Twilight Sparkle stood in the library, reshelving books. Again. For the third time, not that week, but that day. Every time she thought she finished getting all the books on the shelves, she discovered that she had one more. When she went to put that one where it belonged, there wasn’t room for it. The first time, she had a history book, but the only shelf with empty space was for romance novels. The solution was obvious. She dumped all the books on the floor and started over. When she made it through the second time, she had an extra book of modern spells, but the only available shelf was for classic spells. Only one thing to do.
Having placed almost all the books on the shelves again, Twilight picked up the last one. She read the title and winced, turning to check the shelf which could be its new home... and breathed a sigh of relief as she slid it into place.
Twilight looked around at the newly sorted shelves, smiling in a self-satisfied sort of way, when there was a knock at the door. Content with her completed task, Twilight had a little extra spring in her step as she went to find out who had come to visit. She opened the door to discover a slightly panicked looking pink pony, although sometimes it was hard to discern panic from manic.
With this particular pony it was usually safer to assume manic.
“Oh, hi Pinkie Pie.”
“Twilight! Quick! I need your tongue!”
“You need wh-” Twilight’s question was interrupted by a face full of muffin. No, not a muffin, she realized as she worked her mouth thoughtfully. This had icing and sprinkles. It was definitely a cupcake.
Pinkie Pie stood wide-eyed, watching Twilight chew the baked goods.
“Sooooo?” Pinkie asked expectantly as soon as Twilight swallowed.
“Um... it’s good,” Twilight said, hoping she was giving the right answer. It seemed that she did, because Pinkie jumped in place, cheering.
“I knew it! I told Mrs. Cake that it would be good!” A few ponies were starting to stare at the outburst, and while this didn’t bother Pinkie Pie in the slightest, Twilight was getting a little uncomfortable.
“Why don’t you come inside, Pinkie?” Pinkie stopped jumping to answer with a serious expression.
“Because you haven’t invited me in.” Twilight facehooved.
“Please come inside, Pinkie.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie said, smiling. She pronked into the library and Twilight closed the door behind her.
“All right, Pinkie, now why wouldn’t Mrs. Cake think your cupcakes would be good?”
“I don’t know, I mean, my cupcakes are always good or at least that’s what everypony says and I know they’re telling the truth about that because they always ask for more and- oh, I almost forgot, here.”
Twilight looked at the item Pinkie was holding out to her. She blinked. She looked up over Pinkie’s shoulder. Her eye twitched.
“Oooh! Are you getting a sense of your own? A ‘Twilight Sense’? We can be ‘Sense Sisters’! Maybe. I don’t know, we’ll think of something!”
Twilight didn’t answer. Instead she bowed her head and her horn glowed. A couple seconds later all the books were on the floor again. Pinkie looked around, confused.
“Twilight? Why did you put all the books on the floor? I mean, I like it this way but I thought you wanted them on the shelves.”
“I thought I had enough room for all the books, but I didn’t have room to put this one back on the shelves,” Twilight said sadly.
“Well, duh,” Pinkie said. “This one didn’t come from the library, I wrote it!”
Twilight’s mouth worked soundlessly as she looked around the room at the work she had just undone for nothing. Muscles in her neck tightened and relaxed. Forcing a smile, she turned back to Pinkie Pie.
“You wrote a book?”
“Yeah! So many ponies love my cupcakes and some of them can’t even get to Sugarcube Corner to get them sometimes and I don’t want anypony to go without cupcakes when they really want cupcakes I mean have you ever just really wanted cupcakes and it was raining and you didn’t want to get your mane wet although I guess that’s more of something that Rarity would think about even though it’s silly because her mane looks great even when it’s wet but I tried explaining that to her and she-”
“Pinkie Pie? What about the book?”
“-and then she felt sad and didn’t even talk to me for three whole days!”
Twilight had the feeling she’d just missed something important, but she wanted to know more about the book. She waited a second to make sure Pinkie was really done with her story.
