumbled upon a pink mare running down the road, screaming to herself before she collapsed on the ground and died. The sight of which was worrying to her. Not because she was now in close proximity to a corpse, but that she would never know this mare’s story. She would never know what the mare was thinking in her final moments or what had led her to this point.

But Trickly had an important dinner to go to with some very influential business types. She stood still, staring at the body for only a moment. And then she ran.

THE END 3

???

What? Where did that door even come from? Did you make that door, Pinkie? Because I didn't.

Wait, where are you going? Pinkie! The story isn't over ye...

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"Where am I?" Pinkie asked herself. "It's so dark."

*Panting*

Whew! There you are, Pinkie. Don't go running off like that. I've still got to finish this story up, whether you like it or not.

Pinkie stumbled in the darkness and clumsily tripped over herself a few times. This place she was now stuck in, she had been there many times before, but the gate had never been closed behind her. She was now trapped in this plane for all eternity. She could have had an ally watching over her shoulder, but she ruined a perfectly good story. Karma dictated that this ally leave her be. He didn't have time, anyway. After all, there are always more stories to tell.

THE END 7

???

A huge, baptizing light suddenly embraced Pinkie. She slammed her eyes shut and covered her head. As soon as the ringing in her ears stopped, she found herself just outside the Cake's shop in Ponyville. She was never so excited before in her life. She ran inside the shop and saw all her friends sitting at a table. Pinkie lit up with excitement. But something was wrong. They were old and wrinkled. Their brittle bones slowly turned towards Pinkie.

"Pinkie? Is that you?" Twilight asked in a horrendously elderly voice. Pinkie could hardly breath. All her friends were like that. "Why don't you come and play bridge with us?" asked Twilight. Pinkie looked at her own hoof and saw it was trembling and wrinkly as well. She fell over and cried. I guess that's what happens when you spend all your time reading letters on a screen. Time just passes by like the wind.

THE END 9

???

Pinkie realized she had forgotten something back in her office. She went up the elevator and had vanilla cake later that night. She then went back on track towards the employee's lounge. She arrived there before leaving her desk. Are you confused yet, Pinkie? You see what happens when you don't listen to me? As soon as I stop keeping track of chronology, the story falls apart.

Pinkie approached the two doors once again and tried to go through the left one, only to have it close in her face for some reason. She had her chance. Now she had to go to the right path. Pinkie attempted to walk through the right door and it slammed in her face as well for some reason.

When we choose one path, we will miss out on the others. Not listening to your inner monologue will often result in having your options exhausted for you without your consultation. On the other end, not choosing any path at all will send you right back to where you started.

THE END 10

The Pinkie Parable

The Pinkie Parable

This is a story about a pony named Pinkie Pie.

Due to the recent recession in Equestria’s economy (You can thank Luna for that.), Pinkie found herself strapped for cash in recent months. So she decided it was time to find a better paying job. The Cakes were nice but were ultimately paying her less than she deserved.

She got a job at a company in an office on the fifteenth floor of a very large building all the way in Manehatten. It was quite the commute everyday, but Pinkie was glad to take it. There were so many employees at the office that management simply couldn’t find the time to refer to any of them by name. So each employee was given a number. Pinkie’s number was 865.

She spent everyday inside of room number 865 reading letters that appeared on a screen. Not the sort of letters that your great aunt Susan might send you, but the alphabetic sort. Periodically, the screen would beep and a letter would appear before her.

Day after day, she kept track of each and every letter. She was expected to either write down or memorize each of these letters until the end of her work day when she was to then try and discern some sort of pattern or meaning in them. On average, she sifted through about two thousand letters in a day. Most ponies would find this task to be extremely daunting and soul-draining, but not Pinkie, not employee number 865. She was happy. She loved reading. She loved following instructions-

“Hey, this is actually really boring!” Pinkie screamed. But after a moment’s more thought, she realized that she really did love this job. She had no idea what came over her.

Anyway, where was I? Right.

Then one day something very peculiar happened...

Not a single letter was sent to her screen. This had never happened before. Pinkie took some time to recall her day thus far. It didn’t occur to her until now, but she actually hadn’t seen a single fellow employee on her way to her desk. Normally she’d give a friendly greeting to everypony on her way in. This morning, however, she either ignored them, or they weren’t there at all. She simply couldn't remember. She waited a few more moments before deciding to step outside of her office and have a look around.

Peering into the windows of her fellow employee’s offices, she finds not a soul in sight. She uneagerly continued down the hall towards the employee lounge, where she liked to spend a lot of time conversing with her co-workers.

Coming across a set of two doors, she took the one on her left.

[RIGHT DOOR]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/2/the-pinkie-parable/-
[LEFT DOOR]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/5/the-pinkie-parable/-

[TURN AROUND]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/82252/11/the-pinkie-parable/-

???

What do you think you’re doing, Pinkie? You were so close to finishing my story, and you’re going to ruin it now? After all this? Well you’re certainly less responsible than I made you out to be, Pinkie. Honestly, I’m even sure what I should do now. You brought the story up to it’s climax and then dropped it off a cliff.

What, did you think you could somehow harness the power of the emotion machine for yourself? In case you hadn’t realized it by now, I am in control of this story. I know you aren’t used to that, but sometimes you just have to let go of control so that those more qualified can put it to better use.

The DNA scanner on the machine whizzed and beeped ferociously when Pinkie attempted to turn the machine on. Her boss had a fail-safe at the ready just in case anypony were to discover this terrible machine. Sirens went off all around the room and every door was bolted shut. Pinkie had just triggered the fail-safe. Exactly thirteen half ton nuclear warheads were buried underneath the office and were now set to explode.

Pinkie scrambled around the room, looking for a way out. She pressed every button she could find. She checked the vents, the monitors and just about everywhere else but could not find a way out. Pinkie had only about a minute left. She ran around and around until finally, she stopped. She sat down and accepted her fate. There was no last choice she could make to get out of here. But it comforted her to think that there was, so she told herself just that.

It was her own fault, she realized. She was too selfish in trying to turn the machine on. She took one last breath, the deepest one she had ever taken and made one last choice.

[DIE]
CONTINUE READING

[DIE]
CONTINUE READING

The bombs went off and Pinkie was consumed by hellish flames, killing her instantly.

THE END 2