Every Candy Cane Has Its Tumors

by Grisaille987

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 6770

"You know, if I had to compare this place to anything right now, it'd be a nice, clean and sweet candy cane. We'd be the tumors that pop up out of nowhere on it, with everyone looking at us and going, "How the *squee* did they get

"If Equestria was a candy cane, we three would be the tumors."
"But... candy canes don't get tumors."
"E-f*squee*ing-xactly."

All three of them woke up just outside of a lake within a massive cake network. None of them have any explanation or memory as to what happened prior to the situation. Nor are they the most rational of beings within existence. All of them, however, do possess the ability to open the eyes of Equestria in their own unique way... even if that way might involve driving everyone they meet into thinking they're missing a few screws...

Written by Grisaille. Thanks to Cheyenne for idea contribution. Rated T for language.

Published 2013-02-19 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-03 03:21:31 UTC

Prologue: Cypher's Immersion

The normal day of a human being was mundane, but easily taken for granted. It wakes up, spends at least fifteen hours awake in order to fulfill the necessities for its body and mind, deals with gripes that other members of its species throw at it everyday while dealing with their own, go to sleep when night falls, and repeats that process the moment the day starts back up again. Sometimes, it is fully ready to embrace the coming day and the challenges that befall its person. Other times, it is indifferent and bored, wanting to get their dose of daily demands out of the way. But in all instances, the human in question slowly begins to adapt and get used to that particular way of life. They stick to that path like glue, having learned no other way to go. Whatever changes that occur are small or slow, allowing for gradual adjustment when needed.

But sometimes, change can be sudden. This kind of change can take you away from the safety and shelter of what you knew, dropping you in places where immediate knowledge is ineffective and useless. Because of this, there is a state of helplessness that befalls the victim, as they are unable to comprehend just how quickly their path has curved. Their attachment to what they once held in their hands leaves them confused, desperate for understanding and maybe even mentally broken if the extent of change is severe enough. Humans have grown to understand this consequence to the point of innate knowledge, as even the likes of a newborn will succumb to the need of resistance. It is why many fear change as well as accept it.

What would happen, then, if the entire world as you knew it had changed? What if that very change wasn't something that derailed you from how you perceived, but rather, it encouraged you to a new light? Would you be afraid or confused, still? Or would your acceptance of its form come a little faster? The answers, naturally, will vary from human to human. But what we will be focused on are the answers of three particular humans who have gone through that kind of change, answering the questions that I have given you in their own ways. Perhaps you will begin to understand a bit more than you would have expected to, as well. Let us begin, shall we?

The tale starts where the second to last crisis within Ponyville ended - in a cave. It was one of the few that existed within the Everfree Forest, located near its very center. If one were to look inside, eyes would see walls of gypsum that stretched wide and seemed to go on forever as they led deeper into the cave. They would see a ceiling with clusters of stalactites pointed downward like a set of teeth within an open mouth. They would feel a constant chill in the air if they stepped too far inwards, even if the sun was unopposed in the sky. This was known as the Everlasting Maw, a cave that no casual traveler dared to step foot in. This name was not given lightly, for even if there was further progress from the mouth of the cave, it always seemed as if there was no end to its throat.

For the more tenacious traveler, risk and resolve would prove to be very rewarding. Further trek into the cave would take you underground, away from light and towards the unknown. At first, the cave walls would slowly close in with each and every step you took, and the light coming from the outside would fade. But if you walked deeper, the darkness would be replaced by the light of a shimmering pure red. It isn't unusual to stop and ask the question, "Just what exactly is causing that?" After all, the only possible cause of it would have been light from outside. But obviously, that source in particular couldn't have produced such a color. Self-preservation and logic demanded that you step away, turn back and flee the cave before you do something that you'd most certainly regret. But if you were curious, daring to push the envelope, you would keep moving forward to see just what kind of mystery lay beyond.

