We're all alright

by datdamnface

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Sad
Length: 5116

The voices, NEVER STOP

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-30 00:12:43 UTC

At least I have me, myself and each other

Docter Feel Good looked down upon the small insane asylum with a grim expression, his brows furrowed as he gazed upon it's soul occupant.

"Docter? Has there been any change in....behavior?" Asked the nurse behind him, he shook his head with a small hiss. He took out a small tape recorder and started talking.

"Day 0, Patient has been delivered from Ponyville General Hospital. I...I honestly don't know what to make of her...she's a complete raving lunatic. From what i've heard, she has....killed* ponies and turned them into.....cupcakes.*

sigh

In all my years of medical and physiological practice I can swear by Celestia I've never seen anything like her."

He clicked the stop button and continued to stare at the patient, currently she was rocking gently from side to side singing gently.

Cross my heart and hope to fly~

STICK A DASH CAKE IN MY EYE!

She started laughing manically as she stated the last line. Feel Good involuntarily shuddered from the mare's shrill screams,  tears made their way down her face. He decided now as a good time to add a side note.

"Side Note: Patient was charged by the high court of her majesty Princess Celestia on 18 charges of Homicide and cannibalism. Sweet Celestia have mercy on us all.

The mare continue to laugh and kick spastically in her straight-jacket, her insane happy demeanor was offset by the tears streaking down her face intermingling with mascara she had on during the time of her arrest and incarceration.

"Nurse, please sedate the patient." He said without turning around, he couldn't turn around even if he wanted to. Nurse PainkIller looked at him as if he was insane, her blood-red eyes reflected the unspoken question. He turned to her finally, his eyes betraying his deep malcontent. He just shook his head as Painkiller left to go grab 'protection'.

Feel Good continued to stare at the patient. After a few minutes she stopped kicking and stared back at him through the tinted glass, her flat pink hair and cross-eyes betraying her utter raving lunacy.

Finally after a couple minutes Painkiller hesitantly opened the thick titanium doors locking the soft padded room and walked in, flanked by two massive white guards. The patient just stared at them with her twisted eyes and offsetting smile. He could see the guard's hesitation to approach the killer reflected in their eyes.

He turned away from the viewing booth and made his way to the small desk opposite. Taking out the recorder again he spoke.

"To understand what she did, we must first look at her background, see what made this...this thing in the first place." He started shifting the paper's around again, each one either a domestic disturbance or restraint against the Pink Mare, some dated back to when she still lived on the farm, others were recent.

He settled down into his chair and levitated a coffee mug and took a sip of the black liquid. He sighed again as he started.

"Patient seems to have had had a rather violent background, seems that her dad was a registered sex offender..who the hell let him have kids? Okay, continuing onwards....her mother was a registered drug addict...each parent seems to have at least several misdemeanor regarding either unlawful conduct or violation of parole...damn what a dysfunctional family. "

He stopped yet again and sighed deeply, the clock signaling it was 9:30. "This is gonna be a long night." He said to no one in particular as he pored over the massive pile of paperwork.

666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

[giggle] Heya kumquat! How's it hanging?

Oh Celestia it's you again! Please anypony!?! HELP!

No can do sergeant! It's just you and me up here!

W-w-why are you doing this to me?!?

Silly! I am you remember? This was all you!

Oh yea.....

Hey wanna see something neat?

.....what?

Wanna go pay a visit to your mind?

Oh Sweet Celestia no!

C'mon it'll be fun!

No! NO NO NO NO NO!

IMAGE SHIFT

She could smell the alcohol on his breath as he lumbered into the house, his member fully erect as it wobbled from side to side, she had been playing with her sister's when he had come shouting into their living room. Currently is was just them in the house, their mother was nowhere to be found as usual.

"C'MERE KIDS! I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU!" He screams lunging at her, she yelled but her cries fell on deaf ears as her sister's shrieked equally as loud, both of them scrambling down the basement stairs where jiggling and finally clicking noises  could be heard.

She sobs quietly as he guffaws. "Looks like it's just you and me kiddo. He says, this makes her angry, she bites his ear and he roars back in pain temporary letting go of her. She sprints to the kitchen hoping to find something, anything to help her. She knew her time was running out, she could hear him screaming expletives as he charged through the narrow arch. She starts crying as the desperation and sheer helplessness kicks in. She feels the air getting knocked out of her as he kicks her across the room.

