The Tales of Data Jack

by Iridescence T Wind

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 3378

We all know from the start that the skeleton in the broken Vlarp chamber was Data jack, but the question is who was he and how did he end up there

We all know from the start that the skeleton in the broken Vlarp chamber was Data jack, but the question is who was he and how did he end up there. Some of our unicorns recovered an Audio Journal from his possessions and are working on translating it into modern equestria for future review and expanded knowledge of the "Old Equestrians"( AKA: The Veron Kingdom) most infamous pegasi. Data Jack. Seems Princess luna also found a copy.

Published 2013-02-07 20:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-14 18:28:01 UTC

Log 1: Dear Journal?

“If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.”

― David Sedaris

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Once more Princess Luna had went out to the flea market in canterlot. She honestly had nothing better to do during the day, since her only duty,night court, was at night and no ponies slept during the day that would deem her intervention. Way too peacefull, she would decide. Even with the recent threat of an invasion that celestia had been preparing for life went on mostly like normal, the only difference being that there was now a bright pink dome around canterlot giving it the outward apearance of a painted giant gumball rather then that of the equestrian nations biggest and grandest city.

She wasn't used to pony society enough to mingle to have made very many friends inside of canterlot, neither did she want to. Nobles were still the same, fake smiles and royal attitudes that drove her insane. Luna wished to herself that they would loosen up and become friends with her at own desire, rather then for political gain. She sighed aloud shrugging deeper into her deep grey cloak made of a simpler cloth. She found that one could only play so many games or play so many pranks on her own sister before getting bored. Celestia had recomended a hobby but it wasnt until Celestia had given her an Old Equestrian artifact, this one a holographic map, that she actually devolped an hobby as an collector.

Scanning through various pony wares her now trained eye scanned through the various items the market had, Apraising each determining what they were from past experiance, making sure that they were real and purchasing the few she didn't recongise. One of such items was a thick metal book that was slightly rusted from age but well preserved, an audio log. Many Audio logs that luna had come across had held various things, such as songs from old equestrian folklore or journals which had held a ponies voiced thoughts as they went from day to day. Most ponies would find such a thing useless since the language of Old Equestrian had died out even before Discords rule. Luckily for her however, luna had aquired a translator a few weeks back.

With an Idle thought she paid the shopkeeper a few bits and took both the book and a small headpiece that had cracked light blue lenses and an small ear piece connected to it. Luna proceed to clear out the market of the few unknowns it had left for her and teleport back into her bedroom located next to her sisters. Unlike Celestia, who kept her room sparse and neat with hardly any decoration. Luna's room was a mess, a recently rediscovered device called a TV had taken up a wall, a few game systems stacked up on one corner with a discarded bean bag chair had shown any who walked in that she was a moderate gamer, while her bed was shoved into the opposite corner of the room to make space for the large pile of artifacts that was spread out and took over the rest of the room. On her shelfs there were a few books on how certain parts worked and spells of repair that luna had briefly studied before going into her hobby full heartedly and the various gizmos and gadgets she had aquired had been organized, though any maid would disagree, by worth to the princess.

It had been a constant battle between the castle staff and Princess luna that had kept her room how it was, Celestia took a neutral stance on the afair. knowing that Luna needed something to do to break her almost continual boredom. A majority of Luna's friends were situated in Ponyville and Cloudsdale afterall, and besides from the odd seasonal event such as Nightmare Night or the lunar eclipse, Luna was never given enough free time to visit them, Since her nightcourt had prevented her from taking the two day train trip there and back. The amount of energy such a long distance teleport would require would also not be possiable since luna was still too small to traverse such a distance with magic alone.

When luna tossed down her bag she did it haphazardly, tired from the weight of her overburdened bags not noticing that a single Tome and headpiece from her back skidded out of the open flap and under her bed. Where it would remain for the rest of the day and night until luna had collasped on her bed and felt an unnatural bump from under the bed. Tiredly she pulled it out from under the bed and started the thing up. Maybe there was time for one log...Idly she attached the charger to a crystal and applied the translator to a slot on the metal book before activating it.