“So, you wrote a cookbook.”
“Yep! I showed it to Mrs. Cake first but she just said, ‘No’ and some other less nice words about my recipes so I brought it to you because you like books and cupcakes so I thought we could make some here to prove my cookbook is good!”
Twilight shifted her weight uncomfortably.
“Um, Pinkie... Spike’s not here and I... don’t cook. He’s the cook around here. I’m just... not good at it.”
“Come on, Twilight! A recipe is just like a checklist! You shouldn’t have any problem with it!”
Twilight perked up at that.
“A checklist? Well, I never thought of it that way before.” She smiled. “Yeah, I guess we can give it a try.”
“Hooray!”
Pinkie Pie practically dragged Twilight into the kitchen before sitting in a corner and waiting.
“Uh, Pinkie? What are you doing over there? I thought you said we were going to make cupcakes.”
“We are! I wrote the recipe - I mean, the checklist - and now you’re going to follow my directions and make cupcakes!”
“Okay,” Twilight said, not without some uncertainty. She opened the book. There was an author’s note before the first recipe.
All you have to do is take a cup of flour
Add it to the mix
Now just take a little something sweet, not sour
A bit of salt, just a pinch
Baking these treats is such a cinch
Add a teaspoon of vanilla
Add a little more and you count to four
And you never get your fill of....
Cupcakes. Are they really this easy to make, you ask? The answer is... yes! Inside this book you’ll learn how to make all kinds of amazing treats, from banana bread to chocolate chip cookies, from delightfully delicious dark donuts to exceptionally exquisite exploding egg eclairs!
“Exploding Egg Eclairs?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yep!” Pinkie said, smiling. “Those are lots of fun at parties! But they’re for more experienced bakers. You should probably just start with cupcakes.
“Cupcakes, cupcakes,” Twilight muttered quietly, flipping through the pages of the cookbook. “Ah! Here we are! Wow. You have a lot of cupcake recipes in here.”
“Just start with the first one,” Pinkie suggested. “I put the easier ones first. You aren’t up to using a blowtorch for cooking yet.”
Twilight decided not to question using a blowtorch for making cupcakes, and instead started following the checklist for the simple cupcakes. She got out a bowl and a cupcake tray, a spoon for mixing, and then looked at the ingredients list.
“Pinkie! There are eggshells and sawdust in these! That’s disgusting!”
“Aw... you said it was good,” Pinkie whined.
Twilight felt her stomach lurch. She hoped she misunderstood what Pinkie just said.
“Pinkie Pie, do you mean to tell me that this is the recipe for the cupcake I ate earlier?”
Pinkie nodded, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
Twilight’s stomach heaved again.
“But you said it was good,” Pinkie said sadly. “Wasn’t it good?”
Twilight took that opportunity to think logically. It had been good. Maybe she was misjudging the recipe. Just because it didn’t look good didn’t mean it wasn’t. It’s not like it was actually poisonous or anything.
“Well, yes. It was good. I suppose...” She fought down her rebellious stomach. “I suppose it’s worth a try.”
An hour and a half later...
“Huh. Those don’t look right,” a puzzled Pinkie Pie postulated.
“No kidding they don’t look right!” Twilight shouted. “They look like particle board with chocolate chips mixed in and topped with eggshells! Only if that’s what they were, at least they would hold together when I tried to pick them up!” To demonstrate, she scooped one out of the tray, but it crumbled almost immediately.
“That’s really weird,” Pinkie said, before picking one up and taking a large bite. The rest of the cupcake crumbled back onto the tray.
“I- Pinkie- you- what are you doing?”
Pinkie Pie chewed slowly and swallowed.
“No, these definitely aren’t right. But that doesn’t make sense; you followed my recipe!”
“Pinkie, I may not know much about baking, but I can tell you that following this recipe won’t get you anything other than this. You must have done something different when you made them.”
“Nuh-uh!” Pinkie replied, extremely intelligently winning the argument. “I’ll prove it.”