She starts spitting up blood as he chuckles. "Now now, you know I like em' docile Pinkie. She starts screaming as he grabs her and smacks her head into the floor, her rear end stuck straight into the air. He snorts on the back of her head as he injects himself.

She screams, the pain is unbearable, it was like a knife repeatedly getting stabbed into her again and again and again. After a little while it stopped hurting, all she could hear and feel was the grunting.

Finally she heard him give a whinny as he finished, spurting her insides with disgusting cream. He snorts and just walks away, leaving her there. She starts crying as it makes it's way out.

Oh you remember that don't you? Nice, I was wondering where that went.

[sniff] T-t-t-that was horrible, you...you're a mean pony.

Oh please, blame it on yourself for being used like that.

N-no! It wasn't my [sniff] fault!

Oh please, you and I both know you could have stopped him.

==============================================================================================

Feel didn't know how much time had passed, but soon he heard grunting and slight moaning as the patient twisted in her sleep. "Daddy, no....no please stop." She muttered over and over again as she tossed and turned on the cold padded floor. He walked over to the tinted window and looked down. Tears started streaming down her face as she continued. "Mommy....daddy [sniff] daddy..." she dropped off into murmuring, her face held a furrowed brow as she continued tossing and turning.

Feel walked back to his desk and took out his recorder for a final message. "Sweet Celestia have mercy on her soul." He said utterly devoid of any emotion as he made his way out of the office.

(A/N: What? Did you really expect anything different from me?)

What makes you tick?

"Day 1: Subject seems to have quieted down, it seems like she's reflecting almost." Feel Good subconsciously clicked the recorder off as he watched her. She seemed to have quieted down, a fierce yet distant look in her eyes and her jaw set in a grimace.

===========================================================================================

"P-P-P-Pinkie?" Blinky Pie, one of the youngest sisters unlocked the basement stairs after their father had left undoubtedly to get more beer or whatever he did. The pale liquid continued to ooze as she sat there shivering. It wasn't the first time that had happened, in fact he did that to her every other saturday, funny how something so horrible came like clockwork. Pinkie felt nothing, nothing at all, utter shock filled her body as she sat there convulsing.

After half an hour of silence punctured occasionally by a pained grunt from Pinkie, she finally managed to get herself off the floor. "I'm fine Blinky, I'm fine." She barely whispered, she forced herself to walk up the stairs in an attempt to get to the shower.

Each subconscious signal from her brain to her muscles sent a fresh wave of pain through her hindquarters.

Just keep walking Pinkie

Just keep walking Pinkie

Don't think about it Pinkie

He stole it from you Pinkie.

She smacked her head against the wall to get rid of the thought process as it started ticking ominously.

Step by step Pinkie.

Step by step

Keep moving

Do it for your sisters.

She thought about suicide on a daily basis, the only company she ever had were her sisters or sister. Inky was catatonic after a particularly bad beating from their father, he himself drank because he couldn't face the pain of seeing his beaten and bruised kids. It was a twisted sense of humor really, he caused the misery yet he didn't have the balls to face the music.

The children's mother was either sucking dick for money or high off her flank, either way she was almost never at home.

Daddy would drink all night and find himself in a gutter.

Mommy would have sex with multiple stallions just for some bits and a hit.

Such an empty existence such as this would yield some sort of sympathy or anger or any sort of emotion wouldn't it?

Well that had all come and gone.

Turn the hot water on Pinkie.

Wash your mane Pinkie

Wash your privates Pinkie.

THINK ABOUT WHAT HE DID TO YOU PINKIE.

Hollow, empty, maybe a tinge of sadness anytime she went to visit her nearly brain dead sister in the basement but other than that? Nothing.

School was out of the question, they could barely afford their house and farm as it was, their mother actually did most of her prostitution to pay for the lease.

Mommy and Daddy sitting in a tree, B-U-C-K-I-N-G.

First comes drugs, then comes marriage.

She often found herself alone, Inky would usually stay at the library all day, it was public so the books didn't cost a thing. She was a good girl, a good little filly in this sick twisted girl.