When you made that final step, the walls would suddenly expand outwards to a dome-like area that was illuminated with the strange light. Unlike the majority of the cave you had trekked before, this area possessed little to no stalactites or stalagmites - a trait that gave off the impression of someone having been here before. With each movement made in this area, it would feel as if something had taken you in an affectionate embrace. Goosebumps would form on the skin, shudders stemming from elation would flow throughout the body, and any possible troubles or issues that were carried with you would be pushed into the storage of your subconscious. When you stepped into this cave, you might as well be stepping on holy ground.

The very center of it was dominated by a red pond that took up a bare maximum of the ground. Although there were no winds that could have reached the area due to the depth, the red water was constantly rippling as if it was being disturbed by something. If you approached its edge and looked into the liquid, you could see a small and bright orb of light peering back from the very bottom - the source of the anomaly. It was like the pond had its very own miniature sun to compensate for Celestia's own, minus the heat. This pond, only known through the few who had dared to complete the journey to it, spawned many rumors concerning its origins and creation. Some say that the king and queen of Equestria had created it long ago for the simple purpose of relieving the stress that their rule caused. Others say that it had been created recently in the wake of the all-healing wave that washed over Equestria and repelled Discord's influence. But none of these sayings have been proven true, even by the most intelligent of Equestria's scientists. No one has been able to explain that or the unworldly aura the pool gives off to travelers that step within its boundaries. The only thing that has been found out is that it possesses a name - a sign that someone had been there before the first traveler ever did.

Cypher's Pool.

Make sure to keep that in mind, for that name will be coming back once again as I tell this tale.

Today, Cypher's Pool would know three mysteries. Each one would come in the form of bipedal, hairless creatures that lay at the pond's edge and were soaked with its waters. The surface dwellers would not know their forms and would assume that these were animals of the Everfree or some foreign, untraveled lands. But you and I know them as humans, the dominant race of another world and dimension. What they were doing here of all places was a mystery that had yet to be solved. But once they wandered into the outside, they as well as the surface dwellers would learn much more about each other that they would've never learned while in the presence of their own kind. This is the story of their birth and the start of new potential lives within Equestria.

When I return, I will grace you with the personal experience of these three humans and their first contact with the outside world. Until next time, my courteous listeners.

Author's Note

Thanks for the cave name suggestion, Wise Cracker! Here's hoping it sticks. <3

Chapter 1: I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For... Why Are We Screaming Again?

The first thing that seventeen year old Griffen McKnight felt when he arose from his slumber was a pounding headache, and so, the first thing he did was emit a low groan as he returned to the realm of consciousness.

For him, it was like he had come from hibernation that lasted for months instead of a night's sleep. Every part of his body felt like dead weight, as if something had been pressing down on him while he was unconscious. The only thing he could bring himself to move was his eyelids, which slowly fluttered open. Rebooting eyes could not make out what was around him, their vision covered in a thick haze. But even if they could, his mind was too groggy for any comprehension. The only possible thing that could have caused him to fall into such a deep slumber was the influence of drugs, and he certainly was no drug addict. "That was one heck of a party..." He muttered, digging his palms into the earth and pushing himself up to a sitting position. He raised a palm to his temple, massaging it with the tips of his fingers. "I knew I shouldn't have let them drag me into the--"

He stopped himself immediately once he realized just what he was sitting on.

His eyes slowly drifted downward to see the fingers of his other hand pressed against the hard material of rock rather than the soft material of his bed. They drifted upward to see not a roof of a house above his head, but the ceiling of a cave. Lastly, they drifted downwards to see not his room, but a massive red pond similar to what he would have seen while at a high-class hotel. He could only stare at the scenery around him with a slightly twitching eye, his mind swimming with thought.

...in a strange cave. With a red pool that looks like it's made out of blood. I have no idea of what happened before then...

Promptly, he used two fingers to pinch himself.

...and apparently, this isn't some lucid dream I'm having.

Now, Griffen was a very rational person. He'd observe something, think about it for a good while before making a particular decision or action. This scenario was surely nothing different from what he had dealt with in his life prior to this moment. He was going to make the choice most appropriate to the situation at hand. So he pushed himself up to his feet, dusted off his backside, and took in a deep breath.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~!!!