Another hour and a half later...
Twilight’s eye started twitching again.
“What? But... you... the... You did the exact same thing I did! How did your cupcakes turn out perfectly?”
“Twilight, don’t climb in the oven, it’s still hot in there.”
“I don’t understand!” Twilight’s voice echoed oddly due to her head being inside the oven. The clanging sound of hooves striking metal followed her frustrated outcry. She stepped away from the oven and wiped the sweat off her forehead. “There’s no secret panel in there, so you couldn’t have switched them out that way.”
Suddenly she whipped around and grabbed Pinkie Pie’s shoulders.
“How did you do it? These cupcakes looked just like mine did before you cooked them, but now they-” She did a double take at the tray of cooling cupcakes. “Are those walnuts? You didn’t even put walnuts in the batter! HOW CAN THERE BE WALNUTS IN THEM?”
Pinkie smiled and shrugged.
“I dunno. I just thought they’d be better if there were walnuts.”
“That makes no sense! How can you make cupcakes like this?”
“I always make cupcakes like this,” Pinkie said.
“You... always... make cupcakes this way?”
“Yep! Oh, and the other recipes I wrote down.” Twilight picked up the cookbook again and read through some of the other cupcake recipes. Frustration grew more and more evident on her face.
“Pinkie, you have two totally different recipes for the same kind of cupcake. And you have two of the same recipe for two different kinds of cupcakes! This isn’t scientifically possible!” Pinkie Pie smiled even wider, if that was possible.
“Hey! I just realized something! This is just like that time you tried to figure out how my Pinkie Sense works! Remember? That didn’t make sense to you either!” Twilight’s jaw dropped. She stared at nothing for a few minutes while processing what she’d just heard.
“I... you... you’re right. I never could figure that out. I just drove myself crazy trying. It’s just... you.” Twilight sighed heavily. She picked up the cookbook and handed it back to Pinkie, walking her to the door.
“Pinkie, I think you should keep baking cupcakes however it works for you, and maybe someday I’ll bring myself to eat more of them, if I can forget all about today. But if you want ponies to keep eating what you cook, you should never, ever, ever show this cookbook to anypony else. Ever.”
Pinkie gave a small grimace.
“I guess you’re right. I’ll see you later, Twilight. Thanks for your help.” She turned away and walked slowly toward Sugarcube Corner. Twilight stood just outside the library watching her sad friend walk away. She wished there was a way to cheer her up. Glancing away toward the setting sun, she thought of one.
“Pinkie Pie!”
Pinkie stopped walking and looked back at Twilight.
“Look,” Twilight said, gesturing to the sunset. Pinkie looked, then turned back to Twilight.
“Yeah, it’s pretty,” she said quietly.
“And only Celestia can do it. Cooking the way you do is something that only you can do, it’s just one of the many things that makes you special!” Pinkie Pie thought. A smile slowly spread across her face, her eyes lighting up.
“You’re right! Thanks, Twilight!” She hurried back to the library to give Twilight a hug, which was happily reciprocated.
“See you later, Twilight!” Pinkie said with a smile after breaking off the hug. She cheerfully pronked back home.
“Bye, Pinkie!” Twilight turned back into the library, a smile on her face as well. The smile froze and disappeared when she saw the books all over the floor. She picked up one book and set it on a shelf. Another book went onto a different shelf. She looked between the pile of books and the rapidly disappearing sunlight.
“Oh, buck this,” she muttered. She put all the books back on the shelves without any sorting whatsoever and went to bed.
Author's Note
This story idea came to me when I realized that the ingredients Pinkie was having Apple Bloom use wouldn't really make good cupcakes. Or even cupcakes at all. However, if Pinkie Pie used those ingredients, she could make wonderful cupcakes from them. Then it occurred to me that Pinkie could probably make good cupcakes out of the ingredients that Applejack used while sleep deprived. They only turned out the way they did because Pinkie wasn't the one to cook them.