Nopony's gonna help you Pinkie, you know that.

Nopony came to hold you when Mommy and Daddy screamed.

Nopony came to stop Daddy when he started raping mommy.

Nopony stopped them when mommy came home with strange stallions who would grunt and smack her and beat her.

Nopony cares about you Pinkie.

Nopony cares about you Pinkie.

Nopony cares.

She sometimes reminisced about when mommy and daddy didn't fight. She only remembered bits and fragments about it. A toy train she would play with, her father chuckling as he blew a raspberry. Her mother's light laughter as she made a nice home cooked meal. This was before Inky and Blinky.

The hot water had begun to run cold as she sat there, her skin and fur beginning pucker like prunes.

At first she had felt angry at her dad, after all, how could he just leave his little filly and wife all alone day after day?

Have you ever hated somepony so much that whenever you saw them you felt your blood run cold? All you ever wanted to do was just jump on their back and tear their mane out?

Pinkie had harbored those feelings up until she had seen the bills one late night. She saw all those expenses from behind closed doors, the tired sigh of her dad as he tried to overcome the insurmountable.

Now it was just hollow.

Her mother was a lost cause, disgust filled her every single time Diana Pie walked through the door carrying all the swagger of a broken wheel barrel. She actually pitied her mother, at least she had the common decency to not arrive during daylight hours.

As far as she was concerned they weren't parents, parents loved and cared for thier children. These ponies....these ponies were monsters.

They aren't related to you Pinkie.

Nopony loves you Pinkie.

KILL THEM PINKIE.

That thought snapped her out of her daydream. Finally noticing the now ice cold water, she quickly shut off the warm and cold valves and toweled off, making her way to her bedroom she closed the door and sat on her bed in deep concentration.

Nopony cares about you or your family Pinkie. It would be so simple to kill him and just run away with Blinky.

B-B-But what about Inky? I mean she's a pony too!

So? We're a pony right? Yet has anypony done anything to help us? Nope, not a single Celestia damned thing.

That still doesn't mean we can just up and go! I mean who's gonna feed us? Who's gonna take care of us? What if we get lost or killed?

We'll die if we stay here.

It's wrong though! Just killing him? I mean he's a living breathing pony! I saw all those bills and audit notices! Daddy's going through a rough time!

HE RAPED YOU AND TOOK AWAY YOUR CHIDHOOD!!! HE BASICALLY KILLED INKY! BLINKY IS TOO SCARED TO BE AROUND HIM OR ANYPONY OTHER THAN YOU!!!

The argument got hotter and hotter, she knew that what she was saying to herself was...right...in a twisted sense it was right. What was here for her? Nothing but pain and heartache and a death.

Think about it Pinkie, nopony could stop us. It's not like a cop is gonna jump out of nowhere.

That thought stopped her. She had always believed in the law, that there was some sort of karma in the universe, that for every bad thing there was a good thing.

She felt waves of inexplicable sadness wash over her as she sat there in her bed.

I never wanted this. Why? Why couldn't daddy be nicer? Why is he always so mean? Why does he hurt me?

She rocked back and forth gently, the sadness and colt anger mixing together.

Nopony would save her from her living hell.

There is no justice Pinkie.

Finally, a sort of heavy heat settled in her bowels. Filling her with inexplicable joy.

"Here I come daddy." She hissed, a tinkling laughter sort of sound. It felt odd really, she should have felt remorse or guilt or something. Well she did feel something and it was searing anger, an anger so hot and evil and  bright.

It was *insane***

.

=================================================================================================

Feel Good had walked around the different hospice beds, inspecting different patients. The whole day passed relatively quickly, he had a nice chat with a former OCD pony, a cup of tea with an elderly dimensia patient, and a nice walk through the park with an old patient.

The sunlight cast it' warm orange glow through the pale venetian blinds as he continued to stare at the mare. She seemed so at peace, it was calming to watch her. Currently she was humming a little tune, nothing with notes and sounding vaguely steampunk.

"Patient seems to have calmed down of own accord. Seems almost calm, it's...intriguing. Usually at this stage of quiet reflection most psychopaths or schizophrenics would completely and utterly break down. It seems like she's at peace with her.....acts. A truly fascinating individual indeed.