....okay, maybe this scenario was just a little bit different.

Anyway, his screams were enough to wake the other two up from their slumber. But unlike Griffen in his awakening, they would come to be much more alert.

"HOLY CRAP IN A BAPTIST CHURCH, AM I LATE FOR COLLEGE?! I SWEAR I SET MY ALARM CLOCK THIS MOR--" The one known as eighteen-year-old Isaiah Hoffman screamed, abruptly jerking up at the loud noise. However, once his eyes took in his surroundings, he was quick to cut himself off. Thankfully, he had not taken after Thomas (who had begun to run around and flail his arms about like a decapitated chicken while he produced the loud and uncomfortable noise). Instead, he stared at everything with confusion and bewilderment while surveying everything he could. Naturally, his eyes fell on the third human, who was currently doing the same. Wary of this being some sort of dream, he hesitantly called out his company's name.

"T...Thomas?"

That brought who would be known as the nineteen-year-old Thomas Blythe's attention to Isaiah.

"Izzy?"

You see, this collective trio were very close friends who had known each other ever since college. Thomas was studying the likes of psychology, Isaiah was in the field of criminal justice, and Griffen (regardless of what you thought of him at the moment) was looking into sociology (much to the teasing by the other two of him being a communist). They shared classes and worked with each other commonly in projects given to them by their respective professors. You might think this to be a pointless interruption to my story-telling. But I urge you to keep it in mind, for it may clear up any misconception later on.

Their awe-inspiring attention towards each other was ultimately directed to the one that still hadn't acknowledged them at all.

"...Griffen." Both of them deadpanned, with Isaiah raising his voice a little in an attempt to gain the young man's attention.

No response.

"Oh, for the love of..." Isaiah shut his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose, his patience wearing away very quickly. The sound of his friend screaming like a little girl certainly had that effect on people. "Griffen!"

Still no response. Understanding that there was no reasoning with the panicked Griffen, Isaiah promptly grabbed the nearest and biggest rock he could hold with one hand.

"GOD..."

He lifted the rock over his head and aimed for Griffen's forehead just as he was turning around to face them.

"F-*Buy some apples!*..."

He let it fly.

"DAMMIT!"

The rock hit its target, and Griffen abruptly stopped his screaming. His legs were swung out from under him, and he fell ungracefully on his back. He was quick to trade his screaming for moans and complaints, holding the affected area with both of his hands. Isaiah let out a sigh of relief as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Good. Now I can actually hear myself think!"

Thomas snickered a little, standing up on his two feet and following the motions of Isaiah. "Nice shot..." He said, looking over to Griffen. "Hey, Grif! You all right?!"

"...I...just got hit with a rock the size of my fist! Would that seem all right to you?!"

Thomas shrugged, looking back over to Isaiah. "Yeah, he's fine."

Griffen managed to sit himself up again, glaring at Isaiah as he held his head. There was a noticeable shade of red behind the palm he was holding his head with. "What is wrong with you?!" He snapped. "Why would you even think of throwing something like that at me?!"

His anger didn't seem to phase Isaiah any, as he was met with a gaze of annoyance in return. "Why were you screaming like a little girl?"

"...I was not." Griffen felt his face heat up a little at the accusation, with one of his eyes twitching ones again. "And on top of that, I have plenty of reason to be screaming. You know, considering that I wake up not in my bed, but in some cave in front of a pool of blood?" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Thomas turn a curious eye at the red pool. But he kept his gaze on Isaiah. "Doesn't that freak you out at all?!"

"It probably would've," Isaiah said in agreement, rolling his eyes. "If I didn't wake up to the sound of you freaking out about it first." He folded his arms across his chest, turning his attention away from a rising Griffen to survey his surroundings. "Now, I think it'd be a good idea to worry not about where we are and instead think about how we're leaving. For all we know, this could be the cave of some animal scientists have yet to discover."