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///START UP INITATED...///

Starting powerup...
Minor corruption detected: repairing and patching...
Data file: Journal of Data Jack
File stability: 95%
Command prompt?

An screen popped up as was due and luna wrote in the first command, "Access log #1" and press enter. A series of digits popped up as it processed her command and a audio log started to play. the symbol of a cutiemark, a USB surrounded by a matrix of letters and numbers, with a red background apearing as it began its story in the voice of a deep male tone that spoke of wearyness to Luna's preceptive ears.

Dear Journal,

I am your new owner, my name is Data jack. My faithfull assisstant had reccomended that I keep a log for my various adventures. While I wont disclose anything that if in wrong hands would lead to other ponies being hurt. I do agree with her sentiment. How else would anyone else learn what I, the infamous Data Jack, theif of the Pandora code, and leader of a small ragtag band of rebels consisting of five members have done to ruin this blasted kingdom of false hopes and hiddened crime.

I am a red pegasus with a blue mane that has red highlights, my assisstant often considers my eyes "Blue as an ocean" despite oceans today being rather werid shade of grey from the pollution and oils in it from Veron goverment waste. My companion, whos middle name will only be stated here, is a black unicorn mare of purple hair and a similar yellow highlight who Is named Turner. My other companions are more diverse however, such as a rather chubby and underestimated Earth pony called Yorick. His coat is a dark grey and his eyes hold light to an uncanny wisdom that has saved several a flank daily. He also owns a bar, which is also our safehouse between explorations. Another member of our party isnt a pony at all, he is a half spider half pony shapeshifter known as a [Data Expunged]. His chiten is a deep green with red stripes along the side of his splincter. His eyes are ones that speak of ferocity, though his heart is that of a kindly old mare in my opinion. Also his name is one we had to come up with for him, we call him Rocket Impact. Due to an Incident that I will explain when we get to that point. Unlike most ponies he dosent eat food but rather he feeds off emotions in general, reducing the affects they have on other ponies and making himself stronger.

My last companion, and albiet not really knowing herself, is a pegasi mane stylist by the name of Calm Wind. She usually outfits us with disguises for the more subtle missons we sometimes do. where brute force or a lockpick can't handle. She does it for free on part of something we did for her a while back. Though I still pay her twice of what is owed despite her protests. I think it helps since her buisness is her life and it has been blown up once and bullet riddened Twice.

Now, only Turner Is my constant companion. She and I have met as foals in the same orphanage when our parents died at a relatively young age as three and became friends since. My parents had died of a Qoute, unqoute, "Military Accident" in the most unlikely of places. A beach. Far away from the front lines. Turner didn't know her parents due to being raised there since she was a few months old apparently. When we were growing up she was a lot more... Passive, I think thats the right word. Though she would go with stoic, she was training to join the "Inquistion" of all things. Though she lacked a brand throghout her entire life as a result of never trying anything else, never finding her own special talent as a result. At the age of seventeen, we were seperated from each other, her into the Inquistion training and me, well... i became a petty theif.

I wasn't exactly what you would say, "Law Abiding" since my parents death, often getting into trouble for stealing a cookie as a young foal. Though I found myself rather adept at the process of sneaking around and stealing after a few years of a impromtu stealth practice with the caregivers of our home. Ironicly it was my attitude and Turner's classic "Inquistion mode" as she called it, that made us get kicked out unadopted from the place. At that point, where Turner was being trained to her role, I was wandering the streets stealing trinkets from unguarded packs and eventually moving up to stealing valueables from the rich and wealthy, those who could afford to lose the money. I even got my Brand from stealing a prototype model of a new memory unit and selling it to my dealer at the time to become rather wealthy enough to afford the rest of my tools of trade. always i would put some aside though for an emergancy.