He continued to watch her sway gently to the non-existant music. He watched her, she seemed so beautiful in the fading sunlight, the orange reflecting on her straight pink.

"So beautiful yet.....so trapped, like a Canary in a Coal Mine; Never hearing heard until silenced. "

He put the recorder down and walked out of the office with a heavy heart.

What makes her tick?

time to face the music

Pinkie had thought this out for a very long time. A VERY long time, after all, it wasn't exactly normal to kill another pony. "Oh, it's not normal!" She said to nopony in particular, again she found herself on her bed, the bedroom door locked so the monster of a father couldn't walk in.

And guess what day it was ladies and gents? SATURDAY!

"Pinkie open this Luna damned door right now!" Shouted her father again, a fresh series of bangs accompanied his raging voice.

She closed her eyes and flattened her ears in hopes of wishing him away. That was not the case.

As soon as she did that the door burst open and he stood there, bloodlust in his eyes and a raging red boner. There was actually a bit of saliva dripping between his barren teeth. "On your bed now? That's kinky." He said with a maniacal smile.

She screamed as he jumped on her bed, as she screamed she made a move to throw him off her bed. It was a fatal error as the sheets prohibited movement allowing her father the time to jump on top of her.

On any other saturday he would enter slowly, apparently this wasn't your ordinary Saturday rape because he just thrust himself in and started pounding away.

"It hurts! Oh Celestia it hurts! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Her mind screamed frantically as he pounded away, it hurt even more than it usually did. Then again her father was hornier than he usually was. He kept pounding hard as a jackhammer, the bed and Pinkie both screeched in protest underneath.

Pain, horrible horrible pain. It was like a blinding white pain in her lower regions as he pounded. She began crying and flailing as he pounded harder. In response he started slapping her and choking her, he could cut off air flow in her esophagus by placing both hooves firmly on her, looking her directly in the eyes.

She eventually passed out from lack of air.

================================================================================================

And I keep a playroom inside my mind.

She dreamed.

Of a time before all this madness. A time when mommy wouldn't come home crying. Of a time daddy didn't look so sad. When Pinkie would draw and sing and play with everypony else.

Sanctuary in which I hide.

She awoke, and instantly felt it.

A small sensation slowly building.

A feeling of utter uselessness, like a broken condom or a dumpster baby. A slow smile started to spread on her face.

Blur the world into a dream, into a lie.

Usually one would expect a rape victim to be overwhelmed by the helplessness of said rape. Not this time though. This time it was different.

And i'm constructing this fantasy.

None of this was real. "Heeee heee heee." She said, her voice dragging off as she felt the last shreds of sentient thought dripping away into feelings, of hatred, of pure rage so cold it numbed. Of happiness, freedom of the chains of sanity which kept her bound and miserable. Instead of the tacky room which she was in. She saw a bright sun-filled living room. She was drawing a picture, it was a picture of Binky and daddy playing ring around the roses.

"Time to go show daddy!" She said, her voice eerie and several octaves too high for her own good.

Imagination is saving me! From the world I despise!

Suddenly her illusion crumbled around her as Inky stood in the doorway, her dark grey coat stained with mud and water, it bad been storming bad outside.

Suddenly her illusion was replaced by sheer anger, Pinkie herself could deal with her father. But when it came to her sister, nobody fucked with her. Nobody.

"Pinkie....Daddy [sniff] he...he.." she began but stopped when she saw the darkness falling over her sister's face.

And what about loneliness? What about friends?

Everypony could mock her, everypony could spit on her. Yet if anypony ever dare lay their hand on her sister, they would be in for it.

And what about Winning?

All thoughts of self-confidence had left as soon as he started. He was the cause of all this, of everything that was bad in her life. Everything.

She slowly made her way downstairs, her legs shaking and her eyes twitching from the sheer amount of pent up and repressed sorrow everything melded into a hodgepodge of madness.

And getting revenge?

She found him sitting at the dining room table, a picture of a smiling Binky before her...accident. He was nursing a bottle of Applejack Daniels when Pinkie walked in, the soft sad contemplating expression he had wore off. Instantly replaced by a mask of hatred and superiority.