"Oh, that makes me feel really better about this." Griffen grumbled, turning his attention towards Thomas. But when he saw that the man was about to stick his hand into the pool, his eyes widened in alarm. "Wait, whoa, hold on a minute, Thomas! Didn't you hear a single word I said?! That's a whole load of--"

"Not blood," Thomas interrupted, pulling his wet hand out of the water.

Griffen blinked. "...what?"

"It's just water." Thomas explained, raising the hand up for visual confirmation. There were droplets of water coming off of it, falling to the ground under his feet. "If it was blood, my hand would be stained red. Not to mention, blood gives off a very bad smell. At this point, we'd all be complaining or getting sick considering we're so close to it."

"...huh." Was the intelligent response.

"Well, you learn something new every day, don't we?" Isaiah said, walking past the two to the opening and what he assumed to be an exit. "Now then, as much as I'd love to have a biology class right now, I think the topic at hand is getting out of here and finding out where exactly we are. C'mon."

His two friends were not too far behind him, and it wasn't long until they found themselves standing in front of the long and narrow tunnel leading up to the surface. Now, remember what I said before? If you didn't happen to read between the lines, here is where I'll sum up. The path to Cypher's Pool was a long, dark and narrow one. It may have been the only tunnel leading down to the pond. But until you reached the very end, it would be no different from walking around in darkness. So it shouldn't be much of a surprise to you to hear that when the three reached the mouth of the tunnel, they stopped to stare at it for a few moments.

Griffen was the first to offer his suggestion to this problem.

"So, uh... who's going first?"

"Nope." Thomas said immediately.

"Kill yourself." Isaiah added.

"Well," Griffen scoffed, taking another look around the cave that they were in. "I don't see any other way that we're going through. So if you boys have any bright ideas of your own on how to get out of here, I'd love to hear it!"

"Well, I have one." Thomas smirked. "Since you're acting all gung-ho all of a sudden, you can go out there, let the bear or whatever that could be hiding within that tunnel jump you, and then Isaiah and I can sneak away while it's busy feasting on your remains. It's the perfect plan!"

"Well, what if it doesn't find me tasty or nutritious enough, and turns to get you guys next while you're trying to sneak by it?" Griffen countered sarcastically, glaring at Thomas. "Then what?"

This was a good flaw to point out in the plan, emphasized by Thomas's singular blink as he stared at Griffen for a moment. "...well, now that I think about it that way, you may have a point..." He admitted, allowing himself to sit down on the ground Indian style. "All right, guys. I think we should all stop and think about this very carefully. None of us want to go in first and risk getting turned into a bear's chew toy. So, what are we going to do?"

So Isaiah and Griffen sat themselves down, put on their proverbial thinking caps, began to plan. They, along with Thomas, fell into a pondering silence as they contemplated their navels for guidance. Occasionally, one would shift his gaze to the other two in the hopes that an idea would glimmer in at least one of their eyes. But that particular person would only find an expression that mirrored his own, he would go back to his navel once more. This pattern would go for nearly a minute, and afterwards Isaiah would be the first one to pull out of his meditative trance.

"Got it!" He exclaimed, earning the attention of both of his compatriots. "All right, you two. You're going to have to back me up on this one. We all take in a deep breath..."

"Uh huh...?"

"We run in..."

"Go on..."

"...and as we're running the whole way, we scream at the top of our lungs until we get to the outside."

This idea was met with silence and stares. As Isaiah regarded each of them, he could see one of Griffen's eyes twitching. What was a sure sign of disbelief and skepticism was confirmed when the young man voiced his concerns on the matter.

"...wat."

"Now, Griffen," Isaiah chided, raising both his eyebrows and regarding Griffen in the same manner that he would have done if he was regarding a naive child. "I know you may not have full confidence in yourself as of this minute. But I assure you that you can accomplish this if you try as hard as you can. After all, the earlier act of you imitating a girl being kidnapped or whatnot--"

"I was not screaming like a girl!" Griffen shouted.

"See? You're already eager for the task and you don't even know it."

Griffen's angry sputtering and stammering left Isaiah to turn towards an equally baffled Thomas. "And what about you, Thomas? I'm sure that if we can pull this off, we'll be able to scare off any wildlife that we happen to cross. They tend to get real frightened by loud noises, after all..."