The day when me and Turner had run into each other couldn't of been not an emergancy. Oh, im out of time for tonight, ill make another of these log things Next time me and Turner get a chance to rest. See you next time journal.

your handsome stallion, Data Jack.

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Luna shut the book for the night, it was growing rather late. She'd continue to listen to the audiobook tommarrow. Her curiosity was slightly perked. Other audiobooks she had heard had mentioned Data Jack as something of a myth or menance. Some even claiming that they had foiled this "villian" at every turn. Right up to the disapearance of the Veron kingdom... With that luna fell asleep.

Author's Note

So Turner, Yorik, Jack, Rocket Impact, and Calm wind

Log 2: Meeting at Work

Winds of color shine high,
Turning forever more in Symphony,
You should see it now.
~Turner

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Luna flipped on the virtual journal again, it had been five days since she was able to have enough free time to listen to it again. Her night court was rather busy during the last few days and it had required all of her effort to clean up the swath of problems discord had caused in such a brief time. Her sister Tia wasn't helping with the pie traps she had left everywhere in response to discords antics. Luna had spent most the morning dismantling the automaticly refilling traps. Even longer resetting them back up in Tia's room. No doubt it was going to cause a huge mess in there once she stepped in. Satisfied, Luna turned the journal onto its second log and pressed play.

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All-righty this is your owner the incredibly handsome, Data Jack here. Sorry I haven’t used you in a while. Let me see here, Ah I know! I was about to tell you how I got my cute little assistant here Ms. Turner!

Who you calling cute jack!

Oops she overheard me. Forgot, Turner does not like to be called cute for some reason. Probably because I tease her about it a lot in public, never mind! Anyway as I was saying, before I can tell you about how I met the little lady, I hav-

Little?!

Oh I’m sorry, petite then! Eesh that mare gets offended easily currently; still love her dearly like a sister though. Wish it wasn’t that time of the month for her. I swear I saw her completely destroy a convoy of those empirical poster boys when they tried to flirt with her during her you-know-what. Anyway as I was saying, I have to tell you how precisely I got my specialty brand first in Jacking stuff.

When I was younger at an age that was barely considered legal, I had to go out on my own. Since I was a foal, I had wanted to be apprenticed to an awesome locksmith by the name of G.D. Big Key. Never got what the G.D. stood for, though I would bet it stood for Gosh Darn Big Key, he was a huge stallion of a Pegasus who dwarfed most of the best fit body builders. His profession was making and cracking locks of all kinds. Electronic, Manual, old fashioned, even dead bolt no problem. Needless to say, I was deeply intrigued. I thought I could provide something for him, Key was a lonely stallion on the part of being unable to control his voice, always coming out as a deafening boom and rumble more appropriate for working on the big airships engines back in the day when they made a similarly loud noise! As a result no mare was interested in such a loud talker and others of Veron’s inhabitants would take pains to avoid him unless necessary. Most ponies talked to him with earplugs in their ears as to avoid going deaf.

Luckily he accepted me after I stole back a watch of his holding a picture of his long dead mother from a swindler by the name of storm claw, a coal mutt who had lost one of his fingers in a fight against a wood wolf. I had trained five years in Key’s tutelage, and then they say he had died of old age, which is an utter lie. With nowhere else to go I had went from locksmith apprentice to a burglar and a thief. Gradually I worked my way up the popularity scale in the underworld to the point where I got my first major job. It was also this job that I got my brand.

It was a dark cloudy night of the new moon; I was in the Old-Hooven museum’s ventilation ducts ready to knockout the guard guarding my target. The Helmet and orb of the seer and third ruler, the infamous Centaro, which he had also nicknamed the “Dragons Crown”. It was currently micro-storaged into a USB drive guarded by rumored have it, an Inquistor and several dozen guards.Now I found myself going through the ventilation shafts until I arrived at the room, by passing all of the defenses entirely. No one ever seems to rig the ventilation shafts.After I had worked the grate quietly free and out of the way, I took out a nifty rope gadget that slowly rappelled me down behind the unsuspecting guard upside-down and struck him down, when he fell over my view had an unobstructed view of another pony, who was hidden in the shadows of the room staring directly at me with her mouth open, “Jack?!” came a familiar voice I had thought never to hear again.