"Oh? Back for more?" He asked in a condescending tone. She continued past him into the kitchen.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" He called behind her, he sounded so distant, like a crying baby. She made her way to a cupboard and found what she was looking for; a huge black butcher knife.

What about all of the things that the've done? It's time for some payback it's time for some fun!

All of it, all her sorrow, her despair, her twisted sexual desires, all of her anger and hatred was let out in one big warlike screech.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE'S PINKIE!" She shouted in a high pitched squeal upon reentering the living room. He looked up from his reverence with shock painted all over his face, the bottle half raised to his lips. She raced over to him and hefted the knife in her mouth. She of course missed but had succeeded in knocking him back over his chair.

As he lay, an interesting concept make itself known in her mind. "Hey daddyo! Let's pay a visit to Binky shall we?" She asked, her voice muffled by the knife still between her teeth. he dawned a look of pure terror as the realization kicked in.

"Look Pinkie, I know you're angry but ya gotta think reasonably-" he started, Pinkie just rolled her eyes and proceeded towards him, making him back up until he was against the doorknob to the basement.

"Oh shut up, you and I both know this is gonna end in one way." She said, he regained his composure and towered over the filly.

"And how might that be?" He asked now regaining lost ground, she smiled through the knife and struck downwards, cutting deeply into his front left hoof, he screeched and recoiled, slamming himself into the door and breaking it. As he stumbled downstairs, she spat out the knife and walked over.

"With you being a giant blood splatter in my memory!" She shouted before walking down the flight, locking the door behind her.

==================================================================================================

I awoke with a moan and thumping head. It was like a draft horse rhythmically beating against my skull. I tried moving my front hooves but promptly found that I was bound on a board. I swiveled my head to find iron ringlets nailing me to a wooden table.

"Hey! Anypony out there?" I asked to the darkness, it replied like a non-sentient ambivalent thing would; it gave me an unnerving silence.

"Oh hey pops! Glad to see you're awake!" Pipped a voice I was all to familiar with. Disgust and anger filled me as a pink filly made her way into my vision.

She was like a reminder of a past I had always wanted to forget, one filled with pain, one filled with abuse. She always put me in emotional turmoil, not because I hated her, but because I loved her.

It tore me up inside, to see her begging face everytime I came home. I don't know why, I don't know why but I always hit her, always. Everytime it worsens the guilt that is already killing me inside. I can't bear to see her face. So I naturally drink, I drink my life away with the knowledge that i'm going to die sooner or later.

She is my angel, my cherished little angel.

"Pinkie! Lemme out!" I called in anger, inside though I was crying and cringing with self-disgust.

"No can do daddyo! Oh wait a minute! I got a question!" She said disappearing from view.

"What?" I asked her.

"Why did the stallion cry out in pain?"

Suddenly, pain, blinding white and horrible. I screamed in pain and fought against my shackles which only intensified my pain.

"Cuz I cut his bucking dick off!" She chirped in a creaky sing song voice. I couldn't respond. Fear, pain, and sorrow overwhelming me as I began to cry.

"Oh? What's this? One little love tap and you're already crying like a bitch? C'mon! You think that's painful try getting raped for once! That shit'll screw you up good!" She said, her voice taking a husky quality.

"Luna damn you Pinkie!" I shouted, anger and helplessness beginning to overwhelm me. Soon enough the anger was replaced by melancholy and pain.

"This was a long time coming" Spoke a part of my brain not overrun with pain.

"Oh right! I got someone who's just dying ta see ya!" She said, her voice receding for a moment.

I heard hoofsteps beginning to approached accompanied by squeaking.

"I got a friend here!" She shouted.

Shoving the convulsing body of Binky into my line of sight, she stared at me with dead eyes, they seemed to glass over as tears began forming, her body twitched and jerked as she began going into cardiac arrest.

"Pinkie! Oh Celestia no, please please if you do nothing else tonight please put her back on life support before she goes into cardiac arrest!" I shouted, parental fear beginning to overwhelm me.

Of all the worst things that I could have ever done to my family, this was the worst. To this day I still drink myself to sleep over my daughter. I....I came home in a drunken stupor one night..and I saw her playing and she asked me to play with her....and I.....and I.....