Slowly, Thomas narrowed his eyes. "You know what? This just may be the dumbest idea I have ever had the displeasure of carrying out. But if it's a chance not to get mauled by a bear, then what the hell? I guess I can go through with it." Slowly, he stood up and dusted himself off, turning to face the doorway.

Isaiah smirked. "Glad you see it my way." As he followed suit, he looked over to Griffen. "All right, Grif, you can stop practicing! It's time to move!"

"...I swear to God, Raptor Jesus, Buddha, 4chan, Anonymous or whatever other god you guys happen to worship." Griffen growled, exhaling a heavy sigh and slapping his hands on his eyes. "If we all happen to die, I'm throwing you both in the first pit of lava that we come across."

"Good to hear. Now, ready up and limber those legs, gentlemen!"

-♥HEY THERE, SEXY.♥-

"Mom! Can't you fly at least a little straighter than this?!"

"I'm trying, Dinky! Celestia knows I'm trying!"

"I don't think we'll get very far if we keep-- whoa, jeez, we just missed that cloud!"

Ditzy Doo was of the more optimistic types of ponies out of Ponyville. With a head as high in the clouds as she herself could go, an innocence and bubbly nature that rivaled that of Pinkie Pie's, and a spirit that would have made Mother Nature shed tears of pride, no one would have ever perceived the likes of her as a mother to a child - especially a responsible and stable one. But somehow, these two had easily defied expectations and were living just as normally as any other family would. But the quirk about this was that most of the time they spent together consisted of the filly looking after the mare instead of the other way around. Of course, most of this was due to her odd eye condition. But there were times that Dinky would catch Ditzy eating one of her muffins, having to wake up because her mother was terrified of a monster in her closet, and overall making sure the mailmare didn't get into trouble.

This latest event would be Dinky trying to steer Ditzy over the Everfree Forest after picking her up from a visit at Canterlot... and failing miserably.

"Fly higher! Fly higher!"

"Isn't that what I'm doing?!"

"No, you're flying-- wait, don't drop! You're dropping!"

"No, I'm no-- Ah! A tree!"

"Pull up, pull up, pull up, pull--!"

The said failure was emphasized by the sound of Ditzy crashing into a tree, with Dinky falling off of her back and onto the ground below. Luckily, she was only a foot or two off of the ground. So any damage sustained was minor at best, although she was most certainly a little dazed afterwards. She scrambled up onto her hooves, looking up at Ditzy and seeing the pegasus's body stuck in between a hollow within the tree they had crashed into. Her head and front area was poking out of one end, while her tail end was poking out the other.

"Mo-om!" Dinky complained, scrunching up her face and glaring at Ditzy. "I told you to pull up!"

Ditzy blushed in embarrassment and smiled sheepishly, pressing her forehooves against the bark of the tree in preparation to pull herself out. "Oops... my bad..." She muttered. "Guess I really was diving..."

She held her breath, letting out a brief grunt as she pushed against the tree with all of her might. But in this particular case of a crash, she would find that she had stuck herself in very deep. The hollow held her with an iron grip, and she found herself having to force more and more effort into pulling herself out. But eventually, however, her efforts gave out under the strain, and it wasn't long before she gave up with a deflation of her body and a heavy sigh.

"Okay, I'm really stuck here. Muffin, could you give me a hoof or two?"

Dinky sighed, walking over to the tree to stand behind Ditzy. She reared up on her hind legs, pressing her forehooves on the mare's hindquarters and digging her hind hooves in. "Okay, we push at the same time. Ready?" Ditzy was quick to nod. "One... two..." Before the last count was given, the filly took in a deep breath and tensed her muscles. "Three!"

A piercing scream - or more specifically, a trio of piercing screams, would interrupt them before they could proceed, unintentionally causing them to freeze up. This time, it was Derpy who would scrunch up her face and glare in the direction of the sounds.

"What was noise?"

The sound of progress, my friend.