“Turner?”

“No way how’d you get in? where had you been! Sister Peacekeeper has been worried sick!”

“Vent, bored, and Worried about me? I’m not the one dressed to scare a poor citizen to think an inquisition was going on. “

“Well…I am a newly made inquisitor… did you know that this job actually sucks?”

“Oh you don’t say?”

"Ya, well when I signed up for the inquistion I wasn't suspecting that we would have to torture so many innocent civilians and be impromptu secretarys for the higher ups. This is one of the few missons I ever get to go on."

"Huh, really now, you just noticed that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Be a thief a few years, you can see how the goverment is really bucked up. They capture children and raise them away from their family as elite guards, test on said parents into genetic warmachines, torture innocents, kill anybody who objects or gets in their way. Surprised you didn't notice sooner that we have a really messed up tyrants for a rulers."

"Huh? Since when did the government kidnap foals and test on humans?"

Casually I looked at her, rolled my eyes while disarming the various traps around the USB that was my target, "Since all those ponies go missing and mysteriously we keep getting identical guards and biological warmachines rather then magical versions mysteriously apearing out of nowhere. Nice to know your still deaf, blind, and stuipd."

"I am not stuipd, deaf, or blind!" Turner shouted back, "I just didn't know that the government did such things, assuming that our agreement never to lie to each other still holds from our childhood this changes my reasoning and perspective majorly. Why are you here for this USB drive anyway? It isnt holding anything besides the dragons crown, which is cursed since its' owner died. What do you plan to do with it?"

"Give it to my employer, use the funds to screw the government over, why? want to be on my payroll?" I waggled my eyebrows suggestively.

"Ew. No," was her reply, I face-hoofed.

"I meant as my assistant! Think about it, you have all the contacts In the empire itself at your disposal and the means to aquire more anyway! Together we could start a team of rebels in this Solaris awful country we call Veron."

"Huh, you, a leader with a plan. Somehow I already know that would turn out wonderful Jack."

Okay, I admit, I haven't had the best ideas in the long time me and Turner have known each other. It wasn't my best idea to accidently burn down an bakery trying to make our own donuts or food a aquiraium to free the fishes trapped within when several of them were predator fish. But this plan of mine I had began thinking of and revising since my mentor, 'died of old age' when an officer came by and shot him in the face for disobeying orders and giving me to him for 'reprograming'. It took a few minutes to actually convince Turner of my plans. No journal, I won't spoil to you what they are, due to the case that somepony might take my journal before It is completed. Lets just say they are impressive, Alright?

By the time we were done Turner had become my co-founder of the 'Veron battlefront', our name is still unoffical and subject to change, and i had turned in my target for a reward of seven-hundred-thousand Vernonian gold slags. Rather hefty sum that could put me in retirement instantly. Or fund a small army.

Thats the story of how Turner came into my party, as well as my brand which had apeared sometime as I was stealing that funny looking USB. My brand seems to be in jacking stuff from others funnily enough. Not something I would show off in public, Luckily it looks informative enough to be mistaken for a cutiemark in computing.

Ten minutes? It took you three days of constant bugging before I finally relented. Also you fell on that guard to knock him out, if he had been a unicorn you would of died on his horn!

Shut it Turner, sweetie. If you want to tell it your way, start your own journal. Anyway, got some plans on reducing this fortress guard count by half in a single blow and the other through a second at the same time. Maybe next time i'll tell you how we met Calm Wind, though I'll wait until I find her again. Still kinda foggy on the bit I fell asleep on.

Your Handsomely Rich thief, Data Jack.