"YOU CALL THIS LIVING?!?" Shouted Pinkie now losing her composure as she pointed to the washbasin just a few feet away, it was filled with dried out piss and caked on shit.

"EVERYDAY SHE'S DOWN HERE IN THE DARK! And guess what daddyo? It's all your fault! You were the one who did this!" She said stalking over to me, along the way she had regained her crazy grin.

"Pinkie please don't do this to her!" I said now in tears as Binky, my poor poor daughter's fits started to subside.

"Don't do what? Kill her? You know if you look at it from any other perspective other than the fact that she's here, she's technically dead." Replied Pinkie in an analytical tone.

Fear and helplessness started to overwhelm me, and I began to cry. I heard Pinkie's sarcastic, then genuine laughter.

"Oh, this is rich! Ain't this just the cutest thing?" She asked walking up to me and kicked me right on the stump of my dick. Another wave of pain exploded in that particular region as she continued punching and kicking, all with a smile smile on her face. After a while she seemed to get bored.

"Hey you said I was killing her right?" She asked tilting her head slightly, I only breathed deeply as sleep threatened to overtake me, I had lost alot of blood. I could see the red even through my half closed eye lids.

"For your information I payed daily visits to Binky, and I came across this." She said shaking a small white tape in front of my  face.

"What....what is that?" I asked, my voice heavy and delirious as I struggled to focus and hold on.

Suddenly....Binky's voice...something I hadn't heard in a long time came on from Celestia knows where I was too far gone to notice.

"..........Please..........kill.......me......please......kill me......please." The soft raspy and tired voice of my daughter, my poor poor daughter came on.

I began to cry harder. "Oh Celestia what have I done...my own daughters.....my own kids....I'm a monster." I cried hard until I felt searing pain in my flank.

"TOO LATE TO REPENT BIATCH!" Pinkie shouted shoving the knife, point first up my ass. "LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE A LITTLE FORCED INTERCOURSE!" She shouted.

Oh sweet mother of the holy celestial bodies it hurt. The only other time anypony did this to me was my father and that was a memory I thought I had long since repressed.

"OH LUNA AAAAAAUUUUUGH!" I shouted trying to dispel some of the searing white hot pain with my voice, a minute or two later I lost control of my anus spewing logs of shit all over Pinkie's knife and hoof.

"Oh Luna that's just nasty." Said Pinkie in a highly irritated tone. Suddenly I was shifted so I was staring at the now dead body of Binky, foam in her mouth.

"IT'S TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC DADDY! KISS AND MAKE UP!" Shouted Pinkie pulling me forward until I found myself in Binky's belly.

It smelled so strongly of cleaned shit and anti-septic, I felt like vomiting. Suddenly Pinkie screeched and I felt everything go dark and numb.

==================================================================================================

Pinkie sat there huffing, the sharp black butcher's knife buried in her father's neck. The adrenaline and sheer thrill was all that had been keeping Pinkie from collapsing in on herself.

It was like waking up from a dream, or in this case a nightmare. For the longest time Pinkie sat there expecting Inky or Diana to show up with police. As the hours ticked though, nopony came to inspect or do anything. She felt so odd and empty sitting there.

The deed had been sung and the story had been told and as she sat there, a cold numbing sensation seemed to pervade her soul. As if automatic, she walked upstairs and out the door.

And she just kept walking, not thinking at all.

==================================================================================================

"Day 3: Patient has calmed down substantially on her own account. She seems to be remembering something happy, has been smiling a lot, and has stopped flailing and general psychotic behavior. I still don't know how anypony could up and murder half her family and not be a raving lunatic but...I didn't expect anypony to bake her best friend into cupcakes."

Feel Good shut off the recorder and watched the Pink mare a bit longer. She was swaying gently while humming.

He began to make his way out, but was interrupted as she began to sing, her voice like crystal water to a traveler after a long hike through the desert.

"Don't go away, don't go away, don't go away and leave me here. Don't go away, don't go away, don't go away and leave me here."

She sounded so sorrowful, yet so resigned as she sang. Feel Good decided against his better judgement to go and see her.

He took a deep breath as he stood at the huge titanium doors. Composing himself, he pushed them open.