-♥MAKE ME A SAMMICH.♥-

The earlier statement was not simply a failed attempt at a Team Fortress 2 reference, I assure you. As we come back to the perspective of our trio of humans, we see that there really is progress.

Isaiah's plan, ridiculous as it was, was carried out rather smoothly. This could easily be contributed to the fact that there were no animals living or present within the cave. Of course, none of them knew that, so it was justified that they would feel victorious and triumphant. What wasn't justified was Thomas and Griffen getting into a wrestling match after the former screamed "America" right after he escaped the cave and before tackling the latter to the ground. Needless to say, Isaiah was less than pleased.

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, COMMUNIST!"

"LONG LIVE MARX!"

"....why?" Isaiah had a palm to his face as he listened to the two fight and shout at each other. Because the others had gotten so enthralled within their activity, he had taken the liberty of inspecting their surroundings. They would have found themselves within the middle of a forest, as you and I both know. Other than areas of grass marking a pathway to wherever, they were surrounded by trees and the constant sounds of birds chirping within the canopy. The canopy wasn't thick enough to blot out the sky, which was partially cloudy. Had Isaiah more sane colleagues, he wouldn't have been the only one to realize they were in a completely foreign environment.

Then again, he'd also panic much more quickly.

Nevertheless, he took the liberty of getting their attention with a shout. "GUYS! FOCUS!"

Both of them looked up with almost innocent looks, despite Griffen having Thomas in a headlock as of that particular moment. Despite where he was at the moment, Thomas looked more irritated at Isaiah's shout rather than Griffen's hold on him. "Well, excuse me, princess." He said sarcastically. "If you were having that time of the month, you could've just said so."

"I want you two to take a good look around!" Isaiah decided to ignore that particular comment, swinging his hand around to emphasize the desire of them focusing. For the sake of not wanting to hear his complaints, the two pulled away from each other and surveyed the area. "Do either of you recognize this place? Ring any bells in those tiny skulls of yours?"

"Nope." Thomas said.

"Kill yourself?" Griffen suggested.

"...I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that last comment." Isaiah sighed. "Look, the point is, we're in a completely foreign environment. There's nothing but trees, foliage, and birds everywhere! And it just so happens," He paused for a moment, slapping his hands onto his pockets to feel for anything within. As expected, there was nothing. "I don't have my cell phone with me to call for help! The least you could do is stop trying to reenact U.F.C. and help me think!"

"Well," Thomas pointed out, bringing himself up to stand. "You make it sound like there's some easy way out of this when there probably isn't."

"And you're completely calm about that?"

"It's really not that bad." Thomas insisted, shrugging. He spread his arms out, turning and taking a few steps away from them. As he spoke, there was a growing smile on his face - just an indication of just how he liked the topic. "I've always been the outdoors person. When I'm not tending to chores or anything like that, I just sit in the shade of the trees nearby my house, kick back and relax. Hearing those birds sing, the wind whistling by... I'm telling you guys, God knows music better than any man in existence!"

"Watch out, guys, we've got a hippie over here." Griffen snorted.

He was promptly rewarded with a glare from Thomas. "Shut it, commie."

"...oh." A sarcastic smile came across Isaiah's face, and he casually strolled up to Thomas as the latter turned around to face them once again. "So you're an outdoors kind of guy, huh?"

"Yup!"

"Let me see your nature face."

Even the birds above seemed to have fallen into an awkward silence with that particular statement. Thomas and Griffen regarded Isaiah with bewilderment, which was returned with a look of dissonant smugness.

"...what." Thomas said flatly.

"You got a nature face?" Isaiah repeated almost in a taunting manner, taking a few steps back just enough for both of them to see. "Here, let me show you a nature face..."

-I CAN'T FIND MY CHIN.-

"I'm really sorry, Dinky..." Ditzy said, her head hung down and her lips contorted into a sad pout as she trudged behind her daughter. "My eyes are only this wonky on rare occasions. I just don't know what went wrong..."

"It's okay, Mom. It's not like I want to be in the air more than I have to, anyway..."

Ditzy was always a rather uncoordinated flyer when it came right down to... well, flying. There were times that she could easily adjust to and compensate for it, flying with plentiful but minor casualties. But there were also times that she made worse crashes than Rainbow Dash did in trying to perform a new trick. In the latter case, it was due to her already wall-eyed vision getting temporarily worse (as she had put it). Therefore, the two were forced to trek through the forest on foot. Without their "eye in the sky" point of view, however, navigation was much more difficult than normal. So Dinky's next words weren't much of a surprise.

"But I think we're lost now!" Dinky emphasized this with a stomp of her hoof, frustration clear on her face. "Ugh! Just when I get out of that big maze of a city, this happens! Now we're stranded and I have no clue how to get back to Ponyville!" She looked as if she was about to cry, face-planting into the dirt and releasing another whining groan. "Why me? Why us, Mom?"

"Hmm..." Derpy sat down beside Dinky, placing a hoof to her chin in thought. "Maybe... we were chosen for something." This prompted Dinky to pull her face from the dirt and look at her in confusion as she continued speaking. "Maybe there's something bigger than you and I that we're supposed to accomplish, something that could change the very course of history as we know it! Why, our actions could even involve the fate of Equestria itself! Maybe it's an assassination on the lives of Celestia and Luna, or some portal leading into some alternate dimension where everypony's crazy and eats each other, or even a zombie apocalypse! What if no one's prepared for a zombie apocalypse! There'd be chaos, chaos everywhere, I tell you!"

By the end of this, Derpy was flailing her arms over her head like wet noodles, an excited expression on her face. Dinky simply stared at her, wondering just how hard the mailmare had hit her head. But after several seconds, Derpy realized just how ludicrous her statements were and finally lowered her forelegs back down.

"Of course, I could have hit that tree harder than I thought..."

Dinky rolled her eyes. "I'm leaning more towards the second." She stood up, regarding the path in front of her with disdain. "Well, we're not going to go anywhere by just sitting here and thinking about it." She passed a glance over at Derpy, slight hope flickering through her gaze. "Unless you don't have to worry about your eyes anymore?"

"Sorry, Dinky..." Derpy said apologetically, standing up on her hooves. "I don't think I can risk it, especially not when I'm carrying you. We got really lucky when I crashed, but next time could be worse. Understand?"

Dinky deflated. "Yeah... but we don't even have any idea of where we are, and we're probably walking a long way. We don't even know if there are any animals that happen to live--"

She would be cut off and they would jolt up at the sound of another scream of terror, followed by a brief one of pain. This time, they could identify it accordingly.

"Wait a minute. That sounds like somepony's in trouble!" The mare exclaimed. "What if they're caught by a manticore or a timber wolf or anything like that?! We have to help them!" Without warning, and much to Dinky's surprise, she abruptly took off. "Come on, Dinky!"

"But-!" The filly tried to protest, but by the time she could lift a hoof up, Derpy had already gotten considerable ground ahead of her. She groaned in frustration, quickly racing off after her mother. "Oh, what if we're the ones that end up getting caught by a manticore? Suddenly, I'm starting to wonder why didn't we just take a carriage back..."

-THE DOCTOR IS OUT-

"Why the hell did you punch me?!" Isaiah yelled, nursing a black right eye as he glared at a disturbed Thomas and a guffawing Griffen. "All you had to do was tell me to stop and I would've!"

"Did Perseus tell Medusa to stop when she was petrifying people via a staring contest?!" Thomas retorted. "No! He chopped her head off!"

"It couldn't have possibly been that bad!"

"The hell it wasn't! You might as well have violated my entire soul with that look!"

"Now I know you're just being dramatic." With an agitated groan, Isaiah pushed himself back onto his feet while still holding his affected eye. "Jeez, man. How strong are those bones in your knuckles? Felt like my eye was going to pop out..."

Thomas's rattled nerves immediately steadied themselves once they saw Isaiah would not continue giving him the face. He smiled, as if the complaint was nothing more than a compliment. "That ain't just knuckles talking." He said proudly, raising one arm up to show off the muscle. "That's my strength. Getting nagged by your parents to do outside work can prove to be rather beneficial, contrary to belief. Now that I think about it, if there was some sort of animal that jumped us right now, I could take it on no sweat."

"No sweat, huh?" Isaiah raised a skeptical eyebrow. "So what if we got attacked by, I don't know, a grizzly bear or something?"

"Then I'm going to use all my strength to run away, French style." Thomas said, still smiling.

"Wow, nice to know that I have such loyal and dependable friends. No really, your devotion makes me quite envious!"

As they were talking, Griffen had stopped his laughter and was now watching the two in boredom. He had taken to sitting Indian style on the ground with an elbow on his thigh and a fist propping up his chin. Every now and then, he would look around to see if any wildlife was coming to their area. Every time he did so, he would come up without much results. There was the occasional rabbit or bird, but nothing that presented an immediate danger to them. It was somewhat odd; if the possibility of noises attracting animals was true, then they surely would have attracted a plethora than what they were getting.

"Hey, guys?" He finally called out, causing both of them to look at him. "How come we haven't attracted any wolves or bears or any of the like? I'm pretty sure that if all of us screaming while running through the cave didn't do it, Thomas screaming like a little girl--"

"That was justified, thank you very much!"

"Ha."

"--had to cement it." Griffen finished, a bit annoyed at having been interrupted. "Right?"

The thoughtful look in both of their eyes marked the observation an intelligent one. Isaiah gave a slight nod. "Well... now that you mention it, I've been seeing nothing except birds flying above our heads. Where is everything?"

"Maybe we're in some sort of regulated wildlife resort?" Thomas suggested. "All the animals are probably situated into one place far from here. And if that's the case..." His expression started to brighten a little as he thought about it a little more. "There are people here, and if there are people, there may be someone to tell us just exactly where we are! Or at least a phone for us to call our parents!"

"That just might be the smartest thing you've said all day." Isaiah said snarkily.

"Hello! Excuse me, hello!" Suddenly, a female voice grabbed their attention. "I heard screaming over here! Is someone in trouble? Where are you?"

"Our lucky day, gentlemen..." Isaiah chuckled, turning towards the sound of the voice. He raised his voice so that whoever on the other side could hear him, waving his hand for emphasis just in case they happened to be seen. "Oh, no, we're all fine! We just ran into some trouble and need help getting our way out of here. Where are you?"

"Hold on, I'm coming out!" Quickly, Thomas and Griffen moved to Isaiah's sides, eager to find assistance within their plight. They watched the bushes shift, expecting the appearance of a possible resort staff member or even a resident living near this particular neck of the woods. The latter possibility would have been more of a relief, considering that would indicate they were close to civilization.

But what they weren't expecting was the sight of a gray pony with a blonde mane and wings walk out from behind the bushes.

"Sorry, I didn't know anypony was even here until--"

Derpy abruptly stopped herself once she locked eyes on their form. The trio of humans did the same, and both sides immediately froze up. They were regarding each other with complete and utter shock, blinking once or twice to make sure that neither side was facing a hallucination. It was a standoff, with the silence only broken by the birds chirping ahead.

"You could've at least let me ride on your back before you--"

Dinky's complaint to her mother was lost, and she fell victim to the shock and silence that had overtaken all of them once she saw what was akin to hairless and nearly deformed Diamond Dogs staring at both of them. There was nothing but a tense silence between the two parties as they regarded each other, with blinks being the only thing keeping them from being identified as statues.

Not soon after, Mother Nature would be having a choir of screamers within her womb.

Author's Note

And the first chapter has arrived! I see that there are already 11 likes for this piece. Both Cheyenne and I appreciate the support you've been giving us, and I personally appreciate your comment about the prologue, RedDeadElite. We really want to do my best with the music links put into the occasional sentence and to have that effect, but sending chills down the spine is something I have yet to master. Regardless, I hope everyone finds enjoyment from this first chapter and expect more coming up soon. Be warned, though; we work at our own pace, so don't expect this to have a schedule attached to it.

Thank you all, and have a good day/night!